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Donkey - Thursday Mar 07, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

Logging in from work, because I have time here that I didn't have this morning, and I have things I want to talk about.

Completed my 2nd lower body heavy weights workout last night. So one week under the belt, and I'm so glad I'm doing this.  I've decided pretty much that I am not going to get any more refills on the amino acid supplements I was taking for "muscle recovery". I think it would serve me better to just eat or drink some source of protein after weights.  Now that I know that the muscle fatigure I was feeling is more likely due to being so anemic, rather than just depleted.

I finally mentioned this to my husband last night, but I don't think he really heard me, and so now I'm mentioning it here:  I'm rather stressed out about these medical issues.  I know that I don't need to be, at least not right now because for now we don't know anything.  And if it's just anemia, that will be OK.  I mean to say, it's not like I have cancer.  I know this logically; however, emotionally, I'm really struggling with keeping calm on the inside.  So what did I do to try to calm myself down?  Eat almost an entire bag of sugar free chocolate candy.  DO NOT DO THIS.  Even if malitol does not cause you gas or diarrhea, this is NOT a smart thing to do.  I am REALLY regretting my actions from last night this morning.

Today is picture day at work, and of course, I feel just awful:

  • Feeling so bloated from eating too much sugar free chocolate.
  • Feeling so bloated from hormone (TOM) issues.
  • Woke up with my back/hip feeling pinched, like what happened last year, that took me out of commission for 2 weeks.  I must have slept badly.  FitBit says I got enough sleep, but I couldn't tell it by the way I feel today: exhausted, sore, and in pain today.  I did some stretches at home and that seemed to help my back, but now, as I sit here, I can feel myself stiffening up again. I will need to stretch out my foot (plantar fasciitis) soon.

With the bloat, the overeating, and heavier weight training, I do not anticipate a very good weigh-in this Saturday.  However, I took a look in the mirror: very pleased with arms and legs progress - coming along quite nicely!

Well all I can do is try to do better today.  So that is what I will do.

Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2019:
So the reason for the soreness / fatigue was actual iron issues? is it because it's like there's less oxygen then traveling to your muscles when you need them? asking bc i sometimes feel that way... my complete physical is Monday (taking off the day bc it's also for the dentist and eye doctor! yes, many appts Monday! scheduled that way on PURPOSE and all very local but it WILL be several hours spend doing health stuff Monday :)

I've planned for a "sick day" and will NOT prob do a full exercise or long walk, but, i WILL walk to all appointments (they are all around 1/2 mile away, that's it and it's only 2 different locations!) that day...i'm not sure i'll be walking more, depends on weather..

i plan to GO TO LIBRARY :) and research Paris more between on the appts...we shall see if i change my mind!

I feel like i got to maintenance maybe a full year or so before you decided you were at maintenance...that whole first year i was still learning how to maintain especially bc i think the week into the wedding i was eating rather low cals and low cals all that last month i'm sure so i remember after reaching maintenance i was quick to gain after my sister's wedding in april 2016 (now already 3 years ago!). since then i have maintained (so 3 years i've been in maintenance - HOW LONG FOR YOU IN MAINTENANCE??). what i'm trying to say is, when you add in the weight training stuff and starting to eat diff foods, these are variables that will affect your maintenance of course!

Malitol DOES cause me gas and of course worse things!

even if you are bloated, it will NOT show in picture day ;)

I hope you feel better soon. I am glad you are noticing change in your body already, i am sure there is!

Donkey on 03/08/2019:
I am thinking that the fatigue is due to the anemia, because the amino acids didn't seem to make any difference. Maybe they did, but because of the anemia, it wasn't as effective? I just think it's money that's probably better spent on iron pills instead, LOL.

Donkey - Wednesday Mar 06, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

Made it through yesterday.  I just realized that my upper body workout was the best part of yesterday, so that's saying something! 

The ultrasound was not so bad, but I am glad that it is over, and also glad that I do not have to do this on a regular basis.  Even drinking the 32 ounces of water an hour before was not so difficult.  Unpleasant, but not difficult.  My husband came with me, and I'm glad that he did.  Moral support was very helpful.

I actually had 2 ultrasounds:  one was on my pelvis, and it was so neat to see my insides: uterus, ovaries...  At one point, the tech was taking measurements of something, and without thinking I said, "OH MY GOSH IS THAT WHOLE THING A FIBROID???"  She said, "We're not allowed to say anything about the ultrasound," to which I replied, quite embarrassed, "Yes, of course, I understand, I'm terribly sorry."  I think what I was seeing was actually my entire uterus.  

The second part of the ultrasound was transvaginal.  I could not see the screen for that part.  I had to work hard to relax, but I did it quite well.  If you relax, the procedure is not painful or nearly as uncomfortable as it would be if you are not relaxed.   She kind of walked me through what she was doing ("Now I'm looking at your right ovary...").  Fascinating!  

