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Donkey - Friday Dec 14, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 125.5

Today is the eat-out Office Lunch Party, planned and hosted by Queen Bee.  Lunch is at a bar restaurant Moose lodge, so I just need to focus on drinking lots of water throughout the meal, focus on vegetables and protein, and watch portion sizes.  

I am wearing my Ugly Christmas Sweater which I made myself.  It's basically a red sweater that I own, and then I just stuck Christmas bows all over it.  I have a headband that I stuck Christmas bows on too.  The sweater is uncomfortable with the bows on it. I KNOW that I MUST relax about the sweater or it will cause me much more anxiety than is warranted or required.  My husband reminded me, It doesn't really matter - it's an Ugly Christmas Sweater.

I did a lot of thinking about the party yesterday and what I would have done differently.  I am better prepared today:

  • Bringing my usual protein bar for breakfast, followed up by either grapefruit or raw vegetables (depending on if I want sweet or not-sweet) at around 10am.  THIS IS KEY.  Yesterday's 3-egg breakfast with banana chaser did not satisfy nor hold me very well.
  • Bringing my own water bottle, plus I will be focusing on drinking water during the party as well.
  • Going to focus on moderating my reactional emotions and feelings of fullness, even if it means that I'm not 100% into the party.  This also means I'm not going to worry about this darn sweater too!
  • I'm wondering NOW if my "munchies" after the card signing was because I was feeling deprived or left out  Honestly, I did not want the pizza - it did not smell right and the crust was just way too ... much. However, considering this, I may make a different lunch choice today when I order.

I just realized that I probably should have been walking on the treadmill instead of writing here on DD, since I won't get my lunchtime walk.  Hmm...  Maybe I can walk around the block quickly at around 10:30am, just to move around and clear my head a bit.

I am hoping to maybe do a little Christmas shopping on my way back to the office after the party.  IDK funds are kind of tight this week because of the 2nd mortgage payment.  Gosh, if it weren't for that 2nd mortgage in my life, things would be so much better.  Hate that thing...

Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/14/2018:
Good introspective......there are always things to learn about ourselves.......It's a good thing......have fun at the party...and relax and enjoy the meal....whichever way you decide to handle it. And also from experience....2nd mortgages and or Home Equity lines of credit...are NOT a good thing...been there...done that...the burden just gets bigger...even if at the moment it seemed like a good thing...we dwefinately would have done that diferently ourselves.....I sympathize with you there.

BearCountryGG on 12/14/2018:
Basically the way we ended up getting out from under that was selling the houe ( it was too big for us anyway then)......It actually ended up costing US $10,000 to finalize the deal....( yup....but we had lived there for 32 years...so that is worth something)....We also had a second small place ( where we are now...which we added on to so it is about half the size of the one we sold) so we didn't have to go out and actually buy another house to replace the one we sold....but in the past home sales...we had always made a profit and had money to go on to the next one.....That sale where it cost us because of the HLC....would have been a bad deal if we had needed to purchase another......We thought we were so smart with the HLC because we coiuld declare it on income tax.....but bottom line...I would never do that again.

legcramps on 12/14/2018:
Today will be better! At least you get to choose what you have today for lunch; that will be a huge difference from yesterday's pizza. It's hard to relax when we're feeling anxious about something - just take it bit by bit! Good luck! Have fun!

horn_of_plenty on 12/14/2018:
Hi J-Donk! Happy Fri-YAY!

Your lunch plan sounds perfectly doable. I hope there’s at least Salad on the menu! I wonder if they have any veggie sides. It can be difficult at restaurants that generally do NOT have healthy choices…which exist which makes me laugh because even McDonalds offers a decent salad and a diet coke along with small fries! !!

Yeah, soon enough you can go home and take the uncomfortable sweater off. I had a very uncomfortable sweater on the other day and wore a tank top underneath….the type with a built in bra spaghetti strap tank…made it much more comfortable and not itchy on my skin!

Yep, regarding your first thought on yesterday’s party of being extra prepared, this is my only way…I also still snack lately on days with parties or when we are presented with bagels for breakfast once in awhile…I am used to the healthy snacking lifestyle and it’s hard to deviate when faced with higher cal breakfasts or trying to not snack and waiting longer between meals…

Yep, drinking water helps keep your mouth and stomach busy at least…

It’s not worth the deprivation or starting to get that feeling…you can always have tastes of things if they are what you really want…llike, if you want carbs…eat a slice of bread on the table….try to have moderation at these events if you feel deprived….nice job so far!

