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Donkey - Thursday May 20, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

I did not like skipping my lunch hour so that I could leave at 4pm for my 2nd COVID vaccine shot - definitely not ideal; I need that break.  Hopefully there isn't too much of a mess from missing an hour of work.  You'd be surprised how quickly things can just explode in the real estate world.

My arm felt sore on the drive home, but then that went away.  However, I woke up to a sore arm this morning.  At least I was able to sleep well.  I think it was lights out around 9:15pm.  Maybe a little later because Daughter had just come home and wanted to visit a little bit, which was nice.  I woke up before my alarm but stayed in bed, dozing in and out.  I can't say I feel well-rested, but I notice I'm not dead-tired either, so this is good. This bedtime goal seems to be working for me.

I'm hoping today is the last heavy day for TOM, so that I can have my energy levels back up.  Sorry to rant about this, but it's so draining, even with the iron pills.

No new drama at work, but just more of the same.  The next 2 days are insanely busy with time-sensitive tasks.  Male Co-Worker got bit in the butt again, trying to take a short cut, based on the direction from the Boss -- even though the title company had EXPLICIT directions on how to prepare the deed.  Boss said certain wording wasn't needed, and Male Co-Worker trusted his opinion/memory.... Guess what happened at the closing?  The wording was wrong, so Male Co-Worker had to do a new deed.  There ya go - that's where we're at.  So Male Co-Worker is somewhat in denial too. 

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/20/2021:
regarding below, your boss wouldn't be the first person to die at the job....ugh, crazy to say, but happens ALL THE TIME (strokes, heart attacks, all that.)

glad you are not insanely tired, maybe later you will feel it. keep us updated on your progress after the 2nd shot.

yeah, it is not ideal to have to rush, i do not like it either - and not have a lunch break, etc.

i KNOW you will be able to catch up with the work. it's an hour missed, hardly like a day's off or vacation! (i'm emphasizing not to regret missing an hour work).

sorry your TOM is bothering you. I'm glad i mentioned it here in my entry because i looked back and for some reason i realize i was "off" totally in my thoughts of when i should get it...for some reason, this month is HORRIBLE with leg thigh cramps mid-month...going on already a week. ah well...usually it's just before TOM, but this time, it's half a month before...i'm thinking it can even be an effect of the 2nd shot dose...

yeah....always add the wording in right!? always have proof. ha! sorry the deed thing didn't work out with the short cut...and example of a short cut being more like a LONG cut. hopefully it's a lesson learned...but since your boss is "ancient," he apparently doesn't use his "lessons learned" for any progress.

Jacky82020 on 05/20/2021:
Hey, no drama sounds like a big improvement! Yay!

Donkey - Wednesday May 19, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

Oh my....   

Struggled with carbs at dinner last night.  Daughter brought home some pastries to try.  Then I had a few small cubes of cornbread.

It's a good thing that I'm incorporating weight training in the mornings because I'm finding that I can't always get it done in the evenings.  Last night, as I was getting ready for my evening bike ride, I realized that this data tracker thing I wear was missing.  I clip it on my pocket with a strong magnetic clip.  This is like the 3rd time I've lost it, because the magnet is so strong that sometimes it sticks to other metal objects I may encounter (chair, car, filing cabinet, etc.). 

  • I promised St. Anthony that if he helped me find the tracker this time, I would change the way I wear it, so I have the option of a lanyard around the neck or a wristband on the wrist that doesn't have my Fitbit on it.

I knew this would bother me if I couldn't find it.  It wasn't in the house.  It wasn't in the car.  I remember fiddling with it in the afternoon at work, when I was in the Boss' office talking about deeds.  So, in order to sleep better last night - I drove back to work (which broke my heart to do) to look for the tracker.  Fortunately, I found it quite quickly, but I couldn't help myself but to check my emails while I was there.  I have yet another new contract waiting for me this morning... *SIGH* 

But I was so happy that I found the tracker that I had a hard time falling asleep, when I finally got back home.  My routine was delayed, so I turned off the light at 9:24pm, and tossed and turned for a while.  TOM and cramps didn't help with that at all, even though I took pain meds before lying down.   

Woke up to more cramps and a heavy day.  Great.  Then I realized that today is my 2nd COVID shot   So as if TOM isn't hard enough to get through, physically, I may also have to manage any side effects from the shot (e.g. more fatigue).  However, because I had side effects after my 1st shot, I'm thinking (hoping) that the 2nd shot won't be so bad for me.

It was a relief to have Mistakes Girl back, but she was so busy catching up with New Guy's files that she did not have much time to devote to opening up new contracts or title work.  New Guy comes back today.  Ridiculous. Hopefully he can take care of his own damn files now.  I kept wanting to help her out and open up contracts, but I just never got to it.  Between phone calls, emails, new contracts coming in (that I prep in hopes of reducing mistakes), correcting Queen Bee's mistakes.....  I just never got to it.

