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Donkey - Thursday May 31, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I do not know how anyone can say that they really love and appreciate the work that I do for their clients and then turn around and say, "I know she can be unaccessable or crabby sometimes..."  WHAT?!?  OMG... Well, fire me then, so that I can collect unemployment.  My male co-worker says that I can't really let these things bother me.  They've all happened to him and then are forgiven.  Whatever.  I'm unaccessable because the client needs to speak with an attorney and they are out, shopping, at the law library, having lunch at the title company, having lunch with the family, running errands, etc.  If I sound crabby, well... I push.   I push to get things done.  Clients may not like that but I do what it takes to get the deal done.  I'm not a counselor, I'm not an attorney, I'm not a fairy godmother with a magic wand.

Came home, ate dinner, loaded up the dishwasher, walk around the yard with my son showing him spots for tomorrow's mowing that need attention.  Come back inside and it's 7:30p. 

I stayed up too late on Tuesday because we had to take Daughter to the ER -- for nothing.  Last night, the cat got all upset about a visting cat on our deck, so that woke me up at 3:27a.  Then I figured I should go outside and get my purse out of the locked car because someone might just break in.  Woke up EXHAUSTED.  So 2 days at work where I'm running on empty before I even get started.

In all this exhaustion and craziness, I'm finding it very hard to just eat my way through everything.  My male co-worker, who is under as much stress as I am, just grabbed a big bag of chips and started plowing right through it.  

Now it's time to get ready for bed. 

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
Grrr! Superwoman! I doubt very much that you are crabby or inaccessible. I think you would be a kick to hang out with!!!! You could come camping with me anytime.

I feel you on realizing you left something in the car that you can't live without and then being restless in the middle of the night because of it.

Good job making your son earn his keep by mowing. He can also play matchmaker... hook me and Molly up with any 40+ non-married vets, lol.

Donkey on 06/01/2018:
:-D


bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
Work....I guess that's why they call it work...…...sometimes you just can't make everyone happy...and everyone right now thinks they are a prince or princess and deserve extra special attention...….if the job gets done and you are happy with it then other peoples opinions are irrelevant.....you are there I'm guessing to do a job...not be the office happiness director...( no one has time to make EVERYONE happy.....)...Keep being yourself!!!!

Donkey on 06/01/2018:
Office Happiness Director - LOL!


Horn_of_plenty on 06/01/2018:
awww, agree with BCGG...it's work..

keep up the good work. on days when i'm tired, i am MUCH hungrier too. that's why i try to get sleep when i can.

i hope your daughter is ok? sound like she is :)

enjoy your weekend, it's here in a few hours for you.!!

i bet you were more tired due to houseguests...now you can decompress this weekend.



Donkey - Wednesday May 30, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I'm still here, just too busy lately, mostly trying to catch up at work from the shortened work week.

The cake is out of the refrigerator, so this is no longer an issue for me. I strongly suspect that it isn't completely gone, but out of sight.... well it's still on my mind, obviously! (LOL!!!)

Our houseguest, the boyfriend, left today. I did not have the opportunityto say good-bye last night as I had planned, so I ended up leaving him a post-it.

I've been eating more than usual lately, so I have no expectations for Saturday's with-in, but I'll keep trying. Most everything is in check, but my lunches have been larger and with more carbs.

I think I mentioned that they changed the taste of the protein powder I've been buying, so I no longer take shakes to work for second breakfast. Tastes yucky. But what to do with all that leftover powder? I have been adding a small scoop (1 Tbsp?) of the vanilla protein powder, thanks to happy's suggestion. It's delicious!

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
I hate that.... you find something you like and rely on it and they change it. You can probably return the unused portion of the protein powder, even if there is only half a bag left. Almost every grocery store takes back returns from unsatisfied customers. If you call or write the company they maybalso replace the product.

Donkey on 05/31/2018:
Heck no -- it tastes good in my oatmeal :-)


bearcountrygg on 05/30/2018:
That is the thing about protein powders...some are downright disgusting.....

Donkey on 05/31/2018:
I guess so. I didn't think I'd ever think that way, since I like most foods. But this stuff now -- same store, same brand -- not so good.


horn_of_plenty on 05/31/2018:
if you just despise it, throw it out.

you can offer it to your son.

i put the protein powder in my oatmeal to make it more satisfying and filling since oatmeal doesn't generally have much protein. i add extra sweetener (stevia as you know i use) bc i also don't love the taste of my protein powder...

now that bf has left, i think your eating will go more back to normal.

