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Donkey - Sunday Dec 01, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 134.0

Day 62:  Intention:  Today, I allow myself to feel sorrow and grief.  Mantra:  Just get through today.

 Well...  my son is off.  He managed to avoid delays and bad weather, thank goodness.  That is how getting up at the butt-crack of dawn is rewarded.  It was very foggy when I got up and wet outside.  It has just now started to rain again, and this will soon become a snowy mix.  I shouldn't have to shovel.

No yoga at the Yoga Studio today.  I slept in a little, because I was up all night doing laundry.  If it's not one cat losing her bladder control (Baby Kitty aka Sick Kitty), it's the New Kitty, voicing his frustration.  Oh well, it's a nice day to stay at home and do laundry.

Poor Baby Kitty is still sick, but at least she is still eating wet food; she will not drink water any more.  Not using her box any more as she has little control with her legs.  I do hope that she can bounce back, when her medicine gets here on Tuesday.  And so help me Jesus if somebody steals the box of meds off the front porch, they will have Kitty's death on their hands.  

It's a lot of work and a lot of stress.... and just sadness.  Some of the sadness is hormones, I get that.  So I'm just going to allow myself to feel everything I need to feel.

I plan to do  yoga at home today with New Kitty.  Even though he pees on my bed, I do really like him.  My daughter, though, told his former owner (her co-worker) that co-worker needs to find a new home for Jack.  I hope not.  I really do like him a lot.

Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/01/2019:
I hope the kitty hangs in there for the meds to arrive. I'm sure it was sad to have your son go back to his base......did you notice any change in his maturity? They do leave boys and come back men.....and that is a good thing.I'm glad to hear that his flight left on time....that could have been rough otherwise.

Donkey on 12/02/2019:
Yes, he has matured quite a bit... but then he'll do something and we'll think,"Yep, that's my boy!"

happy-1 on 12/01/2019:
My cat pees on my bed also. I covered it with a tarp and a light blanket. He can tell the difference and frustratingly waits till my sheets are exposed.

Donkey on 12/02/2019:
I've switched out bed coverings so that the blanket is easier to wash than the comforter. Also using Resolve spray on the mattress... not sure it discourages behavior, but it should zap out any residual odors.

BearCountryGG on 12/02/2019:
I'm wondering if the cats you both have now think they are supposed to use your beds as a bathroom....they may be confused.......in all of the cats we have ever had it happened only once and it was my fault...I had cleaned out her litter box and when I put the lid back on I accidentally turned her doorway to the wall and she couldn't get it.....when i went to bed around midnight...I found a "SURPRISE" waiting for me right in the middle of the bed.....I think if I was to have that issue with a cat again...i would shut the bedroom door...and probably put the litter box right there next to the door until they get the idea again.....and have a few "successes".

BearCountryGG on 12/02/2019:
Wait a minute...I forgot the cat that NEVER used the litter box....and always used the bed......We called him uncle grandpa because he had double feet...all four of them...he had to be returned to our friends farm where we got him....he would stand on the bed and glare at me.......he liked the farm better...and ahad probably never had used a litter box in his lifee.

BearCountryGG on 12/02/2019:
SONS...know them well...no matter what....they can still act like our little boys......spent much of the morning on the phone with 1 of ours...his sump pump quit and was flooding his basement......got the replacement in in time to not affect his furnace...I swear he was basically hyperventilating for the entire time.....hope he has calmed down now....

Horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2019:
keeping sick kitty in my prayers, crossing my fingers!

glad your son got back despite the bad weather which we are having, too. it's not sticking much, yet...

Donkey - Saturday Nov 30, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 134.0

 Day 61:  Intention:  Mantra:

It's almost 10am and I'm the only one up.  Our poor kitty with the eye problem was not doing too well this morning.  So bad, in fact, that my daughter texted me that she thought the cat would die today.  Her eye tumor is caused by a rare fungal infection, and the custom made medicine won't get here until Wednesday or Thursday.  However, she is not drinking enough water, and that is dangerous for cats.  So I will be tending to her regularly today, to see if I can get her to drink and eat wet food.  Hang in there, Kitty!

I plan to spend most of today at home.

Today is the last day with our son.  His flight leaves early tomorrow morning, so we have to get him to the airport even earlier.  I am hoping that by leaving early, he can avoid the rain/snow mix and high winds that is supposed to affect the Chicago area.

