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Donkey - Wednesday Sep 29, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 133.0

Discomfort causes change.  I am not uncomfortable enough to make big changes in my life, at least right now.  Also, making big changes takes courage, and self-esteem to do this, and this is where I'm sadly lacking.  Several years ago, I was fired from a job.  I won't go into specifics, but suffice it to say that it was a HUGE drama, damaged me very badly.  It had taken me a long time to rebuild myself to become employable again.  It's not so much that I feel that I owe my Boss a debt to stay, because he had enough faith in me to hire me after all of that trauma, but more so that I don't want to revisit this previous trauma, even though it's completely different circumstances. 

I think that's why I wish my Boss would cut back, so that I could cut back too and exit gracefully, or maybe stay part-time for a few hours a week, to pick up the slack.

I mentioned to Mistakes Girl yesterday, about this wanting to "cut back" at the office, go to part-time, and she said that she would quit if I did that.  Ha ha ha...  Well, I feel the same way about her, if she were to quit, which, if she gets pregnant again, will happen. (Even if she's out for 9 months, because of her high-risk status, it would be a lengthy absence, so pretty much the same thing as quitting.)

Anyway, thank you so much for listening and holding my hand through this part of my journey, which isn't really diet related at all.  I think what I'm going to try is to make changes in other areas of my life that are smaller and positive (or less risky).  For example, figuring out my yoga situation, or scheduling the personal trainer.  A new hair color? 

Woke up very early today (4:24am) and got up.  Had a very good lower body weight session, but took it a little easier on the cardio.  Yep, I think I'm good with that.  

Did OK with eating. I stayed late at work - SO BUSY - and got REALLY hungry. It was SO HARD not to go downstairs into the kitchenette to grab some nuts, but I resisted and had a diet Coke instead.  Came home far too hungry and had several bites of foods that I might otherwise be stronger to resist:  French fries (maybe 10?) and onion rings.  But I had a salad with my sandwich, which I cut into thirds and ate 1/3 of it.

After weight training last night, though, I did drink a protein shake.  I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do, but it did help settle me.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/29/2021:
I think you will know when it's time to make the change.

Donkey on 09/30/2021:
Yes, I've come to this conclusion as well. I just have to be patient with myself, and come to peace with this.

I'm my own worst critic.

horn_of_plenty on 09/30/2021:
I think Bear's comment is the best way to put any advice or comments.

If you choose to stay which is your decision, your wish that your boss will do this or that is out of your control - so just be open to knowing things will keep changing - but you will keep receiving a paycheck. that doesn't seem to be changing for many, many months (fingers crossed)

i like your hair color the current dark way.

protein shake is good after workout. i can't do late shakes at night, i'll pee all night lol.

sounds like you are doing good with eating! good idea to cut sandwich for multiple meals. i like this approach a lot.

Donkey on 09/30/2021:
A whole Italian beef sandwich (or pretty much any take-out sandwich) is way too heavy for 1 sitting. So I cut it up into thirds or fourths, and then supplement the section with fruits and vegetables.

Following this example, an Arby's Reuben sandwich will last me 4 meals.

Donkey - Tuesday Sep 28, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 133.0

I am not ready to change because not enough around me has changed, to make me want to change for myself.  Really, really sad. That is not being pro-active in my life.  That is not being the master of my donkey destiny.  That is not taking life by the reins.  That is Donkey, stuck in a stable, until she is led to a new pasture or hooked up to a new wagon.  That is living a passive life, waiting for changes to come to me.

Yesterday was so busy at work.  I missed my morning meditation, and I mean, I *really* missed it.  I kept thinking how nice it would be to take a time-out to breathe and stretch, but if I could only finish "one more thing", then maybe I'd get a chance.  The problem is that there were like a hundred "one more thing's" to take care of.  This busy-ness had nothing to do with me being gone, either.  It was a busy, busy day anyway, and it's going to be a busy, busy week.  And by the number of new contracts coming in, October is going to be busy-busy too.  

The thing that is frustrating me is that the Boss keeps saying, "Things will slow down, we're headed into the colder months" - but things aren't slowing down.  The only thing slowing down is HIM.

Yesterday's yoga:  A lot of the usual poses.  It feels very stale.  But it was a GOOD stretch, and I really did need that.  Here's another thing in my life that needs a change.

Today's weight training (upper body) was great, but too short.  I want/need to try to get to work early today, to work on opening contracts because New Gal didn't get to all of them.  (We're having problems with New Gal, and it's not just me now.)  Plus, there are some house duties I have to get to before I leave, and that's always extra pressure to rush a bit.  Oh well, the house stuff I'm not going to worry too much about. 

Right now, I'm a bit of a jumble in my thoughts and feelings.  

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/28/2021:
RUTS....RUTS.....Your post really spoke to me this morning......Have you ever driven your car in a rut???? It pulls the car....they are hard to get out of....it seems like it's you/me with the steering wheel against the rut.....they pull you where ever they want...until you get tough with them and turn against the rut to escape it...otherwise...the rut takes you where IT wants you to go...and you are at it's mercy..........Thank you to LittleOnes question to you.....I just got it reading your answer.......Ruts make us helpless and give us an excuse.....and allow us to just blindly follow......because...hey.....it's what we know. This was eye opening for me today...thank you to Donkey and LittleOne......

Donkey on 09/29/2021:
VERY good analogy! Yes, I've been stuck in ruts - snow comes to my mind immediately. The thing about being in a rut is that the longer I stayed in, the harder it was to get out. I've been at this job for 10 years, the longest I've ever worked at a job.

The last time I got stuck in a snow rut, I needed help to get out. I wonder if that is applicable here. Maybe that's why I keep talking about this, LOL...

bearcountrygg on 09/28/2021:
I just went back to your answer yesterday to HOPS response....where you said you weren't ready to change because the things around you haven't changed....I get that..I'm the same way....I also wait for someone else to do something that will make me want to change....or will give me no choice but to change.....sink or swim...period. I don't know about others but I have quit my own rules so many times that I don't even trust myself to carry something out. BUT....when I had no choice but to do something I just did it.....no questions asked......I suspect it may be caused by low self esteem for me at least.

