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Donkey - Sunday Feb 07, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 147.0

Good morning!  Bright and sunny and VERY cold outside.  I am keeping some of the curtains down, covering the windows, to help keep the house warmer. I will venture outside later on, to our backyard, which has a lot of snow, to refill one of the birdfeeders that rests on a pole. The pole has become frozen to the base, so I need a stepladder in order to reach the feeder part.  This should be an interesting adventure.

I did not walk on the treadmill yesterday, because it snowed again.  So shoveling instead of treadmill.  It was so cold out that my Fitbit stopped working for 8 minutes until I could get it warmed up again, once inside.  Also, I did not read yesterday either, and in this, I am disappointed in myself.  Oh well, moving on...

I feel that I did not do so well with eating less meat yesterday, although I did eat more vegetables.  No meat at lunch - had eggs as my protein source.  Snack was yogurt; I won't be buying more of that.  Dinner was shepherd's pie, which has ground beef and cheese.  My husband makes these HUGE portions, when it's really just the 2 of us.  Then we're stuck with all this food, and I'm stuck feeling obligated to eat it.  For example, last Sunday, he made a HUGE pot of chili.  There is STILL quite a bit of it left.  I know I could freeze the rest of it, but I still have frozen chili from the LAST batch that he made.  UGH!

I know that I am blessed to have food, and good food.  My complaint is with my worry of wasting food, especially meat. 

I did weights yesterday.  I have plans to walk on my treadmill when I am done posting here.  Chili for lunch.  Every year for the Superbowl, we've made "finger foods" for dinner and watched the game.  Not a single vegetable, but I'm planning on cutting up both a red and green pepper, to eat with hummus.  There's breaded mushrooms, and a cheese pizza for myself and a meat pizza (ugh) for the husband.  Daughter will probably want the cheese pizza when she comes home from work on break.

Progress as of today: 39.5 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 02/07/2021:
My husband makes a huge pot of dinner and that's good. It is so much work he wouldn't want to do that every night. And tastes just as good the next 5 or so nights.

Don't dismiss snow shoveling - it's exercise. I wish I had room for a treadmill. Having issues with my spin bike - can't get as hard a resistance as I had before. Hubby tried to fix and made some improvement.

Husband has been watching rugby. Not really a fan of American football.

Donkey on 02/08/2021:
I'm not a big sports fan, period. OK, maybe figure skating, but not so much any more. Tennis is OK. When I was working out at the gym, I even got into watching golf on TV - now that to me is is complete desperation. I'm not sure how that happened, but I started getting emotionally involved in the golf games I was watching, LOL...

Please read my comment to Bear above, regarding leftovers. I do agree that your husband has the right idea 100%.

grannyannie on 02/07/2021:
As for wasting food - we rarely throw out food. Husband thinks it's a mortal sin!

Donkey on 02/08/2021:
100% agree with that as well! And especially coffee, although that's not really for moral or environmental reasons as it is more about my caffeine addiction and the price of coffee.

horn_of_plenty on 02/07/2021:
I have been drinking “remarkable” amounts of water while at work too, seems to be good on my digestive system and keeping things going - and always has a nice effect on my skin :-)

About your Higher Power looking over you for you getting to go back to work early with little time to process = a good deal for sure. Def better to just push right back into work than to have it looming in your mind all weekend ...now going read another entry you wrote, from yesterday...

horn_of_plenty on 02/07/2021:
2.5 pounds is a big loss and some could be real and not just temp. Keep doing what you are doing ! :-)

Yup, a loss is a loss. No doubt about it! Life changes & work changes working in your favor on Friday regarding eating less.

Yes, you are beyond ready for the work you ate going back to. You are a seasoned pro. I have ALWAYS felt the looming and anxiety filled days after a holiday or vacation before returning to work and not knowing i would be ok and get thru it, but, eventually I most always did aside from the time I had a stomach virus during a district music festival and literally did not go - what a mess - when I was subbing as a band teacher I actually didn’t participate as I was feeling very very sick....other than that , even after whole summers off (which I am grateful for not having those types of extended vacations anymore as it was very hard to go back to work after them) it still always worked out. It always worked out, and it will for you ...

horn_of_plenty on 02/07/2021:
Regarding masking at work, I eat at my desk as we do not mask up in the office of 4 regulars and some that come 1x a week and they seem to wear masks when they come.... I wear a mask when. Heading to the busier office next door. You may decide to take some mask breaks at work or to just eat at your desk....

