After I commented on Annie's post about cutting & pasting my entries, so that I can keep a copy of my writings, I realized that this means I would have to write from my laptop, and that's not always convenient for me to do. I usually post comments here, using my phone, but writing an entry can go either way, depending on available time (biggest factor) and where I'm at.
I had a productive weekend, as far as goals go.
I'm hoping that with the holiday and bad weather that there aren't a lot of new contracts today. In fact, it would be OK with me if there were no new contracts. I have enough time-sensitive tasks to do today without having to worry about new deals coming in today. Just for today.
I really wish that work did not dominate my time and headspace as much as it does.
Progress as of today: 38.5 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
So I remembered to weigh in today.... This definitely explains why my underwear has been feeling too tight lately.
I've had 2 epiphanies in 2021 (so far):
I've already started getting off the "eating train" and I'm drinking more water.
I woke up with hip and back pain, so I've already done yoga, targeted to the hips (which cause the back pain), and it's really helped. I hope that once I get back into the work week that I can keep doing a little yoga every day. That's why I really appreciate having this goal for January.
I did ALL of my usual weekend chores on Friday and Saturday, so today is basically a free day. How nice! I was a little down on myself yesterday, because I realized that after my daughter came back from staying overnight with her friend for NYE, that we're actually quite dull people: puzzles, reading, watching TV & movies, etc. But I'm appreciating my introvertedness a little more today.
You see, yesterday, on a local FB group I belong to, someone asked what restaurants are serving indoors "for teenagers to hang out". OH. MY. GOODNESSS. Hello, we're in the middle of a pandemic??? And some folks pointed that out and got slammed. I was talking to my neighbor while shoveling outside and he mentioned that his daughter is doing 100% remote schooling (senior in highschool), because a lot of her classmates' families are not abiding by the COVID restrictions, and she (his daughter) really wants a spring Track season, so she's doing her best to stay healthy.
So all of that had me honked off, frustrated, and just sad. I mentioned all of this to Husband, who was equally dismayed. So, for today and just today, I am going to be proud of myself for being content and satisfied with a quieter life.
Progress as of today: 38.5 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
I keep losing the same weight over and over too. Sigh.
Tight underwear is bad. I can't get my wedding ring on my fat fingers.
I'm rather disappointed in my disorganization and lack of focus, seeing as it's a New Year and all. I'm just not feeling the magic of a new year, new day yet...
I forgot to weigh in this morning. DANG. So do I weigh in tomorrow? Or do I wait a week and weigh-in next Saturday? I've decided that - if I can freakin' remember! - I will weigh in tomorrow morning. The sooner I get a "start weight" for 2021, the sooner I can start working on it.
I think I will stick with the list of goals that I mentioned yesterday. I'm not very satisfied with the way I set up my written journal, but will proceed forward with it. I took some selfies so that I can measure any progress I make during the year. I did a short yoga segment and kept my mat out for today's session. Tried reading but I'm stuck with the Lewis & Clark book. I have 2 other books I want to read, too, but I feel obligated to finsih this book first.
Sadly, I don't have anything exciting planned for today, and Daughter is off. I feel like we should do more together. I will see if she wants to do yoga with me, perhaps. Until she wakes up, though, I need to shovel the driveway (again) and finish up my laundry, which is in various stages of drying.
MORNING EDIT: Inspired by Maria, I took a look back at my last entry for 2019. Oh my I had such high hopes for 2020! That hope is what seems to be missing this year. It might be distrust, it might be fatigue. I *KNOW* that I am hopeful for this year. I'm just not feeling it yet.
If we go by the last weigh-in for 2020, I've gained 10 pounds - and frankly, it's probably more, but I don't know for sure because I forgot to weigh in today (DUH!). That's OK - a 10-pound goal is enough for me to tackle!
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
do what you need to do for you. don't compare.
10lb goal is good. imagine it was 50lb. 10lb is doable, easier, for sure. it's more "maintenance" with a couple changes. 50lbs would be a whole new journey. thankfully not. you can use what you've learned...you're good! better than you think you are. retain your confidence. judge yourself less!
You're absolutely right - I need to do this for ME, so making comparisons isn't fair or productive. (This is different than taking tips or learning from others' stories.)
That's the thing about this negative energy. It keeps me from focusing on what's important, what's positive, what's good. And having a shorter journey of 10 pounds is definitely a good thing. I lost sight of that. Thanks!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I stayed up later than usual, saw the ball drop in NYC, but couldn't stay up much past that. That's OK. I slept in late, too, which was nice. So far, I've mopped the basement floor and the main level, and did a load of cat laundry. It has started to snow here, so I will be shoveling to keep up with the accumulation - still no gas for the mega snowblower that we spent $ on. There is also a chance of icy mix in there too, so we'll see what the day brings. "Shoveling is great exercise!"