My doctor should have these results by the end of the week.  I see a GI doctor in 2 weeks (from yesterday) to (probably) set up a scope.  THAT preparation will be difficult.  I am not looking forward to that at all.  I do not think I need a GI scope other than I'm getting old.

Getting to work an hour late was like being thrown into the deep end of a cold pool.  Phones ringing, lenders with questions, email overload.... Not the best way to start one's day under any circumstances.  In retrospect, I probably failed to set boundaries for myself (I'm not ready, I need coffee, take a message).  However, I sit right outside my boss's office, and if I say, "Take a message" then that sounds like I'm not trying, or that I'm anti-social or not available to our people.  That's the thing about my job is that I really have to be at everyone's mercy and demands.  It's incredibly unfair, but we're a service industry and that's how it goes.

Tonight is lower body weights.  I am so glad that I am challenging myself with these heavier weights.  I have also caught myself looking at pricing/offers for the local gyms, for my next step!  The best deal is in a totally inconvenient location.  The closest cheap place (I could ride my bike there) is Anytime Fitness, which is only staffed 10am-7pm.  The other really close place is too expensive and on my "Lottery List" if I ever win the lottery.  The gym with a punch-card system is farther away and not convenient.  Well, there's time to make this sort of decision later on.


Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 03/06/2019:
I've had a transvaginal ultrasound before and you're right - as long as you're able to relax, it is not the worst thing to have to get done... although, for me, it's definitely 'up there' on the list LOL.

I work at two Anytime Fitness gyms, and even if they are not staffed, you should still be able to access the gym at 'Anytime'. So unless you need the staff for a specific reason, you can go whenever you want.

The other good thing about Anytime Fitness, here anyways, is that when you become a member you get access to their workout app that you can download for free to your phone. This app shows you a MILLION different exercises you can do - it even provides programs for you to follow for strength workouts - and has a short video for EVERY exercise to actually show you correct form and how to do the movement pattern. It's AWESOME and I highly recommend it - although I am slightly biased!

Donkey on 03/06/2019:
Well, like I said, it's super easy to get to, and reasonably priced. I don't think I need the gym to be staffed. I'm not sure why this is bothering me. Right now, they have a free week trial. However, I'm not going to do anything until I'm at that point. Who knows, by then we may be packing up to leave and it will be moot. (Yes, it might take me THAT long to max out on 15 pound dumbbells.)

Horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2019:
That's so awesome to hear you are now happy about lifting ... at least more than you were! That's how i look at it, too. The benefits are totally worth putting in these workouts!

It's great your husband joined you. That's a good partnership you have with him and as long as he can join you, i think it's the best option too.

Not sure if you remember, but i have training in the field of Xray tech which is similiar to sono tech. That's their typical reply to any questions about what they are looking at. Don't be embarassed, they must say that statement all day long! They might also answer something like "The dr will be the one to share any details with you, etc etc..." Believe it or not, they only take the photos, but they don't diagnose...that's the pay scale / training.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2019:
Yuck to the GI scope. my father also had to do it for the first time a few years ago. he was NOT happy doing the prep procedures at home!

next time, if you have to, pick up a coffee on the way to work if you are coming late? even though you are spending money, it's a way to have it with you...or, just quickly come in and make a coffee first thing, so you don't have to think about it. this is what i do in mornings everyday at work (it works for me). you are allowed a coffee at work, even if late, there's no sign saying otherwise, if it is going to help you get your work done ;) I understand what you feel about it seems like you aren't trying - remember you are your WORST critic and that for 15 minutes people can take calls until you are settled...i think it's ok, but that's just my opinion.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2019:
Personally, i believe the closer the gym, the better. Hours need to be good, too. Make sure the hours are in line with your current hours of exercise during the day. if you have to change your routine too much all at once, it doens't work so try for the most convenient is my reccomendaion.

Donkey - Monday Mar 04, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

I will not have timem to post tomorrow morning, most likely, as I am leaving for the hospital for my ultrasound at around 7am.  I guess I will be drinking water the whole trip down there.  Then I am coming home and getting ready for work -- not going to rush getting to work AT ALL.

Today, I felt a nice muscle ache in my lower body from Sunday's weight training.  I'm really looking forward to seeing results - if any - to using the 15lb dumbbells.  Have to keep the eating in check, though.  *sigh*

So even if I'm not posting myself or replies, I am keeping up with your entries.   

Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2019:
Will hubby stay home or go with you to the hospital? wow that is early...YES, do not rush.