Donkey on 09/29/2021:
Wow, definitely low self-esteem. This really hadn't occurred to me, but I do think you're DEFINITELY right. Hit the nail on the head.

happy-1 on 09/28/2021:
Ruts are stressful and hard. Breathe. I'm watching Moving Art on Netflix. Its a nature show without narration or food chain drama. Very peaceful.

Donkey on 09/29/2021:
I'm going to have to check out the Moving Art. You get me, about the food chain drama, which is one main reason why I don't watch a lot of those nature programs on PBS. Thank you!

happy-1 on 09/28/2021:
Ruts are stressful and hard. Breathe. I'm watching Moving Art on Netflix. Its a nature show without narration or food chain drama. Very peaceful.

Donkey on 09/29/2021:
It occurred to me last night: Discomfort causes change. I am not uncomfortable enough to make a big change in my life.

I think I'll write more about this today, so I'm cutting this reply short.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/28/2021:
I can relate to being "last to change." generally, i also hold out as much as possible before being forced to change or pushed hard to make a change. like with my former job i stayed until it wasn't possible to stay any longer. (lost the job, pushed out, couldn't stay.) stayed while lots of bullying and all kinds of crazy...bc it was a paycheck. eh. never mind that. just saying, many people would rather not change. you are NOT alone!

Bear has many good points, especially her top paragraph to you. i wonder about the movie happy mentioned ;)

Donkey, do your work but you aren't the owner. just do what you can so you have no regrets but that's it. the boss has to figure it out (the owner). just be aware that you'll have to make a move later, unless someone asks you to continue to work with them.

i guess you have to go with whatever is happening at your office.. i think you are going to see many more changes still. you tend to "feel" change and how others are feeling...i think it will be tough until the end...whatever that is. especially bc you've been there awhile. how many years are you there? i forgot.

i think that your reality, by staying, is that the reality is going to be changes until the end. especially if boss is getting ready to leave or lessen his work and someone else possibly take over. as long as you are working, i think you will just be seeing all the change happen. if you are an asset, you may be able to continue to work with the younger guy ?

i def do not know. i'm just guessing.

but there's obviously a lot more changes to occur. some would have left because they would have had enough of it. but staying can also help you...maybe you will get an in somewhere...

Donkey on 09/29/2021:
It hadn't occurred to me to look back to your job change. You definitely endured a lot of pain at your previous job. Looking back, I have left jobs that were painful. (Did this twice.) I am not in enough pain to leave, I guess, at least right now.

You are right: Just do the work. And that is what I will do for today.

Donkey - Monday Sep 27, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 133.0

Another hot day here today - high of 88F.  Not quite time to put away the capri pants for work and shorts for play (exercising).

Not only was I out of the office on Friday, but so was Nice Lady (went to NYC) and the Boss (went downstate IL for wife's high school reunion).  New Guy is out of the office W-F this week at a "work-related" conference in San Diego, that has no direct benefit to the law firm, but the Boss said he could go.  Then Male Co-Worker begins a series of long weekends for family-related trips.

My plan is to walk into that office today and handle one task at a time.  There's not much else I can do.  I must leave at 5pm tonight because there is yoga. 

Trying to keep it light and positive, but I am feeling this tight feeling of dread in my chest. 

Yesterday afternoon was quite pleasant and restful.  I did some reading, revisiting a book I had started, found difficult to read, but have reached a point in the book where the information is interesting, applicable, and useful.

I was feeling a little munchy in the afternoon, into the evening.  I had a protein shake and was able to move beyond that feeling. It really did feel more like "I'm lacking protein" versus "I'm feeling anxious."   It's too bad that I did not take that opportunity AT LEAST TRY to apply some of the techniques I've been reading about how to manage and divert such feelings.  I guess I didn't quite equate the two, that is, "This is how I'm feeling" and "Let's try this technique".  A tad disappointing.

That's another realization I came to on Sunday.  Through my readings, I've taken on a self-affirmation that says, "I am not afraid of change.  I am open to change."  But when I actually wrote down, "I am willing to change", I realized ... not really.  I'm not REALLY willing to change right now.  Also disappointing.


Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 09/27/2021:
regarding a comment back to me; if you become very close, as you are, with your daughter (or son); who knows you may end up living with them and their spouse further down the road. you have good family ties, so you never know but that will make you feel more secure; knowing they would take care of you. you can always talk to them, down the road. i feel you are a person that would blend well into their families.

little_one on 09/27/2021:
Donkey, you have to know WHY you want to change. My why is because I don't feel my best and I want to be here for my son. He's soon to be 21.

Donkey on 09/28/2021:
Staying at my current job is like staying on the Titanic. Pretty much. So it's not necessarily that I *WANT* to change but that things are changing around me, and I see it coming.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/27/2021:
wow! can't believe the heat this year in the chicago area! we've had mostly 80-82 tops this semptember when it's hot, but not 88! that's, like, serious beach weather! so is 82, but i mean 88 is HOT!

sounds like you MIGHT have less interruptions today as some folks are out. i'm sure you'll get distracted by new girl though, but i don't think you actually work with her much.

you can't finish everything all the time so just do whatever you can today and don't forget to also care for you! :) i hope you can do what you can do today and are content with it...

i think you did great with the protein shake when you were hungry, instead of bingeing or having a lot of unncessary eating.

i really don't agree that you are not ready for change. you are more than you think you are. NOBODY ever feels 100% ready for change (well, most people). for instance, it's never the "perfect time" for most people to move or buy a house...or make big decisions. but whether you are ready or not; some changes will have to occur. and i feel you will be able to do it. have confidence,you are stronger and smarter than you think.

Donkey on 09/28/2021:
See my comment above to Little One. I have to say that this really made me think.

I think that I'm not ready to change because not enough around me has changed. There you have it.

Donkey - Sunday Sep 26, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 133.0

A later day entry for me.  This Sunday and last, I've gotten into the mindset of getting to the gym early "to get it out of the way" of the rest of the day.  Hmm... I'm not sure that's the most positive approach, but as long as it gets done, I suppose no harm. I try to get back home before Daughter has to leave for work, so that I can see her, even if it's only for 5 minutes or so.  The gym was only OK, but I'm still glad that I went and I'm glad that it's open.  My knee is a little achy today, and we'll see how my hips feel tomorrow.

