HAPPY APRIL! A new month, new goals, new opportunities abound!
I heard something last night that really caught my ear and made me think: "Thank you for the privilege of your time." When I woke up this morning, I looked out my window to see perfectly blue sky and thought, I have the whole day in front of me to do something.
Well, as it turns out, the day has started to get cluttered with things to do. I have to vote early today, because I signed up for 2 free seminars at the library on Monday night and Tuesday night (electon day) that I *REALLY* want to go to. So I asked my husband if he'd like to go with me to vote, and he said he would, which makes me happy because it's more of together-thing. I proposed that we stop at the library on the way home so that he can pick up a new library book to read, and he's good with that too. We're becoming an old married couple that you see roaming around town running errands.
I have a few television shows that I'd like to catch today, if I can. One is a travel show on Scotland, one is an interview with the author of the book "Zero to Hero" about a boy who was bullied in school, but went on to be a decorated Vietnam war hero. This is a book that I've wanted to read, but my library system doesn't have it - yet. Depending on the interview, I am thinking about buying this book for my son, since he had a really hard time growing up. I'd like to read it first, though, really, before I give it out as a gift. Anyway, the TV interview is on today, so that I can do most immediately. Because TV is so time consuming, I will also use this time to weight train. I will also fold and put away my laundry while watching TV.
Speaking of laundry... This is not diet-related, but I am washing my son's bedding this weekend, and inadvertently found what ended up to be a load of his clothes (in various places on his floor, LOL), so I'm feeling a little nostalgic today too. We are hoping he will call today. My husband said this morning, "I really hope he's doing well." Me too...
APRIL GOALS:
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
I can't believe I entered a whole long entry about my weigh-in and the problem at work and my pre-op challenge ahead, only to receive "504 Internal Error" when I hit "submit".
Wow.
OK, giving this another try, in short spurts, only because I feel inspired by the lessons I learned about myself.
I am at peace with the number on the scale. I would have liked to have seen 131, but had I seen that, I may have been inclined to try to get back into the 120s again.
Confronted the client who dumped on me on Thursday. We had questions to ask her about her sale, and rather than hiding and not dealing with this, by having Nice Lady call the client, I took the file and made the call myself.
We talked about my questions relating to her property, and then she chose to bring up her dissatisfaction from Thursday. It turns out that she's more frustrated with my Boss that with me. Also, she's comparing her last transaction from 10 years ago to this one, and things have changed so much. So I explained what I could to her and then tried to explain where maybe my boss was coming from (in fact, I know where he was coming from, but I'm done with defending other people - and I'm especially done with defending my boss). I invited her to speak with my boss next week to address her concerns about our service. She seemed OK with that.
Then I took extra time to answer her questions and explain more about what she'll be doing next. She did mention that she's really stressed out about having to buy and sell. I agreed, it's a lot to handle one, much less both at the same time.
I felt much better, and learned a couple of things for myself:
Title Company Dave brought in Panera pastries during his customer service rounds. Queen Bee was lamenting to me that this isn't WW friendly, that he didn't bring fruit, and we talked about how much we would have preferred fresh fruit - which he doesn't bring any more.
I went back to my desk and about 10 or 15 minutes later, walked by the boxes of Panera, and she had already taken half of a muffin top. Yep.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
Yes, i was just thinking relatively a short while ago of the advice that it's very important to "make peace" with yourself and love yourself as you currently are. like, that woman who posted the knee fat / knee musculature on facebook. bodies and muscles just don't change overnight and some in fact is genetics. but changes take a long time and also we cannot just "change our jobs / lifestyles" and we have to learn how to be content with our work so far, the bodies we have.
i have cellulite on the back of my legs - not big on muscle as you know on my legs. and i just know that in the summer i'll walk at beach and be happy with where i am at. you know, you have to love yourself for what you do to work your body and make it how you'd like. but, the worst thing is to wake up and hate yourself and that's why you exercise.
be happy your legs work and that your body can do the types of exercise you use to keep it conditioned. after all the work is done, you have to accept so far where you are at. nobody is critiquing your legs or any other part as much as you would.
this is the same for me. have to learn to love even the parts that are imperfect and more than we'd like.
