I figure I have returned to my "Real Weight", and now the hard work begins, once again.
Yestesrday was an Angry Day. I find anger a difficult emotion to hand constructively (is this possible?) because anger is so destructive. But at the end of the day, I realized that I had to just let it go and not carry it into the next day (which is today).
It's a work in progress.
I seem to be doing better with the food and exercise. I do an hour of cardio and 4-5 weight training exercises at the gym. I eat about 2000 calories throughout the day.
I try not to focus on negative feelings and put forth effort into the positive. Right now, that's not too difficult, because I'm not engaged in anything too challenging or meaningful right now. So this is a good time to get into the practice of positive.
That and taking it one day at a time.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
I guess I'm still losing binge weight... I usually weigh in on Tuesdays.
I had a great workout at the gym today. My new running shoes were a huge disappointment for running -- inadequate cushioning -- so I decided to see if they would work for me at the gym. I need a new shoe for "at the gym" as well, but I thought running was more important for my sanity's sake.
My new shoe will suffice for the gym. I will have to wait to have more $ to buy a proper running shoe, so this may be it for running for me this year. (Money is kind of tight this year.) And I'm ok with that.
I really enjoy doing cardio, so it occurred to me yesterday that maybe that's what I should be doing! And I love working out my legs -- kind of a love/hate relationship I have with my legs -- so maybe that's what I should be doing! I don't really like working my upper body all that much, so maybe I shouldn't be doing as much of that. (It's still important to do some, though, especially for donkeys my age.)
I also came to the revelation - over the weekend? - that if I continue to binge, I won't lose any weight. If I "need" to binge, ok, well fine, but then don't expect to lose any weight.
You would think this would be obvious, wouldn't you?
But for some reason, all of this hadn't really occurred to me. I was trying to be and do things that aren't really me. And that hasn't worked.
Which is why it's OK if I have to wait to run again. Because maybe it's something I shouldn't be doing right now -- for ME -- and *especially* in shoes that aren't what I need.
Progress as of today: 38 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!
i know...i must work on my intake throughout the day. today was just exhausting. and i had horrible choices at every meal. especially lunch, which left me famished only 2 hours later. perhaps i also had too much diet coke. ugh. better tomorrow.
Have a good one Donkey!
I think I keep weighing myself in order to see if I'm losing "binge weight" versus "real weight"....
Well, yesterday was actually a pretty good day eating-wise, probably because I was able to keep my emotions at bay (away, essentially). This is quite an improvement over last week, when I was feeling despondent even in the face of good news. (And not just "good news" but "saving-our-butts good news".)
I hope to continue to use the "Just For Today" philosophy for today as well. I'm also employing the "Fake It Til You Make It" approach by smiling as much as I can in public. One guy at the gym this morning said to me, "You shouldn't be smiling this early in the morning; what are you drinking?" LOL! Strong coffee, my friend. Very strong coffee....
Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
me and you, we're having some recent very highs and very lows, emotionally/mentally. lets try to reach a healthy plateau.
Not that I'm hung up on the scale. Please do not misunderstand the weigh-in this morning.
Today was quite a different Sunday than usual. Our town had a small "parade" with the lights and sirens of police and fire. (Indeed, it is called the "Lights & Sirens Parade" -- so as not to be confused with "Throwing Tons of Candy At Your Kids Parade".) Then they had an auto show afterwards, outside.
So I took the kids and walked the 4 blocks or so to a nice shady spot and watched the 15 minute (?) parade (LOL). Then we walked around and saw some of the cars and walked home.
Later, my daughter (9) and I went for a 2 hour long bike ride. Not very strenuous for me, but enjoyable and relaxing.
Now I am going to the store to buy milk, as we ran out of that this morning. I have taken to drinking a glass of milk in the morning.
This is definitely one of those "one day at a time" days, where I didn't think of too much of anything but today.
Progress as of today: 35.5 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!
It sounds like a lovely day!
Today's entry is soley for the purpose of logging in a "starting" weight for the month of August.
I tried to think of goals for myself for this month, but I have none.
Progress as of today: 35 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
Did not weigh in but I am sure I am up to around 144.
I am not doing well today at all. But I wanted to have an entry today so that at the end of August, I can look back and see how far I've come.
July didn't get much accomplished.
Here's looking forward to a much more positive August.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Hope your day goes well today!
I didn't make it.
For some reason, I ended up crossing that line between EAT and DON'T EAT.
And I ate.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Weighed in this morning, just to see if the weight was actually going DOWN. It is not. It went up, but not by much. But this is it. Now I fight my body to release more weight.
Today I ran into someone at church who has caused me grief. I understand why she has said what she has said. Unfortunately, she said what she said about me with only one person's interpretation. And I was never allowed to say my side of the story.
