Still struggling with anxiety. My heart really goes out to those who suffer from panic attacks and such, because this is a most uncomfortable feeling. It seems to have eased up a little this afternoon. This morning and last night were uncomfortable. Last night, took CBD oil, melatonin, AND sleepytime tea to try to unwind. This morning, I was at Walmart to buy a new bird feeder because the squirrels pretty much ruined the last one I had (and repaired twice), and my husband starts texting me all this meat to buy. Um, it wasn't really THAT kind of a shopping trip.
Came home and made a BIG batch of brussels sprouts with bacon. I've been having an aversion to bacon the past 3 weeks or so. I think the real issue is that it hasn't been cooked enough for me to tolerate it. I like it almost burnt. I seemed to tolerate it OK with this recipe, but only because I cooked it quite thoroughly.
Had a nice telephone call from our son.
Did not go for a walk today - at least not yet. Maybe later, but then.. maybe not. Did my morning bike ride, but after that, I think a day of rest would be good.
Yesterday, much to my dismay, I found out that our new kitty has been using the futon comforter as her litter box. Earlier this week, my husband told me that there had been a big cat fight at the litter boxes, where our Old Kitty went to battle with our New Kitty. So now we think that New Kitty is afraid to use the boxes downstairs in the basement. The futon is in an upstairs guest room where we kept her when we first got her (with a litter box at that time). Last week (?), she was accidently locked in there, when the wind closed the door. We think she was trapped for a day.... maybe just overnight?
Needless to say, I've been trying very hard to get the poop and urine smell out of the room and bedding. Some of it can't go through the washing machine. SO -- the reason I went to Walmart was to get a pet stain/odor treatment spray. I also realized that the floor needed to be picked up and mopped up. It will take a week - maybe 2 - to complete the cleaning, because I have to allow the enzyme solution to work and dry out before I can tell if it's worked. Thankfully, the weather has turned mild and delightful, so the windows in that room can stay open, and the door is shut from ANYBODY going in there. Just a lot of extra work and stress that I hadn't counted on.
Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!
Weighed in today... I had my scale in the bathroom closet, with several rolls of toilet paper on top of it, maybe 4? Anyway, I had a hard time getting a consistent number on the scale -- stepped on it 4 or 5 times, before I finally got a reading consistent 2x in a row, at 136. I had one at 135, a few in the middle, and one at 138. So, I'm still maintaining, pretty much.
In spite of leaving work early, it was a difficult day for me, mentally. I went to work, dreading it, because Nice Lady is going through something right now and has to talk and talk and talk about it all day long. It's really hard to listen to her for too long -- I think she's going about this the wrong way and completely making additional drama in her life because of it. If I had my own private office space, it would be easier for me, but I'm kind of the Front Desk person -- which makes no sense because I'm one of the busiest people there. So I'm always in the middle of pretty much every conversation.
So going into work yesterday, I knew the drama would be there right away. And it was. I came home and husband had his own drama storm, which I listened too, but then he kind of went off on in his own world, rather than us doing stuff together. OK, that's fine, I guess, but kind of disappointing.
All this toxicity did not put me in the right frame of mind for Chair Yoga, so I just went through the motions again. Not really feeling any relaxation from that at all. Part of the problem is that the chairs are too tall for my short legs, so I can't do the leg positions properly which throws everything else off. My husband really liked it though, and that's the important thing.
The restaurant afterwards was OK too. Met up with daughter, which was nice for a change. Had a good salad - ate half of it. I caved in, though and had a slice of sugar-free chocolate cream pie. I wasn't going to, but the husband said he was ordering pie, and I caved. It was good, but afterwards, I felt a little too full. Went for a walk with daughter after we got home, since it was still light enough outside. Just a 25 minute walk around the neighborhood.
We're supposed to get some relief from the hot and humid conditions we've been having all week. My goal is to turn off the AC sometime today and start saving up money on the electric bill. (yikes)
I have no tasks or errands - other than my laundry and cleaning up a little bit - this weekend at all. I don't do well with unstructured time.
Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!
That is so strange they put you in front. You must also be so NICE to everyone i bet!
I hope you are able to turn off the air, you know i'd do the same in your case if A/C was a separate bill and not just a standard payment in my rent. it's nice to have the windows open and fresh air coming thru, especially at night!
