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Donkey - Wednesday Sep 22, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

This afternoon, Husband and I leave for our long weekend getaway, and all I can feel is stressed that I'm not packed yet, and I have a ton of work to do, at work, before I leave.  I'm worried about leaving Mistakes Girl so much work. I'm worried about all the work that wil be waiting for me on Monday.  This so sucks.

Mistakes Girl and I had a nice private chat yesterday. She has it on good authority that if something should happen to the Boss,unexpectedly, where Boss cannot work, that the New Guy is to take over the running of the firm, not the older, more experienced Associate Attorney.  This is in writing, so it will be.  What a kick in the gut to Associate Attorney - I wonder if he knows.  Nice Lady has already sort of figured it out.

I didn't tell MG that I don't want to work for New Guy -- BUT I did tell her that I have problems "meshing" with New Gal.  (New Girl is 47 years old, so she's not really a "girl" - I will be calling her New Gal from now on.)  And I do not want to work at the firm if Mistakes Girl isn't there to act as a buffer between the 2 of us.  

Eating was OK yesterday.  Upper body weights wasn't as good though, because I worked an hour of overtime, to get caught up for today, so that I could get as much done today as possible, before I leave. Lower body weight training this morning was only OK.  The stress of everything kind of got in the way, plus, I didn't want to push myself and strain my back right before our hiking trip. So I held back a bit and it was nothing spectacular.

The nice thing about this trip is that we are coming back home on Friday afternoon, so I get a little longer at home.  That probably defeats the "long weekend" thing, but I really just need those 2 days AT HOME.  My mom recently mentioned to me that a 3-night stay anywhere seems to be the ideal limit for any trip.  This is 2 nights...  IDK I feel like I just need time to think and be.


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 09/22/2021:
good idea to let him know "i'm listening." (my coworker)

Jacky82020 on 09/22/2021:
Vacay sounds exciting! You deserve a break from the office etc. Does this firm do real estate only?

Donkey on 09/25/2021:
We do a little estate planning (simple wills, trusts, etc.) and Associate Attorney does bankruptcy. The bankruptcy was supposed to be a cash cow, but AA never really got it off the ground, which I don't understand because the law firm I worked at right before I moved to this one had a BOOMING bankruptcy business. Couldn't keep up!

innerpeace on 09/22/2021:
Have a great few days off...enjoy your time and don't think about what you are missing in your office, cause you know, it will be there when you get back!

bearcountrygg on 09/22/2021:
Enjoy your getaway.......you deserve a break!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/22/2021:
lol, so i did talk to coworker today again. told him about you! :) and how that was your good advice. he seems happy to talk about his feelings. he's like a woman ! (he is married):)

no no, you should go on this vacation. separate yourself from those worries. you will catch up little by little. it will be ok. don't worry about mistakes girl...well, don't worry for her. she has to do the work. if she makes mistakes, i would worry only about that !(but, later!) now is time to enjoy your trip. if you forget something or don't pack something, you can pick it up whereever you go. you will be OK!

try not to worry too much about "what will be" for the future of the firm. try to be in the moment. you may say now that you don't want to work for attorney if there's no buffer, but you may change your mind if it means you lose your job....but, that's for you to think about.

smart to hold back on a workout rather than cause injury. i would prob think of that, too.

when my life becomes a little too stressful, i also suffer in my workouts, like if i'm constantly losing sleep or too much OT. totally get that.

I LOVE time home after a trip. i'd do the same plan as you. you do you. homebodies like us like that recovery time at home - i love it.

Donkey on 09/23/2021:
It warms my heart to hear that I was helpful to you for your coworker. One of like second-hand helping :-)

horn_of_plenty on 09/23/2021:
I hope you are having a lovely trip!

Maria7 on 09/24/2021:
Hope you have a wonderful trip and try not to worry about work while you are away. Just enjoy yourself!

Jacky82020 on 09/25/2021:
Bankruptcy is BIG business. Advertised on TV day & night. Never ends. That & personal injury. We have a neighbor I’ve never met on this somewhat short road who is always on TV drumming up business for workman’s comp & personal injury. At the end he yells out: GET COMPENSATED!

If I ever see him when I drive down the road gonna yell out the window: GET COMPENSATED!!!

He is sharky looking. His dad & brother are attorneys too. The brother is a beefy tribal tattooed guy who has his big pic in the Sunday newspaper every week, Specializes in real estate! Makes me wonder.

Donkey - Tuesday Sep 21, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

So let me start by saying that overall, yesterday was an OK day, which isn't bad - not great, but not awful.  Having said that, I will tell you that work just drained any sense of happiness or contentment that I had from the weekend, stomach problems or not.  The most positive thing I can say is that at least I know that I wasn't alone in feeling that way, because Mistakes Girl has probably reached my level of fatigue/frustration that I have been operating at.  

Just drowning in emails mostly, for me.  I walk in to 32 emails to start my day.  That is a high number, meaning it will be a busy day.  I have to jump in and get started on chipping away at those right away or the emails will become uncontrollable.  At least I did not have as many new contracts as Mistakes Girl had (because of New Guy).  And New Girl was there all day, which helped, EXCEPT that I just don't like the way she opens up files.  Of the 3 that I reviewed (for mistakes) that she opened, only 1 of them could pass.  The other 2 have mistakes that require extensive data re-entry.  I know that she won't learn if I don't say anything, but these were so bad that I don't even think it's a learning experience.  It's just a redo.

