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Donkey - Tuesday Feb 19, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Getting back on track to what worked for me before.  Stepping back from being so focused on "keto" and doing what works for me -- which is still essentially keto (more keto than low carb/high fat, which apparently is something different).

Had a good lower body weight workout last night.  Debated on whether to have a piece of chocolate after dinner or after workout, but then realized that I didn't really need it, so I just got ready for bed.  I feel like I slept well - FitBit says I did, too - but I did wake up with a little "heavy leg" feeling, probably from the weights.  So I kept my morning bike ride long but lighter.  

My son was saying that when he went for his latest physical for his military re-entry that there were guys there that looked like they could snap bodies in half, but he still looks quite skinny (to himself).  Boy do I feel his pain!  And he HAS bulked up a quite a bit with the upper body on top, but to look at him you wouldn't think that he could do serious bodily harm -- know what I'm saying?  He's still long and lanky, even with the added upper body muscle he's managed to train into.  So this afternoon, if it's slow at work, I think I'll read up on how to eat for a leaner body.


Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2019:
I'm glad you are listening to your own body and also doing what works for YOU. You've been at the weightloss thing for awhile and you have a better idea of what works for you now than you used to! I also am still eager to try new things and not get too bored ;)

I'm very glad you are sticking with the weights. I do wake up with tired legs sometimes after doing lower body exercises the night before.

Well, as your son gets older, it will be increasingly easier to keep bulking :) he has to start somewhere, and, at least he's not a fatty ;) i know what you mean. he's up against guys that lift weights since they were in HS or were extremely athetic then which makes it easier for them now to gain in the msucle...i get you. they have prob been doing it much longer (even if his age, they have trained a little longer or had some extra weight / muscle to start with!)

I'd remind him of the progress he's made. and that anything is possible, but to not overtrain or try things that are too heavy too fast or it will just injure him.

i'd remind him that he can get to where he wants to be, by being consistent like you are! you're a great role model in this area for your son!

consistency is key :)

Horn_of_plenty on 02/20/2019:
Your son's experiences does slightly remind me of my own experience like when i went to the NYPD "agility test training." I thought i was good, but when put to their own standards (of which i had NOT trained properly for), i had a wake-up call of what exactly would be needed to be successful.

i'm not relating this experience to your son, as he HAS been training and he's a lot younger with more potential to grow stronger. two very different parts of life, your son and I.

I'm just saying that compared to my workplace, i look great and fit. but put with with a different population and all of a sudden i look weak or out of shape comparatively.!!!!!

most important is to not compare too much. to remember how far you have come. and try to go on your own journey at least somewhat!

Donkey on 02/20/2019:
My husband points out that being bigger, muscle-wise, isn't necessarily better. There are a lot of advantages to being quicker and agile that come with a trimmer figure, e.g. running faster.

I understand what you are saying about the comparisons though, and I completely agree.

Donkey - Monday Feb 18, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Had to shovel this morning, even though I heard someone go out last night to shovel around 10:30p.  Even though it is not above freezing here, the sun is out and is managing to start melting snow off the sidewalks and driveways, at least.  On my lunchtime walk, I started feeling more hopeful and optimistic.  (Almost) Looking forward to bowling with co-workers this Friday.  Looking forward to my/our getaway next weekend.  I must remember this, though, when it starts to snow again on Wednesday, especially since I have to drive to my doctor's appointment follow-up on the slick roads.

Wedding ring was tight this morning.  Definitely feeling bloated - and I do not think this is water retention.  I planned out my meals with LOTS of vegetables, and a grapefruit and stewed cranberries (sugar free - not too many of these).  Tonight is lower weights workout.

My son said the nicest thing to me last night: "I'm so sick of all this keto food!  Mom, you look fine!"  


Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2019:
awwwww, well, do not forget about all the keto food ;) some is just so good to keep on with, right? lol...i never got around to making my keto pb cups, YET!

Is the bowling during after work Friday or in the afternoon? that sounds fun!

i'm glad you got out to walk and that you continue thru winter. it's the only way and it's what we all do at work, too. It's very important to keep walking and take a moment out from your desk during the day!!!!

Donkey on 02/19/2019:
Bowling is after work. There is a regional realtor group, and our law firm was invited to participate (and pay $). I like to bowl, although I'm not very good at it. Bowling is something my husband can no longer do. That is something that we would do together occasionally.

legcramps on 02/19/2019:
Glad you are enjoying your walks!

