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Donkey - Monday Feb 04, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Very short on time, but I wanted to respond to questions regarding the fat bombs.  Since I use an ice tray as molds for the fat bomb recipe, the portion sizes are smaller, so thus the calories are lower.  I think for the ones I make with peanut butter, the calores are around 70-75.  For the ones I made with the almond butter, the calories are probably closer to 80, but some of them have a small almond in them - as a "surprise bonus" - so those are probably closer to 90 calories.  The peanut butter ones taste like Reese's peanut butter cups but with more chocolate.  The almond ones are a delight unto their own.

I received my blood test results, and it seems as though I quite low on several things, one of them being Vitamin D.  I'm taking the print-out to work, and if I have downtime, I'll look up what the acronyms mean.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 02/04/2019:
I love making peanut butter balls every so often; same kind of thing as yours, and sometimes I add chocolate chippets which makes them taste like Reese's. BF and I both love our Reese's!

horn_of_plenty on 02/04/2019:
GREAT calories on these fat bombs! totally awesome so you can have 1-3 of them per day!! nice.

let us know what you find regarding the blood test - it can also be a reason why you've been feeling down at times.

regarding vitamin D, that's a typical one. do you take a multi everyday? of course, i'd hope you do!

let me know what you find, it'd be interesting. maybe there's something you are lacking that is an "easy fix" to help you feeling better for the rest of the winter.

SilverySparkles on 02/04/2019:
Not bad calories for the fat bombs, they sound good.

Donkey - Sunday Feb 03, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

So yesterday was a struggle, but I stuck to keto choices.  Too many choices, probably, but those were my choices.  

Did some cooking yesterday - sugar free stewed cranberries, gummies, fat bombs made with almond butter (this time, instead of peanut butter, for a change) - and my dear husband made keto friendly Phillly cheesesteak stuffed green peppers.  I added my own kale salad and was quite content.  Had decaf and 2 fat bombs afterwards.

I was proud of myself last night.  I was going to indulge in some 85% cacao chocolate right before bed, which I didn't need because I had already had the 2 fat bombs while watching TV with my dahguter, SO... I decided to brush my teeth and get ready for bed instead.  That's ME being in control of food and NOT the other way around.  Just because I CAN have it doesn't mean I MUST or SHOULD have it.

Yesterday's workout was awesome.  Pushed those heavy weights.  It doesn't take a lot of time, really, and I usually indulge in watching TV shows while I work with weights.  So I had fun.  However, later last night, as I was getting my pajamas on, I thought to myself:  I think I'd rather not work as hard and just eat less.  That is to say, I'd rather see a lower number on the scale myself than to show visable results on my body.  Hmm... I will see if I feel the same way at the end of the month.  Because I also had the thought of, Wouldn't it be SO COOL to wear a sleeveless shirt in the summer and show off some fabulous arms?  AND, Wouldn't it be awesome to wear a skirt and show off some fabulous lean leg muscles?

(I wonder what Queen Bee would think about THAT! - ha ha) (Seriously though, her thoughts or reaction have NOTHING to do with ANY of my motivations.)

So today is a more relaxed day, althought I would like to make a fathead crust - turns out like pita bread, for dipping in hummus or to use as a flatbread to accompany any meal.  I plan to run errands with my husband - as many as he wants and can handle - while the weather is nice.  They are HIS errands, but he really can't do these things on his own any more, with his physical limitations.  I'd rather stay home, but time-wise, I think it will work out better if we try to do these things today.

PS  I forgot to mention that even though I struggled with eating yesterday, eating way more fat than I usually do and fighting cravings, I had a very nice level of energy for my cardio workout this morning.  It feels good to have energy like this.

PPS  My weight training schedule this week, then is Saturday (yesterday), Tuesday, Thursday, and then either Saturday or Sunday to start again.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2019:
yup, yesterday i moved one of the 3 frozen bags of cranberries in my freezer to the fridge so i can make the sugar free cooked cranberries too! :) just yum and very low calories.

omg that meal sounds just amazing. stuffed peppers! meat! and dessert. yum! goodness yum!

nice job staying i control. i had to do the same thing last night. started having minor cravings, but was already past my calories for the day and didn't want to do further damage, so i also just went to bed!

