Slowly coming back down in numbers. It was a good week, eating-wise. Good choices, good portions, for the most part. Trying to cut out the sugar-free hard candies in bed while I read at night, before bed. I'm down to just one, and hopefully I can do something to eliminate that last one. I really would like to see myself back - solidly - in the 120s, though.
As I mentioned in my last entry, I have been battling fatigue this week. Not so much as being tired, as just feeling exhausted in my muscles - but can't say it's muscle-related, per se. It just goes that deep. I had to curtail my 2nd lower body weight routine on Tuesday because I just didn't have the energy and just wanted to go to bed. Felt the same way Wednesday but forced myself to do a full workout on the upper body because my favorite episode of Star Trek TNG was on. Otherwise I do not think I could have made it.
I read in a Facebook group that it's good to mix up heavy and light weight workouts. I was wondering if I did my weekend upper/body splits with heavy weights... of maybe doing my workday workouts with lighter dumbbells. Especially with work starting to get busy, I've been coming home later each day, with dinner time being around 6pm instead of 5:30p this past week.
Legal clinic this morning was pretty much a waste of my time - a whole Saturday morning, gone *poof*. The organization is in a prolonged state of change and the disorganization that comes along with change. It's not really rewarding any more, except that I really like the people that I work with at the clinic. We've been together as a cohesive group for about 9 years now. Funny, we really do not do anything together outside of clinic, which meets 1x a month, for 10 months out of the year. Yet, I really look forward to meeting up with these folks and hearing what's going on in their lives and such.
Well, at least I have the rest of my weekend for myself, and I do plan to enjoy it and make the most of it!
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
Logging in from my phone, which I hate doing, but I will not have time to do so otherwise. I had intended to log in at work, but it's getting too busy now to do that. I get caught up on emails, turn to a task, and come back to 9 more emails. The last week of March, Mistakes Girl is going on vacation, which means even more work for me.... Lots of overtime, but I'd rather be not so busy.
Not stressed out but Monday is the last day I will see my son before bootcamp. Tuesday is my doctor's appointment with the GI doctor.
On top of everything, I've been fighting this awful fatigue. Feeling so drained every morning, and some afternoons, although yesterday I was on overdrive to get everything done.
Then, just this morning I realized that I have legal clinic on Saturday so I won't be able to sleep in to get extra rest.
Eating has been ok but had to abbreviate my 2nd weight training espisode on Tuesday - legs - because I was so tired. No hopes for a good weigh-in tomorrow.
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
Soon the WEATHER will change for the better, and it will help both of us along. It's been a long, cold Winter and the time change hasn't helped!
Feeling pretty good this morning! Yesterday, I had this awful feeling of fatigue that I just could not shake off until after dinner - when it's almost time for bed! Pushed through my bike rides and upper body weights. I did much better last night with sweets cravings. It was my husband's birthday, so I made him a dish of brownies, per his request, and I thawed out some of my chocolate keto cake for myself. I was satisfied with that.
I am happy to report that I think I have found a (natural) sweetener that will work for my coffee: Lakanto Monkfruit Sweetener. Minimal aftertaste. I tried giving stevia one more try this morning, and the metallic aftertaste is just... NO. That's too bad because I believe that it is the healthiest sugar alternative out there. Swerve does not work for me for coffee. So I've been using Sweet N Low (saccharine), with reluctance, but it was the only thing that would work for me. The monkfruit is not as sweet, but that's OK. And FYI, while I usually have a sweetener in my coffee, I do not always have it. Once in a while, I just want a cup of coffee with cream.
Today is lower body weights. I must be sure to wear proper footwear for support. Last time, I didn't, and that lead to some soreness that I had to stretch out. I slept pretty well, in spite of turning the clocks an hour ahead and losing that time to sleep. I think today will be mostly spent at home, although Mr. Donkey has a movie w/discussion thing he signed up for at the library. I'm not signed up, but I will happily take him and/or pick him up.
I received an online message from my doctor, letting me know that my ultrasound came back OK, with the exception of a 2.6cm cyst on my ovary, which is not the cause of the anemia, but something to be monitored. She wants me to have another ultrasound in about 6 weeks to see if the cyst is changing, and to pursue an appointment with a GI doctor, which I am doing. I want to see when the scope is scheduled, and then I will request the follow-up ultrasound.
This is the last full week we'll have our son here at home.
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
I have heard of that sweetener. I also DO LIKE monkfruit's taste! you just have to find what works for you! :) Stevia is basically what i started with - and never stopped.