Donkey on 05/31/2018:
Probably. I was so tempted to look in the freezer on my way in from work to see if there was any cake left... I didn't though. Don't need to know... Don't WANT to know...


happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
I just realized my fav protein powder has sucralose... back to the drawing board to get rid of the fake sugars. debating whether to finish the bag or toss it.



Donkey - Monday May 28, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

Confession time:  I'm struggling with having this graduation cake in the house.

Yesterday, I had a large salad for breakfast at around 10am, and then cake at around 1pm.  And as I was finishing the cake, I said, this is the last of the cake for me.  This usually works, except that I had another piece last night after dinner.  The problem - for me - is that nobody likes the edge pieces because there is a lot of frosting, so those get left behind.  Well, that's the part that I LOVE..... and I wouldn't want to waste cake, that's like a crime against humanity.  

I may have "offset" some of the damage by having a very active day- over 20,000 steps per my FitBit, but I don't like to play to that mentality of "Oh I exercised so it's OK to eat (insert unhealthy food here)."  For me, that can lead to a self-defeating mindset and a slippery slope.

And here's the dumbest part -- the reasoning behind having cake last night was my drinking-water-during-dinner challenge - which is supposed to help me NOT eat more for dinner.  UGH!  I had only gotten in one glass of water during dinner, and had most of my second glass left.  What better way to finish my 2nd glass of water (per my challenge) than to have a piece of cake?  Right?  WRONG!

Anyway, I will pledge to do better today.  Personally, I think I'm having a hard time with the realization that my daughter is growing up and will be leaving us (me) behind soon.  And so if there's still cake to eat, then the graduation isn't really over, and I don't have to deal with reality. 

On the other hand, we have our 20 year old son who I think, left to his own devices, would be living in our basement until he's 40.  Ah, he's still working on getting back into the Air Force - fingers crossed - and if that works out the way it SHOULD, he'll be gone next year as well.  He just needs to get out more.  Once he finds a job, then he will start having his own life back again.  Right now, he's working out and then hanging out at home ALL the time.  Daughter (and the boyfriend, who is here until Wednesday) works and goes out; she's seldom home. 

*sigh* I will do better today.

AFTERNOON EDIT: Logging in so that I'm SURE I don't partake of any more cake... The struggle is real.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

graindart on 05/28/2018:
Dump the cake in the trash can.

That's the only thing that would keep me from eating it daily until it's gone. Oh, and I'd have to take the trash bag to the dumpster, otherwise I might still be tempted to grab a fork and eat the middle section that "hadn't touched the other garbage".

(only partially kidding about being tempted to eat out of the garbage can)

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
I should but it's not my cake. My husband said to everyone to eat as much of it (the cake) today, meaning it's leaving the refrigerator. I said after today, it's going in the freezer for a later date.

Being in the freezer normally wouldn't stop me, but it might be enough for now.


bearcountrygg on 05/28/2018:
I remember once a lady saying that she had to take a container of ice cream outside and pour dirt from her flower bed on it....

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
I believe it. I confess that I could totally relate to Gains' kidding comment about eating stuff that had been thrown in the garbage. Yep.


Horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2018:
I'm glad your son IS working out! and good luck to him...i agree it would be helpful for him to be working now too...it'll keep him from struggling at home as we all do when not supporting ourselves....i think?

i'm glad there's a way he can still get back in!

i was tempted by a boatload of desserts yesterday and so proud of myself for not finishing either and only trying a few bites. so instead of being very off track, i'm getting back ;)

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
Yes, you are 100% right. Sometimes I get impatient and lose proper perspective.


Horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2018:
lol you are funny with the cake. i wouldn't be happy with it in my house either!

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
Right?!


Horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2018:
One more thing, great job this week with the company in your house and lately all the wonderful events like your daughter's graduation!

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
Thank you!!!


happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
U need to save that cake just for Queen Bee. She should be fatter.


happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
And you should bring the cake to work or toss it to protect your family. If there was a bear in the house you wouldn't think twice about getting THAT out!!!!



Donkey - Sunday May 27, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

Way too many leftovers in the refrigerator...  I'd been craving a fresh salad, but you can't have salad for breakfast, can you?  Well, I waited to have a later breakfast at almost 10a, and had salad.