Donkey on 02/08/2021:
My desk is in the middle of the walkway, yep right out in the middle of everything and everyone walking by. It sucks.

I eat lunch at my desk when most folks are out, away, for lunch. I think I'm going to start eating in the small conference room, by myself. It is well lit and has a nice window.

horn_of_plenty on 02/07/2021:
I want to agree that having such a high cal cream in your coffee will hold you back and that’s why I now take my almond milk unsweetened to work. I feel I may have been able to lose a pound just by making this change and in my weight range, every pound lost is a huge step if you know what I mean!

Was talking to my boss and he knows bc I told him that I know a lot about food / nutrition/ calories from my own research.

If you ate say two Reece’s - the snack size portion - 220 cals a day for a year more than the calories you burn - so if you ate around 200 cals more than you burn everyday for a year, you gain 20 or so pounds at the end of the year.

Break it down - 50 cals extra per say per year is around 1/4 of 20 pounds - lost 5 pounds by removing 50 cals per day per year....if you get me.

horn_of_plenty on 02/07/2021:
So of the food your hubby makes, can’t you freeze it ?!

Also, I do not eat vegetarian either bc I never feel satisfied...same reasons as you. Doesn’t work for me with all my life eating meat and I also like meat but also that is the reason I feel meat Portions can be small bc they contain such high quality protein compared to what vegetarians eat ! :-)

Enjoy the rest of your day - it’s snowing here, too!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/07/2021:
i've never made breaded mushrooms...sounds so tasty...

Donkey on 02/08/2021:
Very tasty! But these mushrooms were rather tough. You had to put the whole thing in your mouth to chew up. I prefer fried mushrooms that take 2-3 bites to finish off. :-)

Donkey - Saturday Feb 06, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 147.0

 Good morning!  I love Saturday mornings!  It is nice and bright and sunny here - but oh so awfully COLD! 

I had a "good" weigh-in this morning, shedding 2.5 pounds of bloat.  I still feel the extra weight I'm carrying around, so there is still much work to be done.  I'm wondering if the "loss" this week is just a result of eating less yesterday - and not anything else, and thus, only temporarary.  I was so busy at work that I did not have time to eat too much.  This was a double-edged sword though, because I found it incredibly difficult to drink more water too.

Still, a loss is a loss, right?  And I should take it gratefully.  Definitely better than a gain.  And perhaps the loss is legitimate, as I have been waking up feeling hungry a few mornings this week.  

Returning to work:

I kept telling myself that if Horn could learn a new job in 3 weeks, I could surely survive a day at a job that I am already familiar with.

I ended up having breakfast at home, starting around 7:30am and ending around 8:15am   Earlier than I wanted to, but because I wear a mask at work, I can't really eat at my desk any more.  I avoided a morning snack, knowing that the family would be dropping off Chinese.  I started getting REALLY hungry around 11am - about the time I have a morning snack, when working - but lunch didn't arrive until after 12p.  I didn't eat a lot of lunch becasue I was so busy.  However, I did have yogurt at around 3:30p.  Tried to keep dinner on the lighter side (small ham & cheese sandwich) with a lot of vegetables (salad & spinach).

I did not walk at lunch at work. It's too cold, and with all the snow that we got recently, I could not be sure that the sidewalks would be safe.  I have 2 routes in mind to walk next week that I can walk at lunch, because it's side streets, and the traffic isn't too bad.  

I'm so glad that I went into work yesterday.  I reaquainted myself with the files, for the most part, nice to catch up with folks.  I'm ready for a busy Monday.  I'm really glad that Male Co-Worker pushed me to come back, because it wasn't going to get any easier.  Really struggled with the stress management - at one point, I felt like I was connected to an electrical shockwave up through my hair folicals on my head - seriously!  Didn't take much of a lunch break, or any break.  Yeah, not the ideal, but I'm hoping that I'll be on an even keal now, and can fit in better stress managing techniques in my day.

(I did bring home my yoga mat from work.  Doing yoga at work just isn't going to work, and I would rather have it here at home for stretching or floor work.  The odds of this happening are higher than doing the work yoga thing, unfortunately.)

I saw a blurb on some kind of news source last night about the benefits of having a more plant-based diet.  I've tried to go vegetarian so many times, with disasterous results.  So, like Bear, I'm just going to make an effort to add more vegetables and other non-meat/dairy products to a meal or snack.  I don't need a lot of meat, but I've found that I do need some.  My plan is to decrease my consumption - gradually, if necessary - of meat and dairy.  Meat will be easier to do than dairy.  I'll try this for a week and see where it takes me.