Someone at work made a joke that "everyone gets cancer" and why not just use the "pink packet" when i told him there was Stevia right there, too, and he could take it (and it's more expensive!)....i didn't like his joke either! thought it was harsh...! he was young and i doubt he has known anyone too close with it or i don't think he would've said it....but it's ok, he's ok! basically we don't know the effects of anything, but in moderate quantities i feel things are OK...so i'm not trying to worry you AT ALL. i do believe moderation is a wonderful thing!
like you, i like to change up my coffees and not always have everything tasting the same!
I've been splitting up workouts, too..it's going to have to happen for home workouts during the week as i see that sleep is simply more important than a long late night workout...i'm going to have to "workout" on more days, which, is probably healthier and will probably have more benefits! (like daily calorie burns increasing!)
Keep us updated with the cyst. it's true sometimes things like that may disappear...depends on many things. Keep positive and watchful!
As for your son, I am SO HAPPY FOR HIM! so proud! keep positive and remind him to stay positive and knowing it can be a difficult proccess, the training he's entering, it will be challenging, but to keep on and finish :) he's come so far already. so happy for your son!!!!!!!!!!!!
After the week that I've had, I'm surprised that the numbers on the scales aren't higher. I was truly expecting to see 136 this morning. My focus this week is to focus on eating. It's always the eating part that trips me up, LOL. Yesterday, and specifically, last night, was the best I've done all week, with respect to sweets, nighttime eating, etc., so hopefully, I'm back on track. I think I had better luck with low-carb eating than keto eating. Well, weight-wise, I did better with low carb, but having the extra fat and protein with keto, the numbers on the scale are a bit higher, but I feel much better.
So Horn has been asking a couple of times when it was that I decided that I'm on maintenance. I went back and looked at previous entries, to find that I reached my goal at the end of June 2017. The "problem" was that after that, I went on to lose another 12 pounds. I think my lowest weight this time around was 124 or 124.5, and even then I wasn't really thinking maintenance. And now I am gaining weight back, still under goal, but...
It's like I keep moving the carrot (reward) from the Donkey (me) so that I never reach my end-goal. Maybe I'm gaining back weight so that I can keep the "gotta lose weight" mentality, because I don't know what it feels like to say, "I've accomplished this, way to go." Most keto dieters shift from strict keto to low carb once they reach goal weight. I seem to have done the opposite, but not with maintenance in mind. Well... what I'm going for is a leaner look, to shed the puffiness that comes from eating carbs.
So while I've been at goal or lower for almost 2 years, I haven't changed my weight-loss mentality. I would like to change this outlook. Part of that is focusing on the weight training more. So for the remainder of this month, I want to focus on getting back on track with eating (emotional eating, etc.) and changing my mentality to maintenance. Really, this is it. So that when we start April, I will start keeping a diary about maintenance, not weight-loss. **this may end up being boring reading material for y'all but hang in there with me!
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
When i first reached "goal" for my sister's wedding, that Spring in April, i did gain easily before summer just under 5 lbs and i realized i was going to have to watch it. I have only had just under 5lbs or so a gain during maintenance of my weight. I know from past experience that it wouldn't be wise to try to maintain any lower a number..
i do not believe in a puffy look when eating carbs bc the only "lean and mean" look is less body fat, IMO.
nothing you write will bore me!!! :) i love to read what you write! :)
This has been a REALL. TOUGH. WEEK. At least eating-wise. I think "thinkpositive" said it best where it's been difficult to keep my eye on the prize. I've had a couple of things really stress me out, and my response has been to eat. The sugar-free chocolates are gone, and most of the keto chocolate cake is gone; the rest is in the freezer not to be touched AT ALL. I still have a batch of fat bombs, but I didn't make those as sweet this time, so they don't really do it for me as far as binge-eating on sweets.
In a nutshell, these are the things that have really thrown me off the deep end this week:
It's been a struggle all week, mostly eating 4+ sugar free chocolates. However, last night, I just gave up; it was my son's news (which is a fantastic thing for him!). Finished up the last 2 chocolates, had 3 fat bombs, and then a huge piece of keto chocolate cake.
The bright side is that I had loads of energy this morning, and I did not eat breakfast until 10:30a. But this is not good for me, nor is it the way I want to live.
Speaking of which, I've decided that I've been eating too many artificial sweeteners. (This is NOT what has sent me off the deep end, as my weight loss was achieved using sweeteners. That is 100% an emotional response.) So I've stepped away from the protein bars I usually have for breakfast. I'm trying not to drink water with added flavor packets, etc. That's one reason why I packed away the keto cake in the freezer... just need to do better, but it's hard. REALLY HARD.
Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!
once you start eating sweet things, you want more sweet things. so it's always good to pull back, yeah. i'm Queen of sweet things, i am sure you know! "stevia to the rescue!"
you can always freeze the fat bombs.
i totally relate to you that eating is used as a "bandaid" over the emotional situations. i do the same but work at it too. at least we know how to make healthier choices than we used to and binges are no longer as terrible in general. you've come a long way.
do you remember when you "decided" you were in Maintenance or when you reached the maintenance numbers on the scale?
Logging in from work, because I have time here that I didn't have this morning, and I have things I want to talk about.
Completed my 2nd lower body heavy weights workout last night. So one week under the belt, and I'm so glad I'm doing this. I've decided pretty much that I am not going to get any more refills on the amino acid supplements I was taking for "muscle recovery". I think it would serve me better to just eat or drink some source of protein after weights. Now that I know that the muscle fatigure I was feeling is more likely due to being so anemic, rather than just depleted.
I finally mentioned this to my husband last night, but I don't think he really heard me, and so now I'm mentioning it here: I'm rather stressed out about these medical issues. I know that I don't need to be, at least not right now because for now we don't know anything. And if it's just anemia, that will be OK. I mean to say, it's not like I have cancer. I know this logically; however, emotionally, I'm really struggling with keeping calm on the inside. So what did I do to try to calm myself down? Eat almost an entire bag of sugar free chocolate candy. DO NOT DO THIS. Even if malitol does not cause you gas or diarrhea, this is NOT a smart thing to do. I am REALLY regretting my actions from last night this morning.
Today is picture day at work, and of course, I feel just awful:
With the bloat, the overeating, and heavier weight training, I do not anticipate a very good weigh-in this Saturday. However, I took a look in the mirror: very pleased with arms and legs progress - coming along quite nicely!
Well all I can do is try to do better today. So that is what I will do.
Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!
I've planned for a "sick day" and will NOT prob do a full exercise or long walk, but, i WILL walk to all appointments (they are all around 1/2 mile away, that's it and it's only 2 different locations!) that day...i'm not sure i'll be walking more, depends on weather..
i plan to GO TO LIBRARY :) and research Paris more between on the appts...we shall see if i change my mind!
I feel like i got to maintenance maybe a full year or so before you decided you were at maintenance...that whole first year i was still learning how to maintain especially bc i think the week into the wedding i was eating rather low cals and low cals all that last month i'm sure so i remember after reaching maintenance i was quick to gain after my sister's wedding in april 2016 (now already 3 years ago!). since then i have maintained (so 3 years i've been in maintenance - HOW LONG FOR YOU IN MAINTENANCE??). what i'm trying to say is, when you add in the weight training stuff and starting to eat diff foods, these are variables that will affect your maintenance of course!
Malitol DOES cause me gas and of course worse things!
even if you are bloated, it will NOT show in picture day ;)
I hope you feel better soon. I am glad you are noticing change in your body already, i am sure there is!
Made it through yesterday. I just realized that my upper body workout was the best part of yesterday, so that's saying something!
The ultrasound was not so bad, but I am glad that it is over, and also glad that I do not have to do this on a regular basis. Even drinking the 32 ounces of water an hour before was not so difficult. Unpleasant, but not difficult. My husband came with me, and I'm glad that he did. Moral support was very helpful.
I actually had 2 ultrasounds: one was on my pelvis, and it was so neat to see my insides: uterus, ovaries... At one point, the tech was taking measurements of something, and without thinking I said, "OH MY GOSH IS THAT WHOLE THING A FIBROID???" She said, "We're not allowed to say anything about the ultrasound," to which I replied, quite embarrassed, "Yes, of course, I understand, I'm terribly sorry." I think what I was seeing was actually my entire uterus.
The second part of the ultrasound was transvaginal. I could not see the screen for that part. I had to work hard to relax, but I did it quite well. If you relax, the procedure is not painful or nearly as uncomfortable as it would be if you are not relaxed. She kind of walked me through what she was doing ("Now I'm looking at your right ovary..."). Fascinating!
My doctor should have these results by the end of the week. I see a GI doctor in 2 weeks (from yesterday) to (probably) set up a scope. THAT preparation will be difficult. I am not looking forward to that at all. I do not think I need a GI scope other than I'm getting old.
Getting to work an hour late was like being thrown into the deep end of a cold pool. Phones ringing, lenders with questions, email overload.... Not the best way to start one's day under any circumstances. In retrospect, I probably failed to set boundaries for myself (I'm not ready, I need coffee, take a message). However, I sit right outside my boss's office, and if I say, "Take a message" then that sounds like I'm not trying, or that I'm anti-social or not available to our people. That's the thing about my job is that I really have to be at everyone's mercy and demands. It's incredibly unfair, but we're a service industry and that's how it goes.