So you have to modify the chair positions at chair yoga...sorry! but, despite that, i urge you to try to push any emotions or thoughts out more, try to get into this chair yoga, to block out everynoe in that room besides the teacher....do it for YOU. do it to feel more relaxed. i'm not positive the environment will lead to this, but, you can try. just my take on it, from an outsider, that you can try to "be in the moment, erase any thoughts prior in the day," during yoga. which can be a nice thing. and unfortunately, if all the chairs are the same, you'll have to modify somewhat - i know the feeling of being short! ;)
Nice to hear it was a good family dinner with your daughter too. She sounds like a WONDERFUL daughter. :) for real. :) :) :)
and the walk sounds the BEST. 25 min is a nice walk. it's better than just sitting around like i am, these few days.
but honestly, for once (well actually a few times) in my life, i am enjoying being sedentary bc being injured isn't something i want for an extensive period and i know rest and sleep and relaxation are what i need in order to PROGRESS. so a few short days, even a couple weeks, of doing less will eventually have me doing more when i feel better. sorry, this last paragraph is me only...
when i read Legs' entries, i'm so motivated - yours too! - you both do more cardio than me. I have goals to do more, but, also, it's important to have balance. Lately i look more at balance.
With your issues with coworkers at work and their issues lol, try not to personalize it, like try not to take their emotions in as your emotions. You are definitely an "empath." like a person that is highly affected by others' feelings and emotions. It's good for others but can be frustrating at times to you! when you listen to their problems, you can learn from them - be thankful you aren't in their place in these instances. You have your own struggles and you aren't responsible to heal the world. Let their struggles be a reminder to you - to take care of yourself. I'm actually NOT KIDDING.
So the epiphany is that I DO need to take better care of myself! Whatever happens around me, I need to find a better way to preserve myself foremost. In yoga, we inhale the good and exhale the bad. Kind of like that -- the good experiences flow in and through, the bad is to be blown away.
Not a stretch to go from Donkey to Ducky. ;-)
Not a good day. Very anxious. Feeling very uncomfortable here.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
is it hormonal? or just stress of going to work after the 4th? It can be very difficult to go into work when you know most people are off...
I hope you feel better :)
Happy 4th of July - happy Thursday! Thursday is my favorite day of the week.
Being a holiday here, I have today off . Tomorrow, I plan to leave work early -- hopefully 1pm, but by 4pm at the latest. My boss even said to me that I am to leave early on Friday (meaning, take a break). Chair yoga tomorrow night and then meeting our daughter for dinner at the local family diner for dinner (unless she changes her mind). I'm already planning on having one of their beautiful salads.
So I've noticed some progress in my upper arms, but not seeing any muscle cuts (lean-ness). Nobody else has said anything though, so either it's me being delusional (in a hopeful way) or it's just not noticeable by others. That's OK, I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
I hope you are able to leave work more around 1pm so you can go home, either do errands or RELAX or even walk, before the chair yoga.
I am also a fan of the diner salads! usually they are so nice and big, when diners do them right!
Not everyone, especially coworkers, are going to comment on any definition of your arms at least not right away unless you have that kind of bond with them i would think? also, you will notice the progress way ahead of everyone else...
you know how a lot of people start a diet or exercise plan and quit because the results "don't come fast enough!?" Well, i'm glad you aren't taking that escape route!!! because everything you do, these workouts and healthy eating, it HELPS and WORKS!
Today is day 3 of staying away from artificial sweeteners. Yesterday afternoon was HARD. Started CRAVING something sweet at around 2:30 p.m. Ended up having flavored coffee with cream, no sweet. That was enough to get me through the end of the work day. I fell a little short of my water goal but that's ok.
I was able to connect with Yoga Mat Lady and now I am the proud owner of a nice thick yoga mat for $8! I hope to do some stretching on it this morning and a yoga DVD session tonight. Plus, I bet it would be nice for the daily pushups and sit ups I do.
Speaking of which, I took a rest day on those last night. My knee has been sore and overall, I'm feeling more tired, too. Haven't been getting enough sleep, but this is also monthly hormones.
And speaking of taking a break, I haven't returned to weights yet! I'm going on 1.5 weeks with no weights.. This is how easy it is for me to fall out of regular weight training. It's just not my thing.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
also, nice job on resting up. it seems i'm going to have to rest a LOT in order to feel better with my left leg and ankle...like, i probably cannot do the ladder for two weeks. even my squats i can tell it's best just to lay off everything. i will just do upper body tonight. it's so hard to just rest, i know, but i also know what happens if you keep pushing - and that is WORSE!
also, with the weights, you'll have to stick to your schedule. it is you. if you want it, you have to schedule it ;)
with the knee, see if there's any stretches online, but it's smart you are resting it.
like you i've been much more tired and not sleeping right - and it is best to be able to rest. that's my plan for the long weekend.
Trying to get up a little earlier this so that I can go for a walk in the mornings.
So proud of myself: yesterday, I did not have any flavor packets in my water. I've become dependent on them, and they have artificial sweetener in them. I used lime slices mostly, but I used orange herbal tea for one of the 24 ounces I drink. (My daily goal is to drink at least 100 ounces a day.) So this is a huge victory for me. Now, just gotta keep it up.