Donkey on 02/19/2019:
I think it's the sunshine more than anything else ;)

Donkey - Sunday Feb 17, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

It is snowing yet again.  We are expecting 3-4 inches today.  It will snow on and off throughout most of the day.  It looks like it's lightening up a bit, so I am working up to getting out there.  

Just so you know that it ain't easy for me either, I did struggle again last night.  Sugar free chocolate I made with baker's chocolate, coconut oil, and Swerve.  

I made peach flavored gummies last night, and today I plan to make another full batch of stewed cranberries.  The cranberries often take the edge off of the sweets craving at the end of the day.  I am toying with makimg a keto chocolate cake, but I think with the way I've been struggling, I'd better hold off another week. 

I've also been struggling at work, so I decided that I need a mini-vacation from work.  My husband is looking into a bed-and-breakfast, and frankly, this whole process is stressing me out - LOL! 

I volunteered at the legal clinic on Saturday, and again - struggling.  Hard to find joy, short on patience.

Plans for today:  Shovel, read, make cranberries, fold laundry, make fathead dough batch, upper body weight training.

EVENING EDIT:  Struggled at lunch, after shoveling.  Finished off the sugar free chocolate - due to a stressful conversation with my husband.  Yes, completely stress eating.  I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING THIS.  However, afterward I had had the chocolate, and then a proper lunch (in that order), I actually felt full.  I don't often feel full after I eat.  Hmm...

I went out and shoveled again at around 2:30p, when it had finally stopped snowing.  It started up again this evening, though, and I could go back out there again to shovel if I was so inclined.  I am not, because I want to get in my upper body weights and then get ready for bed.

It's a little later right now, because I decided to make the cranberries after all.  That is the only thing I did not get done, and then I decided that I would like to have this as an available dessert after all.

My conversation with my husband was stressful and discouraging, but aftewards, I realized that everything will be OK, whether I stress about it or not.  So that helped me not stress about it any more.  

Tomorrow is a bank and mail holiday, so it should be fairly quiet.  Queen Bee is taking the day off (because it's a school holiday too).  Wednesday is my follow-up doctor's appointment at 3:15p.  I think I will try to leave work at 1pm if I can.  I want to see if it's being at work that's causing me to feel burned out, or if it's just this never-ending winter weather.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/17/2019:
regarding your comment below - i was going to hold back, but decided to just say it: even with ketosis, weight gain happens if calories in are higher than your calorie expenditure. and i feel that the keto diet does make it EASIER to go above calories as the food is still high in cals, just not carbs (aside from veggies)....

I am so sorry you got the snow again! holy cow!...i'll write more later, but i gotta tell you, I'm feeling like i want to just be home today too.

PS - i also made cranberries!!!! i have one more bag left in my freezer! If i see any at the store today or tomorrow, i might buy some more! they were so tasty all season. lately i enjoy them with full fat greek yogurt. so good.

the fathead dough - which recipe? can you send it or give me a link to that one?

oh and your sugar free chocolate recipe is similar to the one i saw for the reese's cups and interestingly, the chocolate chips i have that are made with stevia have an even simpler recipe, melting them, adding pb, and adding more melted choc on top. too simple i think to be great, so i'll use the recipe that includes coconut oil and some sweetener too.

today i'm light on plans, so yeah, it's been a nice day home - but i'm glad i have several low cal options here at home. ..like have a few chocolate chips (stevia) and other options rather than eat a whole thing of cookies. i have options = easier to follow thru. I understand how you feel. also the labor of the shoveling may induce some hunger!

Donkey on 02/17/2019:
Fathead dough recipe:


I usually add onion powder, garlic powder, Italian seasoning or oregano to the mixture, if I am making this savory. Maybe top with chia seeds, sesame seeds? I recently bought "Everything But The Bagel" seasoning - the toppings on those "everything bagels" - and that's delicious!

If I were making this sweet, I suppose you could add something like cinnamon.

I use this as flatbread -- only made pizza once. My daughter dips this in her hummus. I could see spreading cream cheese on this. Perhaps peanut butter if you made a sweet version.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/17/2019:
also a tip, it's winter and a hard season especially with your snow you have been getting, but it will end :) and Spring will come!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/17/2019:
I do not think it's work donkey! I think it's the weather.