I took a look at the strength training class that I've been thinking about signing up for (at the gym).  There are 3 rows of about 5 stations, and the last row looked empty.  I won't make any friends being in the back row by myself, but for now, that would be OK with me.

There are also 3-4 yoga classes that I would suit me and my availability, to sign up for, for free, at the gym.  So I think once I'm done with my 20-class pass on Zoom, I will check them out (maybe one every week).   If getting back into a studio is what I need, then that should fit the bill. 

The personal training responded to my email, asking for availability.  Ha ha ha ha!  Like I have free time -- remember that argument I had with Husband about no free time during the week, a couple of weeks ago?  I might make an exception, since this is a one-time session, or maybe try to meet on the weekend.

So any of these points up above would make excellent goals for October, right?  *sigh*  No push-ups for October. I've decided that daily physical challenges work best on shorter months that don't have 31 days in them.  Not sure about diet goals.  Will I go back to tracking macros for a month?  

I think the rest of today will be a quieter day.  Husband takes his shot today, for his disease, so he's not feeling well today.  Poor guy, he was talking about going to the gym together or maybe a local hike --- for me.  I told him that it would be OK if we had a quiet day today.  I might "push" him a little bit to hike next weekend.  Not like our vacation, but just for an hour or so, since it's local.  Chair yoga starts up again in October, so I'm trying to encourage him to go.  He doesn't want to do it while wearing a mask, but I thought that we should at least try it with a mask to see if it's really all that bad or not, before he cancels it.  The instructor will understand, and so will I.

I'm not even going to think or worry about work until I get there.  It is what it is.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/26/2021:
wrote you back a little more for yesterday, in case you missed it. will reply later for today.

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
I have responded :-)

Jacky82020 on 09/26/2021:
Wow! Sounds like busy & productive plans for October!

Are you thinking of getting a personal trainer? I remember the gym i belonged to years ago had them.

Once a nice old lady invited me to her yoga class. I went just to be nice. They all sat in chairs & held neckties over their heads & stretched. Think it was at the community rec center. I hated it, but most were fat & old, so it was great for them. At the end, everyone walked up to a table & gave her a dollar.

Any kind of exercise is always better than none.

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
I was offered a free PT session through my gym, for my birthday way back in July. I want to see how it goes, but I have given serious consideration to having a short-term trainer for a bit, to freshen up my weight training routine, if nothing else.

My problem is that I don't know what my goals really are. I know it involves weights. Do I want to lift heavier? Do I want to build bulk? Will my body even allow any of this to happen?

bearcountrygg on 09/26/2021:
I'm glad to hear that you are leaving work at work...they sure don't pay you to keep it on your mind all weekend....That is the owners job!

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
That's right! And he took Friday off! So he's probably not thinking too much about work either.

I have to say, that is one of the advantages of where I work. The Boss doesn't seem to care very much about the work product, as long as it gets the job done. He gave me a letter to send out that had completely wrong formatting -- the thing was UGLY. I fixed the formatting and asked him to sign the letter again. I told him that it's OK to let me know if a letter or document isn't formatted correctly.

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
I definitely need to not think about work more often.

Jacky82020 on 09/26/2021:
Don’t think you have to worry about hulking up too much. Not easy for us women, unless on steroids. Tone & definition is good!

horn_of_plenty on 09/26/2021:
I see no issue with the mindset of getting the gym out of the way for the rest of the day! Seems positive to me!

The strength straining sounds good. I remember I used to do yoga abs wasn’t near the best but after going quite a bit, I took a front row position anyways ;)

Free yoga sounds wonderful !

Yeah if I were in your place, I’d do the personal training session on the weekend so I could be more relaxed and ready to learn any new tips or machines so I could incorporate them in the future and not rushed just to get home

Donkey on 09/27/2021:
I was thinking about leaving work early one day to do the personal training during the week.... but I think you're right, to do it on a weekend day, so as not to feel rushed or anything.


horn_of_plenty on 09/26/2021:
I think it should be ok wearing masks and doing chair yoga. It’s mostly mental - needing to breathe in a mask is really not hard. I find the one time use masks are easiest to breathe in ( for your hubby)

Donkey on 09/27/2021:
I too find the one-use masks to be more breathable than cloth, although I have some cloth masks that do feel good. I think it's all in the construction of the mask. I bought him an XL mask to help with breathability.

I think we should at least try it. For Husband, it's to get him out of the house, around other veterans, and if he gets some gains from stretching, breathing, relaxing, then all the better.

Donkey - Saturday Sep 25, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 133.0

Donkey is back!  And I am happy to be able to resume writing entries, which is much harder for me to do on my phone, when I'm away from my laptop at home.

Am I glad to be home?  I'm not feeling that HUGE "Wow, am I GLAD to be home" feeling that I usually experience. Yes, I am glad to be home, but I am not so eager to get back into my routine.  I'm eager to get back into exercising, and my tummy sure would appreciate getting back to normal eating. (I'll write more about this below.)  My daughter has a wedding to go to this evening, so I'm looking forward not only to seeing her and chatting, but also to see her all dressed up, too.

I was very torn to weigh in this morning.  Eating was quite indulgent this time.  I realize that there are 2 types of eating while traveling:

  • One who sticks to how they usually eat when they are at home.  No "splurging" per se.  My mom does this.  When she travels, she sticks to how she eats at home:  vegetarian dishes, egg-white omelets, etc.
  • One who views the trip as an "occassion" and therefore, eats quite differently than when at home.  This was me, this time.  Big breakfasts, more carbs, desserts.  I actually knew that on this trip, I wanted to have a big piece of cake and authentic Wisconsin ice cream (separately). and I fulfilled both of these treats. So now back to reality.

I was quite relieved to see that today's weigh-in was not all that bad, just a slight gain, which I can live with.

Hiking was wonderful!  Something about Wisconsin trails that is much more inviting and lovely than what we have here in Illinois. Think forest versus prairie, although this is not entirely accurate. Illinois has a lot of wooded areas, too, that are lovely.  But in Wisconsin, the woods just seem more like woods, rather than trees that divide prairies.  The hikes that we went on were definitely challenging - I'm not sure how Husband managed, but he was a trooper and a good sport.  

