Rainy weather for most of the day is what is forecasted. But with the Boss out, I am determined to get in some good lunch walks while he's gone. Usually, my walks are 30-40 minutes long, but now I can go a little longer, to take up more of the hour that I am given. The only time I've ever walked over an hour at work is when I got lost.
I think eating went OK yesterday, although I probably had too much granola. I have these tiny containers that came with takeout food -- the small kind where they might put in sour cream, or a side sauce or something. They are about 2 TBSP. I put the granola into this container and eat it from there. That keeps the portions controlled. However, I had 3 of these throughout the day - one in the morning, and then 2 for an afternoon snack. The afternoon ones kind of stuck with me.
I'm having second doubts about posting to my church group about the memorial service for Son. I'm not sure why I did that, in looking back. I haven't been all that involved with the group since COVID. Oh well, I don't think many of them - if any of them - will attend anyway.
I didn't put together the photo into the frame for Church Grief Group and consequently, the memorial service. I kind of forgot and then just didn't do it when I remembered. I can't remember where I put the frame, after I cleaned it. No worries, as I have 2 other frames I can use.
So I must remember to do this soon, this week, but not tonight, as tonight is yoga. Thank goodness....
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
Funny how I had not much planned yesterday and yet, excelled in my daily step-count for the day, both on the Fitbit AND the Garmin - even with a nap!
Eating went well, water was OK (but short, I think), elliptical at the gym, treadmill at home, no weights (sigh).
Started getting ready for the memorial service, as far as what we'll take with us to display at the Mass and at the luncheon. The "homework" for Church Grief Group this week is to bring in a picture of the lost loved one. Great, because this will push me (gently) to get Son's high school graduation picture into a nice 8x10 frame which we will also take to the church for the service. I found a frame and cleaned it off. Today I will put the picture in the frame.
We're taking a large poster-size picture of Son (in his military uniform) for the Mass service, then the 8x10 (civilian clothing, graduation picture) for the luncheon, and his shadow box of medals and patches that his team in Montana made for him. That plus his urn. That is sufficient I think. I don't want to worry about lugging a bunch of stuff to and from the church.
So I mentioned yesterday that I had posted the church announcement on Facebook, etc. I'm not real savvy with FB, and there have been changes to privacy options and stuff, so I'm sure that I double-posted. Oh well... BUT here's where it gets difficult: I had many people who I presume were friends/peers of Son's "like" and comment. I had a couple of young men reach out to me on Messenger - which I'm glad that they did. Truly I am glad. But it was difficult too.
Anyway, on to today... It is gray, cooler, and rainy "on and off". Not exactly uplifting, but I think we'll all agree it's perfect weather for resting, napping, reading, movies. So I think I will choose from that list. The clouds have cleared, and it promises to be a warm, sunny day. It rained earlier this morning, so I'm not sure that a hike would be a good idea (muddy). Other things to do:
I may undertake a big soil project, which involves removing dead plants/roots from pots and salvaging the soil for another plant. Very messy, so it's probably best done outside. I've put it off a couple of weeks. This might be the day to do it. - DONE, but I haven't decided what to do with the soil, yet. So right now, it's in a covered container on the deck outside.
My Boss will be out of the office for the next 3 days. He is getting a new medicine for his heart problems, and he needs to be hospitalized for 3 days to monitor the levels. They are trying this before considering a defibulator. Anyway, this means more quiet for me at work. I will work with Associate Attorney for phone calls and letters.
While I would hope that Boss would take this time to contemplate his priorities in life, my prediction is that the Boss will be so bored that he won't be able to imagine his life in retirement. For myself, I've come to the realization that I do not work for the firm after the Boss retires, so this will be a good "sample" for me too.
PS Still no poops from Baby Kitty...
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
I think your plans for photos and things to display at church and the memorial and group are very good choices.......I think you will get through the memorial and feel like you have done well.
It was a light, fun, silly little TV show, but I think of that line EVERY TIME I say the word "should" to myself.
LOL - that's funny about the pastor's wife :-)
next, seems like replacement guy needs many reminders and makes mistakes many times. i guess it's because he's still young and has a lot to learn...hopefully he'll get a little more into it soon with less mistakes - since he's with you guys for the summer right?