Male Co-Worker was boasting in the morning that his files had slowed down a bit, so he had time to relax (and talk with the Boss, which has become one of his job responsibilities, apparently -- waste time talking to the Boss).  In the afternoon, though, he was threatening to retire, last day being Friday -- all in jest, but that's how it goes.  It's not really "slow" -- just the calm before the storm... or better yet, the eye of the hurricane. 

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 05/19/2021:
Glad you found the tracker. I wear mine in an ankle pouch.

The job sounds so stressful,

Dang! And the second vaccine on top of everything else, you poor kid.

Donkey on 05/20/2021:
At the end of the workweek, I can look back and breathe with relief that I made through a really tough week. No shot side-effects so far other than a sore arm. Kind of like last time...

horn_of_plenty on 05/19/2021:
i could totally see you with the mascara at least and neutral face...not the eyeliner too...not everyday, that is too heavy a look.

will write much more later.

horn_of_plenty on 05/19/2021:
oh, i remember that my new coworkers also pray to St Anthony when they want to find things!!! why again is it to St Anthony???

also, like you, i'm only NOW (this year!) finding that i really prefer weights in the AM. Now that my upper body routine is short, doing it in AM is possible...and that's why it prob took me to now to realize i need to do it in the AMs as it's become an annoying hassle after work with this new job. It could also be that my commute is it's longest ever (not much longer than the other job in the city i had for almost 2.5 years before covid), but i guess every minute matters. Also, i like to walk on my commute home & the walking made me too tired to also do weights after that! so, the AM weights routine seems just "right." I guess that's how you feel too.

yesterday, there was a zoom meeting that i normally do not like to attend for a club in the union. however, it was easy to attend (i took the video portion off and cuddled with my guinea pig for the length of the meeting - like an hour) and wasn't angry for once to have to attend - bc my workout was done in the AM.

seems doing the workouts in the AM makes for a much more relaxing / enjoyable evening. food for thought.

like, if i even were to be in a relationship, evenings would be open and not be spent lifting weights - that's a good thing...

lol, i cannot believe you went back to work AND CHECKED YOUR EMAILS! lady!? but i'm glad you got the step tracker.

some women say they might have had heavier periods around the time of the shot. well, i can say my thigh cramps are bad this time around during PMS. hopefully i get it tonight or it's going to conflict with next week's GYN! those GYN appts are hard to sometimes plan in advance.

male coworker is OLD. i have a feeling he will retire soon. though, in my business (electrical union), members usually know they will retire - and put in for it over a year before. therefore, it's pretty planned, everyone is aware ahead of time...

Donkey on 05/20/2021:
Alls I know is that St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost things. At this very moment, I don't remember the story of how he became the saint of these things, but there you go. St. Anthony is one of my favorite saints. He's helped me find quite a few things that were truly lost.

I just couldn't resist checking my emails..... It's just like that...

I think once the Boss goes, Male Co-Worker will retire, presuming Nice Guy is up and running. The thing is, I don't think the Boss will ever leave. He'll die at his desk, or something...

Donkey - Tuesday May 18, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

In sync with Legcramps, I didn't think it could get worse than last Friday, but I think yesterday was the ver worst I've had in a long time that didn't involve a client blow-up.  Queen Bee constantly interrupting me.  Nice Lady into EVERYTHING, getting completely on my nerves.  The Boss said to me that he honestly had no idea how bad of a day I was having.  Well, sure you don't because you've been out at ONE closing for over 3 hours!  The man cares more about lunch than his practice!  Finding mistakes in both attorneys, and then I started making mistakes -- which was my cue to wrap it up and go home (on time).  I couldn't believe it was 4:21pm when I looked at the clock.  

Mistakes Girl comes back today and New Guy comes back tomorrow, and then hopefully we can start getting back to somewhat of a routine.  My biggest fear right now is that Mistakes Girl is going to realize that she came back to work too soon, OR that this isn't really what she wants to be spending her time with, and end up leaving us anyway.

It was lights out last night at 9:08pm.    I did not get a chance to read, because by the time everything was done, I had 8 minutes left.  So I scrolled through my Twitter feed and called it a night.  It was not as good of a sleep as Sunday night.  I woke up when Husband came to bed and realized I had cramps.  The cramps would have woken me up eventually anyway, so it's just as well.  Took some pain meds and went back to bed, but felt like I was having problems falling back asleep again.  Part of that was that Daughter had just come  home from work and was making little noises in the kitchen.  (My house echos something awful.)  However, I do remember dreaming, and then being glad that I dreamed, because that meant I had fallen asleep (finally).  I woke up right before my alarm went off, but lazed about for another 10 minutes.

Cut my cardio short by 10 minutes and did chest and tricep weights.  I can feel it in my chest/arms while I type here :-)  I hope to do more chest/tricepts tonight. However I realize that this may interfere with my "9pm Bedtime" goal --- which I think is more important right now, at least as long as work continues to be as stressful as it has been.  Weights, bedtime, bike ride -- none of that will work if I have to stay late at work tonight, so I'm going to be pretty firm about not staying late today.

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 05/18/2021:
You’re very dedicated on your workouts!

That job sounds so stressful. Walmart? But would you take a big pay cut? Sometimes peace of mind is better than $$$$. All depends.

