As anticipated, numbers were up. My fancy scale says that I gained a pound of muscle... It also registered a 1 pound gain rather than a 2 pound game as my cheap, but favorable scale. So whatever this number is, it's temporary.
Your comments to me on my last entry were so helpful - thank you!!! I really thought about what you all said.
My weigh-ins can be around this number for the holiday(s). I think a slightly higher weigh-in will help me more with maintaining sensible portion control & food choices than depriving myself and suffering the consequences (crabby, sad, tired, aches & pains, no energy, etc.). Moderation will be the most forefront goal, rather than restriction.
Still intending to reduce weigh-ins in 2019. This is a definite goal of mine this year.
I've reached and surpassed my goal number, although, like Gains said, I'm not even sure what number my body is happy at. But it is worth a couple of extra pounds or pound-fluctuation range, if it means feeling better, having more energy, and being of good cheer. I might need reminding of this, but I know it is true.
I realized this morning that I am at the weight where I was when I was in 7th grade. I'm also pretty much at the same height that I was when I was 12. I distinctly remember this, because I struggled to fit into my size 7 blue jeans that had this very pretty vine/flower embrodery pattern on the back pockets. And I was "fat" back then.
Well, here I am at the same the numbers... am I still "fat"? Here I am, lately thinking I'm at "goal", victory achieved! Other people have acknowledged my weight-loss and call it successful..... And then it really hit me, Wow, I'm pretty much back where I started! Why was it not OK then but now it's OK 36 years later?
I'm so confused...
Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!
Yesterday's hope for cheerfulness before I logged off to go to work quickly vanished, as almost all of my co-workers and myself brought a sour mood to our office. The boss - serious but in a good natured way - said that we all had to reconsider our attitudes and cheer up a bit. LOL... Once I got in another large cup of coffee and the Aleve kicked in to help with back pain, I felt much better. It was a good day, I think.
Last night, as I was riding the bike (for 25 minutes), it dawned on me how much energy I had. My legs didn't ache, I pushed myself to pedal faster, it felt good. Then it hit me that it's probably because I'm eating more food this week. I've mentioned here a couple of times that I feel like I'm eating too much. Healthy foods but too much.
So thus is the struggle I have. I really love the lower numbers on the scale, but staying there on a long-term basis is hard. HARD.
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!
I don't know what my ideal weight number is right now. It's changed so many times and I'm sure it'll change in the future too. When I weighed 283 last year, I thought my ideal weight would be just getting out of the 200's. I thought 195-199 would be awesome. And it was initially, but then I found I didn't really like what that felt like. So figured high 180's, but still had more tummy fat than I wanted. Sat in the 170's for most of this Spring and it felt good, but still had some belly fat I wasn't happy with. So now think dropping into the 160's might allow me to get to a place I'd like to stay. I'm determined to make it to my goal of dropping into the 160's, but don't know if that's where I'll end up being comfortable maintaining at. Once I'm there, I'm hoping that I'll be able to transition to daily maintenance and hoping that it will be do-able without all that much effort. If it turns into a constant struggle trying to maintain that number, I'll probably decide to go back into the 170's to see if that's a more easily sustained number.
All of that to say: If I get to my "goal number" and it's way too hard to maintain, I'm going to change my goal number. Losing the weight is hard and mentally taxing. I can deal with that on a temporary basis, but can't live the rest of my life like this. I hope to learn to maintain at a weight that allows me to relax, feel good, look decent, and just "live". Don't know what that feels like and don't know what I'll weigh when that goal is accomplished, but hope to find that happy number someday......
like you, eating more over the past 3 weeks has done something really remarkable with my body and just like everyone here saying their goal is to Maintain during the holiday season, my goal is very similar. I noticed HUGE definition in my upper body...and it's due to looking "swole" which happens to me when i'm fully hydrated / not thinning out / eating a bit more.
and i had thought about it last night briefly, how now my most important goal is NOT to be the thinnist / lightest. it's not to look "perfect" in a bathing suit.
my goal now is changed. I was the strength. i don't want necessarily to gain weight or gain a size, no. but, it's def not to lose at all.
in order to be a court officer, i need to still gain the strength and muscle still. and that's the only goal :) I actually hope to raise my metabolism still where i will be burning even more calories per day in the future :)
try to think of ways to change that last few sentences you wrote!