Queen Bee would be rather jealous of course if you rock the sleeveless shirt and skirt! :) this is why i continue to press on, the results have made themselves worth the push to continue lifting. also, each time i workout i'm reminded how heavy some of my exercises are and they don't get easier. but then if i went down in weights, then those lower weights would also become hard. so, i'd rather just keep pushing to keep where i'm at than to default back to anything less. i thought of that when you mentioned maybe reverting back to lower weights. Sometimes i also remind myself it'd be good to try harder, do more reps or higher weights of things, like situps. I feel it's really hard to keep pushing, but it's the only way to keep seeing a change. of course, we want to push in moderation and not all at once!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2019:
Nice job pushing thru the struggle with food and making it so you felt good this morning. you can do this.

yesterday and today my schedule is rather lighter than it used to be when i was in a semi-relationship with the older Ricky. he used to distract me from my day as we'd have plans often.

finally i'm able to do less and temptations of food are back. so i'm also working on keeping some kinda of order around here :)

like you are cooking, i'm inspired to get back to some cooking of my own especially when i run outta food. i guess i have too much food right now - which is why i'm not cooking too much. except i have meat that needs to be cooked or will spoil soon - it's a corned beef in the freezer. it says to cook by end of january...hopefully cooking it next week is close enough...?

cooking is something i haven't been doing as i'm just not up for it right now. i guess once i get in a couple weekends of good workouts and clean the bathroom lol...then i'll feel totally ready to delve into the kitchen for a new recipe!

SilverySparkles on 02/03/2019:
How many calories are the fat bombs?

horn_of_plenty on 02/04/2019:
yeah, how many cals are your fat bombs, like 100? 80 ? 50? I'd say anyhting 100 and lower is great to add to a diet anytime :)

legcramps on 02/04/2019:
I can understand the internal dialogue about losing more weight or gaining muscle mass. I know for some people, it's about looking good, but for me - lifting weights is about feeling good. I can (and have) lost loads of weight by just eating less, but then I have zero energy and no zest for life. And aren't we here to live? When I eat better, and lift weight to increase muscle mass - I have energy, I can run after things without fearing that I might lose my balance, fall and break something because my bones are so fragile. I feel good. Who cares what I look like? In the end, for me, it's about how I FEEL, not what I look like or what the scale tells me.

Donkey - Saturday Feb 02, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0


Chair yoga with Mr. Donkey was OK/nice.  Different (and some were challenging!) poses that I felt a very good stretch.  However, I didn't feel as relaxed as I sometimes do afterwards.  Didn't get lost this time, so walked into the session with less stress.  However, there's a guy there who -- if left to his own devices -- would crack jokes and make comments throughout the whole session.  The instructor has to reign him in.  Really breaks up the "zen" of the session, but I guess for free and only once a month, you get what you pay for.  The last 2 times, I thought about saying something to the instructor, but I don't because I do not want to do anything to discourage this man from attending.  I think it's really good for him to do this yoga.  My husband and I talk about the session after each time, and we're both on the same page.  As long as my husband wants to go, I support him 100% and will go with him (because I know he won't go alone).

Afterwards, we met up with our kids at the local mom-and-pop diner.  I did very welll with adapting my meal to keto.  had French onion soup with melted cheese, minus the croutons.  Chicken and avocado sandwich with melted Swiss cheese and mushrooms - ate everything but the bread.  Instead of fries, had fresh fruit, which I split with everyone.  Had 2 thin slices of cantalope and honeydew -- that was all I got, LOL. 

But honestly, eating has been a struggle all week, with the colder weather, and then the muscle fatigue from shoveling and from the higher weights workouts (even though I got in only 2 sessions).  I had to do some self-affirmations this morning to NOT be discouraged by the scale.  Keto and heavier weight training are often not in sync with the numbers on the scale.  I said I was going to give the higher weight-training a month, so I just have to hang in there, I guess. 

"Warmer" temperatures here this weekend, but it's supposed to rain - on top of all this snow that we still have on the ground.  I don't have any specific plans other than laundry and weigh training.  I haven't decided what I want for breakfast yet; everything sounds good:  cheese, pepperoni, protein bar, almonds, IDK...  Had a 2nd cup of coffee and a fat bomb while trying to figure it out, but I still do not know what to eat.



Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 02/03/2019:
I find that the more I exercise, the more I weigh also sometimes...but have to keep it in perspective, as in muscle weighs more than fat. That is wonderful that you and your Hubby are doing the yoga together. Try to not be discouraged and think about happy things. Spring is on the way! Smile.