I did pretty well on Thanksgiving and then yesterday - with the sole exception of PIE.  Oh my goodness, BOTH pies have got to GO.  Anyway, I did pretty well but have not weighed myself, so who really knows.

I have not heard back from the Hard Yoga studio that offers Friday night yoga - regarding a promotional 10% off.  Perhaps it is not meant to be.  Well, with the holiday and all, perhaps the owner just hasn't gotten back to me yet.

Any yoga I do today will be at home, and I'm not so sure I'll do any today.  I feel like I need a reset, a refocus.

Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/30/2019:
Oh poor kitty.....Hope the meds get there in time.... I'm glad that you have had some time with your son.....I'm sure you guys were relieved to see him.

happy-1 on 11/30/2019:
From your comment on Legcramp's post... "I love a clean house. That's all I'm saying. My son doesn't understand why it's so important to me. It's not that cleanliness in itself is important, but rather, the dirtiness - I'm not talking untidy, I'm talking dirty - attacks my inner well-being. And I'm not really a germaphobe by any means."

Because our homes are an expression of our minds and every corner has to be in order to feel whole.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/01/2019:
Today i noticed you didn't have a mantra.

I hope your kitty feels better, i'm really sorry you and the kitty are having to deal with this upsetting situation!

I'm so glad you were able to spend time with your son! so how is he doing!?

It might be difficult for the yoga studies to return your call so soon due to the holiday? perhaps? also, isn't it great to be able to exercise at home? boy is it easier for me than going out to the gym!!!! for myself i plan to do legs!...i must write what i do in my entry today for a legs routine.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/01/2019:
i just wrote out my leg exercises on my diary entry :)

Donkey - Thursday Nov 28, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 134.0

Day 59:  Today I honor my blessings.  Mantra:  Happy Thanksgiving!

 I am enjoying a quiet morning.  Everyone is still sleeping. I checked on my kids and our poor little sick kitty.  Old Kitty has said her good mornings.  New Kitty is still in his room, where he stays overnight, so that our house can rest without the possiblity of major cat battles during the night.  I had a handful of walnuts and a smaller handful of almonds.  I am drinking coffee.

Because my daughter has to work today, we are planning on having a Thanksgiving breakfast brunch.  I know there will be yogurt, fresh fruit, and some kind of blueberry French Toast casserole dish.  

For dinner, which will be myself, Mr. Donkey, and Son, because nobody here is a big turkey eater, we're having shepherd's pie instead, with spiced baked apples, (possibly Brussel spouts, otherwise green salad), and then 2 types of pie for dessert, apple and pumpkin.

I will do the best that I can do.  

I had a very nice Stress Reducing session on Tuesday.  Yesterday, Mistakes Girl and I tried "Gentle Yoga", to give it a test run before recommending it to Male Co-Worker.  I personally felt that this class is exactly what he needs - easy, gentle, relaxing - to help him with his anxiety.  I was a little disappointed though, because usually Danielle teaches the class, and I wanted to meet her and try out her teaching style.  She's in Vegas visiting family for the holiday - which kind of stabbed me, because this is what *I* should be doing - so the teacher was the owner, Sarah.  I like Sarah, but I did want to meet someone new.

So I didn't get out of it what I wanted.  

I've been struggling with return to Vinyasa Yoga (see Donkey's Yoga Disaster 3).  Love the challenge, appreciate teacher Jeanne, but I don't know if I'm ready for it...  I like the challenge, but is it honoring my body's limitations?  I was thinking, because I have hip alignment and lower back issues, perhaps balance poses will never be a possibility for me.  Like the Library Yoga teacher, who is also physically limited (weight loss surgery), perhaps this is me, too.  

I'm thinking of going back to the first yoga studio (see Donkey's Yoga Disaster 1), because they offer a Friday evening "Let Go" class.  That is the only class I would plan to take with them.  I received an offer for a 10% discount because I attended that awful free class.  I was thinking of getting a 10-class ticket.  They are discounted for "newbies" - a one-time deal.

IDK, lately I've been experiencing discouragement in my yoga journey.  I suppose even with that which we love, there are difficulties...  

Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/28/2019:
The zen of yoga for me is there even if I don't do it perfectly....for me it's a mind set...or mind shift...it's calming and since i do it at home....there is no chance of anyone else noticing my mistakes...of course D could click a picture if he was to sneak downstairs but he has no idea of how to put that on the internet...so I'm safe....he may chuckle...but that is the worst thing that can happen. I just prescribe to progress not perfection.....i have never been perfect in anything I have ever done in life...so I don't expect it anymore....just a perk of living so long I guess....but my guess is that you are doing so much better now than you did those first few times....and that is a GOOD THING!!!