you MUST find ways to make it SIMPLER and EASIER to keep the #s on the scale.
for me, it's paying exorbitant prices sometimes on all the health items i like...
and it's also keeping up with exercise.
but you have great ways too...your munching on fresh veggies...you may want to experiment with adding a piece of salami or two with the veggies, for a fatty / more satisfying snack. for just 50 cals more...
try to make changes always...improve upon yourself.
if you are bored...or depressed over the difficulty, your creative mind needs to think of "new"...
take my advice.
and def let your coworkers be negative all they want...try to see the positive.
i would prefer to weigh / look a hair lighter, except, my body prefers where i'm at now. seems like a comfortable point for me.
***but no doubt i count my calories and stay in check to remain here since i love food and eating***
Having the energy to do the things you love to do?
Or struggling to keep a number on the scale and being unhappy and perhaps not getting in all the nutrition your body requires?
I don't like playing Devil's Advocate (ok, maybe I do), but I really think you should reconsider what part of your life should be HARD, and what part should be reasonably controlled and maintained without having to struggle every single day.
I bet you anything (because I know for a fact) you would enjoy those bike rides so much more and for so much longer if you actually had the energy to motivate yourself to keep going.
This day already seems difficult... Feeling bloated... Work has been a battlefield every day, usually with lenders or other attorneys... Holiday stress is already getting to me with all this Black Friday talk... I received a larger medical bill from when I hurt my back in summer 2017! Insurance had appealed this, I guess, and so the $600 balance that I end up owing is DUE NOW. I'm going to have to dip into savings to pay for that, because right now, my checking account has a little over $500 in it. My back is tight -- probably from the stress -- and it's supposed to snow again today. I had hoped that my son would mow the backyard today to mulch up all the fallen leaves.
It just seems to all be piling up on me at once, and it feels overwhelming.
Well, a grumpy disposition will do nothing to solve that, so I might as well be cheerful and take one task at a time. And all I can do is try to make the best food decisions for myself today. The weekend, next week's class, the holidays, all of that will wait... Right now, my focus is getting through today, as kindly and as cheerful as possible.
I do hear you about difficult days though, and wanting to wallow in the misery of it, even for a little while!
but trust me, Jdonk, please try to be thankful for the positive things. look for them. smile.
your end sentences here are good...that you will get thru and try your best. that is all we can do.... <3
I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I wanted to talk about this now, so that I can plan. Having a plan is essential to weight-loss and/or maintenance ("After-Land").
Next week, with American Thanksgiving, starts about a month (a little bit more) of holiday eating:
The year I got married, there were at least additional 2 engagement shower-parties thrown into the mix, and by the end of the year, I was so sick of eating out.
My husband has already declared that holidays should not be Whole 30 or restrictive, but I don't agree with that, especially, since this has essentially become a lifestyle change for me. My plan is to make the best choices possible, and whenever possible, have healthy or low-carb or keto side dishes. My concern is that I may just decide to "pitch it" and throw abandon to the wind. That happened a few years ago, and I gained back all the weight I had lost. Oh my no, I cannot let that happen again.
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!
Christmas will be the major challenge for me. We're always on the road visiting family. Road trips at Christmas always make me want to constantly snack / eat just to stave off the boredom / monotony of driving 20+ hours each way. Then when we visit various family members, they all have the best holiday food / snacks set out. Then we always have a few select restaurants that we miss the rest of the year, so try to hit each and every one during our stay.
but back to you, i do not think it's a good idea to throw abandon to the wind! no!!!!
if you eat in ways that you have practiced and that help you to feel good, why would you want to TOTALLY forget it for a long period of time.
even the holiday meals, you can try without taking seconds.
there are things we can do to make our choices less detrimental to the maintenance process.
I, for one, do not plan to gain weight back on a larger level at all this season...the struggle to getting it off is not fun...
however, even with a few indulgences and then eating our normal ways, we wouldn't gain much...so that's food for thought.
however, if you can enjoy those holiday meals and eat as you usually do all the other days, there will be no major catastrophe.
your husband's mindset, being so new to the "whole 30", is so different than yours which is a lifestyle change.
EVENING UPDATE: Today, I had just had it with the back-stabbing in my office, so I took out the mail and just kept on walking, walked around the block to clear my head. It really helped bring my mind to a joyful place, to be outside in the morning, walking.