Yes, you will see results though it may even take a few months. Yes, the eating needs to be in check too...which YES is hard especially in Winter since (at least in my case) cardio isn't that big yet especially on weekends.

good luck at your appointment today and take your time on the commuting.

legcramps on 03/05/2019:
Have a good day today!

I know you will see results with your progression in strength training if you stick to it; just keep trying to follow along with your plan!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2019:
how did it go today Jdonkey??? <3

Donkey - Sunday Mar 03, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

Not too sore this morning from working out with the heavier weights (upper body) yesterday.  Hmm...  With the heavier weights, I find that I have to utilize my workbench more, to help stabilize my arms, or rather, joints, to isolate the movements.  Need to take my "before" pictures this morning...

This week, at work, we're supposed to be having a photo session for the firm's website, because since the last photo, 3 people have left, 1 person is new, and the person who was excluded last time (Nice Lady - yes, excluded because she's not part of our firm, but rather paid by Associate Attorney) will be included this time.  My hair is normally dark brown, but I have a patch of gray/white hair at my face where my part is.  It's not a solid patch, but there's quite a bit of gray there.  So I decided that this would not photograph well and want to project a more professional image for something that will be online for the next 5 years.  I chose a lighter brown hair color at the store, thinking a lighter brown would look warmer.  I was taking an online political quiz when I was letting the dye set, and ended up keeping the dye in my hair way too long.  

When I finally got in the shower to rinse it out, I came out of the shower only to find that my hair had turned a bright color of burnt orange.  Yes.  This morning, now that the hair is dry, it looks more like light brown, but not all of the gray is covered -- I've read that some people's gray hair cannot be colored.  For whatever reason, it rejects or cannot absorb the dye.  The gray that is left blends in more with the lighter brown, and I'm OK with that.  I was not happy about having to color my hair though.  The instant I rinsed it out, I missed my gray hair.  >>>This could also be a reaction to the hideous orange outcome though, hard to tell what my emotions were other than horrified.  

I made the decision to stop dying my hair and go natural because the chemicals are very harsh, and my hair is thin enough already.  I didn't feel like I lost that much hair this time around, but I could tell when putting on the dye that my hair really is thin - that I'm not just imagining this.  It may be the anemia. I'm hoping that's what it is...  It might just be part of getting old. 

Speaking of which, on Tuesday, I'm having an ultrasound which will be evaluated by a GI doctor to see if I need to be scoped.  Yikes!  I'm probably due for another scope anyway.  I had one in my early 30s, and there was 1-2 polyps that came back benign.  Now that I am approaching 50, it's probably time for another scope, but if I don't need one, I'd be OK with that. It's a very unpleasant, uncomfortable process to cleanse the day before.  On the plus side, though, that might help me lose a few pounds, LOL.



Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/03/2019:
Yes, it makes sense with the heavier weights the need for more stabilization. I also have those issues comparatively, yes!

lol to losing a few more pounds bc of the scoping procedures LOL...

i always find that dying hair makes a person look so much younger, but, if you don't want to dye it, it's your preference! they do sell more natural products...

i'm glad you are doing the heavier weights, you will NOT be disappointed. as long as you don't just eat to gain weight, there's no way that lifting will bulk you up as muscle takes up less space than fat! :)

Donkey on 03/03/2019:
I should do more research into natural hair products. Or products that are more gentle. But then, that would mean I'd have to spend more than $3. (LOL)

Donkey on 03/03/2019:
I always feel hungrier when I do heavier weights. :( I was sore after legs today. Trying to re-incorporate lunges. They are so effective, but I really hate them.

We hate what's good for ourselves, sometimes.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/04/2019:
I understand your hair woes! I have decided i'll keep playing around with mine, but, when it turns more grey, probably just to dye it brown again with box color at home!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/04/2019:
i just realized right now that your February challenge has "ended!" wow did Feb pass by quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 03/04/2019:
i know it's a money thing, but, i will say you look younger with dyed hair. you and everyone.

legcramps on 03/04/2019:
I am going to let my hair gray naturally; I don't really care how other people see me anyways - if they think it makes me look older, that's fine with me. I am only as old as I feel anyways! (Some days, that's pretty old LOL). I have started to see a few strands of grey on top of my head, so I know i'm not far from having to deal with this reality. I really feel okay with it though. I don't know why we feel like we need to change ourselves in order to 'fit' some kind of 'standard'. Standards are boring!

horn_of_plenty on 03/04/2019:
i also have a VERY MINOR amount of gray, the reason for me to start with the dying of my hair...and playing around with that.

i like feeling young, though the expense for highlights is sorta pricey (i do go the cheapest route but it's still an expense)....but like i said, i do like to do certain things with my appearance to feel young and this hair thing helps me a LOT!...so highlights it is until i start to gray in the back...then i'll prob go back to brown for awhile even though i prefer to be blonde it's too harsh on my head to really do that overall, i'm thinking.