Also, I've been suspicious of this:  I think that having heavy whipping cream in my coffee is holding me back in my weigh-loss goals.  I switched to HWC when I was doing keto, and I can't go back to half-and-half or other creamers (e.g. Coffeemate).  The HWC is thicker - everything else now tastes watered down - and it seems to hold me better.  There are 50 calories per tablespoon; I finally measured out how much I've been putting in my coffee and it's just a little over a TBSP.  So I'm going to cut my portions on that per coffee cup.

And even though I drink a lot of water, I also drink 3-4 cups of coffee a day. I cannot drink it black.  I've tried adding coconut oil, other fats, to no avail.  IDK, this may just be something I may not be able to let go, but decreasing my portions is a start.

Goals for today:

  • My laundry (in progress)
  • Read
  • Upper body weights
  • 1 mile on the treadmill.
  • Trim cats' nails.


Progress as of today: 39.5 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 02/06/2021:
A loss is a loss. When I've been 'misbehaving' and then I'm very good with calories for a couple of days the scale tells me. But I don't question it.

I was vegan (6 months), then vegetarian (2 years?), the pescatarian (added fish) for about 9 years. When I was vegan (also quit sugar) I felt better than I ever have - energetic & healthy. But....I started missing eggs and cheese and milk chocolate, etc. 2006 I decided I was tired of having so few choices when I ate out and decided I'd add poulty. Uh huh. That lasted maybe 6 or 8 months. By the end of the year I was eating pork, beef, and British bacon.

grannyannie on 02/06/2021:
I don't drink milk any more - just soy, oat and coconut milks. But sometimes eat ice cream, milk chocolate etc.

Donkey on 02/07/2021:
No milk here either - just the heavy whipping cream for my coffee. I've been successful in cutting down my portions, from 3 spoons (a little over 1 TBSP) to 2 spoons (under 1 TBSP), so far, so I will maintain this.

There is a vegan alternative (Silk brand) to heavy cream. I want to try it to see if it works for my palate.

I love soy milk and oat milk. I haven't tried coconut milk.

Jacky82020 on 02/06/2021:
Glad work went ok.

So many diets! Whatever works is good.

Donkey on 02/07/2021:
Hoping that by focusing more on vegetables, it will help me consume less calories overall. This is going to be harder than I thought. Did not do so well last night, and kind of like what Legcramps mentioned - I'd totally start missing bacon.

Jacky82020 on 02/07/2021:
My focus has been vegetables for a while, but considering more protein drinks. Never much liked bacon. Don’t they make some healthier Turkey or vegan ones? Or do those taste crappy?

Donkey - Friday Feb 05, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 149.5

 Well,  here I am,  up early to get back into the old routine. 

The snow plow came by last night at 7:40p, so I went out to shovel last night,  rather than wait until this morning. This was a good call. 

We had plans to order Chinese takeout for lunch today,  so my family is going to bring me over something to eat, while I'm at work. That's so sweet of them to do that. 

I must be mindful and careful not to let my fear,  anxiety,  and dread, which I am feeling now, translate outwardly into crabbing & tension to others at work.  I do want to incorporate some of the things I gathered while soul-searching during my time off. Everything in its own time. 

Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/05/2021:
Friday would be the perfect type of day to head back to work...because the weekend comes right after it!!! amiright!?

i'm glad you will have just this friday, as like a pre-view to set up for your Monday...it's a good day, today, to get organized and see what needs to be done and have yourself perfectly organized for next week, i'm sure.

also nice is Chinese. you can be healthy with it.... ;) ....you can!

also a diet coke is nice after chinese! the sweet to counteract the salty...

you make me want chinese...but i will save my cash for now...i have so much food at home....i'm busy this month paying off extra credit card expenses (not usually something i need to do...) because i bought some used shoes/cardigans and now these socks for work amongst buying more food and also new things for my new guinea pig, etc...i'll catch up with my credit by March, no biggie ;)

but you enjoy the Chinese...i'm sure i'll have either Chinese or Thai in the next couple weeks or so too! <3

I'll comment about your previous entry when i read it, later today!...I'll make my comment here so you do not miss it.

Jacky82020 on 02/05/2021:
Hope your first day back ar work goes well, donkey, Have a positive feeling it will indeed! Nice about the Chinese food, sweet gesture.

grannyannie on 02/05/2021:
Enjoy your lunch!