I wanted to add that after we finished up the cake and ice cream from the graduation party, I had a 13 hour fast.  I was feeling "munchy" at around 7pm but wasn't really hungry. Just wanted to eat out of habit.  So I waited until 8pm, and was still feeling "munchy" but not hungry.  Made plans to go to bed instead.  So hopefully that helped balance calories out.  My fingers were too swollen to wear my wedding band this morning though, which is probably due to the extra salt from eating out yesterday (French dip) and the humid weather.

Went for a walk outside at around 11am.  After about 20 minutes, the bright sun and humidty started to get to me.  I'm probably staying in, now, until this evening.  Or at least until there is more shade outside.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/27/2018:
Good planning and good carrying out those plans!!!!


happy-1 on 05/27/2018:
I always substitute potatoes or toast with salad when I get breakfast out.


graindart on 05/28/2018:
Since I've been doing one-meal-a-day for the past 6 or 7 weeks, I've become pretty used to going 20 hours without food and then eating my food during a 4 hour window. I do drink zero calorie drinks throughout the day, but haven't had any major problem with OMAD.



Donkey - Saturday May 26, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

Up half a pound but as long as I'm under 130, I consider it "happy maintenance land".  After today's graduation festivities for my daughter, though, I'm not so sure what next week will bring.  Kind of a heavy lunch of French dip sandwich and then a large piece of cake to celebrate.

It was a wonderful day, and I'm so proud of my daughter.  She's not sure what her next step will be -- although she's fairly certain that it won't be in Illinois -- but I'd rather she take a little time to figure it out than to rush into something that she's not ready for or not really interested in.  

Decided not to drive to continue the visiting with our out-of-town guests as I think everyone is very tired and very full and would just like to relax.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/26/2018:
Big changes as kids graduate...….you guys are becoming empty nesters...and while it feels strange....it is actually a lot of fun...life does get easier.....and cheaper...LOL


happy-1 on 05/26/2018:
Aaaaaaaw momma bear!


Horn_of_plenty on 05/27/2018:
In the photos, your daughter looks so happy!

Glad you all had a great day and that you are relaxing a bit. It's important to be able to have a little down time here and there especially if that's what you enjoy! That's how I'm doing it as of late :) Busy days but time to recoop here and there also. Keeps me happy and the stress lower.



Donkey - Thursday May 24, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

One more thing to add to my list of things that one should not eat in large quantities:

  1. Cashews
  2. Cheese
  3. Steamed Kale - *new*

I wonder if I will regret this as items #1 and #2...  Tomorrow will tell. 


 

So this was at 3:30p and husband grilled a delicious dinner with a nice big salad and fruit salad.  And I was so full from the kale :-( that it was hard to partake much less eat.  But I did have a piece of meat and some salad.  Why did I eat if I wasn't hungry, you might ask?  I dunno, says Donkey.  A couple of reasons:

  1. The boyfriend joined us for dinner -- He doesn't always join us when my daughter is at work, but tonight he did.
  2. My husband worked really hard to make a nice dinner and I KNOW that he would have felt bad if I didn't eat anything.

And right now, I'm comfortably full.  It was a struggle to get in the 2 cups of water, though...  Today I did not do as well with the water, unless I lost count.  Sometimes I do that, especially when I'm at work, and I just fill up my water bottle but don't log it in FitBit right away.  

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/24/2018:
Too many cashews give us belly aches....don't know about the kale


horn_of_plenty on 05/25/2018:
Kale is really low cal...sometimes i eat a lot of veggies and even if full, i proceed to eat some protein/carbs after so it's balanced and i'm not hungry later...

Happy Friday...3day weekend!?


horn_of_plenty on 05/25/2018:
Kale is really low cal...sometimes i eat a lot of veggies and even if full, i proceed to eat some protein/carbs after so it's balanced and i'm not hungry later...

Happy Friday...3day weekend!?


graindart on 05/25/2018:
I can easily overeat cashews and any type of nut. I can down a whole can / bag at one sitting if I don't watch myself. Cheese is a bit different for me. I love it, but there's only so much quantity of it I want in one sitting. Kale is completely different for me. I don't remember a time where I've ever filled up on kale..... A few bites is usually more than enough for me.

I have been eating a large salad nightly (mostly lettuce with a light vinaigrette and few or no other toppings). The taste / texture of the salad is marginal, but feeling full on something does offer some satisfaction for me.



