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Donkey - Sunday May 05, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Managed stress well yesterday.  Got a lot done as far as decluttering, for the cleaning lady on Monday.  I hope to get more clearing done today, so that I don't have to do anything last minute on Monday, as Monday morning will be rushed and stressful as well.  I just can't win this stress battle....

Have to get through lunch with my mother in law, her brother, his wife (who is very judgmental, but talks a lot so at least I won't have to do much of that), my husband, and my daughter.  Food and cake.... *sigh*  I'm not sure you have any idea how hard this is.

Then decluttering, cleaning... I hope to get a walk in today, maybe with my daughter - that would be so nice. 

Monday morning, at 8am, I have an appointment in another town, about 30 minutes away, to discuss health insurance options.  After getting flooded with that information, I have to rush home and finish getting ready for work, rush to work, dive into a cesspool of stress over there.... but hopefully come home to a cleaner house. 

Well, my mother in law just decided to make this all more stressful by asking us to stop at Walmart before we pick her up to get her a dozen cookies for a meeting she has tomorrow.  Great. 

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/05/2019:
One question first: how do i know which CBD oil to buy????i really want to get in on this, as it's sold to relieve things that i am in need of paying attention to (stress, anxiety, inflammation)...which one do you use and how do you know it is "genuine" and works?

Donkey on 05/07/2019:
You want to be sure you get a type that is safe to eat. There are many CBD products that are topical only -- and they work too, but you can't eat them.

Here, many vape shops sell CBD drops, which is the way I probably should have gone. Instead, I did a Google, gave my husband a list of 4, and he ordered. This was originally supposed to be for his pain, but he didn't stick with it.

I have a lower concentration, 300mg I think, and use 5 out of the 8 drops per recommended serving. It might be psychological, but I swear that I can really tell when I don't take the drops.

PS also helpful to take a night for sleeping.


BearCountryGG on 05/05/2019:
Are your shoulders up around your ears???? That is major stress......!


BearCountryGG on 05/05/2019:
If the things are not life threatening to anyone then maybe they don't deserve to cause that much stress.

Donkey on 05/07/2019:
THAT is solid advice. Thank you!


Horn_of_plenty on 05/05/2019:
I agree with BCGG's second comment very much ;)


Horn_of_plenty on 05/07/2019:
yesterday i didn't go out for lunch. i don't regret it, but, it's at least a half mile of walking not done and not healthy. today i'll make up and go out!



Donkey - Saturday May 04, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Glad to see the scale move down, even if I'm in maintenance mode.

Wow, yesterday the anxiety was just incredible as I was walking into the office. I realized what it was:  I forgot to take the CBD drops that I usually take to start my day.  Maybe it's psychological, but I find that on days that I take the drops, I walk into the office fine.  When I forget, I walk into the office feeling edgy.  So in spite of feeling edgy in the morning, I think I got through it pretty good.  Male Co-Worker and I have been discussing the stressful workload, as I mentioned earlier this week.  Even though he's doing the keto diet and trying to lose weight, his big struggle is with his high blood pressure - we're in a world dominated by numbers, aren't we? So that's what he's been focusing on trying to control this week.  He says he just has to walk away, let it go, take one step at a time.  So I've been trying to apply that mindset to my own work as well:  one file at a time, one phone call at a time...  

Too much of my life is being consumed with stress.  

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 05/04/2019:
WEll...you can only do one file at a time so that is a great way to look at it. Unfortunately stress doesn't help...yet we all still do it.......life is so fast paced now....I listened to a guy the other day that said while we have automatic washers and dryers now...we work more at laundry and it doesn't make sense...but...in the day of wringer washers....we wore clothes more times before putting them in the wash...so the automation just made us more work.....we are doing it to ourselves...and it is sad.....just remember to breathe..and think about how little importance it will all be a year from now....


Horn_of_plenty on 05/05/2019:
everyone does know that taking breaks is good for you at the office ;) otherwise, things just start to get muddy in your brain !..


Horn_of_plenty on 05/05/2019:
lol i wish weight did this "what goes up must come down" ...why can't weight be like gravity right!?

i'm also waiting for my weight to come down. i gained around 3lb over the winter.

i could be so wrong,but at a first glance i am thinking keto and blood pressure may be a hard thing to mix because i'm thinking that the meats and everything can contribute to high blood pressure, but someone would have to actually google this to see if my hypothesis is true..



