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Donkey - Friday Jun 28, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

 Happy Friday!!!  It doesn't seem real yet; I'm not feeling it yet,  but that's okay. It WILL come!

I made the right decision last night to skip the Catholic yoga. If it is offered again for free,  I might check it out,  depending on where I'm at with God.

Queen Bee stopped by the office yesterday,  and it was a good visit, now that we don't have to deal with her constant drama.  It will be interesting to see if she comes back to the office after the summer is over or if this "working from home" will be more permanent. 

Cookout at the neighbors' tonight. Kind of nice change,  actually,  although I prefer to stay at home. 

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/28/2019:
Kick back and enjoy the neighbors cookout!!! Have fun!!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2019:
I'm proud of you for skipping Cath yoga, actually. Do the things that make you happy & skip the things that take away from it! Most things in life are choices. And you can choose to take part or step away!

Speaking of that paragraph i just wrote about, i am now (after this crazy week) realizing that even with work i will need better boundaries - in regards to OT, i did it and went crazy this week just because i wanted it done. but it was a bit too stressful for me. so i have to rethink my approach with OT and when this scenario comes up again.....once again, sleep has become a priority and when i don't get it, i simply feel it for a couple days more...ok, back to you!

I am SURE queen bee will continue working from home?! right!? it's a special thing she has, i'm sure she won't want to give it up. but i am also sure she'll be paying you guys more visits because she likes being the center of attention and must miss that!

Remember my first paragraph. go to the cookout, but, you may leave when you want to. don't feel bad. leave when you are ready and want to go back home.

you sound good. I hope the weekend is a good one for you.

BearCountryGG on 06/28/2019:
I agree with HOP.....totally.....do what you want, when you want...as I always told my kids.....as long as you aren't breaking the law...it is okay! You make chocices that work best for you.....

Donkey - Thursday Jun 27, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Did not write here yesterday...  the $5000 work mistake continues to follow me -- it will do so until the file is closed out.   I'm hoping that will happen this week . 

I've decided to skip the Pietra Fitness ("Catholic Yoga"), and spend my evening watching part 2 of the debates tonight. Spending time with my daughter,  doing what I feel is my civic duty,  will serve me better than to be in a room doing something that seems hypocritical to me.  That would just foster anger and resentment.  That's the antithesis of the purpose and intent.  

On a positive note,  there is another Cat Yoga class being offered at the animal shelter in July!


I've noticed that I've been straying away from intentional, mindful eating --- just eating and not really being in the moment of it, which leads to overeating and poor choices. 

Journaling or tracking would help with this,  but oh how I hate doing that. 

I'm not liking that I eat at my desk, either.  That too contributes to the mindless eating. 

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/27/2019:
I thought of you just now, with your exercise when i came across the following on the internet:

One reader named Günter did something similar. “I've done a simple workout every day for over half a year now. I managed to stick to it by changing the scope: when I don't have time for a full set or don't feel like it, instead of skipping altogether, I do an abbreviated session. I also mark it in my calendar.”

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/27/2019:
Yes, skip the yoga if you'd rather watch the debates. you can even do weights during them, if that spikes your interest / fits into your schedule. otherwise, sit back and relax and watch 'em!

i hope you are able to make that july class. again. maybe bring your daughter?

i always eat at my desk, by i actually prefer it bc i have all my snacks right here...especially now with a fridge i am starting to eat more greens finally! salads! just bring in a bag of greens, a little dressing...and i am on my way to better health.

happy-1 on 06/27/2019:
Cat Yoga sounds like a good way to end up with another cat.

Maria7 on 06/27/2019:
Stress makes it more difficult to remember mindful eating...and easier at the same time, to reach for comforting food...

Donkey - Tuesday Jun 25, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Many of comments made on my last entry were so insightful and helpful.  Thank you! 

Pulling back a bit on exercising.  Feeling like I'm overtraining (thanks, Happy!), so I'll be back next week, in a better place. 

Work.  I truly went in yesterday,  trying to have a fresh start from Friday's disaster.  Of course,  the $5000 mistake is the first thing the boss worked on.  This issue peppered the day,  until, at the end of the day,  I realized that, even though we made a mistake,  the real fault lies with the client, and it's his decision to make on what he wants to do.  My boss said,  "I'm not paying $5000" and at that point,  I realized that I no longer need to worry about this; it's no longer in my hands. 

I woke up at 1a when husband came to bed -- long story,  loud noise-- but I was having pains anyway.  In spite of this,  when I finally did get out of bed,  I felt pretty good and quite motivated to start my day.  