I just have to work on my tone of voice.
yes, it does seem you'll have to notify replacement guy at the time you notice his mistakes. when you notice it; i'd call him over if i were you and just go over it in real time; as soon as you can, before you forget. he's young and new and he should be able to stop work and go listen to what you need to tell him / remind me at that point in time. i think that's the best way for him to learn. if you hold back or save the comments for later, i think it will be less effective.
you are so right; hubby shouldn't have been mad at you bc he coudn't do the facebook posts and you didn't do it just yet. ugh.
Sorry about baby kitty. if she keeps having issues; will you keep helping her out? is there a point when you would change your ways on her?
IDK... we have talked about putting her down, but it just seems wrong to put down a cat because she's constipated. I feel that we are doing all that we can do to keep her regular. And I am willing to help her pass her physically pass poop (too graphic to go into detail here). This time, she is just stuck and packed. I can't even get the enema syringe into her.
i don't have the muscles in upper that i used to have and i am a little less strong in general, but my body still has a look to it and nice curves due to the weightlifting. prob on beach, most people wouldn't even think i lift anything; but the truth is that i'm really lucky i got into it and do it - or i'd not be looking as good as i do now at all. people look at me and would never think i have leg issues or ankle issues or any issue with mobility; and i think it's due to my weight-training; that sorta paints a picture for others that makes people perceive my body as stronger than it is...just my opinions on how my weightlifting has afforded me a positive body image but there's things still that i should work on; and how cardio still is very important...
i don't understand your last paragraph about this being a "sample" for you too? and i guess you mean if the boss retires you won't work there any longer? i am not sure what you meant in this paragraph in general?
So having a "sample" of what it would be like is moot, really, since it will not come to be.
Pretty much maintaining. I really wish that I liked weight training more, though. I don't want to lose the gains I've made.... I guess it's whatever is meant to be. Right now, I just need to get through this upcoming week, so THIS weekend, I will be sure to try to rest and renew my inner resources as much as possible. Also, I am very glad that I am taking this coming up Friday off from work, to kind of prepare for the service. After this past week at work, the last thing I need to be doing is taxing myself out the day beforehand. AND I'm definitely glad I'll be taking the following Monday off, to recooperate. I should have 2 new plant books to dive into, from the library loan system, and it will be nice (?) to settle back down into a secluded grief.
And with her perfect timing, Baby Kitty is having major constipation issues again. So as if life weren't hard enough... I will be working with her today to see if we can't get things moving along. This probably means more enema and then comfortable confinement. I feel quite badly for her, because the enema makes her nauseous. I gave her a bit of the enema earlier this week, and nothing (NOTHING) happened except for a little spit-up. So I will give her about the same dosage but then maybe again tonight...?
So plan for today is to have no plans per se. Oh you know I have my usual list of chores, and of course there's the gym. But I'm not worried about preparing for potential company - nope - or anything like that, unless I feel like it.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
Poor kitty.....she sure has her challenges.
I came to a few realizations since my last entry:
I need to change, for myself, the way I react to the errors occurring at work. I have been stepping back, because the Replacement Guy needs to learn how to do stuff. But either he's ignoring it, overwhelmed, or just doesn't realize that he needs to act on certain emails. So maybe it's time for me to step up and just work on the emails that I'm copied on? How will he learn then? And why would I give myself that extra work? But he's not doing the work (for whatever reason mentioned above)... Ugh, I don't need this in my life right now!!!
Husband and I got into a tiff last night. Someone - which means me, I guess - has to start reaching out to folks to notify/remind about the memorial service. Daughter was supposed to help Husband figure this out on Facebook, but she's busy with her new life, and Husband - for the "amazing" computer guy that he's supposed to be - just can't "figure it out". So Husband is getting mad that nobody is working on the notifications, but won't do it himself. Hey, don't get mad at ME. Figure it out or wait & be quiet about it.
OK, I get it. I know this is hard for him to do, but it's hard for me too. I don't want to do this either, but I guess I'll have to. So tomorrow, I will work on getting the word out. This includes an email or 2, a text or 2, and 3-4 Facebook posts. It's multiple FB posts, because each one speaks to a different "audience"although I admit there will be some cut-and-paste, to save time and effort. It's just HARD. VERY HARD.
Add to this lower back pain. I woke up this morning feeling like I had a meat cleaver sticking out of my lower back, right across and just above the hips, like where the back and hips meet. This is stress related, I am sure.
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
And I do think you're right - or at least I really hope that you are right- that once the memorial service is over, I will be able to relax a little more.