Try to keep on with the job and to keep your life interesting to a degree outside work!

With the burnout feeling, try to keep your passions. like your cooking and preparing new and typical things you like :)

i think that everyone is a little fed up with the Winter season and i do feel that people are not as positive this time of year....

Donkey - Saturday Feb 16, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

This is not working.  Whatever I'm doing - it is not working.  I've gained beyond the parameter (limit) I set for myself for "winter weight".  My pants are starting to feel too tight and don't fit me properly.  Hormones and cravings were crazy this week.  Funny how I woke up on Friday and felt like I was starting to feel back to myself -- like a wearwolf turning back into a human, almost.  Hard to explain, I guess more like a tornado starting to dissolve back into a whiff of air, maybe.  

So here's looking ahead to a more normal week.  I can only hope that the scale follows suit.

I told myself that I would stick with the heavier weights through the end of February.  I'm committed to doing that, so that will not change for now.

I'm re-evaluating the keto thing. I did better on a low carb/healthy fat/lean protein diet than I'm doing on keto -- at least as far as numbers on the scale went.  I'm not ready to switch off of keto, but definitely doing some soul searching to see if this is the right thing for me.  Kind of along the lines of the self-discovery I made about intermittent fasting - if a cup of coffee with cream in it will keep me from eating longer, then USE IT as a tool -- who cares if it's not "technically" fasting.  

This whole week might just be a blip in the journey - hormones, miserable weather, bloating, work drama, my kids' futures -- in which case, it would be hasty to make changes right now.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/16/2019:
In a world as full of choices as ours in the USA with SO MANY options available, i'm 100% supportive of using a wide array of all the choices rather than be "only keto" or only one thing in general. Use all the tools available, all the things you've learned, to be your best.!!!

i am supportive of the intermittent fasting / prolonging breakfast ideas. yes.

use everything you learned to make things best for YOU!

Donkey on 02/17/2019:
The thing with keto is that it doesn't work if you're not in a ketosis. So eating high fat foods - even if they are healthy fats - will cause weight gain if I eat them with carbs.

Donkey - Thursday Feb 14, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Happy Valentine's Day!!  Trying hard to stay positive today.  My FitBit says that I got enough sleep but I am really feeling TIRED this morning.  I really must try much harder tonight to get to bed earlier.

My rings are tight this morning - so retaining water or gaining weight.  My dress pants for work are starting to feel too tight for my comfort level, but I have sensory issues... so it may be that either the pants are actually fitting the way they are supposed to (quite often the case with me) or it could be an underwear issue.  Or I'm gaining weight - LOL.

Just gotta keep where I'm at until Spring arrives.  Today is supposed to be a warmer day at 46F, so I hope to get in a nice walk at lunchtime.

AFTERNOON EDIT:  Breaking my rule again about logging in at work... because the boss has gone home early, and I have pretty much nothing to do. I will be leaving soon myself.

I've been craving sugar big-time today.  And I have upper body workout tonight - UGH. We'll see how the evening plays out - whatever happens, I truly do want to keep my food in check and get to bed early.  Both of those would be great Valentine's Day gifts to myself.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 02/14/2019:
I'm doing my best to stay positive too - what the heck, there must be something in the water ;)

Donkey on 02/16/2019:
What an awful week this has been. So glad to put it behind me.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
I think in Winter sleep is underrated. I've been feeling the same way as you and i think it's just because we do need more sleep this time of year, still.

Finally it's warmer by you! We also reached just around your temp today, but colder than that for most of the day (around 40F here).

I'm also working on maintaining till Spring. Like you, my goal is more to "lean up" thru developing more muscle / retaining my muscle / working on gaining strength!

Donkey on 02/14/2019:
It was nice today - felt like Spring. Tomorrow, it's back to freezing, over the weekend, until it snows again. Cruel!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
Happy Valentine's Day to you, too!

Some of my coworkers weren't in great moods today. Either due to memories of divorce or that the guy one is seeing hasn't been as loving as he has used to be...for once, i'm in a good position myself (actually semi dating someone). so, it's a nice change :)

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
i am not sure if this guy i'm seeing will last, but, it's been ok as it's been going. it's good to do something different and get to know him.

Donkey on 02/14/2019:
I wouldn't worry about anything in the long-term for now. This is a "live in the moment" relationship. It might be nice to say that you enjoy these outings, but I wouldn't even say something as pressured as "I look forward to these lunches"... or worse - "I look forward to OUR lunches". No, no, no...