Donkey on 02/03/2019:
Yes, this is 100% correct. Must stay POSITIVE! Negative thoughts will serve no purpose here.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2019:
oh yes, i'm missing out on having any "fat bombs" and really am craving them! I do have sugar free chocolate chips at home though, that i keep forgetting about...i think you've just enticed me into having some later in yogurt :)

lol about this nutty man in your yoga class. Try not to take it to heart, maybe take his nuttiness as "part of the class!" like, it's expected that he's part of the class when you go :)

It's great you have a bunch of choices to eat. Better than being bored!

And keep on with your weight training and keto because it's only the 3rd of February so if you quit now, well, you didn't even give it a full week in Feb :)

the feelings of discouragement will pass. remember that the # on the scale shouldn't be your only source of happiness!

and if it does keep going up though, you do have an approach which worked before, the initial way you go about losing weight, without keto, come March, if you have to.

i do like things keto too at times, it takes away the highs and lows of sugar cravings between meals and after meals.

i must order my favorite peanut butter atkins cups on Amazon.

Donkey - Friday Feb 01, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

Logging in from my phone - which I hate doing...

I did not write anything yesterday, but it was such a struggle.  Yesterday was HARD.  Struggled a lot with eating...

OK DD is being weird with formatting  so I'm quitting for now.

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2019:
I KNOW it's gotta be particularly hard for you right now with the extensive cold and snows...you will pull through. Sending you a virtual hug and warmth which i know is coming back to your area soon.

You can do this. The seasons will eventually change back. Keep your J donkey head up and smile. YOU GOT THIS.

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2019:
Chicago has been on our news about the cold for around a week now. so, your struggles are known!

legcramps on 02/01/2019:
You've got this! I always find it so difficult in the winter, when it's so cold :( but you can do this!!

Donkey - Wednesday Jan 30, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

I'm not even sure what "feels like -51F" feels like.... I'm almost afraid to go outside, but today is timesheet day, and I also did not check to see if there are any deadlines to be met today (contingencies).  Finally, one of our clients, a simple man, is closing tomorrow, so he will need his final figures today.  

My plan is to probably work a shortened day, but if I do that, THIS time, I will plan ahead of time, so that I do NOT come home and just eat.  No, I will do better this time.

 Last night, I had an awesome weight training session.  I actually like lifting the heavier weights.  I do not know when my next session will be.  It probably should be Thursday.  Friday is Chair Yoga, and I do not want to lift the night before weigh-in on Saturday, after yoga and date night.  I could lift on Saturday, but then I could not on Sunday, which is preferred, I think.  Not sure...  Now that I think about it, I am leaning torwards Satudray, and then just adjusting the rotation after that.

AFTERNOON EDIT:  I decided that I would work up until lunch, whether that be 12p or 1pm or 2pm.  (Well, probably not 2pm because I didn't bring enough food to eat.)  I would work until there was no more work.  It was myself and Male Co-Worker and that's it.  Nobody else showed up.  The office was definitely chilly; the furnace couldn't keep up.  I wore 2 pairs of pants and 3 layers on top (4 if you count my sports bra), and a knit hat, and by the time I left, my fingers started feeling cold, making typing a little slower and more clumsy.

For my 2nd breakfast, I had a more calorie-dense meal/snack, so that when I came home, I wasn't very hungry.  Craved raw vegetables more than anything, so that's what I had at home.  I wasn't going to spend the time to prep them before work if I had no plans on staying very long.

I'm hoping to convince my daughter to let one of us driver her to work, because it's so cold.  Her car will start, because it's in the garage, but my main concern is after work at 11pm, being an older car, she may not be able to get it started.   I would take her and then my son would pick her up.  She's talking about leaving early because the store has been empty due to the cold.  Last night, they had her bringing in carts from the parking lot, even though she works in the apparel department.  She said when she came in, her face had turned completely purple except for around her eyes.

EVENING EDIT:  So tired - the cold has really sapped a lot of energy from me, it would seem. I'm not sure why, as it's not like I was out there shoveling.  (BTW, we're getting a couple of inches of snow tomorrow afternoon when it "warms up".  I really hope they are wrong about that.)

Dinner was sausage and peppers, with a salad and giardinara  Definitely an early bedtime for me.  I hope to have the lights out by 7:30p.  