Donkey - Thursday Dec 13, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 125.5

One down, one to go...

I survived the in-office Christmas party, but it threw off my whole day food & exercise-wise.  I'm going to go to bed very soon because if I stay down here on the main level, I will start diving into the bags of nuts and blocks of cheese.

I wasn't taking ANY chances with today and:

  • Brought my own salad
  • Brought leftover peas
  • Brought leftover brussel sprouts
  • Brought raw radishes to eat with the salad or separately
  • Made sure my provolone cheese stash was properly fortified.

It was unfortunate that the pizza was from Pizza Hut.  It did not smell the same as pizzaria pizza.  It was very distinctive.  So I decided to have the toppings off of 1 slice (triangle, pie-sliced shape, not small square) that had vegetables on it - even if had meat, which it had pepperoni.  It was very difficult to get the cheese to separate from the crust, which I thought was rather odd.  I discarded the crust which was HUGE.  Then I had the radishes and the salad.  I was still hungry so I had a slice or 2 of cheese.  That worked.

After the cards were signed and put together in the envelopes, etc., I stayed behind to warm up my brussel sprouts with 1 TBSP of butter, salt, and Mrs. Dash.  Ate that at my desk at wround 2:30p.  Then I started getting very "munchy" like I was hungry but could not feel satisfied.  I had another slice of cheese, some pepperoni slices (about 70 calories worth), and 2 beef jerky sticks (130 calories).  I tried having coffee, which can sometimes take the edge off of "munchy" -- did not help.  I was FULL but I was not SATISFIED.

Came home late after getting gas for the car.  Unfortunately, husband made soup and salad for dinner.  It was chicken & vegetable in broth (so not a cream-based soup).  It was delicious, but after the wacky lunch I had, I really just wanted something substantial.  So I had a bowl of soup, a plateful of salad with creamy Caesar dressing, and then a cup of decaf.  

After my evening bike-ride - a necessity, since I didn't get my lunchtime walk - I just had about 10 almonds (70 calories), but like I said, I feel like I could scarf down both what's left of the almonds AND the entire bag of walnuts.  

An interesting side-note:  everyone that had the pizza crust was in the bathroom after we came up.  Everyone.  Later, I heard Queen Bee complaining about whatever was in the pizza was making her tummy not happy. (words to that effect)  She had like 3 or 4 slices, but she made a comment about my crust, and the last piece she had, she didn't eat the crust.  

Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/14/2018:
My office Christmas Party also had me going "off plan" for sure. don't fret. it's better than just a binge only for emotional reasons :) so be glad to stay on track emotionally...that's what i keep telling myself all month right now, with my higher cals. That i'm doing the best i can in the moment.

yeah, i totally get you on the pizza hut pizza! gotta say, i'm glad you brought your goodies so you could remain pretty responsible. I'd have been in the SAME BOAT as you regarding that kinda lunch...and would DEF be craving veggies and something more filling.

The whole emotions of the day i am quite SURE led to your munchy feelings. ??? i get that way when things are a bit up in the air at work or busier than usual...or with more socializing.

At least you got a LOT of tasty veggies in....and your hubby had something for you...i totally get the feeling of wanting something else to just finally satisfy you....surprisingly the thing that pretty much always does the trick for me when i've been running around and come home late is carbs..either a banana or granola bar and a tastty light drink of some sort....helps me go to bed.

i know the feeling of being unsatisfied all day...now it's a blip in your past and you can continue on as a typical J-Donk...

well, Pizza Hut is not known for healthy and i believe the pizza is def quite oily? What does she expect after 4 slices haha.

Donkey on 12/14/2018:
Rather than a salad, I should have brought more raw vegetables to eat.

I had 3 eggs for breakfast, instead of my usual protein bar, and then a large banana that had to get eaten. If I had to do it over again, I would have had the protein bar and then a grapefruit.

It definitely could have been subliminal emotions that caused me to react in the afternoon. I really hadn't considered that. I'm going to be very aware of that today.