I did NOT sign up for the online Beginner's Yoga series. I was sorely tempted, and frankly, the main reason why I didn't sign up was because I forgot to do so. I could have signed up at 10pm last night, but I thought that it would be better if I saved my money instead. I signed up for a (free) 30-day Yoga Everyday Facebook group instead. So I will be doing yoga later today - and I mustn't forget this!
I did NOT weigh in this morning, because my weigh-in days are Saturdays, and I'm sticking to that. I do not have a concrete list of 2021 goals or January goals, but here are a few ideas that I'm floating around in my head:
I have daily water goals, of course, and Santa brought me a food scale, so I definitely plan to use that, to get a better idea on portion control. Husband ate the last of the Christmas cookies last night - after I had made a significant dent in them. Finally, after I left work early - although later than I had planned to leave - I purchased more sugar-free gummies. I did this because I think they will be helpful in curbing my sweet tooth after dinner.
I won't even go into the drama at work, and how I was much busier than I should have been, because of this drama - with a file, not with staff. However, I want to say how PROUD I am of myself for being able to recognize the drama and step back from it, in order to deal with the transaction logically. Once I was able to get and do what needed to be done to move forward, I did indulge our client and thanked them for being patient and working with a difficult opposing party and his difficult opposing attorney. This made our agent happy, which makes me happy, too :-)
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
So happy to hear of your successful actions at work !!!!
Happy New Year's Eve!!!
I plan to work half a day, hopefully leaving at 1pm. I don't have much on my task list to do, as I am waiting, for the most part, for other people to send me stuff. So if other people aren't working, then there's not much for me to do.
The Boss' wife had a medical issue yesterday, and he was supposed to take her to the hospital last thing I heard. I am pretty sure that he will be at work today, unless he's taking care of her at home. She had some edema in her legs, and the doctor was afraid she might have a blood clot. I personally think it's the beginning of heart failure, but that's just my hunch.
Daughter has plans for today, ending up with sleeping over at her girlfriend's house, so it will be just Husband and myself. Husband is making a big pot of chili for tonight and tomorrow.
I still haven't joined the "Yoga for Beginners" online group. I will need to sign up and pay today if I'm going to do it. I also need to deposit a check today - was supposed to do it on 12/29. Oh my procrastation is a real problem here.
Eating still remains a problem. I did pretty well, BUT ate a lot of cookies - IDK maybe 9 of them? They are gone now, and I feel that the remainder of the holiday desserts are either manageable or ignorable.
I have not thought of goals for 2021 nor for January. That's not a good sign, is it?
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
Hope you get to go home early. Happy New Year!
do you have a phone banking app? those are the BEST for depositing checks (if they are made out to you - unless it's something for your workplace, lol).
you always think of goals...take your time and they may be more meaningful.
:)
Very overweight, smokes 2+ packs a day, no exercise (because she needs a knee replacement), etc.
This eating must stop.
We were expecting a snow storm yesterday. Nice Lady left around 3:30p and the Boss left shortly after that, to get home before the snow started.
At 4p, I stepped out to take the UPS to the drop box next door and pick up our own mail. As I stepped out of our building, I saw, literally 3 flakes. By the time I had returned to the office, and used the bathroom, the parking lot was already coated with snow. So I left; it was around 4:15p. Drove home slowly, but it was not bad, yet.
Shoveled when I got home and knew I'd have to shovel at least one more time before bed. Came in to eat, and ate way too much. Went out again and there were already a couple of more inches. It was heavy. I was upset because we have an expensive, obnoxious snowblower in the garage, but no gas for it, even though husband was home all day and knew it would snow. Unreal.
I woke up early so that I would have time to shovel, but my daughter must have shoveled when she got home, because the driveway is clear. I just need to shovel at the mouth, where the plow has piled a foot or so of packed snow. That will be hard.
I'm still a little uncomfortable from all the eating last night. Not good.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
I don't think we are going to get away with no snow this winter (of course we aren't here in a normal year). This morning it was 0C/32F. Snow on mountaintops, but nothing else. And it's only partly cloudy so at least looks nice outside.
Awww your daughter is sweet! Can you fill up a portable tank at the gas station for snowblower ? Does it take the same gas ? I hope you can get some! But so happy to hear daughter did some ! She sounds great !!!
You keep on...physical activity also ramps up my appetite - anything really- except with so much extra time to relax here, my appetite is seemingly quite satiated - we’ll see how that changes, hopefully soon, still haven’t got the address (it’s a field address not main company location) time, or exact name of who I’m working with! I texted to ask, no answer yet ! Not worried. Just keeping busy!