LOL Panera pastries. since when is any pastry exactly diet friendly. they must be quite large.
So yesterday, I finally managed to get caught up. The day was exhausting, busy, chaotic... and then at the very end, one of our clients - who was spazzing out all day about her transactions - crapped all over me, accusing me of not caring about her closings. Just great. So after all that hard work, I get to go home and feel like crap.
It is getting to the point where it's just not worth it, but I know that any other job that deals with people has the same kind of crap, too. What is wrong with people?
I've been witnessing another work drama at a nonprofit that my boss is involved in. The director lady has dedicated her life to this organization, only to be fired in the end. I get it. I mean, she's 81, has been missing a few things, missed the deadline for a $ 40000 grant. My point is, you can't give too much of yourself to your job because in the end, they'll break your heart -- every time.
I apologize for this entry this morning, as it's not really weight loss related. I will try to write a new entry that is more goal focused, later today or tonight, but if I don't have time, I'll write tomorrow after weigh-in.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
Not everyone treats everyone respectfully..like hello!?...Ricky!? he's so rude to the public.
don't expect to be treated well by everyone...and when they do rude things to you, try to realize they've got the problem, rather than go home feeling sour.
you are right! there's always work drama. just observe it and keep working. if you keep quiet, the drama will not be about you, most of the time.
i've been in several industries, and teaching it seems, by far, was the LEAST dramatic. probably bc i spent only 4 years there.
but there's drama everywhere. best way to avoid it is to lay low. let the big mouths be big mouths, even if they are wrong.
it's just not worth it...unfortunately, to teach anyone any lessons otherwise, especially as in trying to teach a bully. bullies are bullies forever. now i'm just speaking in general, not to you, but from my own experiences.
life is short. remember that work is work...and that those people are not necessarily who you'd choose as friends - same as your clients. and they aren't acting like your friends.
Sometimes, it seems like every time you try to be positive, there is someone just around the corner ready to take you down a notch or two. Chin up! Life will be better the faster you can let it go without letting it get to you.
Weight training never happened last night. Long story short, I ended up staying late (again) yesterday to finish opening up new files. I am quite pleased to say that all of our files are opened up. I just have to order 2 titles, and then Nice Lady can contact the clients to welcome them.
This peace of mind was totally worth the tradeoff, except that then we didn't finish up dinner until 8p! That's why no weights.
So what will I do tonight? I missed upper body last night? Do I do lower body tonight? Or a shortened combo program? My daughter is home today and wanted to spend time with me tonight by running some errands. And then, there's the possiblity that I'll have more contracts to open today! I think I will opt to forego weights and overtime in order to come home and spend time with my family. These days with any kids home are getting more and more limited. I want to seize them while I can.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
good job finishing your work and getting organized! i know exactly how nice that feels!
Pulling back.... I am now finished with my supply of fat bombs and not making more. I seem to be running into issues in the evening wanting a lot of dessert. This is turning into an ongoing problem, so I'm going to start working on it.
I want to be a mindful eater, in food choices and at the pace in which I eat. That's going to be my new focus and goal.
Work: it was disheartening to receive 3 more contracts. Will I ever catch up? Nice Lady offered to help, so I have her reaching out to clients to welcome them and getting more information and answer any questions they have now at the beginning. I am grateful for this, as it is out of my comfort zone and it can also be very time consuming.
If I get no more contracts today, I should be able to catch up completely on new files.
I found a huge error Mistakes Girl has been making on all files on a very important deadline date. I will need to show her what she's missing and then figure out a way to correct her procedure so that this doesn't happen again moving forward. It could bite us/me hard if we miss this in the future.
Male Coworker started harping on me yesterday about opening up these new files. I said, Working on it! He is out of the office for the remainder of the week. In fact, this morning, it's just me, the Boss, and Queen Bee, whenever she decides to show up. (She usually comes in at about 9:30a.)
Tonight is upper body weights. Hopefully, I will have the time and energy.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
Mindful eating is a good habit. I am sooo not even close with that!
Great job on getting thru your work and i'm glad that you are getting some help from nice lady! awesome!
yeah, in order to fix mistakes you've gotta explain it to the person making them or they'll just keep happening!