BearCountryGG on 12/14/2018:
Maybe the toppings didn't affect you because you only had a small amt....and the others ate enough to bother them...I'm surprised that the crust could be the issue food poisoning wise...but you never know.......at least you avoided all of that...and that is a good thing. And by the way...thank you for the heads up about my breakfast ( thursday)....it really made me think and I'm doing a lot of blood testing today to figure it all out...Thanks again!!!

Donkey on 12/14/2018:
You are welcome :) In looking back to yesterday, I probably should have had a 2nd slice of pizza toppings, but I felt bad that the amount of crust I was throwing away was huge. Not so much that I was throwing it away, but that it was HUGE and quite noticeable.

There are a LOT of things I would have done differently yesterday.

Donkey - Wednesday Dec 12, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 125.5

A couple of things I didn't mention yesterday:

  • Finally bought me some grapefruit!  Oh how delicious! 
  • Monday night, it was lights out before 9pm and what wonderful sleep I got.  Last night (so Tuesday night), I tried the same routine, but didn't turn out the lights until 9:20p, and my sleep was not as good. 

Today is the last day of normalcy at work before 2 days of eating challenges.  I can do this.  

Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/12/2018:
Yes...you can do this!!! I can't have grapefruit in the house....D is on a triglyceride med..( cholesterol meds are the same)...and it negates the pill.....so he isn't allowed and he craves grapefruit...I do keep a stash of the Dole little grapefruit cups...and he found them one day....and it was actually pitiful....He looked like a kid who had just had his candy taken away.......( they aren't as healthy...but still good)...although when they are gone..i probably won't buy them again because of him.

graindart on 12/12/2018:
Just picked up a big bag of them last night myself, now that they're back in season. Really got hooked on them this Spring and missed eating them over summer due to being mostly out of season. Could still buy them at certain stores, but they didn't taste very good.

legcramps on 12/12/2018:
I'm not a fan of grapefruit, but I am a big fan of getting lots of sleep! I wish I could get to bed that early. Maybe tonight.

horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2018:
Sleeping has been weird for me too...at least it doesn't have to be so perfect every night...as long as over half are there...i'm not obsessing over it...just happy when i get it. last night mine was interrupted too..i know the reason - my mind was still active when i was going to sleep due to the social event and louder type of night that it was.

:) you can do this...oh and good job on grapefruit. i like to have it at home, when i can enjoy eating a bigger, delicious fruit and take my time with it!

Donkey - Tuesday Dec 11, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 125.5

Not as much time to post today.  Last night, we (myself, Mr. Donkey, son) went to a burger place for a fundraiser for one of the animal shelters.  It wasn't a party, just 20% of our order goes to the shelter.  That was so nice and what a change of pace!  However, I was faced with many non-keto choices.  So instead, I happened to find calorie approximations on their menu (a delightful surprise and SO helpful!), and then I just adjusted my portions to meet a reasonable calorie level.  That is what I have done in the past, so that when I'm faced with these non-conforming situations, I can still participate and enjoy and not overindulge. 

I'm glad I limited my portions because had I not, dinner would have felt like a lead brick rather than just being pleasantly satisfied.

Also, reminder and lesson to myself after yesterday morning's back pain:  I will never again overtly criticize my fat knees or thick thighs or German milkmaid calves.  As long as they work and I can move and remain active, then my body is GREAT.  

Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!

graindart on 12/11/2018:
I keep seeing hamburgers advertised everywhere lately and now you're talking about them too. I must be craving a nice big loaded cheeseburger.

Good job adapting your order when the situation didn't fit perfectly into your plan.

Donkey on 12/12/2018:
I ended up getting an Italian beef sandwich.

legcramps on 12/11/2018:
LOL, I totally agree with your reminder; I feel much the same way lately!

BearCountryGG on 12/11/2018:
Good way to figure out what fits into your needs.......I also really dislike that oveerfull bloated feeling.....it really isn't worth it......and so true...if your legs work then they are doing their job perfectly!!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2018:
yes, pain is no good for anything....and it's so much better to just be outta pain in the real spectrum of things you'd want...wishing you a continued smooth recovery...

also, nice job last night. did you hear about the fundraiser dinner thru the shelter? that's awesome they do that.

last year i went to a fundraiser dinner where some of the restaurant proceeds also go to in this case something with the union i'm involved in...the restaurant was horrible in terms of healthy choices. i forget right now but everything on the menu had calories listed, the problem was that the choices were downright not even there..i'll try to think of the restaurant. it's a chain and old-school type of place. i'm sure you have this particular place by you...maybe i'll remember the name tonight!

