Snowing and cold here today. I had a protein packed breakfast, so I'm full, but I just came in from shoveling, and I want to eat, even though I know I'm not hungry. I'm going to try to wait until after my noon show to have a later lunch.
Our daughter has to work this afternoon, so it's just me and Mr. Donkey for Superbowl dinner. Neither one of us has much invested in either team, though. Usually I buy a bunch of finger foods, and we have an hors d'ouevers menu for dinner. But with son and daughter gone, I thought we'd have a treat of pizza for dinner, with tortilla & raw vegetables to go with guacamole, hummus, and fres salsa (more like a pico de gallo if you ask me).
A month ago, I dyed my hair a dark brown, and as the color was starting to fade, I went with "soft black" this weekend. While not a complete disaster, I do not like it as much as much. The brown has warm undertones which suit my skintone better than the cool undertones of the black, which make me look wane and washed out (read: old & tired). Maybe I'll get used to it, but if not, I'm not too worried as it will wash out in about 4-6 weeks.
My boss comes back to work at the end of the week. Not really looking forward to his return. He will want to talk about his fabulous vacation and what he missed here at the office, and I'd rather just be left alone to do my work, since I can't trust anyone with anything that is said any more. Also, Superbowl weekend kicks off the real estate season (believe it or not), and even with the cold and snow, things will start to get busier, unfortunately.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
Right where I belong at 128.5, and it's been a productive week as far as goals and putting things into their proper perspective.
I adjusted my "goal weight" on my FitBit tracker to a maintenance mode of 125. I started the year at 128.5 and seem to be maintaining that number plus or minus (mostly plus) 2 pounds. That's maintenance. I haven't changed my goal weight here, though, because I do want to see the progress that I made this time around in losing (the same) weight.
Also, I'm playing with the idea of limiting my steps/activity from week to week. One week, I will aim to have a step goal of 15,000 steps a day, and then the next week, lower the goal to 10,000. That will serve 2 purposes:
Had a revelation from one of my comments earlier this week: the scale does not always reward healthy choices. The scale(s) really messed with my mind this week. I had that big sweet potato for lunch (a healthy choice but lots of carbs), but the scale showed I lost 2 pounds, and yet, the body fat scale said that I GAINED 1% body fat. WHAT???? So what does that mean?:
This is just crazy.
PS BEST ACCOMPLISHMENT THIS WEEK: Loads of work drama, and I pretty much stayed out of it. YES!
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
Thank you all for your kind words of sympathy and support 
Today was a hungry day. I hate it when it's like that. To self-critique, I probably ate too many carbs, including a large sweet potato for lunch, a 100 calorie bag of popcorn (thanks, Maria7!), 2 slices of (diet) bread, and a Fiber One cinnamon "cake" cube thing.
I switched things up this week, because I ran out of almond milk, so instead of having oatmeal with walnuts in the morning, I'm having toast with organic peanut butter.
Hoping for a better weigh-in this week. I took Horn's self-discipline attitude regarding her workouts, and decided that if I want the numbers to go the way I want them to go, I will need to be self-discipled about it, and deny some things that I would indulge in. Then today happened, LOL.
PS Threw out the rest of the cake this morning.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
i sometimes eat a massive banana and tell myself the potassium and all outweighs the sugar crash i tend to get...lol.
and your note on self discipline - i am getting weaker each time i am at the gym - i can tell bc i am going down in the weights i use. my current fitness plan didn't include bicep curls and i tried them last night and cringed at how difficult they were getting for me! so i am adding them back into my routine despite my fitness plan not including them...
also, in order for me to get better at this very hard fitness plan - just like you are doing with i think eating or weight - i realize it needs to be a 3x a week venture, not 2x. so, despite my desire to not go on friday nights or sunday nights, i'll be including those nights for awhile since that's the best way right now for me to get in 3x a week sessions....i'm doing the uncomfortable to make improvements. if i stick to 2x a week or just don't think about a plan, i see myself not improving much...so cheers to making a commitment and plan to make things happen.
and things DO HAPPEN if you work at it. people at my new job...they have asked if i go to gym and ask what i do. they think i'm so fit...little do they know i've been working at it (mostly on but sometimes i've had to take off bc injuries as you are aware) but i've been working at this goal - the weights - for YEARS. little do they know, i started weights around 22yrs old. now i'm 35. that's 13 years, mostly on a regular schedule - but the results you couldn't really see the first several years...maybe until i turned 30! so, we must learn to always appreciate the PROCESS it takes, not the result.
for me, appreciating the process means struggling right now at the gym with the new routine bc i have confidence deep down that i'm going to improve. right now, i can quit bc i am so terrible at the exercises, but i'd rather just keep on...and keep in my mind that with 3x a week of practice, i may just be able to improve enough to be a court officer...right now it's downright scary...but i'd rather be excited to try out the process..which is why i am continuing.