Donkey on 11/28/2019:
"Progress not perfection" -- YES!!!

But do I subject myself to the physical effort and humiliation/frustration in the meantime? I guess there's no improvement without struggling with the process...

BearCountryGG on 11/28/2019:
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving...so nice that your son is home for a visit!!!

Donkey on 11/28/2019:
It IS so nice to have him home - I'm so proud of him!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/29/2019:
Happy Thanksgiving to you too! I love a pumpkin pie. i wish we had it. we also had an apple streusel and wow....wayyyy too much cinnamon and while the doughy breading was good, the apple part was not! did you make yours?

hmmm...even though you didn't get out of yoga to meet the teacher, you still did an entire full session of yoga practice :) that to me is the bigger accomplishment and wow! - you brought your coworker!? how cool!

why with weight loss surgery is the teacher limited? do you know? (curious)

for your yoga, realize (perhaps) that to get what you want from it and learn what you like, you're checking out everything to also see what is not for you. it's all know to you, so i guess it's not all roses.

once, i was VERY into hot yoga. for over a year, maybe more like 2 years. with the hot yoga, i didn't like it at first, but it grew on me...

you are just learning what you like and don't like with yoga and it makes sense for you not to like everything but in your exploration, i guess you are going by trial and error!

Donkey on 11/30/2019:
I thank you for your words of encouragement and wise perspective! Yes, I give myself credit for getting over to 6pm yoga. Those 6pm class times are really hard because of work. I AM hoping that we can encourage Male Co-Worker to attend the class.

True, I am still testing the waters. I am much more into Yin Yoga - slower paced, holding positions for 5-10 breaths - than any other kind of yoga. I still want - or think I want - the challenge of a faster paced class. I'll give it a little more time to see if I can improve. If not, then I'm going to focus more on what I CAN do.

The Library Yin Yoga teacher said that she used yoga as her physical exercise component to her weight-loss surgery. She still has quite a bit of excess skin and fat, so she may not be done losing. And I don't know if yoga is the ONLY thing she does - she may do some walking too.

I find for myself that being larger in the legs and having extra flab in my gut interferes with faster yoga. The legs are kind of double-edged: I have amazing strength that I didn't even know, but being larger, some of the positions are not attainable because the muscle gets in the way. And my gut - well I've had that since I was 20, but the extra skin is from having 2 HUGE babies!

happy-1 on 11/29/2019:
Don't worry about struggling or being embarrassed. You do you and have fun. Other people are far more worried about their cellulite and fat to worry about your poses.

Donkey on 11/30/2019:
THANKS! I know you are right. What is silly is that there is a feeling of disappointing the instructor ("What am I doing wasting my time teaching this clumsy donkey who can't keep up?") And yet, I know this is not so. First of all, one's yoga is about oneself, not expectations of the teacher. Second of all, Jeanne was so encouraging, and being a new studio, I would hope that it's better to teach one student - even if she's not perfect - than to have no one show up.

happy-1 on 11/29/2019:
And I' struggling to get to the mat too.

happy-1 on 12/02/2019:
I'd say she needs the bodies to keep the class going and is probably happy to be part of someone making positive life changes.

happy-1 on 12/02/2019:
Also, if they don't want beginners they need to put some levels on it so that Level 3's don't have to put up with Level 0.1's :-P

Donkey - Tuesday Nov 26, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 134.0

 Day 57:  

The soreness in my neck lasted until the afternoon yesterday,  but is no longer bothering me this morning.  Yay!

I did not sleep well at all.  My husband was up all night with GI and bathroom problems. He did not sleep at all, so at least I'm better off than he is. 

I found out yesterday that myself and Nice Lady will be the only ones in the office on Friday (Thursday is American Thanksgiving).  Everyone else is taking the day off. 

Tonight is Stress Reducing Yoga.  If you couldn't tell,  I've been very discouraged about yoga lately.  Sunday, I was so down in the dumps about it. 

It's funny how this one thing (yoga) is bringing up so many unresolved issues that I've been carrying around with me:  body image,  gender issues, performance issues,  aging issues...

Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 11/26/2019:
Maybe you and Nice Lady could take off Friday also? Make for a long weekend? But if not, at least it should be stress-free Friday, with just the two of you working, so that would be good. I hope that you and your Hubby feel better today. Good that you have your yoga to reduce stress as well as it is a good workout, too. Hope you have a good day.

Donkey on 11/26/2019:
That is a good idea - to do something together. I will have stuff to do on Friday (planned it that way) that should take only an hour at the most. I plan to leave at lunchtime, and she said she plans to stay until 3pm. Maybe though, we could do something together at work, if we have nothing to do.

BearCountryGG on 11/26/2019:
Hope you are both feeling better...Issues.....I think we all have them...sometimes I think we are our own toughest critics.....

Donkey on 11/28/2019:
100% true - I might be too hard on myself. Is this a lesson to learn through yoga? Perhaps... perhaps...

horn_of_plenty on 11/27/2019:
Try to take all the yoga with a grain of salt like you know it should be since it’s voluntary and meant to help and not to hurt...

Will Friday be easier ?

Donkey on 11/28/2019:
You are completely right about yoga. Why do I struggle with accepting my own limitations? *sigh*

I do not have much to do at work on Friday. I plan to stay until 11am, to be frank. Oh... I just realized that I should try to be home when my daughter is awake right before she goes to work at noon.... Well, I do not think that part will work out.

Donkey - Monday Nov 25, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 134.0

 Day 56:

I finally remembered to weigh in.  I had intended to do this over the weekend,  but kept forgetting.  Still maintaining!

I went to Yin Yoga yesterday.  This is a slow class,  where we hold seated or lying down poses for longer periods of time.  It's a wonderful stretch,  but this morning I woke up with a sore neck. 

I did a "gentle yoga" session later in the afternoon,  at home,  using the app on my phone.  I was startled when I actually fell over during a position where I was on my hands and knees (with a twist).  That was sobering.  Losing my balance on my hands and knees???

I see now where my struggle lies.   I've pushed this off to the side for a while,  moving forward in denial. But one way or another,  I WILL have to face the limitations of my body. 

I try to do too much. In trying to achieve the position or sequence,  I overdo it,  to show that I can do it.   This means that my practice is ego-driven, and that's not good.   (Basically,  I'm showing off,  to others,  perhaps,  but mostly to myself. )

My limitations may be due to the body I've been given,  they may be due to age.  They are difficult to acknowledge,  much less to respect. 

Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/25/2019:
First off...YEAH...for maintaining!! Those limitations.....know them well...at first it's a shock...and then denial...and then acceptance....and then life goes on...and it's OKAY!!! Don't be hard on yourself....yoga is about stretching and having a zen mindset to me...I'm of course not sure what it is for others....it is graceful and beautiful and a good stretch for muscles.....it helps me to think of a swan and peacefulness, and an ocean when I'm doing yoga.......of course these days...the swan is more like a penguin, and the ocean is more like a flood and the peacefulness is interrupted by a cat that thinks I should be petting him.....but I carry on....the usefulness of the poses is still there.....and I fall over sometimes myself....( you know...if trees don't bend...they break...be like a tree...don't break)

Donkey on 11/26/2019:
Your description of your yoga sounds a lot like mine, minus the cat wanting pets. None of my cats seem to be remotely impressed or interested in my yoga sessions...

It's just hard when you want to be able to do something and you find that you cannot.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/26/2019:
I feel ya when it comes to respecting your body's limitations as that has always been hard for me too, especially in terms of walking and how long the distance i choose. (re your comment back below)

Isn't it great to maintain!? sometimes i forget how far i've come, but it's simply the best - to put on clothes and they fit and no worries in that dept !!!

well, back to limitations- with more practice, you may probably just improve in your yoga abilities!

Donkey on 11/26/2019:
That is my hope, that the more I practice yoga, the more flexible and balanced I will become.

It's good to have a dream.

Donkey - Saturday Nov 23, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 132.5

Day 54:  Intention:  Today I honor my body's abilities.

I think I will skip going to Slow Warm Yoga class today, and just pratice at home. I want to see my daughter before she goes to work, and my hips are still sore.

Low-Key Voice-Over:  Recap of Thursday night's new yoga adventure...

(cue LOUD dramatic music)


Let me preface this by saying that I was the only student there.  There is something to be said to being in a larger group of people, even if I'm the only one there floundering like a walrus.  When you're in a group, you can kind of hide.  You can look at other students (who know what they are doing) to see what you should be doing.  Being the only one there kind of puts all of my flaws and errors right out there in the open.