Have fun doing upper body. Do an extra rep for me, ok!?
i always have better weights sessions when i'm well rested...hence my eagerness to get to bed early tonight to have a great workout tomorrow!
This reminds me that I can discuss joining a gym with the family tonight at dinner. My son's training was the only thing motivating anyone else going to the gym. Now that he's gone, no one goes. I wish I could go, but I have no membership... and no time.
Work is busy! Mistakes Girl is on vacation for 1.5 weeks, just in time for the spring real estate rush! I stayed 1.5 hours late and stopped about halfway through. If we don't get any more contracts today, I'll be able to catch up. Initially I was resentful of her taking vacation during the season, but when I quit last night, I decided it's a miracle she's still with us. What a mundane, thankless job... and so totally against her creative, artistic personality. She should get a raise. And I can completely understand why she makes so many mistakes! So frustrating!
So a few of things...
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
it takes a LONG time to have more msucle definition. usually you start to feel a little bulky before that feeling goes away bc the fat is turning to muscle and taking up less room. at least that's been the case with my body.
even if you have less definition than you want, your clothes should begin to fit a little better as you build muscle.
moderation is key...i see nothing crazy wrong with opening something you have at home as you wait for the monkfruit. i have tried monkfruit sweetener and like it. only reason i use stevia is i always have and why change something that i like!?
i keep forgetting i even have the supplements at home - i'm trying to use them with my home workouts. the taste is bad. i have to sweeten it, for sure, with stevia. i forget the brand of the amino powder i am using at the moment. bought a few brands as there was a sale to try them all from Vitamin Shoppe. 3 brands / flavors.
remember that even a little change is something to get used to. change is goood and so is routine. the more you practice something, the better you get at it and more change of the body to show that change (all my own opinions here).
But either way, it's not good. However, I can now see how it's easy to miss those mistakes. Unlike her, though, I find them, because I take the time to look, which is fine I really don't have to spare.
I'm hoping to get some keto baking in today. While yesterday was sunny and everyone was outside, today is cloudy and the rain keeps teasing us here. I imagine that maybe not so many people will be outside today.
Thought I ran all my errands yesterday, but it appears that I didn't get everything needed at the grocery. Hmm...
Lower leg workout today sometime.
AFTERNOON EDIT: Due to lack of autos in our family at the current moment (daugher's car is in the shop again), I decided to just stay home, which is fine.
I am expecting a library book to come in on Monday or Tuesday, and I can go to the store at that time and get whatever it is we may need.
My keto baking did not go so well today. The stewed/jellied cranberries I made are delicious, by cooking them down an extra 2 minutes, and I got the Swerve sweetener just at the right balance. However, the keto "fat head dough" flat bread I made did not turn out well, as it stuck to the parchment paper. I was able to salvage like the upper half of each slice, leaving the melted bottoms stuck to the paper. Wah wah.
My lower body workout was excellent! I was very mindful when during lunges and it paid off. I am ready to get ripped!
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
Cranberries sound great - i don't think i'll be making any more till next year since i used mine all up :)
sorry about the fathead...will it be better to grease the bottom or was it too greased and that was the problem?
last night at gym i was more energetic than usual, so i did a full upper/lower workout. glad to knock legs out of the way for several days (i think 2x a week will be enough for me and legs right now!) it's not optimal 2 days, but it's enough with everything else and i know i won't lose anything - although gains don't come so well with 2x a week...like i said, good enough for now!
most of my leg work is lunges (in place, not walking ones) and squats. great exercises.
OK, this will sound silly, but I'm happy to see that I've lost half a pound. I know that this is really just maintenance. I don't know what it is, but there is something terribly rewarding about seeing a lower number on the scale - even in maintenance. You know, this is almost *disturbing* if I think about it.
I have remained consistent or maybe even stepping up a little bit with the weights, but I am not seeing any visible changes -- no muscle cuts, not getting leaner -- and I am losing a little weight?
I'm proud of myself for curbing the sugar free candy habit in the evenings. I'm down to having just one, and now I'm out. I am not going to buy any more for home. I still have a bag at work, but that's going to stay at work, to use as a crutch/vice with the stresses at work. Also, I do not think I will be making any more chocolate peanut butter bombs. I would rather enjoy a square of dark chocolate (the darkest I can go is 90% - and I love this. Not sweet, but anything higher tastes like baker's chocolate, which I cannot do - way too bitter).