So I put the new re-do files aside and left for the day at 5:15p - late for a yoga day. Dinner was a little rocky because Husband thinks that by talking louder, he'll become more clearer in what he's trying to communicate.  I couldn't understand what he was trying to say - I think my brain was just on overload. 

Yoga was pretty bad because the instructor's WiFi wasn't working well, and so it was very choppy.  Also, I'm not sure what's going on with her, but I notice that she's not participating in the session as much any more.  She sits and coaches me verbally through the moves.  In a way, that's good, because she lets me know when I've gotten into the pose correctly or prompts me to make adjustments.  I miss that about yoga in the studio. 

I think I did OK with eating.  Stayed up a little later because I went out with Daughter after yoga, to drop off cans at the animal shelter, and then to use coupons at the drug store to buy vitamins.  It was so nice to spend time with Daughter, even at the expense of my own sleep.  We had an interesting conversation about younger workers and older workers, and how they relate or don't relate.  This was prompted by my realization that Male Co-Worker is a bitter old man.  For someone who identifies as a Christian, I'm just amazed at the lengths of his meanness sometimes.  TOXIC.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/21/2021:
Sorry to hear work didn’t go so well. Here’s hoping that mean old guy retires soon or shows up less.

I get vitamins/supplements online from Puritans Pride. Mostly for Matt, I don’t take many, he does. Some better prices than Walmart.

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
3 years until he can retire, and if the Boss is still working, he'll probably keep working too, since he doesn't want to be home with his neurotic wife.

What is it with people I work with don't want to be with their spouses????

bearcountrygg on 09/21/2021:
I'm sure it is so frustrating that Mistakes girl makes so many errors in data......she has 1 job ( to enter things correctly) and can't even be trusted to do that.....what is she getting paid for? Sad that her work ethic is so flimsy! Agreed...louder isn't better....it just makes me want to leave the room.

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
Actually, this is New Girl who is making the mistakes. These are different though. She's not following our established procedure -- these aren't really mistakes, these are something else.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2021:
if you do talk to your doc, let me know if they say anything about rogaine.

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
Will do!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2021:
i wasn't trying to turn you off from trying something new, below! :)

Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2021:
sorry to hear about this bitter old coworker that you speak of sometimes. just stay away as much as possible. luckily, i am not currently working with ones like that now. although in the past i sorta had.

my male coworkers have many personalities. one tells me of his stresses, sadly. he's just stressed and wants to retire. he's only 57. i tell him not to forget about the good things in his life....i hope he'll be ok. he's just a kind man. i guess i should let him. i once went to him crying, on my bday, when i misinterpreted something a coworker said - i went into him and he made me feel a lot better. so, if he wants to share anything with me, i just have to give him some pep talk i guess..

Donkey on 09/22/2021:
I can so relate to YOUR male co-worker. Pep talk - or maybe just let him know you're there to listen.

Jacky82020 on 09/22/2021:
Maybe it’s the spouses who don’t want them around. LOL

Donkey - Monday Sep 20, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

I was feeling much more positive, but I can feel that my energy has shifted.  Is it the lingering heat and humidity? (Cool-off is coming Wednesday, now.)  Is it the dread of going to work?  Is it the bathroom issues this morning?  I just don't feel as well situated as I had yesterday.

It seems as though my GI system has FINALLY reconciled itself -- it's just unfortunate that it chose early Monday morning to do so, rather than on a weekend, when time is more lax.  Whoa, what a difference!  I had not realized how bloated and uncomfortable I was, until this correction.  I feel "reset" but also a bit surprised by this.  Also struggling with TOM right now - things are changing.

I'm hoping that yoga tonight will help me "reset" myself mentally.


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/20/2021:
I know what you mean about TOM changing......it did for me too and a hysterectomy stopped that part but the menopause [art goes on and it was a wild ride...get ready for hot flashes....( hint...don't put your summer clothes away...it may be snowing outside but it will be 90 degrees inside)...

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
I'm not at the hot flashes point yet, which I confess, I haven't even really considered. However, I have seen other women suffer through those, especially bad ones. My poor Aunt Mary used to sit outside in the middle of winter just to get some relief.

So I guess it could be worse. However, I hope that my dark moods don't get much worse.

Jacky82020 on 09/20/2021:
Donk, are you saying you took a decent dump & feel better? One of the highlights of my week, or perhaps weeks gone by when a good crap was truly a blessing from on high. LOL The potassium is really doing it now. Doing about 4 grams a day.

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
Yes, that is what I am saying. A Donkey Dump served done did well. It is such a struggle, with the iron supplements. I eat lots of fiber, drink lots of water... It's just one of those things.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
awww, sorry you aren't feeling as good as yesterday! xoxo

we have had a cooling off and it's soooo nice. mid 70's. just perfect!

i also got TOM today...! wasn't expecting it for a few more days. i think it's a hair early. but, i always (almost) wear a pantiliner to work for issues like this and similar so that i always have extra protection, lol. it's one of my peeves to leave without wearing one!

i'm sure you feel better after the dump dump as jacky mentioned.

i'm currently realizing my hair is quite thin due to hormones. may try something like the women's version of rogaine, but not yet. i need more of a push to do it...and once you start, you cannot stop. so first, i'll just work on growing my hair out a little more so i can even it up; get a trim in december or so.