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
ty for the advice, i'll mention that it's fun to do this as it's out of the ordinary and fun to look forward to with him! :)

also, with the chocolate / sugar craving you are mentioning, remember, a little taste can go a long way. meaning, a little taste (i tend to even buy single servings of truffles at a deli for like 50 cents, and have it with coffee). or the cooked cranberries do work with a keto chocolate and coffee, etc. try to listen to your body a little, it will probably help you out. just my advice based on past experiences going too long carb for my body...

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
oh, like you, i left at a good time (seems today is not a "work late" day in the united states if we can help it!!).

like you, the goal for me is for decent sleep :)

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
PS - we are both doing weights tonight :)

Donkey on 02/16/2019:
THIS helped me SO much - together!

horn_of_plenty on 02/15/2019:
how are you doing jdonk? busy lady ;)

Donkey - Wednesday Feb 13, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Thought I'd log in this morning from home, rather than try to get to work early - what for?  Feeling kind of down this morning, but that could be due to a number of things:

  • Possible low blood sugar
  • Tired - emotional, physical
  • Getting sick
  • Hormones
  • Some of the above
  • All of the above

I know I'll be OK, though, and can ride this out. 

I came to the realization Monday night that I need to work a plan that works for me.  I've been trying to get into this intermittent fasting thing, where I fast for 16 hours and then have a window of eating for 8 hours - in any given 24 hour period - but running into problems with needing a cup of coffee in the morning (with creamer) and artificial sweetener.  I've also been trying to follow keto rules, which have been conflicting with flavor packets that I put in my water. I've been trying to follow the suggestions for weight training, but not so happy with the number on the scale.

What brought me to the realization that I need to do what works for me is a video that someone posted on a keto Facebook page talking about how this doctor (Dr. Berg) sometimes has his morning coffee with cream in it to help him prolong his morning fast.  So that's not really fasting, but the point is that he has a little "something with substance" (i.e. the cream in his coffee) to help him not eat until later in the day.  THIS is what I was doing until I was lectured that this is not fasting.  True, this is not fasting, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have benefits.  Not only for myself but also for society as a whole, because if you know me, I MUST have my coffee in the morning or I cannot function in society as a productive member.  (Perhaps as a destructive or non-productive member of society --- and I kid you not: BAD THINGS happen when I do not or cannot have coffee in the morning!!!)

Last night I did my lower body workout, but left out a couple of exercises.  I just got to the point where I was tired, it was getting late, I wanted to get ready for bed -- I'm like, that's it, no more, I've done enough for today.  I *DO* like the alternate days of weights though.  It shortens the time for each session - LOL!  Can you tell that I just do not like weight training?  Oh dear... another miserable failure. 

This morning, in the natural daylight, I looked in the full-length mirror that we have -- I do this regularly to check on the status of my fat knees and upper inner-thigh fat that I HATE.  Knees and thighs show no improvement, but I noticed that my calves are getting little lines that define the muscles.  That's kind of cool!  Wish I could see that in my shoulder/bicep/tricep area.  Not seeing any ab action either.  Sometimes I see the lines on the side - the obliques?  But I'd like to see some of the six-pack muscles start to show themselves.  Not sure if that's possible with all the extra skin from 2 huge babies and protruding uterine fibroids in the lower abdomen.  *sigh*

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 02/13/2019:
You're having a down day - let it pass. I bet you'll feel better about things again soon enough. Believe me, we all have these days. Stop beating yourself down - you're doing the best you can - we all are - and that's absolutely NOTHING to be miserable about!

Also - you are NOT FAILING. You are SUCCEEDING at determining what's important to your health and your routine. This is how it's done!

horn_of_plenty on 02/13/2019:
yes, you have to find what works for you before anyone else can tell you what's best. That's why the world has so many people with different opinions and diet plans. That's why there's even such variation on keto plans. You do you! I agree how a little of something, especially your coffee which you LOVE, can help you further your keto plans!

I don't see how it's a failure to do part of the weights routine. it's just recently that you started adding weights in...you are still getting used to it - not even half the month has passed yet! KEEP ON!

I do exercises for my calves at each weights workout. Toe stands / raises. I do it at least 20 reps in a row, 3 sets...or i do what i can and what i feel like (# of reps varies) at my 3 sets.