Donkey - Saturday Mar 02, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

I am home and it feels good to be back.  This weekend getaway mini-vacation to relax was just what I needed.  I will do this again with Mr. Donkey, probably in the Fall, once the real estate season comes down from the Spring/Summer rush.  It was nice to spend time with my husband just "being", with no agenda or plans, other than 5:30p dinner reservations last night.  (And we didn't even really need them that early in the evening.)

A few observations:

  • I turned off my FitBit notifications, so I was not obligated to get in my "minimum 250 steps an hour".  I usually average around 21,000 steps a day, but on Friday, I had less than 2,000.  I definitely could have done more walking, but chose not to.  Instead, I worked on a puzzle with my husband for 3 hours (standing - ouch!), and then went back to our room to get warm, as it is much colder in Madison, Wisconsin, than it is here in northern Illinois suburbia.
  • My FitBit told me that I burned a little over 1,300 calories being sedative. This was interesting to me.  I realize it's probably not very accurate, but that was interesting to see.  I think that's probably right, maybe a little higher, but not significantly,
  • Very, very hard to be a good guest or a good sport and remain true keto.  The bed-and-breakfast was not keto-friendly (lol), but I enjoyed what I ate (did not have the mini-waffles on the first day nor the white potatoes this morning).
  • A change is nice, and now I am ready to get back to keto.  In fact, came home today and did a bit of keto food prep:  fathead dough pizza for dinner tonight, fat bombs, and sugar-free gummies.  I am preppping flaxseeds tonight in order to make flaxseed crackers tomorrow.  The seeds soak in water and seasonings for 18 hours before being baked.

Today was my first day of heavy weights for upper body.  I am going to take a "before" picture so that I have an "after" picture at the end of the month - or maybe when the 15lb weights get too light for me.  I never take "before" pictures, because I don't want to remember myself THEN, just NOW.  Makes no sense, and then after progress is made, it's like, Wow, I wish I had taken a picture! (DOH!)

I was encouraged to read on one of those keto Facebook pages a post from a woman who gained about 4 pounds but toned up her arms fantastically - I mean, one of those before/after photo shots where you say "WOW".  I just have to be able to wrap my head around higher numbers on the scale.  But really, now it's more about looking in the mirror and liking what I see and feeling good, from inside to out, rather than relying on the scale for feedback.  I'll still weigh in, but it's a different approach.

Part of the reason I wanted to get away was to have time and quiet to think about my future, especially with the prospect of moving in the not-so-far future. I came to a few conclusions:

  • I feel that I have to work, no matter what, for myself.  49 is too young for me to retire.  At least that's how I feel now.  As much as I would like to have all the time to take care of my husband and spend time with him and do things, I need my own thing, and I need to contribute to Social Security (whether it's there for me when I retire or not).  Plus, I have insurance now, and if I move on to something else, I will need to have insurance for myself.  If I can get insurance through my husband or manage Obamacare, then that will give me more flexibility should I need to change employers.
  • Once my husband's income is finally determined, we will sit down and evaluate if we want to save up for a nice downpayment or payoff the second mortgage.
  • We need to get my son re-enlisted and daughter near or out of the house.  My son is taking a little longer than we had thought back in December.  It maybe even longer, now, so I told him he needs to start looking for another job, then, so that he can do something and be out with people.  Daughter has a plan, just needs to execute it when she's ready.  She is waiting for a promotion to full-time at work; once that happens (which should be soon), she can start solidifying her other plans.
  • Husband does not care if we live in a senior community or not.  He says he is ok with staying here longer, but if we move, it needs to be to a warmer climate.
  • Once our son leaves, I need to see how hard or expensive it will become to maintain this property.  That may end up being the biggest determining factor after all.
  • Need to see what happens with my work. If my boss pulls back to let the Associate Attorney take over more, or if he retires, then I need to re-evaluate.

So nothing really confirmed except that I need to keep working and we need to re-evaluate many more times before our direction becomes clearer.  

In the meantime, I need to take care of myself more and not let myself get sucked into all the toxicity around me.

Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/03/2019:
i doubt you only burned 1300...that sounds rather low and is the amount that typically very, VERY sedentary people burn...also, good for you on just relaxing on the weekend. i can't say i'm proud of myself but as of late the past few weekends have been EXTREMELY sedentary over here.

I'm glad you did the before and after photos. I didn't take many photos when i was unhappy with my body (the before) and now i have no comparison photos. i wish i had the proof of the work i put in! but i'm also just glad i reached this point!

although you don't have answers to everything, at least you have given these questionable topics some thought. is your husband the same age as you, or is he a few years older?