Donkey - Wednesday May 23, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Very quickly here because it's late... Had a brutally busy day at work, came home early, which for me means leaving away 5:15p because otherwise I would have stayed until 6p or 6:30p, rushed home, rushed through dinner (Subway), and then went to Senior Awards Night ... 2 gruelling hours on bleachers just to watch my daughter stand for 10 seconds with about 100 other kids. *sigh*

But I got my 2 cups of water at dinner!

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
Hugs. Slug it out cougar mom.


bearcountrygg on 05/24/2018:
The life of Parents!!!!! Been there....done that.....but how proud you must feel MOM!!!!


horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
agreed, the life of a parent! congrats to your daughter!


Horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
lately when these busy days are coming, i totally am taking vacation days around that time lol...so i don't miss workouts or have to be up hours on end...i will have to watch how fast i use my days though, since i want at least a week off come freezing winter lol to go escape to my friend's place in Miami as long as she's still living there!!!!! who knows, if she doesn't mind my visits, i'd escape 2x this coming winter...if only having to pay flight and not hotel.


Horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
but also it's that i do NOT want to fall behind in exercise right now as this is the time of year where it's perfect for improvement. so, i'm doing what i have to in order to get the fitness in...even if it means those are my vacation days right now :) i do other things on those days too, so it's not a total waste...just a way to get done what i do enjoy.

well, tomorrow is FRIDAY :) yay!


Horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
lol, Happy is on a site...Ugly Dating Guy !!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. for real!



Donkey - Tuesday May 22, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

My drinking-water-during-dinner challenge has clarified itself all on its own. My overall goal is to get 2 cups of ice water during dinner. That's about all I can do on a regular basis.

I accomplished that but still took second helpings on salad. The point is to drink water to avoid ALL second helpings. This is to accomplish lower calories. I should add that the salad had croutons, which is kind of ouchie ouchie.

My activity level, if you go by daily steps, has increased so far this week.

Just bracing now for Daughter's graduation on Saturday.

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/23/2018:
It's nice when something clicks and becomes a habit.....second helpings on lettuce would be good...not necessarily fun...but good!


horn_of_plenty on 05/23/2018:
i'm also going thru my eating and adjusting it to actually eat lower cals again = lose weight.

congrats to your daughter!

proud of you for accomplishing so many things, social events, person success.


horn_of_plenty on 05/23/2018:
personal* success


graindart on 05/23/2018:
Looking forward to slower schedules after school / graduations are over.

Donkey on 05/23/2018:
AMEN!


happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
If you are already dehydrated before dinner you won't get the appetite reduction from 2 cups of ice water. Shoot for 2 cups warm while you make dinner.

Donkey on 05/23/2018:
Don't hate me, but my husband makes dinner so that it's easy for me when I get home. I do drink water on the 15 minute drive home, 99% of the time, so I do think I'm sufficiently hydrated before I eat.


happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
Aaaaaaaaaw points in your hubby's column!



Donkey - Monday May 21, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

I had a lovely time at the wedding, although there was no wedding cake, which was a huge disappointment for me.  I decided to go into to work late- a gift to myself - regardless of what awaits me in my emails and task calendar.


EVENING EDIT:  Glad I went in later this morning, but couldn't quite avoid my boss's "How was your weekend, how was the wedding" blah blah blah.  It was much less than usual, but still -- Just let me work.

To his credit, though, my boss did talk to the associate about how to resolve the issue relating to the drama -- but didn't address anything with me.  My boss seemed to think I wasn't mad at the associate at all -- which I think I was more hurt than anything.  Only "mad" in the sense that I was like, Is this guy trying to get me fired so his assistant gets more work?

So this afternoon, the associate attorney and his assistant (who does bankruptcy) were talking about something relating to the drama from last week, and it got really awkward. I was getting some strange vibes from the assistant, like she thought I was mad at her, so I confronted her and just let her know, It's OK that this matter has been resolved this way, and I really am fine with you handling these files... and then I went further -- even though in my head, I'm hearing Horn of Plenty say STOP THIS (LOL) -- and said it feels like your boss is trying to get me fired so you have more work to do, and that's what's really bothering me.

Wow, after I got that off my chest, I felt so much better!  And things were better between the 2 of us after that.  But she likes to stir up things at the office, right?  So she went and talked to the associate, who then approached me and said, "do you have time to talk?"

And after we talked, I felt so much better and I think he did too.   
 

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/21/2018:
Have a great day....And you deserve some cake....just sayin!


horn_of_plenty on 05/21/2018:
fine decision to go in late...extra sleep is always nice after a productive, exciting weekend!


horn_of_plenty on 05/21/2018:
Well hey maybe what you said needed to be said :) I'm just so thankful that it all worked out postively ! Thank gosh!

