I'm getting rather nervous... I'm starting to think that I should probably weigh-in before we leave for Texas, so that I know exactly how much I gain while I'm gone. Maybe I will do that, but on the other hand, I'm afraid it will be self-defeating. If I've gained, there's nothing I can do about it now. We'll see how I feel in the morning. I do plan to stick to my routine of waking up, riding the bike, get dressed. The only difference is that I will have breakfast at home and then we leave for the airport instead of leaving for work alone.
So my co-worker was making snide remarks to me again about my lunch. Again I was eating leftovers, so I had a lot of leftover vegetables and a hot dog from a couple of nights ago. I forget what the comment was, but I was like, "Who said I would be taking questions and comments from the audience today?" Sheesh. I think Horn is correct in that there is some jealousy there... or maybe it's just office politics, since he hasn't been returning my "good morning" to me lately. Whatever - I do not have time for this pettiness any more.
My plan for vacation: make use of the fitness room, make use of the pool, walk as much as I can, take stairs, take my 24 ounce Blender Bottle for water and drink keep drinking. Order as many vegetables as I can at meals. If there is a Walmart nearby, stop in for baby carrots and apples. I'm also taking healthy snacks, sugar free gum, and sugar free candy, for the airport, to help.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
For some reason, my weight seems to have become a talking point at work today... No reason, just out of the blue. Is it a full moon? It can't be, because the clients haven't gone crazy yet. Maybe it was something in the water, because the plumber WAS at the office today fixing the pipes...
So at lunchtime, I broke my rule and decided to eat with my officemates. This was the first mistake. I'm trying to eat leftovers for lunch so that we don't have much food left at home while we are in Texas. I brought a plate full of raw vegetables and half of a leftover reuben sandwhich from when my husband and I went out to dinner for his birthday. My co-worker goes, "Wow, I used to feel sorry for you for your lunches, but you're doing alright!" (meaning that the sandwich looked delicious, I guess -- which it was.) But he used to feel sorry for me - and you're watching what I eat? What?
Then later in the afternoon, I hear the two attorneys talking about our website. We need to take a new group photo because 3 of the people in the picture aren't with us any more. The one attorney says, "(Donkey) is twice the size she is now." What?
I know I'm being a little sensitive about all of this. I *AM* tougher than this. Friends, you know the struggle is REAL, and you know that I am struggling right now with the numbers. I'm sure that if I were in a stronger place mentally, I'd just brush these comments off like cat hair on a sweater.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
they probably all look they same as they had when the pic was first taken and you changed...this is why they complimented you in such a backhanded way....
you are doing great, don't change.
Getting up early was very difficult, but didn't want to spend time in bed, even if exercise wasn't the first thing on my agenda today. Mr. Donkey is crabby so I'd rather just stay out of his way. The reality that I will be traveling soon has hit me, and the dread of change in routine is starting to sink in. I see I will have to do some shopping today for warm weather clothes that fit me. So double whammy to deal with.
EARLY AFTERNOON EDIT: I meant to mention in my original post that I saw a Facebook post (friend of a friend) that he was fighting a case of the "late winter blues." So it's not just me. And I suspect that a few of us here might be dealing with that, too. Maybe with daylight savings, with more daylight, things will start to improve for me. Also, I'm curious to see if the warm weather in Texas will help perk things up for me. Illinois winters are not very motivating once the snow melts.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
Never been to Thailand, lol...
Surprise - I did not weigh in today! First time I missed a weigh-in Saturday in a long time. I weighed in on Thursday at 132.5, and the rest of the week wasn't so great food-wise. Life-wise, it was great, because Mr. Donkey and I went out for dinner on Friday to celebrate his 56th birthday. Ordered a salty dinner and ate more than I normally would. Had to have cake, right? ;-)
Then, today, my mom & her friend, my aunt & uncle, my daughter & I all met downtown in Chicago at the old Marshall Field's -- now Macy's -- and had lunch at the famous Walnut Room. There was not much to choose from that was "under 650" calories, so I went with what I liked instead. Daughter and I split a piece of the Frango Mint ice cream pie dessert. Did a lot of walking, too.
One thing that I've noticed this week and last is that my water consumption has gone down significantly. I was talking with the lady in our building who lost a bunch of weight through gastric by-pass surgery, and she was saying the same thing about her! I know that one of the keys to lower numbers on the scale is to drink more water -- which for me is 90 ounces and over. At one point I was drinking just under a gallon a day. Then I pulled way back and it's been a struggle to get in the "required" (by FitBit) 64 ounces. So not saying it's a cause-effect relationship, but there DEFINITELY is a correlation.
