I'm coming clean here....
I have slacked off on addressing my eating issues this past week, and it shows on the scale. But scale aside, I can feel it too. My body aches, my sleep is off, my mood is not so great...
I am not taking advantage of October like I wanted to. So that is what this week is dedicated to: Getting back on track with the food.
I'm also trying a new weight lifting routine, to see how it goes. Not necessarily new exercises but working muscle groups on different days, 4 days a week. Still trying to walk 5 days a week.
My husband is going to the night shift in a couple of days, which will change my entire routine. This would not have been my first choice, but this means promotion and more money coming in. Although the money is the bottom line, it's the promotion that was the reason.
It'll be interesting to see where he sleeps during the day, because I spend a lot of time in our room, which has the master bath as well. I shower after my workouts. I can no longer do early morning workouts (before husband gets home) because my son gets off to school so early. So I go after the kids are off to school -- and most days, after my walk.
But if my husband is sleeping, then ... I would essentially have to move everything to the kids' bathroom. or shower at the gym (yuck). Besides, I fold laundry in our room, I knit in our room, I relax and watch TV in our room ---- all of that will be changing. :-( I would like him to sleep in our son's room, quite frankly.
We'll see how it works. The kids have a 4 day weekend coming up. Just in time to be home and be very quiet all day, right? Ugh...
Try not to stress eat after all of that.
Progress as of today: 32 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!
Happy October....
My weight is up but I'm OK with that. I'm really looking forward to this month.
My weight is up but I've stopped binge eating, for the most part. I've had a couple of emotional eating episodes, where I caught myself eating for reasons other than hunger --- and associated with negative feelings. That is to say, it's not like I"m catching myself having a piece of birthday cake at a party. No, it's more like I find myself anxious and eating extra cookies. Or feeling worthless and having a dish of ice cream.
So it's progress, but there's still a ways to go.
This is the month that I should start seeing visable changes in my body (upper body) with the weight training. I HOPE!!! I think THIS is what I am really anticipating more than anything else on the diet/exercise spectrum.
!!!!!
This month I continue to improve myself. I hope to start some new knitting projects. I want to start another blog and set up a Facebook page for myself. I may take a tutorial in Power Point too, at the public library.
I am also very excited to start a new endeavor by becoming an "English as a Second Language" instructor. My classes to begin this certification process start this month, towards the latter half. I'm not so sure I want to be a classroom instructor, but I'd love to work with a small group or 1-on-1 (1-on-2), to work on conversational and practical English language applications. (e.g. "How are you today?" "What is for lunch?")
My kids have quite a few activities this month too that I am really looking forward to. There are many, but 2 of the highlights are:
1. My son's first band concert!!! (He plays clarinet)
2. My kids testing for their black belts in Tae Kwon Do!!! (no more TKD - yay!!!)
And let us not forget anything and everything about HALLOWEEN!!! Can't wait to carve pumpkins, even if it means dealing with the temptation of roasted pumpkin seeds.
Progress as of today: 35 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
kudos to you on feeling better. i'm all about the gym too, loving the weights!
Don't be fooled by the number in the "Current Weight" box.
Starting up the weight training again. Trying to pick up the pieces and move forward.
Knitting is going well. I'm working on a poncho for my daughter and trying to master a decent mitten, which eventually I plan on making for my son.
Progress as of today: 37.5 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!
Up and down, up and down, up and down.....
I am tired. I am sore. My back hurts. I have cramps. I feel anxious. I feel sad. I feel worn down.
Progress as of today: 35 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CFvEi4fdXA&feature=related
Keep on pushing or nursing your back if you have to. If you're like me, you've tried pelvic tilts--for me they actually work when I'm having spasms/pain--I just loathe them as an exercise.
Also, when you get to a point of no pain, you've been cleared by the doctor that nothing serious is happening with it, start doing some deadlifts--I swear by them to keep those muscles strong and prevent possible relapsing.
Keep your chin up!
I am not sure of what I weigh, as I have not weighed in the past 2 days. Which is probably just as well.