I still feel like I am eating too much during the day. I know that part of this is because I am struggling to drink water like I did in the leaner, summer months. I can do this with more focus; but, this week, it's been easier to reach for another snack than it is to drink. PLUS, I am having some bathroom issues that need to resolve themselves soon. That could be part of what is causing discomfort.
Queen Bee will be out of the office for most of the day tomorrow, doing marketing at real estate offices. PRO: the office will be so much quieter without her around. CON: she's taking The Girl who Makes a Million Mistakes with her, so I'll be the one answering phones, which makes it harder to get my own work done. However, if I don't have much work to do, then it's OK because it will keep me busy.
Last thing tonight, I am happy Donkey tonight because The Great British Baking Show has uploaded a new season on Netflix, and I watched episode 1 with my daughter. I look forward to watching the show with her.... and fantasizing over the food, LOL.
I ended up eating a lot more than I had planned yesterday. Queen Bee made an announcement that the little fridge in our upstairs office would be cleaned out at 5pm, so I had to move my food to the large refrigerator downstairs, and making re-arrangements with what I ate. I ended up eating 2 cheese sticks and no cottage cheese. And, unrelated, I ended up eating the entire can of garbanzo beans - it was so yummy! But way too many carbs. I also ate the banana - which upon peeling, decided it was a LARGE banana, not a MEDIUM one - AND ALL of the grapes - again, way too many carbs and sugars.
So with all this extra eating, I hoped I would have more energy for my morning bike-ride, but alas, I still found myself having to push myself a little bit. The performance was there, but the motivation was a little weak. Still, got the job done.
Adjusted my evening de-stressing bike ride so that I accomplish my goals. I think a 25 minute ride does the trick, and it's just long enough to get in most any episode of Golden Girls or any other sitcom or game show.
I am hoping to schedule the closing for a couple of really troublesome files today. Also, next Tuesday, I will be home all day because I am taking an online state-required continuing education class for one of the licenses I hold. Thanks to WiFi, I plan to view this seminar and still walk on the treadmill or ride my bike or chill out in my bedroom. It's from 9am to 6pm. Can you imagine sitting the whole time??? YIKES.
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!
End up having continuing-ed every couple years for my job and it's always mind-numbingly boring. Used to have to sit through the real in-person class with 20-30 others. Couldn't believe some of the questions asked by some of the people. These were very basic concepts that should've been learned prior to even obtaining a license. Some of the questions they asked made me wonder how exactly they were supposedly doing their jobs at all. Thankfully now everything's transitioned to on-line and I can sit there in my jammies.....
Now it's either live webinar or self-study. If you do the webinar, like I've signed up for,there's no final exam. I did the self-study last year because it was cheaper (and because I ran out of time to attend a webinar) and I was ready to pull my hair out. An 8 hour class took me over 16 hours to complete. And then I had to take the final exam! NOT THIS YEAR!
Like you, i'm having many experiences at my office lately where i can hardly believe the words / ideas / opinions / crap coming out of coworkers' mouths...
FOR INSTANCE, there's a nice woman a work with. She's opinionated but her opinions, after you remove her tone of voice she says them in because she DOES speak with confidence so she could easily fool you to thinking what she says is a "majority" opinion...she's in the minority comparatively in politics of NYC. i'll write more later, but, let me leave it with this: She is first generation Italian born here. She's 45 - so similar to you. and grew up here her whole life. Her parents both from from Italy countryside...
Well, I made a comment about Columbus Day perhaps being a "white man's initiated holiday" saying that those were the people in the Colonies at the time...just saying WHO was here...
and she said, bc she does like to say the complete opposite, without even realizing what she's saying, but this time she had thought about this statement...
She said, in response to COlumbus Day and Thanksgiving (which is not a white holiday, i corrected myself - at that point slaves were being freed and african americans were able to celebrate it too - initiated by President Lincoln who African Americans credit for helping greatly with freeing them)
OK, HER COMMENT (she's ITALIAN!) - "I AM NOT WHITE."
I googled it, and considered it...
Her comment is so old, so NOT a current statement it really turns my stomach to hear her say that....BECAUSE...
JEWS, like myself, were once also thought not to be White.
but now, European Descent is considered WHITE!