We also had a good chat about our future.  He really wants me to change jobs to Walmart.  If I worked 5am-1pm, we would have more time available together.  Something with a 401K, something with real insurance.  I could not explain to him why I'm finding it so hard to leave where I'm at.

Then I come home and find out that one of my internet friends (I've been friends with this lady for over 20 years) is starting to work part-time at Walmart, as a shopper, just like I am/was thinking about doing, this weekend, to earn extra money -- or maybe it's for a change of pace?  I'm not sure, but she's doing it. And I'm not.  I'm still stuck.  (I don't feel that I could do Walmart on a part-time basis either, becaue I really do need some down-time from my regular job.  Maybe THAT way of thinking needs to change.  Hmm...)

I also come home to another curveball that the 1 book I'm reading (the 5 regrets of the dying) is due today, being recalled a week before I thought it would be due.  So I'm kind of rushing to finish the last 100 pages.  I have 10 more to go, which I can do today.  The part about her insights in pallative care is done, so she's wrapping up her story with "where I went from here with what I learned", which is not nearly as interesting as what she had learned from people in her care.  So it's not a big deal about finishing the book, except that I feel rushed about it.  I could just turn it in late, but I'd rather not.  IDK, just feeling pressured and rushed, all over such a little thing.  It's more of an annoyance than anything else.

Oh well, I'm going to try not to feel too pressed for much of anything today.  If it gets done, great.  And if it doesn't, oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Possible things to do today:

  • Return library books - DONE
  • Fill birdfeeders - DONE
  • Laundry - DONE 
  • Gym (upper body day) - DONE
  • Maybe get a hair cut.- DONE

All in all, it was a good day.  I have the evening to continue to relax and reset my mind.  I had some sinus pressure this morning, and so I think that was a large contributor to feeling so stressed.  

I plan to have a quiet evening tonight.


Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 09/25/2021:
You still sound stressed. Be kind to yourself today (and tomorrow). Relax. You cannot control things, only manage them, my wonderful Aunt (who passed earlier this year) told me. She was very wise. It helped me to realize how limited I am in trying to make sure everything and everyone are okay 100% of the time, which I am totally incapable of doing and to take it easy and relax more. Love, Maria (smile!)

Donkey on 09/25/2021:
I was quite stressed this morning. Your comments have helped. I took a few deep breaths, and then just focused on managing.

I like this mantra: You cannot control things, only manage them. I am going to draw from this saying this week, and see where it takes me :-)

innerpeace on 09/25/2021:
Agree with Maria, you still sound stressed. I'm glad you enjoyed your trip and hikes. Hikes are always calming in the moment. My friend always said in the middle of a hike "this was her church" she always felt renewed and invigorated during the hikes, it was the pain she felt afterwards she didn't quite appreciate. Changing jobs is always a hard decision, good luck.

Donkey on 09/25/2021:
Part of my stress was due to sinus pressure. Not sure if it's allergies, or what, but after I took a decongestant and a Tylenol, I felt much better - not so much physical pressure in my head.

I agree with your friend's feelings about hiking. This time, too, I did have pain - a tightness behind the knees (probably due to the hills). Well, at least I know that my body made an effort!

Thank you for saying that about the difficulty of changing jobs. I hadn't quite acknowledged that to myself. If/when the time is right, I'll make my move.

Jacky82020 on 09/25/2021:
I’ve let the time expire on some library ebooks but can immediately check it out again, unless there was a waitlist.

I could never eat traveling as a do at home! Always overeat & have to lose it again, but big deal. That’s life for most ppl.

Can’t imagine doing Walmart part time & your regular job, unless they allow very few hours, idk, maybe 10-15? That way you could try it & quit if it sucks.

Oh, your woods sound wonderful!

Donkey on 09/25/2021:
I think having any part-time job in addition to my job, at this point in time, would just be overwhelmingly exhausting. I would do it if I had to, if I were in dire financial straits, of course, but it would be very taxing both physically and mentally.

I'm wondering why my internet friend decided to do this. Her full-time job is at a government agency.

bearcountrygg on 09/25/2021:
Nice to hear that the hiking was enjoyable........

Donkey on 09/25/2021:
It was - nothing like the Wisconsin wilderness. It's a beautiful state. From what I remember of Michigan, it can be quite similar, although I think Michigan has even more woods, and I'm not sure it's quite so hilly. The hills are from the glaciers from the ice age, so maybe Michigan wasn't affected.

Also, we stayed in a college town, but didn't go onto the campus. I could have - there's a walking route recommended to see the lay of the campus - but I think that would have been too much for Husband -- and maybe it would have been too much for me too. I mean to say, part of the reason for the trip was to rest as well.

Rest, refuel, and reset. The "reset" wasn't as complete as I had wanted/needed/hoped, but some of it was there.

Jacky82020 on 09/25/2021:
Sure, I’d take on a part time job too if we needed the $$.

How old is your internet friend? Could she be saving for something special like a house or car? Maybe wants to pay down some debts?

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
My internet friend is around 50. She has 1 adult son who I believe no longer lives with her. She is divorced. So her time, outside of work, is her own. I'm sure the extra money is nice, but perhaps she has specific debt she wants/needs to pay off. It'd be a much juicier story if she was saving up for that trip around the world, or something fabulous like that.

I'll have to ask her. We used to have a neighbor who worked at Walmart after his first just was done just to get away from his wife. So he'd work job 1 from 7am-3pm, come home, grab a dinner box, and head off to job 2 for the rest of the evening.

Jacky82020 on 09/25/2021:
Sure, I’d take on a part time job too if we needed the $$.

How old is your internet friend? Could she be saving for something special like a house or car? Maybe wants to pay down some debts?

Horn_of_plenty on 09/25/2021:
oh wow you got a lot done today! i cannot wait to see your haircut!!!?

i didn't think you'd be leaving comments while i was away; i thought you'd want to relax...how nice to get a few from you. you didn't have to though!!

that's cool your daughter is going to a wedding. i have heard of a few people going to those. glad some people are able to continue to start to do things as we did, sort of, pre-covid. and its nice for your daughter to experience.

it's nice to hear you enjoyed the food while away and took a break from your usual. you can, of course, do both...like a mix of you and your mom, but, if you want to view it as an "occasion," that is certainly your choice and i support you on that! You live your life!