Really want to focus on my well-being and not let all this  chaos and crap distract me or bring me down from this goal. 

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/25/2019:
The book I am now reading, A DIFFERENT BOOK AGAIN!, called Rules For A Night, by Ethan Hawke, is a short read but requires a lot of concentration FOR ME. like i said, it's a rather easy, short read. but, i have to sometimes read each little section a few times. not sure why it's affecting me this way, the book i mean.

however, this book I highly recommend to anyone who wants to improve themselves with honesty and integrity. you have those qualities, yes. but another thing to learn is we are all human. you can only do your best. even when you do your best, sometimes, accidents happen. and in the book, fatalities happen. but that's not at all related to your experience!!! LOL. that's a knight, not a paralegal!

But it is out of your hands, you have to let it go.

I think you are doing way better than a few years ago. Me too.

There's a whole chapter on the world seeming how you initally view it. there's these two families on a journey to resettle. one mother asks how the upcoming town they are venturing to is - is it full of nice people? the knight asks how her old town was - she answers how horrible the people were - thieves and liars. so, he answered to the woman that the upcoming town would probably be the same way for her! then, another woman they passed on the way with her family asked the same question. he asked her how her town she was leaving was. She answered, "lovely, the nicest people, we are so sad to leave!" and he told her that the town she was approaching would probably be another good experience for her family :)

it's how you see things...especially in your case at work. i have to tell you, you are very capable. keep on being your little J donk at work. do your best. practice to make better what went sour. Keep doing your best work. and you will be OK. My opinion. Keep your head on the positive things you have achieved, there are MANY.

legcramps on 06/25/2019:
I'm glad you were able to let it go!

legcramps on 06/25/2019:
Also - your last sentence. Yes. That's it in a nutshell!

happy-1 on 06/25/2019:
OM... Big hugs. Good article: When Everything is Awful and I'm Not OK


BearCountryGG on 06/25/2019:
Glad to hear that you got some closure on the booboo.....slap a bandaid on that one...it's over thankfully.

Donkey - Sunday Jun 23, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Something just isn't right, on an emotional level, I think....  might be physical and I'm just not picking up on it.

I have been carrying around the work thing with me, even though I've managed to put it in a place where it's not dominating every waking moment.  I'm not thinking about it, but rather dreading having to deal with this on Monday.  I really wish I could afford to retire.

I did not post again yesterday, but it turned out to be a pretty good day.  I stayed busy, anyway.  Got a nice long walk in with my daughter.  Tried a new upper body dumbbell routine.  I'm going to try this for a week or two, to mix things up.  I did indulge with a little too much ice cream after dinner, but now it's gone so I won't have to think about it any more.  All 3 of us worked on the gutter problem we've been having.  Hopefully that fixed the problem.  It was gross.

I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning.  Let's just say I did not wake up to joy, that's for sure.  Part of the problem is that I stayed up too late reading. Finally DID get up, though, to find that this morning is a beautiful day.  I guess the forecasted 80% chance of rain is coming this afternoon....  The sky has turned from sunny to bright but cloudy, so I'm going to log off here now and get ready for an outdoor walk.


Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/23/2019:
Are you getting enough B vitamins???? They are the happy vits.......also if you are still doing keto.....it's hard on the moods......If you really need to just retire.....downsizing may be what needs to be done......is that a possibility? Maybe you would be happier in a different line of work? Pretty much all jobs have times of stress...I've never had one that didn't.....but some jobs are just easier to leave and forget for the day.

Donkey on 06/23/2019:
You might have something there about the vitamins. I take a multivitamin but that might not be enough.

You're 100% spot on about stress at any job. My job is hard for me to leave at work. In fact, I texted the Associate attorney that he has a 9a closing tomorrow that will require travel time, just as a friendly reminder. Ugh...

happy-1 on 06/23/2019:
Hugs. Disrupted sleep is also hard on the moods. As is overtraining.

Donkey on 06/25/2019:
Yep -- overtraining. Hasn't thought of that, but I think you're right. Pulling back this week.

Thank you for pointing that out. Extremely helpful!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/24/2019:
with the work thing, you cannot change the past. but you can just be positive (as you were about solutions about the work thing) going forward. try to think of it as "LINDA my coworker" would do .... she'd want to move past it, fit it, and move on! (i do understand you though, completely!)

Your Saturday sounds eventful and productive, nicely done!