I confess that I was doing some research into older entries (from random public members -- I've communicated to you about doing this), and I came across your entries when you were talking about running 6-7 miles. And then some of your entries while you were recovering, and now of course, where you are now.
I'm going to give some thought to what you said about enjoying the process.
A couple of things...
#1 - My step-father passed away yesterday morning. May God bless him. When he was initially diagnosed with liver cancer, the doctor said that with the course of treatment he chose, he would have about 7 years, and sure enough, he had passed 6.5 years right before the holidays so almost 7 years. It was an empty, gray, cold day, with not much purpose. I felt like a zombie for most of the day, but tried to be active here and there. (This is where my FitBit was helpful, because it helped me stay on track to be active enough.) The memorial will be in 2 weeks.
#2 - Because Papa passed away, we were able to get a message to my son via the Red Cross, which got my son a 15 minute phone call home. He called Mr. Donkey, which is fine because I was at work and I know my husband has been so worried about him. I write letters almost every day, so I feel connected to my son, but my husband hasn't written - not his thing, I guess - so he's been left to stew in his anxiety. Thank you, Red Cross.
Now we have his graduation date, so we're making plans to go down to Texas to see him graduate from basic training in March. That is something to look forward to. Even though it will be a financial strain, I wouldn't miss this.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
I'm so glad your husband spoke with your son - this must have you feeling way better. <3
Well, I suck.
I went off the deep end last night. I can't recall if I was truly hungry, but I was having a yearning to eat. The problem started with having a late lunch on the road, coming home from the band competition. So I was hungry at around 7pm but nobody else was. Also, I was missing my son something terrible. We haven't heard from him yet. We thought he'd be able to call home on Friday, but here we are on Sunday and no phone call. I hope he's not mad at us. And I hope he's OK.
So I was missing my son, and I am tired of having his good-bye cake staring me in the face at the dinner table every night this past week, so I had a slice of the cake. And then another. And some of his favorite Oreo cookie ice cream. After that, I wanted a proper dinner though, so I had an Italian beef sandwich (with cheese - which I never do). But then I wanted dessert, so I had more Oreo ice cream, with whipped cream and sprinkles.
After that, I was full. Way full, but not painfully full.
I'm not so upset with myself for eating so much, as I believe that it's probably a good thing to have a day where I eat more, to keep the metabolism jumping and guessing. And Saturdays are my "relax" day as far as eating is concerned. As I was eating the cake and ice cream, I was reconciling with myself that I was truly saying good-bye to my son. Not that we won't see him again, but that the boy that left this week is gone. He will come back a man, and everything has changed forever.
What I *AM* upset about, though, is that I am not happy with the numbers on the scale and yet I go and do this. Now where is the logic in that....
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
You are absolutely right...your son will come home a man and you will really enjoy the changes. I'm sure he is just fine, he's learning a lot of new things right now and they want his full attention...but it's hard on parents for sure.
Please focus on you a little more - the trip I'd have a hard time also - burning a lot of calories being out and on the trip and walking around and socializing. - maybe next time seriously bring a snack for if you get hungry ?
But please concentrate on you now - do something for you and try to get back to your routine ....
I def see where you are coming from with our son and I am very sure it's difficult but instead of being so sad - try to connect his training and being away with being happy ....for him
I do think of him every morning as I struggle to get out of bed early so that I can workout. I know he has to be up at 4:45a. I struggle at 5:30a! And I get to sit on my bike, watch TV, and have a cup of coffee! -- Not exactly an accurate connection :-)
Gained 2.5 pounds. Not happy.
Taking a road trip today to see my daughter perform with the high school band at the state competition later this morning. It is sure to delight!
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
Went back to work, although I was still feeling like a Zombie... My heart wasn't really in it, which REALLY helped me keep a PROPER and HEALTHY distance from my involvement in the files. Also, not having my heart into my work helped me appreciate what my co-worker did while I was away, as she covered my emails.
It was so dead last week, but the 2 days I was out, it was like crazy-busy, and everyone wanted everything NOW. Seriously, people -- it's real estate. It's not a trial, where your personal freedom is at stake. It's not surgery where your health/life is at stake. I felt so bad for my co-worker, even though she was one of the backstabbers in December. So a couple of things I said to her, that I think helped:
This is awful to say, but it seems that in order to keep my sanity, I have to be less invested in producing a better work product. Otherwise, I get so uptight, upset, and stressed, so that while it's done correctly, I'm a mess and nobody likes me. That sucks.
Anyway, trying to be more intuitive at dinner. Must work on eating slower, I think. I think that will help me eat less. Trying to stay away from the leftover chocolate cake. I didn't do so well yesterday. Had 3 small slivers after dinner, even though I wrote about the cake here in DD right before dinner. Tonight, made myself a cup of decaf. That will hold me.