Donkey - Friday May 03, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Aside from the stress at work,  keeping me inactive,  keeping ne at work waaaaay too long every day,  I've been doing much better with food these past 2 or 3 days.  I seem to have a handle on the evening anxiety... or at least I've been strong enough to avert disaster as a result of feeling anxious. 

Still keeping up with the push-ups, bike riding too...  lunch time walking has disappeared,  due to rainy weather and too much work to do!  This is bad!  This is wrong!  I deserve a lunch break!  But if I take one,  I come back to a windfall of emails and phone messages!  

Tonight is chair yoga and date night.  I'd like to relax this weekend but it will be very stressful with picking up the house for the cleaning lady on Monday  and then lunch with in-laws at a restaurant with birthday cake...  very stressful. 

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 05/03/2019:
I vote that you do take that lunch break...then you will be ready to get back to work when it's over....breaks are needed.


BearCountryGG on 05/03/2019:
I remember when i was working in a drug store once that I didn't want to take my breaks...and another employee told me that I needed to take my break because I was messing it up for other employees...so I started taking them....it made sense.

Donkey on 05/04/2019:
Really GOOD point -- I MUST remember this!


horn_of_plenty on 05/03/2019:
i will comment more, but, it's up to YOU to choose your limits and nobody is going to do it for you - make sure to take your breaks. i am sure the others are doing so! take care of yourself and set limits.

Donkey on 05/04/2019:
YES -- and the ironic thing is that taking breaks makes me work better, because I can clear my mind and refocus when I come back.


horn_of_plenty on 05/03/2019:
you can relieve some of the work stress by taking your breaks. perhaps if you respond to some emails the next morning it will be ok?

Donkey on 05/04/2019:
The emails would just keep surmounting... It's a never-ending battle.

I'm dreading the mess I'll come back to after we return from Texas (for my son's graduation from boot camp!).



Donkey - Thursday May 02, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Oh my... so busy, so tired -- it's starting to affect my brain.  I forgot to wear my Fitbit to bed, after charging it, so I missed tracking my sleep.  Then, this morning, I was 16 minutes into my workout before I realized I hadn't set up the Fitbit to track my steps.  So I've lost 16 minutes worth of steps. 

Yesterday,  I was so busy I missed 5 hours of getting in a minimum of 250 steps per hour.   What does that mean?  That means I was glued to my chair,  working on emails and correspondences.  NOT GOOD. 

And all of this meant that we didn't eat dinner until almost 7p.  Way, far away from an ideal work-life balance.

Today should be better for work.  The boss is out of the office all day.

Still doing push-ups.   No weights though... no time!

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 05/02/2019:
Hope you have been having a good day.


Horn_of_plenty on 05/03/2019:
sorry you feel so busy at the moment! luckily, it is FRIDAY!

remember that it's how you move, your real actions that are affecting your fitness rather than forgetting to wear a fitbit or setting it up to track your steps. But go you! because you DID do the steps and workout! don't be hard on yourself, we all forget things here and there! look at all those people who could care less about wearing a fitbit or tracking, let alone even exercising! you are doing these things, so be so let a brain fart go!

at work i see that getting up from your desk is important, so, perhaps you can also set a timer on your phone or something each hour to go off or whenver you want to get up, set the timer....that IS important, yes.

good job on your pushups. it's ok to skip out on weights here and there, as long as most weeks are routine.

i am headed back to working out soon, starting back up tomorrow at the gym.

keep on, look at the positives that you've done well. it's ok to critique but look how successful you are as well!

Donkey on 05/03/2019:
Ok, I'll try to balance my entries with the positives as well :)



Donkey - Tuesday Apr 30, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Work was insanely busy yesterday.  I've slipped into a pattern of working until 6p.  Not good.

Last night, I was so happy to have completed my push-ups challenge,  until this morning, when I realized that April has one more day... Okay, I can do this.

Today is my follow-up ultrasound, so I'm drinking water like crazy to go in with a full bladder.  All of these medical tests involve some degree of painful prep.

Food continues to be a struggle and an issue.  This is why I'm not losing. This is why I'm gaining weight.  I just can't seem to find a keto balance.  This sounds like a project for the month of May!

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

legcramps on 04/30/2019:
Nice work on the pushups challenge! Yes, you CAN do this. It sounds like you've seen some positive change with this challenge - will you do another one like it for May?