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
I'm thinking of starting rogaine (or similar product) but want to talk to my doctor about it first.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
wow! 90F yesterday for you?! it was at tops 75 yesterday and so sunny that the beaches were pretty full! people really enjoyed it and it WAS warm enough bc of the very warm sun!

The gun range sounds fun for a date night. it's not like you are going out shooting and random people/things. it's controlled. i see that as fun too. it's similar to bowling, aiming at a target. responsible adults should be able to enjoy it.

i think i once tried either tai kwon do or tai chi but i didn't understand the moves. whoever was teaching, was teaching above my beginner level .i think it was when i was in college, there was a small group being taught.hardly anyone came, most had some practice lol. so i was the newbie. if you don't want to sign up for classes starting so soon - don't. you really don't have to do what you don't want to - and i've certainly been doing a lot of them by not showing up to volunteer (which really isn't the right thing to do!) so i've made a mental note not to sign up for anything else while i am taking a course!

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
Thank you for saying this. I was thinking about your comment on my (short) drive home from work. It's one thing to stretch one's boundaries and try new things, but it's another thing to engage in activities that aren't really authentic to who I am. So I may not sign up for Tai Chi after all. I thought perhaps it would be a nice complement to yoga - and it might be - but it's a direction I really don't see myself going in.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
great idea to do the practice hike(s) with hubby. it's a good way to go to local parks / neighborhoods with walkways / greenways and benches and to get good exercise, both of you, this lovely time of year.

i remember there used to be gym hogs. if i really wanted to use the equipment; and already tried waiting; i'd ask if they could share. many times, they would...

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
all because we are female and they can do higher weight levels, doesn't mean they can hog the machines.

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
Combining my replies here: I can't even ask this guy to cut in, because he's wearing headphones, so he wouldn't be able to hear me anyway.

And I think what really annoys me is that he's a skinny little thing. He DOES lift at very heavy weights, but waits way long in between sets.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
Have you ever had any issues in pushing yourself to read at home. sometimes, i have a very hard time starting to read; which is why i like to do it on the subway and bus (there seems to be less to do, lol, while sitting there; and it's easier for me to distract myself with a book).

Donkey on 09/21/2021:
My problem is maintaining interest in a book. I seem to have no problem selecting books, getting started, but then my enthusiasm just fades out. So finishing a book, for me, feels like a major accomplishment.

Jacky82020 on 09/21/2021:
I set aside many of the books I begin. No regrets! If they don’t hold my interest, there’s thousands that will. The big political blockbusters are a good example of this. I get on the Brooklyn Library wait list as soon as I hear about one. By time I get it, the juicy stuff is all over the media & there’s always much dull stuff. For me anyway. Waiting for Peril now, about Trump’s chaotic final months in office & how the Generals had to work up stop him from nuking China & starting WW3

Donkey - Sunday Sep 19, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Good morning!  A lovely, quiet, calm Sunday morning, but oh BOY is it gonna be a HOT one today.  HOT and HUMID, with a high of 90F.  Ooof!

I kind of wanted to clarify things.  I'm not really a gun person at all; I don't care for them, definitely not my first choice of things to do.  On a personal level, I find them rather intimidating.  Also, philisophically, I don't agree with them.  However, I can support responsible gun ownership.  And finally, this endeavor is more for the benefit of Mr. Donkey - see my comment to Happy on my entry yesterday - but it's also good to test my boundaries & limits, which can be very rigid & narrow.

BUT I came to the realization this morning that perhaps I am too ambitious with changes & challenges.  I have come to a place of weight-loss maintenance; I have come to a place of professional (job) maintenance.  So perhaps now is not the time to be diving into all sorts of new adventures and such.  It may be a time for mental maintenance as well. 

Having said that, BEFORE I came to this thought TODAY, the following happened YESTERDAY:

  • I did respond to the email regarding a free personal training session.  I haven't gotten a response yet.  Let's see if that goes anywhere.
  • I went onto the library website to sign up for the indoor Tai Chi for Beginners class.  Turns out, I can start next weekend outdoors. This is a class/activity that they offer every Saturday afternoon 3p-4p.  Hmmm... This threw me off a little bit.  I have not signed up for either the indoor class in November nor any outdoor classes sooner.
  • The gun range date night thing is too far along NOT to happen; these will probably be starting in October.  Well, it will be nice to have Date Nights with Husband that aren't focused around eating.

I finished reading "When Breath Becomes Air".  I'm proud of myself that I could finish a book.  I did stay up late (10:30p) to finish it. I'm glad that I did, and this didn't stop me from waking up naturally at around 4:30am today.

I had an only OK day at the gym yesterday.  I'm really surprised, too, because it was not crowded at all, and folks were doing OK with wearing masks.  However, there were 2 guys that were monopollizing 2 of the machines that I wanted to use, because they were ON THEIR PHONES.  And one guy -- he was playing Scrabble or Words with Friends!!!  DUDE!  Get off the phone and do your weights!  And Scrabble Guy wasn't even the most offensive.  It was the OTHER guy who was honking me off, because he did the very same thing LAST Saturday too.  In the 25 minutes that he spent sitting on the chest press machine, I was able to do 3 sets of 15-20 reps on THREE other machines!!!!