I don't love my legs either. They aren't very muscular. However, they have improved overall especially over these past 2 years with increased walks home (this year) and increased lunge/squat routines (past 2 years). the difference is VERY noticable. same for my calves. BIG improvement from the time they shriveled up to nothing after a year of doing not too much due to the shin splints. it takes work to have these changes, but if you KEEP DOING the activity, changes will come there's no getting around it!!! :)

I also like a defined calf muscle look over that skinny calf look.

you have uterine fibroids? can it be taken care of?

next, anything is possible if you keep on you keep seeing more changes. your body will change as you continue your exercises.

SilverySparkles on 02/13/2019:
We do all react a little differntly. What works for you is what you should do.

Donkey - Tuesday Feb 12, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Breaking my own rule by logging in at work.  I think I'm getting a new computer relatively soon, so I'm not as bothered by the whole issue.  

Last night, I was still struggling with eating. Overdid it with "dessert" and now I have no more fat bombs left.  However, in thinking this through, I know what I did wrong and I know what I did right.

WRONG:  didn't have any fat/protein for my afternoon snack.  Came home starving for dinner.  This approach sets me up to be vulnerable.

RIGHT:  used fat to reach my point of satiety, which is exactly what to do on keto, in spite of the extra calories.  Seems weird, but it's how the science behind the diet works.

Found out that my son is leaving on Monday for boot camp.  This came about unexpectedly sooner than we all thought would happen.  Wow.  I think that's what just pushed me over the edge - once again - with desserts.  

Woke up today, though, not feeling wonderful -- I blame mostly hormones, but it might have been the fat too.  Did my cardio, and then went outside to shovel an inch of ice (with a dusting of snow) on the driveway.  I had to have my son's help, it was so heavy.  Now my back is killing me.  I do not know what we will do about snow removal next winter, if we are still here in Illinois, which I think we will be here for one more winter after we finish this one.  It is becoming much clearer to me now that we cannot manage this property for much longer.  I had a wonderful, honest talk with my daughter, and she has encouraged us to move as well.  She will not be as helpful to us in maintaining the property, which is because she has her own life to live, and I agree with that.  That is to say, I can ask her for help, and if she can, I'm sure she will, but this cannot be her main focus.  This only worked for my son because he had nothing else going on -- and that's not good for him either!

Time was short last night, so I only did an upper body weight training session. I will do lower body tonight.  Wednesday will be the night off, and then I will start up again with Thursday and Friday.  It was SO HARD to motivate myself to weight training, but I did it.  I'm sticking to this part of the experiment.... for now.



Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

SilverySparkles on 02/12/2019:
I don't think I could control myself around the fat bombs.

Donkey on 02/13/2019:
They are supposed to be a "sweet treat" to get you through a sugar craving. Usually, I'm able to stick to that, but lately,... that has not been the case. I had 92% chocolate last night. I'm holding off on making a new batch of bombs for now.

horn_of_plenty on 02/12/2019:
i ALWAYS log in at work...listen, work is more concerned that you don't visit OTHER sites...not really concerned if we are on this one ;)

Donkey on 02/13/2019:
If I'm on this site, it's obvious that I'm not working. However, yesterday, I had nothing to do so I figured the boss would want to hear me typing, LOL...

horn_of_plenty on 02/12/2019:
i also overeat if vulnerable due to being overhungry!

sorry about the snow...that's nuts!

Donkey on 02/13/2019:
It was snowing again last night. I just about nearly gave up. I was relieved this morning to see that much of it stayed off the driveway - so I WON"T be shoveling. BUT the driveway looks like a sheet of ice. Great.

Donkey - Monday Feb 11, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Yesterday was just a bad day, and I did not cope well.

I follow 3 keto groups on Facebook.   They are all run by the same moderators.  One was keto focused, one was exercise, and one was fasting.  Yesterday afternoon, I got kicked out of all 3 because I liked a comment from someone who complained that posts about cheating are defeating and triggering.  I agree with that statement 100%.  But that got me kicked out (banned), because that's not being supportive?  

Right after this happened, we left to take my son to Chicago.  It was an icy mix with blowing snow.  I'm nervous enough driving towards the city even in good weather.

Got him settled, came home, and I guess the chaos of the day - mealtimes messed up due to "brunch", hormones, getting kicked out of 3 groups, saying good-bye to my son, and a conversation on the way back with husband about moving....

