Day 36: Intention: Today I strive for balance in my life. Mantra: Snap back to reality
Oh my goodness... not going to dwell on the past, but I hope that I never have another couple of weeks taking abuse from clients and agents like I've just finished. I think when that happens, I need to just step away - literally - whether it's going for a walk, going home, stop answering calls, something. I just have to cut it off at the source. I will not allow myself to be verbally abused any more.
To help re-center myself, I'm thinking of trying a new class at New Yoga Studio at 11am. It's called Slow Warm Yoga, coming off the heat that built up doing the Hot Yoga session at 9:30am.
I'm also considering signing up for another Tuesday night yoga series (the Yoga for Stress Relief). I think it will help me to have a weekly commitment.
I also wanted to start a 30-day yoga practice & diary (hand-written), but I missed November 1st because of all the STUPID CRAP at work. I do not need a number on a calendar to start any 30-day journey, but just need to be in a right frame of mind. It would basically be working on a designated pose a day for about 5 minutes.
FOOD THOUGHTS
This has been the first week of winter-like weather, and wow, could I tell the shift in my eating. My willpower suffered, as I did partake a couple of nights with the Halloween cupcakes. I did not eat any Halloween candy, but did have dark chocolate (which is allowed on keto, but probably not in the quantities I was eating). I also have been drinking more coffee, which is not good. Some coffee is OK; too much coffee is not OK. Also, I pretty much ate a whole butternut squash throughout the week. Butternut squash is nutritious and packed with vitamins, but it's not keto.
So it seems that the shift from keto to low carb has happened all on its own.... I know that if I had the mental energy to stick to keto, that I could do that. There just doesn't seem to be anything left in me after work, kids, husband, house, weather...
IDK I feel quite a mess...
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
Day 35: Happy Halloween!
I did not have time to post this morning, as I had to prepare my house for trick-or-treaters (since it's hard for my husband to do this) and also shovel wet, heavy snow on the driveway. However, I ended up coming home at 2pm anyway because my husband wasn't answering texts or calls or gmails. My daughter was worried, so I drove home in a blazin' snow storm to make sure he was alright. He was/is. He had turned off his ringer, since he wasn't expecting our son to call, and then left his phone to charge in the basement while he took a nap upstairs.
So I got a nice little repreave, which was nice, after finishing up with 3 just awful, horrible clients. That, and I had very little to do at work.
Our new kitty Jack is settling in nicely. He is very friendly, but prefers to hide under the comforter (duvet). He's short-haired, very smooth and soft. I have not heard him meow or purr yet, but he's still getting used to everyone and everything, so that's fine.
My son is back in class, crisis resolved, but his graduation date has been pushed back AGAIN, now to February 13th. We are just relieved that he's OK.
I did not make it to Gentle Yoga Wednesday night. Got home just before 6pm again.
I have come to the realization that the 6pm yoga classes just aren't going to work for me right now -- we are still too busy. Things are just now starting to really slow down. Once my daughter gets her promotion at work, she will switch back to a 2nd shift schedule and not have dinner with us most if not all nights, THEN I might be able to go to yoga at 6p - provided that husband is willing to eat dinner at 7:30p. Or he could eat without me, of course, but then that would go against having a sacred dinner hour. And I think that's more important to me.
I still have yet to practice at home, although I went back and tried the fish pose that the Sunday class instructor did not guide or correct me on - and I did it correctly. (Thank you, You Tube!)
I think the new cat will like yoga. Binge-watching TV too...
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
Day 34:
My morning Me Time was consumed by doing things for others, so I hope to be able to update this post later this evening.
Self-Love Yoga has come to an end. Although there was meditation and affirmations, there was also a lot of challenging yoga moves. I can totally see how one could get some serious muscle traning from yoga - especially if one practices often.
I would love to go to Gentle Yoga tonight, but it starts at 6pm and that's so hard to get to from work, with the dinner hour and all. The New Yoga Studio is closed on Thursday for Halloween, and of course, the class I really want to try (Vinyasa) is only on Thursdays.
I will try to have the time to go tonight, BUT... tonigh we are getting our new family member, Jack the Black Cat. My husband wants me here for that, but perhaps it's better than I'm not? I'm sure that this will be difficult for Jack's owner.
Must get to work - it is snowing here for the first time of the winter season (even though we've got about a month to go until Fall ends), and the roads may be slippery!
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
Day 33:
Today I have a dentist appointment. I am fortunate enough to work within walking distance of the dentist's office, so I get a nice 10 minute walk, endure the dentist, and another nice 10 minute walk. I don't really enjoy going to the dentist, but I'm happy for the break from work.
Tonight is the last class of Self Love Yoga. I do not do well with endings. I am seriously thinking of signing up for the next series Stress Reducing Yoga (with the same teacher), which is great for going into the holidays, right? But then I realized that maybe I'm signing up to avoid saying good-bye. I hadn't considered that.