I'm looking forward to a day of folding laundry, reading, gym (leg day), and spending time with Husband. He proposed that we have a "practice" hike to prepare for the hikes while we're on vacation, but if it's hot, forget it.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 09/19/2021:
A practice is a very good idea!!! Shoes and ankles need testing!

Donkey on 09/19/2021:
Oh boy, my right shoulder is gonna be sore!!!!!

Donkey - Saturday Sep 18, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Well, well... look at that lovely weigh-in today!  Isn't maintenance grand?  I'll be honest, I'd much prefer to see a number in the 120's, but this is a good number too.  And that I can maintain it, eat a lot, exercise a lot, and still feel great (except for the recent sleep slump) - I'll take it!!

Eating went well yesterday.  I felt satisfied after my 3pm snack at work, but that's good because I worked late.  Dinner was lighter - fish - and I felt very satisfied at the end.  In fact, I did not even finish my square of dark chocolate.

My sleep was probably not as good as I would like it, but I woke up early, naturally on my own, and I like that.  I went to bed much later (almost 10:30pm) so that it would be easier to fall asleep, and it WAS easier.

I'm well on my way to doing my weekend chores.  I do hope to read. I didn't get a chance to read last night; I also didn't write in my gratitude agent yesterday either, so I will need to write yesterday's gratitude as well as one for today.

Lately, my mantra has been "Inhale calm, exhale drama" that I use while breating to meditate. However, after my argument with Husband on Thursday, I started returning back to the "I am open to change. I am not afraid of change" during my lunchtime walk.  Closer to the truth would be, "I am not real receptive to change. Change is out of my comfort zone" but that doesn't quite have a Zen feel to it, does it?  LOL...  

So I have a couple of ideas on things to do that will challenge me, sort of a Bucket List, although rather minor in the big picture of life.

  • There is a free, beginner's Tai Chi class being taught at the library - where I used to do Library Yoga (sadly, no longer offered because of COVID) on Saturday, November 13th.  I think I'm going to do that.  I'm very uncoordinated and also very stressed.  This class is a challenge to both of those.  
  • The really big news though is that, in the quest to do more things together with Husband, I am going to learn to how to shoot at the local gun range.  This is very much NOT me, on many levels, but I think it would be a good skill to learn & have.  It is something that Husband is VERY good at and VERY excited about.  It would get him out of the house, and maybe meet new people (maybe for me too).  On Thursday, when I was complaining that I just do not have time to go to target practice, I had not realized how much he was looking forward to doing this, and the time & effort he had put into getting us ready to do endeavor.  Also, I think he's VERY lonely, even if he doesn't realize it.  

I still WANT to try other things in my own fitness journey.  I'm just brainstorming, some of these I've talked about before:

  • Attend the Strength class at the gym - there's one during the week, and one late Sunday mornings.  Free with my membership.
  • Sign up for a free personal training session the gym offered me.  Why haven't I jumped at this? 

These 4 things I've listed are very easy to enroll in and free, except for the gun range (but about equal to the cost of a date night, which is what this kind of would be, for us).  

What is stopping me? ME.  


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 09/18/2021:
LMAO... A hot date at the gun range? I like it.

Donkey on 09/19/2021:
I do too, in the sense that there are very few things that we can do together, due to time constraints and his health issues. Winters here in Illinois are quite dark and long. It would be one thing if we had the pretty Michigan snow, but most of the time, it's a very drab gray-brown thing. Gray skies, brown grass, cold winds.

Now that the kids are essentially grown and gone, I'm working to find ways that we can reconnect, so to speak.

happy-1 on 09/19/2021:
I like anything target-related. It’s super calming to breathe, focus, and shoot. I like archery too. I don’t ever feel calm in mindfulness and meditation stuff, but I do woth anything target-related.

Donkey - Friday Sep 17, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

The best part about yesterday is that it's behind me.  Oh man, it was BRUTAL, pretty much from the minute I got up (with no sleep) to the minute I turned of the light and struggled to fall asleep AGAIN.

Once again, felt tired, got into bed, was interrupted THREE times into falling asleep.  So I'd start to relax, and I'd wake up.  Then take more time to start to relax, and I'd hear something and become alert again.  Exhausting.  Frustrating.  Woke up at 3am, too early.  Was up at 4:30a naturally, without my alarm.

But today is Friday (yay!) and TOM is here (probably the cause of much of my strife, I hope), so that only means that things will get better soon - like in 8 hours when I come home from work, for the weekend, LOL...

SO TIRED at work.  SO BUSY at work.  The phones were quiet, and the Boss had nothing to do, so he just figures the rest of us weren't busy either.  Oh Lordy, trying to keep up with the emails --- I felt like I was literally drowning in emails.  I'd be caught up, go get the mail, come back to 10 emails.  I'd chip away at those, go to the bathroom, come back to a dozen more.  Most of them were very time-consuming too.

Came home exhausted, told Husband that I'd had a bad day, and then he starts making all these plans for things to do in the evenings during the week.  I'm like, where is this time coming from?  I don't have time. I barely have enough time to do yoga -- and that's IF I am able to leave work on time.  And if I HAD time, don't you think I'd be at the gym?  Remember how I went to the gym that one night during the week? My sleep schedule was ruined for a whole week.  And on and on....  Poor planning on his part, and lack of perspective on mine.