Anyway, it was too much, and I could not cope any more, and ate a lot to comfort myself.  I knew what I was doing and why, and I didnt care.  At least it was all keto friendly food, and afterwards, I was only full, not stuffed.

But definitely not my finest moment.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

SilverySparkles on 02/11/2019:
Sounds like you handled that well.

thinkpositive on 02/11/2019:
Hard to cope with that many things coming at you! Sounds like you did okay even with a lot of stress.

horn_of_plenty on 02/11/2019:
you can "apologize" to the group and ask to be re-admitted...i also find it annoying when the leaders are so offensive and get offended bc of a genuine comment. i have had this problem with a very small scale group twice on facebook (small groups where they don't want opinions, but just support - meaning i can "like things" and support things, but cannot have my own opinions).

don't take the internet personally. people on there tend to act mean when the computer is blocking you from actually seeing them in person.

at least today is a new day. not everyday is perfect :) i wish your son well!

Donkey on 02/12/2019:
Heck no - I found 3 other Facebook groups that are even better!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/11/2019:
i think you also did great Jdonkey!!!! you did good, maybe not as perfect as you'd have liked, but very well ;)

Donkey - Sunday Feb 10, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Difficult day....  Well, I'm just going to chalk it up to one of those days where I eat more.  

Today we are taking my son down to Chicago to start the processing again for him to re-enter the military.  The plan was that he would need to be at the recruiter's office (here in town) at noon and then down to Chicago.  Beforehand, my husband and I would take Son out for "brunch".  I hate brunch.  I'm sorry, I just am NOT a big hearty breakfast person.  

So I had a piece of lemon keto pound cake and was just chilling out, drinking coffee, when "noon" was rescheduled for 10am.  I wanted my son to have eaten well, because we thought he'd have his vocational test today - how stupid of me to realize that nothing gets done on a Sunday, despite what my husband kept insisting.  Turns out he doesn't really know what Son was doing today - just making stuff up, I guess.

We went out to eat and I could hardly eat anything I ordered because I was full from the pound cake.  It took me about 2 bites more to realize I was full and decided I wasn't going to eat any more.  (I ended up taking almost everything home.)  We drove to the recruiting office, only to have my son meet in the recruiter's car -- because he didn't have a key to the office (WHAT??!!) for maybe 5 minutes.  Ends up that we'll be taking Son down to Chicago to the hotel where the recruits are lodged the night before testing and maybe another physical - again, don't know because nobody has said anything to Son, and husband's just talking to play out any and every scenario.  SO FRUSTRATING.

I like a light breakfast, a light 2nd breakfast (LOL),  lunch with lots of vegetables and some protein, a snack of more vegetables or fruit with some fat or protein, and then dinner with vegetables, fat, and some protein.  That "big brunch breakfast" completely threw me off.  So I just got done having a salad and a couple of fat bombs.  IDK about dinner because we'll be driving him into Chicago about that time  Just hoping it will stop snowing before we have to hit the road.

I'm so done with winter.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/10/2019:
I also have problems with only eating veggies and i do not do it. I also get the jittery / dizzy feeling when not getting enough carbs/fat/protein balance. totally get you, in that comment in your previous entry to me!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/10/2019:
"Brunch" is just a term, you are still in charge and can make choices. And it seems you kinda did try to stick with what you like :)

Also, i like your day to day style! It's so similar to mine! (of eating!)

lastly, i think it's sorta stressful, emotional time (involving your son & the things that weren't explained well to him / you) and it's making you really want to stick to what you know, especially eating-wise.

SilverySparkles on 02/10/2019:
I really do like brunch. I see it as a good way to combine 2 meals and really only eat twice a day.

Donkey on 02/11/2019:
That's a good way to think about brunch. I love to eat, though. I guess that's why I like more lighter meals than a couple of large ones!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/10/2019:
Silvery's reason is also the reason I HATE brunch LOL....i prefer to eat ALL DAY too ;)

however, i cannot say i haven't LIKED many of the brunches i've eaten...LOL.

double edged sword!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/11/2019:
Remember, your son is young and more than your journey, it is his. try not to take all the nerves and anxiety from him onto yourself <3 <3 <3

Donkey - Saturday Feb 09, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Weight has stayed the same.  Actually, the first time I stepped on the scale, it showed "131.0" and I was so ... disheartened.  However, I weighed again 2 more times, and the numbers were at 130.0 - um, makes no sense, right?  How does that happen?

