A new work week - and we'll see how it goes with Queen Bee! I have to keep reminding myself that I'm coming home early today. And I have to be sure that I do leave work when I say I'm going to leave. I tend to try to get more things done, and before you know it, an hour has gone by.
Had a good workout at the gym yesterday. Did upper body weights. Someone was messing with the TV's though, so that we could all watch the Masters golf tournament -- which I was intentionally boycotting watching - and so I ended up watching some kind of documentary from the Brigham Young University TV channel about how God led the people featured on the show to reunite with long-lost family members. Nope. Not going there. No thank you.
Food continues to be a struggle. I know I do too much cardio. I would be better served doing a little less cardio --- I mean, I really do TOO MUCH of it -- so that I can eat less, and then more weight training. Or rather, weight training more often.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
Yesterday kind of dissolved into a diet-disaster, although, mentally, it was a good day for me.
I was disappointed in the Zoom tour. It was not a tour of the museum, it was a powerpoint webinar about African Americans in aviation. So my expectations were not met -- which is OK. I learned another lesson about how to set my expectations. AND it was an interesting presentation, once I realized what it was going to be. I felt that the presenter was not fully prepared in her presentation, and that it was a more "free style" discussion of her chosen topic. Also, I just felt an overwhelming sadness, thinking about the Chauvin trial, Black Lives Matter --- IDK. Let's just say that this hour was not what I thought it was going to be. This bothered me for most of the remainder of the day. In fact, I'm still kind of bothered by this.
I'm looking forward to next week's tour of the Garfield Park Conservatory. I do much better with plants.
After the Zoom tour was done, Husband said that our Son would be calling soon. So that meant I would not be able to go to the gym. His family calls usually take at least an hour - and I'm so glad that he does call. It's so good to hear from him. I have to say this to you, friends -- my son is kind of stressing me out with his plans for his vacation leave this summer. He wants us to take a week to go back out to Montana. I don't know if I can do that. He's talking about August, and that's right before Mistakes Girl has her baby. And it's also our busiest time in the office. Finally all that I can think about is getting through this next week with Queen Bee -- I can't be thinking about August.
So the call kind of stressed me out.
I decided then, after the call, that I would go to the gym after dinner, which would have worked well, because we all wanted an early dinner. Fine, except that after dinner, I did not want to go to the gym. Nobody wanted to go with me. It was getting dark. My car was all cozy in the garage. And I had laundry to fold and a new episode of my British mystery TV show ("Death in Paradise").
I have decided now to start this week anew. No more of this indulgent eating, except for tomorrow, when we'll have cake to celebrate Daughter's birthday.
Also, the next time I feel the urgent, uncontrollable need to break the 11th Commandment at work, I must do these things:
Let's see if this can help.
To Do Today:
SO HAPPY I AM LEAVING WORK EARLY TOMORROW
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
Hope you can schedule the family vacation when it’s good for everyone.
Unfamiliar with that British series. Watching the crime documentary miniseries on the murder of Michael Jordan’s father. Didn’t know anything about it. Ok, but going way off topic & slowing down.
IDK - doing some real soul searching as to why this disappointment bothered me so much, other than taking up my time.
I wanted to mention, if you didn't look yet, at your bar graph weight chart. you are doing so well, lowest weight in months. you've almost lost 5 lbs. so, the work you are doing has actually gotten you success! so now is not the time to give up!
LOL. well, that IS unfortunate that the webinar was nothing you had planned it to be. I can TOTALLY understand your disappointment and it lasting as you had set aside your time for something you planned for and they semi-fell through. at least you learned something, but i totally understand! i'd def be feeling the same way.
Regarding the webinar - it just feels as though every hour of my time on the weekends is precious, and so this seemed like "wasted time". Thank you for understanding.
i'm glad you will enjoy cake tomorrow for your daughter's bday. remember there's no concrete bad/good and it's the serving size that really counts.
rooting for you!
Forgive me, DD-ers, for I have sinned. Yesterday, I broke the 11th Commandment ("Thou shall not eat the Boss' food at work"). I caved and had a very heavy chocolate chip scone. I just couldn't cope with the work stress AND food stress yesterday. I did pretty good the rest of the week, but yesterday, I just broke down.
Not a commandment, but then I also indulged in some cookie desserts after dinner last night. I completely knew that I was eating because I was tired/exhausted - both physically and mentally - but that didn't stop me from having a few extra cookies.
I was ready for a very high weigh-in today, but much to my surprise, the scale had not moved. OK, I'll take that. Is that a sign that I've been forgiven? Well, one thing for sure, I had a very good morning bike ride on my recumbent bike this morning. Lots of energy!