Donkey - Thursday Feb 04, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 149.5

As Horn pointed out, today is already Thursday.  If I were at work, today would be greeted with much more anticipation than it is, knowing that my time off is soon coming to an end. I'm very grateful for this experience. I definitely learned a lot about myself, maybe what other folks are going through with self-isolation (because of this awful COVID), what I want in life, how I would use free time if given to me... 

We are anticipating another weather system - OK, let's just say it:  SNOW - starting around noon.  They are forecasting 5 more inches of snow, and then frigid, frigid temperatures coming in from Canada.  (Legcramps - I thought of you while watching the weather forecast last night!)  I went to fill up my car with gas, so that when I do return to work, and my car has to sit out all day, it will be OK, and it will have plenty of fuel to warm it up before I hit the road.

I thought about goals.  I have determined that I think what really works best for me, right now, is to have goals for the day, so that I don't just sit around doing nothing or watching TV, but not anything too long-term.  Yesterday, I got out my ankle weights and did some inner and outer thigh exercises.  Then, I did a 10-minute ab video on YouTube. I also did shoulder exercises, using 3 & 5 pound weights - have to be careful because of pain.   I'm not sure I did those ab exercises correctly because I am feeling no pain today. 

Today, I did quads and hamstrings weights.  I may do some more upper body, or perhaps a yoga flow, or maybe just some push-ups.  I guess I've reconciled myself that if I'm going to be larger than I would like to be, that it might as well be muscle instead of flab.

Dinner last night went reasonably well.  Measured out portions, BUT then there were a few leftover fries, and THOSE I *didn't* measure.  But it was less than 1/4 cup.  I have been drinking remarkable amounts of water.  With this I am pleased, and I can only hope that I can maintain this when I return to work.

Things to Do Today:

  • Mop main level 
  • Mop basement floor
  • Daughter's  Husband's laundry
  • Puzzle
  • Read 
  • Treadmill

EVENING EDIT:  I did OK at dinner, watching portions.  However, right now, I'm feeling very anxious - I'll explain - and I feel like diving into the sweets. However, once I am done posting here, I will shut down the kitchen and move away from the food. I have the sugar-free gummies and sugarless gum if I need a crutch.  Right now, I'm working on a cup of decaf coffee.

The reason for my anxiety is because I am going back to work tomorrow, rather than Monday - much sooner than I had anticipated.  I got a call around 3:30pm from Mistakes Girl, explaining that she will be out of the office tomorrow afternoon from 1pm to possibly the end of the day, translating for Associate Attorney (and he tends to draw out closings for the longest time possible).  So there will be nobody to work on my emails.  

Male Co-Worker said, it's either you come in or we have Nice Lady work on your files.  Well, that did it.  I don't want her working on my files.  She has her own way of doing things, which messes things up, and she doesn't link everything (emails, attachments, etc.) to the database.  So you have NO idea what she has done because there's no record of it, without going back and searching through eons of old emails.

It's probably better this way.  (Horn:  this is one of those moments where I feel like I've got an angel or higher power looking out for me.)  It would be much harder to come back on a Monday, which are very busy.  Fridays are usually quieter because everyone is at closings. 

And coming back wasn't going to get any easier.  This way, rather than having a whole weekend to think about it and binge eat, now I have only a couple of hours to process this, and I can manage the stress of it much better.

It has been snowing heavy, wet snow.  Husband went out to shovel around 3p.  I went and shoveled around 5pm.  Then it stopped, but it looks like it's going to snow until about 10p.  I think I will start preparing to go to bed, maybe do a facial or something, have herbal tea or water, read my meditation books (10 minutes minimum), and then watch the weather before I go to sleep.  

I would much rather wake up a little earlier tomorrow, and do any shoveling then. I'm sure that I'll have to shovel the mouth of the driveway from the load that the ####### snowplow will leave when it comes by again.  

Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 02/04/2021:
Such a busy girl! Good for you, getting all that accomplished.

grannyannie on 02/04/2021:
Good workout! Ankle weights are very effective.

A goal a day is a great idea.

Jacky82020 on 02/04/2021:
I’m glad you’re going back tomorrow since that’s better for you. Hugs.

Donkey on 02/04/2021:
Psychologically, I think it will be better and less painful to do it this way.

Jacky82020 on 02/04/2021:
Makes perfect sense! Nice it played out this way. You have good karma.

Donkey - Wednesday Feb 03, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 149.5

The last Wednesday of freedom - oh, I mean quarantine.  I've got to stop thinking about this time off in these terms.  It's not uplifting nor positive.

