So just a little lower today, but still in maintenance range.
The drama at work yesterday is still trying to infect my day, so I am consciously having to remind myself that this is a day off, home is what is really important to me, and to let the past stay in the past.
Seriously, I've been debating about whether to talk this out with the other attorney, but the more I think about it, I'm going to just let it go, if I can. If I find that I still hold a resentment that I can't let go of, then I will ask to meet with him. But otherwise, I don't think it's worth my time and energy to even go there. That's what he and his assistant do, they "go there" and try to stir up things. Well, the "punishment" has already been decided, and it actually works out better for me, so I think least said, soonest mended. There. Enough about that.
The kids and the Boyfriend are all out doing their own things this afternoon, so it's nice to have the house to ourselves this afternoon, nice and quiet. My plan for this evening is watching some public television -- Father Brown or highlights of this morning's wedding -- and then an early bedtime for me.
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
So I'm not sure how my weigh-in will go tomorrow, since I have a big ol' knife stuck in my back AGAIN from a co-worker (our associate attorney).
The family wanted take-out, so I tried to do the best I could. I was/am upset, so I wasn't very hungry, ate about half of my sandwich and some raw vegetables.
It was so bad at work today that I took TWO walks, one at around 11am and then a LONG one for lunch.
What helped me was that after everyone left, I vented to one of my co-workers - the only non-attorney male at the office, who yes, is two-faced, but he's been there for over 20 years, so he's seen it all -- and this happened to him many times. It's temporary. What really bothers me isn't the "punishment" but rather that the attorney didn't come to me first, because there's a whole lot more to the story. Oh well, this will be a blessing in disguise. It will, I just have to be patient and control myself.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
But the jerks usually get themselves caught in the end...so keep your patience and control and try not to get too angry...because that person will end up doing more harm later and get in trouble somehow someday like they all do!
Today was a Hungry Day for me -- I hate those. I don't that I overate, but I felt hungry all day long. I know I've been eating less this week, but today was quite like my "normal" eating days. I had oatmeal for breakfast, the grapefruit for Second Breakfast, the rest of my chicken salad for lunch, then the very large apple and mozarella cheese stick that's been sitting in the refrigerator all week. The only extra fresh food I have left is my protein shake, which either has to get consumed tomorrow or tossed.
Drinking-water-during-dinner did not go so well. I had one (1) glass of ice water, and that was it. Tonight my daughter was able to join us for dinner, so it was the 4 of us -- which is so rare. I was hungry, so I had second helpings -- GASP! -- of zucchini noodles, with pesto sauce & parmesean chees, and 1/4 additional Italian sausage --- instead of drinking another glass of water.
I'm wondering if I damaged all of the progress I made earlier this week with just today.
Very late tonight/early tomorrow morning, the Boyfriend arrives to stay with us for 10 days 13 days! Kind of dreading the invasion of personal space - and yet, I really like this guy. I really do. I feel bad he has to go to this stupid wedding on Sunday, LOL...
anyways, i bought them raw and been eating them raw..they taste so good with whatever sauce i put on them!
wow a 2 week stay !
nice to have dinner with the whole family!
I missed my lunchtime walk today because of the "lunch date" I had with Title Lady --- which took 2 freakin' hours on a really busy day where EVERYTHING was time-sensitive. Apparently, everyone wants to close on their transactions next Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday -- regardless of what the contract says. Ridiculous.
Anyway, so I opted for something called "Mediterranean Chicken Salad". It's not "chicken salad" but salad with 2 skewers of marinated and blackened chicken.... Except now that I think of it, mine wasn't blackened, just grilled. Which is fine. It was delicious -- I ate maybe a third of it. I did not eat any of the big loaf of sourdough bread on the table, BUT -- and here's where I fell short -- I did indulge in a cup of cream of chicken & rice soup ahead of time. Oh my, that was SO GOOD. Drank lots of water. DID NOT order a diet Coke, although I was sorely tempted to do so.
Today - and lately, now that I come to think of it - I have been skipping my "second breakfast" and my "afternoon snack", which Hobbits would call "tea", I suppose, at around 3:30p. I catch myself wanting something and then asking "Am I really hungry or is it stress?" "Can I wait until lunch/dinner to eat, rather than eating now?" Very conscious of eating and not eating. I have a grapefruit, large apple, cheese stick, and meal shake in the refrigerator at work that haven't been touched, because of this.