Donkey - Thursday Feb 28, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

Logging in from my phone so this will be short.

This afternoon, husband and I are going away to a bed and breakfast for a couple of days of relaxing (for me) and thinking.  I'm not sure this is what my husband has in mind but oh well.  I feel like I need to recharge and center myself, because work is already getting busier, and I will get busier before I get slower...

So staying keto strong will be a challenge,  but hopefully not too stressful for me.  Just have to make the best decisions for myself that I can.  Won't be exercising,  but I've been feeling some"heaviness" (fatigue) in my legs,  so it's time for a rest.  I do plan to walk, if I can but only as a means to relax and decompress. 

So no weigh-in this weekend,  but will be starting with heavier winds when I get back into town on Saturday.  

Going into work an hour earlier to get stuff done.  Was on my bike at 5:02a.  It's harder to get myself out of bed earlier,  but I really do appreciate getting started with my day earlier.  It's a good thing. 

Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 02/28/2019:
I hope you and your Hubby have a wonderful weekend and enjoy staying at the B&B! Have fun!

horn_of_plenty on 02/28/2019:
have fun with your hubby, something relaxing is the best "medicine." i've been feeling similar to how you sound here as of late! i'm glad you are getting out of town for the weekend. where is the B&B? close by?

no matter what, enjoy the time away. and realize you have a lot of options / choices and you can choose whatever you want (with food) and if you cannot find someting, you can go get it... :) ENJOY! :)

Donkey on 03/02/2019:
Madison, Wisconsin is about a 2 hour drive from where I live in the northern suburbs. :)

Donkey - Sunday Feb 24, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

Not feeling so great today.  Still feeling the effects of Friday night (DARN IT), and woke up to my back and left-butt really sore and achy.  Riding my bike this morning didn't help relax the muscles any, so I was going to take Aleve.  But I started with the higher doses of iron pills -- 2 pills on an empty stomach:  BIG MISTAKE.  Felt so sick to my stomach.  So I might take an Aleve later on, once I think my stomach can handle it.  I can tell that something's "off" because I absolutely want NO coffee whatsoever.  I'm also way behind in drinking water -- which is also probably why I'm not feeling good, but IDK if my stomach can handle even THAT.  I'm trying wataer right now, so I may be on my way to feeling better.

My left eye has been bothering me too, so I put in some moisturizing gel in it.  It feels better now, but working that gel into dissolving was unpleasant.   

Gosh I feel like I'm falling apart here today!  But I'm glad that I tried the higher iron dosage today, because I won't do that again.  I'll take the pills at night, so that I can sleep through the nausea, because no way could I go to work feeling like I did this morning.

I hope to do a little keto food prep for the week today.... I don't know if I'll get to it.  

Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/24/2019:
It’s ok to relax...if it makes you feel any better, I’ve had a very slow weekend myself and still feel like I could use a couple more days at home !

silverysparkles on 02/24/2019:
Sorry you aren't feeling well today. I was sure I had written to you earlier but it's not here so I guess I goofed somehow. Iron is a tough pill to take.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/24/2019:
also, it's winter...everything will improve <3

Horn_of_plenty on 02/26/2019:
How are you feeling now? I hope better :)

You can do this, J donk! :)

Good idea to help the eye along before it gets worse? does it feel better??

Don't worry, try to rest this weekend a little extra if you can :)...group outtings lol, never what you expect them to be! :)

Horn_of_plenty on 02/27/2019:
Keep your head up...keep on! :)

Horn_of_plenty on 02/27/2019:
and make sure to rest if you need to!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/27/2019:
in regards to a shooting test for the court officer, not at the entry point. probably during the training once into the program..

i have to improve my cardio so much but i feel if i just try to train, for just under a year, i can reach the minimums...i hope.

otherwise, i'll just stay in the electrical union and continue my own training as i always have. i'd rather not think this way, but, it's so hard to improve right now...however, if i use my vacations and sick days more as a purpose to train and not travel, it can be done :) if i use the sick / vacation days for training, i'd miss far less workouts due to planning problems and busy schedules. so, that's the plan after Paris...when the vacation / sick days come back in April & May. less travel, more effort for physical training...i'll see what kind of dent i can make in this cardio. back to training for the 2 "obstacle" race types of courses involved...well, speed tests i mean.

horn_of_plenty on 02/27/2019:
jdonkey...you must be a busy bee! but not a queen bee! hahahahaha

Donkey - Saturday Feb 23, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

Making this a quick entry this morning.  I plan to update later on today.  I was only OK with today's weigh-in.  I mean, yes, I'm glad that I had a lower number, but for not having a proper dinner last night due to last night's work-related bowling party where they had a million non-keto pizzas, and being more disciplined and not having to deal with so many hormones, I had TRULY hoped to see something like 129.0.