My morning was like yours, but i did sleep enough. just on the weekend, i got used to MORE sleep! lol, seems i should DEF keep on getting extra sleep as it does feel good when i can!

Sometimes you need more sleep than you think you do (my opinion!)

We've been having a lot of rain in the past 2 weeks also - but weekend was nice.

maybe the rain will stop so you can walk at lunch.

wishing you continued success and positivity. you are needed at your job, you do good work, i can tell. push forward with it, don't let a mistake bog your future work!

Donkey on 06/25/2019:
Tried to go in wth a lighter heart. Not sure that worked the whole day, but I left in a better place mentally.

legcramps on 06/24/2019:
I hope your workday goes well today; i've been carrying around unnecessary work stress lately as well. I think we both need to figure out how to deal with this 'abusive relationship' we call work.

Donkey on 06/25/2019:
I almost quit yesterday, but held my tongue. Your insightful comment is keen. I think you're right, this is abusive, so now I have to figure out how much of that I allow to happen, and how much abuse is actually there.

Donkey - Saturday Jun 22, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

 So something happened at work on Friday afternoon that is weighing heavily on my mind...  I'm writing about it here, in hopes that I can "leave" it here and move on with my weekend.  I do NOT want this to affect my ability to relax and recharge.  Things like this tend to weigh heavily on my mind and ruin the present moment.  

Basically, what happened was Mistakes Girl -- working on autopilot and not double checking her work -- made a mistake with a deadline date.  This was caused by a glitch in the software we use.  We both were aware of this issue, but I forgot about it and apparently so did she.  I double check all of her work, but forgot about this computer problem.
I blame myself for forgetting that this was a problem that needed to be - at the very least - monitored.  This is a $5000 mistake.  Yep.  Theoretically, we both should be fired for a mistake like this, but fortunately (?) my boss isn't like that.
There's really no sense in blaming or rethinking what went wrong.  We can only move forward to reconcile THIS mistake and then take steps to make sure that this STOPS happening.  (We went through all of my open files and found mistakes just like this in 6 other files!!) 
Now I don't want to dwell on this any more, unless it's to think of a better solution.  But frankly, I don't even want to spend my days off thinking about ANYTHING with work.  Maybe I'll talk to my husband about this.

I need a distraction.  I think a walk would be a good idea.  I wanted to do a little keto baking today too, but I'm not sure that will come to fruition.  Tomorrow (Sunday) would be a better day for baking because the chances for rain are higher.

I truly had every intention of weighing in today, but the husband was around, and I'd rather weigh-in in private, if that makes sense.  I will write more later today.

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/22/2019:
I say...forget about work glitches on your day off....Business owners need to have the business in mind 24/7 ( been there...done that)...but employees get paid only at work....and I doubt if they are paying you to keep running through work problems in your head...so THIS IS YOUR TIME!!! Accidents happen.....you did what you could about it.....and hopefully you will enjoy the rest of your weekend......I hear you about the scales and privacy.....

Horn_of_plenty on 06/23/2019:
You took the steps to prevent this issue from happening in the future with the 6 other files. Also, next time there's a computer glitch problem, don't put that file aside but your other work aside and fix the glitch issue ASAP. but either well, we make mistakes. at least you did actions to prevent it again in the near future. you did good. see the positive in your actions after the accident happened.

I actually did sorta a keto recipe but not really with the cool whip mixed with peanut butter it's almost too easy to be called a keto dessert or recipe. i want a donut or cake keto recipe. just gotta find the time i want to spend on it. lately, i'm more about cooking food :) like veggies and meat!

don't worry about the glitch, just LEARN from it. that's all you can do. stay positive. and if boss brings it up, show him how you're working on prevention for the next time :)

Donkey - Friday Jun 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Thank you,  Friday!!!  Could not get here soon enough!!!  

Cat yoga was good!  I would go again.   My daughter's work schedule changed unexpectedly and I invited her to come along if there were openings,  but the event had already sold out.  In a way,  I was glad because I felt that this was something I wanted to do alone.  That is to say,  this was HUGE in stepping out of my comfort zone,  and that was the challenge to myself:  to do something new on my own.  I need to be able to do this,  because my husband cannot do a lot of the things I want to do,  and my daughter has her own life to live.   Does that make sense?  Now that I've done it,  I'd be happy to have her come with me next time. 

The yoga itself was more exercise and less relaxation than the Chair Yoga my husband and I do once a month.   The instructor was not as soothing,  but more invigorating.  So it was different.  I can see how some forms of yoga can be quite a workout!