Donkey on 05/02/2019:
Yes! My plan is to continue with the push-ups!


horn_of_plenty on 04/30/2019:
I recommend you try to do something so you are more satisfied with meals and snacks. One recommendation is to have a tea in the afternoon at work (herbal) with fruit as a filling snack. I think you need more volume. When I eat high volume meals I still get hungry later but I get satisfied easier at the next meal if the previous one I had was high volume - like a big lunch and moderate dinner. Have more liquids . Herbal teas. Fruit. Bring veggies to have in addition again to your lunches. When I feel myself struggling I try to go back to basics with food.

Donkey on 05/02/2019:
Keto doesn't allow fruit except 1/2 cup of berries, only occasionally.... this is a problem, I know. I'm trying to figure out what's right for me.



Donkey - Saturday Apr 27, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

My weight keeps going up.  Here's a switch:  my plain scale has me gaining a pound, but my fancy hi-tech scale has me losing a little bit.  I could think of several reasons for the gain, but I'm not sure it matters.  I'm rather surprised to see the increase, though, because yesterday, I could not eat my lunch.  I was almost sick to my stomach after 2 bites - to the point of deciding whether to run to the bathroom, or just sit and focus on keeping the food down.  I ended up having a protein bar later on.

When Mr. Donkey and I went out to eat last Saturday, the ladies sitting in the booth behind me were talking about how one of them had lost a lot of weight.  I couldn't hear a lot of what they were saying, but it sounded to me like she took low-carb approach.  Anyway, the lady said that she only weighs herself on the first Monday of every month, to make sure she's doing OK.  I thought that was a really good idea.  

Although we are expecting 6-8 inches of snow (15-21 cm) tonight, the weather was warm enough earlier in the week that I pulled out some of my summer bottoms.  I have to confess that initially, I was a bit disappointed that they didn't fit loosely.  That is to say, the pants and capris fit perfectly.  So this means that I did not lose any weight over the winter.  But it also means that I did not gain any weight either.  I should overcome my negative self and consider this a victory.

Still hanging in there with my push-up challenge. I have to say, it's paying off.  I can see visible improvements in my upper arms.  The other night, I caught a glimpse of my upper back, and that's coming along nicely too.

Regarding tonight's snow:  It's being forecasted that this will be the thick, heavy "heart attack" snow, so I fully intend to keep up with shoveling as much as possible.  This means great exercise ahead!  Of course, if it decides to just rain instead, that would be A-OK with me (but I'm pretty sure that we're too far north in the system for that to happen).

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/30/2019:
Yeah seems spring hasn’t come officially to New York either !!! And also hasn’t arrived fully in Paris ! It’s been so chilly and earlier in the week it rained for a couple days. Mostly though the rain has stayed at bay but it’s so windy and chilly!

Like you my weight has gone up a hair and I’m also wanting to lose a little by summer just for my clothes to fit a little better...maintenance is all about knowing when to dial it back a notch - that’s how I approach it.



Donkey - Friday Apr 26, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Did my pushups, weights.  Food was ok, but relying on keto gingerbread after dinner to hold off any other eating at night.  Not sure if that's a good thing or not...

 

You may recall earlier this year, that I posted about this being a year of "self-remodeling", which was inspired by a lady in our office building having weight loss surgery.  My intention with this inspiration was to  focus on maintenance and weight training.

Saw this lady ^ yesterday after not seeing her for a while.  Wow!  She's managed to tighten up quite a bit!  Maybe she's wearing Spanx, but she didn't mention it, which she is the type who would disclose everything.  I'm not going to compare her remodeling with my mine,  but wow!   Actually, I'm not sure how to use the feelings I am having about seeing her progress.  

 

Queen Bee stopped by the office yesterday.   She's still losing weight.  Good for her!  

 

I won't be able to do anything about health insurance until May.  So I will have a gap in overage in June.  Very frustrating.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/27/2019:
Keto gingerbread sounds good to me ;)

At least you are aware and have coverage set up - overlapping is def annoying !



Donkey - Wednesday Apr 24, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

So... I'm losing my health insurance at the end of May.  The official story is that the premiums have become too expensive for my boss to renew the office plan, but my husband thinks that the real story is that the boss is taking his next step towards retirement. 