And there is more eating coming up this week too! We were very doubtful that our son would be able to pass the push-ups portion of his physical test, but it looks like he will be able to reach that goal by Wednesday, so we are indeed going to Texas, leaving Wednesday morning through Monday morning. The day we get back will be spent just trying to get back on track because we have to wake up very early to catch the 6:30a plane to Chicago. I hope that we can do a lot of walking because there is much to see in San Antonio, but Mr. Donkey doesn't walk very far with his issues. So we shall see.
Speaking of push-ups, I want to start doing those again. Long story short, I saw an acquaintance's picture she took with her family, and her arm... oh my... I'm sure it was the position, where it's flat instead of bent -- the stupid photographer should have caught that, but he's a guy and doesn't see things like that. Ugh, this is one of those "don't let this happen to you" and so I'm going to start working on my arms again. Maybe that will help jumpstart the numbers on the scale going in the right direction, too...
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
i do think pushups is a great idea...do you do the ones on your knees? or the full pushup? once you can do many, like 15?, on your knees, i think it's time to try to do some regular ones...
sounds like a nice night out with hubby...Once again you sound happier!
thank you for all thee great advice lately!
congrats to your son so far....keep us updated and keep cheering him on.
Finally MAKING time to write. My back seems to have improved enough to be called "normal" again. Wednesday morning was my last back spasm. When these spasms start, I have to be very careful and go into preventative mode so that nothing worse happens. I must remain healthy in order to take care of my husband. Thankfully, this time was very minor.
Decreased my exercise, but remained sufficiently active. Short frequent walks are the best thing for my back, really. So I thought I did very well this week and yesterday, so I thought I would weigh in ahead of schedule: GAINED 2 POUNDS.
I would really like to be back down to 128, and ideally 125. I don't think I can get there until the weather turns warmer and it gets easier to be active outside and eat lighter.
Went and bought new underwear because my old underwear was so stretched out and needed mending along the waistband (all pairs). So I went from a size L to a size M, and they are "tight". What I mean by "tight" (in quotes) is that they actually fit properly but because they aren't baggy, but are properly form fitting, they feel "tight".
I have this issue with my pants, too. Actually all of my clothes. I love wearing leggings and XXL (mens') t-shirts, so that my legs look skinny, and the rest of me looks undefined. That is my look, but it's not a very flattering look. I might look more slender if I had properly fitting clothes. But then they feel restrictive, and that makes me feel fat.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
I have the opposite problem in that the pants i just bought are suddenly too tight...so weird.
they fit well last Saturday and now i can hardly pull them on right!? Anyways, yeah, some people just like the loose clothes....
i think just wear what you are comfortable in!? unless you want to make a change.?
Hurt my back somehow... started having small muscles spasms this morning, and now my whole back is tight, in spite of taking 2 Aleve.
Got through the day, took a hot shower, and a muscle relaxer. Going to bed and lie flat.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
This weekend has been kind of low-key because the balance in the checking account is low, so no spending errands for me this weekend. That's okay - and we'll be ok once my deposit clears on Monday.
I went for a walk yesterday afternoon, to check out if there are any houses in my neighborhood for sale. This will help drive up the property value (possibly) for my house if/when we sell -- now slated for probably next year, once we see what Daughter does with her next step in life. I was thinking of Maria7's post about springtime coming. Sure enough - saw 2 robins and trees with buds on them! The neighborhood I work in must have slow trees because they do not show much sign of budding anytime soon. But the trees out here are just waiting for a little more sunlight, a little warmer temperatures...
Felt I did well with eating and exercising. It was good to start walking outside again. And I'm SO proud of myself for not letting agorophobia get the better of me and keep me inside until May, which is how it has worked the past 2 years. I feel braver getting out there, and who cares what the neighbors think of me. (This has been a HUGE issue to overcome since 2009.) This morning, though, I am feeling a little stiffness or something in my back and right hip. Not sure if it was the walking or what.
No plans today again, other than to either walk outside or maybe pick up branches that have blown down in the backyard. Another "no spending" day, and I'm ok with that.
AFTERNOON EDIT: Perhaps I spoke too soon because we have snow forecasted as a possibility for Monday through Wednesday, with chances for rain increasing as we get towards Wednesday. Oh well, it's Chicago, where you're wearing your winter coat one day and shorts the next.
I tried the new exercise bike this afternoon, after programming everyone's profile into the console! Super proud of me for taking the initiative in this, as in the past, I would ask a million times for my husband to do this. See, I'm tech savvy 
Cons:
Pros:
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
I had agoraphobia in my teens and, though I don't have your direct experience of being you, I know some of how horrible and limiting it can be. More power to you!