I worked overtime to get caught up on all my emails and files, which I did. Had an odd dinner. The conversation between myself and my husband was rather testy, but then died down. I had a large hamburger patty w/steak sauce and salad. Then I went for a walk, to make up for what I missed at lunch --- and to get in my steps for the day. Now I am enjoying a cup of decaf with flavored creamer, and then up to bed to read, while my husband watches the Cubs on TV.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
good job walking after work...it's important to get some moving in during the day :) dinner sounds satisfying!
Today was a trying day at work: the coffee machine is breaking. So in addition to all the work I had to do, I also tried to clean the Keurig and then rinse it. This involves making multiple cups of vinegar solution, and then multiple cups of just water (to rinse). And it's still not working properly. Listen, people, I AM DANGEROUS WHEN I NEED COFFEE AND CAN'T GET TO IT. Fair warning. Just sayin'...
I keep forgetting that I made a "lunch date" with the lady from a title company that we don't use -- and as far as my boss is concerned, we'll never use them. Title Lady used to work for my boss, but I guess she wasn't very good, from the stories of olde that are told from time to time at the lunch table (which I no longer attend). The first time she invited me, I said I was too busy -- and that is 100% true at the time: It was a crazy busy week. I said, "how about some time in October?" Since I couldn't go out to lunch with her, she said she would bring lunch to me! It so happens that the day before she made this offer, I wasn't so busy, and thought, "Gee, if it's like this, I could go out to lunch with Title Lady." So I'm glad that she asked again :-) I'm checking out the menu ahead of time to see what I'll order. I usually try to have 2-3 choices and then wait to see what I feel like at the time of ordering. Right now, I'm thinking spinach salad or French dip sandwich.
Last laugh to leave you with today: We had a visit (today) from a realtor who had cancer last year. We thought he'd lose his voice, which, for a realtor, can be career-ending. Anyway, he stopped by the office today and he had lost so much weight. After he left, I mentioned my observation to one of my co-workers, and Queen Bee says, "Actually he's gained weight from the last time I saw him." And then she says to me, "So don't lose any more weight, (Donkey), or people will think you're sick." WHAT?????
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
So.....What did you decide to have for lunch????
The lunch is tomorrow (Wednesday). Right now, I'm leaning towards the salad, but this could certainly change :-)
that's cool you look at the menu and give yourself choices...a good idea i never really thought so much about...i'm sure i do it, but never thought about it your way.
Queen Bee is off her rocker. Remember that everything she says is not everything right to say! She says too much and doesn't get in trouble for it. She's lucky. Don't take offense or take it to heart. She isn't so nice, we know. Don't listen to her...take her thoughts with several grains of salt. she's jealous. keep on being happy and keep your head up bc at your workplace they rely on you heavily to get the work done...you have a lot going for you. keep it so! next time, say to her something like, oh, you mean you don't think i look sick now!? lol...you gotta joke back...somehow...and show it rolls off your shoulders. or just let her have her way with you as long as it keeps your job? idk...
..your advice to me is always good.
lately i feel my advice is really biased to everyone here. too biased. i'm afraid my opinions are all coming thru...especially to Grains, bless him. Honestly, i knew his approach was a major challenge and i've done what he does, for as long as he did it (not one meal a day, but the low carb), and i've experienced what it's like to finally let go of all those restrictions and then the indulgence that comes along with it...i was biased feeling that it was bound to happen to him...ah well. i hope i haven't offended him here.
What I'm trying to say is that I hope that my fellow DD'ers learn from my mistakes -- to save them the pain and grief and frustration that I have had to go through.
One day down, 6 more to go... Just have to get over the wedding on Sunday. Then I think I'll be fine for Daughter's graduation the following weekend -- but at least it's a long weekend because of the Memorial Day weekend.
On Sunday, after I posted, I realized that I hadn't made much of my goal to look fantastic at the wedding. I didn't even get the time to go get a (second-hand) new dress for the occassion. I have some good stand-bys in my closet that will do just fine - and they're free because I already own them, LOL.
