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Donkey - Friday Apr 02, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 142.5

Thank goodness it's Friday -- and Good Friday too.

I am exhausted this morning, even though I went to bed on time last night.  I'm not sure why.  It's almost to the point of not feeling well enough to go to work, that's how tired I am.

I had a fantastic leg workout last night, but I don't feel any soreness this morning.  Does this mean it didn't do any good?  Tonight is just relaxing cardio - that is to say, an easy bike ride, just to work out the kinks from sitting all day at my desk. 

My husband has been saying lately, "If I feel this good tomorrow, I'm going to the gym."  I've decided that - if I'm up to it myself - the next time he says that at dinnertime, that I say, "Let's go to the gym tonight!" and see what happens.  He and Daughter are probably going today, while I'm at work.  That's fine because I'm pretty sure I won't want to go to night.  If I change my mind, I can always go by myself.

I *do* plan to go to the gym on Saturday and Sunday.  On Saturday, I might have to fiddle with the time I go, because I signed myself up for a virtual tour of the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago.  A group of libraries in Illinois got together to have these virtual tours of museums in Illinois every Saturday afternoon in April.  I plan to attend as many as I can, although they are ALL on Saturday afternoons, when I'd rather be at the gym.  There are some REALLY COOL museums though.  My hope is that perhaps I can go to some of these in person, eventually, in the near future, once I'm vaccinated and COVID numbers come down again.

I will also have to mop at least the basement floor this weekend.  Neverending laundry.  The weather is supposed to warm up a bit.  No plans for Easter. 

Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/02/2021:
Never ending laundry here too. We both like fresh towels and clothes daily....makes a lot of work but it's worth it to me......I love doing laundry anyway....dishes...not so much.

Maria7 on 04/02/2021:
Re: What you said was said: It's always easy to put off working out. I know this is true for myself. There are always reasons to not do it today. Hope you have a good day.

horn_of_plenty on 04/02/2021:
regarding your Wednesday entry, i hope your cramps died down. when i wake up from them, i also take pain meds right away so i can go back to sleep. i had poor sleep last night from going to bed late, will make up on the weekend by getting better sleep! also, nice job on your eating and exercise.

horn_of_plenty on 04/02/2021:
you sound good. i'm lacking on sleep too. grrr.

i hope you male coworker feels better soon!

once you are used to the leg exercise moves, you will generally not be sore after every workout.

i cannot wait to visit a gym again in the future.

Donkey - Thursday Apr 01, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 142.5

I've been staying up too late (10pm) to watch analysis of the Chauvin trial, that I've been watching during the day - as much as work will allow me to watch/listen.  They say that this trial will last about a month.  I cannot go on like this for a month.  Maybe the testamony and evidence will get more boring soon, so that I don't feel this urgent need to process what happened.

Yesterday was my cardio only day.  I did not take a walk at lunchtime because I ran an errand with Husband instead.  (It's something I wanted to do together, not just him alone.)  So it was nice to have a 2nd longer bike ride in the evening. 

Eating went well BUT at one point in the afternoon, I had to recite the 11th Commandment, "Thou shall not eat thy Boss' food" to avoid the gross nut mix thing in the pantry (at work) - I pick out all the nuts, but it's oily and salty and gross.  In case you're interested, the 11th Commandment was recited in Charleton Heston's booming voice, and I halfway expected thunder and lightening to fill the room immediately.  Perhaps a parting of the conference table, in the Lunch Room...

I stayed a little late at work, talking to Male Co-Worker.  He has been experiencing what sounds a lot like the stress and anxiety that I've been suffering, but his manifests itself in his gut, as actual pain.  He's going to try again with a new therapist this afternoon.  (His last therapist lasted a week.)  He says that Xanax helps a little, but I know that is not the path for me at this time.  Perhaps if I was feeling physical pain, I might resort to that.  Right now, all of my symptoms are emotional/mental.

The Boss came in for half a day and now he is out until Monday.  The other 2 attorneys will handle anything urgent.  Everything else that I can't do, will have to wait until Monday.