I should add that I use sugar alcohols in my coffee, sometimes, but trying really hard to kick the aspertame, saccharine, and Splenda habit. That stuff is poison. Plus I think it messes with my sugar cravings. It's not good, and my reliance on these artificial sweeteners (as opposed to sugar alcohols) is something that I've really wanted to break away from for quite some time.
Knocking out one vice at a time...
Decided that rather than try to push a walk this morning, I'd be better off using my time productively to get stuff done before leaving for work. I'll try again tomorrow morning.
So today is probably the last day I'll give for Yoga Mat Lady. This is just too hard and getting to be too time consuming.
Work was OK yesterday. Just busy enough. The carpets didn't get cleaned - so I went to work early yesterday for nothing - because my boss got the date mixed up. I'm not sure what's going on with him, but like in the last 1-2 months, he's gotten kind of bad with remembering things.
It's going to be another really hot day today...
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
either way, you were up early today and able to accomplish things before work - nicely done!
i agree, enough is enough if the yoga mat lady is out of contact with you, you have to move on!
well, you were responsible to go early - but it just goes to show that if you were at work normal time, you could have began your day the typical way. did you leave early the day you came early? (yesterday)
you said your boss is ready to retire...must be why he is forgetting..possibly also a health condition?
Completely lost track of time and did not realize it was the beginning of a new month!
I just realized I have to go to work early, to put back my ice furniture that was displaced over the weekend while the carpets were being cleaned.... sigh..... I had other plans for the morning, which is why I got up earlier than usual.
I'm giving Yoga Mat 1 more try this week, and then I'm moving on. Now I'm thinking about upgrading my weight bench, that has the leg curl/extension. THAT would get used. Plus, my current bench is quite old and not very stable. Might be a nice birthday present...
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
OMG thank you for reminding me we are in JULY!
Yes, you need a good weight bench. i have a brand which is cheap, but very stable. i'll let you know the brand. my bench isn't with any frills or extensions but maybe you can find one of the same brand.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B072Z1WN4S/ref=ppx_od_dt_b_asin_title_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Another blazin' hot day today... and then the storms are coming this afternoon. They're supposed to be heavy and quick. I hope my milkweed survives.
I woke up at 4:40a on my own - startled by a dream. I wanted to get up, I should have gotten up, but I just could not get my body to meet with my mind. Fell back asleep until almost 7am, so by the time I was done with the morning bike, it was already very warm outside. I was toying with whether or not I should walk outside - versus resting - but I love being outside. So I went for a walk. It was supposed to be a short route - not the long route I took on Saturday - but I still stretched it out a little, so it ended up being almost an hour? Maybe an hour? LOVE IT!!!
Not sure what's on the agenda for today. I have to do a shopping run... I want to go back to the library and check out a movie... waiting for Yoga Mat Lady to get back to me. Maybe I should reach out to her? ... Husband wants to go to the hardware store.
I think I mentioned here that on Friday, we went to a cookout that one of our neighbors had. It was very good and it was nice to catch up with folks. BUT -- afterwards, it really hit me how some people are really struggling in life -- not financially, this time -- but just trying to get throug the day, figure things out, who they are and where they fit in this world -- if they fit at all. Chronic pain - physical and emotional - where just getting out of bed some days is a struggle. I've been there, too, but it's easy to forget or realize that there are others out there really, truly struggling.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
However, I've gradually slipped into the mindset that you've mentioned about: do your own thing, be kind, keep to yourself (OK, that last part is mine). And now I'm more comfortable with staying a little longer here.
When we move, it's going to be a destination, not an escape.
Def reach out to eh lady about the mat.
I love that you love the library. isn't it just the best? I just realized that i can log into amazon and also the library sites on a laptop or my phone and hook it up to my TV to watch all free movies at home. SO WONDERFUL! since trying to fix my computer at home, Ricky should be how EASY it is to do. I just need to buy my own cable instead of using his :) so cool!
For both of us, me and you, we have come VERY FAR from when we first started here on DD. We've BOTH been though a lot and we see the difference in keeping a positive outlook. that's the difference also sometimes between us and the people who are struggling much more than we are.
Finally logging in today! I did not write this morning, because the air was already getting quite warm at 8:30a and I realized that if I wanted to get in a walk outside, I needed to get it done in the morning! Good thing too, because right now, it's "feels llike 108" outside.
So I enjoyed my usual morning bike ride, and rather than sitting outside to drink a cup of coffee, it was already too uncomfortable for that, so I went for the walk - nice & long. Started doing some light chores, including laundry. All of the laundry is outside drying in the baking sun. When the AC is on, I do not use the dryer or the oven. I'll fluff up all of the laundry tonight, when it's cooler out, with a very quick 10 minutes in the dryer.