Donkey - Monday Dec 10, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 125.5

I was determined to be ready to leave for work so that I could watch a TV show at 8am for as long as possible before having to leave, but then I thought that I'd much rather log on to DD and chat with you all.  I made the right choice!

I woke up this morning, not doing so well, though.  First I noticed that I was sneezing more than just an irritated sneeze.  These were deep, tingly sneezes that you feel dissapating through your body when you're done.  Then my nose kept running.  And coughed up a small glob of congestion (albeit clear, not infected) from the throat/sinuses.  So I am swabbing zinc up my nose all day today. Cannot get sick.

But even worse, my back started acting up -- for no reason that I can discern!  At first I thought it was just a morning ache/twinge.  But then it kind of kept happening, like it was saying "I'm thinking about popping out of alignment - nope.  Oh maybe this time I'll pop out - nope."  In the spirit of turning my back's NOPE into my HOPE, I am wearing my truss/girdle/brace thingy today.  Oh it is so uncomfortable - bulky - but it really does help keep my frame stabilized.  My back acts like a brat, and if I cater to it early on, almost all of the time, I can prevent it from getting worse.  So that is what I am doing.

If I had a job where I could just call in sick, I would take today - or at least this morning - off, so that I could alternate lying flat and walking nice & easy, and work those hot and cold compresses.

Queen Bee will be out of the office today and tomorrow, delivering our firm's Christmas gifts.  So that will be a blessing to me today.  Gotta find these little blessings where we can.

Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/10/2018:
Hope you feel better....and yes...go in when Queen Bee isn't there....That is a break in itself. I think we will all feel better when the holidays are over...this is such a stressful time of year.

horn_of_plenty on 12/10/2018:
lol DD instead of tv! wow, priorities!

oh no..at least you are trying to treat the stiffles you have...yes to zinc and extra vitamin C and also rest.

good job also trying to help your back out. my administrator, a guy that comes in here now and then, also was talking of his back that went out last week thursday...he said "it put in a bad mood!" ..makes sense! he seems to be better now!

interetsing she gets to deliver the gifts...would you want to do that!? lol

graindart on 12/10/2018:
Being proactive with your back is smart. I usually wait until I hurt mine before slowing down for a few days.

Donkey - Sunday Dec 09, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 125.5

For some reason, I woke up this morning, really motivated and excited about working my maintenance program.  Not sure why, LOL.  Just looking forward to my bike ride and doing well today.  Yesterday, I was doing some research into yoga classes through the parks departments.  We actually belong to 2 park districts, so I have 2 options.  I have to do the calculations with the cost per class.  One of the classes is led by the woman who leads Chair Yoga.  Going back to my previous entry about feeling some discomfort at Chair Yoga, I'm not sure I want to take a weekly class with her...  The other class (in the other town) is harder to get to and get home from.  I don't think a small difference in price can override that, especially in nasty-driving winter weather.

There is an actual yoga studio that is much closer to my home.  Theoretically, in nice, well-lit weather, I could ride my bike there.  However, it's more expensive, and I'm not sure any of the packages would work for me.

I found a yoga DVD, that I tried a long time ago, at Goodwill.  I'm thinking maybe I should use that before I start searching out classes.  It may be all that I need.  It's Rodney Yee's AM/PM Yoga, two 20-minute programs. Using that would definitely help me get started, especially with the yoga benefits themselves. I'm giving this to me for Christmas.  I came across a cookbook at Goodwill that was something like 365 veggie burger recipies.  Ever since I saw that episode in Walking Dead where the one guy (who was later consumed, along with his pet goat, by zombies) survived on veggie burgers, I've been interested in trying to incorporate something like that in my life.  Not the zombies, the vegetable-based burger.  Not to cut out meat entirely but rather to explore more plant-based meals. 

(I think a couple of you may be smiling & rolling your eyes at me right now at my wishful thinking.)

That goal would go nicely with my goal to try more vegetable side dishes.  I have a crockpot cookbook that has some delicious sounding vegetable sides that are easy and fairly keto  Like InnerPeace said, ya get tired of eating green beans after a while...  The same thing happens to me with beef and chicken, though, too.  