I want to say this one thing; just hear me out. I am not sure how much longer you will live than your hubby, but it may be a lot. I am also not sure how he will progress with his issues. You cannot only switch jobs for him; it has to be the best for both of you (including you).

also, it's not hubby waking up to work at 5am. it would be you. you would get a lot of exercise if you are on your feet for your job, which is nice. and i'm SURE your body could get used to that.

i'm just offering my opinions, which may not be suitable for you. not sure.

also, i do feel you do not need a second job to your full time job. i have a coworker that is pretty high energy and turning 24 soon. she tells me she makes extra money (after the job she works with me and her THREE HOUR COMMUTE BOTH WAYS), by doing take out food deliveries driving around her neighborhood at night for the app...i forget the apps name right now..oh, DOOR DASH i think it is. well, that's fine and cool...and she does it she says bc she needs more money to pay her taxes on her house (yes, she has a house)...but honestly in my head i jsut feel she's young and has the time to fool around going her and there and not sleeping. i don't think she'll be doing this or working 2 jobs ever again after this time period. she'll prob get married and have a baby....

what i'm saying is, i don't think the 2 job scenario is right for you...and that it would be beneficial for you LONG TERM.

I hope you have a nice evening, too.

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
Believe it or not, the job switch WAS keeping in mind that I'd be on my own for some time, as a widow. I wrote on your Saturday entry that my paralegal job is perfect for a wife who has all of her benefits through her husband's job, and uses this job as either supplemental (to raise the standard of living) or as "mad money" for fun spending. That is not where me/us by any means, at this point.

As I am up early to exercise anyway, I think I could get used to starting at 5am. I don't have to start at 5am. I can put my availability at 6am or 7am. I think I could handle all of the work-exercise, but what if I can't? What if I quit my job, start the Walmart job, and have foot or knee pain that makes it miserable? Then what?

But I have to agree, a 2nd job would not be ideal for me, not even as an way to "ease in" to working at Walmart (full time or otherwise).

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
I had not even considered the COVID risks of going to the wedding. Oh dear... Well, if anyone has great immunity, it would be Daughter and boyfriend, as they have both been vaccinated and both had COVID. But wow, hadn't even thought about it. That's bad on my part.

I was glad to comment. I didn't totally disconnect from the media world. We didn't have a TV in our room, but I would check my usual websites, and Husband did listen to the news on the radio for a little bit.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/25/2021:
reason i have such strong thoughts about 23yo getting married and baby is she does have a long-term bf and does talk about future with him....

so her reality now shall change i am sure...door dash i cannot see for her future...but it serves its purpose now, i guess. she could have saved more or planned better or who knows how much she puts in her 401k to save too....i just see her as 23 turning 24 and doing everything she can in a short amount of time; as most young people tend to do more in my opinion.

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
She is young and has that energy. And she has a very good reason - a specific goal of paying taxes - for the job. You are right, though, as she gets older and things happen, she will have less time to herself to work a 2nd job, unless it's something that she HAS to do.

With me, the cost of childcare never made it worthy to me to work outside of the home. I'd end up breaking even, or maybe even lose money by working outside of the home. Financially not worth it, but... damn it, I think I would have been a happier mom, wife, woman, person, had I been able to stay working, at least a little bit.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/25/2021:
i meant there may be a large amount of years after your hubby you will have to live based on your health. sorry if i said too much.

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
I'm glad you made this point as a completely separate comment, because you're absolutely right. I anticipate having 20-30 years on my own. (I'm terrible at math, though, so maybe that's a little high.)

I will probably live to be in my 90's. Most folks in my direct family line have lived to be in their early 90's. I am 9+ years younger than my husband, and he has a lot of health issues. The irony with AS (the disease he has) is that it's life-shortening, so one ends up living a very long, compromised, painful life. So maybe we'll be together for a long time.... But the math says that yes, I will have a considerable amount of time on my own.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/26/2021:
i think you'd handle walmart well. and if you became a cashier later, you could sit while at cash register.

i think you'd be fine on your feet. and could adjust your hours to make sure of it, but lessening hours at first or later.

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
I came to the realization that when I'm ready, I'll make the change, and I will be OK. I think that's my biggest fear behind all of this, that I won't be OK.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/26/2021:
will you always have benefits thru hubby or that's not possible?

Donkey on 09/26/2021:
I no longer have health insurance through Husband, since he is disabled-retired. (Thank you, Obamacare, from the bottom of my heart.)

Due to some things beyond his control, he doesn't draw from a well-funded pension (not enough years vested) but has 3 little pensions (again, because not enough years vested to make it to the higher tiers) that are keeping us afloat. I'm not sure if I get any "surviving spouse" benefit if he passes away. I have a small life insurance policy on him, to give me time to figure out things, if he should die.

It's important to me, though to know that I will land on my feet if something happens to him.

Donkey - Wednesday Sep 22, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

This afternoon, Husband and I leave for our long weekend getaway, and all I can feel is stressed that I'm not packed yet, and I have a ton of work to do, at work, before I leave.  I'm worried about leaving Mistakes Girl so much work. I'm worried about all the work that wil be waiting for me on Monday.  This so sucks.

Mistakes Girl and I had a nice private chat yesterday. She has it on good authority that if something should happen to the Boss,unexpectedly, where Boss cannot work, that the New Guy is to take over the running of the firm, not the older, more experienced Associate Attorney.  This is in writing, so it will be.  What a kick in the gut to Associate Attorney - I wonder if he knows.  Nice Lady has already sort of figured it out.

I didn't tell MG that I don't want to work for New Guy -- BUT I did tell her that I have problems "meshing" with New Gal.  (New Girl is 47 years old, so she's not really a "girl" - I will be calling her New Gal from now on.)  And I do not want to work at the firm if Mistakes Girl isn't there to act as a buffer between the 2 of us.  