My back has been feeling somewhat better. The jabs of pain are not quite as frequent. Yet, I am reminded quite often of how I still need to be careful. I almost tried running this morning, but decided not to tempt fate.
Perhaps it is not meant to be.
I have been walking every day except Garbage Day Pick-Up Day (for the obvious reason). And then I go to the gym later and do the bike and/or the elliptical. I don't know how long I will be able to sustain the walking, with the colder weather approaching the Chicago area.
I try to keep busy during my days as well. I have yardwork to do that keeps getting put off, for one reason or another. I am knitting a lot these days too. I am not knitting anything specific, but rather, trying different patterns of stitches to make sample swatches. I am thinking that perhaps I could piece these swatches together and make a tote bag for my knitting supplies :-)
I have not tried to apply at any further places of employment right now. This pains me greatly, but for right now, this is not a battle I can engage in.
Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
So my doctor put me on 10 mg celexa. It usually works fully at maximum better after 4 weeks but i think i am already feeling a difference since Thursday morning. I hope it's not the placebo effect, and that it's the pill that i'm paying for. it's not perfect though, and i think I will need a slightly higher dose, 20 mg in the end. I get far less anxious and i start to block the anxiety now, before it continues. Like i start to feel it, and then it subsides. I will admit i took 20mg this saturday morning, as weekends are tougher and i have a special dinner to attend tonight. (i promise not to become a drug addict, lol). i should probably have not done that, but it's only 20mg, and that is the "lowest therapeutic dose." I'll probably contact the doctor after a month and have him raise the prescription to 20mg. I wish i didn't have to wait so long to do that...
No weigh-in today. After yesterday's salty dinner and chocolate cake, why tempt fate like that? Looking forward to another day of balance.
AFTERNOON EDIT:
Went for a long bike ride this afternoon by myself. I don't like the long shadows of autumn.
I have done well with my eating, in spite of negative feelings approaching. Instead of having a whole piece of chocolate cake after lunch, I just finished my daughter's piece instead.
I hope to go for a short walk after dinner. And then I would like to knit until bedtime.
Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
Just checking in for the evening. What a day...
I was a Wedding Hostess at my church today. This is a volunteer activity that gives me immense joy. I love to help make people's wedding days as happy and stress free and beautiful as possible.
However, I was told beforehand that this would be an Irish wedding. (?) So I was anticipating a large wedding, steeped in tradition. There was absolutely NOTHING Irish about the wedding. 15 people at the most (bridal party AND guests, total). And apparently, they were already married (civilly?), so this wasn't even really a REAL wedding. There was no license to sign because they had already done so somewhere else.
A woman who testified at my hearing was passing through the church (to a different activity, I guess, down in the basement). She seemed surprised to see me there and stared at me as she walked by. I just stared right back at her, keeping a pleasant smile on my face in front of the bridal party. I mean, like what? You think I don't go to church? Or that because I was charged and pled no contest that I'm automatically guilty and thus a bad person? Or are you surprised that you and I go to the SAME church? And that I'm actually a LOT MORE like you than you care to admit? What?
(I was not surprised because I knew that we go to the same church. I've seen her at Mass several times, but apparently, she has been unaware of my presence. I long for the day when I can shake her hand and bid her peace. ("Peace be with you")).
Anyway, I had decided ahead of time that I would "celebrate" this wedding with a fancy cake from the bakery. I bought a delicious chocolate cake. I had a piece for dinner and then I went for a walk, even though it was starting to get dark.
I had not exercised today, my back had been spasming at the wedding, and I had the chocolate cake. I decided that it would be good to try to get in a walk. I am so glad that I did.
I may be handicapped by my back or by my criminal conviction, but I am free and able to walk. So I will.
Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
Ohhhh I messed up my back today something baaaaad....
I decided to try to get back into running again, to help me feel ... better? more confident? significant?
I had fully intended on doing a short session of run/walk intervals. I did a little stretching beforehand, and as I was doing one of the stretches, I thought, "Gee, I hope this one doesn't hurt my back."