Our new kitty is missing in the house, LOL.  She came out a little more yesterday and this morning, but now has gone into hiding.  It's better if she comes out to us on her own terms anyway.  


Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/09/2018:
I remember Rodney Yee.....I used to use his videos too.......That is a great place to start....and when it comes to classes....you may feel even more comfy there when you have done some of the poses at home already...I think it would be that way for me anyway.......Poor kitty....is she afraid of people...or your older cat? You might need to close some interior doors to limit her hiding places.

graindart on 12/09/2018:
Might check YouTube for some online yoga videos too.

I'm tired of eating the same foods all the time. It's definitely time for a new meat to be carried in the local grocery stores. My vote is for penguin.

Maria7 on 12/09/2018:
I bet your kitty is so cute. Congrats on doing real well maintaining.

Donkey - Saturday Dec 08, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 125.5

I'm surprised that my weigh-in wasn't higher this week:  didn't walk at lunch, didn't ride my bike in the evening, had a very salty dinner.  Plus bathroom issues (which resolved themselves AFTER weighing in) and hormones...  It seems to me that ANY week that I do weight-resistance training (whether it be hand-held weights or body-weight counterbalance, e.g. squats, push-ups), the numbers on the scale are higher.  ALWAYS.  I see that this is an issue that I want to reconcile within myself.  Perhaps weighing in less often will help.  I almost did not weigh in this morning with the bloated feeling I had in my hands, I thought for sure the number would be much higher on the scale.

So -- I did not walk at lunch yesterday because we adopted a new kitty!  I thought she would be a good fit for the cat that we already have, but now that she's out of the shelter and in our house, the new kitty is very shy.  Last night, I was a little down in the dumps, thinking that I chose the wrong cat.  I hope that it will just take some time.  In fact, I think that's mostly it, because she's not a bad kitty.  She's just a little scared & uncertain right now.  She likes to be held, she's eating and using her box, so she's healthy.

Chair yoga was OK.  Apparently, it's not a highly attended event.  The same 4 or 5 guys that were there in July were still the only ones who attend.  No wives, although we're invited.  IDK, I like the yoga enough -- not in love with it, but maybe its the instructor and/or the room we're in, too - but I feel not exactly comfortable there.  My husband likes it enough to get out of the house, and that's the important thing - to get him out of the house, around other people.

The Veterans Christmas party went well for myself.  My husband had a really good time.  I had scrambled eggs, 3 sausage links, and 3 cups of coffee.  I had completely forgot that they said we could bring something to share.  Now that I know, next year, I will bring more coffee supplies and fresh-cut fruit platter or salad (just cut-up fruit in a big bowl or tray).  I hope that we can be more involved with this group next year.  Out of the activites that are planned for 2019, there at least 6 outings that we can do together.  Bowling and dance lessons are the 2 that I'd like to do, but I don't think my husband can do that any more with his limitations.

Between last night's greasy, salty dinner and today's brunch, I am craving fresh vegetables.  I plan on having a bunch for either 3pm snack or at dinner.  Brunch is sitting kind of heavy right now, but took 2 Tums, which I hope will help.  I'm doing laundry now and have to get started on decorating my ugly Christmas sweater for Friday's party.

Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!

graindart on 12/08/2018:
Glad to see the weigh-in didn't shoot up a bunch. That's always my fear.......being "good" 95% of the time and having the scale slap my across the face for all my effort.

Donkey on 12/09/2018:
Keen observation - thank you! I have to remember, with these diversions from my usual meals and activities, that a gain of 1-2 pounds is still maintenance.

Yesterday, I didn't do as much activity as I might on a Saturday, either, and in the evening, I was like, You know, that's OK. I was still pretty active.