It's cool, cloudy, and rainy today and I LOVE IT. This is why I know, in my heart, that I could never be completely happy if I moved to Vegas to be closer (physically) to my mother. I need the cooler weather, the wet weather. I don't think I could be happy in a desert. Anyway...
So while the weather means that the gym will be busier, because all those "outdoor" people will come inside to workout, that's OK. In fact, I'm thinking about going tonight, when it's emptier, even if this pushes me out of my routine and comfort zone. I'll see if Daughter and/or Husband wants to go with me. But they don't have to - I'll be happy just going alone too.
I have a virtual, Zoom tour of the DuSable museum this afternoon 1pm-2pm. I'm really looking forward to that. Afterwards, if I want to go to the gym then, that's OK, I'll do that. However, I have a bit of deep cleaning to do today (and tomorrow?) in order to prepare for guests on Monday night, that will come over to celebrate my Daughter's birthday. And I'm OK with doing the cleaning - the physical work is welcomed until I get tired, and then I can take a break.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
I work at the office, so I don't have stress-decompressing tools available to me other than walking away from my computer, which then means I'll be farther behind in work.
I'll write more about all of this today - thank you for inspiring my diary entry for today! :-)
i totally relate to the feeling of eating bc i am tired / exhausted. as of recently, when i really feel totally wiped, i will consider eating, but then skipping exercise so that i can just go to bed after eating, and not need to eat more during/after my workout. i'm just writing this saying i can relate. you've known me long enough to know i've dealt with some crazy overeating due to stress. I think the anxiety medicine i'm on has helped...actually, i should just say i KNOW that its helped. how couldn't it!?
you have such nice things in store....the online tour sounds great and so does going to the gym either just yourself or with family.
Very short on time this morning. The Boss left at 4:20pm yesterday and minutes later, 2 of my files closing today blew up. The one I rescued, the other it will depend on whether or not the buyer wants to close today. She's so picky and yet very ignorant, so we'll see. Once again, I needed an attorney, New Guy was the only one around, and this was way over his head. "I'll have to ask the Boss." Well, DUH!!! I need help NOW. **I** can ask the Boss tomorrow. Of course I didn't say that. I'm just frustrated with his inexperience and lack of knowledge that comes from that inexperience. I'm also noticing a lack of self-confidence in him.
The thing is, we're promoting his services when he doesn't know what to do when it gets complicated. Does he know what he's doing?
My lower body leg workout last night was pathetic. Just did 2 exercises, 4 sets of 15 reps. Could say that I didn't have it in me, but this was a motivational issue 100% and not a physical limitation. Not exhaustion, just laziness.
I did find myself doing some deep breathing and arm stretching yesterday. Not exactly a timeout though. It was a little better, but the thing is to STEP AWAY from the desk, the computer, and the phone. I think I will keep working on this.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
Initially, the idea was that Associate Attorney would be the future and "buy out" the firm from the Boss, when the Boss was ready to retire. However, over the past 5-6 years, Associate Attorney has clearly demonstrated his LACK of ability to lead. He's a follower, not a leader - and that's fine, but not someone that you want to sell the firm to.
I'm not sure I can picture myself working for only him though. That's a completely different question.
Oh. My. Word. Let me tell you, if yesterday was any indication of it's like to be short-staffed, next week is going to be VERY difficult. Mistakes Girl left at 11am, so that she and her husband could take care of something in downtown Chicago. This was unexpected, as she forgot to schedule her time off on the calendar, but I didn't think it'd be a big deal. But that phone would just not stop ringing yesterday, and Mistakes Girl is the first line of defense against phone calls (i.e. receptionist).
And I'm so frustrated with my Boss. He keeps trying to put work off that he needs to do - as an attorney - on to others. When I corrected him on this, he told me that I needed to give him a break. Well, you're the attorney!!! Do your job!!! Or don't take on these types of clients, if you can't or won't do the work!!!
Some of these aggravations are because of his personality, but recently, I've noticed a LOT of behaviors that I'm afraid are because of his age and/or his health. This worries me, saddens me, frustrates me.... So add all this extra stress to an already stressful workplace and there you go.
Thank you for letting me vent this all out here.
I mentioned to Maria, in her comment to me yesterday, that I need to start taking timeouts at work and just focus on breathing and calming down. I think this would help me greatly.
I think I need to start doing mini yoga sessions on a regular basis. There are lots of 15 minute yoga videos on YouTube. Something like that.