The past 2 days I've woken up later than I would like, and so my posting time here is limited. Sunday night, I was up from about 1a - 3a, so when it was time to get up, I was exhausted. Last night, went to bed later than usual, and got up an hour later than usual.
Left work at 1p and came home to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. I had lunch and then Mr. Donkey and I worked on a puzzle. Took a nap, had Chinese, I did yoga, and then that was pretty much the end of the day.
I asked if he wanted to eat at our restaurant, but he was not comfortable doing that, much to my relief. Most restaurants are defying the shutdown, but have "limited seating". And some restaurants are just packing them in. Unreal.
Yoga helped "reset" my left hip. I may have to do more yoga during the week, to keep the pain from coming back. There are good videos on YouTube that focus on hips.
Tired of eating but still get hungry. And there are leftovers to plow through. I'm feeling the extra pounds.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
We are on total lockdown here so no restaurants - I guess takeaway is okay. But no indoor seating.
Yum, Chinese! There's a lot of healthy chinese food out there! it still has ample veggies when you order right ;) ahh, you have me craving Chinese! wow. might order for dinner tonight.
yes, restaurants that have seating, on Long Island, not Queens (NYC not doing any open seating at restaurants at all, only takeout), LI restaurants tend to either follow or not follow the protocols. I saw one still packing them in a couple days ago after getting takeout. I'm glad the person i was with didn't want to eat in there either. I suggested we eat in his car, windows up, later told my parents i ate in his car and they were pissed! little did they know we didn't even where masks when i got together with this guy...oh well, not the smartest, but we were both under the impression we were both very covid-free and had been safe...lol, parents sent me home after i walked with my mom - they didn't want me breathing all over their house! lol.
oh, if you are into trying some kind of tai chi, mostly in a chair actually, i have a special access to limited people. i can connect you to the person who's setting it up...she's doing a series of 8 classes, i never tried, and i am thinking to try one session? it's mondays 6-7 and i'm not sure if i'd be home in time after going back to work (i don't even know the hours i'll be working...or the exact address!? and supposedly i start on the 4th!?)
but if you are interested, there's like 8 mondays that it'll take place, and you can even just try one class, $15 per person...maybe you hubby could be free since you'll both be using the same access to the class. if you have any interest, i can forward you the email / contacts. i just need your email.
try to incorporate large veggie sides in with the leftovers. lesson the size of the meats and starches and have extra veggies / salad...try that...or seltzers...i know it's so hard! :) I might have to do Chinese takeout...just veggies...and supplement maybe with what i have at home...maybe.
Had a very nice visit with my sister and her husband, and daughter's boyfriend. I actually like this boyfriend quite a bit. When the last boyfriend didn't work out, I actually grieved a bit, since I had already mentally adopted him into our family. And, sadly, I can see myself doing this again with this boyfriend, too. I had my doubts, but I noticed he kept saying things like, "Whe we do this again..." and "The next time...." and IDK, that just melted away my cynicism. Maybe those were just platitudes, but I thought it was so sweet.
I did well, I think, with the actual dinner, but unfortunately, my sister made some delicious Christmas cookies, and left the leftovers behind, so now even more cookies to eat through. I know that I have extra pounds to lose, but I'm not going to be too hard on myself. I've got all these leftovers, and this week is about bringing this awful year to an end.
I'm feeling very anxious about the current state of things in the news. I think I may need to take a media break. However, this would do me no good. I think the last 3 months or so, when I get home from work and settle down for dinner, Mr. Donkey starts rehashing the daily news events: "Can you believe this happened today?" "Did you hear what (politician) said?" We've been married for 25 years, and he picks now to get interested in news, politics, and current events. There have been a few times where I've had to say, "I just can't deal with this now."
Anyway, back to things that I *CAN* control in my life, today I have laundry to fold and put away. Also, I'd like to hop on my treadmill today, since that hasn't happened since last Sunday. The birdfeeders need refilling, and I'm going to see if I can figure out how to set up the birdfeeder hook & clamp on the deck, to set up one of the birdfeeders I got for Christmas. To be honest, I'm not sure I'm ambitious enough to tackle that one today. (ha ha)
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
i think you are smart not to be hard on yourself right now with cookies, eating. just do what you can.
the news is ultra-repetitive. i think i took like 1-2 weeks straight off it, came back to the same...hardly missed anything!
i hope you feel up to tackling the bird feeders and last bit of what you'd like to tackle soon xoxo
Good morning! I'm surprised my weight isn't higher. I can really feel these extra 5 pounds. I'm hoping that some of this is bloat from salt and extra carbs and wine. Just goes to prove that you cannot out-exercise a bad diet. I stayed in bed an extra hour, debating whether or not I should weigh-in today. I'm glad I did. I can't tackle a problem if I don't know where to start.
