I do not know how anyone can say that they really love and appreciate the work that I do for their clients and then turn around and say, "I know she can be unaccessable or crabby sometimes..." WHAT?!? OMG... Well, fire me then, so that I can collect unemployment. My male co-worker says that I can't really let these things bother me. They've all happened to him and then are forgiven. Whatever. I'm unaccessable because the client needs to speak with an attorney and they are out, shopping, at the law library, having lunch at the title company, having lunch with the family, running errands, etc. If I sound crabby, well... I push. I push to get things done. Clients may not like that but I do what it takes to get the deal done. I'm not a counselor, I'm not an attorney, I'm not a fairy godmother with a magic wand.
Came home, ate dinner, loaded up the dishwasher, walk around the yard with my son showing him spots for tomorrow's mowing that need attention. Come back inside and it's 7:30p.
I stayed up too late on Tuesday because we had to take Daughter to the ER -- for nothing. Last night, the cat got all upset about a visting cat on our deck, so that woke me up at 3:27a. Then I figured I should go outside and get my purse out of the locked car because someone might just break in. Woke up EXHAUSTED. So 2 days at work where I'm running on empty before I even get started.
In all this exhaustion and craziness, I'm finding it very hard to just eat my way through everything. My male co-worker, who is under as much stress as I am, just grabbed a big bag of chips and started plowing right through it.
Now it's time to get ready for bed.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
I'm still here, just too busy lately, mostly trying to catch up at work from the shortened work week.
The cake is out of the refrigerator, so this is no longer an issue for me. I strongly suspect that it isn't completely gone, but out of sight.... well it's still on my mind, obviously! (LOL!!!)
Our houseguest, the boyfriend, left today. I did not have the opportunityto say good-bye last night as I had planned, so I ended up leaving him a post-it.
I've been eating more than usual lately, so I have no expectations for Saturday's with-in, but I'll keep trying. Most everything is in check, but my lunches have been larger and with more carbs.
I think I mentioned that they changed the taste of the protein powder I've been buying, so I no longer take shakes to work for second breakfast. Tastes yucky. But what to do with all that leftover powder? I have been adding a small scoop (1 Tbsp?) of the vanilla protein powder, thanks to happy's suggestion. It's delicious!
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
you can offer it to your son.
i put the protein powder in my oatmeal to make it more satisfying and filling since oatmeal doesn't generally have much protein. i add extra sweetener (stevia as you know i use) bc i also don't love the taste of my protein powder...
now that bf has left, i think your eating will go more back to normal.
Confession time: I'm struggling with having this graduation cake in the house.
Yesterday, I had a large salad for breakfast at around 10am, and then cake at around 1pm. And as I was finishing the cake, I said, this is the last of the cake for me. This usually works, except that I had another piece last night after dinner. The problem - for me - is that nobody likes the edge pieces because there is a lot of frosting, so those get left behind. Well, that's the part that I LOVE..... and I wouldn't want to waste cake, that's like a crime against humanity.
I may have "offset" some of the damage by having a very active day- over 20,000 steps per my FitBit, but I don't like to play to that mentality of "Oh I exercised so it's OK to eat (insert unhealthy food here)." For me, that can lead to a self-defeating mindset and a slippery slope.
And here's the dumbest part -- the reasoning behind having cake last night was my drinking-water-during-dinner challenge - which is supposed to help me NOT eat more for dinner. UGH! I had only gotten in one glass of water during dinner, and had most of my second glass left. What better way to finish my 2nd glass of water (per my challenge) than to have a piece of cake? Right? WRONG!
Anyway, I will pledge to do better today. Personally, I think I'm having a hard time with the realization that my daughter is growing up and will be leaving us (me) behind soon. And so if there's still cake to eat, then the graduation isn't really over, and I don't have to deal with reality.
On the other hand, we have our 20 year old son who I think, left to his own devices, would be living in our basement until he's 40. Ah, he's still working on getting back into the Air Force - fingers crossed - and if that works out the way it SHOULD, he'll be gone next year as well. He just needs to get out more. Once he finds a job, then he will start having his own life back again. Right now, he's working out and then hanging out at home ALL the time. Daughter (and the boyfriend, who is here until Wednesday) works and goes out; she's seldom home.
*sigh* I will do better today.
AFTERNOON EDIT: Logging in so that I'm SURE I don't partake of any more cake... The struggle is real.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
That's the only thing that would keep me from eating it daily until it's gone. Oh, and I'd have to take the trash bag to the dumpster, otherwise I might still be tempted to grab a fork and eat the middle section that "hadn't touched the other garbage".