I just need to grasp at anything that will bring down my stress levels without costing me a million calories!!!
Yesterday, I realized I was out of high-fiber wraps, so I couldn't have my peanut butter wrap for breakfast. Had oatmeal instead, and believe it or not, it actually held me quite well. I'm wondering if I should go back to that (175 calories) rather than my wraps (260 calories). But then I realized that Husband bought me more wraps and these are smaller in size, so now the peanut butter wraps will be 235 calories. Hmm.... Something to think about changing up, I think.
I'm sorry, I'm kind of all over the place with today's entry, with my thoughts and such, and now I'm out of time so I have to end it here, now.... Except to say that tonight is lower body weight training and I'm REALLY looking forward to THAT!!!
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
Sounds like your job can be highly stressful. HUGS
your boss is EXACTLY like my boss. my boss as well puts off priorities and they become very late! ha! then again, i do not know exactly what type of work my boss does, as i do what could have been his work...believe it or not, i do not exactly know what work my boss does! i couldn't explain it in depth! i know he is involved in writing contracts, but, let me tell you - there's a LOT i do not know!
Yesterday was a mixed bag, but ended on a good note, and that's what counts, right?
Work is still stressful, and I think that a lot of this stress is just from it being the "busy season". It just seems as though each file has a sour client, a title problem, an impossible deadline, etc. At least I know it's not just me feeling this stress.
Came home and had somewhat of a contenuous dinner - let's just say a loud dinner conversation over something really stupid. This upset my daughter and she left to go back to work in a foul mood. I texted her later asking her not to be mad at her dad (Mr. Donkey), because it's just negative energy that goes to no good. I was over it, and determined to have a good evening, so she didn't need to be upset for me. IDK if it worked.
I had a GREAT upper body weight training session last night at home. A perfect ending to a not-so-great day.
Working on stress levels today, trying to keep it positive. My mantra: STAY COOL.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
This is a habit I want to establish. I just keep forgetting! It's too easy to get caught up in all the distractions at work. Constant interruptions.
Breathing might be my key to get through this tough patch.
I almost logged in here yesterday, from work, at 10:41am, to let you know that I had already been screamed at, hung up on, barraged with phone calls... Seriously, I felt literally, physically shocked - like someone had put my finger in an electrical outlet. However, I made myself some camomile tea instead and just sat back for a few minutes. This didn't quite "restore" me, but it did help put me back on an even track to proceed forward with my day. All I could think of is that I'm so glad that my husband is no longer a 911 dispatcher, because I know that every day he worked felt like that and worse.
My anxiety was not relieved though when I:
I felt myself dreading the time obligation of yoga class, but as soon as I hit the mat, I felt instant relaxation.
However, I must admit that I had too much dessert last night. This happened for 2 reasons:
So I will do better tonight. Please allow me to clarify that I did not feel that this was a binge or a food fit. Just had an extra piece of cinnamon cake (1 inch x 1 inch pieces), for about 370 calories.
Weatherwise, it will be another beautiful day. I will enjoy my lunchtime walk and all that it has to offer.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
Ok, whatever QB... (lol)
at least if you leave early a bit next week, your time with Queen B will be limited. just keep your distance, right?
and even if you are vaccinated by the party, keep your mask on.
glad you enjoyed the yoga afterall!
The stress is one thing, but the negativity just kills a little bit of me each time.
I woke up this morning and had trouble remembering if it was Sunday - where I could just go back to sleep - or Monday, when I had to actually get up. I had to actually get up.
I'm already feeling anxiety and tension about work. The Boss will be back, so that means a whole bunch of meaningless chatter, which is distracting to hear, and sad to watch.
Next Monday and/or Tuesday, I'm leaving work at 2pm, so that I can be home. I just need a little time away.
Tonight is yoga. I will cancel next week's yoga because it's on Daughter's birthday, and if we have company, I don't want to be chasing them away because I have to set up for yoga at 7pm.
Wish me luck.... I do not want to go to work today.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
Happy Easter to those who celebrate!
Today is a beautiful day! The weather outside is already pleasant! I can't imagine how lovely it will be in the afternoon. A little warmer and I can open up the windows, air out the house, cats will be happy to sit by the screens. Gym will be empty (lol)...
I really enjoyed the virtual tour of the aquarium yesterday! It was kind of an inconvenient time, but I am SO GLAD that I made time for it. I have signed up for the next museum on 4/10 at 1p-2p.
Had a really good upper body workout at the gym yesterday, and today is leg day. I think I am starting to SEE changes in my arms, but then again, a lot of times, my eyes play tricks on me, with regards to body size/image.