I hope to meet with an insurance lady soon to discuss enrolling in Obamacare for myself and possibly my daughter.   I think my husband should stick with his COBRA as long as he can,  even though the monthly payment is quite high,  but that's just my opinion...  because he has a lot of health issues & requires long term care. 

I'm glad that at least,  whatever happens,  I will be able to get in my follow up ultrasound next week and my follow up blood work on May 22nd.

 

Still working on discerning between investing $ on the yoga 10-class card (a temporary commitment) or joining a gym with the intention of getting a trainer to help with weights goals.  The gym membership is a longer term commitment.  

I need to get a handle on our budget.  This is getting out of control. 

Did my pushups last night.  Eating went well too. 

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/24/2019:
If your boss retires will the company close? Does he plan on selling the business?

Donkey on 04/25/2019:
I'm not sure. Part of the plan was that Associate Attorney would take over the running of the practice... possibly buying it, but I don't think he'll ever have the money to do that.

The law firm is one part of the boss's company. There's a mortgage company and a real estate agent branch. Not sure if those would stay open too or what.

I know that the son in law is being groomed to run the overall company, but he can't run the law firm because he's not an attorney.


legcramps on 04/24/2019:
Oh, that really sucks about losing your health insurance. That is the main reason you stay at this job, isn't it? Does that open up some opportunity to look elsewhere then?

Donkey on 04/25/2019:
Ha ha ha! You are so right!

My husband's comments, when I told him, was, first, "OMG" and the second comment was, "quit".

But you're right. Essentially, this change would release me from feeling obligated to stay. That is definitely something to think about.


Horn_of_plenty on 04/25/2019:
In terms of the health insurance stuff at top of your entry, i have to agree with your husband 100%.

I think you should look into ObamaCare just to see if it could work for your hubby, but i'm sure you are right that the Cobra is a better bet...

Personally if i were you, i'd try the yoga to see what it's about. Then, later when yoga is done, I'd perhaps do the gym with trainer. Get your yoga out of the way.

actually, first try the class free, before you by the yoga card if possible. to make sure you like it and want 10 more classes.

Donkey on 04/25/2019:
Hoping to meet with the insurance lady soon! Calling today for an appointment.

Ok, I will make my first step attending a free yoga session... Oh boy... scary!


horn_of_plenty on 04/25/2019:
NEW EXPERIENCES are so good for you...remember to keep low expectations for yoga and go in there knowing it will be something new!!!! this is good for you!



Donkey - Tuesday Apr 23, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Sleep was not good Sunday night, so Monday morning was definitely a challenge.   In spite of the lack of sleep,  I did well - very well - with eating.   

I found a yoga studio that has what I think I'm looking for.  The first class would be free,  so I can try it out.  Then,  I can buy a 10- Class ticket for $70.  (Ouch)  The classes I can attend are all a variation of "Let Go", which is stretching and relaxing and decompressing from tension and stress.  Weeknight and weekend classes.  

Keeping up with pushups.  Last night was weights.  Used lighter weights,  higher reps,  and slow.  

Work was not very busy because of the holiday weekend.  Not good for business,  I know,  but good for me, at least in the short run. 

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/23/2019:
The yoga classes sound great!!! Maybe a little pricey in the short run but you may just be able to do them on your own when they are done. My daughter in law has a couple of serious debilitating problems and she takes water aerobics and loves it...they are $6.00 a session and she feels they are totally worth it because of how good she feels......it is nice that you have the option...sounds promising.


horn_of_plenty on 04/23/2019:
all sounds fabulous ms. donkey!!!!

the 10 class card doesn't sound too bad when you break it down to $7 per class!

and class times and days sound reasonable too!

your weights style is good with the slower and lighter but more reps. as long as you do it, you'll grow lean muscle. just the reps...the pattern....the commitment...the practice will only cause good things for you! (in support of your actions)

like you, i'm looking for reasonable routines that i can do and stick with. i have a plan set up to put in place for June starting with 2-3x per week cardio routine. it will be about 30min and i want to be able to do it an very close playground outside my bldg. i'm gonig to a friend, reserve Marine, who will give me a 30min or so routine to practice. i'll do it for one month 2-3x per week, then head back to him for a slightly new routine. i will offer him $100 per hour to work with me each month. ;)


legcramps on 04/23/2019:
$70 for 10 classes is a deal around here; a lot of the times they charge $100-$120 for the same ten classes! I think you will really enjoy the yoga if you open yourself up to it.

