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Donkey - Saturday Jul 10, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

 I do not trust my scale - BUT right now, I need all the motivation I can get to keep going, so I'll take this number.  When I weighed in, stepping on the scale with my right foot first, I consistently got 136.0.  BUT when I stepped on the scale with my LEFT foot first, I got different numbers, that were not so rewarding (discouraging, actually).  Three times with the right foot showed 136, so that's what I'm going with.

It feels good to be a little lighter, not carrying around the extra bloat, clothes fit more comfortably, too.  But as I wrote earlier this week:  THIS IS HARD.  Firstly, it takes conscious effort:  food choices, portion control, etc.  Then, there's dealing with the other feelings:  some fatigue, some anxiety, a little sadness (especially at the end of the day).  If I were maintaining, I would have had some frozen banana after my evening bike ride, to help.  However, especially with weigh-in this morning, I refrained.  That is the difference between weight-loss behavior and maintenance behavior.  

Jacky has mentioned this, and I have heard this too, in other circles, that people who fast intermitently, claim that they actually experience more clarity and more energy.  I don't discount what others have experienced, but I don't get to that point.  However, I see this as an opportunity to grow emotionally, perhaps spiritually.  Rather than to wallow in the negative symptoms, I will work on embracing these feelings and sensations, and explore them further.

I completely forgot to do the push-ups yesterday.  I thought about doing them *several* times throughout the day, both at work and at home, and then... just never got to them.  I realized this omission this morning, while I was on my bike.  Well, this is why this is a challenge.  I was/am prepared to miss a day here and there.  I will (try to remember to) do 2 sessions of push-ups - 3 sets of 15 reps per session - today, to make up for yesterday.

Overall, I'm pleased with the progress I've made this week. I am sorry that I did not make it to the gym this week, and then there was the mishap with the push-ups challenge, but I know that really, my most important goal for this month is the weight-loss goal.

I'm looking forward to enjoying this weekend.  I am already enjoying it.  Nothing special going on - just my usual laundry, gym, birdfeeders chores.  It just FEELS good to be home.


Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/10/2021:
Wow! So close to goal! Congrats!

Wish I could extract cosmic feelings from IF & calorie restriction. But I just feel like I’m starving. & sometimes miserable. Then when the scale drops I feel better.

Yep! It’s not easy. I hate working out in our gym. So does Matt. And he uses it faithfully & has for like 25 years. He’s more disciplined than I am.

I’m making more of an effort when he’s in the gym to use the treadmill there. It’s an old one. The incline is broken, but he propped it up on some lumber for me. He uses the newer treadmill in the gazebo. I hate that thing and have never used it since I re-injured my muscle tear on it last December.

Donkey on 07/11/2021:
Thank you! And thank you for your candid response about fasting and calorie restriction. That actually helps me feel more grounded in reality. I was thinking to myself, What am I missing?

bearcountrygg on 07/10/2021:
I would step on with my right foot first too....YEAH...ONLY 1 pound away!!!!! It is hard.....creating new habits makes it get easier......but the big reward is in feeling better. Have a great weekend!!!

Donkey on 07/11/2021:
LOL - right foot weigh-ins only, from here on out!

I really want to learn the lessons and habits this time around. I do NOT want to have to go through this again.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/11/2021:
I certainly DO trust your scale. perhaps it's some water weight too, but, you have done the work and now you are being compensated nicely for it all! this is your reward, especially if you continue to stick with this!

I have heard that too, about some people who fast and it feels good. doesn't work for me either, unfortunately.

i totally get it on forgetting to do an exercise or not doing it early so then things get in the way...that is what happened with me with weights this week. Friday was the day; but i skipped. Saturday was the makeup day but plans changed and i got home far later than expected and so i skipped it...not that this is a good pattern...but at the moment i'm doing OK with weights and although i've had some skips, my strength is still pretty decent. (another reason to take off days even if weather is terrible this week is to get back on track with a few training sessions that are solid...).

Donkey on 07/11/2021:
You make some very good points, which touch on exactly the approach I want to be taking.

Why *not* trust my scale? Right? The glass is half-full. It's all relative anyway. The number went down and that's the important thing, as far as meeting goals.

It's not a good pattern, but all we can do is move forward with the day we have. That's one important lesson I'm still learning. Also, things come up in life that cause skips and such, and so it's important to remain flexible.

Flexible and positive :-)

Donkey - Friday Jul 09, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

Oh my, short on time to write...