Like a higher calorie day on Friday, Friday and Saturday were lower activity days. Still active - just not as much.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/09/2018:
Hi there Mrs. Claus! haha, i'm thinking of the holiday photos from yesterday ;)

I think it makes sense to weigh in more if you do the resistance training...as after you work the muscles, they become fuller and inflamed as the little tears you make in them while lifting weights are working to form more muscle...and maybe you are holding some water in the muscles?

well, it's wonderful you can even hold this new kitty! happy congratulations on your new adpotee in your home! how awesome! it's so nutty when you make a new adoption...they are usually so scared. you know it takes awhile for the animal to adjust to it's new home :)

You can always drop him off at the chair yoga and then pick him up...can you do another errand while he's there? a supermarket nearby?

your husband looked great in the photos :) i hope you can do a couple more events. Maybe your husband can come for the bowling, even if he doesn't bowl.

i cannot wait to see your Ugly sweater...good idea to decorate it yourself....duh...i shall remember that for the next Ugly Sweater party i ever attend! lol

Donkey on 12/09/2018:
I think that if I dropped my husband off at yoga, that he would just elect not to go. He's kind of funny about doing social things alone. Not that he couldn't, but just that he wouldn't.

I took the easy way out with the Ugly Sweater. When it came down to it, minimal effort was the deciding factor. Duct tape is my friend.

Donkey - Friday Dec 07, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 124.5

Trying hard not to dwell on discontentment that work brings me during what should be a pleasant time of year.  Why does it upset me that they are giving my work to my Nice Lady Co-Worker (the one who is 68 yrs old -- me in 20 years)?  As long as I get paid for what I do and have insurance from my boss, why should this bother me so much?  It bothers me because this doesn't follow the protocal.  It's "outside the box" -- "outside the lines".  She's not supposed to be doing ANY real estate.  But then they gave her the files with an agent who didn't want to work with me any more.  OK, that's fine (truly a blessing in disguise). 

But now they're talking about giving her another realtor, who only wants to deal with one person - so that person would be Nice Lady, because there is nobody in the office who can see all files from beginning to end.  (I do purchases from beginning to end, but not sales.)  This structure is the way my boss wants it done; other busy law firms have each assistant see their files from beginning to end.  Whatever.  

My husband is like, this is something you can't control, you spoke up, they dismissed your statement, so it is what it is.  And he's RIGHT.  The only thing I can control is how I react.  THIS SHOULD NOT BOTHER ME.  Why would I want MORE work for the same wage?  I shouldn't.   And logically, I don't.  I guess what really bothers me is that they're giving this work to Nice Lady, and that my boss is letting this happen.  

Another unexpected party announced this week.  We will be having an in-office pizza party as we gather to sign the Christmas cards we do for a mass-mailing.  There are like 200 cards to sign that we send out to realtors to wish them happy holidays.  So I can handle this one of 3 ways:

  • Ask my boss to order me a salad a la carte from the menu;
  • Bring my own big salad to eat;
  • Bring my own raw vegetables to eat with the pizza toppings without the crust, so that all I would be eating from the pizza is the cheese & toppings.  This isn't truly keto because the pizza sauce has sugar in it.  But if I have raw vegetables, I can limit myself to 2 square pieces of pizza toppings.

I'm leaning towards #3 as the most polite, least offensive option.

Tonight, my husband and I are going to Chair Yoga, and then grab a dinner at a simple diner. These things are hard to do the night before weigh-in.  

Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/07/2018:
Sometimes it's hard to just climb into someone elses head and know what they are thinking. As long as the pay checks keep rolling in and you show up, keep busy and spend your expected time there...then there isn't much else you can do. Chair yoga sounds like fun.......enjoy your dinner out.

Donkey on 12/08/2018:
Will comment on today's entry :)

graindart on 12/07/2018:
I vote option #4 - eat a slice or two of pizza and enjoy it. You're in maintenance, enjoy the occasional treat.

Of course if you've already done that at other times this week, I can see why it might not be a wise choice.

Donkey on 12/08/2018:
You know, I didn't even consider option #4. Thank you for pointing this out :)

innerpeace on 12/07/2018:
You have passion about your work and want to see it from beginning to end, to make sure it gets done right? Ownership! most people don't have that and blame someone else or pass the buck. But you are wise to see it is out of your control, so just do what you must do get through the day.

good luck with your lunch choice, I would bring my own salad.

Donkey on 12/08/2018:
You get exactly where I'm coming from. You're right, I just have to remember the logic part - that it doesn't matter - separated from the emotional part.

horn_of_plenty on 12/07/2018:
IF it's a blessing in disguise, try not to let it bother you that she's doing that work. She's old anyways, so she's not taking your job....if i were you, i'd totally just go with the flow.