Goals Progress: I bought my next color for my hair. January was "dark brown", and the next box is "soft black". Still sticking to a dress pallet of navy, black, and gray -- makes getting dressed in the morning SO much quicker and easier. Keeping up with my daily Gratitude diary.
But I need to add a temporary goal for the end of this month and February, to stay at 128-ish and not let the stress and sadness overcome me and creep back into the 130s.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
I know exactly how you feel... but a company rarely has more than one badly done deal/project in them. The second one kills it.
Do you ever read fail blogs?
Today was the Big Good-Bye... to my son. I know he'll have a tough 6 weeks ahead of him. The house seems so empty without him...
So YES, I did take care of myself today, and did not go into work, even though I could have gone in for half a day. Instead, I let myself just relax and settle into the quietness of the day. My husband took a long nap; my daughter had to work. So I watched TV, did some crosswords, rode my stationary bike...
Last night, I did resist the leftover chocolate cake and Oreo ice cream we had from Sunday's dinner, but I did not do so well with dinner itself, eating too much spaghetti with meat sauce. I curbed my desire for dessert with a cup of decaf coffee with flavored creamer.
A couple of folks here have talked about looking forward to gummy vitamin supplements as a "treat" -- oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one!!! In the morning, after I exercise, I have 2 gummies for hair/skin/nails. At night, I take 2 fruit-flavored Tums (for calcium) and 2 melatonin gummies. Sometimes I REALLY look forward to these "treats". I also take glucosamine tablets, one in the morning and one at night, but those are swallowed whole, so that's not a treat. I thought the glucosamine would help with my knee/back/hips, but I can't say that I've noticed much improvement or change.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
anyways, i'm sure his training will be very tough, he must keep his head up especially at beginning where it's more a mental game.
Very hard...
Overindulged with a good-bye dinner on Saturday at the restaurant. Had a mint fudge sundae for dessert, too. Then last night, made a cake and had ice cream, too.
Now I find out that we're going out to breakfast before we take our son to the recruiter's office... which I agree with, so that we're not worrying about lunch during all of this.
I've got some things going on hormonally -- cycle is way off, skin is breaking out. Probably stress... Just have to get through this day, this week...
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
i'm sure you are very stressed about your son leaving for training. remember you need to take care of YOU....i think what might have been doing on is your wanting to take good care of your son and you stopped thinking about you...also, if you are indulging in cakes, maybe next time do not make cake? unless your family really wants it...lol...
I seem to be stuck at this number...
This is the last weekend with our son before he leaves for boot camp. Monday is the day we take him. Tuesday he departs.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
maybe once your son is gone you can go lower. how tall are you?
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No superbowl for us this year....if they can't stand for the anthem we can't turn on their game....first year in a long time we will miss...but we are fine with it.....e have the major winter here too...and it is actually beautiful...next month that will probably start to change....I love living where there are season changes.
I've come to realize that I would really miss the change in seasons, too, which makes picking out our next destination rather difficult.
Then I look out the window and see a ton of snow, and think, FLORIDA. ;-) (not really)
horn_of_plenty on 02/05/2018:
glad you and Mr. Donkey have some time to unwind tonight.
I'd planned on gym, but ended up being too tired so was left to lay on couch, but didn't turn on the superbowl. was so weird without the gym and plans for last night LOL.
yeah, i think brown on you is also nicer, but black can be a change of pace...your skin isn't as light as mine, thankfully, so i'm sure it looks better than most white women who dye their hair black....your skin has a little olive so that can help.
Definitely not doing the black any more. Just not my thing. So dark brown or going light again...
horn_of_plenty on 02/05/2018:
yes, def better to stay drama free by being quiet at work. that's what i do & it's going to work for me...as it has been as of late...
also, good for you on getting back to the weight you want...scale is only day to day and our bodies naturally aren't going to give you the same read out everyday. ...ok, you know this, keep on doing the good things.
myself - i'm going to also be working on getting back to a healthier routine - especially getting away from some of the carbs - ESPECIALLY with breakfast. i'm going to try to be eating meat (egg/turkey/etc) as my breakfast - and be leaving the peanut butter on bread for awhile, i think, as i feel i need something more filling..
I like to switch it up, but find myself going back to the oatmeal with walnuts... with almond milk if I have it, otherwise, water is fine. I change it up with dark cocoa powder, pumpkin pie spice, or a TBSP of dried cranberries (not that option too often).
horn_of_plenty on 02/05/2018:
oh and i'm glad you had the raw veggies with the dinner treats. i think i might do this tomorrow with the office pizza...perhaps i will have a slice!!!!!! denying myself just hurts me in the end and i'll binge..so i might just take part...learning moderation still myself. :)
Not sure what it was but I woke up with a food hangover this morning...