But it's great to head into a yoga session after having a yelling match with the Husband, isn't it? (Answer:  NO!) It did help quiet me down, though, and I realized that my husband was very excited and had put a lot of time and effort into this, only to feel "shot down" by my lack of time. 

After yoga, I was able to talk to him calmly, asking him, if he could provide me with a visual calendar as to dates or days of the week that he wants to do things together, then that would help me manage my time much better, so that I can still do what I want to do (weight training, for example) and we can still fit in these other activities.  That seemed to help both of us a lot.

  • I'll talk about this more about this tomororw, because it involves me stepping out of my comfort zone, and unfortunately, I just don't have the TIME to think it through right now.  Once I've written about it, then I will feel compelled to commit to these changes.  I'm not there yet, because my energies are too scattered.

On the bright side, because of our argument, I didn't overeat at all.  My evening snack was my usual piece of dark chocolate.  Nothing extra was needed or wanted. So there's that.  No great loss, without some small gain.  

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 09/17/2021:
DH and I live by a calendar. I hope it helps you as much as it helped us.

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
I live by a calendar too. I have one in the kitchen, and then there's my daily gratitude agenda. Husband is not the best at writing his stuff down on the calendar. If he only knew how helpful it was for me to see the commitments on the calendar, though...

happy-1 on 09/17/2021:
I feel your entry and screaming about time SO MUCH!

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
Right? THANK YOU for getting this. I say good-bye by my own time at 9am and before I know it, most of the day - and my energy - is gone.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/18/2021:
Hello, hello!

I'm sure the lack of sleep is very due to TOM. i was reading something, forgot where, and I believe it made a mention of poor sleep during TOM in general (as we know it def can cause, with waking up at night with cramps or to change a pad or something...).

comparing your boss to another. there's a company that does work for us and the boss is prob close to 70. Well, like i said, it's a diff company, not mine. and that boss came to visit my trailer. i asked him what's up - he actually told me he's planning for a total changeover soon - where he will do far less work ! he is actually planning for it; unlike your boss who either isn't telling you he's planning - or he waited to plan until now...lol.

I totally do get how one night of gym can paralyze the week. when i get up, to take public transport, that hour difference of waking up also leaves me pretty lethargicc the rest of the week. but on that note, it's good to do and a good thing to keep up with - so i guess i should try to do it later in the week or when i know i can go to sleep early the following night.

as we know, relatedly, sleep is NOT underrated, it's important.

I had similar incidence of just eating what i wanted and sleeping last night. thankful not to overdo of keep going just for the sake of a bigger dinner or sake of eating in general.

i would said HUNGER is overrated. this i'm just adding bc it came to my mind. what i mean is, we are going to feel hungry. and the longer we wait, the more hungry. BUT NOT ALWAYS. i generally have a small fasting period between lunch and dinner, frequently when i work. reason being, work gets out at 3:30, not generally hungry if my lunch was complete. and then i may walk or just drive home. i get home around 5-6pm or sometimes later now that school is in session. it's a fast of over the 3-4 hour window i like to have, tops, between eating. but i like it that way...i do feel hungry sometimes on the drive, but it's nice to just have that break from all food and be able to eat a good amount when finally home....i was thinking how this break, this window, has been good.

the day i had the dunkin donuts cruller and a tea,the window was broken and interestingly the eating while driving left me completely unsatisfied and didn't get rid of my hunger for when i got home....and i realized, might as well skip the DD. (dunkin).

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
I sincerely hope that my sleep problems were due to TOM. I've learned that whenever I have some kind of physical disruption (even back pain), to wait out for a TOM cycle, to see if my body can reconcile the inflammation, irregularity, depression, anxiety, etc., on its own.

Like KathyBlue had mentioned, it's like being a slave to one's hormones. On the plus side, though, it's good when the body resets itself naturally, after TOM. So far, so good!

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
I would have to say that my 3-4 hour fast happens in the morning. I finish breakfast by 8am (usually earlier) and don't reach for a snack until 11am. Take a walk and come back to eat at my desk. Granted, not the BEST routine.

The stress of the afternoon just triggers a HUGE snackfest. That's how I regained 50 pounds at this job, but the 3pm snackies that I filled with just junk.

Oh how I wish my Boss would have an epitome like the man who came into your office. And maybe he does, with me just not being aware of it. In a way, he has, in subtle ways. He definitely stopped going to a LOT of closings. And I find that even though he's at the office all day, that he doesn't work the entire day: a lot of chit-chat, a lot of computer surfing, 2-hour lunches, etc. With a 2-hour lunch, right there he's only working 6 hours, and I would say that at least 1 of those hours is consumed by just "visiting" around people's desks.

Donkey - Thursday Sep 16, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

I did not sleep well last night.  Oh my word... it's been a while since I've slept so poorly. 

I got into bed late, slightly after 10pm (not good), all snuggled in, when I realized that I hadn't done my daily push-ups (monthly challenge).  So I got up to do push-ups.  After that, it was REALLY hard to relax and calm down.  So I just focused on meditative breathing, and eventually I must have drifted off to sleep.