Donkey on 05/19/2021:
It would be $3/hr cut in pay to start, but with Walmart, is get raises, and insurance would be cheaper. So I would kind of break even.

Having written this just now, and thinking about previous conversations here, I realize that it's no longer a question of IF but rather just WHEN.

horn_of_plenty on 05/18/2021:
i also do not wear eye makeup for same reasons - sensitive eyes prone to styes and senstiive skin...write more later.

Donkey on 05/19/2021:
I'd love to be that person who wears black eyeliner and mascara in an otherwise neutral face, but sadly, it's not meant to be.

bearcountrygg on 05/18/2021:
That sure sound stressful!

Donkey on 05/19/2021:
As I mentioned to Mistakes Girl yesterday, the firm is a great place to come to forget your own problems, because you quickly get swallowed into the drama of the files (not to mending fellow coworkers).

Jacky82020 on 05/19/2021:
Sounds like a plan, Donkey! I’d give Walmart a go myself.

horn_of_plenty on 05/19/2021:
i could totally see you with the mascara at least and neutral face...

Donkey - Monday May 17, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

Good Monday morning!  I just had a most fantastic realization:  LAST DAY WITH QUEEN BEE FOR A WHILE!!!  LOL, well, we have to find our joys where we can, right?

I went to the gym with my husband yesterday and had a great workout!  My husband and I really just do our own things, since we're at completely different levels of functioning and fitness.  But how nice it was to have someone there, to check in on, who checked in on me...  Because I had more time, and wasn't trying to avoid anyone there this time, I was able to get in a complete upper body workout. 

Inspired by Happy, I've set myself a goal of lights out by 9pm every night this week.  Last night, it was lights out at 9:13p, as I got caught up on my phone.  I watch make-up videos to help me relax, zone out...  but I can waste so much time just doing this.  So I forced myself to turn off the phone, turn out the light.  It took me a little while to fall asleep, but not too long.  I woke up feeling so refreshed this morning.

So I'm going to keep trying to meet this goal.  I'm going to need this if work continues to be as stressful as it has been.

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/17/2021:
Great way to wake up...Happy to hear that you and hubby got to go to the gym together.

Donkey on 05/18/2021:
It WAS nice :-) This Saturday, we're going on a hike together, weather permitting, with the Disabled Veterans group.

innerpeace on 05/17/2021:
I too...shall try this early bedtime!

Donkey on 05/18/2021:
I hope you find it beneficial. Last night was night #2 for me and it's been a total game-changer.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/17/2021:
glad to hear you will work without QB distraction or derailments for awhile! :)

cool! i had no idea you watch those makeup tutorials! you must know a lot of secrets! ever try them out on yourself!? i'd love to see you show up to work with fancier eyes, etc...but not overboard, of course!

speaking of lights out, i snacked and was going to study, but the truth is i need that 9pm lights out too...so, goondight!

Donkey on 05/18/2021:
I don't wear much eye make-up because my eyes are overly sensitive to most all products, and I wear contacts. So rubbing eyes with make-up on doesn't really work.

I much prefer face powder and lipstick, but haven't worn these for months because of the face mask. I'm ok with that.

Right now, my main focus for me is skin care. But it's still fun to watch people transform themselves.

Donkey - Sunday May 16, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

Good Sunday morning!  It's already starting off to be kind of an "odd feeling" day but I'm going to get the most out of today and relax & enjoy as much as I can.  I was feeling little twangs of anxiety and dread about having to go back to work tomorrow.  Ugh...

I "slept in" again through 6:15am but stayed in bed for about 1.25 hours more, stretching, relaxing dosing on and off, planning the day.  I've got a good start to the day, with riding my bike, cleaning cat boxes, making a batch of gluten-free brownies for the family, flling my birdbaths - it's DRY here! - and  about to start load #2 of kitty laundry.  

I did not pick up my library book yesterday, so I will do that on my way to or back from the gym today.  I also have my laundry to fold & put away.  My plan is to work on laundry after I log off from here, hit the library and gym in the early afternoon, after daughter leaves for work.  Come home and relax.  Sit with my cats, start the new book, perhaps nap.  Defintely recharging this afternoon.

Daughter and I went to the farmstand yesterday, and I picked up some CBD oil to see if it can help with anxiety at work and/or perhaps as a sleep aid at night.  Took some this morning, to see how it affects me.

Long story short, I pushed myself to go to the gym last night.  I'm glad that I did, but it turned out not to be a good outing.  First, I guess I had eaten more at dinner than I thought, because I felt dinner sitting too heavily during weights.  (Funny it didn't feel heavy during the cardio beforehand.)  Then, as I was approaching the weight machines area, I saw the handyman that works for my Boss.  REALLY????  Ugh... I'm sure he saw me, even though I was wearing a mask and looking away from him, except for the short glances to figure out where he was.  Just as I was leaving the gym, he's walking towards the locker rooms, so I just looked down as I was walking by, keeping to myself.  (I do this sometimes, anyway,  when I just want to be alone in my thoughts.)  UGH....

But now back to today - I'm looking forward to just doing my own thing, and I won't think back and I won't look too far forward.