Last night's dinner was not a practice in moderation or portion control.  Way too many carbs.  Way too many calories.   Today is a new day to do better.  It seems that drinking more water didn't do much to curb my appetite nor reduce my deisre to eat. 

  • Hamburger 150 calories
  • Swiss cheese slice 200
  • Hamburger bun 120
  • Salad w salad dressing 100
  • Cheez Its (Buffalo Wing flavored - oh my!) 180
  • Hershey's Kiss 25
  • Coffee w Creamer 50

And this is on the conservative side.

I caught myself this morning, preparing and eating breakfast out of habit, even though I wasn't really "hungry" per se, but rather just keeping to a routine.  It didn't even occur to me to delay breakfast until around 10am - staving it off with coffee until then.  

I think yoga 2x a week is fine.

Getting through the meditation books as I can.  Sometimes, at the end of the day, I just don't have it in me to read. 

I think I will find certain activities to be more enjoyable if I do them as I want to, rather than setting up structured goals like "a chapter a day" or "30 days of push-ups".  I would appreciate any feedback on this statement.

Portion control, portion control, portion control. 

Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 02/03/2021:
I'm with you on the breakfast thing but Hubby, who is retired, is used to my cooking breakfast for us and so I do it for him and I eat what I want in moderation and it keeps me going for hours.

Jacky82020 on 02/03/2021:
Depends upon the person, your comment re activities. Some like rigid structure and others not so much. A day or days off would be ok with me. Even longer, depending. And there are alternatives. Like instead of one exercise you could do another. I am an avid reader and never read anything that doesn’t engage me. So many books I began & quit. Movies too.

legcramps on 02/03/2021:
Yes I agree that you should take the week in a more positive light. No use in thinking about WHEN you go back to work; it will be what it will be. What can you do right now to help yourself be in a better frame of mind?

Your statement regarding structured goals... depends what the goal is for me. If it's to read more books, well, I can only do that if the book i'm reading is actually engaging - so maybe the goal should be "enjoy time spent reading" rather than "read three chapters of book titled How Not To Enjoy Your Life".

If the goal is something like finishing my nutrition course, well that's a little different. That's something I know I will not always enjoy, but must work through anyways. In that case, i'll make it more structured so that I have time already set aside for it.

I have tried to set strength training goals in the past, and will usually get about three weeks into it and then it will die off. I don't have a good answer for this type of goal, except to share what I do, which is to fit it in when the opportunity presents itself. Maybe Monday it's pushups and squats at home, maybe Friday it's structured time at the gym with free weights. Maybe Sunday it's bike-hiking a 40 pound bike up and down hills for an hour.

grannyannie on 02/03/2021:
It's a struggle to feel motivated during this time when things are definitely not 'normal'. I crave carbs as well.

Have you read any books by Thich Nhat Hanh?

horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2021:
I agree about the thing you are asking for feedback about - as soon as we push ourselves to do something more than a reasonable amount it begins to feel like a chore and becomes something we loathe instead of a buoy. Totally yes.

It’s another one of those “less is more,” or simply “moderation.” Which can be so hard for overachievers ;) ;) ;)

Thank you for your comments- so helpful that I’m copying and pasting what you said and emailing to myself bc it’s good knowledge to have on types of courts like probate, then the local bc the state courts, etc....it’s good knowledge for me to actually retain in an email which is my favorite way to remember things !

horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2021:
Your dinner doesn’t sound very out of control, nice job mostly staying moderate ! Really only The chips were an indulgence but still just about a serving. Not bad !!

Oh lastly, I can if nothing hungry I eat breakfast straightaway at work - sometimes I say for myself it’s ok to stick to a routine - or just have breakfast first thing . I totally get your thinking though.

grannyannie on 02/04/2021:
Donkey, you should do jump rope on a softer surface - I do it on carpet. Working out on a concrete floor (Uganda) is I'm sure what cause me to get plantar fasciitis.

Donkey - Tuesday Feb 02, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 149.5

I'm having problems getting out of bed, still, knowing that at this time next week, I'll be getting up to go to work.  Mistakes Girl texted me yesterday, to see how I was doing, and I told her I was afraid to come back to work, because I won't know any of the files and I won't remember how to do the job.  Oh well...

In spite of feeling this way yesterday morning, I did manage to have a productive day!  Washed sheets, did upper & lower body weights, had a great yoga session, cleaned the stovetop, read a chapter in both meditation books I checked out, shoveled, took out the trash & recycling.  So I have high hopes that today will be a fulfilling day as well. I think I will wash our comforter today, and perhaps the daughter's comforter tomorrow.