I woke up naturally, ready to get my day started --- at 2:16am.  Nope, too early.  OK, I'll try to go back to sleep.  I guess I did because I woke up again later, rarin' to go (vroom, vroom!) -- it was 3:34am.  *sigh*

Relaxed until I eventually fell asleep again (maybe?) and woke up at 4:25am.  OK, I'll get up... but I didn't get physically out of bed until 4:37am. 

Had a great cardio workout, but boy oh boy I feel like I could use more sleep.

Tonight, I plan to get ready for bed right after yoga, Let's aim for lights out by 9:15pm.

The New Guy meeting with the Star RE Agent went very well.  I was able to invite myself (of course) into the conversation to hear how it went.  Then, for lunch, Boss, New Guy, AND Male Co-Worker went for a long lunch.  So I'm sure they were talking about more changes. 

In the meantime, since we were alone, Mistakes Girl and I discussed changes to assignment of duties, with the conclusion that New Girl needs to start doing more so that she gets good at what we need from her.  I'm already preparing, mentally, for her to become full-time soon.  That means there will be a LOT more Spanish spoken at the office, because when she's there, she speaks Spanish, and New Guy and Mistakes Girl also start speaking Spanish.  It doesn't bother me - I know some Spanish - but it's very noticeable ---- like when you have a songbird outside your window.  Not a bad thing, but you sure do hear it.

Eating was a little better yesterday.  I had a late lunch, because I had 2 hard boiled eggs for snack at 11am, and they held me until about 2pm.  So eating at dinner was easier to control (moderate).  I decided to make a short list of snacks that I could have after working out at night.  I have a box of Honey Nut Cheerios that no one else will eat. (We bought it for Son, who did not eat much breakfast at home.)  So I figured 1 cup would be OK as a nighttime snack - carbs, not too many calories, easily digestable before lights out.  It helped, but when I got up out of bed this morning, it felt like I had a solid rock in my stomach.   Hmm...

I was feeling pretty positive this morning, until I started thinking about regrets.  Talk about poisoning a day... I've shoved those aside and will focus on the positivity of today.  I love Thursdays! :-D

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/16/2021:
Kudos for the discipline to do those push ups! I’d put them off until tomorrow and probably never catch up.

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
LOL - what helps me is that I have a little calendar at work, where I cross off the date number on days that I've accomplished the goal. So far, missed only 1 day. It's a rewarding feeling to cross off another day with a big X.

bearcountrygg on 09/16/2021:
Thinking about regrets....been there and have done it a lot....but it helps instead to think of them as lessons that you learned from so that you will think before doing them again.......They are lessons learned......and yes......it is a positive Thursday!!

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
Oh that's a good idea - lessons, not regrets! I will remember this. I think this perspective will help a lot. I know better, so I do better.

Maria7 on 09/16/2021:
I hope I don't sound 'preachy' but for Hubby and me, we start the day out with a simple little devotional that we take turns reading (about 5 minutes or so) that has God's Word and it really gets positive thoughts flowing. Helps us a lot. As for a snack at night, have you tried honey graham crackers? Some people like them and their not too sweet.

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
Honey graham crackers are on my list! AND I looked at the box last night - I can have 2 whole sheets for less calories than a cup of Honey Nut Cheerios. I think that might be a better choice -- more chewing, and probably less sugar, and a few less calories.

Not preachy at all! I was thinking about this last night before going to bed, to see if I could incorporate this. Too often I'm on "automatic" in the morning. I think a 5-minute devotional would be a great idea. I'm gonna work on doing this.

Maria7 on 09/16/2021:
'they're' not 'their'. Smile.

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
^I appreciate this ;-) I know you know - sometimes our fingers just have a mind of their own. (No pun intended) See my comment to InnerPeace, talking about a 2nd "price" lottery ticket, LOL....

Horn_of_plenty on 09/16/2021:
sorry your sleep was poor. been there, done that.

I'm starting to think i'm in a very weird sleep cycle in general since starting this job. It's either over-sleeping or under-sleeping. it's like my body knows i'm going to undersleep some days, so others i'm oversleeping. eh, weird, but i'll take it at the current time. meaning, i'm ok with this based on my current lifestyle.

we have a lot of russian electricians on the job site. they speak to each other that way for ease, i guess, at times. we also have spanish, but, i think they tend to speak english.

i am not sure the cheerios would make you feel that way in the AM....was it something else?

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
It might have been the higher sugar/carbs causing the lump in my morning stomach, but now that you mention it, I think it was something else, because I kind of had that feeling for a while.

I'm "regular" but for about 2 weeks, maybe longer, I've had this feeling/sensation of just needing a ... long time in the bathroom, shall we say, to be polite. It's not irregularity, but just feel backed up.

Donkey - Wednesday Sep 15, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Yesterday, the Boss and the New Guy met with a top producing real estate agent at her office at 4pm.  If New Guy gets her business, our office will become VERY busy.  I don't work with New Guy's files, so it doesn't affect my workload directly, but if this happens, Mistakes Girl will become more of his exclusive assistant - meaning less help for me.  New Girl will become full-time and be the one to help me.  She won't be helping me directly, but she will be the one opening up contracts, ordering title, and fixing problems on title. 

This was all unkwown to me until yesterday, that this was the plan. So we'll see if this happens.  And we'll see how I feel, and re-evaluate.  See, that's why I didn't make any changes or moves before, because not enough has changed to make it worth a move.