So towards the end of this week, I made an effort to cut back on what I eat, and I'm wondering if that's good or bad.  I do not have a blood monitor to measure blood sugar or ketones, nor do I use an app to track my intake.  These might be helpful, except that I do not want to be that focused on statistics or levels - because I tend to be very OCD and rigid when it comes to numbers.  Tracking isn't bad - it's bad for me, if that makes sense.  Eating less did not help with the number on the scale AT ALL.  And the numbers on my fancy scale - which measures fat % and muscle % - did not change either.  So it's not one of those "muscle weighs more than fat" things. I'm not gaining muscle mass or losing fat.

I'm kind of excited today as I have a few projects that I can do, if I can just get myself motivated to get started.  I have an incomplete curtain project that I can now complete.  I want to make a batch of fathead keto bread -- it ends up like being a savory flatbread good for dipping or just plain - and then I have 2 recipies for keto cakes (!!!!!).  One is chocolate and one is lemon pound cake.  I'm not sure which one I will make.  

My dear husband, because he stays home now and does most of our cooking, is making me a keto dish tonight called "Keto Reuben Slaw".  So it's like a Reuben sandwhich as a salad, with cabbage instead of sauerkraut.  Tomorrow he is making a "keto crustless crockpot pizza" since it will be just the 2 of us for dinner.

AND as an added bonus for the weekend, a book that I placed a hold on at the library has come in, so that means a trip to the library - woo hoo!!!  (I love going to the library!)

I've decided that this last batch of fat bombs will be it for a while.  I'm switching to having a piece of dark chocolate (85% or 92% cacao - so, very bitter) instead.  Last night, oh boy, I wanted to go downstairs and grab one of those giant chocolate bars and eat the whole thing.  I had 5 sugar-free hard candies instead and went to bed.  The struggle is real.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

SilverySparkles on 02/09/2019:
All of your recipes sound delish! My scales do the same thing. I have gotten pajamas on, got on the scales, went to bed, didn't eat or drink anything and gotten up in the morning and weighed more. It makes no sense. The way I figure it is that the scales are FICKLE! They are close, in the vacinity, nearby, but not exact. I'm sure they are within a couple of pounds, but possibly not 10 pounds. So I just go with it and figure they are close.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/09/2019:
I'm totally going to write more later to you! First, the recipes sound GREAT those keto ones your hubby will make. Just remember, include some veggies in your meals and try to emphasize less of the keto on the fat and meat. meaning, still, eat your veggies because those are the LOWEST CALORIES and most filling to eat with the keto foods if that makes sense.

I also want to mention that for me, cooked veggies are always more satisfying than raw although i know you like your raw veggies! and those are good too, just for me they are less satisfying. next, i'm glad you are into keto. this is what i like so much about keto eating, also. I find it very tasty, satisfying and filling for longer periods than carb-heavier dishes.

i love the library also. i may be going TWICE this weekend to attend free concerts. Being that i live in Queens, the library options are quite good when it comes to free performances! since i'm alone this weekend for the most part, i've decided to look into library offers which are particularly good as of late!

once you start having 1-2 pieces of dark chocolate as snacks often, you'll get used to them and stop wanting to binge on them.

when you get a taste that you are low on sugar and want a taste of something like a chocolate, my advice is to go for it. and follow it up with tea or something that fills your stomach.

lately at work i have a pretty private room i'm in and this week i was there often without my coworker/supervisor, so i was snacking almost too much as in it looks bad at the office that i'm constantly snacking.

yes, i do recommend you eat more. but not just more of anything.

try not to forget the veggies. the keto is good but it's easy to overindulge in cheese / fats / meats. remember that keto is awesome but it does fall in the end back to the basics: weight gain equals calories in versus calories out.

i do not believe in best times of day to eat. or what time is best for your last meal. or carbs only before evening. NO.

a retort to the above is just simply the advice that you should def eat to be full and to work it out is helpful. i was going to tell you what to do. but, i'll tell you what i do. I simply, usually, have one meal during the day that is indulgent in extra veggies. and it also includes carbs/protein and some fats. but it's heavy usually on veggies. this sometimes, usually, does cause me extra gas that i do not mind since it's a desk job and sitting i can deal with it.