I mentioned this in my response to Maria's post, but I have noticed just how much I love and miss sugar. My biggest downfall is needing sugar in my coffee. I LOVE saccharine (Sweet N Low - the pink packets). Just one packet is a sweet treat in my coffees! But it's awful for a body - that stuff is poison. So I've been searching for a substitute that works. Unfortunately Stevia leaves a very tinny bitter aftertaste. Swerve leaves an unpleasant cooling aftertaste and requires 3 TBSP to be sweet enough. I've had mild success with Lakanto Monkfruit blend but that is expensive and it takes about 2 TBSP to get to an acceptable level of sweetness.
I can drink my coffee unsweetened, but I do not like it unsweetened every time. And sometimes I use sweetened coffee as a substitute for eating dessert.
While I was at the grocery store, I was giving some serious contemplation to adapting a plant-based diet. I've tried that before and it just doesn't work for me, but I really wish it did.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
You are right, I need to come to terms with numbers on the scale and then move on. That's why I feel that weight training would help - if I could only start to actually see results!
A half a pound is not enough to see cuts i don't think...but give it a few pounds and you will. Maybe a few more months of your upper body weights!
YUP, that 98% cacao chocolate i bought -omg too much taste like Baker's indeed...i will probably do something with it like melt it into yogurt or something. it is too strong is right! well, at least i can't overeat it!...it's just too strong to want to overeat on!
i also am sorta "off" of the fat bombs. lately, it's just smaller pieces of things, with some sugar...but i do love my "good fats" bars i've been eating, but i'm eating them as i have a "mocha coffee" made use the k-cups and since it's free at work, i use two kk-cups: one of coffee, and one of chocoalte lol. and i mix it into one cup, 4 ounces for the coffee and like 6 ounces for the chocolate, then add a little milk and it's a mocha coffee! there's some sugar but not a ton. and with the "fats bar" it's still ok. change of pace for awhile, i'm bored of coffee plain and needed something to go with the fats bar and find that having NO sugar in the AM doesn't give me an energetic feeling at all in the mroning at work and i do not like that feeling, at least not right now as of late! i sort of crave an energy boost when i get to work...probably because i don't eat before work, only when i get there after commuting so i am craving energy i guess? who knows!
i will say that i cannot take caffeine without some kind of real sugar too. that's why i'd always mix a coffee (with stevia usually) with a granola bar on the side. i don't do well having caffeine without any sugar. that's why when i USED to have energy drinks, there was a granola bar or fruit involved too!
Still struggling with my GI system a bit. These iron pills really throw me for a loop. I am supposed to take them on an empty stomach, which makes me nauseated. They also cause some mild constipation. I have also been feeling very bloated in the abdomin this week. My daughter suggested hot water with lemon, and I have found that this is such a nice thing to drink even if I wasn't having problems. I will probably stop this once the weather gets really warm, but I must remember to do this as often as I can. I had a cup of this in the morning, instead of a 2nd cup of coffee, and now I am enjoying a cup of it right now.
When I went to my GI appointment, of course, they had to weigh me. I must remember going forward that ANY doctor that I see will weigh me.
When I stepped on the scale, I shut my eyes, but no worries, because the doctor sent me home with a print-out of the summary of my appointment, and sure enough, there was my weight: 137.8.
Skipped my evening bike ride and had a dinner date with my husband (had a very nice salad with chicken, brought home the cornbread for my vegetarian daughter, and skipped the ice cream dessert), and then we went grocery shopping together. It was fun.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
i'm not sure if it was an evening appt...?
next, yes, the hot water with lemon is just like drinking kombucha and it helps move things along.
i tend to have GI issues at certain times during the month....hormones def affect my GI system too.
perhaps you can find something to help you bc of the iron pills...perhaps taking the probiotics or something.
if i were in your place, maybe google what people do who take iron pills to combat GI issues...you may find some good tips!
Logging in from work, because I do not see that I will have time to log in later.