I had hoped, though, that I would have been motivated to build up my arms, or tone up the legs -- heck even a lower number on the scale (beyond the maintenance +/- 5 pounds), and then show it off with a new (used) dress. None of that happened.,
IDK... too tired... too busy at work... too discouraged.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
Regardless, I know that their weight-loss is most likely to be only temporary. Mine could be too, now that I think about it....
also, good job with all the events as of late. try to use them as opportunities right now to present your best self. truly proud of you, lady...come on....show everyone who's boss.
Happy Mother's Day --- whether you're a mom-mom, a foster mom, a dog mom, a cat mom -- have a wonderful day!
I hurt my back this morning. I was twisting around to see the fat on the back of my knees and I heard a little *pop* and then some dull pain. It wasn't as bad as, say, a knuckle pop, but more like an old-age crick, but whatever it was, now my back is so sore... very achy. I took 2 Aleve (anti-inflammatory) about an hour ago and that hasn't helped one bit. I have to be really careful today with what I do. But of course, I want to do everything, right? I think after writing this, I will go upstairs and lie down flat on my back for a while. That often helps. I was going to ride the newer execise bike later on, to get in exercise with some resistance, to work my legs (the ones I was looking at fat on), but I think I'd better pass on that. I still might be able to walk with my daughter this afternoon... things are still kind of wet outside. Walking is usually OK to do as it helps stretch things out.
Oh what a dumb thing to do, for a very dumb reason...
This week is incredibly busy and WAY out of my routine -- which translates to STRESS in Donkey's little world.
SERENITY NOW!!!!
EVENING EDIT: Kind of took a day off from the drinking-water-during-dinner challenge. We had take-out Mexican for my Mother's Day meal, and while I had only 1 taco (double corn-tortilla - delicious, but not good on the carb count), and filled up on raw vegetables, I did have too many tortilla chips with guacamole. I can tell by the way my stomach is feeling right now.... Way too many carbs tonight.
However, on the bright side, I have no desire for dessert.
I think I'll go for a walk around the neighborhood to help ease the fullness feeling.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
Stay on plan and don't stress-eat.
Has the son continued working on his exercises so that he can re-apply?
Son joined a gym and is working out 6 days a week for about 1-1.5 hours. He says he's keeping up with his running and doing upper body weights, but hasn't been doing push-ups, nor has he been working on his sit-ups. The sit-ups will help him with his push-ups (core muscles) because -- and I just learned this -- the push-ups must be done with a straight & rigid back. If your back sags, the push-up doesn't count.
I advised that he start up again with the sit-ups. I should mention that he should test himself with push-ups at least once a week, too, as a way of monitoring his progress.
i will write much more soon! :)
Firstly, remember not to be too hard on yourself. I am sure you see your legs differently than the rest of the world :) Like Maria was saying, be happy with your progress! Is your goal now to maintain and/or improve on your fitness now? That is my goal..except at this point i also need to lose a little or my maintanence will become a gain...grrr!
10 days is quite a long visit from your daughter's boyfriend. Try to remember that it's your house and that he must be a hair out of his element (perhaps) too. I say this because there's a few people that don't really get uncomfortable socially or with new experiences. Oh, how i wish i were one of those folks! But try to remember it's new for all, and even if you feel some expectations, it's ok to also be yourself and do your own workouts and have some of your own space even with guests...i remembered that this weekend when i luckily had an hour of free time to exercise while away, thank gosh! it meant i didn't have to skip a workout....i felt much better after completing it :) and i recommend the same for you, to do for you also...don't totally put your needs on the wayside...
I too wish I could be more socially adept. I'm too much of an introvert, I'm afraid. The older I get, the more I'm OK with that, especially as I become more disappointed with the behaviors, actions and words, of my fellow human beings.
My efforts have paid off with this week's weigh-in. Emotionally/mentally, I feel better in this range of numbers. Physically, though, I'm wondering if some of my fatigue this week was due to reduced calories, which happens to me sometimes. But I didn't get real crabby, which is what often happens with reduced calories, so I don't know. All the way around, I do like and will continue to establish my drinking-water-during-dinner habit until it becomes much stronger and engrained. I recognize that right now, it's a fragile habit -- I'm not even sure it's a habit yet, because I do have to put effort and thought into practicing the behavior deliberately.