Is Italy not in EUROPE!
so....there you go.
there's my coworker.
she literally feels she's not part of any group...tho she does identify with Christianity and feels her pastor would never guide people to support any candidate?
when i went to temple, they did mention politics.
is she sleeping during her Church services? i find it hard to believe that the church would not help unify and guide it's participants toward certain causes / politicians. in fact, i can't even consider it not to be the case! __________________________________________
About all your carbs with the beans and fruit, at least they are natural and healthy. this is an important thing to realize. maybe the servings too much, but way better than other options of indulgent eating...
i hope you plan something nice to eat / relax to some tv or something small anything small...on the day you are home :) maybe an extra decaf coffee ;)
i hope you have a great day. keep your head up. some people are just "crazy and deranged" haha. jk.
While I feel better today, if not a bit sleepy, I have no motivation to go to work this morning. None whatsoever. So I thought I'd log in while I wait for my raw broccoli to dry off a bit after cleaning.
I went to bed early last night -- 8:15pm? But husband was watching TV, so that kept interrupting my sleep.
On Saturday, I bought some nice treats for the work week: Fage Greek yogurt (plain) 5% milkfat, cottage cheese 4% milkfat, more cheese sticks, and a small flavored creamer for those afternoons that are difficult. Yesterday, I had the yogurt for lunch. Today, I am taking some of the cottage cheese. I still have 2 cheese sticks at work, so I'll keep my pack at work until I'm out. And the creamer is coming with me today.
Here's a look at my food menu today:
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!
How is the collagen working out for you?
Lunch sounds great, great idea with the squash and beans!
great eats!!!!!!!!
Also, for the same reason above, I am not going to buy any more hair/skin/nails gummy vitamins any more either. After about a year of buying these, again, no improvement in hair or nails. I think my nail problems are seasonal: in the winter they peel and chip so easily. My hair... well, I think I need something stronger. Going to discuss options when I meet with my new PCP in January.
The back of my heel was hurting yesterday, and I think it's from walking around too much in the wrong shoe. Wearing gym shoes for the remainder of the day yesterday and for most of today has helped. I will do anything to avoid getting injured like that.
Yesterday was difficult all the way around. This morning I woke up congested, so that explains why I was feeling out of sorts. I got some zinc supplements to help stave off getting any sicker. Last winter, my boss introduced me to zinc nasal swabs, which I think made a huge difference.
I rode my bike earlier this afternoon, so I'm looking forward to going to bed EARLY tonight. For some very odd reason, I woke up last night at 12:46a sweating. Sometimes that happens if I have a large dinner (or a binge), but none of that happened. Maybe that's all part of getting sick?
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!
"Day One or One Day - You decide."
I am not happy with my current plan. I realized this last night, and I think a lot of it has to do with the menus being posted on this site. I want to thank you all who do take the time to lay out what you eat, because it made me notice that my current plan is perhaps too restrictive. Don't get me wrong - low carb/keto works for the numbers. But I feel like maybe I'm missing out, or find myself wishing I had more flexibility in choices. Unlike Grains, I don't feel bored; I feel resentment. Anger. Hate. <<< Who needs THAT in their life?
As I am looking at 2019 as the Year of Remodeling, I need some changes. I've already made one. As you know, I often ride the fancy bike in the evenings to releave stress. It's a programmable bike, I can track my workouts on my phone, fancy schmancy blah blah blah -- Anyway, rather than going for "calories burned" (which probably isn't all that accurate), starting on Sunday, for the new week, my goals will be time-based. I really only need 20 minutes to crank it out and releave the day's stress and stiffness in my body, and not the previous 200-300 calorie goals I've been doing. This will free up more time in my evenings for other activites or going to bed early. This is a healthier approach for me, mentally & physically, but I'll re-evaluate and re-adjust as needed.
I decided on this after spending nearly 2 hours (!) trying to reach a 300 calories-burned goal. Ridiculous!
Yesterday was Mom's birthday (70 years), so I called her up to wish her a happy birthday. As you may recall, she's lost a lot of weight and kept it off, for many years. IDK how long, but the kids were in grade school still, and now they're adults, so it's been a while. In the course of our conversation, she told me that she's gained 20 pounds and is starting to work on that, before it gets out of hand. WHAT??? She didn't seem heavier when we visited in October... But she says it's either make changes now or buy new clothes, and she isn't going to buy new clothes!