I've noticed a little slipping lately, and while you may think I'm being too hard on myself, I want to reach my goal:

  • 2nd day in a row I had a Diet Coke at work, to get me through.  I will not do this today. 
  • Had frozen bananas after evening bike ride, before bed.  I'm not going over daily calories, and the bananas don't throw off my macro ratios.  Also, I do not wake up hungry.  But I want to have a sustained fast (12 hours).  Also, like we've discussed here on DD before, after dinner, THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED.

Tomorrow is weigh-in, so I think that I have the determination not to fall into either of these 2 pits.

 Did not have a great lower body weight training session after dinner, but it was something.  (Barbell squats, 4 sets of 15)

Work was actually OK.  Associate Attorney was out most of the day.  He still has not forwarded a single email to me.  I had a realtor email me yesterday saying, "I sent (AA) a contract earlier today but didn't hear back, so I'm sending it to you."  Ha ha ha - ya think???  I responded right away, thanking her for sending us the contract, saying we'd get started right away.  (And secretly thinking, That's what you get when you leave out Donkey.)

My husband had an appointment with his rheumatologist yesterday, and they discussed the fatty liver diagnosis.  She did mention that if he can't lose weight on diet alone, that he may need to go on a medically supervised diet, or worst case, do some kind of intervention (she suggested wiring jaw shut) to force the weight loss.

Still waiting to hear from the dietician...

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/09/2021:
You’re doing great! Keep on keeping on!

Wow, wiring the jaw shut. Like that new magnetic way of closing the mouth they developed in the UK, I think it was. They said it was for ppl who needed to lose weight prior to surgery.

Aren’t those medically supervised diets mostly liquids?

Donkey on 07/10/2021:
Thank you! You're right - I gotta keep on going. I also need to start thinking about what to do after I reach my goal, as far as how to maintain. I may continue to track macros for another complete month after I reach goal, to get the "feel" of maintaining, if that makes sense. So if I reach goal July 20th, then I would continue to track all of August (a full month), too.

I saw the mouth magnet you had posted, which looks a lot better than the photos I've seen of a jaw wired shut.

My mom was on a supervised diet that had real food. Yes, it also had shakes and meal replacement bars, but there were also prepared meals and a list of "free foods" that were unlimited, which I believe included non-starchy vegetables... maybe some/most/all fruits?

The program my mom used is called HMR. She said it worked for her because she never felt hungry. She's used the program twice, because she had gained 20 pounds after my step-father died.

I think something like that would work for my husband, if he couldn't lose the weight on his own. However, he DID lose 50 pounds on his own so that he could have hip replacement surgery. He CAN do it, but for him, dieting has an "end". He needs to make permanent lifestyle changes.

That's kind of why I want to go with him to meet the dietician.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2021:
nice job to watch yourself slipping and realize you want to continue to challenge yourself to do better. all within your limits and what you feel you need to do is of course what you should do! also, try to realize that whatever you do, there is wiggle room, so you can work on keeping your weight lower for a long time..You are almost at your set goal here. really nice work to you!

wow. wire of the jaw. i can send your hubby my jaw issue, he's certainly most prob eat less as it hurts to open my mouth wide. i still eat lol, but my jaw does hurt when i open it wide.

it's funny with not copying people on emails...same thing happens at work here, but most of the time everyone is copied as everyone knows it's best to copy everyone.

Donkey - Thursday Jul 08, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

Not as much time to post this morning.  Rode the bike longer than I had initially planned for a day with weights.  Did 2 leg weights exercises with the anticipation of doing more tonight.

I have an unexpected appointment at the DMV to renew my driver's license, so I'm already getting kind of anxious about that - governmental agencies, driving issues, it's all a psychological hurricane for me. Very intimidating.  The good news is that my daughter has an appointment for her driver's license too, at the same time, so hopefully we can go together, or at least meet up there.  So that will be my lunch hour.  I'm lucky to have an understanding Boss who lets us do things like that, within reason.

So for now, that nervousness is distracting me from any feelings of hunger, work-dread, etc. 

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/08/2021:
Sucks you have to go to DMV. Matt & I just renewed ours online. They made an exception due to covid. We were due to go in, but it’s postponed. Not the new Real ID, the other kind, but we have no plans to fly. So old is ok.

Donkey on 07/09/2021:
I wish I could have done mine online. If I didn't have that vision restriction preventing me from doing so, I certainly would have done so.

I believe that in Illinois, having the Real ID will become mandatory. The flyer my daughter got says October 1, 2021, but I think that's been extended into 2023 due to COVID.

horn_of_plenty on 07/08/2021:
i do not think a diet coke is the worst thing in the world and you have to call it BAD, maybe i'd call it BAD too, but, tasty and helpful at times.

below entry is why i try to keep treats at work, for those noshy times. especially treats that are sweets. so i have it to satisfy me when i want them.

i hope your DMV visit goes well, the only thing anxiety producing is the annoying wait (when i go....always a long line).