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 05/16/2021:
Good you got some extra rest this morning. I did too.

Donkey on 05/16/2021:
Oh yes, it was wonderful!

Jacky82020 on 05/16/2021:
I have a friend in California who is crazy about CBD products and all kinds of edibles. She spends hundreds getting them delivered to her house. Way too rich for my blood!

What’s so bad about seeing the handyman at the gym? Bet he probably didn’t notice anyways.

Donkey on 05/16/2021:
I've tried CBD oil before, for anxiety, and I think it helped a bit. When I ran out, I didn't buy more because it is expensive, and I wasn't too sure about the legit potency of the product. I'm kind of at the point of desperation but don't want a prescription.

Donkey on 05/16/2021:
The handyman is kind of an odd fellow, in that quiet, serial-killer sort of way...

bearcountrygg on 05/16/2021:
You are getting a lot done....That must make t=you feel good.

Donkey on 05/16/2021:
It does! I didn't write about this, but I've made some amazing progress with my cat-in-the-library puzzle too! You may recall that all the pieces that are left are black, and I got like 10 pieces today, and like 5 yesterday! I figure I have about 75 pieces left.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/16/2021:
i also enjoyed being home most of this weekend! what a joy!

i would take male-coworker's thoughts with a grain of salt. he is much older than you. he can retire. you cannot. i think if anyone were to remain at your company until the end, it would be you.

i see no issue with you going home for lunch - maybe just do it SOME days and not all. try to strive for a balance.

i also have enjoyed sleeping in this weekend, nothing early to wake up for. kinda liked it that way for this weekend.

didn't you used to take CBD oil also?

lol, so you didn't want to see the handyman. well, looks like you avoided contact :) haha. all good, donks.

Donkey on 05/16/2021:
I don't anticipate being at the end of the firm unless the end comes soon. This is the longest job I've ever stayed at. This is my 9th year here.

Right, I would not go home every day, just 1-2. This week, I plan to go shopping at least 1 day, maybe 2, if it rains.

It was a good weekend.

horn_of_plenty on 05/17/2021:
9 years is GREAT! kudos to you. myself, i'd recommend to stay as long as possible and to work on your life balance as well as possible. it's better than walmart salary, right?!, so stick around...but maybe keep your eyes open or begin applying elsewhere in a year or so?

Donkey on 05/17/2021:
Walmart has potential for raises. I probably won't get another raise at this job. Plus, Walmart has insurance and 401k - my current job has neither.

horn_of_plenty on 05/17/2021:
you have a lot of experience and that should totally help you in getting another job. you def have the benefit of experience and many places will not hire a new paralegal with none...so you do have that. (but i know job hunting is so tough, oh i know!) just saying you have the experience factor working in your favor completely..and you are also not "old." 50's i think people look at you and say you are experienced & that age i find to look seasoned in a good way.

Donkey - Saturday May 15, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

I replied to comments on yesterday's entries - thank you!

Good morning!  Oh how nice it is to be at HOME!!!!  I'm loggin in late today, because I've already been very productive here at home:

  • Slept in a little later - ahhhh, so nice!
  • Longer morning bike ride on my indoor recumbent -- broke it up in 4 sessions. Also very nice!
  • Filled my birdfeeders
  • Cleaned cat boxes
  • Mopped main floor & basement floor
  • Had breakfast

I'll get started on my laundry soon.  I'm not sure if I will sign up for today's virtual museum tour.  It's the Art Institute of Chicago - which I think I'd really enjoy - but I also want to visit a farmstand in a nearby town AND I want to go to the gym.  The farmstand is open only 11a-4p. However, I might be able to get Husband to come with me to the farmstand, and it would be nice to spend some time with him.

I also have to stop by the library sometime this weekend to pick up a book I requested through the inter-library loan network.  If I don't pick it up in time, they send the book back and charge me a small fee.  If weather permits, I may work on picking up fallen branches in the backyard, cutting them up, for pick-up on Tuesday, for the lawn waste pick-up.

I know it may seem counter-productive to talk about work on my day off, BUT a couple of things that happened that I want to write about, because it's really about the work-life balance and emotional processing.

  • Rather than taking my lunch-time walk yesterday, I drove away to get gas for my car.  I mostly did this, because we were expecting 2 people to come in to have documents notarized, and frankly, I just didn't want that extra work.  I had 2 choices:  stay and do the extra work, or leave to take my lunch break.  So I left.
  • After getting gas at my preferred gas station, I decided to stop at home; Husband was having a cat problem, and I didn't want that to wait until I got home.  I think I'm going to start going home for lunch more often.  Unfortunately, it uses more gas in my tank to do this, but I think it might be worth it for my sanity.  When I get home, I get my full hour of time off. Also, with the exercise that I already do, I'm not sure I need another walk every day -- that is to say, maybe "active rest" would do me better.