the way i get around to eating so much, don't let my choices trick you. they are all laid out. the wraps i use almost always do not have more than 120 cals. this week they were only 60 cals for a wrap. half a smaller side avocado. some salt/pepper. mashed. and not even an egg (tho calories are low). this week i favored salami. and most of the time it was just 2 thin slices (like from boar's head brand). and to fill myself, i'd have tea or coffee after.

then only two hours later, i'm already onto a fat/protein snack....

i really try hard not to let my hunger continue for long. i like to feed into my hunger, inbetween drinking more at least at work (gotta work on getting in real water on weekends more).

next, most of my meals thru the morning hours at work at low volume. only by lunch which is usually 12:30 or 1pm, do i have the big meal. i use this meal to actually fill my stomach and it helps me feel more satisfied for the rest of the day.

i've noticed that when i don't have that bulky, veggie, kinda meal at lunch, the rest of the workday is not as enjoyable and that i have more cravings to eat and my stomach def feels emptier.

then after lunch, around 3, i may snack on a clementine. later at 4, an hour before i leave, i have around 100 cal of almonds.

sometimes depending on how many cals breakfast or lunch is, i'll throw in a couple chocolates of any sort really (no preference really, just saying that i am snacking a bit)

so i get to work at 8:30, breakfast is before 9am. i'm snacking again around 10:30-11. sometimes a small bite size chocolate (50 cal) even after breakfast.

lunch is at 1. higher volume is best here so i can feel the bulk and feel satisfied to go back to work. i try not to feel tired, but sometimes i do overeat and get to this point.

i may reach for a small fruit by 3. and then almonds at 4 or so.

as you can see, i'm not starving for any long period of time at work - so even if you fast, which i think is great, once you do start eating, you can schedule it so you aren't starving for any long amount of time after you start eating....

Donkey on 02/10/2019:
I've got to have some protein or fat, or my blood sugar levels get wonky and I feel very jittery. I can be STUFFED with vegetables and still feel very un-satiated because there wasn't something more substantial eaten at the same time.

Donkey on 02/10/2019:
That was hopeful, what you said about eating chocolate.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/09/2019:
that's right with Josie. she used to be thinner, actually.

but i think it gets harder and harder to be ripped and fasting, in my opinion. i think the more you challenge your body to fast, the harder it will become for your body to burn up the fat / harder to keep your metabolism up.

but you see the foods Josie eats, very not low cal. she's not at all a calorie counter. she likes her food savory and fatty. she eats a lot of calories.

so her body has nice curves and shape, yes, because she works out so she is definitely fit and has lots of muscle especialyl in her legs, compared to someone such as myself, because she is a higher fitness level (at least in her lower body) for sure.

however, she has meat on her bones. and i think she may be same or very similar age as you. but her job isn't fitness model or workout 2x a day. she has a desk job like us. and has her workouts she likes, like us.

but she doesn't count calories. she likes heavy meals.

so, just like us, it's give and take for what she likes. you can't be SKINNY or RIPPED and like to indulge in glamorous meals. and her's certainly are full of glam! :) essentially, her portions look big and her meals are indulgent.

remember, everything is in moderation. calories in vs. calories out. she may fast for long periods, but she eats higher cals at times than she is burning...

Donkey on 02/10/2019:
In the past, I have followed some amateur women body builders as the train and then prep for competitions. It's a formula, for each week that she's in prior to the contest/exhibition. So what she's eating 8 weeks before a show is not the same thing she's eating 2 weeks before the show. Love the lean look - I'm hoping to get a little more definition in my arms and abs. Some of that is genetic, too, I realize.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/09/2019:
i stand by my comment before that you replied to as saying weight training is cummulative. GREAT way to put it!

I'm going today to the gym. i will try to bring proper coconut water nutrition and just get good rest afterwards. I really hope i don't stay sick after last week!

i'm almost over it :)

weight training, as you do it and become more into it, i hope will become addicting for you as it is for me.

i know my body will not keep it's form and shape without continued weight training which is why it's hard for me to take the breaks.

after a week off just about, i'm so ready to start today :)

Maria7 on 02/09/2019:
Wishing you a happy day. I recently read some of your posts that you wrote years ago and enjoyed reading about your journey to your maintenance that you are at now.

Donkey on 02/10/2019:
I think the only time I do this is at the end of the year, to see where I've been. What I need in my life is a big plate of GRACE.

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