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/21/2019:
Very good job to YOU for stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something new and different! A fun challenge and it DID look great. Looks like the instructor really put it together with a nice spin on the Cat theme.

Yes, i see that you wanted to do it independently, all alone, without help (your daughter accompanying you)...i get you completely, yes.

yes, yoga can def be a big workout depending on the type / instructor / other variables.

Donkey on 06/22/2019:
I actually prefer the relaxation focus of the Chair Yoga, but this was a good stretch. Now that I know what to expect, I will approach this differently, mentally.

Let's say that this yoga was more of an "awakening" feeling, where as the chair yoga I go to is more of a "resting" feeling. Both are great, but just different.

legcramps on 06/21/2019:
So glad you enjoyed the cat yoga! And I totally understand wanting to do it alone for the first time - i'm the same way with some things!

Donkey on 06/22/2019:
Thank you for the encouragement!

Donkey - Wednesday Jun 19, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

i'm in a touchy place right now.  Last night, after my workout (light weights, high reps, upper body), I did not have anything to eat.  In fact, I skipped out on the nuts and piece of dark chocolate after dinner as well.  This morning I woke up feeling fatigued.  I almost considered sleeping in or going into work an hour late so that I could get more sleep and then exercise later.  I don't know if it was the food or if I'm overtraining.  I'm also not sleeping well.  My husband has been coming to bed late and waking me up.  (I'm sensitive like that.)  Last night, I couldn't get back to sleep because my back ached.  

So I'm tired!

I'm also stressed out about this cat yoga tomorrow night.  I talked to Male Co-Worker about this yesterday, because he has an event tomorrow night, too, that he is equally looking forward to yet dreading.  He knows exactly what I'm talking about.  It's not laziness, but rather stepping out of one's comfort zone.  It would be so much easier not to go, just to go home and do the familiar, even though this is something I'm really looking forward too.  It was nice to know that I'm not the only one with these kinds of feelngs.  I know I'll go, because I paid for this.

I *AM* having second thoughts about the free "Catholic yoga" next week though.  I don't want to miss the Presidential debate, and I would probably miss the first 15 minutes of it.  As a voting citizen, I feel it my civic duty to be as informed as possible about any and all candidates for the next election.  And as I've written before, I have mixed feelings about the whole "Catholic yoga" thing --- can't call it "yoga" because yoga in itself is related to another religion  - oh give me a break.  So you can't be yoga but you can plagarize all of the movements and stretches. Got it. (NOT)

I'm way out of my comfort zone this week and it's making me very anxious.  On the bright side, I'm not eating my emotions.  That's a really good thing!

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

legcramps on 06/19/2019:
Yeah, it does sound like you are feeling anxious this week. One step at a time, do what you can, and forget about the rest - it's not important enough to stress you out!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/20/2019:
It's probably your sleep that is most running you down emotionally i think. Also, when your back hurts, do you take pain meds? i find that if i take something when i wake up with any pain, i'm able to go back to sleep as soon as the medicine hits my bloodstream.

You can do this CAT yoga! You LOVE CATS! I think that you are emotionally putting too much emphasis on it being something new. This is good for you!

Also, you can YOU TUBE the presidential debate! you won't miss any...right?

Then again, you can say no to anything you don't want to do. Just prepare for these new things.make sure you have your workout clothes ready...and everything ready. maybe a snack ready if you need it...

I am rooting for you.

Donkey - Tuesday Jun 18, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

I'm up early today,  because there is a  9am closing at the office this morning,  and I want to be there early so as to help folks get set up.  Perhaps I can leave early or take a longer lunch. 

I was not busy at work yesterday but still stayed until 5:40p because at 4:45p, the emails started  coming in!  Really unfair.   The lack of work was causing me quite a bit of anxiety, to the point of being physically uncomfortable. 

Because Thursday is cat yoga,  tonight should be upper body light weights and tomorrow would be legs. 

I find myself grabbing a handful of nuts after dinner.   Nuts seem to calm me down,  but this is probably an additional 200 calories that maybe I could skip. 


This is not a good post.  I'm feeling very anxious right now,  so my thoughts are all over the place...

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/18/2019:
When those emails came in - can you have promised yourself to answer a lot of them in the morning? All because you have a task - can't some of it wait until the next day? just asking...can you have some kind of limits here?