  • Male Co-Worker told me yesterday that he was taking a lunch with his wife.  I told him, "How nice, why don't you make it a long one?" since the Boss was out.  He said he might.  Then he confessed to me that it was the first time EVER at this job (and he's worked at the firm for 17 years) that he didn't want to come to work.  The feeling really startled him, because when he feels this, it usually signals the end  of that job for him - either that day, or a near inevitability.  WOW.  WOW.  At least I know that I'm not the only one thinking and feeling the way I have been recently.


  • Secretly, I've told myself that I'm just waiting for Mistakes Girl to come back so that I can quit.  This thought has popped up a few times this week.  It would never play out like that, of course, but the feeling is there, REALLY there.

Anyway, I know this: 

  • I'm not alone -- it's not just me that is seeing these things at work and feeling objectionable about it.
  • The work-life balance is essential, and what has worked before is not working now.  

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/15/2021:
You had a great start to your day! It's too bad that your work place is deteriorating so quickly......The boss surely can make or break a company. If there isn't a good flow between employees is also makes it harder....I have to wonder how long they will be open......

Donkey on 05/16/2021:
I think the remainder of this year AND the month of January 2022 will determine a lot. I say January, because that's when the Boss and his wife go down to Florida for the whole month. (They've done this for YEARS, except this year, because of COVID.) This time, he is taking the longest time off at 6-weeks.

Donkey - Friday May 14, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

I responded to yesterday's comments.  Thank you!

Slept too well -- very hard to get up, so I got a very late start to my day.  Just wanted to record here that there is no more Daughter's birthday cake left.  So that war is over.  I lost.  (Ha ha ha...)

After eating the cake last night, I kind of wimped out on my 2nd leg workout. 

I dunno, it was like the whole brunt of this work drama caught up with me last night and I fell apart.

And even though we are extremely short-staffed, the Boss is leaving at around 10am? to leave for a 5 hour drive downstate Illinois to attend a distant family relation's graduation on Saturday.  So now we will be so short-staffed that everything is just going to wait or be extended until next week.  It just gets to a point where there is nothing I can do until we have more help.

I mentioned the Boss' trip to Husband last night, and his response was, "The Boss just doesn't care any more."  So why should I? 

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2021:
Sounds like the boss has had it....not a good sign from someone who is supposed to be running the place. You probably won't have to deal with him much longer....but who will take his place? Apparently the boss is the owner?

Donkey on 05/15/2021:
The Boss is the owner. We're a small firm. As long as he's alive, the Boss will be the owner, putting up a show that he's "working" when what he's really doing is just talking, reading the paper, talking on the phone, maybe write a couple of letters.

They're trying to get the New Guy up to speed, so that he can manage most of the Boss' files. He's got a ways to go, though.

Jacky82020 on 05/14/2021:
Just do what you have to and don’t get stressed out and work harder on behalf of others not carrying their fair load.

Are you still considering the other job? Wasn’t it Walmart?

Donkey on 05/15/2021:
Yes, still strongly considering Walmart. In fact, I can no longer vent to Husband, because the only response I get is, "WALMART!" However, I know that Walmart isn't a nirvana either.

I actually did take this advice yesterday. The new contracts just kept coming in! I think I ended up with 7 of them. I opened up the 2 purchases, and left all of the sales files for Queen Bee to open up on Monday (if she comes in).

horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2021:
so, male coworker is another legal assistant in addition to you?

Donkey on 05/15/2021:
Yes - sort of. I'm the only one that has a paralegal certificate. Male Co-Worker, Nice Lady, and Mistakes Girl are all "legal assistants". The Boss is our HR person (ha ha ha ha ha ha -- he NEVER manages anything. Doesn't want to face any conflict or bad things).

Associate Attorney and New Guy are attorneys, but sometimes they have to manage their own files if the legal assistant/paralegal is out.

horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2021:
that is good that the boss wants his firm to continue...basically it means your job will continue....

why will associate attorney be fired possibly?

and new guy, so young, i doubt he could run the company / keep it above water without learning more first. I'd say he needs a couple years...at least you may have a job for a longer period than i thought then....you could maybe change in your role a bit also, sort of be an office manager and train a paralegal in the future, just saying...you could be a big asset to the continuation of the firm.

Donkey on 05/15/2021:
Because he's a complete disappointment. 7 years later and he still can't handle anything too complicated and relies on the decision-making of the Boss. That's not what we need. We need someone who leads and can make these difficult decisions. If the Boss is gone or incapacitated, Associate Attorney would not be able to handle the real problems.

The Boss wants someone who can make decisions when the tough ones need to be made, "if I were in the hospital or something"....

Maria7 on 05/14/2021:
Hope you are having a nice day.

Donkey on 05/15/2021:
Maria - I gotta tell you. It was a really rough day. I wasn't the only one having a rough day, so there was some small comfort in that.

And it felt really good to come home and know that I had 2 days' respite from all of that. I'll write a little more about that in today's entry.

Jacky82020 on 05/15/2021:
Well, if you left for Walmart & didn’t like it, could you return? Or take a similar job at another firm?

Donkey on 05/15/2021:
What I think I could do, if Walmart didn't work out, is offer to come back like Queen Bee does - when they're short staffed or very busy. So maybe, but it would be in a different capacity. It could very well be likely that I might not be able to come back.