Tonight is Leg Weight Training at home - yay!!!  I also hope to get in a (longer?) walk at work today at lunchtime.  It would be nice if the weather would warm up just a little bit.  High of 41F today. 



Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 04/01/2021:
I do take a low dose single Xanax nights to help fall asleep. People develop tolerances for them & can pop all day. I don’t know why more physicians don’t prescribe Valium or Ativan which I think don’t have the big drowsiness factor. All 3 addictive meds. But at least zero calories! Would prefer that to alcohol.

Donkey on 04/02/2021:
LOL on the zero calories! You're right, though. Calories is one of the major reasons why I stopped drinking.

I had a small glass of red wine last night, during dinner. Made ordinary leftovers seem a little more special, too.

Maria7 on 04/01/2021:
Hope you have a nice walk at lunchtime! You are doing really well with your progress! Smile!

Donkey on 04/02/2021:
I did not take as long or as nice of a walk as I had hoped. I am hoping to both of those today, even though it won't warm up even to 50F today. Brr!

Jacky82020 on 04/02/2021:
That’s why I quit champagne when we moved to this house in 2011. Since the husband doesn’t drink at all there’s none in the house. Sometimes I think of all those nights watching TV and sipping champagne & eating & miss them, but doing both is not possible for me without gaining too much. So I chose chocolate. And the little nighttime Xanax. Used to take zolpidem. But not effective after years.

Donkey - Wednesday Mar 31, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 142.5

 So I woke up early today, so that I would have time to get stuff done this morning before work, including writing here.  I also need to refill the birdfeeders.  I woke up around 1:20am with cramps, so I got out of bed and took some pain medication, knowing that would help me get back to sleep.  Still, the damage was done - interrupted sleep is NO GOOD.  Might as well get up early then since I would feel tired regardless.

Work was OK yesterday.  Difficult files taking their toll.  My boss was just overwhelmed yesterday.  He wasn't remembering stuff, not following through, and then looked very tired and worn.  He was talkling about coming in today to write a (somewhat) time-sensitive letter, but I hope he doesn't.  The client can't make up his mind if he wants to sell or not, and his realtor - desperate for her commission check - is forcing this down his throat.  Do not think that your real estate agent always has your best interest at heart. 
So he may pop in a little bit.  Male Co-Worker is floating in and out for the rest of the week, too, depending on what his grandchildren are doing for their spring break.  That's not really conducive.  I mean, do we check his emails or not?  Do we tell callers that he'll be in later or not? 

Eating went well yesterday.  I had a very good upper body workout last night, at home, with my bench, bar, dumbbells, etc. - but my Old Kitty was ready to go up to bed for cuddles and sleep, and kept bothering me, getting in the way.  I felt guilty because I love to spend time with her, and I did want to go to bed early.  So I didn't get to do EVERYTHING I wanted - I felt I could have done more.  We did go upstairs at the regular time - maybe just a tad later than usual - and had kitty cuddles, but I stayed up too late on my phone.  Went to sleep at 10pm.  
So we'll see what today is.  I'm having some frozen chili for lunch and I'm looking forward to that!  Tonight is cardio only, and I'm thinking maybe I'll go to the gym and ask Husband if he wants to come with me.  But if he says no, which I'm guessing he will, then I probably will just stay home. Kind of depends on how the day at work goes, I think.
Gosh, I really dislike that my whole  life seems to revolves around my job.

Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/31/2021:
You sound like things are going quite well! Great time for chili...especially while it's still a little cool out.

Jacky82020 on 03/31/2021:
LOLOLOL Real estate agents do not always have your best interests at heart. Everyone I ever met was a greedy bastard except an old retired cop

There’s a spectacular cat hanging around out front. I keep food there for a feral I’ve been working with for over a year. The new cat is either a marble bengal or a marble tabby. Thought bengal until I went online and saw these marble tabbies. Had no idea they got so fancy looking. Wondering if this cat is a stray or has a home nearby. It takes off as I approach. Nothing in local lost & found ads.