I've gone back to previous entries and see that my weight has vascillated between 128.0 and 133.5, which is a range of 5.5 pounds. This is maintenance. I'm glad I realize this just now because this tells me that my weigh-in isn't really weight-loss but just part of the maintenance journey - a helpful and healthy perspective.
I have errands to run that need to get done by noon -- post office & bank -- but I'm waiting for the home health nurse to stop by. My husband is starting a new medication for his auto-immune disease, and part of the program has a nurse coming over to help him with his first shot. It's not a regular shot, but one of those epi-pen contraptions, which my husband used with the last biologic drug he used. What a waste of money, but I still want to be here. We're hoping this one will help him...
Hubby is taking the kids to the movies this afternoon -- movies are not my thing so I get alone time, which I'm really looking forward to!
EVENING EDIT: I had a very nice "alone time" and the hubsband and kids had a good time at the movies.
I didn't run all of my errands today, so that I have something to get me up and out tomorrow, but my daughter surprised me today and said she wanted to walk with me tomorrow, if the weather permits. I mentioned I wanted to try some gelato at a local shop that I've been wanting to try for quite some time. So we'll see how much of that actually comes to fruition. If neither works out, that's OK too. (I no longer set expectations but rather "go with the flow" when it comes to holidays.)
Expanding on what Maria7 said in her entry today -- and I thought about this on Thursday during my lunchtime walk too -- now that I am at maintenance, it's time that I enjoy the fruits of my labor. Just be happy with where I'm at, number-wise and start focusing on other types of goals for myself.
I know that I can relax a little bit more with the eating, or lessen up on the exercise, but both of these things I actually enjoy doing as established habits. My body doesn't feel right if I eat badly or don't start with exercise in the morning.
Right now, I'm focusing on my drinking-water-during-dinner habit. I find this to be a satisfying process and goal to work towards; I know it will take me some time to get this habit down SOLID - which is fine because I do not know what I would try next.
I've tried establishing weight training as a habit. I suppose I could try to run a 5k, but with my history of back/knee/foot problems, I'm not sure that's in my best interest. So I don't know.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
Thank goodness this work week is over! Yes, it's been very busy because real estate is busy, but for me personally, I think the one thing that made this week especially hard was that I was wiped out from last weekend. I REALLY need my weekends to decompress.
This weekend is calm, but next weekend is going to be VERY BUSY... now I'm wondering if I should take Monday off -- May 21st -- to have that day to decompress. I'll have to check to see how much time off I have left.
There was another lunch party that I wasn't aware was being planned for today. So I just told my co-workers that I was sorry, I didn't know this had been planned, and I had stuff I had to get done. Not really, so I came home for lunch. This means I missed my lunch walk but I think I was going to miss it anyway - either by attending the party or because the weather was not great (cold and rainy). I'm proud of myself for thinking of this on the fly (completely unplanned because this was so unexpected) and that I made myself a priority.
Food at the party was Carb City: deep fried taquitos stuffed with mashed potatoes (it's a Mexican thing, apparently), white rice, anglefood cake. No protein whatsoever. Not a green vegetable in sight. So glad I passed! And with weigh-in tomorrow? No thanks!
Drinking-water-during-dinner habit: not so good tonight. I had turned off the heat a couple of weeks ago because the weather was so warm. Well, right now it's in the 40s, and the house was at a chilly 63 degrees. I could not drink any cold water beyond my first glass. I still felt, though, that I ate sufficientlyl slow. I doubled up my green salad and cut my pork chop in half. That was just right.
Here's where it gets a little wah-wah: had 2 cups of decaf with creamer after dinner, to warm me up. I have these 2 big frosted cookies from the title company that I really would love to eat, but instead compromised with 10 dark chocolate chips which is 50 calories. It would have been better if I had only 1 cup of decaf, or better yet, no chips, but I dunno, I just needed a little "celebration" for the end of a hard week.
We'll see what the scale has to say about that tomorrow.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
Attended the last band concert... my daughter graduates this year and she's my younger (of 2), so no more concerts. At least not as a mom.
So I rushed home from work, because we're had to leave on time, and for some reason, my husband did not have dinner ready. It seems with him, the higher the expectation, the lower he performs.
Dinner was tense, or rather testy, and I struggled to get in even 2 glasses of water while eating. Ideally, I should have excused myself, gone into another room, and calmed myself down. But we were on a time crunch. I hate that.