My daughter and I are still planning on going away in November for a mini-getaway. I keep saying I'm not ready for snow, but we're thinking of going up to Wisconsin to do some easy hiking. I'm sure by then, they will have snow that is sticking to the ground. I'm not so sure about this, but she says that she does want a break before she starts the retail holiday season. And I get that.
My son is still awaiting his fate. I texted him this morning, wishing him luck, and letting him know that whatever happens, he'll be OK.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
Day 32: Intention: Peace and serenity are mine. Mantra: Let go and let God.
Not really feeling that intention but rather, whatever today brings, I'll be OK. How do I know this? I've been knocked down so many times, but somehow, somewhere within in me, I know I've got the strength to pull myself up, even if it takes a while to recover.
I weighed in on Saturday, but did not speak of it. The scale was all over the place, from 133.5 down to 130.5. Then I got 3 consistent readings at 132.5, so that's what I went with. So lost a little weight, but I think that's because I haven't been doing any weight training for the past 2 weeks, trying to recover from my back problems, and then overall fatigue.
Which reminds me... I am ready for work ahead of time, so I wanted to do a little shoulder work with light weights.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
I love this. I feel the same way.
Day 32: Intention: I am brave. Mantra: I am not afraid to try new things.
I am quite proud of myself for going to a different class at the New Yoga Studio. I have 9 classes left that I've paid for, plus this Tuesday is my last Self-Love Yoga class.
I tried Yin Yoga. It was similar to Libary Yin Yoga, but it seemed to me that we held the positions longer than we do at the library. Also, the owner of the studio teaches this class, and her voice is not soothing but rather more instructive. It is the difference between being told a bedtime story to fall asleep and listing to an active storyteller. Also, this teacher uses props (yoga blocks, a yoga blanket, etc., and I prefer not to use these if at all possible. Oh well.... Finally, we did the fish pose, and I had forgotten what to do with my legs. The teacher did not correct, guide, or instruct. I guess she thought that we'll put ourselves in the position that we need to be. Well, OK, but I'm still learning and want to know - NEED to know - how to do the poses.
I was sorely tempted to say something to the teacher, "Why didn't you correct me?" but then I decided that I wasn't going to bring anything negative - complaining, blaming, etc. - to this class. As it turned out, I was OK with what I did with my legs - not correct, but a correct modification.
I thought for sure I was going to have hip problems or back problems after class, but amazingly, I did not. In fact, I felt as though I had been given a deep massage. That was nice.
So it was a very nice way to start a Sunday morning. I would like to try Yin Yoga with other teachers at the New Yoga Studio. Also, I think I'm ready to try something that moves a little faster.
The weather cleared up nicely today. I think Bear is getting all of the rain we had yesterday and last night. I was able to work in the yard a bit, setting up most of my butterfly garden for next year. We'll see what comes out of my efforts today. And I'm not completely finished. I might still have a weekend ahead in the near future where I can do a little more.
This week (Tuesday) we say good-bye to our most unpleasant client. As awful as she is to deal with, I'm so glad that she came into my life - temporary only - because she showed me exactly how I do not want to be. So when I catch myself sounding like her, or thinking negatively about a situation (see yoga story above), I remind myself that this is not who I want to be, and I quickly change my direction to stay on the path I want to take.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
It did feel good afterwards though, so it wasn't all lost. I'm having fun exploring the different types of teachers I encounter.
So far, Library Yin Yoga Lady is my favorite! I must find out her name (lol)!
Day 31: Intention: Today I devote to my home life: family, home, love, rest. Mantra: Enjoy the day.
After a horrendous work week, I am doing things that I enjoy, although going to the library isn't one of them, today at least.
I continue to work on completing my designated steps/stages for winterizing the yard. Our patio furniture is put away. Tonight the pumpkins are getting carved for Halloween on Thursday. My dear husband went to the store and bought me birdseed and corncobs (for the squirrels). Where I'm sitting right now, I'm enjoying the little birds discover the filled birdfeeder in front. I see some finches and chickadees. Very calming to me.
I have the corncobs on the back deck to amuse the cats. The squirrels will find them.
I'm expecting the rain to come soon, so tomorrow, when it stops raining, I'm planning to prepare my backyard butterfly garden for next Spring, and put up the backyard Christmas lights. I love Christmas lights. I have 3 strands in the house that light up year round: front entry way, staircase, and kitchen.
Speaking of Christmas, I found that listening to Christmas music at work this past week really helped change my frame of mind. I know, I know - it's really too early to start listening to Christmas music, but what's wrong with having Christmas in your heart a little early? And if music inspires that Christmas feeling - to be giving and kind to all - then, why not?
My 100-day challenge to the end of the year has gone terribly off-track. I think the problem was that there was no definitive end-goal. I have not been able to keep an intention or mantra except "Just Get Through This Day". I don't want to "just get through" -- I want to have a better existence.
So I'm thinking of doing 30 straight days of yoga and evaluating the result.
We still don't know what's going on with my son. He's been pulled out of his training class, so for now, he's free to spend his time as he wants. Ridiculous, but at least he's not being deployed. So I guess I should be thankful for that.