No texts. If the people I texted before with the details don't remember to attend, no need for a reminder. And I must remember no hard feelings if they don't attend, because there may be work issues involved. And it's 1-2 less person(s) to face -- saying this as an introvert.
Going to work early today because we have a handyman coming to the house and I don't want to be around for that. He's coming earlier than we thought though, so I probably won't be able to avoid him.
No walk this morning. Perhaps I can step out and walk around the block at around 10am.
I was very uptight at work yesterday. So many mistakes being made just sent me into a frenzy. I tried to contain myself. It's hard. For example, for the 2nd time, I had to explain to Replacement Guy that when it lists buyers (or sellers) as "John Q. and Jane C. Doe" that John's last name is NOT the letter Q. His name is John Q. Doe even though it says John Q and Jane C. Doe. And I've had to point out more than once that sellers don't always sell the property they are living in. Seller's address is not always the property being sold.
Just stay calm, try to stay calm... So things are delayed, just stay calm.
I did push-ups last night, and oh man, I do not know what has happened to me, but they were SO hard. To be honest, I don't know if I will be able to do this challenge. I felt like I was working with a body much older than my own. It felt like I was lifting lead with arms that were achy and older. It felt more like Day 29 rather than Day 1 of the challenge.
I have no plans for anything tonight, other than push-ups (or trying to do them, anyway). Bike ride? Walk? Rest? Rest sounds like a good plan, but we'll see.
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
It's only been 3 months since the death of our Son, but it feels like a million years. I promise I won't mention this "anniversary date" on the 1st of each month, in my diary here.
So a new month, but not many new goals, except to do push-ups (3 sets of 20 push-ups, modified or "girl" style, because of my lower back). The hard part will be REMEMBERING to do them!
I would like to lose 4 of those pounds, too.
But how in the sam hill do I lose weight when somebody brings into work a huge container of Monster Mix? (Peanuts, M&M's, raisins, maybe something else) Oh my... I walked by the snack table in the middle of the room, and someone had brought it. I had a moment of weakness and opened the lid, but it had an inner seal. So I put the lid back on the container and stepped away - way away - from the Mix, and returned to my desk. I don't need this in my life. Especially now. UGH!
Let's see if I can't do better with the water intake too. I struggle to get in 100 oz. I'm having problems finishing 2 of the 3 water bottles set up at my desk, even.
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
100 0z water! Wow! I remember when 64 was debunked as unnecessary for most folk. I can’t speak for elite athletes. But water is in many foods. I’m sure my big fat salads have at least half a quart. All that volume & very few Cals, has to be water. I rarely drink naked water, prefer coffee, iced tea, flavored sparkling waters and a 16 oz bottle of some soft drink.
You're right about the water.
re your below entry, i always appreciate 3 day weekends as they are so worth it to me! haha
that is thoughtful that the man reached out to you who served with your son. xo xo.
good on you for doing what you want yesterday re being physical; but making sure you are doing something physical no matter what for the last day of the month.
those treats with that caloric mix is hard to moderate. maybe allow yourself 5-10 pieces at end of day if you can wait all day until then. or take home to have with a coffee. etc. or after dinner.
I keep thinking today is June 1st. I'll probably go around thinking "Today is Monday, June 1st" all day. I anticipate it will be a busy day at work. These 3-day weekends are hardly worth it, because we come back to so much work. I'll be able to tell by the number of new contracts we get in.
It was a nice day, but also somewhat difficult, emotionally. It was nice because I did things that I like to do, and we got stuff done. That's always a good thing. I had someone who served with Son reach out to me via Facebook, and that was sad, but also very comforting at the same time. It truly felt like being swallowed up by a wave. It was a swirl of emotions, some happy & positive, and some sad & lonely. I'm still very grateful that this young man reached out to me to share his story (with Son) with me.
I was starting leg weights when I received the message on FB, so I never did go back to finish up. I have no plans to do so tonight either. Having said that, today, being the last day of the month is something I'm going to leave open to doing what I feel like doing. Maybe I'll do squats. Maybe I'll walk on the treadmill. Maybe I'll do a bike ride. Maybe nothing, although I seldom like doing nothing. It's important to do something after sitting all day at work, especially for my back.
There was no yoga last night, and that's fine. We both kind of left it open and actually, it worked out for the best, because Daughter came home around 6pm and we were able to have a leisurely dinner with her, to hear all of her stories. I know she's super-stressed out but I think she'll do just fine.