I am trying to determine if it’s a bengal, sure an expert could quickly ID but I can’t yet. May try to take a pic through the window & post somewhere

Donkey on 04/01/2021:
In the past, I've fed feral cats that have come around our backyard. I haven't seen any in over a year.

bearcountrygg on 03/31/2021:
I actually found out this morning that we have a mountain lion not far from us.....I have no idea how he could have gotten here....makes the house cats look so tiny!

Jacky82020 on 03/31/2021:
Never heard of any in this area. Many in various parts of California. Never encountered one. Saw a bobcat once. Adorable little guy.

Maria7 on 03/31/2021:
Chili for lunch sounds good. I hope you have a good day. Try not to let yourself stress about anything. It is just NOT worth it. Take care.

Donkey on 04/01/2021:
Oh it was delicious!

You're so right about stress. I had a chat with Male Co-Worker about it yesterday afternoon. Turns out, he's trying to figure out the Work-Life balance too.

Donkey - Tuesday Mar 30, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 142.5

I guess I'm going to have to get up earlier if I want more time to write here in the mornings.  I spent too much time with Baby Kitty this morning.

I had a wonderful yoga session last night.  The instructor took it a little slower because she had hurt her back.  I should tell her that any time she takes to work on the back is fine by me.

Yesterday, we had a moment of a "quiet office" when it was just 3 of us:  Male Co-Worker, Mistakes Girl, and myself.  Everyone else was out of the office.  Quiet, people working, no phones ringing - perfect. 

You know, as I walked up the stairs, to the office, at the beginning of the day, I had this thought of, "I can't believe I'm electing to spend my time today HERE."  It was quite a startling thought. 

I had the opportunity to leave work early, so I did.  I could have left as early as 30  minutes but that ended up being only 10 minutes early, maybe 5, but even that made a HUGE difference.

I am really looking forward to weight training my upper body tonight, at home!


Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/30/2021:
Sounds like a pretty good day....hope today goes as well!

horn_of_plenty on 03/30/2021:
how nice you'll have some quiet days at work that will be more relaxed and give you time to do your work! great!!!

glad you can have peaceful days at work! i do love the quiet days when people aren't in.

Donkey - Monday Mar 29, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 142.5

A quick entry this morning, as I remembered that I should try to get to work a little early to move stuff back into its place.  SO GLAD that both the Boss AND Male Co-Worker are taking Wednesday-Friday OFF.  It will be much quieter at the office with those 2 gone.

Indulged a little last night with a Stroopwaffel cookie after dinner.  Back to more disciplined eating today.

I went to bed at a decent hour last night, but woke up at 2:24a wide awake.  Then there was a small kitty spat (between Boy Kitty and Old Kitty).  Fell back asleep but was dreaming when my alarm went off at 5:15am.  Oh it was SO HARD to get out of bed.

Today is a "rest" day, with only my morning bike ride, and then yoga tonight.   

Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/29/2021:
Enjoy that yoga and rest! Always good!

Bratty kitties,

legcramps on 03/29/2021:
Commenting on your post before this one, about all the people who show up to the gym on a Sunday morning...

I was off on Friday last week, and while my car was getting an oil change done I decided to walk over to the dollar store to browse a little. It's like everyone who did not have to work that day had the same idea; it was 10:00 in the morning. Like, seriously? I was also going to get some groceries at the store next door but declined to go in after looking through the windows and seeing how busy it was. I will no longer complain when I head to the store after work and think I see too many people there. Friday mornings are crazy, apparently LOL.

Have a great day today :)

P.S. I would highly recommend a personal trainer, even for a short-term basis (like 8 weeks). They can not only keep you accountable and motivated, but can help you plan a programme that you'll get real results from.

Maria7 on 03/29/2021:
I know you will feel more relaxed at work Mon-Wed. Smile!

bearcountrygg on 03/29/2021:
How nice to have a quieter office........good opportunity to have a super productive day!!!