So we talked about fresh produce and eating healthy, etc., and moved on. But I have to confess to you, fellow DD'ers, that this really hit me like a brick. It really is a never-ending battle, is it? There is no "before" and "after", because once you get to "after", it can still be a struggle to stay in After-land.
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!
This time will be different for me (although I've said that before). I've finally accepted the fact that if I want to remain at a certain weight, it will require continued effort. Daily at first, but hopefully weekly / monthly monitoring as I get used to maintaining.
And my emotions concerning this process are wide and varied. Sometimes bored, sometimes bitter, sometimes worn-out, sometimes ticked off. Weight, scales, fat percentage, carbs, calories, protein, etc - all of these things occupy way too much of my mental time.
And it might just be a seasonal blahs thing too.
Logging in from work on my phone, which I hate doing, but today is such a struggle against food. Maybe it's the snow and or colder weather... maybe it's genuine hunger.
The struggle is real.
Progress as of today: 62.5 lbs lost so far, only -12.5 lbs to go!
So I woke up today with that "excited that it's Friday" feeling... only to realize soon afterwards that today is Thursday. Usually this means it's going to be a very long day...
My husband is at the VA hospital today, for more evaluations, for most of the day, so he should have some good stories at dinner. Last night, he made shepherd's pie with sweet potatoes instead of mashed potatoes. I'm glad he made it because this was probably going to be one of our holiday meals. While I'm so thankful that he made dinner, I was not a fan of the sweet potato substitution. I think that the dish would have done much better with the cauliflower "pseudo mashed potato" thing... The bright side is because it wasn't a favorite, I didn't eat as much nor did I feel tempted at all to eat a lot of it.
I think I may be on to something there...
I mentioned something about trying to do some keto bakinig -- how this is my intention every weekend for the past 3 weeks -- and that got a very positive reaction. I would really like to make the gingerbread, but I might do the keto brownies first, since it's easier. My thinking is that easy baking will lead to enthusiasm for a more challenging recipe. (And honestly, the gingerbread recipe isn't all THAT more complicated. It just has more ingredients, which is what makes for a little more work.)
I'm actually starting to look forward to the collegan supplement in my morning coffee. It makes it a little more foamy than just straight creamer. However, I have not seen ANY improvement in my hair or nails. Winter reaks havoc on my nails - they split, peel, and don't grow very quickly. The collegan has not done anything to change that. Neither have the "hair/skin/nails" gummy vitamins I've been taking for quite some time. I recently ran out of those, and I'm not sure it's worth buying more of that either! As Happy (I think) suggested, I'd probably be better served by bone broth, which will be nice during the winter, at least.
Progress as of today: 62.5 lbs lost so far, only -12.5 lbs to go!
the meal he made sounds good...healthier of course with cauli mash! ....which reminds me, i want to make my own cauli mash!
if you want a good keto brownie recipe, the 4 ingredient ones that i made with coconut oil were the best ones and everyone at work liked them!
Bone broth is the BEST way to get collagen and great for slow cookers / crockpots. i ALSO want to make this a couple times in Winter. maybe freezing the broth in ice cube form...! to have it throughout winter as i like to!
also, your nails, will prob take some time to improve...not overnight!
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I remember "thinking " I was fat in 11th grade...lost a few pounds...and was too thin for years........I wasn't FAT...I was normal...but to teenagers who are going through all kinds of changes....their body image is pretty confusing. I can say for sure..that I never want to be stick thin again......women are supposed to have curves, womens fat distribution is different from mens and that is no mistake....viva la difference!
Ironically, at age 12, at this weight and height, I struggled to fit into a size 7. Now, my pants are size 8 (and stretchy, because of my back issues, I can't have a ridged waist-band), and they fit fine. I thought about your comment and my comment, and why on earth am I using clothing sizes to gauge anything? We all know that vanity sizing
... lies to us.
(My computer or DD is acting up... sorry for the disjointed response.)
horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2018:
I'm sure your body has changed a lot, hips-wise and all, since 7th grade...even if you were totally developed then, i am sure you have changed a bit.
also, for sure, your metabolism is prob slower than it used to be...
also, your muscle mass will be different i'm guessing.