I just remembered that we're suppoesd to be at work 30 minutes early the day after a 3-day holiday. (Long story about the Boss being incompetent, so now we all have to pay for it.) So I'll end this here.
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
Hope your daughter had a good first day on her new position........I bet she does have some stories.
Have a good day...even if it is a little longer at work.
Very thoughtful of the young man to reach out & predictably bittersweet.
What kind of work does your daughter do? Sure sounds like she’s good at it.
By leg weights do you mean the kind that strap on? I have some too, like them.
It is a beautiful morning. I stayed up too late, so getting up this morning was hard, but Daughter starts her first day today as Assistant Manager, working 7am-5pm, so I wanted to be awake to see her off and give her some encouragement.
I do intend to go to the gym today, but I'm in no rush. I've already tended somewhat to my plants. My banana plant seems to really have enjoyed her time under the plant light. Or maybe she's just happy to be repotted in nutrious fresh potting mix. Or both! My plant rooms face north, which is not very good lighting for sun-loving plants. The morning sun is adequate but in the afternoon, the light is not bright enough. I will visit my plants a couple of more times today.
I'm not sure if it was an emotional moment or if it was lack of carbs at dinner, but I overindulged in granola last night, while watching a movie (by myself). I need to get back on track, but I also know that June will be a difficult month for me. Mainly, I have to get through Son's memorial service and the weekend with my extended family. Then, I also have my medical stuff coming up: a day of various scans and ultrasounds AND (a week later) a consultation with the surgeon. Finally, I must deal with the loss of Mistakes Girl, when she leaves us to have her baby. I'm not sure which will hurt more - the emotional loss of her presence, or the logistical pain of her not being around to take her for granted rely on her knowledge and expertise.
So I may do better with another month of hanging in there, before I try to tackle anything dietary. One thing I do know is that all I can do is all that I can do.
No list of things to do today. My goal is to relax and enjoy as much as possible. I plan to have yoga tonight, but I will check with the teacher later this morning, to be sure.
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
It was a busy day, though, because when there's a day off, everyone goes to Walmart.
wow, your daughter will have long hours!
have you ever replanted a plant and either watered it too much or the soil just seems to look moldy / white on top? this is happening with my plant....very light areas of white; may need to remove some top soil and add fresh.
try to have more veggies/fruit around for snacking and for with your meals. so that these snacks of granola, etc, can be fit in. i have big issues with granola too; so much so that i do not buy it...for the same reason. except granola bars of 100-140 cals per bar which i have been loving and eating on and off. maybe you could switch to granola bars so you can still have one with coffee or as a snack....but not overdo...they are much smaller; and to me are very similar to granola. i sometimes have them as a snack at work with some pb to balance out the fat/protein/carbs together.
If you water with tap water, it might be residue from the water, especially if it's hard (minerals), but also if it's soft (salt). Either way, that top layer should come off.
wow, your daughter will have long hours!
have you ever replanted a plant and either watered it too much or the soil just seems to look moldy / white on top? this is happening with my plant....very light areas of white; may need to remove some top soil and add fresh.
try to have more veggies/fruit around for snacking and for with your meals. so that these snacks of granola, etc, can be fit in. i have big issues with granola too; so much so that i do not buy it...for the same reason. except granola bars of 100-140 cals per bar which i have been loving and eating on and off. maybe you could switch to granola bars so you can still have one with coffee or as a snack....but not overdo...they are much smaller; and to me are very similar to granola. i sometimes have them as a snack at work with some pb to balance out the fat/protein/carbs together.
Going to the gym early, but not in a rush. Just not up to pushing myself in this regard. Daughter (surprise!) and I went yesterday, and the hot tub are not accessable until Monday, so I'm glad I wasn't counting on relaxing in the hot tub! I did only the elliptical - no weights - but it's so nice to just go, zone out, and get some steps in.
By going early, I will have the rest of the day free to get done what I didn't complete yesterday AND to relax more. It will be warmer and sunnier today, so it might be nice to just sit outside for a bit.
Keeping busy yesterday helped. Below is what I finished:
In addition, I filled up my birdfeeders, and all my bird friends came back quite quickly. I set up a tall moss pole for my one plant that has developed a beautiful, long vine. So now she has somewhere to climb.