Donkey on 07/09/2021:
Had another Diet Coke yesterday, as a crutch. I do not want this to become a habit.

Going with my daughter made the DMV almost fun :-D We both agree that it sucks, and it never gets better.

Donkey - Wednesday Jul 07, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

Writing tonight, maybe instead of tomorrow morning, when I have more time.  I think I've caught up on comments to recent entries, except for Bear's because her diary is set to private right now, which is fine.

The reason I'm writing tonight is because I want to write about how HARD it was today as far as eating goes.  I had my big cup of chicken broth at 10:15am so I was still hungry at 11am.  Made myself another big cup.

I ate everything I brought for lunch and was satisfied, but that meant that all I had left was the Greek yogurt I brought for afternoon snack.  Sometimes I'll have my fruit from lunch right after I walk, and then yogurt later.

To help keep my hunger controlled, I had a diet Coke (BAD, I know) right before lunch, and then in the afternoon, I had a large cup of iced coffee (black).

When I  got home, I couldn't help but eat some red grapes, while waiting for dinner to start.  Had dinner. Had 2 chocolate Kisses and a large cup of decaf (with heavy whipping cream) as usual for dessert.  Did my evening routine.  Hungry again, so I just finished up a bowl of frozen banana slices.  And now I think I'm ready to go upstairs to get ready for bed.

I forgot to do my push-ups at work, so I did them tonight, before logging on (and before frozen banana)

I realized that if I am to fulfill my goal of going to the gym 1x during the week, tonight was the night to do it, and I did not. I suppose I could still go Friday night, if I want to, but I'm pretty sure that I won't.  This is a GOOD goal to have, but I guess I won't be making it this week.  I'll try again next week.  It might be easier, because I will be alone (with Daughter and Husband in Vegas).

I'm so glad tomorrow is Thursday!

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 07/08/2021:
Pushups, many people say, are one of the best upper body strength training moves!!! yes, a good exercise for upper body training.

will write more later.

Donkey - Wednesday Jul 07, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

Having an incredibly stressful morning today...  any extra time that I might have had was consumed by a big coffee mess that met me this morning.  I forgot to replace the carafe in the coffee machine, so there was coffee EVERYWHERE when I came downstairs this morning.  So  not only the big mess, but also the very disturbing feeling that I left so many things undone last night before I went upstairs to go to bed.  And yet, I STILL did not go promptly to sleep, but stayed up on my phone too damn late...

So hopefully this means that today can only get better.  

New Girl started yesterday and she'll be just fine.

Eating went well yesterday.

Yesterday was upper body weights and I did well.  

At least I remembered to do my push-ups - at work, in a private space.

Nice Lady is posting all over Facebook about her vacation.  Only she could take a vacation down to Florida just in time for the tropical storm.  So HUGE drama about her trying to fly back home early, finding a new hotel, being scared, blah blah blah.

Associate Attorney isn't checking his emails every day, and forwarding things that I should be working on, to me.  Oh well, not my place to say anything.  I hope there's contracts in there where we miss attorney review.  That's because people insist on emailing the *attorney* rather than the paralegal (me).  Dumb agents.

I thought my Boss was doing much better on a mentally functioning level until late yesterday afternoon, when I realized just how much he is slipping.  I was left with another big mess to deal with, and today, he can work on cleaning it up, because I've already had enough messes to clean up for today.

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/07/2021:
Wow! A shame about the coffee mess! I grind beans and use a drip coffee maker. Was broken hearted when the carafe broke when I washed it. Fortunately, I liked that red Bella coffee maker so much that I had 2. Matt repaired the broken one with a special glue. That carafe is stored away for future use in case I bust the second one worse. Being VERY careful with it!

Your job sounds so stressful! Would it work for you to do part time? That’s what Matt wants & he has, but they keep getting big contracts and making him do full time. When things are occasionally slow, he takes an unpaid day.

Donkey on 07/07/2021:
I don't know if I was more upset about the wasted coffee (used the good beans, too!), or the mess, or the fact that I forgot to finish up last night. The mess was physically hard and so time-consuming. And I thought I got it all, but my husband found more of it in the cupboard under the countertop. Then I found that the silverware drawer was full of coffee.