Nice Lady made a friendly jab at me yesterday by saying I'd better brush up on my Spanish.  She and I talked a little bit about the changes.  She will be with Associate Attorney until the very end.  I made no overtones about working for him, if something happens to the cohesiveness of the firm, so that she doesn't feel threatened.  (Also, not sure I would ever want to work soley for him.)

I came across an article, from a major news network, that said something like, "6 Reasons to Leave Your Job".  Two of the 6 apply to me for sure.  So we'll see what happens.

Yesterday was very humid and rather warm until the sun went down, so we had take-out.  Schwarma - Pakistani food.  They don't have ANY vegetables on their menu, and unfortunately, I kind of dove into the carbs a little too much - a samosas (Google it and you'll see what I'm talking about), naan, Jasmine rice -- OOF!

I'm liking this phase of "refueling"  - I guess that's what I would call it - as I start to lift heavier and have incorporated regular HIIT training into my cardio, but this feels almost as wrong as over-restricting calories.  I'm not panicking, just expressing my thoughts for now.  October will bring about changes, and so now would be a good time to mention....

Next week, my Husband and I are taking some time away to visit a bed & breakfast in Wisconsin for a couple of days.  There is some hiking that I want to do.  I don't know if Husband will be up for it, but at least he's willing to try.  If he's not up to all of it, or even any of it, he can come with me, do as much as he can, and then sit while I go on ahead, and then return to him.  If we have cell phone service, it will reduce risk much more than if there is no cell service.  If no cell service, then we'll have an arrangement where I go ahead for 15 minutes (or whatever) and then return promptly, so that he knows if I'm not back in about 30 minutes (or whatever), something went wrong.

So it will be VERY nice to be away from work.  I hope to use the time to think about my yoga journey. (This little trip is why I don't have yoga 2x next week.)  There are other things I want to think about.  I hope Husband doesn't talk too much, so that I have time to think.  I'm also bringing my books to read, and my Gratitude Agenda too.  I'm looking forward to this.  

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/15/2021:
Get away sounds good! Nice break! Well deserved.

Hope work settles in soon. Wonder if they’ll get the big real estate agent? Always wished I had taken Spanish in hs & college instead of French. Useless & I had many Hispanic students in California.

Unfamiliar with that food, but bet I would like it. Not many exotic dining opportunities here.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
It is sounding like the Big Agent will give New Guy a chance. It will just take a little time to get started, but I think once it starts, hold on folks.

Husband was like, It hasn't even happened yet, and he's right, but my gut is telling me this WILL happen, and we should be prepared.

bearcountrygg on 09/15/2021:
How nice that you guys are going for a vacay!!! Sounds like it's a good thing that you didn't make a quick work decision...it will be interesting to see how this all plays out.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
Despite all of this new "buzzing" around the office with changes and stuff, after my self-realization over Labor Day, I've come to a comfortable spot where I'm at. It's really hard to explain, except that I know that no matter what happens, I'll be OK.

horn_of_plenty on 09/15/2021:
maybe do yoga 1x a week instead of 2!?...writing more later.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
I have been doing yoga 1x a week over Zoom with a live instructor. It's nice because the instructor will tailor the routine to my requests. For example, "My hips are sore, can we work on stretching those tonight?"

I thought I would try yoga 2x a week, because I was SO busy at work and getting SO stressed out. Taking Yin yoga 2x a week FORCES me to take a time-out from stress, weights, bike rides, everything and focus on my inner well-being.... except that then I feel stressed out because I'm missing out on weights, evening bike rides, etc. LOL....

horn_of_plenty on 09/15/2021:
i look forward to hearing about your upcoming trip!!! (once you've been on it!) def my style of a nice couple days away if i had a hubby. you can fake reading a book if you just want to sit in silence ;)

those authors of the (when to quit articles) also cater to what you wanna hear...i'm sure i would meet at least 1 of the article's scenarios too.

you do you. seems many are planning now on what to do once boss is "no longer boss."

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
LOL on the fake reading - now I'm *definitely* going to bring at least 1 book with me! JK - I will bring at least 1 book, just in case the opportunity rises. And if it doesn't, that's OK too.

That's a good point about the author conveying what readers want to read. I hadn't considered that, but I see your point, and I think it's valid.

Yes, I will do me. I'm actually finding myself feeling like I'm watching a soap opera or TV show. At first, my feelings were a little hurt, because I found that I was being excluded from conversations and input. Now, I'm just sitting back, thinking, Gee, what will happen on the next episode?

It helped my stress level tremendously to have a plan if the changes become either too much for me to endure or if I'm actively squeezed out. There's no one path to my plan, either. It has several options and choices.

Donkey - Tuesday Sep 14, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Running short on time again - DANG IT.  I even had to cut short my morning weights because I just ran out of time, if I wanted to login to DD and comment and write.  Did 2 exercises instead of 3.  Oh well, that just means that tonight's session will be longer.  

Stayed up until just before 10p - that was my mistake.

Yoga, once it got started, was very nice... but I have to confess that I've just lost my focus with it.  I'm not sure if it's the yoga itself, if it's the type of yoga, if it's feeling stress from the time commitment, if it's the teacher, if it's because it's Zoom & not an in-person studio... I just don't know.  But it's not feeling the same as it has in the past.  I have yoga again on Thursday.

I've been eating more (fruits, vegetables, protein), in hopes (???) of building more muscle.  It feels odd.   Very odd.  