Donkey - Sunday Mar 28, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 142.5

Happy Palm Sunday!

It is a late entry this morning, because I have already been to the gym this morning.  Wanted to "get it out of the way" to have the rest of the day free.  Just trying something different for a change, as an experience.  It turns out that on a Sunday morning, a lot of OTHER people want to get the gym out of the way too.  I guess I have to get there MUCH earlier, which I do not think will happen without much forethought.  It would mean not sleeping in on Sundays, but if were to wake up early, naturally, it could be a consideration.  Sometimes that happens.  Anyway, it's something to chew on...

So I had a good workout with the legs, after 17 minutes on the elliptical.  I've been trying to think of my big legs as powerful and muscular, rather than fat or saddlebaggy.  It was nice to see older women there.  One of the reasons the women's locker room was so busy was that there were 3 classes going on there.

I've been thinking that maybe joining a class would be a good thing to try, to get in some HIIT and upper body weights. They have classes that focus on upper body weights, lower body weights, HIIT (High Intensity Inverval Training), but last night, I saw a bulletin board of personal trainers, that I might want to work with on a short-term basis.  I don't know if my schedule would accommodate the classes, since most of them are in the morning, daytime, and early evening.  Well, like I said, something to chew on.  I have this resource; I want to explore getting more out of my gym membership than I'm utilizing right now.

It will be an iteresting eating day, because Husbabnd is on a limited diet today, in preparation for some kind of test for his gut (not a colonoscopy). Rice, eggs, lean protein - that's about it.

It's too bad that it's so windy out today.  The sun is shining, but the wind makes it feel much colder.  Possible to take a walk later this afternoon?  Big maybe, but also a maybe not.  Also, I set up the next puzzle to work out, whose theme is "Cats on a Beach" - kind of cheesy, cartoon-y, but that's OK.  



Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/28/2021:
Have heard nothing but marvelous things about HIIT. Sometimes do a bastardized form on the stationary bike: ride as fast as possible for short bursts

Donkey on 03/29/2021:
I've tried with the treadmill - the idea of it, anyway. Not sure I'm doing it right.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/28/2021:
wow! you had entries all three days and i completely missed commenting on all of them! oops! i'm always worse on the weekends.

my suggestinon re the carpets getting cleaned: get ready for it ahead of time do you do not leave late, put the stuff away the next morning. honestly, try to plan time in so you do it during your work day, because it is actually real work you have to do, at work! part of your work does actually involve administrative / organizing...even if it's not directly related to your clients, it's certainly related to both you and your work atmosphere.

Donkey on 03/29/2021:
That's what I did! I started packing away, taking stuff home, throwing away stuff on Thursday. Started clearing out stuff Friday around 1pm, in small bits, and again at 3pm (to take a break). I was able to leave relatively on time.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/28/2021:
nice job on your weighins, i'd be sad if i had a sick kitty too. part of feeling good is looking at the glass half-full (aside from sick kitty, that is - i'm totally not saying to ignore a sick kitty.!)...it takes work to feel good, how i can relate to that one....

are you able to get your vaccinations? maybe join the class after that?

lucky for me, the owners of my company said they have contacts for me to work with online so that i may get a vaccine soon. even tho NYS is one of the few states that is still not vaccinating any who is over 16 (anyone over 50 i think is the rule? for NYS), i will have a way to get it done early - which i will do, before it does change to a free for all and the lines get crazy long later in the Spring here in NYS....i honestly do not want to spend time vaccinating right now, but, after this class is over, i guess i'll do it then, mid April, unless the place is close by here.

Donkey on 03/29/2021:
Sick Kitty seems to be resolving her problem slowly. At least there's some movement. We will hold off on the vet for today, at least. She does seem to be feeling better, more active, and eating again.

Getting the vaccine first is an EXCELLENT idea! I'm sad to say it didn't even occur to me, but I did have a chance to look into 2 of the classes on Sunday morning. Not at my comfort level yet. I would definitely want to get vaccinated first.