I drank a lot more water yesterday, in an effort to eat less.  I want a new water bottle that has the capacity to hold more water than my current bottle - I'm thinking a half a gallon.  It seemed to me as though drinking more water more often throughout the day helped with eating less.  IDK, I can feel that I'm holding on to excess weight.  It's very uncomfortable.

AFTERNOON EDIT:  I went on the treadmill this afternoon and now my left hip is irritated again.  A 4.0 mph speed is jogging for me.  I jogged 0.75 miles and walked 0.5 miles.  I will try some stretches tonight.  I just took some Aleve.

I would also like to do some upper body *something* today.  I think that I will try to do some push-ups.

I forgot to mention that I tried jumping rope like Annie does.  I was able to do the 2 sets of 25 jumps.  However, jumping rope in the garage is a no-go, because of the concrete floors.  It may be easier to do on the wooden floor in the family room, but the jolt of the impact was quite startling.  

Now I just have to hold it together through dinner...  It's been kind of a carb-y day.

Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/02/2021:
Listen to Bear. You’ll be just fine when you come back to work....I’ll write more later. Rest is nice, sleep in while you can ;)

horn_of_plenty on 02/02/2021:
Oh your idea of a bigger water bottle is great as long as you clean it often!

I would prefer to use a large water bottle as I get up often to refill my cup that I throw out daily, for now, during the pandemic I have decided not to be washing both coffee cups or water cups at work. It’s provided free so I just take a new one daily which is horrible for the environment but that’s the protocol amongst my coworkers and I’m not yet up to breaking it. There’s also nowhere to hang cups/plates to dry so I never wash anything at work like I used to (used to wash my tubberware before going home). Now I just wipe it as work with a towel, and clean it back at home....

Jacky82020 on 02/02/2021:
Dang, half a gallon! That would be heavy if you have to lug it around.

Jacky82020 on 02/02/2021:
I used to jump rope, but not for a while. Excellent exercise.

Think you can freeze cream cheese

Donkey - Monday Feb 01, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 149.5

This is my last week of quarantine, and I'm rather disappointed in myself for sleeping in late.  I want to grab as much time as possible, but I just could NOT muster up the motivation to get up out of bed. 

My problem is clearing in the eating.  I had a sugar binge Saturday night, right before my Zoom meeting - I'm sure that's what triggered it, but also, I was just really upset at my weigh-in.  Yesterday, Husband made a delicious pot of chili and I had 2 helpings, plus a bunch of tortilla chips (which I did not bother to weigh nor moderate).  But this is a new month and I'm putting all of that behind me, and focusing on moving forward.

I just realized that I set no goals for myself this month!  But you know, I think that's OK.  I set up goals and then either fall short and feel bad about it, or push myself hard to meet the goals and feel bad about it.  So this month, I'm focusing more inward (nutrition) and not so much on the outward physical aspect (exercise).  This doesn't mean that I'll stop exercising, but I'm not setting any exercise goals for myself.  I'm working  more on food, stress management, water intake, self-comforting.

One thing that I want to do is to start the 21-day meditation book that I checked out from the library.  This will help me in 2 ways:  I can read it before bedtime, and then do the meditation exercise as preparation for sleeping (that's a suggestion that the author makes).  This will keep me from watching the news and/or checking my phone right before sleeping - doing both of those things is NOT recommended for a peaceful sleep.  The chapters are short; there are 21 chapters.  

For today:

  • In the middle of a load of cat laundry, which is in the dryer.
  • Maybe wash sheets once daughter wakes up, so that I can do 1 load.
  • We had a light snow overnight and the city plow just came by leaving a pile at the mouth of the driveway again.  Once I finish here, I'm going to go outside to shovel.
  • Work on the puzzle
  • Read Chapter 1 in the meditation book
  • Yoga class tonight!

(This is NOT a to-do list, but just a look at my day.)


Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 02/01/2021:
Sometimes the best goal is to do as best you can & that’s enough.

Re sugar binges, I am finding frozen fruit delicious, topped with sugar free syrup, the kind you see in coffee shops. The caramel, chocolate and almond worked well. Walmart has a big 4 pd bag of mixed frozen fruit. Also have mixed berries. Bananas are good too. I eat them frozen.

Lots of snow here! And cold! Expecting big gas bill.

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2021:
Good plans for a beer month. And I have been super lazy since I got home. I think it’s turning into a rest day here, especially since I doubt I’m going to work tomorrow bc my boss basically told me he’s not which means I am not...except he’ll be working at home...but not I.