So today we will set up the umbrella to add shade to sitting outside. I need to still fold & put away my laundry, and then there will be a load of kitty laundry to do too. I went into Son's room yesterday and assessed that there are a lot of his clothes that need to be washed & dried before they are packed away. I will eventually go through all of these and donate most of them, but I'm not doing that now, so into storage they will go. Laundry is not one of my favorite chores, and it's hard enough to keep up with my own laundry, much less all of this additional laundry. I'm not sure when I will start this project, but it's good to assess and consider all that is involved ahead of time -- to prepare for it.
I do not plan to do weights at the gym, but I would like to do them at home this afternoon or this evening. I might see if Daughter wants to go for a short hike, but it's OK if she has her own thing in mind. I could go with Husband, or maybe just stay at home, too.
Lovely Things to Do Sunday - EVENING UPDATE
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
We also have LOTS of chickadees, purple warblers, and yellow finches -- all of which I adore, as well.
You have been active and productive these couple days. very nice work, Donkey. xo
No surprise at today's weigh-in. I just realized this morning that I've re-gained pretty much most of the COVID weight I struggled to lose. Dang...
Yesterday was a hard day all the way around. I was already feeling very sad. Went to work and for some reason, the Boss wanted to talk about the memorial service we're having for our Son. I did not have much to contribute to Church Grief Group. Last week, it was easier for me to be chatty. This week, I just had no words to say. Maybe it's just too soon.
I miss our Son very much.
So I'm leaving yesterday behind and looking forward today. The weather will be moderate, mid-70's and sunny. I am glad for the 3-day weekend. There are a couple of shows streaming that have new episodes. There are a few movies I'd like to see (I have to go to the library to check out 2 of the DVD's because I'm not paying to stream them). And I have many chores and tasks I'm actually looking forward to doing.
Lovely Things to Do this Weekend:
Daughter is off this weekend and starts her new job on Monday. I'm not sure if she'll want to hang out with us or do her own thing. I know she's very nervous about starting her new job (of course), and she has her own ways of handling stress and anxiety.
Today is not a "relax" day with eating, as I haven't been much on plan with eating. However, I would like to reach my water goal or even the Garmin's goal it has for me. I'm thinking about a daily push-up challenge for June.
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
re previous entry, you've been busy and i'm sorry that husband's case isn't progressing in the manner you would have liked it to. will he continue to receive a pension?
Husband will get a reduced pension if he loses his case. So it's something, but not all that he should be getting.
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Ehjoy your yoga tonight......I went out in the rain to mail a couple of things....luckily...no thunder involved...and it was kind of refreshing....Rain just clears the air.
Yoga was so nice, and then, towards the end, it started thundering in the distance... ahhhh... so soothing.
legcramps on 06/06/2022:
Hope you're able to get those lunch walks in!
Oh yeah! Yesterday was a little over 2 miles. That's a good, solid walk for me.
horn_of_plenty on 06/07/2022:
remember your job is for pay...so even if boss leaves; and you do not have a position anywhere, you may want to hang onto this. seems you are hanging on; until the option to work there ends. good for you. nothing wrong with that. we all do what we all choose to do. i'd also do that; since i'm not one to have to change / leave unless i have to (from my experience, i know that's how it is for me - unless i were to go for something that would suit me better which so far has been relatively infrequently).
What you said above here has gotten me to thinking. So I've been thinking about slipping into a semi-retirement, i.e. working part-time, at least maybe for a while.
But maybe what I just need is a short leave of absence - like 2 weeks - before making any sudden changes to my employment status.
I've mentioned to the Boss back in December that I've been thinking of going part-time, asking if there's a place for me in the firm to do this. We were supposed to get back to discussing this, but never did. I think it's time to do that again.
I did OK with Associate Attorney yesterday. I think we work well together, BUT I just wish he had the self-confidence and personality to be a leader. And something's wrong with his stats. He's not getting in as many contracts as he should be getting. I'm not sure why.
horn_of_plenty on 06/07/2022:
i think it's so great you are doing these walks and getting a little extra in while you can. very healthy fitness here!
Love your portion control granola packs! great idea, seriously.
is the service this weekend then?
I use the portion control for granola for the Monster Mix (trail mix) at work too. Keeps everything in check.
Yes, the memorial service is this weekend. So far, lovely weather is forecasted. Once I can get through that, and then all of the family get-together stuff afterwards (Saturday evening & Sunday's trip downtown to Chicago), then I can settle back down into a more comfortable position, even if it's tinged with sadness (which may be always, but sometimes not as much, OR it may be from time to time that I feel the sadness).