I've got a few temptations around the house to struggle with. I made a gluten free cinnamon coffee cake, and it's delicious! I'm hoping that others will eat most of it. Also, my kids' birthdays are this month, and my mother sent my daughter 2 huge boxes of gormet cookies. Next week is an actual birthday, with cake and some kind of dinner. The Boyfriend is coming over for dinner. Oh my... I can't think this far ahead.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
anyways, back to Happier events: HAPPY EASTER!
Today was quite warm just for the sunny part of the afternoon and I, too, was able to open the windows. first time basically in awhile.
those zooms are ALWAYS inconvenient! haha. it's the same as doing actual activities outside the house...for us introverts, even getting ready for a zoom sometimes feels like a chore to me, but then once i'm engaged i love it.
1-2pm for next week sounds nice, you can have a bit to eat or drink while you watch, or just relax after lunch.
aww, so nice the boyfriend and your daughter are having a nice relationship and he's coming back over <3 sweet.
This current boyfriend is a nice guy, but I get the feeling that she's more invested in the relationship than he is. Oh well, they are just living life and enjoying it in the "now" :-)
Happy Saturday! It is a beautiful sunny morning, and right now it's a little chilly, but it wil warm up nicely to mid 60's today. I am trying hard not to get overwhelmed with all that I need and want to do today. I keep gently reminding myself to let the day play out as it will - that, AND I also have all day tomorrow, which promises to be an even warmer day! No need to let negative feelings ruin 2 free and beautiful days!
The weigh-in was a little disappointing today.
I had hoped to leave work early yesterday, for Good Friday. It was a very quiet afternoon until 3:54pm when Associate Attorney FINALLY returned to the office. Then the phones exploded. I needed a time-sensitive letter from him - that I'd been waiting 2 days for - but then he took a phone call (which he really shouldn't have, but that's Mistakes Girl for you), so that very important letter went out at 5pm.
I also had the unfortunate task of emailing a client to let him know that if he didn't follow through with his sales contract, the buyers would be filing a lawsuit next Friday. So now he's stuck with that over the weekend, until he can call the office and speak to the Boss (who I suspect will come in late).
I had to take a file away from New Guy, because he didn't know how to write the letter I wanted him to write. So now it's back with the Boss for Monday, when I can explain that New Guy couldn't write what I needed. Not ready for it, I guess. New Guy said to me that he wanted to ask Associate a question, which means that New Guy didn't know how to write the request. So that's fine. I feel that it's important to recognize people's current limitations and not push too hard when you're not ready.
Far too stressful for a Friday before a holiday weekend.
I plan to go to the gym. Mop floors. Do laundry. Move patio chairs from storage to deck. Uproot bird feeder hanger shepard's hook and re-establis at different location (hard to do). Possibly go with husband to town about an hour away to look at a camera set being sold on Facebook Marketplace. (REALLY don't want to do THAT.)
Oh my goodness - I already forgot about my virtual tour of the Shedd Aquarium at 3pm!!!! So this will be a big chunk of my afternoon take away -- but it is something that I do want to see.
New season of TV show starts tonight, but if I'm at the gym, then I will have to watch the rerun tomorrow at noon, which is not ideal, because that's when I chat with daughter before she goes to work. I could possibly catch it again Thursday.
Ugh, too much to think about.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
In the past, when I worked for a litigation law firm, I would take Good Friday off.
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Yeah, totally stick with the goal to leave on time, it will put your mind at peace! so many times i had a goal to leave and didn't...i felt awful that i didn't leave bc it's one of the special times when you are entitled! take it!
lol sorry you didn't have anything you prefer on tv at the gym! i totally understand, when i used to go to one gym, before i forced myself to get into the habit of wearing headphones, i'd ask them to change the radio station! i was in my late 20's at this point. haha. even early 30's i did it...then i switched to headphones LOL.
i get you with the food. when i really overdo cardio, it becomes hard to control the ccalories as well, but also, eating / habits are a mental thing and it's hard to break habits. remember how far you came. you don't need to follow those habits of now going up in weight, you've lost 4lbs at least....
i will say tho, that part of my weight loss may be to changes in doseage of the anxiety meds. the higher the dose, the easier it becomes for me to control my weight, or, it could ALSO be that i've learned more about how to control my eating. but, i'd give the meds a little thanks either way.
I don't think I realized you were still taking meds for anxiety. With some people, they do help with weight-loss. I've never had that side-effect with the few anti-anxiety meds I've been on. I love to eat - and I love to eat a LOT.