The plan is to go to work tomorrow, but the morning temperatures are supposed to be almost as bad as today's.  And like I said above, just when it will warm up, it's going to start to snow -- which I absolutely HATE to drive in.  *sigh*

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/30/2019:
Brrr!!! Hope you are able to stay warm for most of the day today! Glad to hear you had an awesome weight session :) keep it up!

horn_of_plenty on 01/31/2019:
I would def be afraid or anxious rather to be outside for more than 10min in -51 wind chill. Yesterday, my face got soooo cold and burning as i walked home 10min in 10 degrees F with a very strong wind chill factor (not sure what). it was bad and i knew i'd have to cover my face today with a scarf which helped so much this morning!

yeah, if you PLAN to leave early and PLAN how you'll use the time, maybe PLAN a snack and an activity AFTER the snack, you'll be A-ok! :) and bed early!? that's what i'd do! :)

i also had an awesome weights session tuesday and another one scheduled for tonight :) and i'm leaving at 4pm :) not 5pm ! woohoo...easy to fit in weights today :)

i'm surprised the furnace couldn't keep up - maybe they didn't even set it as high as usual since it's a lot of energy to heat things up with the outdoors being such a drastic cold.

i can't believe they had her working outside...her face should be fully covered by a scarf!

Lovely dinner :) perfect for this cold, the sausage and peppers.

at least you can leave early today - do you?

Horn_of_plenty on 01/31/2019:
hoping everything is ok by you, J donk :)

Donkey - Tuesday Jan 29, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

A quick entry before I leave for work this cold, cold Chicago morning...  And tomorrow will be even colder!

Last night, still feeling the satisfying ache from the previous heavier weight training episode, I had an epiphany that this approach (heavier weights) is the right path for me.  Hard to explain it, but just had this overall feeling that I summarized in a statement to myself, "Yes, this is the right path." I just wish I could have these "God moments" when it came to bigger things in life - relationships, jobs, children, moving, aging, etc.

I've decided, just now, that February (along with this last week in January, since February is a short month) will be a "test run" of what heavier weights can do for me.  I want to see where I'm at, physically, at the end of February, and then re-evaluate.  So this will be a fun challenge for myself.

The colder temperatures and all the snow that came on Monday make walking at lunchtime very difficult.  As a result, I've been taking longer bike rides in the evening - also because I'm watching a TV series that has episodes that run about 55 minutes.  After the cold leaves Chicago, we will have rain, which is not helpful either.

I've been having back spasms in the morning, when I ride my easy bike.  As you may recall, the purpose of riding the bike is just to limber up my legs, back, etc., while I watch the morning news and catch up on social media on my phone.  These are little twinges that say "Hey! I'm here!"  My fear is that these twinges will develop into something worse, as what happens some times.  I'm not sure if this is due to all the shoveling, or lifting the heavier weights (nooooo!), or stress (?), or just my back reminding me that it can ruin my life any time it feels like it.  

I'm almost wondering if I should take a Flexerall to work with me, to take at work, to help my muscles relax.  I would take the pill at work, after I've driven there.  I guess if I fall asleep, I can just take a nap on the boss' couch, since he's not around.  That's not really good to do, though, with all the sharks I work with.  IDK, my main concern is that these twinges don't lead to another misalignment with my hips and spine.  Can't do that again...

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/29/2019:
Which TV series are you watching? Sorry to hear about the spasms; could it be your alignment on the bike? When you check social media while riding, do you tend to sit upright rather than having your hands at the handlebars? That might increase tension to your lower back. I always have to change position on the bike every few minutes because my back also gives me issues when i'm riding.

Donkey on 01/30/2019:
Confessions of a Serial Killer: Ted Bundy -- on Netflix. There's only 4 episodes, unfortunately. I find true crime stories to be fascinating.

My bike is a recumbent bike, so I am always sitting back, against the back support. I took some CBD drops yesterday, and the spasms stopped. I had no spasms today.

The thing about my back is that if I can catch it right when it starts acting up, and address whatever it is that's bothering it, I'm usually almost always 100% good to go. It's when I ignore it or don't notice/think/catch it early on that I run into HUGE problems.

horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2019:
we are getting a "cold snap" but nowhere near as cold as by you...it will pass :)

The God Moments may be few and far between but they have a tendency sometimes to leak (in a good way) from one part of your life into another. is your son still set to go back to ... air force was it? i keep forgetting the branch.