My personality would suit part-time work much better than full-time work, but right now, I feel that we can't financially afford it.

innerpeace on 07/07/2021:
Oh No about the coffee. When my mom was visiting she did that. Good thing DH was close buy and only a bit ran all over the counter. It happens...

We had a hydrologist that was called in to help on the east coast offices (usually North & South Carolina) and I would have to schedule her flights in and out during the mess of hurricanes - so incredibly troublesome so in a way I feel for Nice Lady...but then the mean side wants to say...it's been all over the news for a week so she should have postponed in advance....oh those pesky Hurricanes, just pop up out of the blue like that ruining plans at a moment's notice.

I hope New Girl works out. Great job on ding your push ups at work. Have a great evening!

Donkey on 07/07/2021:
I've done this before, but the mess was not as extensive.

From what I can see on Facebook, Nice Lady is still making the best of the vacation. So... I think she seeks drama, and likes the attention she gets when she makes a big deal about things.

horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2021:
yuck what a coffee mess, so sorry! !!!

nice job with office pushups, lately i am missing my 5 min walks at lunch due to catching up with coworkers, small chat, which may be more important anyways as it's only 5 min and sometimes getting along with coworkers is better.

I have advice that in his emails, attorney should highlight in yellow the typing and write to always CC you on their responses to him...

i highly advise trying to change up the system and urging attorney to add that sentence somwhere into his emails where they can see it.

Donkey on 07/07/2021:
I think that the chatting with co-workers is more important in your case. There's nothing like having solid relationships at work.

The attorneys don't use email. The emails are supposed to come through my desk and I coordinate the communications. The attorneys write letters that I send back and forth.

This is changing with New Guy but I'm not his assistant. But he uses email a LOT and his assistant (Mistakes Girl) is always copied. His agents seem to be much more compliant in the request to copy her in all emails.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2021:
older lady, 44 lol, at work...she said she's motivated to now get into pushups. she works out tons. much stronger than me. prob stronger than one man at work. she's tough.

she never did pushups, but she thinks it will improve her overall build! so there! pushups are GOOD!

Donkey on 07/07/2021:
The older lady is right! She'll need to be consistent. I know that "every day" isn't the healthiest goal, which is why I do them for only a month. But to incorporate them in upper body weight training days is a great idea. Hmm... I think I'll do that in August, so as not to lose all the gains I anticipate making this month.

Donkey - Monday Jul 05, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

SO GLAD AND GRATEFUL I have today off for the holiday ....  And even better, I know that tomorrow (Tuesday) when I go back to work, most of the attorneys will be gone all day.  Yay!!!

Had my morning bike ride, and after I'm done writing here, I plan to go outside and enjoy the fresh air before it gets too hot. Oh my yesterday was BRUTAL outside, like standing in front of an open oven.  No fireflies, but the cicadas are here, so yes, it's summer.

I'm waiting for Daughter to get up to see what she feels like doing today, if anything.  I'm thinking a coffee shop and then maybe some sales shopping at Bath & Body Works for scented candles  I think getting my nails done is kind of out of my comfort zone - but I'll do it if that's really what she wants to do.  I'd love to go to the gym, but Mondays are usually my rest day, and I'm thinking that maybe I really need the rest.  I could move my rest day to Wednesday...  Or I could do a light workout...  Or maybe I'll go tonight?  I'm not sure.

Cleaning those stairs yesterday was quite the endeavor.  My left hand/wrist started hurting - must have been leaning on it or using it incorrectly.  In fact by the end of the cleaning, my arms - especially my triceps - were letting me know that they were done.  I should do the stairs more often and perhaps only half at a time, like a rotation or schedule.

I was tired after the stairs, so when I went to the gym, I chose not to go "gung ho" but took it rather easy.  It was not crowded at all. 

Dinner with the Husband was quiet, and I went to bed early because I was tired.  I could see some fireworks from sitting in bed!  And when those stopped around 9:30p, I turned off the light and went to sleep for some much needed rest... 

AFTERNOON EDIT:  Looks like I will be having a late lunch with my daughter, and then see what happens from there.  This will be my first time back in an indoor restaurant.  

I'm not sure about the shopping... I think Horn or IP had posted that the deals weren't that great?  Maybe it was Mistakes Girl?  And I'm not sure I want to deal with any of that.

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm up to date on my daily push-ups challenge, even though that means I was up at 11pm doing push-ups on Saturday night, LOL...

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/05/2021:
Cooler here today.

No circadas, but some beautiful fireflies dancing on the lawn last night.

Hate fireworks. They scared Frankie. Poor tiny baby mutt.

Donkey on 07/05/2021:
Cooler temps due here on Tuesday or Wednesday, and they should last a stretch.