Donkey - Saturday Mar 27, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 142.5

Good morning!  For some reason, I'm not feeling that "Saturday Morning Happy" feeling today.  Logically, I know it's a great start!  The sun is shining (for now - rain expected this afternoon, and that's OK with me!), I'm at home & don't have to go into work, had a successful weigh-in this morning...  But I'm just not feeling that weekend feeling.

Part of it could be that I'm very worried about Baby Kitty (aka Sick Kitty).  She is constipated again, and I'm afraid that she'll have to go back to the vet for enema(s).  In the meantime, we're going to try to help her along with Miralax.  Ugh... KITTY!!!!!

Or perhaps the other part of my non-happy morning is the shocking discovery that we're out of peanut butter!  So I am forced to deviate from my breakfast routine.  I guess that's the only way I would change, is being forced, out of circumstance, to do so.  So I'm having oatmeal with walnuts and cinnamon.  It's only OK, but we'll see how this goes.

But hey, it was a good weigh-in!  I definitely feel less bloated, which is GREAT!  Also, I noticed this week that my legs feel more muscular, especially the hamstrings.  My arms feel muscular, too, but the whole body is covered with too much fat, to actually SEE any muscles popping.

Overall, though, I'm pleased with the changes I've made in the past week, maybe 2.  I'm focusing more on weight-training.  I'm working on stress eating at work, definitely drinking more water these days, and working through desserts in modification.

I finished the sailing ship last night!  I've been working on it - alone - little by little, practically every morning before work and every evening before going upstairs.  I find it to be relaxing.  I will work on setting up a new puzzle to start today.

I plan on going to the gym today and doing upper body weights.  We'll have to see how that goes.  Because the weather is not particularly *beautiful*, there may be more people at the gym, instead.  And then the usualy chores of laundry, fill the birdfeeders...  It seems that I won't have to mop because I mopped Wednesday night, after Baby Kitty had a particularly difficult day with her bladder.  I'm glad I don't have to mop today.

Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/27/2021:
Congrats on the good weigh in!

Sorry about Kitty. How old is she?

Horrors! No PB! I buy the double jar Walmart pack. Love it on English muffins with honey, an occasional nocturnal dessert. Also a necessity for giving the dogs meds.

Donkey on 03/28/2021:
This kitty is the youngest, 2-3 years old. She's had a lot of health issues unfortunately.

Jacky82020 on 03/28/2021:
Poor sweet creature. I have 2 indoor cats and a feral outside that I’ve worked with for 1.5 years. She has 2 heated outdoor houses and after several months has allowed petting. Long story. I would love to take her in, but fear complications on multiple levels.

Donkey - Friday Mar 26, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

A very quick entry this morning.

I had a very good lower body weight training session last night.  I added an extra set on the 2 exercises I usually do, and then did 3 more exercises - 2 of which were completely new to me - after that (3 sets).

Unfortunately, after that, I had a big huge fight with my husband over money which then evolved into gun control, for some reason...  Complete waste of energy.

This weekend, the carpets at work are getting shampooed, so the greater part of the end of my day will be spent picking up things off the floor (chairs, floor mats, my crap, boxes, etc.) and moving them to the bathrooms or attic.  I'm guessing this will make me late to leave, which I am not happy about. It has been causing me anxiety all week.

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/26/2021:
Great re the workout. Sorry about the disagreement with the husband, You’re gonna burn off a lot of calories on all that heavy cleaning!

bearcountrygg on 03/26/2021:
Sometimes those spouse spats help clear the air too......You and HOP have sure had to move furniture around a lot....I feel sorry for you guys.

Donkey - Thursday Mar 25, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Good morning!  I've run out of time to post much, unfortunately.  I hate mornings like this, when I feel rushed.  However a couple of things to mention:

(1)  Having about 3/4 cup of cottage cheese seemed to help calm me down yesterday.  I had it as part of my lunch, but I think today, I will use it as my afternoon snack and see how that goes.