Headed out the front door with a light jog and the pain started up right away. Not a 9 or a 10 but enough to compromise my form. I thought, "I hope I don't look funny in front of the neighbors" because I FELT funny, like I was not straight up and down.
Long story short, I ended up doing less and less running until I realized that I can no longer run with my disc as it is. So I just kept walking, which was OK in its own way, but different. It's just not the same.
Truth be told, I'm frustrated, angry, sad... mostly sad that this is no longer an option for me. I'm getting it checked by the doctor, but even if this is something I can "fix" (I've had back problems for nearly 20 years), I don't know if I will want to jeopardize it with running. Even the elliptical is getting to be somewhat painful as well.
I can see that I am going to have to change my approach to exercise and weight loss.
Progress as of today: 35.5 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!
i hope you feel better soon emotionally. i miss your more positive attitude. perhaps once the kids are in school for a little bit you will begin to feel better. awww, let this weekend bring you some peace and comfort. :)
Walking for up to three hours two or 3 times/day was invaluable in the long run. If nothing else it became a perfect distraction. I put on headphones and went--and did not question anything while I was out there--a great escape! I didn't know what effect it would have over the months, but it did the trick. (The prescription NSAIDs helped as well.)
Hope you're having a good afternoon!
Overwhelmed with unidentifiable sadness today. Started last night.
I did fairly well with eating until around 10:30p. I should have gone to bed. On a normal day, I WOULD have been in bed. But my husband has been going to bed super-duper early to go into work early (3am). So I don't go to bed until I am exhausted, because I toss and turn a lot trying to fall asleep.
So I was doing really well until around 10:30p. Then I finished off the watermelon, 4 cups of it, easily. Might have been less, but I doubt it.
I'm not sure what to do. I just have to keep trying to get through each day as it comes.
Progress as of today: 34.5 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!
cheers
Weight is still up. I know I should not weigh in every day.
I did fine yesterday until after I came home from Curriculum Night at my daughter's school. I have such problems with anything related to the schools. Even though it was fairly positive and I felt positive after it was over.... I still succumbed to frosted mini-wheats cereal and quite a few pretzels (and more, but I won't go into it) as I was trying to "come down" before going to bed.
Anyway, today is a new day.
AFTERNOON EDIT:
I wonder if I am on to something... I have been having back problems, right? So I have started wearing a truss or girdle or back wrap brace thingy -- kind of like what weight lifters wear, but specifically for back problems -- whatever you want to call it for several hours a day and it has really helped.
I noticed that when I wear this thing, I eat MUCH LESS. I cannot even FATHOM bingeing while wearing my back brace. I had a rather light lunch, and even that "sat heavy" in my tummy for most of the afternoon.
I think I will start to wear my brace around 4p, to take me through dinner and afterwards, until I am ready to get ready for bed. Or, if I'm having a really GOOD DAY, earlier.
So I wonder, if I was wearing a figure foundation undergarment, like, Spanx or that Dr. Rey body shaper, if that would act as a deterrant to bingeing as well. And, unlike my back wrap brace thingy, Spanx would help me to look more refined in clothing.
I dunno... something to consider, I think. Or have I been so out of it lately that I've gone totally off the deep end? Has Donkey finally lost it?
Progress as of today: 32 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!
Have a good evening!
but, i also hope you are not ashamed of how you look now. and if the back brace helps, by all means wear it!
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no need to be home and all quiet all day on a 4 day off vacation! why don't you and the kids pack up and go walking at a park or go do some other nature activity. DON'T stay home, unless you need the rest of course. you can rent a movie, if that's the case. have the kids hlep you do some work around the house? maybe have them help with laundry? or maybe that is not a possibility! haha.
as far as weight, whenever i gain as much as a couple pounds, my body feels it right away. bc, for me, a couple pounds can result from just a few days at hardcore binging. and then, that is a lot of new weight for the body to absorb at once! it was soooo difficult walking this sunday morning. i felt like i was YEARS beyond my age. but despite how i felt, i kept on for what i could and then walked again that evening. stastick at it, dont' stop. i am back to trying to get in more cardio...