This encounter took an already difficult day down quite a bit. I have tried very hard not to eat in reaction to this. I came home, had lunch - and made lunch for the kids - and then I went upstairs to watch TV so I would not be around the kitchen.
While I was watching TV, I kept thinking of all the foods that I would like to drown my sadness in. I won't list them here, though. I came down and had my afternoon tea (fancy name for "snack"). I thought I would have some frozen watermelon, because even if I eat a lot of that, it's not as damaging as if I ate a lot of other possibilities.
I did not eat the whole container though, 1-2 cups. Then I had a cup of dry cereal, which seems to be my latest "safe" indulgence.
And now I will not eat until dinner. (Or, I will be asking myself the Carrot Question again.)
Sometimes, I wish we could move. Right now that's not feasible. Actually, I doubt my husband would agree to it. This was supposed to be our Forever Home.
Just an unfortunate day, I suppose...
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Frozen watermelon...never thought of that..it doesn't get mushy???
Try not to focuss on what the acquaintance said/did - focuss on the positive of what came out of that situation. And there WAS a positve. The positive was that you proved to yourself that you can take control and you didn't let it get the best of you. THAT is a step in the right direction - AND THAT is a POSITIVE!
I stupidly weighed myself this morning. It was such a force of habit that I did not realize that I was not going to weigh myself until Tuesday until the number flashed on the screen. Fortunately, I am not in a place right now where the number dictates my mood or my actions or my day. The only thing it affects is the number I punch into the cardio machines at the gym.
Not only does my husband have to work 12 hours today but he also has to work 12 hours tomorrow. Sundays are hard enough as they are, with the husband around. Not that we would necessarily do anything if he were home. In fact, I'd probably do more with him NOT home, just so I can fill the time.
Thankfully today will be *beautiful* weather-wise, so at least I cannot be limited to indoor activities. We shall see.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
Hope the weather holds and you get outside to enjoy it! I took one of my dogs on a walk today and timed it well..it started storming within an hour of us getting back!!
Hope the weather holds out for you! ANGUS RULES!!
I guess I'm at my "Real Weight", after 3-4 days of getting back on track. So now starts the work.
Last night, I had that semi-hungry feeling again around 9:30p. So asked myself the carrots question: Do you want some carrots? And this time, I did! So I had 4 of them and they were very tasty.
(I guess you have to like raw carrots to understand what I'm talking about.)
Unfortunately, this morning, my weight was up 0.5 lbs. WHAT?? Isn't it enough to drive you crazy? YES. So now that I know what my Real Weight is, I can stop weighing in every day, and go back to my designated once-a-week weigh-in on Tuesdays.
I'm good with that.
No special plans this weekend. My husband has to work 12 hours on Saturday which makes for a lonely day. I am hoping that the weather stays nice (i.e. no rain) so that I can do outdoor things with the kids.
If it does rain, I'm taking them to the library so that I can pick up something to read!
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
I hope that the weekend weather cooperates with you so you can get out in the fresh air with your kiddos!
Check this out for more: http://www.rhymes.org.uk/as_i_was_going_to_st_ives.htm
This site has a ton of nursery rhymes--might be fun to share some of this with your offspring!
Have a good one!
ps I know it doesn't help you much, but I'd give each of my pinkie toes (unless it made me walk funny for the rest of my life) to weigh 140 in a healthy and active manner for the rest of my born days;-)
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i thought of you today soon after my doctor weigh in. lol, i'm full of food in my belly. packed, to the core. I'm sure you've had that feeling - where you feel like you need to be around a bathroom all day and also the amount of gas that's up in there! lol. just packed. anyway, i thought i weighed around 133 pre bloating...i thought at the doctor i would come up as being out of the 140s. however, i weighed also not only bloated, but i had a full drink so that i would be able to give urine. and i weighed before that...lol. i couldn't believe the 142 on the scale!
biscottibody59 on 08/06/2009:
RYC: For me riding a bike is a great cardio workout. I don't have far to go to experience hills, so I'd have to limit myself by staying on flat roads/trails over and over.
Hope your day is going well so far!
hollybelle on 08/06/2009:
Thanks for the comments. I have taken prednisone several times before so I'm "prepared" for the bloat. Good thing is it heals me quickly and it's a low dose. I identify with the anger issues above. What has helped me is bible study and prayer - that may sound very "hokie", but it's been the only thing that has helped me. Even so, like you so wisely have noticed - it's a work in progress. Don't get down on yourself if you don't like exactly how you've handled a situation - I think that is how we are kept from progressing in handling our anger better - learn from it-vow to do better (again) the next time and go forth and conquor!!