So, I walk into New Yoga Studio, and I am greated warmly by instructor Jeanne (Jean), who is 66 and has had a double hip replacement.  She is not familiar with me, so she asks me what my yoga background is.  I tell her about my Yoga Disaster in September, when I took that free class (and paid dearly for it, physically and with humility).  Jeanne asks me who taught that class.  I say, "Marianne".  She says, "Oh, Marianne is one of the hardest yoga instructors in the area.  She was MY teacher." 

She then goes on to say:  "I'll modify my program tonight so I don't work you too hard. "  Um...  "This class is normally taught at a 2+ level, so I'll bring it down to a 2, maybe a little under."  Uh... I must have misread the class description that said all levels welcome.  I just checked and it says, "This is a faster-pace all levels class."  That would be a big NO -- fast means more advanced, I don't care what they say.  All levels may be welcome, but the newbies like me are gonna end up being big sweat balls by the end of the class.

One of the positives of her class is that she DOES correct form, so she made some verbal cues and actually helped me physically adjust some of my poses so that I get the true benefit of the position.  THAT was MUCH appreciated.  I know that yoga is all about honoring your body and doing what your body can do (and respecting what it cannot do), but it's important to me to know the proper form, and then THAT can be modified.

Although it's not the fastest yoga class - remember, she said she'd tone it down - I was struggling to keep up, and by that I mean, literally huffing and puffing.  I found that positions that I can do when I just do them, say like when brushing my teeth or standing in front of the TV, I cannot do when motion is involved - as in, part of a movement sequence.  Also, my extra cushion-y mat is counterproductive to achieving balance on one leg/foot.  A harder, firmer surface is better.  Whatever this class may have been, it was DEFINITELY a learning experience for me, and that's another huge positive for me in my journey.

So I'm struggling - yes, really struggling - to keep up with the sequence, follow her cues, execute proper form.  This isn't Hot Yoga, but I'm starting to sweat.  I thought I was doing OK though, until at one point, she says, "Do you want water? (doesn't wait for me to answer) I'm going to get you a bottle of water, because I don't want you to pass out on the floor!"  LOL!  I figured that I must truly look a hot mess to prompt her concern.  Oh dear... oh dear Donkey...

EPILOGUE:  I really did like this class, and I REALLY appreciated all of the insight and the perspective from the teacher.  I do want to do this class again - after all, everyone has a Beginning.  However, the soreness in my hip joints yesterday and today have me wondering if I'm ready for this, if I'll EVER be ready for this.  (I'll explain)

See, after class, Jeanne says to me, "In my own personal yoga practice, I only do the slower paced Yin Yoga because of my own limitations."  WHAT????  That's like me coaching you to do a milllion sit-ups while I sit on my butt.  

So I don't know.  This is the class and venue (small & private) I've been looking for to advance my yoga practice.  But I do not know if my body is up for this advancement.  Next week is Thanksgiving, so no class, thankfully (no pun intended).  I would like to try this again, and if I can keep up, incorporate it as a regular class that I attend, if my body will permit it.  See, I don't know if I'm sore just as it was a different workout, or if I'm sore because my body can't handle it.

It would be interesting to see what I think and how I feel if there are others in attendance.  Believe me when I say that when there are others in the class, it changes the whole dynamic and experience (for me, personally).  Additionally, at New Yoga Studio, it's only been women.  I realized about a month ago that if/when there are men in any given yoga class (i.e. Cat Yoga), it definitely changes the experience for me, and not necessarily in a positive way.  I've looked online at other yoga studios, and when realizing they had male instructors I was like, "Not ready for that."  So what's that all about?

DRAMATIC VOICE-OVER:  Stay tuned for upcoming previews of Donkey's Yoga Disaster 4... (lol)


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 11/23/2019:
Well, the good, the bad, and the ugly: The good is you stuck with it. Hung in there and did your very best, sweat and all. The bad is you are in pain from your endeavor. The ugly is that you are not happy you are the only one in the class (among other negatives) and therefore it might be better to find a class you feel happier in. Does that make any sense? Do you feel that you achieved what you went through the class to achieve? Do you want to risk a higher level class even if it puts your body at risk of strain or pain (or both)? It is something to think about but I know you will make the right decision for you. Have a happy evening.

