DISCLAIMER: Very personal details, please skip if you are sensitive or easily offended.
For most of the day yesterday (Wednesday), I had zilch motivation, but stuck to my program because that's the difference between success and slide-back.
My husband made baked mostaccoli last night, so I stuck to vegetables instead. Kind of easy to do because I wasn't very hungry - too much raw broccoli eaten at work. So another dinner this week with no meat - GOOD!
I was quite frustrated with my husband. He did almost no activity yesterday, which is not good for his back with his AS. He needs to drop about 50 pounds, but he's not even trying any more. How can I say this? Two heaping plates full of mostaccoli at dinner, no exercise. So you might think that his weight and his health are his issue, but this affects our marriage too. Romance can be difficult when there's 50 pounds of gut between us, if you know what I mean. I've told him this. Doesn't matter. Then he gets mad when I'm not interested. Well, sorry if I don't feel like stressing out my hips and back to accommodate your fat. It hurts!!!
Moving on... I ran out of work to do yesterday, which was nice. Had I left early, I would have gone to the animal shelter to look at cats up for adoption... and probably walked out with one, which is not a good thing to do right now.
Today, my boss and I are meeting up with a realtor for lunch to make sure our working relationship is ok. She's had a couple of really rough clients lately, which sometimes seems like we're not doing our job. I will plan my menu choice accordingly.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
Taking the morning off to take kitty to the vet for a check-up. Then, up to the county office to straighten out my daughter's voter registration. Nice to have a morning off, although I'll probably return to an email nightmare when I get bak to the office. *sigh* My heart already feels heavy...
I'm back on track. Last night, I had no meat for dinner. Fruit, vegetables, cheese, salad dressing. Felt full and satisfied.
Autumn begins this week. I'm thinking of changing up my routine, both morning and night. I might not get as many fitbit activity steps with the new routine, but I'm thinking along the lines of being more efficient or effective with the time I do put in. I haven't come up with a new plan yet, as to what would change, but staying to give this serious consideration.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
i find that as long as the meal at least has some healthy fat, yes, it is satisfying. nice job on your dinner!
i am also making changes with this season. i ordered a warmer down comforter for this year online and also just bought a daylight alarm clock that mimics a rising sun and also nature sounds to wake up....i will enjoy getting up when the room is bright on workdays. i think it could be very helpful for people with seasonal disorder or anxiety or depression...the dayight alarm clock.
I'm taking the day off to go dirt biking and won't think of work once, until we're headed back in the afternoon and get back into cellular signals again. That's when my phone typically starts buzzing and beeping with all of the emails, voicemails, texts, etc. Love getting away, but hate coming back to real life.
So after my wonderful weigh-in yesterday, what do I do? Begin the DEEP END CONFESSIONAL:
A few weeks ago, I made an Oreo ice cream dessert dish to help consolidate and get rid of the 4 half-empty vanilla ice cream containers in our freezer. (I kid you not.) This was a tough week, and I told myself that if I stuck to my program, that after weigh-in on Saturday, I could have a piece of the ice cream dessert. Yes, Donkey rewarding herself with food -- STILL. Not often, but STILL. You know what I'm saying?
Who is to say if I would have had a slice if weigh-in had been bad -- I think I still would have had a slice, because I'm learning to actually follow through on rewards I promise to myself (I'm really mean to myself in that way) - so I had a slice. A LARGE slice. OK, TWO SLICES, because the slice I had cut broke into the slice next to it unevenly and I couldn't let that uneven slice just sit there in the pan, could I?
Thankfully there are only 4 slices left, and the kids should finish that off this week - just in time for the cooler weather to come in on Thursday....
Anyway, so that was done and over, but then what happens? Husband and I were alone for dinner, and I kind of wanted a date night, and he didn't feel like cooking for 2. And neither one of us wanted leftovers - LOL - so we went to a local pizza place. Ordered fried cheese curds, fried pickle slices, and a medium pizza with sausage, onions, green peppers, and mushrooms. I was able to control myself with the cheese curds, but there were way too many fried pickles, and let's just say that I finished what husband didn't eat. Oh I could tell that they were way too salty, but for some reason, I felt compelled to eat them all. Then came the pizza, which is round, but cut into squares. Had the 4 corner slices. I was way full after that, almost to the point of discomfort, but not quite there. I did take a couple of Tums right before bed to help. It would have been better if I had not eaten so much and not felt so full after dinner, because then I didn't really feel like doing much of anything else. Came home, watched TV, went to sleep.
Oh boy, did I pay for yesterday this morning. Stomach was quite upset. I waited for my stomach to settle down before deciding whether or not to have breakfast, which I ended up having at around 10am - after a long session on the exercise bike (while I watch the morning news shows) and some weigh training. I had not done weights Friday or Saturday, so it was time to get back into the groove.