Also, I have some issues that make work against me as far as employability, so... leaving ANY job is a huge risk.

Donkey on 05/15/2021:
What I think I could do, if Walmart didn't work out, is offer to come back like Queen Bee does - when they're short staffed or very busy. So maybe, but it would be in a different capacity. It could very well be likely that I might not be able to come back.

Also, I have some issues that make work against me as far as employability, so... leaving ANY job is a huge risk.

Jacky82020 on 05/15/2021:
Hmm.... Big decision. But my guess is they’d welcome back a competent employee such as yourself.

Donkey - Thursday May 13, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

Still struggling with after-dinner eating.  Oh that last piece of cake was calling to me STRONG... but I was stronger.  Instead, I had a dessert/snack that was about 250 calories (I counted) and that was that.  That was much better than diving into the last of the cake --- it's a BIG piece.

We're getting through work...  Today is a Queen Bee day, which I actually appreciate because she DOES help answer the phones.  However, her lack of knowledge on how to do ANYTHING else than what she used to do is just jaw-dropping.  I stayed an hour late to do open a new file, which in theory, she should be able to do, but doesn't know how to...  I got overtime AND the file was opened correctly.  My Daughter wasn't home for dinner, and Husband wasn't feeling well and wanted to take a nap -- so no family pressure to be home early for dinner.  None tonight either, since tonight is "Boyfriend Night" for Daughter. 

I just need to not get involved with QB any more than I have to.  She's so loud and obnoxious... and she's a backstabber too.  Just gotta get through it.

I just realized that Male Co-Worker had a birthday yesterday, and NOBODY said anything about it at work.  (This is how he prefers it, I'm 100% sure.)  We are an aging firm:

  • Nice Lady - 73 yrs old
  • Boss - 72 yrs old in October
  • Male Co-Worker - 67 yrs old
  • Associate Attorney - 56 yrs old
  • Me - 51 yrs old in July
  • Queen Bee - I think she turns 50 this year.
  • New Guy - 29 or 30 I think?
  • Mistakes Girl - turned 28 this year 

I asked Male Co-Worker why he hasn't retired, and he said he can't stand the thought of being home all the time.  I said, I don't see you being home.  I see you volunteering, doing community theater, traveling, grandkids, etc.  His wife, who was forceably retired when COVID hit,  is a serious germaphobe, and with COVID, won't/can't do anything.  So he'll be with the firm for another 3 years at least, if his health can bear the stress.


My yoga teacher just proposed that perhaps we resume yoga in June.  I'm going to give that a serious consideration, in spite of the benefits I'm getting from yoga.

Also, I've thought about changing up my weight training routine.  I still want Saturday to be upper body and Sunday to be lower body at the gym, Monday to be a rest day (yoga), as well as Friday.   So that would leave Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, where I could focus more on certain body parts, rather than just upper or lower.

For example, Tuesday might become back & bicept day, rather than upper.  Wednesday could be leg day.  Thursday might become chest & tricepts.  I might try this in June, or maybe the last week of May after Mistakes Girl comes back.


Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/13/2021:
You have quite the age range at work...looks like a few will be retiring in the near future......maybe Mistakes Girl is the youngest there...that may be why they give her so much slack.....she has some learning to do.

Donkey on 05/14/2021:
Frankly, I don't think her age is an excuse for the number of mistakes that she's making.

Maria7 on 05/13/2021:
Looks like you are managing quite nicely at work...happy for you. I know it can be tough at times but you persevere. I remember the days...was quite tough for me at times, also, when I was still working. You do have quite a few of retirement age working with you. But, maybe they love working and will be able to continue for a good while longer. Lots of people do, as they are happier working or their finances require they do to maintain their standard of living they are accustomed to. You are very knowledgeable at your job. Valuable employee! Hope you are having a good evening.

horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2021:
i am behind on your entries, but what do you mean when you say everyone is streaming things at work? on the work computer?

personally, i do not think people can check what you do all day on a work computer unless it's emails sent, but, i will still use the ipad when it comes to do some of my personal internet stuff instead of all on the work laptop...as i write this at work on the laptop to you ha!

Donkey on 05/14/2021:
I stream news on my work computer throughout the entire day. CBSN has news all day long. I was streaming the Chauvin trial on Court TV through Plutotv.com on my work computer.

Male Co-Worker has an Alexa but also uses his work computer.

Mistakes Girl streams through her phone.

Nice Lady streams through her phone and sometimes her computer, depending on what she's listening too. Cubs baseball games during the summer.

horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2021:
In regards to your entry yesterday, you are young in comparison to your boss...just make sure you are thinking about what will happen in the next couple years as your boss gets even older...that and then just riding our your job.

hey, it sounds ok to me that the boss is giving some of the "work that you see as potentially yours" to someone else as a way of divvying it up? ...that would sound good to me.

yes, i do not think it would be bc he is firing you.

same as my job, where my boss isn't good at delegating work and i'm left with no work bc he is keeping it all himself to do (very un-managerial style!)