Donkey on 11/25/2019:
Thank you for these comments! So helpful! Especially the questions you pose, for me to ask myself? Did I get what I wanted from this experience?

I want to write more about this. You've really made me think.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/24/2019:
just looked at your weight chart and realized again: 50lb loss! no joke. you have come so far!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/24/2019:
i doubt you looked like a hot mess and i'm sure other people would have felt the same as you doing that type of yoga. i would. also, maybe water is expected at this type of yoga class. maybe people usually bring their own from home, you don't know ;)

then, after all, you were going for the Yin Yoga too. you said it yourself, you like the slower yoga. so i do i DO think you are ready for it - you are just trying all the types and finding what you like.

go you, a private less. I DO hope your soreness subsides and i DO think it will.

at least you got your money / time's worth with this private lesson.

that's prob why they advertise it...to build up the practice.

if you struggle, you will not be the only one struggling. it's not like you don't exercise at all! so, i am quite sure there would be others in the same predicament as you if they had gone there!

i have had a private lesson in pilates once. she pushed me very hard bc it was a private lesson and i was sore for a few days from that...made me never want to do it again lol. but bc it's so expensive and i myself am not interested in going anywhere except my home for exercise right now, i pilates is not on my mind either. (plus i would never stick to something that needs such a lot of outside heavy equipment like that ...not now anyways.)

Donkey on 11/25/2019:
If I attend the difficult class again, I will dress better, and I will bring my own water bottle.

I will also (try to) respect my body's limitations. THIS is what I'm really struggling with, I realize.

Donkey - Thursday Nov 21, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 132.5

Day 53:  Intention:  Today I will remain focused in a quiet calmness.  Mantra:  Let it roll.

 The boss is back at work today - a day early - so that will change the office dynamics for sure.  He popped in yesterday afternoon.  I tried to seem interested in his trip to Italy, which I am and was, but after Chair Yoga, I was kind of tired, and he wanted to get stuff done, too.  I'm sure there will be more chatter about it today.

In a way, this is a good thing that he's back early, because there are 3 files that need immediate attention and frankly, Associate Attorney just didn't manage his time wisely enough to get it done.  So at least my boss can determine if he wants to address these 3 files today OR let Associate Attorney finish it up this afternoon.  That is to say, at least **I** am not the one making that determination - either way is fine by me, because I'm letting it roll.

I keep choosing this mantra because there is a song by the old band Wings (Paul McCartney after the Beatles) called "Let It Roll", so I sing this to myself throughout the day, and it helps keep me focused on just letting things go...  I thought about changing the mantra to "Roll With It" but the music cue helps me more, I think.  And I love that song.  

Library Chair Yoga was good - challenging in some respects.  At one point, the teacher had us standing for a few poses - some of them requiring balancing on one foot, which I thought was VERY challenging for chair yoga.  Anyway, we're standing up and all I could think about is how much I wanted to sit down.  I think I'm battling off getting sick, because yet another co-worker (Mortgage Guy) is sick.  We're all taking turns getting sick, and so far, I've been pretty lucky.  So maybe that's why I was feeling "tired"???

So, I was rather surprised at myself for wanting to sit down so badly because normally, at work, that's all I do is sit, and I'm eager to get up and walk around.  (Fitbit reminds me to do this every hour.)  I'm not sure where that feeling of fatigue was coming from...

My husband commented to me that out of all 3 chair yogas that we do, the library one is his least favorite.  It's more exercise - focusing on posture and body dynamics (e.g. how to get up off a chair correctly) - rather than focusing on the principles of yoga (breathing, dissolving into the stretches, etc. - NOT in a religious aspect at all).  But I think that's why I like this teacher (Allison); it's DIFFERENT.  She's about 15 years older than I am.  I want to be like her when I grow up.  Not that I disagree with my husband, but just saying that it's good to have a different perspective.