I ran a couple of quick errands -- kicking myself because I feel like I should have spent more time at the library and checked out a positive book. Right now, I'm plodding through the World War 2 book.
My husband knows about my quest for dumbbells, and wants to get me some nice (new) dumbbells for my upcoming birthday. I asked him not to because I'm serious giving thought to WHAT direction I want to take my workouts in. I mentioned last weekend trying a new weight routine, but I only did that for 1 day before deciding to take a week off from weights -- still doing push-ups and sit-ups every night -- and I'm glad that I did. So maybe it's just as well that the Dumbbell Lady on Facebook Marketplace never got back to me. Speaking of which....
I found a yoga mat on FB that has been for sale for a while. I thought it was too much to spend at $8, but after finally reading the description, I decided to ask if it was still available, because it's supposively a thicker mat - and it has a nice carrying strap to go with it. A thicker matt is a more comfortable mat. The lady selling it says it's still available, but she's busy today -- I interrupted her at a bridal shower, LOL! -- so hopefully I'll have a chance to look at it tomorrow. Wish me luck on that!
But in the meantime, I hope to do weights tonight while watching TV tonight. Shower & get ready for bed. Read until lights out. The perfect evening - to me, at least!
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
Good idea to save your electricity by only lightly needing the dryer at night! what a great idea!!!!! my electrical is not paid for separate but included as a flat fee in the rent, so, if i were in your situation, what a good idea.
Which WW2 book is it?
The yoga mat sounds good for $8 especially if it's thicker. I was just given, "free," from my coworker a HUGE 5'x6' heavy, thick mat for a workout. she wants me to give her a gift card for $25 as payment to the guy she's seeing, so, i have to get that - TODAY! omg thank you for reminding me!
Happy Friday!!! It doesn't seem real yet; I'm not feeling it yet, but that's okay. It WILL come!
I made the right decision last night to skip the Catholic yoga. If it is offered again for free, I might check it out, depending on where I'm at with God.
Queen Bee stopped by the office yesterday, and it was a good visit, now that we don't have to deal with her constant drama. It will be interesting to see if she comes back to the office after the summer is over or if this "working from home" will be more permanent.
Cookout at the neighbors' tonight. Kind of nice change, actually, although I prefer to stay at home.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
Speaking of that paragraph i just wrote about, i am now (after this crazy week) realizing that even with work i will need better boundaries - in regards to OT, i did it and went crazy this week just because i wanted it done. but it was a bit too stressful for me. so i have to rethink my approach with OT and when this scenario comes up again.....once again, sleep has become a priority and when i don't get it, i simply feel it for a couple days more...ok, back to you!
I am SURE queen bee will continue working from home?! right!? it's a special thing she has, i'm sure she won't want to give it up. but i am also sure she'll be paying you guys more visits because she likes being the center of attention and must miss that!
Remember my first paragraph. go to the cookout, but, you may leave when you want to. don't feel bad. leave when you are ready and want to go back home.
you sound good. I hope the weekend is a good one for you.
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Did you try some B vitamins......and a long soak in a warm tub? I have to always keep the cat in mind now when I notice a closed door around here too. Have you ever used those new disposable litter boxes? I haven't because I suspect they might get too expensive...I think they are made of cardboard...but I'm tempted to try one.......maybe the new little one would like her own in that room at least for awhile especially if she goes to that room for some alone time....of course the other cat might use it too......I have run into that cats going on the bed before but luckily everything was machine washable.......I hope the new cleaner works for you. I really have never searched out our cats in the past.....but with this one we are always looking for him it seems.....before we just all lived around each other.......but this one we are always keeping an eye on........probably because we have the time now.....it would be so easy though to have this one end up closed in a room too...they are so quiet.
Horn_of_plenty on 07/08/2019:
I'm sorry you are feeling this way but i KNOW you will feel better :) Sometimes it's good to rest and not exercise. Extra rest might get you feeling better too.
Why did you choose a bacon recipe if you aren't enjoying? Or did your taste for it come back a bit? You probably could have made the brussels without bacon? just asking ;)
How's your son doing?
Ahhh new kitty is really putting you to work!
innerpeace on 07/08/2019:
Today marks the 9th anniversary my son graduated from Air Force Basic Training. I know this thanks to the great Facebook memories that pops up and that made me miss my son. I hope yours is liking the military too.
I love cats, but the smell of their urine is just awful, I hope the enzyme solution works. My DH will not let me have a cat - well he would, but then said if I got a cat he would move out, right now we are still on good terms, but that one time he messes up, I just may have a new room mate. For real though, the last cats I had shredded my door frames and I swore I never would get another, but I miss having the snuggles. Have a great day.
Horn_of_plenty on 07/11/2019:
i've been continuing the CBD oil too. i like it during my workouts in the cup with seltzer.