Stayed up too late. Very hard to get out of bed this morning. At least it's Friday...
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
Well, I could have stayed at work and gotten more of it finished!
you are doing good...remember that at the end of the day, all your rushing and testy dinner was for good reason: you got to attend your daughter's last concert. you had to do more in order to go...but at least you got to attend :) trying to shed a positive light on it.
seems the more we want in life, the more we have to give! like in order to receive good things, we must get to do more to receive :) as i see.
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Back in the day when I sold real estate....we had to go to a seminar which was nothing but pure brain washing.....and every time we had a break...before and after...we had to chant....!!!! And the chant was....HE HAS MY MONEY IN HIS POCKET AND I WANT IT!!!!...( we were supposed to think about that when ever we took a client out to look at houses.)....and as much as I really disliked the chant...it actually has served me at times with other jobs....when I was, for some reason unhappy at work...I thought of it...and just settled down immediately...because...that company had my money in their pocket and I wanted it....
I want to thank you for this. And I hope I can express what I'm feeling - and the help that this insight story gave me appropriately:
That slogan is so not who I am, and when I read it, I actually thought of this realtor that's giving me trouble (in this most current work drama) saying this. This is exactly who SHE is. She is a snake and a backstabber and truly does not work in the best interest of her clients, much less her "team" which includes the attorney & his paralegal (me).
But then you say that you used this slogan to help you in different job/work situations for yourself. And turning that perspective around to apply to my own self is what really, really helped.
BTW, even though I find the slogan to be distasteful, it is entirely appropriate for any successful sales approach! So perhaps the slogan in itself is not bad, but just how one applies it to her/his own life & moral standards.
Horn_of_plenty on 05/20/2018:
Personally, i'd advise you to try to let it go as much as possible. drama is NOT welcome in the workplace...i have had very poor experiences letting any drama move out of my mouth...lately i actually have to work to keep my mouth shut again...
even if he is so wrong, i do not feel it's worth your energies.
i'm watching the movie today :)
THANK YOU -- I'm still struggling a little bit with this conflict within me to stand up for myself, but you're absolutely 100% right. Least said, soonest mended.
And each day, the conflict within me gets resolved and healed a bit more, so this is progress. I'm definitely going to let this one go.
bearcountrygg on 05/20/2018:
My oldest son is an assistant manager of a major department store....and he gets very agitated with what is going on in the store he works for....and I'm afraid his verbal disagreements with those higher than him...and even employees that work under him will at some point cause him to lose his job. Like all jobs...( and I mean ALL JOBS)...get frustrating at times.....and unless we actually own the company...we really don't have any control over how the business is run....basically they own employees during wok hours...so giving them a good days work while we are there earns our pay......but the minute we walk out that door....our lives become our own again.....and all I can say is try to leave work at that door.....because while you are outside of their employment...you aren't getting paid to worry about that place. Basically I always tried to see work as a head game. I watched D run multimillion dollar jobs in Detroit...for 32 years....and when we went on vacation...he got an ulcer....and ended up in the hospital....because he worried the whole time about what was going on there while he was away. Getting an ulcer about a job that was owned by someone elses company...is seriously not worth it.....while he was in intensive care....I had a 5 year old foster child, a trailer in a campground and a truck that I could not drive because it was a stick.....the hosp was kind enough to help me get the truck to a dealership for a oil change ( fake) and gave me a loaner that I could drive...and after spending the first day at the hospital with him in intensive care...the 5 year old and I went to the campground....and things continued to fall apart....the septic tank needed to be dumped, the water tank needed to be filled...and the lock on the door broke...( I tied the door shut with a shoelace...and slept very little until he was released from the hospital)...we carried water, we used a bucket, we could not lock the door.....Life is funny that way...it's full of lessons...we survived.....he still continued to worry about his work until he retired......and now...so many years later...he still dreams or maybe I should say...he has nightmares....about work...about pits caving in...about walls falling down and building collapsing...but he never dreams about getting sick or hurt....yet that is how he really suffered.
This is a powerful story. I think I'll come back to this from time to time, to help me keep a better perspective of my own life and duties. You're right - it's not worth it, to run yourself into the ground, for someone else's company.