I love the sound of cicadas in the summer -- takes me way back to my childhood.

The fireworks were very pretty - that I saw - but I could do without the real loud boomers, and I detest crowds, probably even more so now after COVID.

Jacky82020 on 07/05/2021:
Fireworks are pretty from a distance. The house across the street, up on a hill, was owned for years by a neurosurgeon who put on an incredible display. Drove me & the dogs nuts. Thank god he finally moved! must have cost him thousands of dollars. he was a really nice guy. Loved mowing his vast lawn and plowed our snow for free whenever he did his driveway, which was often.

bearcountrygg on 07/05/2021:
Good job with the push up challenge!!! Sounds like cleaning the stairs is a workout in it's self!!...That's not a bad thing!

bearcountrygg on 07/05/2021:
No fireworks here but lots of gun shots after dark......

Horn_of_plenty on 07/05/2021:
i know what you mean, my mom always had trouble finding pants as she is also petite and has some curves.

now some stores have the "short" sizes like at old navy which sometimes has deals. but of course you'd want to visit the store to see how their pants fit. good for you on the second-hand. huge savings with that! maybe in the future i'll venture more that way, but i tend to do pretty well with Old Navy as i have their credit card and the past few years i use it to make other purchases too - and i get rewarded in dollars and then get free clothes. i like their clothes, so it works out well.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/05/2021:
i cannot believe people complain they have no rights here in the US. let me tell you, France (my friend lives there) has had a lot more regulation on what people can and can't do up until this point. I believe masks must still be worn everywhere in paris, but not positive.

you are so smart not to push that shoulder more than you should. by not pushing, you'll prolong all the things you can do, without more pain.

Reading your entry from yesterday, it sounds wonderful. you have a great relationship with your daughter, since she is your only daughter unlike my sister and i...it's a different relationship between us and my mom - though my relationship with my mom has improved greatly, lately! :)

Horn_of_plenty on 07/05/2021:
i'm grateful to have the extra time off, too. yesterday i thought it was going by slowly, but now it's flying by! (Hello 5:30pm Monday!)

That's right! It's $10 off the 3 wick candles. the only better deal of the year is after thanksgiving, when they are less than $10 each.... :) i was so tempted to go in there yesterday as there was a B&B Works in the shopping center, but since i still have candles at home, i told myself to wait until November LOL. Literally though.

Fireworks here went on forever last night! They were pretty and loud :) Def making up for last year's minimal works.

Nice you could see them from your bed. It's VERY easy for me to see plenty of them also.

Wise of you to just do what you could at the gym, especially after a home workout of cleaning :) that's exercise too :)

Let us know if the indoor restaurant was worth it - was the food good :)

Donkey - Sunday Jul 04, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!  Democracy isn't easy but I'm so grateful that I live in this country.

What an odd-feeling morning, though...  Almost felt like a Monday.  Blasphemy!  And it doesn't feel like a holiday.  We don't do much for this holiday.

Had a great (?) workout at the gym yesterday...  I did 10 minutes more on the elliptical (30 minutes instead of 20), and that's great, but I didn't like the pre-programmed pattern/route that comes along with that 10 minute extension.  So I won't do that again unless it's a "cardio only" day.  I did slightly heaver upper body weights, and tried a new machine for shoulders, but that was a mistake.  My left shoulder has either a touch of arthritis or an old injury that didn't heal properly, and I could feel that I was REALLY testing its' limits.  Fortunately, Left Shoulder has been forgiving this morning, but I *won't* use that machine again.  I need to use very light hand-held weights if I'm going to do lateral raises.

Food and water went well.  No challenges there.

 My daughter had to go into work early, so she was up at 7am - quite a change in her routine, and thus, my morning routine, since she usually works 2nd shift hours and doesn't wake up early.  It was nice to see her and chat a little bit.

TOM finally decided to show up today, in full force WITH cramps, so the gym might be kind of "iffy" today and tomorrow. Still, I'm glad it showed up on my days off, so that I can deal with it in the comfort of my own home.

Today I've decided to try to shampoo the carpeted stairs - there are about 15 of them, 2 of them with a larger surface area, because the stairs are not straight up, but turn at the wall.  I figured it would be good to vacuum them first, which is quite challenging on the arms.  I'll start the shampoo adventure after I'm done writing here.  Should not take more than an hour.  However, I anticipate that this too will be somewhat physically demanding (hand-held attachment, not like a vacuum cleaner).