Donkey on 05/14/2021:
We have a major problem with how work is divvied up at between us legal assistants. It's been the topic of conversation at work, but Boss won't do anything about it. He's an awful manager.

Believe me, and especially with the Boss' recent demonstration of declining mental ability, I *HAVE* been thinking about my work situation in the next year or so.

horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2021:
i didn't even read this entry today from you - and now i see you listing the ages. yes, you've got an even older base at your place than i do at mine (50-60yrs is prob the most common age at my place).

i've been struggling lately with after dinner/very large dinners. at first, i was enjoying it. but i seem to have now approached binge-mode. it may be because i am not eating enough earlier in the day, except, it's also because i think dinner isn't planned out and i keep reaching for extras after.

so my goal / your goal may be / is to plan your after-dinner treats and not leave it totally up to chance. anyways, i will need to do this with my dinners as it finally got out of control with me last night as i kept reaching for more and the calories became excessive.

in terms of your 67-yr old male coworker, that's an age where anything can arise in these years. my dad is 68 and i cannot even imagine him still having to work past when he retired this past october. at that age, people start to become totally incapable (not all, some) of continuing to work....due to health, etc.

who is going to buy the firm? who will lead it after the owner cannot?

Donkey on 05/14/2021:
YES, I will do this - I will plan my after-dinner treats and STICK to it.

The law firm is owned by a corporation that will be owned by the Boss' daughter once he dies or gives it up. She is not a lawyer (she is the physical therapist who works on the 1st floor), so she can't own the law firm by law. But as the owner of the corporation, she can hire/fire/reorganize the firm as she sees fit. I'm told that one of the first things she will do is fire Associate Attorney.

I think the plan is for New Guy to purchase the firm or perhaps the corporation will hold onto it until one of the grandkids is old enough, if they decide to be lawyers. The Boss does want the firm to continue onward after he dies as his legacy.

Donkey - Wednesday May 12, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

I continue to make gains (?) in my weight training goals.  I am actually starting to really like weight training!  I'd like to see more definition in my arms and back, but in order to do that, I have to lose some of the fat I'm carrying around. 

After last night's weight training and bike session, I had a few sips of protein shake. I was going to have graham cracker(s) too, but then I realized I wasn't really hungry, I just wanted a reward.  I made sure that I had enough protein at dinner, and I did.

My work situation will improve soon.  Mistakes Girl is supposed to be coming back to work next week, Tuesday, and that will help a lot.  I realized this morning that in spite of being really stressful with all of these absences, we've done a really good job of taking care of things.

One thing that I'm noticing at work -- for several weeks months now - is that I'm being bypassed at work, for tasks.  I'm not sure if it's because people think I'm so busy, or if it's something personal or what, but the Boss usually goes to Mistakes Girls to ask her to do extra tasks.  And Male Co-Worker is handling the New Guy's files while he's gone.  I find it incredibly odd that I wouldn't be tasked with his files, since I work on purchases.  Yesterday, Male Co-Worker said, "I guess I'm learning how to do your job" and I guess he's right. 

I should take an example from Queen Bee and not do anything more than is necessary, and yes, I am quite busy enough with what I have.  I have no fear of getting fired - that's not really something my Boss does - but it is a little unnerving to see that I'm no longer the "go to" person.

Yesterday we were confronted with a mistake on a deed we prepared several months ago, which we will need to correct and pay $$ to be re-recorded.  After talking it out, we discovered that the problem came with the file was initially opened with Mistakes Girl.  My Boss' response?  "If that's the worst mistake we make, then we're doing pretty good."  WHAT????  I kid you not.

I also caught my Boss making some more cognitive errors yesterday.  One might catch up with him when the file closes in a week or 2.  The other one wasn't bad, but if you, as a tax return preparer and tax wiz, can't interpret a W2 form correctly, then maybe it's time to re-evaluate things. 

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/12/2021:
Mistakes will happen for sure.....The boss does sound like his age/or health is catching up with him. I'm sure they feel that you are plenty busy so may be trying to ease your work load where they can. It really doesn't hurt if more than one person can do any or all jobs....that gives you some back up if needed. But...I also get that it is a little unsettling that that guy said he was he was learning to do your job...they may suspect that you are considering leaving them...hopefully all in all it will come together in a way that makes the office run smoother.

Donkey on 05/13/2021:
Everyone except New Guy attorney and Mistakes Girl are much older than I am. I will write about this today. It'll be fun :-)

Jacky82020 on 05/12/2021:
How old is this boss? Is he getting ready to retire? Or cut back?

Donkey on 05/13/2021:
Boss is going to be 72 this year. We always thought he'd die at his desk when he's 90, but since he's had a heart attack 2 years ago... I'd say that was a turning point in his health.

innerpeace on 05/12/2021:
I once thought I wanted to be the go to person...but I change my mind after our conference a few weeks ago. No thank you! I have enough to do as it is.

Donkey on 05/13/2021:
You are SO right! Now I'm sitting here, saying to myself, What have I been thinking?

happy-1 on 05/13/2021:
If the pay is the same whether you are the go to person or not... "Not" is better.

happy-1 on 05/13/2021:
If the pay is the same whether you are the go to person or not... "Not" is better.