The chili sounds amazing. Another thing I should learn to cook and often !

Donkey - Sunday Jan 31, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 149.5

My entry is delayed this morning because of all the shoveling I had to do this morning!  After my Zoom meeting last night, which ran until slightly after 9:30pm, I went out to shovel  There was about 3 inches of snow on the ground.  This morning, there was another  5-6 inches AT LEAST - PLUS, the snow plow came through the cul-de-sac and packed 3 feet of snow at the mouth of the driveway.  I kid you not - the wall of snow was up to my waist.  The husband got out the snowblower, because not only was there too much snow, but now there was no place to put it.  The snow around the driveway was too high already from previous snows!  The snowblower, though, is able to throw the snow much higher and farther than I could ever do with a shovel.

It is still snowing, so I may have to go out and do some more light shoveling.  I'm not sure where to put it, but at least I'll be able to clear it.

I hope to do some weights today.  I was not able to do my complete bike ride this morning, because of the shoveling, so I will finish that after lunch.

This is one of those days where it's kind of hard to be optimistic or hopeful about anything...

Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 01/31/2021:
Wow! All that shoveling! No new snow here but will cold the old never melted. I am keeping an eye on Zoom stock. It peaked dramatically a while back and is steadily dropping. So I am not sure if and when I should jump in.

bearcountrygg on 01/31/2021:
Our tractor has a snow blower...and boy do I appreciate that...mainly because I don't know how to drive it........I shoveled enough snow at my parents for 7 years.....and don't miss it at all....yeah...for snow blowers!

grannyannie on 01/31/2021:
Look at the snow shoveling at exercise, which it is.

Hope you're feeling more optimistic soon.

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2021:
It’s good to hear that hubby’s shot went well! I never realized he was 9 years older than you bc you both look rather young - and his hair is still so dark and plentiful!

As far as weight, maybe bake smaller size things like cookies instead of cake so that when you want to indulge, the amount is smaller for your sweets ?? This is why I don’t buy cakes, the portions are more calories than a few chocolates or cookies.

Once again you are getting far more snow than we are but now we are in the middle of a long (we’ll over 24 hrs) snowstorm that started Sunday around 9pm and may continue thru Tuesday !

Donkey - Saturday Jan 30, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 149.5

 I am running out of time to post this morning, as I need to leave soon to take my husband to the VA hospital to get his first dose of the COVID vaccine.

Once again, I went to bed early, but woke up at 1am, and had difficulty getting back to sleep.  When I woke up this morning, I felt so bloated and not right in the stomach.  I feel like there's a war going on in my stomach.  At least it doesn't burn.  And the scale is up FOUR pounds!  How does this even happen????  Especially since I had that "bathroom moment" Friday morning.I thought that would have "emptied me out", but I pretty much feel the same as I did before the "bathroom moment".  

Well, this is completely unacceptable.  I am almost 150 pounds, and that is far too heavy for my height.  And now I have almost 15 pounds to lose.  AUGH!!!!

AFTERNOON EDIT:  It took longer to drive to the VA than the whole procedure took *at* the VA.  There were a lot of people getting vacines, pretty much all older than my husband, who is 9 years older than I am.   These are vets, so it was mostly men, but there were a few women there.  My husband said that his first shot was painless and he feels fine.  He did take a nap in the afternoon, but he usually does.  And he's been having some neck and upper back pain from his disease (AS), which he usually rests for anyway.  So I don't correlate the nap with the shot at all.

I've taken today rather easy.  My stomach feels like its reconciled itself, I think.  I'm trying hard not to be discouraged by today's weigh-in.  I won't be deterred, but it's hard to see.

I've got a Zoom meeting with the 2 gals that I do legal clinic with - I think it's just to catch up with each other and see where we're at, but perhaps the one lady has more news about us re-opening the clinic.  As I've said here before, if they want to do it virtually, then I am not the person they need for that. 

So because of the Zoom meeting, I won't be doing any working out tonight either.  That's OK.  I also plan to go to bed a little later tonight, to see if that helps with waking up at 1am.  So I will try to go to bed a little closer to 10p tonight.

I'm hoping to wake up recharged and motivated.

Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 01/30/2021:
Hang in there. You'll take it back off.

Glad husband is getting first vaccination.