Daughter proposed a couple of different activities that we could do together, in addition to the gym:  there are a couple of cafes that she wants to try (we'd go to one or the other, not both) and she suggested getting our nails done.  This is why I think I may just go to the gym on my own, do it quick, come home and shower & clean up, and then do things with my daughter.  Her job is very physically demanding, so I'm not sure that going to the gym on her day off is what she wants to do.  And because of TOM, I've kind of ruled out the hot tub and/or steam room.  Besides, hot tub and steam room don't feel all that great when it's 90F degrees out...  Yes, I think we will something OTHER than the gym, as long as she is OK with that.

No yoga tomorrow, because the instructor is going out to dinner with her out-of-town son.  I'm completely OK with that.  Daughter *might* be home with us, but I'm guessing she'll find something to do with friends, either in real life or online.  That's fine.

Anyway, for today, I'm hoping to catch a nap later on, either before or after the gym or both, LOL...

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 07/04/2021:
When I do the elliptical my right foot falls asleep for some reason. I tried different shoes and loosening the laces - so weird.

Have a great time with your daughter whatever the activity. And have a great day!

Donkey on 07/05/2021:
I've had that happen. I've heard it is the position of one's foot on the pedal platform that causes that. That is to say, it's how you're built. And I've tried some ellipticals that ergonomically just didn't work for me - pain, numbness, awkward positioning. I recently heard from some lady that the elliptical hurts her hips, so she prefers the treadmill. To each their own - I would not want to use a machine that made me lose feeling in my feet, that's for sure.

Jacky82020 on 07/04/2021:
Hey, you’re gonna burn off lots of calories doing those stairs!

Sounds like a great workout.

The husband had terrible shoulder pain. Turns out cartridge wore off at the joint and was floating around from all the heavy lifting. They sucked it out laparoscopically & gave us a gross video. Fixed the pain and I told him to lighten up, but he never did and it’s still ok.

Donkey on 07/05/2021:
Oh my those stairs --It was a lot harder than I thought it would be, and took a little longer than I had anticipated.

Jacky82020 on 07/05/2021:
Reward yourself with a Ch’King sandwich! You’ll love it. I get the spicy one. Yum!

Donkey - Saturday Jul 03, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

 Good morning!  So looking forward to the long weekend.   Nothing special planned, but just enjoying being home.  I am wondering where June went though, because it seems as though we just had a 3-day holiday weekend not so long ago...

Weigh-in....  I'm not sure about this because Husband was in the bathroom with me and watching me weigh myself (not intently, but just watching because he was THERE).  So there was no way that I could explain my 3-times weigh-in  and still sound like a sane person.  And because the first time I stepped on the scale got an error message, I only weighed in once.  OK, I'll take it!  Only 2 more pounds to go, but I will remind myself that this is a good number to be at too, and that's great!  Like I mentioned to Horn in comments to yesterday's entry, I got myself "unstuck" and moving forward.  That is the real victory.

Yesterday, after I added my "morning edit", I got dressed for work and realized that I fit into my beige pair of capri pants this year!  They feel too snug at 145, so I could not wear them at all last summer.  That's a nice victory to have, too -- physical validation that I've lost weight.  

Definitely have going to the gym on the agenda today, Sunday, and Monday.  Daughter thinks she has Monday off, and said she'd go with me.  Well, I'm definitely going on my day off, whether she comes along or not, but that would be nice... really nice.  I did not take a walk this morning, but maybe I'll try one in the evening.

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/03/2021:
Way to go, girl! You’re doing great. Congrats.

Donkey on 07/04/2021:
Thank you!!! I *should* be able to lose 2 pounds, in one month, right? (lol?)

bearcountrygg on 07/03/2021:
Congrats on getting unstuck!!!! And the pants!!!!! Definitely go to the gym...you are on a roll!!

Donkey on 07/04/2021:
For me, the momentum (in the right direction) is the real feat. I tend to be inert in most, if not all, aspects of my life.

Honest tracking has been the game changer for me.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/04/2021:
Me too! just LOVING this long weekend. and it does feel long right now - being it's still only Sunday morning ! :)

June went by really fast for me, too.

Yes, you are definitely "unstuck!" Visually, just looking at your chart, is the proof!

I also love that feeling of putting on pants that used to be too tight and having them fit well. I have had that feeling a few times in life; loved it!

Have fun at the gym - I am eager to go but it doesn't fit into my schedule now anyways. Let us know if you go alone or with your daughter.

Donkey on 07/04/2021:
I'm short, but have "thicker" thighs and wider hips than what most waistlines call for, so finding pants - much less capri pants or peddle-pushers is quite challenging. Add to the equation is that I buy mainly second-hand nowadays. I've had quite a few second-hand clothes, that I believe were donated because the sizing was off - either on the tag or in the measurement & cut of the material.