I am writing about this because I want to remember this day, as I probably would have done things differently to spare myself the discomfort of last night and this morning. But overall, as I am in maintenance mode, I think it's OK to have a day like this every once in a while.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
All that to say, I think your splurge was still much more controlled than mine would've been. And if it only happens once every week or two, I highly doubt it would have any effect at all.
yeah, i agree with your last sentence! no need to punish yourself at all.
my stomach might be upset too after the fried food.
it's also because you do not really eat that way anymore....and you are more sensitive to when you eat in a way you aren't used to anymore. i also wouldn't enjoy a whole big meal of fried things and pizza....i would go back to craving veggies, thankfully.
Happy with this week's weigh-in. Ironman scale had me at 129.8, which is not only OK with me on the numbers, but also consistent with the difference in numbers I see between the 2 scales. So sodium, hormone, and bathroom issues seem to have resolved themselves this week.
I have been feeling the "Winter Pull" already. When I say that, this "Pull" is something that starts, for me, in autumn. It starts with drinking less water for the day. It usually evolves into eating starchier foods -- even healthy ones, like squash, sweet potato, pumpkin. Then it cascades into the holidays: Halloween candy (sugar cravings), Thanksgiving, Christmas, Anniversary, New Years Eve, New Years Day...
We've had beautiful warm weather for about 2 weeks here in Chicagoland, but I have noticed that the daylight is different - even at noon - and that this is (a huge) part of the "winter pull" problem. I'm amazed at how subtle the changes are.
Still -- I am truly looking forward to autumn. I love the changes in the colors, the cooler temperatures, the anticipation of the holidays. I really do love it all -- just maybe not so much for losing and/or maintaining. Looking back, from the weight gains and losses I've had over the many, many years, winter is tough.
Earlier this week, I was really down in the dumps. Probably stressed out is more like it, but just in a very dark mood. I woke up on Thursday deciding that I was going to pick myself up and nothing on that day was going to bring me down. It was a tough day, but I reminded myself of this mindset throughout the day, and it really helped. THAT is the mindset that I'm going to use as I move forward. This isn't a setback coming up - this is a challenge to myself!
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
The thing is, the sunlight itself is DIFFERENT. I can totally tell that this is not the same light - even though it's from the same Sun - that we had in July.
Every year I tell myself I should invest in a blue light. Maybe this is the year to do it. IDK, trying not to accumulate more stuff, but this might be a good investment.
I am going to buy a daylight lamp for waking up...daylight alarm clock that brightens like the sun for the Winter. I am doing everything i can to make Winter easier this year!
Not the best day, but sticking to my plan, for the most part. Think I ate too much meat at dinner, but I wasn't stuffed.
Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!
There's not much that keeps me from wanting to overeat. One of the few things that does, is coming here and seeing that there are people that struggle with many of the same food desires, but can successfully manage them. Reading your entries and HOP's entries (and others) reminds me that it's possible to actually get to a decent weight and learn to maintain.
Lots of mixed feelings, but not much to say. Except that I'm praying for our Maria and her family, facing the impending hurricane from the Atlantic. Praying for everyone facing this...
Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!
I have been having lots of emotions as of late. I was really mean to my sister in how i let her know i didn't approve of her actions or rather inaction. i may have gone overboard especially that she's pregnant, but i cannot apologize at all because if i do apologize then she will take it as i was wrong...which i don't want....my bday was another interesting time with my parents...and i was extremely confrontational on fb messages to my sister letting her know 100% i didn't approve of her not wishing me a happy bday on facebook...i called her selfish for knowing that i like facebook but not thinking of me to wish me a bday there. i told her i had to defriend her, because she had told me she's not into facebook, wasn't on it all day (doubt that) and that she'd prefer not to wish me a happy bday there...which i thought was strange. so, i defriended her..i'll write about it on my page....
I support you 100% but I do remember those pregnancy hormones taking my emotions for a rollercoaster.
Feeling that nice ache in my arms and legs from Sunday's weights.
I ate more than usual, unfortunately. I guess it goes hand in hand. I do plan to do a shorter weight session tomorrow, thinking either legs or triceps/back.
Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!
don't worry about overdoing the eating all the time...i also had an issue due to CAKE!!!!!!!!! i had a big slice! after a big meal! so now i'm working on it....
enjoy your day, lady.
After getting the refrigerator set up -- which was not an easy endeavor -- we ended up going out to dinner. Had a big salad - of which I ate all of, and helped my daughter finish the giant slice of cheesecake.