OMG last night's bowling party for work...  I know I can't let this get me down, but it seems like this one event has already totally thrown off my whole weekend.  I desperately need my weekends, and now this.  Stayed up way too late, because we HAD to bowl 3 games.  Didn't get to bed until 11pm.  Woke up late and tired.  My throat is very tight, like I'm getting sick.  Not good.  I am glad that I went, but a fine example of too much of a good thing.  And I did not appreciate there being only pizza.  WTF.  I had a baggie of cheese, lunch meat, and then baby carrots, so I did eat something, but that's not really a dinner.  *One thing I learned though is that for whatever reason, Queen Bee *really* has it out for Associate Attorney.  I do NOT know what her problem is but it's like she never misses an opportunity to get out her stinger.

This afternoon, Mr. Donkey and I are going to the movies with his veterans group.  It is free for us, but it's not a movie I really wanted to see.  I seem not to enjoy many movies any more.  I don't have the attention, and I start taking apart dialog, camera shots, lighting -- rather than experiencing the movie overall.  But maybe I'll get a nice nap.  Or maybe I will end up enjoying the movie. It's about a disabled veteran played by Bryan Cranston (from Breaking Bad).  But then there's the overwhelming smell of popcorn to deal with...

Ya know, I feel like I owe a HUGE apology to my fellow DD'ers who have struggled, because I am really feeling and living it right now.  I feel like maintenance is more of a struggle than the actual weight loss!

EVENING EDIT:  I promised I would update again, so here I am.  The movie was actually a good time, and my husband really liked it, so that made me double-happy.  In fact, I think just sitting and relaxing for 2 hours was MOST helpful for me.  I went into the movie feeling drained, emotional, anxious.  I came out feeling rested, happy, and relaxed -- even though I didn't fall asleep at all!

Dinner was keto except for the 1/2 banana that my daughter didn't eat because it was "too brown" (not really).  Because today is my relax day, I had 2 dark chocolate squares (about 130 calories) and about a dozen almonds.  Now I am going to do my upper body workout and then get ready for bed.  (I'll start the heavier weights in March - ready to see some poppin' muscles!)

The kids just left to go get frozen yogurt, so I'm going to sign off and get upstairs, started on my workout, so that I don't have to be around it.

ADDITIONAL EVENING EDIT:  Just wanted to add that my left butt is so sore from overusing it at bowling last night - enough to the point where sitting down becomes a slight challenge, LOL...

Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

silverysparkles on 02/23/2019:
I'm having the same problem with movies and books. Too many are just not holding my interest but I will say that I no longer force myself to deal with them. At home that works fine but going to a theater is different because that is more like an outing so it does change things. I do notice that I am more choosy with my time lately. I don't seem to want to waste any of it on things I'm not really interested in.

Donkey on 02/23/2019:
I confess that this movie (The Upside) had enough humor and storyline to hold my interest. I enjoyed it, and of course, my husband loved it :)

Horn_of_plenty on 02/23/2019:
Well, I guess Queen B isn't the easiest to work with lol! Aren't you glad you aren't the associate attorney. I'm sure you can figure out a reason why she doens't like him...

I'm glad you brought some food with you to bowling. I gotta tell you, whenever going to group events or even get togethers (like with my cousins last week), it's like you can always plan to be out later than you would have liked. Me and you, who like our alone time and time away from crowds, i understand why we like to leave and just get back to our home lives. but, it's great you went!

Donkey on 02/23/2019:
I truly am glad that I went. The title company is taking our crew out for a Japanese steak experience next Friday, but I will be out of town with my husband, relaxing, destressing, and reconnecting. I'm so thankful for that. The restaurant they are going to really rushes diners on Friday and Saturday to get people in and out as fast as possible -- understandable, but something I really *hate* in ANY eating experience.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/23/2019:
Keto recipes for the most part aren't low calories. I tried your bread today and loved it, but it's pretty high calorie from the size (the 90 cal bread!). It's 350 cals which equals the cals or is more than the cals of some bagels. so, it's easy to really go over calories for daily allotments while doing keto. but taste is good for all things keto i'd say due to all the nice butter and fats!

and for instance the chocolate things i made, the pb cups, they have a lot of cals since they are simply made with chocolate, peanut butter, and coconut oil. all such heavy stuff. but the good thing is they don't rocket your blood sugars.

i find though, in the mornings, that i prefer some real sugar these days at work. that i need it to get me going...so i may start experimenting with some other items. just gotta think what i want to make...

i know what you mean about movies. i don't like all genres. action = no way jose! really i just like the documentaries, some comedies, and romance.

i have even, last summer, stopped a movie close to the end bc it was so BORING! lol.

when i used to watch movies with ricky at his apt, we'd take breaks every 30min-1hour so we didn't have to sit still for too long! lol

Donkey on 02/23/2019:
It's not "90 calorie" bread - it's "90 minute" bread. If I were to have that, it would be the only thing I have for breakfast, outside of my coffee w/creamer. With keto foods, portions are everything. The thought is that the fat fills you up and keeps you fuller for longer - hence you eat less. But I read people on those Keto Facebook pages that have a full cup of "Bulletproof Coffee" (which has nearly 600 calories per cup (!) along with a full breakfast -- uh, that's NOT how you do keto, folks.