So that I can add a pair of any bottoms is GREAT! And especially for summer, because most of my pants are more for cooler weather.

This weekend is my husband's medication day for his auto-immune disease, so I do not expect his participation in going to the gym at all. Monday is up in the air, and I'll write more about that in today's (Sunday's) entry.

Donkey - Friday Jul 02, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

Last night was really difficult, emotionally.  I was feeling anxious and that developed into depression.  I started feel so hopeless, with nowhere to turn.  It was getting late (after 10p), so I decided to TRY to sleep, if I could fall asleep - and fortunately, I was able to fall asleep without too much difficulty.  Woke up this morning - quite early, just after 4am -  feeling much more optimistic.  

I've been noticing with this weight loss, I have been struggling more on an emotional level.  Anxiety, loneliness, sadness...  I think this is a chemical thing going on, because of less calories, less carbs.  Also, I need to keep in mind that with TOM starting (maybe?  My uterus seems to not be able to make up its mind about that...), that hormones are going to be very influential in my moods.  So best not to feel too "hopeless" because all of this will most likely be temporary.

Mistakes Girl and I are the only legal assistants in the office today, so there will be more pressure to cover phones, but hopefully, at  least in the afternoon, the phones will get quiet, with people starting their holiday weekend early.  In fact, Husband brought up the possibility that I might get to leave the office early, out of the Boss' generosity.  I know not to expect this, but wouldn't that be nice?  I've already decided that if I do get to leave around 3pm, that Husband and I will go out for coffee.  (The loan officer that screamed at me on Wednesday sent me a gift card as a thank you yesterday.  <<<I just realized that the card was probably mailed out before the screaming started.  Oh well...)

The 2 associates (Associate Attorney and New Guy) have closings today, so the Boss will have no one to talk to except the 2 of us gals.  That just gets so annoying, because it's nothing of substance.  It's all small talk.  I have to think that maybe he and his wife DON'T speak to each other much when he's home, and he has this desperate need to talk.

Also, I realized yesterday that this weekend is the 2-year anniversary of his heart attack.

MORNING EDIT:  Since I got up so early, I had plenty of time to take a walk around my neighborhood loop.  I should do this more often!  I found myself smiling at birds, trees, beautiful flowers...

It might be a higher coffee day, because of the early wake-up, and that's OK too.

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/02/2021:
I do see you’re doing great on the weight loss per your graph. Nice! Ppl who restrict their calories or fast say they feel better mentally. Always the same for me. Can’t do fasts, but can restrict calories and I just fell hungry, not anxious or depressed. Often emotions are inexplicable.

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
Thank you! And you are right about the mental clarity and such, which is why I'm thinking these negative sensations are hormonal and fatigue related. It's important that I remind myself that whatever I am feeling (negatively) will only be temporary, and that I just have to ride it out.

I suffered from major depression from at least the age of 10 through my early 20's. I thought it would never end.

bearcountrygg on 07/03/2021:
When I get anxiety...or get edgy/depressed...i take tylenol...it seems to settle me right down.

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
THAT might not be a bad idea, especially at night, to help me relax. Actually, that might work, too, at work! I'm going to keep this tip in my pocket and give it a try.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2021:
i am glad you woke up feeling better than you did last night. lately, i only feel anxious time to time, but no depression.

that's why i cannot do the low carb. it has def caused me to feel low energy/depressed in the past.

i'm glad you got a gift card! have fun using it. def don't take the sceams of that loan officer to heart.

i can't believe it's already been two years since boss' heart attack. the time flies.

isn't it nice when a morning has extra time (on work days) and you can feel so accomplished and realize you have already got things done before the workday has started!? :)

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
Good points on the carbs! When I start feeling that sad feeling at night, I "hear" Bear in my head saying, "Carbs are happy foods, and I want to be happy!" However, for right now, I do not self-medicate with carbs at night. For me, that can be a slippery slope. However, if I do find myself unable to cope, I might have a sheet of graham crackers and take a Tylenol (as she suggested to me above), and go to bed.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2021:
also, do not be fearful of your weightloss. i think it may be anxiety over the change, donkey, of your weight, as well as any changes in eating. try to let the change stick. you are doing well and push yourself to reap the rewards. do not get into a mindset that you cannot continue this - you are doing exceptionally well right now - like the best you have done in a year! that is celebration deserved. keep your motivation as well as your self assurance that this is something you can do.

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
100% RIGHT - and I really appreciate that you wrote this.