I agree that it would likely be beneficial for you to seek the advice of a personal trainer with regards to your weights routine. I have coached people who did not think they were capable of pressing more than 10 lb dumbbells. They would shake their head at me if I suggested trying 15 lbs, and tell me they 'can't lift that weight'. Lots of times, it's all in our minds - we limit ourselves based on what we think we cannot do.

Example - I recently tried to flip a tire that was probably well over 400 lbs. The first time I tried, I walked up to it thinking 'no way', and barely moved the tire at all. That happened about a dozen times. BF started talking me through it, telling me I could do it whether I thought I could or not. He showed me how he squatted, how he drove the weight up through his legs, and how he used his upper body to flip the tire over. I tried again - a dozen more times I was able to lift the tire slightly up above the ground, maybe three inches, using BF's advice and listening to him tell me I could do it. Finally, I started to believe him. And then, on something like my 30th try, I did it. I flipped a tire that weighs over 400 lbs. And then I did it again. And a third time. And that third time? I was like 'huh, now that I know I can do it, it's a lot easier'.

The moral of my long story is that, with a personal trainer, you can be pushed to another level. You will break through the barriers you've placed in your head, telling you 'I can't lift anything heavier, it's too hard'. HERE is where you'll see those results you're looking for. It's about constantly showing up, letting someone that KNOWS tell you that you can do it, and then just DOING IT because you believe it too.

Sorry about the long story, but i'm pretty passionate about that stuff :) :)



Donkey - Sunday Apr 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Happy Easter - may peace be with you!  And it's a beautiful day here (FINALLY) in Chicagoland.  Wow, this has been a long time coming!  I'm actually wearing shorts today, it got to be so warm.  No worries, though, we will have cooler temperatures and rain starting Tuesday.  Back to typical Chicago blah.

We went to Male Co-Worker's church.  It was very interesting.  A nice building that was not too small, and yet still had an intimate feeling, which I liked.  Lots of music at the beginning - 4 songs!  The sound system was a little too loud, so that was rather painful, but with my fingers covering my ears, then I could enjoy the music much more.  Loved songs 3 and 1.  Song 2 was good, song 4 was a good thing it was the last song.  The sermon was good.  I would say it was a B+ sermon with some A+ points.  It felt a little rushed, but I wonder if that's because we were short on time (had to finish so that there could be some time before 2nd service started) or if because he was so worked up that it just poured forward.  What really made my day was when it was announced that this was the first time that they were able to have a 2nd service, so there was a service at 9:30a - which we went to - and then one at 11am.  

I was way out of my comfort zone with the fellowship though.  As soon as we got out of the car, there were 4 people right on top of us, welcoming us, happy Easter, what a beautiful day... yeah, can we just get into the building, please?  And then lots of people stopping by, wanting to shake my hand (gross) and welcoming us AGAIN.  And touching my husband!  Do NOT touch my husband!  He is inflamed and in pain!  Do not touch his shoulder, do not touch his back, do not try to shake his hands -- they are sore!  That whole part made me feel VERY uncomfortable.  

I liked the experience enough to maybe check out what a regular service was like, but if that fellowship stuff is typical - which I think it is, because most Bible / evangelical  churches that I've been to are like that - then I'm gonna have to pass.  I wonder if they even realize how off-putting that is to people.

Then we went to brunch.  I had a 3-egg omlette with vegetables and feta cheese and fresh fruit.  I ate the whole thing, as by 11:30a, we were all hungry.

Came home, finished laundry, did some computer stuff, and then went for a walk with my daughter.  Lovely!   

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
Attending new churches is usually quite interesting...they are so alike yet so different. I also am not into touching strangers.....family is enough....LOL


Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
wowwww shorts huh!? we had a nice day here as well and sunny :) 60's :)

Well, i'm glad you experienced a different service and at a new church. I am sorry that they were so touchy-feely!

i am sure they don't realize how off-putting it is or they wouldn't do it? or maybe it was due to Easter and more crowds and more people around? but moreso, it's probably how they always are?

your day sounds really good! i am especially glad to hear that you were able to enjoy some sunshine with your daughter! it is so healthy to get outside and move. i even did the same myself today :) keep on, i'm proud of you!


innerpeace on 04/22/2019:
Shorts...jealous! Yes, I agree with you. Hands off! I don't like that either. It is always nice to experience new churches.



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