I completely get wanting to have real sugar. I really do. Today, on the drive to the theater, I was thinking how really addicted I am to sugar.

Donkey on 02/23/2019:
Sorry - I meant to say "90 second" bread recipe - not 90 minutes.

I have a recipe for flaxseed crackers that I REALLY want to make soon - sounds yummy for when I want something crunchy.

horn_of_plenty on 02/23/2019:
Yes yes that was my typo I meant the 90 second lol lol ... fat does fill .... today has been a snacking day over here ;)

horn_of_plenty on 02/23/2019:
Next on my list is to make donuts :) I have the molds.

Donkey on 02/23/2019:
Can't wait to read your review. I sincerely mean that!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/23/2019:
enjoy your workout...! i'm glad you have a plan for continued weights in March, def a great idea!

Donkey - Thursday Feb 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Wednesday was a HUGE DRAMA day and did not have time to log in, unfortunately.  Hey, it was either log in or do upper body weight training, and I'm proud to say that I did my weight training!  I'm kind of sacrificing my lower body weight training by logging in now, but I'll still get it in tonight.

Work drama:  Queen Bee called Associate Attorney an ass in front of everyone, and that pissed off Nice Lady in a BIG way.  THAT won't be forgotten for a long time, I tell you....  Nice Lady is too nice to say anything about it, but when she's mad at you, you KNOW you did something wrong.  And I agree -- Queen Bee was way out of line on her comment -- on so many levels.

In addition to this drama, I had actual drama relating to my work -- scheduling real estate closings and trying to get everyone ready for that is not as easy as one might think -- and on top of that, I had an unexpected 2-hour software training session PLUS had to leave early for my doctor's appointment!  Yesterday was NOT a quiet day for me.

So the doctor tells me that I'm pretty anemic, so I have an appointment to get an ultrasound and then an appointment with a GI doctor, to see if I need to get scoped.  I'm either losing too much blood during TOM (time of month) or I'm losing blood through my GI tract and just haven't noticed.  This could  probably explain why I feel drained a lot of the time, even with lots of food and good sleep.  I wonder if this has to do with that "heavy leg" feeling too.  I'm not sure if it relates to having thinning hair, but I guess that's why my nails continue to split even after taking biotin, collagen, etc.  I'm pretty sure the problem is uterine and not GI related but I guess that's what the tests will determine.  In the meantime, I'll be taking even more iron to try get my levels up to where they belong.

Last night I did upper body weight training, and I've decided to move up to my next higher dumbbells which are 15 lbs.  I probably won't be able to do many reps, but that's how lifting heavier works. I just have to tell myself that this is OK, that significant work is still being done, even if it's not a certain "set" number I have in my brain.  Once the 15 lbs becomes "too easy", then I can re-evaluate.  I am not sure I want to buy anything heavier than that, but I definitely have time to think about that, because using 15 lbs dumbbells will definitely be a challenge for these noodle arms of mine.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/22/2019:
i just deleted my entire comment....will write it, AGAIN, at work.!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/22/2019:
i'm glad you went to the dr appt for a physical. I'm sure some of the dragging feeling is due to the anemia. I have a coworker with genetic issues affecting her being very anemic for life she's only 37. she doens't like to take iron because it impedes her digestion / elmination. one thing i notice is she does have hair loss and she's only 37 :( . there are prob things she can do to help it, but she's a very busy single mom and it's not her first priority i guess...

Horn_of_plenty on 02/22/2019:
but my fingers are crossed for you and i'm thinking warm thoughts. I def think you should look into the situation as you are further so that you can feel better.

i also am loving your switch to the higher dumbells. you can still do a 3rd set of your routine with the lower weights and do it slower to work on form and the slower pace will also make it more difficult and challenging, so it's another way to work things, if you still have that lighter set you can still make use of them right now...

i agree, the only wait to get better and improve is to remember you to push yourself at the next level. i also am moving up in weights for one of my lighter weights exercises. i'll write more of it later.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/22/2019:
i'm glad you got the weights in the other night instead of wasting time here and not getting a workout in.

and nice to hear Q bee's attitude bit her in the a$$$$$.

legcramps on 02/22/2019:
How unprofessional of Queen B! Really showing her true colors, isn't she?! Around here, you wouldn't get away with calling people names like that, that's bordering on harassment.