I like to see your schedule of your workouts and plans involving the cat yoga. it's def the only way to get things done is by having this schedule.

i have actually noticed my own weekends are not scheduled enough - like last weekend. i hope to never schedule a workout again (or at least for a very long time) the same night as a family function! :)

the good thing is it's a handful of nuts and healthy. let it be.

and today you keep being true to yourself and everyone else - because you ALWAYS are.

oh, maybe take some more time to think about your thoughts here. come back later and regroup?

wishing you a fast, productive day <3

i took a picture of a page of a book i'm reading that made me think of YOU! actually many parts of the book have me thinking of you. especially with the cat yoga - a new activity to spice things up and put a stop to things being monotonous. workouts also - changing them every so often so you keep momentum. these are good things.

Donkey on 06/19/2019:
The limits on emails at the end of the day: I can do that but then I have that much more work to do the next day -- that's how I see that. But that IS a viable option. My boss would be ok with that.

I have so many mixed emotions about the yoga events this week and next. I'm looking forward to it BUT at the same time, dreading it.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/18/2019:
do you know the cause of why you became anemic?

Donkey on 06/19/2019:

Donkey - Monday Jun 17, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Dumbbells Lady on Facebook never got back to me with an address to pick up the 20lbs weights,  so I'm done with that. 

Felt some ache in my lower body from yesterday's workout. So I'm pleased with that. 

Dealing with some serious sugar cravings,  trying to resist and work past them.  Had some ice cream Friday night,  which I believe has set these cravings afire. 

Trying to start the week on a positive note,  but already feeling the workweek dread.  Cat Yoga on Thursday,  though...

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/17/2019:
Good way to begin the week.....it does make it easier. Darn sugar is like that......I hope the day comes when I will have finally ridded trhis place of sugar....it surely will help.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/17/2019:
sorry the weights didn't work out! but now you can look into the bands.

always nice to have a little ache telling you that you did some work!

totally hear you on cravings. this happens to me too after an indulgence, i just want to have more, always.

CAT YOGA. you gotta let us know how this goes!

i also am trying for positive :) i am going to cook tonight and try to get it all done not too late :) would be nice to eat my home cooked food tomorrow for lunch! i have SO MANY VEGGIES to make! and a GREAT recipe!

you sound more positive...how's your son!

Donkey - Sunday Jun 16, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Happy Father's Day....   Mr. Donkey was going to grill outside today with his brand new grill but since the weather's been kind of wet and rainy, now he's not so enthusiastic. I hope he changes his mind.  This reminds me that he did not buy any corn on the cob to cook on the grill for our daughter, so maybe he was never intending to cookout today.  Hmmm....

I am waiting for the lady selling her dumbbells on Facebook to contact me for a time and place for pick-up.  Let's see if this one ever comes to fruition.  I'm starting to think that rather than buying heavier weights, to invest my money in some resistance bands.  They are a lot cheaper and take up way less space.  I think if Dumbbells Lady doesn't come through today, I'm not going to pursue them any further.  Today or that's it.

I realized this morning that when I worked out with weights yesterday, I did a full upper body routine.  So today, I will do legs and more ab work - if my back will permit it. I woke up to a really sore hip/back (as usual).  My morning bike ride seems to have helped immensely with that.  I will also do some floor stretches here in a little bit to realign my hips to my back.  *sigh* gettin' old...

I've also noticed that I'm getting tired of meat.  This past week, I was to the point where I cannot eat any more bacon for a while.  I wasn't eating a lot of it, but while eating it, realized, I've had enough, I don't want any more.  I have some summer sausage in the refrigerator that I've also "had enough" of.  I'm not sure if it's the high fat or the flavor or what.  

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/16/2019:
I've been using resistance bands...and they are something that D had to use at Physical therapy too.....i'm likeing them alot...watching TV and using them seems to make the time fly by! My hip got worse with the exercycle...how I wish it helped mine...I will continue with it...but it's stirring up issues again...UGH!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/17/2019:
Sometimes i need a break from certain foods, too..

Did you guys bbq? I took home steak for R but he told me he cannot chew it so i now will freeze it in the corned beef extra liquid i have...

Those dumbbells are a GREAT price! what a great idea. i should have looked into more options when i was purchasing mine! did you end up picking them up?

also exercise bands, using them slow and with resistance, i know can be just as effective as weights. so that would be a great option too of course!

I am reading something interesting, my book on success that i forgot at my parents' house boohooo...and well your routine on your bike is really nice bc you are moving and doing something very positive at the start of your day.

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