Tonight is lower body weights. I am so glad that I am challenging myself with these heavier weights. I have also caught myself looking at pricing/offers for the local gyms, for my next step! The best deal is in a totally inconvenient location. The closest cheap place (I could ride my bike there) is Anytime Fitness, which is only staffed 10am-7pm. The other really close place is too expensive and on my "Lottery List" if I ever win the lottery. The gym with a punch-card system is farther away and not convenient. Well, there's time to make this sort of decision later on.
Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!
I work at two Anytime Fitness gyms, and even if they are not staffed, you should still be able to access the gym at 'Anytime'. So unless you need the staff for a specific reason, you can go whenever you want.
The other good thing about Anytime Fitness, here anyways, is that when you become a member you get access to their workout app that you can download for free to your phone. This app shows you a MILLION different exercises you can do - it even provides programs for you to follow for strength workouts - and has a short video for EVERY exercise to actually show you correct form and how to do the movement pattern. It's AWESOME and I highly recommend it - although I am slightly biased!
It's great your husband joined you. That's a good partnership you have with him and as long as he can join you, i think it's the best option too.
Not sure if you remember, but i have training in the field of Xray tech which is similiar to sono tech. That's their typical reply to any questions about what they are looking at. Don't be embarassed, they must say that statement all day long! They might also answer something like "The dr will be the one to share any details with you, etc etc..." Believe it or not, they only take the photos, but they don't diagnose...that's the pay scale / training.
next time, if you have to, pick up a coffee on the way to work if you are coming late? even though you are spending money, it's a way to have it with you...or, just quickly come in and make a coffee first thing, so you don't have to think about it. this is what i do in mornings everyday at work (it works for me). you are allowed a coffee at work, even if late, there's no sign saying otherwise, if it is going to help you get your work done ;) I understand what you feel about it seems like you aren't trying - remember you are your WORST critic and that for 15 minutes people can take calls until you are settled...i think it's ok, but that's just my opinion.
I will not have timem to post tomorrow morning, most likely, as I am leaving for the hospital for my ultrasound at around 7am. I guess I will be drinking water the whole trip down there. Then I am coming home and getting ready for work -- not going to rush getting to work AT ALL.
Today, I felt a nice muscle ache in my lower body from Sunday's weight training. I'm really looking forward to seeing results - if any - to using the 15lb dumbbells. Have to keep the eating in check, though. *sigh*
So even if I'm not posting myself or replies, I am keeping up with your entries.
Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!
Yes, you will see results though it may even take a few months. Yes, the eating needs to be in check too...which YES is hard especially in Winter since (at least in my case) cardio isn't that big yet especially on weekends.
good luck at your appointment today and take your time on the commuting.
I know you will see results with your progression in strength training if you stick to it; just keep trying to follow along with your plan!
Not too sore this morning from working out with the heavier weights (upper body) yesterday. Hmm... With the heavier weights, I find that I have to utilize my workbench more, to help stabilize my arms, or rather, joints, to isolate the movements. Need to take my "before" pictures this morning...
This week, at work, we're supposed to be having a photo session for the firm's website, because since the last photo, 3 people have left, 1 person is new, and the person who was excluded last time (Nice Lady - yes, excluded because she's not part of our firm, but rather paid by Associate Attorney) will be included this time. My hair is normally dark brown, but I have a patch of gray/white hair at my face where my part is. It's not a solid patch, but there's quite a bit of gray there. So I decided that this would not photograph well and want to project a more professional image for something that will be online for the next 5 years. I chose a lighter brown hair color at the store, thinking a lighter brown would look warmer. I was taking an online political quiz when I was letting the dye set, and ended up keeping the dye in my hair way too long.
When I finally got in the shower to rinse it out, I came out of the shower only to find that my hair had turned a bright color of burnt orange. Yes. This morning, now that the hair is dry, it looks more like light brown, but not all of the gray is covered -- I've read that some people's gray hair cannot be colored. For whatever reason, it rejects or cannot absorb the dye. The gray that is left blends in more with the lighter brown, and I'm OK with that. I was not happy about having to color my hair though. The instant I rinsed it out, I missed my gray hair. >>>This could also be a reaction to the hideous orange outcome though, hard to tell what my emotions were other than horrified.
I made the decision to stop dying my hair and go natural because the chemicals are very harsh, and my hair is thin enough already. I didn't feel like I lost that much hair this time around, but I could tell when putting on the dye that my hair really is thin - that I'm not just imagining this. It may be the anemia. I'm hoping that's what it is... It might just be part of getting old.