Got up this morning and stuck to the program. After no weight-training after last Monday, I did a full routine this morning. I'm feeling that pleasant ache in my arms and legs (slightly) this morning. This may be more intense tomorrow, or maybe not. But I'm starting to see some nice definition in my arms which I want to keep up.
Trying not to think about work hardly at all today, but I do have a few files that are weighing heavily on my mind, and so now that I've typed that here, I won't spend one more minute of life today thinking or feeling about it until Monday.
Chilly, windy, but sunny today. Definitely feeling like fall today, but will have one more warm-up towards next weekend. As long as I don't have to turn on the AC, I'll be fine with that.
Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!
Good job on the weights.
yes, no need to hound your thoughts on work on your day off :)
Today is not off to the best start. Bad weigh-in, the Ironman scale wasn't any kinder, registering at 131.6.
Discouraged... Frustrated... Angry.
Taking husband to the doctor this morning. Refrigerator comes late this afternoon. Life can start returning to normal.
It's frustrating when you do everything right and you gain weight.
Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!
Even though the scale number is discouraging, you still have the same exact 2 options. Stay on plan or fall off the wagon. Stay on plan and next weigh-in will probably be back down into the 120's again. Fall off the wagon and feel even more discouraged / frustrated / angry for additional weeks in a row.
I've got to focus FORWARD on what I can do/change NOW -- not was or has been. I'm staying on plan, and my part of my plan for today and this week is to start working with weights again.
This might help me monitor better what works and what doesn't - rather than just writing down numbers on a calendar booklet.
The new refrigerator is completely overwhelming -- way too many features, functions, etc. --- so I'm still trying to figure it out. But it looks pretty- and it keeps the food cold, which is what is important.
next, you will have to debate if you can make changes to keep weight lower if that's your wish.
good luck at dr and thank gosh the fridge is coming <3
keep your head up, do not be so angry with the scale...be true to yourself. see if there were things you didn't count, extra cheese, or something like that. the weight gain may not be from this week....when i'm eating more cals, the weight shows up like 2 weeks later.
Like Gains said, I can choose to go off the deep end, or I can choose to stay on path. So anger will serve me not.
What a week... and I still have to get through today.
There's been a lot of stress lately: work (of course), but also with my home life. My husband is completely stressed out and it is affecting many aspects of home.
Regretfully (?), I took this week off from weight training, although I caught myself 2x tempted to pick up the weights and do something. That MUST be a good sign.
So my focus this weekend is less stress.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
I liked the coloring book idea.
your husband needs a hobby at home, i think...
good job getting thru the week.
my weeks have been extra chaotic too....i'm going to have to say "no" to people soon...in terms of plans / activities / commitments so that my own goals are not negatively impacted due to being too tired & stressed to work out!
keep your head up. remember you are working and your husband is not...he needs to remember this, too.
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Unfortunately your husband isn't going to lose until he is ready.....not a pleasant thought...but true unfortunately. And I vote that you get a cat if you want one...cats are cool....get a snuggly sweet one. ( besides...I doubt that you want a scratchy bitey one!) I give you props for sticking to your veggies and not falling prey to the pasta....he may be sabotaging you because he is uncomfortable with his weight and he would like you to join him instead of him joining you in slender land. I vote...(if I have a vote)...that you keep eating what you want to eat and keep what you want for a weight...and make extra...and just sit those extra healthy things right there NEXT to his unhealthy things......so that he can have some too if he wants....just like kids who don't want to eat things....just keep making them available for all and you have done your job...maybe he will find his way......or maybe not.….but you will have tried.
Maria7 on 09/20/2018:
Well said, agree w BC above... Having that healthy choice in sight might very well make a big difference... As for cats, we have 3...Siamese..love them...One is 'Pretty Boy' a very beautiful cat, aka 'Monster' who is a biter..but he is also the daddy of our 2 half-grown kittens, who are each very cuddly and adore being petted...But in saying this about the cats, they are WORK in taking care of them and expensive as well....but rewarding, too...
Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2018:
Yup, there's the days of zero motivation, glad you stuck to it :) I'm sure you were glad you did after you worked out and ate well!
If i was told to lose 50lbs, i might freak out first. It's a lot of weight. Perhaps, if he needs to lose, he should just concentrate on 5 lbs...try to lose 5lbs...and go from there, i think he should cut his weight loss goal to a much smaller increment - that's if he even wants to....like the two other comments say...
with your husband, feel free to share your concerns, but i wouldn't mention the "50#" often, possibly invite him to ride the bike while you lift weights...you may have to "invite him" and help him...but don't try so hard if he doesn't...save your energy...just try this approach is my suggestion.
it sounds like he needs some "external motivation," like yourself, outside of him...