Donkey - Tuesday May 11, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

Well.....  my little May experiment of not weighing in isn't going to work if I keep having nights like last night.  The problem was - as it usually is - that I didn't get enough protein.  Take that and mix it in with an extremely stressful day at work, and my stamina to "stay strong" just faded away with the sunlight... To summarize:  half of a protein shake, many sugar free licorice twists, and then a big ol' piece of Daughter's birthday cake in the freezer.  NOT GOOD.

The stress was from work.  Queen Bee did not show up today - just "couldn't make it" - and the phones were crazy and the new contracts were many.  I stayed about an hour late, so that I could start today in a better place.  I was so busy that I did not get to take my walk at lunchtime -- that's right, I basically worked through lunch, ate at my desk.  NOT GOOD.

I've come to the realization that it's not just me, but my Boss is truly sliding into a mental decline.  Nice Lady brought it up, Male Co-Worker finally agreed with me that it's getting in the way of doing efficient and correct work.  And in the legal profession, doing "correct" work is really important!  NOT GOOD!

I am starting to have concerns about Male Co-Worker too.  I'm not sure he's reading all of his emails, or the ones I forward to him.  Maybe it's just "email overload", which it definitely well could be.  Yesterday he missed an email that came in at 8am, which affected a sale closing yesterday, that will affect my purchase closing today.  My Boss got REALLY lucky that the title company saved his butt -- and that was only because they were running behind and didn't send out the wire transfer of funds.  So now this morning, the funds will go to the RIGHT place and we can close on the purchase.  Sending money to the wrong place --- THIS IS NOT GOOD, in case you didn't know that.

If this keeps up, I do not see myself working here for much more than another year.  I don't want to work for New Guy -- I just don't like the way he works.  I cannot work for Associate Attorney - at least not while Nice Lady is alive, because she is his everything and he is hers.


I cut my morning bike ride, so I'm really short on steps -- didn't even make the 10,000 mark.  BUT I had a really good upper body weight-training session.  I can make up the steps today or tonigh, and I will do other upper-body weights tonight -- mainly chest presses and back exercises.

Work should be better, too, because it's not a busy Monday, and we'll have extra help with the phones (Queen Bee is coming in today - she'd better!).  

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 05/11/2021:
Sugar free licorice treats may be increasing your hunger and sabotaging food choices… affects brain chem and hormones.

Donkey on 05/12/2021:
I think you're right. I really should toss what's left.

horn_of_plenty on 05/11/2021:
Happy is right...maybe have the sf with some real sugar. i have to do this...almost always when i have no sugar things, i have some sugar along with them.

Donkey on 05/12/2021:
Well, I did -- unfortunately, the real sugar was a big piece of cake!

I think it was just an overwhelming day that I could not cope with. There's that too.

horn_of_plenty on 05/11/2021:
but i'm more satisfied bc i'm having more food - like a seltzer with stevia AND some fruit...is a bigger portion than just a seltzer or just fruit.

horn_of_plenty on 05/11/2021:
i didn't mean to be satisfied at your weight forever (regarding your comments back to me yesterday. i mean being comfortable for a little while, before delving back into weightloss...).

you may have went to the cake bc you really wanted some sugar - both your brain and body. so, next time, have something WITH sugar to complement the licorice and protein shake. like a fruit. or a granola bar. or a cookie or two. i find a little sugar relaxes my body and mind, especially in the evening.

maybe new attorney and you will get better at possibly working together...it's always hard to learn to work with someone new...honestly, YOU are probably the MOST reliable person in terms of keeping up on emails - because you are organized. (like me, we are organized).

you do a FANTASTIC job on getting in steps. i'm so glad that i do some steps on my commute. otherwise, if i drove, i'd get no steps ever (unless i added in all my cardio).

i was able to take a walk at lunch bc i have literally hardly any work this afternoon...so weird.

seems my boss is catching up on his work and doesn't want me to help him?

i am not worried about being fired, i heard my boss literally practically snoring...he had fallen asleep before...so i think he's just catching up.

i wish he'd ask my help for something, but i am honestly not going to ask him as he seems not to be able to give me work as he's just doing his work....and i don't find him so organized to give me work as he organizes his own...

Donkey on 05/12/2021:
Well, I've been at 145 for a little over a year. I put these 10 pounds on last April during the COVID shut-down.

The way the workload is structured, I don't really work with New Guy. I would never work closely with him, because I don't speak Spanish, and his assistant needs to be able to communicate with his Spanish-speaking clients as well as his English-speaking clients.

I'm thinking of - one day - telling Associate Attorney to call me when Nice Lady can no longer work for him. Ugh...

I've had similar things happening to me at work. I'm not worried about getting fired either, but I will write more about this in my own entry.

Jacky82020 on 05/12/2021:
Sounds like an unbearably stressful work situation. Hope the situation improves. You deserve a huge raise for running that place.

Donkey on 05/12/2021:
Thank you! I just realized this morning that we've done a pretty good job of getting through this mess.

Jacky82020 on 05/12/2021:

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