Oh that reminds me:  Anyone thinking of trying a frozen protein shake as a substitute for ice cream, DO NOT BOTHER with this.  Nope, not even a fudge-cicle like experience.  I consumed the 2 dishes I had frozen, but I will not do this again.

Thought for the Day:  It is easier to stay healthy than to get healthy.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/14/2021:
YOUR thought for the day is PERFECT!!!!! You did seem to enjoy yoga in person more.....good job with the eating...especially the protein....

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
Thank you! I feel that the increase in protein will help me build bigger muscles. I don't want BIG muscles per se, but looking for larger muscles to reduce the look of the flab.

Jacky82020 on 09/14/2021:
I need to try the frozen. Curious.

Maybe another kind of yoga? Can you do it alone at home, no classes?

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
Felt it again today with the yoga - it's just not feeling right, where I'm at, that is. Maybe I'll work on it on my own soon. I'll see if I have time this weekend to look into that.

horn_of_plenty on 09/14/2021:
the good thing is that you started the weights and did some, if not all! way to go on it.

well, try the yoga again one more time...you should have your mind made up by 2-3x trying again.

Like Bear, i couldn't agree more on your thought of the day!

Remember, you don't need to double up on proteins...but more vegetables never heart a person.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
I have this week with yoga 2x and then the last week of September with yoga 2x a week. I'm already feeling the tightness of anxiety of having the time commitment tomorrow night (Thursday) for the 7pm class.

Donkey - Monday Sep 13, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Short on time this morning so just a few thoughts:

  • Headache returned in the late afternoon, so had to take more meds, and then I was fine.  The key, for me, is to catch it early with the right drugs.  Advil doesn't help me with headaches.  Tylenol alone won't help erradicate the headache altogether, it just dulls the pain.
  • Yoga resumes tonight.  This week will be the first week of 2x a week.  I'm already "resenting" the free time that it will take up in my evenings, but logically, I know that I need to relax, and if this is a way to do it, then that's what I need to do.  But this is why it's a trial, to see how it works.
  • Had a good chat with Husband last night about finances.  This can be a hot topic, so it's good that we could talk about this calmly.
  • Focusing on myself this week at work.  Keeping quiet, working on preserving an inner calm that no one can touch.
  • Running errands at work, rather than taking a long walk.  I will take a short walk around the block before driving off, though, because a walk is very restorative and a priority for me. If I have enough time, I'll take another walk around the same block, after I return from my errands.

OK, time to get ready for the work day! 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/13/2021:
Hopefully those headaches will go away entirely. Do you get them often?

Smart to make yoga a trial in case it doesn’t work as well as you’d like.

Yea, walking outside good. Used to park car close to a mile away when I worked downtown. Had free parking in a garage next to the school too.

Donkey on 09/14/2021:
I should be more clear: Sunday was the only day that I had a headache. The fact that it lasted all day - masked by pain killers - tells me that it's sinus related. I don't headaches all that often.

Donkey on 09/14/2021:
I should be more clear: Sunday was the only day that I had a headache. The fact that it lasted all day - masked by pain killers - tells me that it's sinus related. I don't headaches all that often.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/13/2021:
what do you mean by replanting? for this year or for next?

it's easy to get itchy gardening. that has frequently happened to me at the farm. just in general, from weeding, usually. not necessary poison ivy, but i still have gotten itchy from touching the plans for so long a time period at once.

great job going to bed early last night! that was my plan but decided to stay up later, just relaxing, listening to tv, holding pigs ;)...not the best idea, but, early in the week so i can still stabilize my sleep somewhat (i am not the best on getting the right sleep all the time - i do not think most people are though?)

i've only had a really painful headache once. like jacky is mentioning, i hope you don't get them often...if you do you should get it checked..

.like you, i have always loved the mostly positive energy at gyms! so nice to watch people doing well; watch the regulars keep coming! it's motivating!

well, you may not be moving forward at work, but you have other burners that are on now. like your exercise, taking care of husband, and other things you do for yourself. you read, you have hobbies, you take care of pets. i do not feel that all burners of your life should be burning at the same time. it's give and take...and the new guy at work is just starting out...

Donkey on 09/14/2021:
I should be more clear: Someone dug up extra plants. I replanted them in my yard. The plants are done for the season, but the roots are still there, and if they have survived the replanting process, they should come up next year. They are perennials.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/13/2021:
replying to your comments today on my entry, you are right in that i agree to eat in and by itself. at work, i do not work while eating. i like to focus on the food and tasting it, etc. there's a man i work for; he is one of my bosses and everyone is basically my boss in this trailer, but he's basically the 2nd highest...he eats fast and eats while speaking to people...and never stops his work to relax. he has gained weight over the years as i am sure as a teenager he was sporty and fit. he actually is good with his portion sizes, considering he's over 6' tall and a big guy, big boned too - he has some muscle, not a skinny type. like i was saying, he must have been an athlete as a kid. his issue is never stopping to relax, not really focussed on eating. i assume at home he eats bigger portions. he may not realize what he's eating...bc at work he does pretty well, actually.

Jacky82020 on 09/14/2021:
Could it be allergens, Donk? Running amok around here Taking Cloroform Tabs. The 4-6 hr ones seem to work better for me than 24 hr’s

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