Misc. Random Thoughts:

  • Tonight, I'm going to do my very best to make it to New Yoga Studio for Vinyasa Flow.  I will let you know!
  • Husband has encouraged me to sign up for a yoga retreat at New Yoga Studio.  He says that he'll pay for daughter to come with me, if she wants.  So nice to have his support!  I'm still thinking about this.
  • Remember my "Donkey's Yoga Disaster" adventure in September?  That yoga studio sent me a coupon for 10% off of my next purchase.  They have a newbie pass that is cheaper than their regular passes, and with the additional discount, it would be very cheap.  Why would I even consider going back there?  Because on Fridays, after work, they have a relaxing yin yoga that would be very nice to indulge in.  I'm thinking about this.  I have a little mad money saved away that I could use for this.  I have to make a decision within the next 2 weeks though.
  • My husband went to New Yoga Studio for Chair Yoga (discounted for veterans, and it gets him out of the house).  He said he met the owner, and she "knows" me.  Wow!  That's kind of cool to know, that she knows me, and I'm not just another face coming through the door!  Maybe this is meant to be my yoga home 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 11/21/2019:
Sounds like you are handling everything in a positive way and enjoying the benefits from not allowing your thoughts to be dominated by negative things! Good for you!

Maria7 on 11/22/2019:
Re: My above comment...I am doing the same. Wishing you a happy day today!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/23/2019:
I never got to do the chair yoga :( (no everyone was interested in my group and the teachers weren't motivated to do it with us)...but i guess i can look online for a demo and do it at home if i really want to !! :)

it's good your boss is being efficient and coming into the office to see how everything's going...

i like your mantra and def the extra song association. very creative of you and GREAT to sing to yourself the lyrics! how constructive and motivating is that!?

whenever i'm about to get sick, i recognize the "tired" feeling also - when my body just wants to sleep and sleep. right now my dad has a sore throat which i hope he'll get over soon. i think he got run down a little bit.

all your yoga plans are thoughtful of course...perhaps the yin yoga would be cool to try. can you just go one time to see if you like it?

Donkey - Wednesday Nov 20, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 132.5

 Day 52:  Intention:  Today,  I choose  to relax and chill.  Mantra:  Let it roll.

The boss is back in town but not coming in until Friday, discovering,  although there is the strong possibility that he'll pop in before then.  I hope not. 

Yesterday,  Male Co-Worker took Mistakes Girl and Queen Bee out for lunch.  I seized that opportunity to go shopping during my lunch hour.  When I shop,  it usually takes a little more than an hour, so I got my treat too!  And I consider it an extra treat because this is something I can do while the boss it out. Who the h*** wants to go out to eat with those people? I truly got the better deal. 

Today is Library Chair Yoga with the husband at 2 pm.  Rather than work a short day,  I will go on my lunch hour and meet him there.   Looking forward to this,  in hopes that it makes me FEEL the urge (or craving) for more yoga. 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

legcramps on 11/20/2019:
Love that you got a little extra time yesterday to so something just for you! I agree that you got the better deal, especially when going out for lunch with coworkers. I often feel like "hey, I spend all day with you, can I at least have my lunch to myself?!" LOL. I go home for lunch, but I am really close to my workplace so it's not a big deal.

Donkey on 11/21/2019:

I could go home for lunch but I would only have 20 minutes of the hour to do anything.

BearCountryGG on 11/20/2019:
Sounds like a nice lunch hour you had......nothing like getting away from the office for awhile....Hopefully yoga will work out for you.

Donkey on 11/21/2019:
Spending my lunch hour with coworkers brings me no joy. There's a vicious story behind that, but since December 2017, I vowed I would never eat with my boss and coworkers again unless it was mandatory.

Maria7 on 11/20/2019:
Yayyy! You did something to make you feel good! Now...what did you get???

Donkey on 11/21/2019:
I got things that bring me joy: several kinds of coffee, birdseed, and corn for my squirrel friends.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/21/2019:
that totally makes sense what you wrote back to me below about yoga! i totally get it and have felt that way, too.

you totally DID get a better lunch hour! you also go to move around rather than sit out to eat. if i were in your place, i'd choose what you did too ;)

Let us know about the chair yoga. I've been asking for it, at the group therapy i'm attending, but, it hasn't been implemented yet. Meaning, they are trained, but they need to add it into the schedule as i do not think it's a "regular" item...so, it's sorta up to them if we get to do it!!

Donkey - Tuesday Nov 19, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 132.5

Day 52:  Intention:  Today I devote to focusing on my own well-being.  Mantra:  Take care of yourself. 

I am repeating my intention and mantra today in order to re-enforce my efforts to rebalance myself.  My weekend was whack, but yesterday (Monday) was better.  I put forth more mental energy into remaining calm, staying on task, getting back my sense of balance and well-being.  I do not see this as selfish but rather necessary, as I cannot take care of others or deal with others with kindness and patience if I myself am all over the place.  So please do understand that my thought/focus is not a selfish endeavor but as charitable as I can be.  After all, nobody wants to work with a crabby or deal with a mom/spouse who is unpleasant.