(only partially kidding about being tempted to eat out of the garbage can)
Being in the freezer normally wouldn't stop me, but it might be enough for now.
i'm glad there's a way he can still get back in!
i was tempted by a boatload of desserts yesterday and so proud of myself for not finishing either and only trying a few bites. so instead of being very off track, i'm getting back ;)
Way too many leftovers in the refrigerator... I'd been craving a fresh salad, but you can't have salad for breakfast, can you? Well, I waited to have a later breakfast at almost 10a, and had salad.
I wanted to add that after we finished up the cake and ice cream from the graduation party, I had a 13 hour fast. I was feeling "munchy" at around 7pm but wasn't really hungry. Just wanted to eat out of habit. So I waited until 8pm, and was still feeling "munchy" but not hungry. Made plans to go to bed instead. So hopefully that helped balance calories out. My fingers were too swollen to wear my wedding band this morning though, which is probably due to the extra salt from eating out yesterday (French dip) and the humid weather.
Went for a walk outside at around 11am. After about 20 minutes, the bright sun and humidty started to get to me. I'm probably staying in, now, until this evening. Or at least until there is more shade outside.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
Up half a pound but as long as I'm under 130, I consider it "happy maintenance land". After today's graduation festivities for my daughter, though, I'm not so sure what next week will bring. Kind of a heavy lunch of French dip sandwich and then a large piece of cake to celebrate.
It was a wonderful day, and I'm so proud of my daughter. She's not sure what her next step will be -- although she's fairly certain that it won't be in Illinois -- but I'd rather she take a little time to figure it out than to rush into something that she's not ready for or not really interested in.
Decided not to drive to continue the visiting with our out-of-town guests as I think everyone is very tired and very full and would just like to relax.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
Glad you all had a great day and that you are relaxing a bit. It's important to be able to have a little down time here and there especially if that's what you enjoy! That's how I'm doing it as of late :) Busy days but time to recoop here and there also. Keeps me happy and the stress lower.
One more thing to add to my list of things that one should not eat in large quantities:
I wonder if I will regret this as items #1 and #2... Tomorrow will tell.
So this was at 3:30p and husband grilled a delicious dinner with a nice big salad and fruit salad. And I was so full from the kale :-( that it was hard to partake much less eat. But I did have a piece of meat and some salad. Why did I eat if I wasn't hungry, you might ask? I dunno, says Donkey. A couple of reasons:
And right now, I'm comfortably full. It was a struggle to get in the 2 cups of water, though... Today I did not do as well with the water, unless I lost count. Sometimes I do that, especially when I'm at work, and I just fill up my water bottle but don't log it in FitBit right away.
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
Happy Friday...3day weekend!?
Happy Friday...3day weekend!?
I have been eating a large salad nightly (mostly lettuce with a light vinaigrette and few or no other toppings). The taste / texture of the salad is marginal, but feeling full on something does offer some satisfaction for me.
Very quickly here because it's late... Had a brutally busy day at work, came home early, which for me means leaving away 5:15p because otherwise I would have stayed until 6p or 6:30p, rushed home, rushed through dinner (Subway), and then went to Senior Awards Night ... 2 gruelling hours on bleachers just to watch my daughter stand for 10 seconds with about 100 other kids. *sigh*
But I got my 2 cups of water at dinner!
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
well, tomorrow is FRIDAY :) yay!
My drinking-water-during-dinner challenge has clarified itself all on its own. My overall goal is to get 2 cups of ice water during dinner. That's about all I can do on a regular basis.
I accomplished that but still took second helpings on salad. The point is to drink water to avoid ALL second helpings. This is to accomplish lower calories. I should add that the salad had croutons, which is kind of ouchie ouchie.
My activity level, if you go by daily steps, has increased so far this week.
Just bracing now for Daughter's graduation on Saturday.
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
congrats to your daughter!
proud of you for accomplishing so many things, social events, person success.
I had a lovely time at the wedding, although there was no wedding cake, which was a huge disappointment for me. I decided to go into to work late- a gift to myself - regardless of what awaits me in my emails and task calendar.
EVENING EDIT: Glad I went in later this morning, but couldn't quite avoid my boss's "How was your weekend, how was the wedding" blah blah blah. It was much less than usual, but still -- Just let me work.
To his credit, though, my boss did talk to the associate about how to resolve the issue relating to the drama -- but didn't address anything with me. My boss seemed to think I wasn't mad at the associate at all -- which I think I was more hurt than anything. Only "mad" in the sense that I was like, Is this guy trying to get me fired so his assistant gets more work?