GREAT idea for February test run on the weights...keep on, you will not be disappointed. ..i know it's hard this time of year to muster up the energy to get weights into your routine. I'm struggling at work to remain awake and wondering how i'll pull it off tonight. ...but i will try. :) ......

Donkey on 01/30/2019:
Right? I do not think I will be disappointed either!!! Just gotta get over that number on the scale. This is where my fancy Ironman scale will come in handy, because it measures muscle and fat percentages. I'm hoping that will be something to be proud of!

horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2019:
nice job to incorporate a little extra biking to counteract less walking! I was trying to walk outside and did both Friday and Monday coming home from work but Wednesday will also be too cold in NY to do it - i plan to rest...hoping to make it to Friday and feel ok then - have another planned lunch date with the same man.

my first guess is back spasms from stress. Next guess is from shoveling.

listen to your body and don't overdo.

remember all the shoveling is exercise...

Horn_of_plenty on 01/30/2019:
Stay warm and think positive thoughts, this cold shall pass!!!

Donkey - Monday Jan 28, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

Fortunately, my muslces are not too sore this morning.  I have that pleasant ache in my inner thighs - the area I want to target!   Therefore, I was able to handle shoveling this morning - although I had to come in and yell "I need help!" So my son ended up coming out to help me shovel half of the driveway.  So thankful for him.  Next year he will be gone, so we'll have to think of a plan B for sure.

Anyway, there was about 6-7 inches of snow.  Not too wet/dense (thank you, Jesus!) , but because there was so much, it was somewhat heavy to lift and heave over the already existing snowbanks.  I *did* notice that my upper left arm was still a bit sore from where I had the tetanus shot.  There was 2 feet of snow in the street though from the half-done job the city snowplow did.  So I had to flatten enough for my little car to pull out, because something like that I would definitely get stuck.   That would be worse than going into work late.  Male Co-Worker barely made it to work and texted me to stay home until the roads are cleared out better. So I plan to leave around 10am or so.  

My next heavy weight-training will Tuesday or Wednesday.  If I catch myself at certain angles in the mirror, I think I see a nice muscle cut between the shoulders and bicep/tricep, but then when I turn front, I cannot see it any more.  That's OK, with CONSISTENT heavier weights, it will come.

Hopefully, with work to keep me busy, I can keep my appetite in check today.  I was glad for the extra energy from the nuts yesterday, but would rather not make this a habit.

A few years ago, when I was doing South Beach Diet (basically low-carb), it came to January and I fell off hard with binge eating cashews (not recommended).  I think that as long as I live in a colder winter climate, I should realize that in January, I crave more nuts, and learn to accept this and adjust, rather than to fight it and then fail/fall.  Perhaps I should consider adding smaller portions of nuts every day, during the winter.

Going into Spring, I would have a slightly higher weight, but that would come off during the warmer months.

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/28/2019:
Just got myself caught up on your weights journey :)

I feel like you could go either way if you are having trouble with form when you're lifting heavier - you could lessen the weight and continue as you were, or you could lessen the reps and try to get 8 or even 6 instead with good form. I would never compromise form, so whatever you need to do to make sure you're performing each exercise with integrity of form, that's what you should do!

Donkey on 01/29/2019:
I agree - I do not think there is anything wrong with using a lighter weight, proper form, and higher reps. The results will just be different.

And something is better than nothing.

horn_of_plenty on 01/28/2019:
don't give yourself such a high expectation always lady!!!! i am no pioneer either. i prefer to follow the path others have set, always. however, that being said, i am forging ahead as best as i can :)

well, your son is here now, thankfully! glad he helped you! everyone cannot believe the temps and snow you guys are getting in Chicagoland!

Yes, leave when the roads are more clear and take your time ;) safety is more important than being exactly on time to work, for sure!!!

yes, i am sure the results are starting to show, for sure! how long have you been at it on and off, like a year? or more?

yeah, my appetite came back yesterday ugh! not enough protein and fat i think, too many carbs also...revved up my appetite...you know, when you overload the carbs at one meal, you just want more at the next which is what happened for me into today.

same here, it's def harder in the Winter months with weight...but it does usually come off by the end of summer.

Winter is def the hardest. but you are 35% complete lady with Winter!

Donkey on 01/29/2019:
it's really hard to say how long I've been doing weights because it's been so on/off. I seem to go through spurts of maybe 6-8 weeks and then I quit for about the same amount of time or longer.

I started up with the lighter weights again this month.