On the plus side, my daughter is soon to be promoted at work. This means her schedule will shift to 2nd shift, which I'm kind of sad about, but this is a fantastic move for her, if she likes it.
We will soon be getting an addition to the family. Long story short, due to a change in housing, a family can no longer keep their kitty, so we are getting him. His name is Jack and he is all black. He's 10 years old and rather shy, I've heard. I wonder if he likes yoga...
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
The cat will love to help you with yoga - climbing on you or trying to join in. LOL.
Day 30:
I was so busy at work that I didn't even have time to take a walk. I ate lunch at my desk, dealing with one email emergency after another.
I was supposed to go to Yin Yoga at the New Yoga Studio last night, with Mistakes Girl and Male Co-Worker. We were all too busy and too stressed from the workday to make it. Ironically, yoga probably would have helped us all feel better.
As it was, I walked into my home at 5:58p last night and Yin Yoga started at 6p.
Added on to this incredibly stressful work-week, Wednesday night, we received news from our son that something bad happened. I really had nowhere to turn with this, to talk about it. I did mention it to my boss, because I felt like this was really just too much to deal with, on top of all the work stress. He was sympathetic.
Logically, and in my heart, I know that what is meant to be will be. There's nothing I can do from here, and whatever happens today is not entirely in my son's control either. So we'll hope for the best resolution possible. He is alive and healthy and OK, and at the end of the day, that is what really matters.
Funny how derailed my 100-day challenge to better being has become. Who would have thought that October would be so stressful?
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 29: Intention: Today I put myself first. Mantra: (private)
Work continues to be a disaster. I'm STILL dealing with the fall-out from the afternoon I took off last week because I was sick. I keep thinking maybe I'm caught up, but each day seems to bring a new cyclone of drama.
Last night's Self-Love Yoga was wonderful. It was a different kind of yoga - Restorative Yoga. I'm so glad that the teacher (Becky - who I thought I wouldn't like, but I really do like her!) decided to incorporate this type of yoga, because I do not think I would have ever tried it on my own. You go into a position and hold it for about 5 minutes, just concentrating on breathing and relaxing. After each move, my body felt like it was waking up from a wonderful, deep sleep.
Next week is our last class. Her next series is "Yoga for Stress Reduction". I might sign up for that, but I must also start using my 10-class ticket. I want to practice yoga more - so why DON'T I - especially during the week, when my stress levels are the highest?
Male Co-Worker is looking into yoga, to help with anxiety and high blood pressure. I am recommending my studio to him, because it's very close to his home, very easy-going, and frankly, I want this studio to remain in business. So even though I'd rather be selfish and keep this little gem to myself --- and frankly, again, I would rather keep work people out of my real life --- the studio needs more attendance. Mistakes Girl says she's interested too... I might take her to the Disasterous Yoga Studio, because the first class is free. It would get me started there... Not sure.
I am going to try to get my daughter to go with me to some of these classes. I feel like if I had had the influence of yoga and stress reduction earlier on in my adult life, I would have been so much better off than where I am now. It might not work for her, but then again, it might start her on a wonderful journey of her own.
Work has been so stressful lately, that I'm going to listen to Christmas music at my desk. I think that will help.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 27 Addendum: Mindful Eating Workshop
I'm glad that I paid only $5 for the workshop. I met a nice group of ladies, including one who is in yoga teacher training (she was the youngest of the group). I also met another woman who is a retired yoga instructor (oldest of the group). We were a group of 5.
I feel like an hour was not really enough time to get into truly what Mindful Eating is or how to eat mindfully, like we just touched the surface. The instructor leads a 6-week series, and I feel like THAT is probably the better way towards behavior modification.
As far as practical advise, she recommended:
The book that she was trained with is Slow Down Diet by Marc David. I'm not in any hurry to check it out.
The one thing that I came away with from the workshop is how stressed out everyone is. I could have sworn that every one of those ladies, except the retired yoga teacher, worked for a law firm or a real estate company. None of them did, though, and yet, they were just as stressed out as me! I'm not alone!
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
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Good luck. I know you are struggling but I have faith you will achieve your goals.
Thank you - this means so much to me.
BearCountryGG on 11/02/2019:
Life just seems to take over sometimes.......sounds like yoga is suiting you really well.
100% on both accounts. Yoga helped, but things are still out of balance. It takes time for the pendulum to swing back.
happy-1 on 11/02/2019:
What on earth do they say to be verbally abusive????
That everyone knew what the buyer was asking for except for me. I said, everything I see, the attorney sees, and it was his call to make.
Well, then our office screwed up, "I won't be sending you any more contracts." OK by me. I'd rather not communicate with you EVER again.
happy-1 on 11/02/2019:
MMMMMM... cupcakes and chocolate... Oh my!
Oh I know - I had 2 more of them yesterday (Saturday) to finish up the package. Now, no more.... At least until the Thanksgiving pies start coming.