I got myself "unstuck" and moving forward again. WOW!

Donkey - Thursday Jul 01, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

Thank you, Thursday!!!!  It's finally here, the day that I kept thinking it was. And it's a new month - HAPPY JULY!!!  

Yesterday at work was very trying.  I seriously thought about quitting. Just along the lines of: Is this job really worth it?  I was getting screamed at by a loan officer (mortgage broker) to "do my job" on something that wasn't my job (it was the attorney but our Associate Attorney is such a goof off and loser that he wasn't going to do anything about it until forced to at the closing table) and something that wasn't even my doing.  I submit figures to the title company for closing.  I check math, but I don't ask for the removal of figures that I didn't submit.  If the loan officer wants a $$ figure removed, ASK FOR IT YOURSELF, YOU BIG DUMMY.  That was my morning yesterday.

Then, out of the blue, Nice Lady changes procedure and starts uploading attachments and printing documents on files that aren't hers!!!  Just out of the blue!!!  See, as Male Co-Worker explained it to me, she really regrets complaining about having too much work to do and regrets that the Boss has hired a part-timer to do most of her job.  So now she's like in overdrive, trying to work on as much as possible.  Plus, she's bored, so she makes this "extra work" for herself, but it messes up my files.  It took me 15 minutes to figure out what she had done and to make corrections.  Plus, she didn't print out the documents on the right sized paper, so I had to re-print them.  Thank goodness she's out tomorrow and all of next week.  GOOD-BYE.  And when she returns the New Girl will have started.

Eating was fine.  I resisted having the chicken broth for a morning snack, trying to avoid the extra sodium for a day.  I got very hungry but held off until (an earlier) lunch at noon.  I developed a headache in the morning, which I don't know if that was because of the stress of getting screamed at, low blood sugar, allergies, or TOM --- which has started unexpectedly a week early.

Daughter said she'd go to the gym with me last night but then she went out during the day and didn't come home until late, starving for dinner and time with her mom (which is so nice).  So I sat with her while she had her dinner and we talked.  I really wanted to go to the gym, but my body was giving me signals that maybe it wasn't a good idea.  When TOM starts, there is a lot of fatigue in my legs (because of the anemia), and while I was getting ready for bed -- which would have been at the same time I would be arriving at the gym -- I started yawning.  So logically, I think I made the right decision, but emotionally, I was quite disappointed that I didn't make it to the gym. 

One really good thing that happened though is that Daughter helped me move my weight-bench.  I didn't want to ask Husband to do it, but it's a 2 person job.  Now I can use the squat rack for squats (and variations thereof). I had been wanting to set this up for a while, and now it's done.  Took less than a minute.


  • 3 sets of 15 daily push-ups (modified or "girl" style because of my lower back) - maybe do these at work during the week, as a break from sitting at my desk, getting screamed at.
  • Make it to the gym during the work week at 1x per week, probably on Wednesdays, which is a cardio-only day.
  • Stick to using the Lose It app to reach weight goal THIS MONTH, even if it pushes out my goal date.

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/01/2021:
Maybe it’s time to give Walmart a whirl! That job and those ppl sound so stressful.

Use the sodium free granulated buillion! The regular has close to a gram of sodium. I’m gonna post a pic for you.

Donkey on 07/02/2021:
Thank you for posting the picture! Yes, I've got to try the sodium free stuff, because this much salt on a long-term basis isn't a good thing.

I realized as I was coming home yesterday that working at Walmart wouldn't be working with a shining example of humanity either. I'm sure that rude customer a-holes are much worse than the BS I deal with at work. So now I don't know...

horn_of_plenty on 07/01/2021:
i'm loving this new month. Honestly, it's a relaxed atmosphere right now in my job trailer. I'm really thankful because it's sort of the release / break i needed to feel at this point. Plus being able to take days off with ease because it's summer - July is welcome! :)

Do you think that this "overdrive" that nice lady is in will last? sometimes people push it, but usually they slow back down again...

you can always use half the boullion and then it'd be like using half the salt of the package..

My TOM also started a little early. I think the others' cycles in the trailer has caused that. i don't mind ;)

so happy you can now use the weight bench and squat rack.

i'm a big fan of your pushup goals. pushups are what i attribute my stronger looking upper body to - almost entirely.

have a good day - today i may walk outside for cardio - after a big rain storm, it's quite nice and comfortable. tomorrow it may rain!

Donkey on 07/02/2021:
I think Nice Lady is trying to earn the extra money she gets for doing these certain tasks while she can, because she knows very soon, someone else will be doing these things.

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