Eating was OK yesterday.  Upper body weights wasn't as good though, because I worked an hour of overtime, to get caught up for today, so that I could get as much done today as possible, before I leave. Lower body weight training this morning was only OK.  The stress of everything kind of got in the way, plus, I didn't want to push myself and strain my back right before our hiking trip. So I held back a bit and it was nothing spectacular.

The nice thing about this trip is that we are coming back home on Friday afternoon, so I get a little longer at home.  That probably defeats the "long weekend" thing, but I really just need those 2 days AT HOME.  My mom recently mentioned to me that a 3-night stay anywhere seems to be the ideal limit for any trip.  This is 2 nights...  IDK I feel like I just need time to think and be.


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 09/22/2021:
good idea to let him know "i'm listening." (my coworker)

Jacky82020 on 09/22/2021:
Vacay sounds exciting! You deserve a break from the office etc. Does this firm do real estate only?

Donkey on 09/25/2021:
We do a little estate planning (simple wills, trusts, etc.) and Associate Attorney does bankruptcy. The bankruptcy was supposed to be a cash cow, but AA never really got it off the ground, which I don't understand because the law firm I worked at right before I moved to this one had a BOOMING bankruptcy business. Couldn't keep up!

innerpeace on 09/22/2021:
Have a great few days off...enjoy your time and don't think about what you are missing in your office, cause you know, it will be there when you get back!

bearcountrygg on 09/22/2021:
Enjoy your getaway.......you deserve a break!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/22/2021:
lol, so i did talk to coworker today again. told him about you! :) and how that was your good advice. he seems happy to talk about his feelings. he's like a woman ! (he is married):)

no no, you should go on this vacation. separate yourself from those worries. you will catch up little by little. it will be ok. don't worry about mistakes girl...well, don't worry for her. she has to do the work. if she makes mistakes, i would worry only about that !(but, later!) now is time to enjoy your trip. if you forget something or don't pack something, you can pick it up whereever you go. you will be OK!

try not to worry too much about "what will be" for the future of the firm. try to be in the moment. you may say now that you don't want to work for attorney if there's no buffer, but you may change your mind if it means you lose your job....but, that's for you to think about.

smart to hold back on a workout rather than cause injury. i would prob think of that, too.

when my life becomes a little too stressful, i also suffer in my workouts, like if i'm constantly losing sleep or too much OT. totally get that.

I LOVE time home after a trip. i'd do the same plan as you. you do you. homebodies like us like that recovery time at home - i love it.

Donkey on 09/23/2021:
It warms my heart to hear that I was helpful to you for your coworker. One of like second-hand helping :-)

horn_of_plenty on 09/23/2021:
I hope you are having a lovely trip!

Maria7 on 09/24/2021:
Hope you have a wonderful trip and try not to worry about work while you are away. Just enjoy yourself!

Jacky82020 on 09/25/2021:
Bankruptcy is BIG business. Advertised on TV day & night. Never ends. That & personal injury. We have a neighbor I’ve never met on this somewhat short road who is always on TV drumming up business for workman’s comp & personal injury. At the end he yells out: GET COMPENSATED!

If I ever see him when I drive down the road gonna yell out the window: GET COMPENSATED!!!

He is sharky looking. His dad & brother are attorneys too. The brother is a beefy tribal tattooed guy who has his big pic in the Sunday newspaper every week, Specializes in real estate! Makes me wonder.

Donkey - Tuesday Sep 21, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

So let me start by saying that overall, yesterday was an OK day, which isn't bad - not great, but not awful.  Having said that, I will tell you that work just drained any sense of happiness or contentment that I had from the weekend, stomach problems or not.  The most positive thing I can say is that at least I know that I wasn't alone in feeling that way, because Mistakes Girl has probably reached my level of fatigue/frustration that I have been operating at.  

Just drowning in emails mostly, for me.  I walk in to 32 emails to start my day.  That is a high number, meaning it will be a busy day.  I have to jump in and get started on chipping away at those right away or the emails will become uncontrollable.  At least I did not have as many new contracts as Mistakes Girl had (because of New Guy).  And New Girl was there all day, which helped, EXCEPT that I just don't like the way she opens up files.  Of the 3 that I reviewed (for mistakes) that she opened, only 1 of them could pass.  The other 2 have mistakes that require extensive data re-entry.  I know that she won't learn if I don't say anything, but these were so bad that I don't even think it's a learning experience.  It's just a redo.

So I put the new re-do files aside and left for the day at 5:15p - late for a yoga day. Dinner was a little rocky because Husband thinks that by talking louder, he'll become more clearer in what he's trying to communicate.  I couldn't understand what he was trying to say - I think my brain was just on overload. 

Yoga was pretty bad because the instructor's WiFi wasn't working well, and so it was very choppy.  Also, I'm not sure what's going on with her, but I notice that she's not participating in the session as much any more.  She sits and coaches me verbally through the moves.  In a way, that's good, because she lets me know when I've gotten into the pose correctly or prompts me to make adjustments.  I miss that about yoga in the studio. 

I think I did OK with eating.  Stayed up a little later because I went out with Daughter after yoga, to drop off cans at the animal shelter, and then to use coupons at the drug store to buy vitamins.  It was so nice to spend time with Daughter, even at the expense of my own sleep.  We had an interesting conversation about younger workers and older workers, and how they relate or don't relate.  This was prompted by my realization that Male Co-Worker is a bitter old man.  For someone who identifies as a Christian, I'm just amazed at the lengths of his meanness sometimes.  TOXIC.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/21/2021:
Sorry to hear work didn’t go so well. Here’s hoping that mean old guy retires soon or shows up less.

I get vitamins/supplements online from Puritans Pride. Mostly for Matt, I don’t take many, he does. Some better prices than Walmart.

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
3 years until he can retire, and if the Boss is still working, he'll probably keep working too, since he doesn't want to be home with his neurotic wife.

What is it with people I work with don't want to be with their spouses????

bearcountrygg on 09/21/2021:
I'm sure it is so frustrating that Mistakes girl makes so many errors in data......she has 1 job ( to enter things correctly) and can't even be trusted to do that.....what is she getting paid for? Sad that her work ethic is so flimsy! Agreed...louder isn't better....it just makes me want to leave the room.