Donkey - Friday Jan 29, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

I did manage to go to bed early last night - head was bobbing at 9pm, so the lights went off shortly after that.  However, I woke up at 1am to awful nausea and abdominal discomfort.  I almost got out of bed to see if I should try to expel whatever was causing me problems, but the feeling never got to the point of "I need to get to the bathroom NOW" so I stayed in bed and maintained a fitful state of semi-sleeping, dreaming, and discomfort.  This means that I was very tired when my alarm went off at 5:15am, and I slept in until 6am.

After spending a lot of time in the bathroom, I was able to get my day started, and now I feel fine.  So I don't think this is flu or even food poisoning - which was my main concern  Just something my body needed to deal with in its own way.

I did a slow flow yoga session yesterday, which I quite enjoyed.  The pace was just about right, not too fast, but not too slow.  This time, I didn't get frustrated with myself when I couldn't do certain poses.  Rather, I mentally embraced myself - seriously, it felt like a mental hug - and really appreciated where I was, with respect to position, balance, and flexibility.  I don't know how to explain it other than to say, that I was OK with where I was at.

I did not get around to jump roping but I will try to do this today, if for no other reason than to try something new!  

I'm kind of eager to see what the scale says tomorrow.  I'm sure that you agree that I've got the activity aspect of weight-loss down.  So it's the eating part that I struggle with.  I no longer have a morning snack, mostly because I'm not hungry enough to have one.  (Horn had asked this question a couple of days ago, with respect to hard-boiled eggs, and I kept forgetting to answer her!)  My eating at work definitely differs from my eating at home.  I think the morning "snack" is more to take a break and calm my nerves.  Or perhaps all of that brain activity - with emails and phone calls - burns more calories?  IDK. It would be interesting to see if I could replace that morning snack with a morning break, instead.

Also, one thing that Maria mentioned about maybe actually NEEDING this break from work, got me to thinking about how to approach my work more passively.  I don't have to be so personally involved.  I don't need to have an answer, just a direction to find the answer.  When a client emails or calls (especially the phone calls), I feel a tremendous sense of pressure/stress to have the answer.  No, that's not my job.  My job is to facilitate communications.  I've been working on establishing boundaries for myself.  I can do this better with emails than I can with phone calls.  I can't tell you how many emails I respond to but don't actually send out my response.  

One of my HUGE pet peeves is files with Associate Attorney.  He doesn't do email, really, so Nice Lady monitors his emails.  When people email him instead of me, not only does it delay things, but it's kind of like people are disrespecting my place in the transaction.  And yes, it irritates me that it goes to Nice Lady, rather than to me, but this will not change as long as Nice Lady is still with us, and she will be with us until the very end. 

I can't change that relationship, and I can't change that people may choose to email AA, and leave me out, but I CAN change my reaction and approach for myself.  So someone emails Associate Attorney - oh well, it's not on me if our response is delayed.  Let it go...  Just take the emails as they come in to me.  I will continue to set boundaries for myself,  



Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 01/29/2021:
Wonder what caused your illness if you're sure it's not food poisoning?

Sounds like you feel you need to take on more responsibility at work than you actually have to.

Yoga session sounds like it went well.

horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2021:
Speaking of using the bathroom, i do not think i had a "BM" this entire work week...as soon as I get home, i'm sure that's what i'll be doing.

nice to hear about you doing yoga. stretching and flexibility are something i do a little of also because once you lose it, it's gone! (flexibility).

personally, i could not do jump roping...it's too much stress on my joints and would cause me ankle pain. i stay away from jogging/jumping/running now. beware that jumping rope would be a lot of stress on your joints, at least in my own opinion.

in regards to breakfast and morning eating at work, just like you, i find i am much hungrier and eat much more on working mornings than home also (hard boiled eggs comments, etc).

Like your job at work, mine here is very similar. I am also a facilitator to get things paid. I do NOT make the checks or anything like that, but my job is to review notarizations and documents, make sure they are correct or get them correct, and forward them to all the correct individuals (6 different people, at six different points in the procedure)...until everyone approves and then a check gets made out...not sure what you do or if it equals someone getting a check in the end?, but that's what i do!

Honestly, the AA's emails should all be CC'd to you...why can't that change be "facilitated" by you....that's an important change to make sure you see all correspondance. and i totally agree with you.

Maria7 on 01/29/2021:
Thanks for including me in your today's post regarding my comment to you yesterday. I am happy that it is helping. We all help one another here and I hope you are feeling better today and just enjoying your current freedom to be home from work. Hope you think of something fun just for yourself today. Smiles.

bearcountrygg on 01/29/2021:
If the emails eventually get to you then I guess it's not something to get too stressed about....You can only deal with things that cross your desk.

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