EVERY workplace has a LOT of politics. Including mine. I'm low key worker and under one person in specific, but, if i weren't ...oh, things would bother me SO MUCH MORE! really, i see so many politics and work shifted between people...i advise you to let the things that are OUT of your control pass...really, why dwell if you are being paid and getting your work done - i am in full agreement with your husband. When things are out of your control, it's a waste of your energies to dwell on something not in your power to change. What you should only focus on is how to keep your position and do your work so that you are irreplaceable...get me? and so far, it always seems that is your attitude - which is good..

you can have a slice of pizza or just toppings or WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT TO DO. Nobody will force you to eat how you don't want to...in this case, the power is all yours. here, you can make a decision and it's fully yours - unlike the other office scenario with nice lady, above.

enjoy what you can...i didn't know you were eating keto only?

you can even bring lots of veggies and everything and have a "side" of part of a slice of pizza just to taste like it was a slice of bread...i have done this at a pizza party a couple times last year when i was in the trailer and every week there was at least one pizza party if not more! here, you can do anything your heart desires and do NOT feel bad about it!

Donkey on 12/08/2018:
I can't really do "whatever it is I want to do" without the consequences of gaining weight - I mean with respect to the pizza! (Not my co-worker issue - LOL!)

I'm doing a modified keto, actually. If I want a banana or beans, I let myself because I think that nutritionally, that's better than chocolate or chips.

Maybe I misread your remark, that what you are really saying that is if I want to have vegetables or my own salad, go for it.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/08/2018:
yes the latter - if you wanna be healthy, nobody's stopping you at the upcoming work lunch :-P

Donkey - Wednesday Dec 05, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 124.5

The next 3 days are the best work days ever because Queen Bee will be out of the office!

I had a revelation yesterday, and wanted to post about it, but thought I'd let it sit in overnight and instead started working on my Ugly Christmas Sweater for the work party next Friday.

Maybe it was the pair of pants that I was wearing, or maybe it's actually true, but it really dawned on me - like Heavenly angels or a light bulb or something - that this is it. I'm there.  I've arrived.  Have you ever told yourself:

  • When I'm thin, I'll...
  • When I lose the weight I will...
  • I can't (whatever) now but once I lose the weight I can....

Well, I'm at that point where now is the time to move forward with things I've put off because I thought I was too fat.  For example, I would tell myself that once I lost weight, I would dress nicer for work.  Now I can do that.  I haven't been, because I'm stuck in the "Before".

Perhaps you do not think this way, or perhaps it was evident to you that I'm in the "After", but I hadn't really realized or *felt* this until yesterday.  I've always been focused on my flaws, but I coached myself last night and said (to myself), "You know, you can't have gone through 48 years without some battle scars to show for it."

I've said here before that there is no "Before and After" because Every.Day.Is.A.Battle. And I have also said that there is no Day One to start over; every day is Day One to do better, NOW is the time to do something about yourself, not Day One.  I still believe that this is true, but I also realize that in all the times that I've lost this same weight over and over - and this time has been no exception - that I never get to that point of celebrating the accomplishment and fulfilling those empty promises to myself that, "Once I've lost weight, I can..."

Maybe today is the Day One for THAT, ha ha!


Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!

graindart on 12/05/2018:
I don't have anything that I've really put off until reaching goal. I don't have any big "reward" planned or anything that I was looking forward to doing once meeting goal.

Maybe I'll be more inclined to take the girls swimming more often when most of the chub is gone. Although the source of my being self-conscious might transfer from being too fat to being too pasty white to take off my shirt now......

There's always something to make you feel self-conscious and stop you from doing something...... Now I'm off to find a fake tanning salon (just kidding).

BearCountryGG on 12/05/2018:
Celebrating YOU!!!!! I love that!!!

horn_of_plenty on 12/05/2018:
yes, for many years i felt that i couldn't do things till i'm a certain weight and look a certain way...now?...now i'm in the moment too! i no longer need to wait till i look a certain way...i'm there.

like you, it took me awhile to even get comfortable changing my attire and dressing for my "new body." and my body is still changing.

my parents never EVER set a precedent of commitment of exercise - well, my dad does actually...but they never explained to me the importance and my mom is old school thinking that lifting weights produces a manly body. it was totally me,myself and i that had an urge to exercise and thought it'd do me good...and the progress and changes are just amazing. so, keep on!

i agree, there's no "before and after...the after is continuous, not a one-time thing. the after is maintenance...

happy-1 on 12/05/2018:
I can't wait to see Graindart post bodybuilding photos spray tanned muppet orange.