(2)  Late last night, I was struggling HARD with myself.  I wanted a dish of ice cream very badly, but to do so would have required quite a bit of effort.  I thought of Maria on her Honey Bun Island, and felt like if I had had the ice cream, that I would be on my Ice Cream Float-Boat on the way to Honey Bun Island - LOL.  I pictured a pontoon boat, but instead of floaters, it was scoops of ice cream, as I floated down the River of Self-Indulgence.  I did NOT want to board the Ice Cream Float-Boat!

  • Instead, I stayed upstairs, got into bed, and spent too much time on my phone, which is why I'm really tired today.

I had a nice chat with my Boss and the New Guy yesterday afternoon, how I'm feeling so tense and crabby by the end of the day, and that I don't like feeling that way.  They gave me some pointers and suggestions, and I said I would work on it.  Having this conversation really helped me, by bringing my problem to the table, and then finding ways to work on it.  It would have been OK if they didn't suggest anything - just the fact that I mentioned it helped.


Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/25/2021:
Well your day yesterday sounds like it was very successful! At least 3 issues dealt with....win...win!

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
I agree - I had the feeling that a plan was coming together. It's a great feeling!

Maria7 on 03/25/2021:
I laughed when I read about your Ice Cream Float-Boat on the way to Honey Bun Island....HAHAHAHA!!! Thanks for writing that! I needed a good laugh today! Wonderful that you did not give in! Btw, I am still here on Honey Bun Island. Thought I was going to get off of it yesterday but didn't. No, you do not want to come here. You should see the animals here...they are all very big, eating all these sweet carbs! Good you had a chat with your Boss and New Guy. I know that released some tension as well as good communication goes a long way and hopefully this will help things to be much better from here on. So proud of you! Hope you day today is a good one! HUGS!

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
I had a small dish of ice cream for dessert after dinner, to show myself that yes, I can have ice cream, under appropriate circumstances. I think it worked. I'm hoping it worked. I do not want to board the Float-Boat tonight.

innerpeace on 03/25/2021:
Clever!! Good for you for not getting on board! BRAVO!

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
Thank you! I'm trying to keep things in perspective, with moderation. Trying is the key word.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2021:
with contracts, i'm only working on the payment part, not really with them i guess...my boss does the real contract work! haha, i think you'd get along ok...except he thinks he's smarter than everyone! (he specifically told me this is his flaw hahahaha!)

great idea with the cottage cheese. i do know that cheese and stuff will work out better than a chocolate which wears off in an hour...but i like it that way for now...

def use maria and the others here as guidance and ways to help you...also use your own experiences...do not forgot all you have learned about yourself on what works!

i know what you mean about bringing up how you feel at work on certain workloads or situations ... it can help to not keep it all inside your head, it can be so stressful. now you keep your head high and keep on.

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
Something about cheese calms me down.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2021:
i commented back on my entry to your comment :)..answered an old question i think i forgot to answer awhile back.

Donkey - Wednesday Mar 24, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Good morning!  I started out this morning in a good place, and had a very good bike ride this morning. This has changed, due to things that I have written but since deleted, since it's not diet related, and we all have different opinions here.  

Anyway, trying to get back on track...

Yesterday, I was keenly aware of that anxiety/stress that I feel in the afternoon that causes me to stress-eat.  It starts around 2:30p and grows increasingly uncomfortable through 3:30p, possibly 4pm.  I say "possibly" because at 3:30p, I reached for carrot sticks, which seemed to ... not do much damage.  It didn't really SOLVE the problem but helped with minimal damage.  So today I have celery AND carrot sticks.

Around this time - 3:00pm ish - is when I just seem to run out of steam.  My patience is gone, my will to be at work is gone (i.e. I just want to go home), I have nothing left to offer anyone.  This "mental fatigue" manifests itself in anxiety, which I seek to self-medicate to push through to 5pm.

I thought about bringing a little wine to work, to calm my nerves, but I don't want to go there.  It just occurred to me that this is when I should make myself a cup of tea. I will try that FIRST today, instead of reaching for the celery and carrots.