I do not know if it's the winter lighting (with the sun) or just the colder temps. Cold and dark are not conducive to keeping one's appetite in check. It's biology, I'm afraid.

horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2019:
yes, the cold plus the days of longer darkness are definitely not a stimulus towards weight loss. I hear you on that. we can do what we can, but we should also know that during these periods our bodies may need more sleep, rest, and self care....

Donkey - Sunday Jan 27, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

Last night was my first attempt at making a keto pizza, and I think it went pretty well.  My daughter and my husband said that I should have used more sauce, but I thought it was just fine the way it was.  I would definitely make that again.  Everyone was happy and satisfied with Family Pizza Night.

However... then "something bad" happened.  Not really bad, but definitely not ideal.  As you may recall, Saturdays have been my "relax" day - not cheat, but just increased carbs if you will.  In the freezer, I had a bag of frozen banana slices that's been sitting in there for a few months.  Bananas are really high in carbs, but my daughter eats them regularly in her meals.  However, if they get "too brown" in her sensitive opinion (I think - LOL), I slice them up and freeze them to use at a later date, either as a substitute for oil in making a boxed cake mix or in the summertime, blending them up to make "ice cream".  They can also be used in my daughter's smoothies, if she could get past the "too brown".

Anyway, so I've had this bag in the freezer that this weekend had been calling my name.  After dinner, I sat down to watch TV with my daughter before going out to shovel AGAIN -- and ate the whole bag!  Yikes!  There were at least 3 bananas, maybe 4.  Talk about carb overload!  Might as well have had a small chocolate milkshake from McDonalds - YES!

The thing with working a keto plan though is that once your blood sugar levels spike like that, you have to work to get back into the metabolic ketosis state again, which can be difficult.  I'm feeling it this morning.  Very difficult to prolong any kind of overnight fasting, cravings, etc.  So I'm back on track today, but I have a lot of mixed feelings about the bananas.  "Planned binge"?  Probably.  Don't like it when any type of excessive eating happens. 

You may think I'm being too hard on myself.  After all, "cheating" with bananas?  That's a valid argument to make, I think.  I could rationalize it by saying that it's not "that bad" because bananas have additional nutritional value, so this wasn't the  same as eating complete junk.  I would admit that there's truth to that as well.  And on the PLUS side, any and all bathroom issues reconciled, which is always a wonderful thing.

So anyway, that was Saturday night.  Today is Sunday, back on track.  Hopefully, I will feel motivated enough to try the heavier weights today.  In fact, that's what I'll do right now is set those up.

EVENING EDIT:  Probably not a good idea to do a heavier weights workout the day before a huge snow storm.  My muscles have been feeling fatigue for most of the day.  I've struggled with appetite, between the fatigue and coldness in the house.  

Ate what was probably too many nuts today again, but not a binge.  Just more than I should have had.

Going to do my best to get to bed early tonight, as I will set an earlier alarm to allow for shoveling time tomorrow morning.

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/27/2019:
A happy digestive state is worth a couple of bannanas.

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
I'll give a big AMEN to that - It's very uncomfortable when I'm off.

happy-1 on 01/27/2019:
And as my nutritionist would say, if you are hungry enough to eat a bag of bananas, you were actually hungry and your body is telling you it needs more food/calories than you are giving it.

Donkey on 01/27/2019:

happy-1 on 01/27/2019:
And she’d applaud you for eating an unprocessed food. Look how far you have come... you thought nothing of eating ice cream cake leftovers that had been in the fridge forever, but instead you treated yourself well and had a favorite frozen treat

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
Well, there's that truth too. Thank you for helping me see the glass as "half full". It is my regret that I couldn't do that on my own initiative, so I appreciate you steering me in the right direction. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
i agree with what you wrote on happy's diary entry about ok to cheat on keto / diets...lol....you are either following it or not...i cannot cheat either. i prefer it to be my lifestyle and that's it...not one day this and one day that...!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
well, now the bananas are now in the past!!! in the future, you can also have some other fruit mixed with the bananas...or a greek yogurt iwth bannaas....

instead of eating all of one thing, try to say, ok, i'm having some of that banana...and mix it with some things...

or have a decaf coffee or two with the bananas...you were probably hungry and tired from all the shoveling...i totally can see that. it's hard when doing that type of exercise in winter!

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
Those are options to think about. I didn't even think to consider mixing up the frozen bananas with something else. I could have put the bananas in a bowl (portion control) rather than eat them out of the bag.