I've got a lot of cleaning to do today. I've already mopped the basement floor, and my laundry is in various stages of drying. There's still some cleaning up to do from Christmas present opening, too. Picking up and mopping the main level are my next chores. There is a lot to pick up!
I struggled a bit with sadness last night. I thought having a glass of wine might help me relax, but instead, it seemed to make me feel even sadder.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
yeah, red wine doesn't do a thing to help emotions...i is a lot of cals....when i go back to work, i'll have to see about possibly working on my diet...possibly subbing chips for rice...and thinking how to maintain energy better than ever ;) you are doing just fine...now that the holidays are over, you can work on you ;)
not sure about you, but when i have gained significant amounts of weight in the past, i didn't feel good with it on me...it did slow me down and tire me out...i'm sure if you feel that way, you will want to change...
Merry Christmas!! Even if you don't celebrate, I wish you a happy, happy day!
I was able to leave work before 2pm, and if I hadn't wanted to take some of the leftover food home, I probably could have left closer to 1pm. Believe it or not, of the less than 20 emails I received all day, 4 of them were crabby people! One guy was FURIOUS with me: "Why are you emailing like it's 1998? Call me on my phone like business is done." Ha ha ha!
So I call him and his voice mailbox isn't set up! What a dork! Both my husband and my boss told me that I should have said to him, "Why isn't your voice mailbox set up like it's 1998?" Anyway, he's a client of Associate Attorey, who LOVES to talk on the phone, so I'll leave the calling to him to do. But honestly, UNREAL - on Christmas Eve. WHATEVER.
The party at work was nice, although I ended up with a sandwich that was not my first choice. I thought it was something else, but instead, it was just cheese. I didn't think the margaritas were very strong (had 2), and I did have a bit of dessert.
I did OK with dinner last night, having only 2 cookies (approx. 120 calories), but this morning I did partake of the coffeecake that my husband bought. I felt obligated to share the meal with him.
I'm doing OK this morning, but it doesn't really feel like Christmas. Maybe that's because of the lack of snow. Or because we're still waiting for Daughter to wake up, so we haven't done gifts or anything. So I'm enjoying the quietness of the day, listening to Christmas music. We'll be having Italian beef sandwichs, salad, and potato chips for our Christmas dinner.
MORNING EDIT: Oh my goodness - I just saw a photo that Nice Lady took of me serving myself at the office party. Wow, I definitely have a LOT of work to do next year. YIKES...
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
Enjoy your day!
And really first, Merry Christmas to you and your family! :)
I am sorry on the passing of your grandmother. I am sure she did live her fullest and best life.
I have such a hard time on emotional eating too. The only things that help are veggies that lately i just stuff in and don't even love anymore when i'm eating them (weird!), lots of low cal drinks, coffees, seltzers...
it's Christmas Day...enjoy it. Enjoy not having to get up to work tomorrow! (like is usually the case when Christmas falls during the week!) so crazy....
i'll write more later, again, I'm sorry on the passing of your grandmother.
lol, that crabby guy that would rather have a phone call than an email...well isn't that what 1998 is!? haha...he's backwards!
can we see the photo of you at work!?!? i'm sure it's the cutest!
also, your dinner is a perfect dinner...it'd be very happy with it tonight! :)
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Definitely best if you can leave work at work......Have you ever seen anyone touch the door frame as they get on a plane? You could touch the door frame on your way out of work each afternoon as a reminder to leave work at work.....no need to use your at home free time worrying about something you aren't getting paid for when you are off. That is YOUR TIME!!!
Whoa, that is a wonderful idea, to touch the door frame *intentionally* on my way out the door. I'm going to do this, if I can remember. It's very yoga-ish and hopefully something that will help me release the work tension.
Jacky82020 on 01/04/2021:
I am disgusted by current events! But get enough from the NYT, Washington Post, and all kinds of daily emails. I go mad when I don’t have a good book to read .
Found a terrific book on one of the last living slaves to America from Africa. He was extensively interviewed in 1927. Came here on the last slave ship. The Clotilda, or something like that. Fascinating.
^What is the name of the book? That sounds fascinating! I'm also going to look into the book Annie recommended.
legcramps on 01/04/2021:
Used to enjoy reading all the time, now it's hard for me to be alone in silence. Need to have background noise on all the time. I'm not sure what happened in the last year, but this pandemic has definitely changed me in ways that i'm not sure I like!
Good point! In the past, when I've struggled with depression, I found it impossible to read. I wonder if there isn't something similarly going on in my brain with all the stress lingering in the air. Wow, this is like total game changer! I never considered this!
grannyannie on 01/04/2021:
Ever listen to audiobooks?
I don't. I tried once, but I was not able to focus on the words. They became background noise as I engaged in other tasks. I'm more of a visual learner, I guess.