I am trying to remain serene and positive, but last night, when I was in bed, I realized that someone had decided to pee on the bed.  Oh my word...  And at 9pm and very tired already, I was not going to be able to stay up for another 2 hours to clean and dry the bedding.  So I just flipped everything over, so that the top of the blankets,etc. - where the odor was eminating from - to the bottom of the bed.  Right now, I've got my weighted blanket washed and air drying, and the comforter is in the washing machine.  The sheets and pillowcases - not affected but need to be washed anyway - and probably a good idea to do that, just in case - will have to be done by my husband or daughter, I guess.  

Stress Reduction Yoga is canceled for tonight because the instructor is out of town.  For where I'm at today, that's just fine.  I miss yoga, I need yoga, but I'm also OK with being home on Tuesday night.  My daughter has Sunday, Monday, Tuesday off - that is the only time I get to see her, and that's if she's not out with friends, or I'm out at work or sleeping.  If she decides to keep this schedule, I may not sign up for the next Tuesday night yoga series.

Next week my son comes home for Thanksgiving leave!

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

legcramps on 11/19/2019:
You know, even if repeating your intention and mantra WAS for selfish reasons, that would be ok too :)

Glad to hear you will be seeing your son soon!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2019:
wooohoooo!!! i cannot wait for your son to be home either!

sorry your yoga anticipations have all been cancelled / not completed. when this happens to me, i start to CRAVE the thing i haven't done! do you feel this way now? are you craving yoga?

i do think it's totally ok to take care of yourself. we discussed this a little too at my therapy today too.

Donkey on 11/20/2019:
I'm not so sure that I'm feeling the craving FOR yoga. What I'm feeling is the absence, but not quite feeling the urge. I believe this is because my practice is not strongly established. So it's like, I know something is missing, and logically, I know what's missing, but emotionally, I'm not making the connection yet.

Donkey - Monday Nov 18, 2019
(Lazy/dirty keto & recumbent biking (indoor))
Weight: 132.5

 Day 51:  Intention:  today I devote to my health and well-being.  Mantra:  Take care of yourself. 

Looking back over the weekend,  finding or feeling a balance was definitely a struggle.

I could not get myself to do yoga at home.  This is a mental block that I have to work through.  My practice is suffering, and I can feel this suffering my well-being, mentally and physically.  This weekend was evident of this.

I struggled all weekend with eating.  Sunday was peanut butter (again) and cheese.  Not feeling 100% because I wasn't eating 100%.  Also, not resting enough.  Just overall not taking care of myself.

On the plus side, I found 2 TV shows to watch while exercising in the evenings.  For bike riding in the basement, The Crown seems like it will fit the bill.  For using the treadmill in the living room, Superstore will work quite well.  

I relate so well to Superstore. It's like The Office for retail workplaces.   I've never worked retail,  but since daughter fights and shares her stories, the show really hits well. 

It's nice to have something to look forward to at the end of the day.  I'm not so sure that it should be TV shows that are my only glimmer of hope,  but for now,  I'll take it. 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/18/2019:
I love your INTENT and MANTRA.....they work for me today too. I also will be using the exercycle today.....I set an alarm because I never did hook up the screen on the bike...so I ride for a set amount of time ( wish I could find the directions...LOL)...and i watch youtube on my phone...that makes the time go by so much faster. I love superstore.....My oldest son also works retail, after years of being in construction and he likes that show himself.

legcramps on 11/18/2019:
Yes, I love the mantra for today!

Maria7 on 11/19/2019:
Yes, we should take care of ourselves. Taking care of others/everything else is good, but we also need to take care of ourselves, too, which simply means, do things that make 'us' feel good... It is so easy to get 'caught up' in everything else/everybody else, doing for them all the time. Have a good day.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2019:
There's nothing wrong with looking forward to TV shows! One day i will, too. I find it hard to concentrate on the TV or even find things i like but once i'm home exercising, i'm going to try again to exercise and watch some TV. there's things you can learn in the show and vocabulary / speech to listen to. i do not think it's all that bad. and to see human interaction.

sorry about the eating. we spoke a bit about eating in my therapy group. some people struggling more than i ever had, but they are young and i think will be better someday - just like me and you have seriously learned tons about managing our eating, we def have!

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