We had snow here (London UK) until yesterday but Spring is finally springing... or at least it's stopped snowing
proud of you also for programming the bike :)
proud of you also for getting outside.
i have also started getting outside already to start the jog / walk program of mine up again.
keep active as you are. the purchase of the bike was def worthwhile.
i did the opposite of you - i realized i didn't own any black dress pants that fit and ended up going to a store for them...and picked up a few nice shirts to wear under cardigans, as well as a black blazer to go with the dress pants in case i ever need to wear a "full suit" for anything and it's in my size (hadn't had one full suit in my size since well over 10 years ago) and bought a jacket that was 50% off bc mine is a size too big and doesn't look nice on me so i switched this one for my old one which now needs to be hung up in the closet and not for wearing to work (it's so ugly) anymore. i spent $300 and somehow saved $200...most i spend on clothes at once in a VERY long time. Splurge, but some of it was needed - as i haven't, like i said, had my size dress pants that fit appropriately for a long time. now i do. and the blazer. a jacket that looks better (thought not that warm) and a few nice dress shirts. now i don't need to shop for another long time....and i hope also to have more weekends like you - going outdoors as long as the weather is working...and if it's not, to go to gym or use the stairs in my apt bldg for exercise!
Responded to comments to my last entry - thank you all very much!
Lost a pound, but not quite where I want to be. However, I do feel much better: not so bloated, not so anxious or edgy, more centered and focused mentally.
I'm thinking that maybe the "GET TOUGH AND DO IT" attitude isn't right for me. I was initially inspired by Horn and BearCountry when they pledged to step it up and just do it. For whatever reasons, that did not work for me this time. So while I appreciate enthusiasm and love to bask in others' excitement and dedication -- I really do like a group effort! -- this just wasn't the time. Not sure if it's seasonal, hormonal, situational, or what, but it didn't work for me this time.
So I do feel that with the oatmeal breakfast, everythint else falls into place. Again, this morning, I thought about going back to protein shakes in the morning, but I'm trying to stay with real food as much as possible.
The new bike is almost put together. One of the programs is called a "Ride in the Park" -- I want to try this one first 
Another thing that I think will help is that it has an interval program that will deliver results. It will deliver because the new bike has more resistance. Can't do HIIT if you don't have resistance, and my old bike isn't set up well for that. However, I think my old bike will still be my anchor.
Final word for this morning: to those of you who have expressed frustration with dieting and always struggling with food, moderation, exercise: I share your pain. Why can't I just be naturally thin? Why must this always be a battle? I still get uncomfortable with the level of time, energy, and thought this whole experience takes. How about those people who say, "Oh I just forgot to eat" -- WHAT??? Who ARE you?? Who forgets to eat when I'm planning out meals & snacks for next week? Who ARE you that forgets to eat when, for me, I have an internal war with every bite???
I love my family, but visiting my brother is very hard because his wife is very slim. She has to work to maintain at 100lbs. And her daughter, while she looks a lot like our side of the family, will be very thin, just like her mom. And nobody there seems to show much interest in eating. And when they do, it's all carbs. I get so frustrated sometimes... Life just isn't fair.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
So yesterday was weird. I was not feeling good about how Husband and I left things with our money "conversation" and our future --- in this house, in this state, etc.
But I did go to the store with him to look at the exercise bike. It's much nicer than what I've been working with right now, and if he will use it too -- which I remain skeptical, because he's like that -- then that will be a bonus. My bike, while beloved, is very basic, loud, and doesn't offer much resistance or variation. The new bike does offer this. (Plus, lately, I've been worried if my old bike is breaking down or going to break soon... It will be nice to have a back-up.)
Food is going much better this week, so far. To answer Maria7's question: my bag of raw vegetables usually consists of baby carrots, celery sticks, broccoli heads, and cauliflower. Sometimes I have these small red/orange/yellow peppers that are not hot. Sometimes I will bring a cucumber to slice up. Ooo, this week I have a treat with radishes and green onions! These are ALL eaten raw, mainly for stress eating situations at work, and bulk, to keep me full.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
his problem i've noticed for him is his portion sizes. he likes a big egg sandwich with cheese and prob bacon for breakfast and devours it...and at lunch if he orders a sandwich, it's huge...i mean the size of 2 sandwiches and he finishes it.
so while it's good he's getting the nutrition, i've noticed that he always is capable of finishing off really big portions of calories at a time during meals and noticed that this is his dilemma...be happy you watch your servings and portions.
there's a veggie that tastes like licorice that you should try that he brings...it looks like celery...i'll think of the name later.