Had an awesome leg workout yesterday! Still not quite seeing the results I think I should be seeing, though. Finished up the branched chain amino acids and will not reorder them. As I mentioned when I started my "Advocare" experiment last year, I wanted to see if I could find Advocare supplement products for cheaper (i.e. same stuff, but different brand) and have results. I wanted to prove to myself that one does not need to spend a $$$ fortune on Advocare stuff in order to successfully lose weight. I have proved that to myself. Unfortunately, now the next new thing in MLM is "Thrive" products. I'll pass. I really hate gimmicks like that.
I"m still struggling with fatigue. It's a very odd feeling - I'm not tired, like I didn't get enough sleep. And it's not the muscle achy that I get after weight training - it's not that. It's almost like a tired feeling from not eating enough, but I *AM* eating enough -- in fact, I'm finding myself not really hungry, but eating because it's time to eat and because I like to eat.
I am scheduled to be scoped in April. The GI doctor said she is concerned about elevated lipids in my liver, i.e. signs of fatty liver. She wants more blood work. I looked at my test results and I didn't see anything that indicated there was a problem there. I sent my test results to my mom, who is a retired nurse, to look at the blood work. Doing a little Google research (for what it's worth), I'm already doing the right things to fight against fatty liver, although I suppose I could cut back MORE on red meat. But cutting back on red meat won't help my anemia.
Tonight is no weights, so I will be spending some time with my daughter on her night off, which isn't very often I get the chance to do something like that with her.
EDIT: Queen Bee, who made a HUGE deal about going on Weight Watches - on and on, blah blah blah - has been seen eating shamrock sugar cookies at work and ordering French fries and cheese curds at Culvers for lunch.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
now that you've stopped the Aminos, i have started, though i just realized i forgot to take them on the regular while i'm working out as of late! oops! i did it more for the taste, though...and for something else besides water and setlzer. not sure i'll continue either, but i did buy a lot...they don't all taste that great i have noticed!
i am also struggling with fatigue though i am starting to actually feel better now that the week is done tomorrow :) i tried pretty hard to get to bed earlier the past couple nights and it has helped immensely. i think i've also begun to get used to the time change. i also think my own fatigue was due to hormones / TOM.
so Queen Bee will soon find another diet to start & never finish! LOL.
better QB do this than either of us! yuck...no need to lose all the weight just to gain it back, just horrible.
I was watching her today (her back was to me) and I was trying to decide if she has lost any weight. I could not tell yet.
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How was your Sunday? Your April goals are awesome - especially the work-related goal of leaving at 5:30 or earlier each day. You work so much. I often feel bad if I leave early or take extra time off work, but we need to ask ourselves what our priority is. Do we really want to remember this time in our lives as the time where all we did was work, or worry about work? It's so hard to find that balance!
I hope your son is doing well - did you hear from him?
Sunday was pretty calm but good. Perfect for going into a stressful week. The important thing that we voted early in our local election.
Did not hear from our son.
horn_of_plenty on 04/01/2019:
Happy April! I think the weather dept is fooling us today in NYC with 37F for a high!
Lately the "busy bug" has napped me too...I think my entries might start to get weird on here and also when i respond. Feeling the trip coming as well as typical long weeks mostly until then LOL. wah wah (as you say!)
New opportunities do abound with Spring in Store!
I do think it's nice to do errands with someone sometimes! I have done it, not that often but i used to with a good friend and also here and there with guys but not often as i don't really "date" and it's fun to do things with someone else bouncing ideas and just breaking the monotony of being alone! it's nice.
yes, def read the book to see if it's worthy as a gift to your son and also so you can chat with him about it when he's done! :)
Remember to reach out to your son when you can. Don't guess how he's doing...keep in touch, write letters, send your supportive words along as often as possible encouraging him to keep his head up, act maturely, be responsible for what he says, be professional, and also to be proud of himself, how far he's come, how he'll keep producing success as long as he keeps trying and keeps his head up and studies? just, keep him focusued but also write about some fun things, a joke here or there...things to keep him happy and down to earth i guess!
horn_of_plenty on 04/01/2019:
Keep on with those weights, good lady! ....i'm so happy where i'm at with weights. strongest i have been in MANY MONTHS! i am back to where i was before Winter.