Good on you for owning your success!!! Time to celebrate!

Donkey on 12/07/2018:
Ha Ha Ha!!!

Donkey - Monday Dec 03, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 124.5

Today ended up being a much better day than how it started.  Boy, I was in a fog this morning, just could not focus... kind of still feeling this cloud of sadness from the weekend.  Got to work and my computer passwords needed to be reset.  One of them worked, but the other didn't, so I had to call our IT department to override the administrative lock on my computer and reset my password.  Then it took my computer forever to start up the programs.  And while this is going on, my boss is talking to me about a file and the phone keeps ringing.  And all I wanted to do was get to the coffee machine as soon as possible!

I have decided to help with healing here at home, that now is the time to add a new cat to our house.  I took all the steps except bringing the cat carrier in my car.  It so happens that the animal control adoption offices are right across the street from where I work.  They have reduced adoption fees for cats because of all the stray cats coming in from the cold.  I have all month, so I'm not rushing this, but taking steps to do this.  I think it will help lift all of our spirits.

Queen Bee is off of the eggs and string cheese diet.  She had a Burger King Whopper for lunch  (at her desk) and the whole office smelled like really strong onions.  Just what we want for clients coming to the office to meet with the attorneys.

I had a nice long walk at lunch, at a brisk pace (for most of it - I got tired towards the end and dragged a little bit).  But lunch sat in my stomach like a rock, and I'm not sure since I had a salad with a few strips of baked chicken and green beans with butter.  It was so uncomfortable that I didn't have an afternoon snack, because I was afraid that eating more would just make it worse or make me get sick.  The feeling lasted until I came home for dinner and I ate through it.  At the end of dinner, though, that uncomfortable feeling was gone, and I just felt full.  I'm going to have some herbal tea as I get ready for bed, and I hope to sleep better than I did last night -- and for longer!

Kind of along the same lines as Bear, in thinking about goals for 2019, that 2018 was the year that nothing went according to plan.  There's a lesson in there, somewhere, probably, and if I meditated, perhaps I could gleam some wisdom from that.  But the Donkey in me just wants to say:  STUFF IT, 2018.

Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 12/04/2018:
lol, you just reminded me that my password is expiring also...grrrr, have to set it this week also!

right!? today i thought to BUY coffee on the way to work for a larger amount...not smart...i ran out of time so i didn't ...luckily. not smart to waste $ on outside coffee...it does taste really good tho!

yay...a new baby kitty!!!! :)

burger king is a strong odorous smell lol....lol, how could anyone last on that horrible string cheese and eggs diet anyways! she's gross!

maybe it was a bit of food sickness from something not good?

i'm not even up to goals for 2019, maybe mine are to keep on, keep reading and expanding my mind on my commute, eat salmon, be healthier, keep working on cardio to make it better.

BearCountryGG on 12/04/2018:
Well one thing is for sure...2018 is almost behinbd us....and we can make 2019 anything we want it to be........And if plan A doesn't fit into the plan...then move along to plan B....be like a tree.....and bend......because if trees didn't bend...they would break. Was that romaine lettuce?

BearCountryGG on 12/04/2018:
AWWWW...I would love to get another cat......we do have one ( not ours)...that makes his rounds here 2 times a day....walks down the driveway...goes out back and makes the dogs bark....and then walks back out of the driveway again...he looks like a tough guy....( we once had a cat that was half house cat and half bobcat).....he didn't purr....he sounded like a motorboat...called him BigDaddy....we had one with all four feet doubled...his feet were enourmous...called him Uncle Grandpa...LOL...Then there was Shadow and jasmine...jasmine lived well into her 20's...If I was younger...I think I would get another cat.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/04/2018:
the post of mine with that quote, i took it off bc nobody liked it....grrr....ah well.

i think i'm going to pull back on my facebook fitness posts because it's over the top even for the few friends that i post it to.

i have to remember to exercise for me, not for the world...and thankfully i am finally self motivated so...yeah...i guess i should know better at 36.

sad not to have the outlet as much as i'd like to though!

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