Very cool that you are moving up to the 15lb dumbbells! Progress! Also very impressed with your determination to keep going even though you weren't feeling like you were getting what you needed out of lifting heavier. Keep at it! Those results are coming!

Donkey - Wednesday Feb 20, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

A little more snow today, and then rain or freezing rain later on.  I am leaving work early today to go to the doctor's for a follow-up appointment, to go over my blood test results.  The vitamin supplements I'm taking have already made a huge difference - at least in how I feel - but if she thinks I need prescription strength stuff, then OK... at least for a while.  I didn't see anything else in the blood test results that raised red flags to me -- like thyroid issues, blood sugar, etc.  But we'll see what she says.

Tonight is upper body workout.  I've been wanting to work my abs every night, but on nights that I don't do weights, I forget to work the abs.  I did some quick reading on what it takes - eating wise - to get that really lean appearance.  It's not really practical for where I'm at in life right now.  Would like to see more "pop" in my arm muscles though.  I guess that would mean serious higher weights.

Work continues to be drama, especially since we're slow right now, so there's time for whispers and stuff.  However, I am getting a better sense of the dynamics of certain co-workers....  Although I do not think I am wrong in certain assessments, I now understand why certain things are the way they are, so if that's what it takes to make people run efficiently, then so be it.  That is to say, we all have our vices.  I can only change me --- and I'm not even sure I can do that much to change myself, LOL.  I am a crusty ol' Donkey, after all, stubborn and ornery.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/20/2019:
I do agree with your husband regarding his comment on being more agile below. it's def easier to move "less weight" than a bulky body (bulked up heavier body).

Donkey on 02/21/2019:
I spoke to my son about this again, and I think it had a positive impact.

horn_of_plenty on 02/20/2019:
regarding abs, you don't need to do too much on that end to keep a physique / shape...i'll comment more if you ask me...back to work!

horn_of_plenty on 02/20/2019:
basically with abs, i've learned less is more. how so? because i used to do a lot more abs exercises than i do now. i do two types now: planks and situps. that's it. 3 sets of each. Situps i work hard at, since they are on the court officer test. but planks i do usually at the very end and it is what it is. i usually get over a minute of a plank. not too much more for each time i hold. sometimes i just do one good plank for over a minute, then take minimal rests and keep going into it until muscle exhaustion.

my abs are better than they were any other year, and i do less for them.

abs were never my strong suit. but, as i keep pushing my ability with the situps and as i keep progressing in lunges and other leg work and keep walking with cardio, my abs are progressing ANYWAYS! so, i learned that less is more.

and the less fat you have, the more you see the abs. yeah, it's true they are made in the kitchen.

at work i don't usually sit with great posture. i feel if i did, my abs would be even better, except, i would rather sit comfortably. i do realize also i do not stand well on public transportation or sit well as the bus and train seats are sorta uncomfortable for short people...so right now i just leave it alone and work on my abs at home, and try to walk with good posture overall.

Donkey on 02/21/2019:
A minute plank is very impressive! I think I was able to do about 15 seconds before my back started hurting.

I thought about what your wrote, about abs being made in the kitchen.... and I think I like food too much to be THAT disciplined for chiseled abs. Wah wah!

legcramps on 02/20/2019:
Wouldn't we all love us some six-pack abs?! For me, it's a pipe dream. I'd have to do ALL the cardio and eat NONE of the carbs. LOL, no thanks.

But my core is STRONG. It's amazing how strong it is. A while back I took part in a plank challenge, it was a 30 day challenge, and you had to work your way up to a plank-off on the last day - basically holding the position for as long as possible. I lasted 5 minutes! It was amazing, and I learned something that day... I AM Strong. I might not always look or feel strong, but there it is. The proof.

Donkey on 02/21/2019:

So I will keep on working the abs, but I do not think that I want to be that disciplined with eating to get that kind of definition.

horn_of_plenty on 02/21/2019:
wow a 5 min plank! i can only do like 1.5 minutes!

Donkey on 02/21/2019:
I know, right? Isn't legcramps AMAZING????

Horn_of_plenty on 02/21/2019:
where's everyone!? only person who journaled today was me!

Donkey on 02/21/2019:
LOL, my afternoon doctor's appointment kind of put everything out of whack. My whole routine was off last night. And I was too busy at work today to log in at work!

legcramps on 02/22/2019:
LOL, I should have been more clear - I was able to pull that off during a 30 day plank challenge; there's no way I could hold a 5 minute plank today. I haven't even done a plank in...I don't even know. Maybe i'll give it a try over the weekend and see how long I can last!

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