Speaking of which, on Tuesday, I'm having an ultrasound which will be evaluated by a GI doctor to see if I need to be scoped. Yikes! I'm probably due for another scope anyway. I had one in my early 30s, and there was 1-2 polyps that came back benign. Now that I am approaching 50, it's probably time for another scope, but if I don't need one, I'd be OK with that. It's a very unpleasant, uncomfortable process to cleanse the day before. On the plus side, though, that might help me lose a few pounds, LOL.
Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!
lol to losing a few more pounds bc of the scoping procedures LOL...
i always find that dying hair makes a person look so much younger, but, if you don't want to dye it, it's your preference! they do sell more natural products...
i'm glad you are doing the heavier weights, you will NOT be disappointed. as long as you don't just eat to gain weight, there's no way that lifting will bulk you up as muscle takes up less space than fat! :)
We hate what's good for ourselves, sometimes.
i like feeling young, though the expense for highlights is sorta pricey (i do go the cheapest route but it's still an expense)....but like i said, i do like to do certain things with my appearance to feel young and this hair thing helps me a LOT!...so highlights it is until i start to gray in the back...then i'll prob go back to brown for awhile even though i prefer to be blonde it's too harsh on my head to really do that overall, i'm thinking.
I am home and it feels good to be back. This weekend getaway mini-vacation to relax was just what I needed. I will do this again with Mr. Donkey, probably in the Fall, once the real estate season comes down from the Spring/Summer rush. It was nice to spend time with my husband just "being", with no agenda or plans, other than 5:30p dinner reservations last night. (And we didn't even really need them that early in the evening.)
A few observations:
Today was my first day of heavy weights for upper body. I am going to take a "before" picture so that I have an "after" picture at the end of the month - or maybe when the 15lb weights get too light for me. I never take "before" pictures, because I don't want to remember myself THEN, just NOW. Makes no sense, and then after progress is made, it's like, Wow, I wish I had taken a picture! (DOH!)
I was encouraged to read on one of those keto Facebook pages a post from a woman who gained about 4 pounds but toned up her arms fantastically - I mean, one of those before/after photo shots where you say "WOW". I just have to be able to wrap my head around higher numbers on the scale. But really, now it's more about looking in the mirror and liking what I see and feeling good, from inside to out, rather than relying on the scale for feedback. I'll still weigh in, but it's a different approach.
Part of the reason I wanted to get away was to have time and quiet to think about my future, especially with the prospect of moving in the not-so-far future. I came to a few conclusions:
So nothing really confirmed except that I need to keep working and we need to re-evaluate many more times before our direction becomes clearer.
In the meantime, I need to take care of myself more and not let myself get sucked into all the toxicity around me.
Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!
I'm glad you did the before and after photos. I didn't take many photos when i was unhappy with my body (the before) and now i have no comparison photos. i wish i had the proof of the work i put in! but i'm also just glad i reached this point!
although you don't have answers to everything, at least you have given these questionable topics some thought. is your husband the same age as you, or is he a few years older?
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Same here, i'm working on better choices and taking off a little bit of weight to feel better in my body and clothes!
Let me tell you, i was battling that same, horrible fatigue. I'm feeling MUCH better after sleeping in on the weekend, LATER than usual...so i'm sure it's that we are STILL getting used to the time change as the time i slept in till both yesterday and today is when i would have gotten up if there wasn't a time change (9am today and yesterday, but it would have been 8am without the time change)...so i'm still used to the previous time, if that makes sense!
That makes complete sense to me - and it's helpful to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this.
Yep, catch those little extra pounds now before it becomes more and harder. I know you can do this. As daylight increases and weather warms up, this will become easier and easier to do. I know you got this!
Horn_of_plenty on 03/17/2019:
personally, i'd just choose one way to do the weights. and stick with your routine. i feel once you have a routine, stick with it for a few months. but too much switching for me would be too confusing to stick with...
i agree that even a half hour change in getting home and dinner does conflict with exercise lol...!
I certainly do hope you are enjoying your weekend. days are getting longer and warmer and that's a wonderful thing.
i plan to take advantage of free events locally more this year!
I would like to talk about my upper body weight training last night in today's entry, but I'm going to use this workweek to see if I can tweak up my routine to make it sustainable.
I really enjoy reading about the events that you attend. How was Jerry Seinfield? Not free, for sure, but I bet it was a lot of fun! I've always wanted to partake in free stuff like that, but unless one of my kids or myself were involved, I haven't. I feel like this is something I would like to do more of.