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
Actually, this is New Girl who is making the mistakes. These are different though. She's not following our established procedure -- these aren't really mistakes, these are something else.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2021:
if you do talk to your doc, let me know if they say anything about rogaine.

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
Will do!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2021:
i wasn't trying to turn you off from trying something new, below! :)

Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2021:
sorry to hear about this bitter old coworker that you speak of sometimes. just stay away as much as possible. luckily, i am not currently working with ones like that now. although in the past i sorta had.

my male coworkers have many personalities. one tells me of his stresses, sadly. he's just stressed and wants to retire. he's only 57. i tell him not to forget about the good things in his life....i hope he'll be ok. he's just a kind man. i guess i should let him. i once went to him crying, on my bday, when i misinterpreted something a coworker said - i went into him and he made me feel a lot better. so, if he wants to share anything with me, i just have to give him some pep talk i guess..

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
I can so relate to YOUR male co-worker. Pep talk - or maybe just let him know you're there to listen.

Jacky82020 on 09/22/2021:
Maybe it’s the spouses who don’t want them around. LOL

Donkey - Monday Sep 20, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

I was feeling much more positive, but I can feel that my energy has shifted.  Is it the lingering heat and humidity? (Cool-off is coming Wednesday, now.)  Is it the dread of going to work?  Is it the bathroom issues this morning?  I just don't feel as well situated as I had yesterday.

It seems as though my GI system has FINALLY reconciled itself -- it's just unfortunate that it chose early Monday morning to do so, rather than on a weekend, when time is more lax.  Whoa, what a difference!  I had not realized how bloated and uncomfortable I was, until this correction.  I feel "reset" but also a bit surprised by this.  Also struggling with TOM right now - things are changing.

I'm hoping that yoga tonight will help me "reset" myself mentally.


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/20/2021:
I know what you mean about TOM changing......it did for me too and a hysterectomy stopped that part but the menopause [art goes on and it was a wild ride...get ready for hot flashes....( hint...don't put your summer clothes away...it may be snowing outside but it will be 90 degrees inside)...

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
I'm not at the hot flashes point yet, which I confess, I haven't even really considered. However, I have seen other women suffer through those, especially bad ones. My poor Aunt Mary used to sit outside in the middle of winter just to get some relief.

So I guess it could be worse. However, I hope that my dark moods don't get much worse.

Jacky82020 on 09/20/2021:
Donk, are you saying you took a decent dump & feel better? One of the highlights of my week, or perhaps weeks gone by when a good crap was truly a blessing from on high. LOL The potassium is really doing it now. Doing about 4 grams a day.

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
Yes, that is what I am saying. A Donkey Dump served done did well. It is such a struggle, with the iron supplements. I eat lots of fiber, drink lots of water... It's just one of those things.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
awww, sorry you aren't feeling as good as yesterday! xoxo

we have had a cooling off and it's soooo nice. mid 70's. just perfect!

i also got TOM today...! wasn't expecting it for a few more days. i think it's a hair early. but, i always (almost) wear a pantiliner to work for issues like this and similar so that i always have extra protection, lol. it's one of my peeves to leave without wearing one!

i'm sure you feel better after the dump dump as jacky mentioned.

i'm currently realizing my hair is quite thin due to hormones. may try something like the women's version of rogaine, but not yet. i need more of a push to do it...and once you start, you cannot stop. so first, i'll just work on growing my hair out a little more so i can even it up; get a trim in december or so.

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
I'm thinking of starting rogaine (or similar product) but want to talk to my doctor about it first.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
wow! 90F yesterday for you?! it was at tops 75 yesterday and so sunny that the beaches were pretty full! people really enjoyed it and it WAS warm enough bc of the very warm sun!

The gun range sounds fun for a date night. it's not like you are going out shooting and random people/things. it's controlled. i see that as fun too. it's similar to bowling, aiming at a target. responsible adults should be able to enjoy it.

i think i once tried either tai kwon do or tai chi but i didn't understand the moves. whoever was teaching, was teaching above my beginner level .i think it was when i was in college, there was a small group being taught.hardly anyone came, most had some practice lol. so i was the newbie. if you don't want to sign up for classes starting so soon - don't. you really don't have to do what you don't want to - and i've certainly been doing a lot of them by not showing up to volunteer (which really isn't the right thing to do!) so i've made a mental note not to sign up for anything else while i am taking a course!

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
Thank you for saying this. I was thinking about your comment on my (short) drive home from work. It's one thing to stretch one's boundaries and try new things, but it's another thing to engage in activities that aren't really authentic to who I am. So I may not sign up for Tai Chi after all. I thought perhaps it would be a nice complement to yoga - and it might be - but it's a direction I really don't see myself going in.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
great idea to do the practice hike(s) with hubby. it's a good way to go to local parks / neighborhoods with walkways / greenways and benches and to get good exercise, both of you, this lovely time of year.

i remember there used to be gym hogs. if i really wanted to use the equipment; and already tried waiting; i'd ask if they could share. many times, they would...

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
all because we are female and they can do higher weight levels, doesn't mean they can hog the machines.

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
Combining my replies here: I can't even ask this guy to cut in, because he's wearing headphones, so he wouldn't be able to hear me anyway.

And I think what really annoys me is that he's a skinny little thing. He DOES lift at very heavy weights, but waits way long in between sets.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
Have you ever had any issues in pushing yourself to read at home. sometimes, i have a very hard time starting to read; which is why i like to do it on the subway and bus (there seems to be less to do, lol, while sitting there; and it's easier for me to distract myself with a book).

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
My problem is maintaining interest in a book. I seem to have no problem selecting books, getting started, but then my enthusiasm just fades out. So finishing a book, for me, feels like a major accomplishment.

Jacky82020 on 09/21/2021:
I set aside many of the books I begin. No regrets! If they don’t hold my interest, there’s thousands that will. The big political blockbusters are a good example of this. I get on the Brooklyn Library wait list as soon as I hear about one. By time I get it, the juicy stuff is all over the media & there’s always much dull stuff. For me anyway. Waiting for Peril now, about Trump’s chaotic final months in office & how the Generals had to work up stop him from nuking China & starting WW3

Donkey - Sunday Sep 19, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Good morning!  A lovely, quiet, calm Sunday morning, but oh BOY is it gonna be a HOT one today.  HOT and HUMID, with a high of 90F.  Ooof!