So this afternoon, the associate attorney and his assistant (who does bankruptcy) were talking about something relating to the drama from last week, and it got really awkward. I was getting some strange vibes from the assistant, like she thought I was mad at her, so I confronted her and just let her know, It's OK that this matter has been resolved this way, and I really am fine with you handling these files... and then I went further -- even though in my head, I'm hearing Horn of Plenty say STOP THIS (LOL) -- and said it feels like your boss is trying to get me fired so you have more work to do, and that's what's really bothering me.
Wow, after I got that off my chest, I felt so much better! And things were better between the 2 of us after that. But she likes to stir up things at the office, right? So she went and talked to the associate, who then approached me and said, "do you have time to talk?"
And after we talked, I felt so much better and I think he did too.
As I was reading all of it you had me on the edge of my seat!
Today is the Wedding Day!!! I'm so excited! I know I wrote how much I was dreading this, but now that it's here - and having watched the royal wedding yesterday - I'm just so excited to be a part of this couple's happiness.
So I did a naughty thing this morning and weighed in again. I'm not sure why, perhaps because I was feeling hungry and lighter, and I'm quite pleased to say that it was the same number as I had yesterday. What bothers me so much about my weigh-ins is how much my body's weight seems to fluctuate. That is why I've limited myself to weekly weigh-ins only. Otherwise ths scale drives me nuts, and nobody needs that kind of additional stress and negativity in their lives.
While I did not reach any of my "looking fabulous" goals that I had for this wedding initially -- before I went to the bridal shower and came back feeling quite sad that we're all getting older and family members are struggling with their own health issues -- I think I did quite well losing a few very difficult pounds. OK, so maybe it was just 2 pounds, but like Gains says, weighing 129 feels so much lighter than weighing 130 or 131 - LOL!
Finally, I'm debating whether to go in late to work tomorrow. I have on the calendar that I'm coming in at 10am -- which I usually reserve the option to do after busy weekends. Last weekend with the band competition, even though I was very tired, I still came in on time -- or early. I will have to see how I feel this evening and, more importantly, tomorrow morning. Even though I do want to earn as much money as possible, I may just need that extra hour tomorrow morning. Plus, coming in at 10am eliminates the opportunity for a lot of bull**** chatter, like "how was your weekend?" "what did you do?", etc., which I really don't want to participate in, especially with last week's drama. The less personal, the better, really.
Lastly, as I continue to heal and resolve my own conflict about the work drama, I realized this morning, that this is probably the only job I've had where people are actually rewarded for bad behavior. So I should totally take advantage of that, and continue to earn and save as much money as I possibly can now for the future. I'd like to talk to my husband about maybe having a 5-year plan for us.
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
I was also stepping on the scale too much lately and it's doing me no good at all. Scales don't change overnight and that i know and realized once again that by weighing like every couple days wasn't cutting it...and that i know what to do to make it go down :) or make it not change.
you are doing an awesome maintenance job and 2lbs lower is great at the moment on wedding day. i love going to a wedding and actually wanting to be there and so happy for the couple :) you must have a good relationship with this pair getting married today?
See how you feel. Personally it's nice to wake up a little later after festivities the night before and i'd say it helps with the whole work week...but this is up to you !
i like your plans with work and the hurtful guy and how you are healing. I read BCGG's thoughts and agree completely and like that slogan. I'll try to think of it also when i'm tempted to say something not professional or do something risky at work...i am a pro at saying the wrong things by accident or just without thinking enough if i'm possibly saying something that could put me in jeopardy in any way..once again i do think it's great to let it slide as keeping a job is most important.
5yr plan is a good idea...
lol...this reminds me to also say i am not forcing you lol and not demanding though i know you may just post some :)
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Grrr! Superwoman! I doubt very much that you are crabby or inaccessible. I think you would be a kick to hang out with!!!! You could come camping with me anytime.
I feel you on realizing you left something in the car that you can't live without and then being restless in the middle of the night because of it.
Good job making your son earn his keep by mowing. He can also play matchmaker... hook me and Molly up with any 40+ non-married vets, lol.
:-D
bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
Work....I guess that's why they call it work...…...sometimes you just can't make everyone happy...and everyone right now thinks they are a prince or princess and deserve extra special attention...….if the job gets done and you are happy with it then other peoples opinions are irrelevant.....you are there I'm guessing to do a job...not be the office happiness director...( no one has time to make EVERYONE happy.....)...Keep being yourself!!!!
Office Happiness Director - LOL!
Horn_of_plenty on 06/01/2018:
awww, agree with BCGG...it's work..
keep up the good work. on days when i'm tired, i am MUCH hungrier too. that's why i try to get sleep when i can.
i hope your daughter is ok? sound like she is :)
enjoy your weekend, it's here in a few hours for you.!!
i bet you were more tired due to houseguests...now you can decompress this weekend.