What I'm really interested in trying are leeks, but I have no idea how to eat or prepare them!
Went to bed super early for me - 9:17p and probably would have slept until 5:30a but Husband was up at 1:30am with pain and didn't turn off his alarm clock which went off at 5am. *sigh* So I stayed up when I got up to turn off his alarm...
Did a longer route with more resistance on the exercise bike this morning. The rest of the week will be lighter and shorter. I am planning a shorter walk today at lunch.
There are lots of leftovers from yesterday's lunch, plus the lunch that I brought over because I forgot that the title company was coming over. I have raw vegetables and a big apple, 2 containers of almonds, 1 container of vanilla Greek yogurt... So all I need is my breakfast, I think. Debating on whether to pack some sweet pickles or not, for munchies.
EVENING EDIT: I texted my husband that I was coming home from work, and when I got home, both he and my daughter were sleeping! So no dinner made, no company, no nothing. My daughter work up and sat with me, but later she left to go get herself something to eat because she didn't like the leftovers we have left.
I had several thin slices of leftover ham and a salad - second helpings on the salad. Decaf coffee, and now I think I'm done.
Husband and I were supposed to go try out a recumbant bike he wants to buy for himself/us but he didn't wake up until 7p. So by then, I didn't really feel like going out shopping and spending a whole much of money. He was not happy about that, but oh well, then be up and awake and fixing a dinner when I get home, please! (didn't say that, just thought it)
Then we start talking about the estimates for the home repairs, and the guy he likes is a contractor, not a handyman, not a painter, and will do everything for a flat fee of "less than $6000" -- oof! WAY more than what I had planned on spending.
I'm like, Where are the written estimates? and there aren't any (yet). I was tired of Husband yelling at me because all the money talk was getting really overwhelming to me, so I said, When the estimates come in, we can talk about what we're getting done, and what we're not getting done.
He gets mad when I say we're not spending money. And by the end of THAT conversation, I was REALLY glad that we weren't looking at any bicycle tonight.
Part of this is because I'm dealing with a co-worker who is telling me - almost boasting to me -- that he's going to start aggressively paying off his mortgage. In the meantime, the Donkey family is saddled with this stupid 2nd mortgage that my husband thought was a good idea, and now is this chain around my neck. (Doesn't seem to bother him one bit, because what he can't see, he doesn't think about.)
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
I'm telling everyone right now - if that last sandwich is still there in the morning, it's mine!
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I swear people hate to see other people try to do better for themselves. Is your coworker healthy and in good shape?
Ha ha ha ha -- no, he's not! He's borderline diabetic (takes meds to control) and is quite overweight - would do well to lose at least 50 pounds, probably more. I'm not sure what's going on in his life to lash out at mine.
happy-1 on 03/13/2018:
You might have problems getting all that on the plane. I'm heading out to see my aunt and uncle in a couple of months. I'll probably order food and have it delivered there the day after I get there.
Duly noted - I will take out my bag of almonds, as I would hate to throw those away if needed. The rest of the stuff is unopened, pre-packaged, with the exception of cocoa-coated almonds which are quite old but still tasty.
horn_of_plenty on 03/14/2018:
why must you gain weight while you are gone???? you can weigh in before you leave, but it's possible to remain on target while you are away bc you are going to an area in texas i believe that does have veggies / salad / etc. options? i believe when i went it wasn't so hard to choose the right thing to eat - but times when i chose unhealthy over healthy - but that i did have the option....from what i remember. it's a bigger city....and you have the bike to use as you said and you plan to stick to your routine..
how long will you be in Texas?
you can even make a plan to be healthy overall there....
i've noticed that when coworkers / bosses don't say good morning, it's a "power thing" that they are choosing to think they have over you. i've been in the situation. right - it's politics as you say. it's petty. it's rude. it is not necessary for a boss to act that way to keep his power. it's wrong in my opinion...but many feel it is their right to do..don't worry about it.
people such as me and you that think about weight and food etc., we will always feel weird or feel something when people comment...if they comment they are just thinking about it too...so it should make you almost feel better to see you aren't the only one concerned about these issues....and to NOT take it personally....keep on your plan this time. just as i am...somehow, we have both decided it's not worth another struggle and battle of actually gaining the weight along with a loss of self confidence any more times. (i have lost weight 2x in my life and don't wish to ever have to do it all over again!). same for you...keep on....you've learned from the past people make comments and life is not everything you choose...just keep on.
I usually retain water from all the salty eat-out food. Also, I have bathroom problems. I will be gone today through Monday morning (early).