I kind of wanted to clarify things.  I'm not really a gun person at all; I don't care for them, definitely not my first choice of things to do.  On a personal level, I find them rather intimidating.  Also, philisophically, I don't agree with them.  However, I can support responsible gun ownership.  And finally, this endeavor is more for the benefit of Mr. Donkey - see my comment to Happy on my entry yesterday - but it's also good to test my boundaries & limits, which can be very rigid & narrow.

BUT I came to the realization this morning that perhaps I am too ambitious with changes & challenges.  I have come to a place of weight-loss maintenance; I have come to a place of professional (job) maintenance.  So perhaps now is not the time to be diving into all sorts of new adventures and such.  It may be a time for mental maintenance as well. 

Having said that, BEFORE I came to this thought TODAY, the following happened YESTERDAY:

  • I did respond to the email regarding a free personal training session.  I haven't gotten a response yet.  Let's see if that goes anywhere.
  • I went onto the library website to sign up for the indoor Tai Chi for Beginners class.  Turns out, I can start next weekend outdoors. This is a class/activity that they offer every Saturday afternoon 3p-4p.  Hmmm... This threw me off a little bit.  I have not signed up for either the indoor class in November nor any outdoor classes sooner.
  • The gun range date night thing is too far along NOT to happen; these will probably be starting in October.  Well, it will be nice to have Date Nights with Husband that aren't focused around eating.

I finished reading "When Breath Becomes Air".  I'm proud of myself that I could finish a book.  I did stay up late (10:30p) to finish it. I'm glad that I did, and this didn't stop me from waking up naturally at around 4:30am today.

I had an only OK day at the gym yesterday.  I'm really surprised, too, because it was not crowded at all, and folks were doing OK with wearing masks.  However, there were 2 guys that were monopollizing 2 of the machines that I wanted to use, because they were ON THEIR PHONES.  And one guy -- he was playing Scrabble or Words with Friends!!!  DUDE!  Get off the phone and do your weights!  And Scrabble Guy wasn't even the most offensive.  It was the OTHER guy who was honking me off, because he did the very same thing LAST Saturday too.  In the 25 minutes that he spent sitting on the chest press machine, I was able to do 3 sets of 15-20 reps on THREE other machines!!!!

I'm looking forward to a day of folding laundry, reading, gym (leg day), and spending time with Husband. He proposed that we have a "practice" hike to prepare for the hikes while we're on vacation, but if it's hot, forget it.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 09/19/2021:
A practice is a very good idea!!! Shoes and ankles need testing!

Donkey on 09/19/2021:
Oh boy, my right shoulder is gonna be sore!!!!!

Donkey - Saturday Sep 18, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Well, well... look at that lovely weigh-in today!  Isn't maintenance grand?  I'll be honest, I'd much prefer to see a number in the 120's, but this is a good number too.  And that I can maintain it, eat a lot, exercise a lot, and still feel great (except for the recent sleep slump) - I'll take it!!

Eating went well yesterday.  I felt satisfied after my 3pm snack at work, but that's good because I worked late.  Dinner was lighter - fish - and I felt very satisfied at the end.  In fact, I did not even finish my square of dark chocolate.

My sleep was probably not as good as I would like it, but I woke up early, naturally on my own, and I like that.  I went to bed much later (almost 10:30pm) so that it would be easier to fall asleep, and it WAS easier.

I'm well on my way to doing my weekend chores.  I do hope to read. I didn't get a chance to read last night; I also didn't write in my gratitude agent yesterday either, so I will need to write yesterday's gratitude as well as one for today.

Lately, my mantra has been "Inhale calm, exhale drama" that I use while breating to meditate. However, after my argument with Husband on Thursday, I started returning back to the "I am open to change. I am not afraid of change" during my lunchtime walk.  Closer to the truth would be, "I am not real receptive to change. Change is out of my comfort zone" but that doesn't quite have a Zen feel to it, does it?  LOL...  

So I have a couple of ideas on things to do that will challenge me, sort of a Bucket List, although rather minor in the big picture of life.

  • There is a free, beginner's Tai Chi class being taught at the library - where I used to do Library Yoga (sadly, no longer offered because of COVID) on Saturday, November 13th.  I think I'm going to do that.  I'm very uncoordinated and also very stressed.  This class is a challenge to both of those.  
  • The really big news though is that, in the quest to do more things together with Husband, I am going to learn to how to shoot at the local gun range.  This is very much NOT me, on many levels, but I think it would be a good skill to learn & have.  It is something that Husband is VERY good at and VERY excited about.  It would get him out of the house, and maybe meet new people (maybe for me too).  On Thursday, when I was complaining that I just do not have time to go to target practice, I had not realized how much he was looking forward to doing this, and the time & effort he had put into getting us ready to do endeavor.  Also, I think he's VERY lonely, even if he doesn't realize it.  

I still WANT to try other things in my own fitness journey.  I'm just brainstorming, some of these I've talked about before:

  • Attend the Strength class at the gym - there's one during the week, and one late Sunday mornings.  Free with my membership.
  • Sign up for a free personal training session the gym offered me.  Why haven't I jumped at this? 

These 4 things I've listed are very easy to enroll in and free, except for the gun range (but about equal to the cost of a date night, which is what this kind of would be, for us).  

What is stopping me? ME.  


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 09/18/2021:
LMAO... A hot date at the gun range? I like it.

Donkey on 09/19/2021:
I do too, in the sense that there are very few things that we can do together, due to time constraints and his health issues. Winters here in Illinois are quite dark and long. It would be one thing if we had the pretty Michigan snow, but most of the time, it's a very drab gray-brown thing. Gray skies, brown grass, cold winds.

Now that the kids are essentially grown and gone, I'm working to find ways that we can reconnect, so to speak.

happy-1 on 09/19/2021:
I like anything target-related. It’s super calming to breathe, focus, and shoot. I like archery too. I don’t ever feel calm in mindfulness and meditation stuff, but I do woth anything target-related.

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