As I was reading all of it you had me on the edge of my seat!



Donkey - Sunday May 20, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Today is the Wedding Day!!!   I'm so excited!  I know I wrote how much I was dreading this, but now that it's here - and having watched the royal wedding yesterday - I'm just so excited to be a part of this couple's happiness.

So I did a naughty thing this morning and weighed in again.  I'm not sure why, perhaps because I was feeling hungry and lighter, and I'm quite pleased to say that it was the same number as I had yesterday.  What bothers me so much about my weigh-ins is how much my body's weight seems to fluctuate.  That is why I've limited myself to weekly weigh-ins only.  Otherwise ths scale drives me nuts, and nobody needs that kind of additional stress and negativity in their lives.

While I did not reach any of my "looking fabulous" goals that I had for this wedding initially -- before I went to the bridal shower and came back feeling quite sad that we're all getting older and family members are struggling with their own health issues -- I think I did quite well losing a few very difficult pounds.  OK, so maybe it was just 2 pounds, but like Gains says, weighing 129 feels so much lighter than weighing 130 or 131 - LOL!

Finally, I'm debating whether to go in late to work tomorrow.  I have on the calendar that I'm coming in at 10am -- which I usually reserve the option to do after busy weekends.  Last weekend with the band competition, even though I was very tired, I still came in on time -- or early.  I will have to see how I feel this evening and, more importantly, tomorrow morning.  Even though I do want to earn as much money as possible, I may just need that extra hour tomorrow morning.  Plus, coming in at 10am eliminates the opportunity for a lot of bull**** chatter, like "how was your weekend?" "what did you do?", etc., which I really don't want to participate in, especially with last week's drama.  The less personal, the better, really.  

Lastly, as I continue to heal and resolve my own conflict about the work drama, I realized this morning, that this is probably the only job I've had where people are actually rewarded for bad behavior.  So I should totally take advantage of that, and continue to earn and save as much money as I possibly can now for the future.  I'd like to talk to my husband about maybe having a 5-year plan for us.

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/20/2018:
Good job!!!! Have fun today at the wedding...and it's never too early or too late to plan for retirement!!!!

Donkey on 05/21/2018:
For myself, it's not necessarily actual retirement, since I'm 9 years younger than my husband, and I have about 20 more years to work before I should collect Social Security (if there's anything left, for my generation), but Mr. Donkey is for all intents and purposes, retired, and with the kids gone within the next 5 years, we'll definitely need to downsize and all that good stuff.


bearcountrygg on 05/20/2018:
I also commented on your post from yesterday. Sorry...it's long!

Donkey on 05/21/2018:
No, I'm so glad that you shared your story. I appreciate the lessons learned.


Horn_of_plenty on 05/20/2018:
I'd say you've been super successful during the time of the bridal shower until now! Two lbs lower is awesome on the scale and shows that your water habits and other methods from the bridal shower until today have paid off!

I was also stepping on the scale too much lately and it's doing me no good at all. Scales don't change overnight and that i know and realized once again that by weighing like every couple days wasn't cutting it...and that i know what to do to make it go down :) or make it not change.

you are doing an awesome maintenance job and 2lbs lower is great at the moment on wedding day. i love going to a wedding and actually wanting to be there and so happy for the couple :) you must have a good relationship with this pair getting married today?

See how you feel. Personally it's nice to wake up a little later after festivities the night before and i'd say it helps with the whole work week...but this is up to you !

i like your plans with work and the hurtful guy and how you are healing. I read BCGG's thoughts and agree completely and like that slogan. I'll try to think of it also when i'm tempted to say something not professional or do something risky at work...i am a pro at saying the wrong things by accident or just without thinking enough if i'm possibly saying something that could put me in jeopardy in any way..once again i do think it's great to let it slide as keeping a job is most important.

5yr plan is a good idea...


happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
If you weigh yourself every day and track it like a graph you'll see that you'll go up higher right before you go down lower.

Donkey on 05/21/2018:
Hmm... that would be interesting to see. Good idea!


horn_of_plenty on 05/21/2018:
oh...and donkey...i'm super excited to see any photos you share of the wedding!

lol...this reminds me to also say i am not forcing you lol and not demanding though i know you may just post some :)

Donkey on 05/21/2018:
I know what you meant ;-)



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