So my goal is to remain mindful and aware in the afternoon and try the tea.  There are other things I can try to, such as limit the phone calls I will accept.  This is not always as easy at it seems to do, since this is a client-based business.  My purpose is to be available to the clients -- but at what expense to my own sanity and well-being????

I had an awesome upper body weight session last night.  Tonight is just cardio, which will be at home, unless I'm inspired to go to the gym for cardio.  But no weights.


Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/24/2021:
Think wine at work is a bad idea. I’d try for benzos before going there, but seems many physicians are reluctant to prescribe. They are highly addictive, not good. You’ll find a way. A good way.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
OK, it's a no-go on the wine. I would like to avoid taking a med for this feeling, though. Most of them put me to sleep, even with a minimal dosage cut in half! Plus, I'm not sure I would trust myself to drive home a couple of hours after taking a pill.

Long ago, I used to have an Rx for Ativan, which worked, if I were at home.... Oh dear, I just don't know if I want to go down that road again.

But I hear you, and I thank you for the suggestion. I will keep this in my back pocket if I can't get a grip or if things get worse. Definitely if they get worse.

innerpeace on 03/24/2021:
Totally understand...mental fatigue is a thing, I know. DH can't understand why I'm tired because I didn't do anything physical - he has no idea about capacity draining mental fatigue. This is why I believe the siesta was created!! Why deal with this if you don't have to...if only this practice would be adopted in the US. I hope you have a great day and your tea helps.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
EXACTLY!!!! And that's a really good point about a siesta.

bearcountrygg on 03/24/2021:
I agree...alcohol at work wouldn't be a good thing. I would search for another way to calm yourself......some people find a worry stone helps... a small smooth stone ( about the size of a nickel)...that when rubbed calms them down. Myself...I find taking a deep breath helps...maybe look for decaf coffee or tea. I'm sure right now afternoons seem miserable.....Hope today works out better.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
Yes, I agree that the wine probably isn't a good idea. Not that my boss would have any objections. I suspect he has a drink when he goes out to lunch, which is quite often.

One of my kids had a worry stone that my mother gave him/her. I should look for that.

You have helpful suggestions to try. I have to keep trying until I find something that works.

Maria7 on 03/24/2021:
Always know that if you want to write something here, you are free to do it. I have done this today, written my feelings, which are also not related to diet. I am so thankful to have the support of all you wonderful, caring DD Friends.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
I don't like to write here from my computer at work, BUT you have a good point that it's better to write HERE - even if I have to write from my phone - versus eating food at work.

So this is a good suggestion. I will make it a stipulation that if I feel weak in resisting work junk food, that I will (1) step away from my desk, AND (2) log on here, from my phone, and report myself to you all. (ha ha, that sounds like I'm turning myself in to the DD police squad or something)

Horn_of_plenty on 03/24/2021:
i'd vouch for tea, celery and carrots...why not all 3...celery and carrots do no damage. also, a chocolate or two plus tea may be good. the reason i keep mentioning sweets is because it helps my body make seratonin and i've decided sweets have been more helpful than not.

yes, you have to work it out - limit things and learn how to be most "sane" in the afternoon. nobody will do it for you, not even a boss! ha!

btw, i also help my boss develop changes to he contract, we call them "mods," modifications. in the past, while working in estimating, there were riders and ammendments! seems you also work under "contracts," just like me!

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
The problem with 1 or 2 chocolates is that this "hit" of sugar, at work, usually starts me down a path of consumption that I cannot control. I have found 2 things that might work better for me: cottage cheese or a small slice of sourdough bread. I tried both of those this week, and felt a significant change in satiation.

Not that I want to get into the habit of bringing a slice of bread to work. I try hard to avoid bread. If I bring it from home, though, I will eat it.

I love working with contracts! Very good for my OCD tendencies.

Jacky82020 on 03/25/2021:
I take a one low dose Xanax as a sleep aid. Couldn’t imagine it all day but suppose ppl build up tolerances. My mean old MIL was hooked on Ativan,

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