Truth is, I think I wanted them to be gone, more than anything else. I mean, I had a craving, but I didn't want to revisit that again.

The cold weather is really playing with me. I gotta be stronger than this. I *AM* stronger than this. I'd suck as a pioneer...

Donkey - Saturday Jan 26, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

Weigh-in Thoughts:  Once again, it happened:  stopped working out with weights, weight goes down.  I got my "wish" to lose that little bit of weight to make it an even "60 pounds lost" on my stats - which makes my OCD-self happy.  Logical Donkey has mixed feelings though.

At this age in my life, I truly believe that some kind of weight-training NEEDS to be incorporated into my life, because I'm getting older (almost 50) and am at that point where I need to be preserving bone and muscle mass.  Plus, increased muscle mass will help with keeping my metabolism higher, fight against sagging skin, etc.  Lots of benefits - at the expense of seeing higher numbers on the scale.  I gotta keep working on this in my head, because it's hard to accept.

Because weights are really non-negotiable, though, my plan is to start weights again, with higher weights.  I can't do as many reps though, and frankly, using a higher weight taxes my joints to the point where form is compromised.  Any thoughts or input?

  • Even increasing from 8lb dumbbells to 10lb dumbbells causes problems.

Tried a 90-Second Keto bread recipe this morning which was actually OK.  This was my breakfast, but I shared some of it with my husband, to try, to see if he liked it too.  He did like it, but wanted to sweeten it up with syrup, which defeats the whole "keto" thing.  Might be able to add some Swerve and cinnamon and/or nutmeg.  Haven't tried the Walden brand maple syrup because I've heard mixed reviews.  Gains says it's pretty good...  I keep forgetting to look for it in the store.

Both kids are home tonight, so we're having pizza for dinner.  I bought a take-n-bake cheese pizza from Aldi and pepperoni, so that some of it can have meat, and some can be vegetarian.  I planned to have this over the weekend anyway, so that I would have time to make my own keto pizza with "fathead dough".  This will be my first try at making a keto-friendly pizza, so I'm looking forward to this.

This year is the Year of My Remodel, an idea which I borrowed from the office manager who works for the clinic of the 1st floor of my office.  She had weight loss surgery a year or so ago and mentioned this year, she would be working on toning up before she made any further decisions about skin removal.  

I kind of envy her because she is essentially forced to eat properly, because of the surgery.  If she does not eat correctly, she gets very sick.  IDK where I'm going with this, but sometimes I get so sick of the struggle to eat in a balanced way that it would be nice to have the eating struggle taken out of the equation.  

This got me to thinking how I STILL struggle - mentally, emotionally - with my numbers even now.  I want to be under 130.  I want to lose a nice round number of pounds, e.g. "60 pounds lost".  I want thin thighs.  I want to be able to lift weights and still see a pleasing number on the scale.  Crazy Donkey wishes she was reckless enough to get liposuction to remove some of the inner thigh fat - part of her German heritage, thank you Nana B.  On the other hand, Logical Donkey does her bookkeeping and realizes what a superficial use of her family's financial resources this would be.  PLUS, then I hear about things going really wrong, and I think, "Oh my, all for the sake of vanity!"

EVENING EDIT:  Decided to hold off on a real edit until tomorrow, so I wrote some comments below.  Going to go to bed at a decent hour tonight, instead of indulging in watching the old Perry Mason mysteries.  Shoveled TWICE this evening and it's still snowing...  And this isn't even the Big Snow we're supposed to wake up to on Monday morning...

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2019:
I commented below on your last couple entries....and since this entry is asking for specific advice and input, my plan is to work that out later for you! :)

Donkey on 01/26/2019:
Queen Bee always seems to go on a diet when she has a vacation coming up. We'll see how long this one lasts.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2019:
if using a higher weight is compromising your form, in general you should continue the lower weight.

i have a few exercises where i prefer to compromise my form, but, in general the more logical way is to keep your form, not just up the weight.

there are better sugar free maple syrups from amazon. you can also make your own sweeteners / syrups from sites like that woman i follow...Maya...i forget the name of her keto page.

i found an "Oprah" cauliflower pizza in the freezer isle and bought it, although, i'm not impressed with the calories. it's a large size that you cannot eat all at once. I plan to make it tomorrow and bring it to work i guess for a few days next week.

i know i can also make the pizza all on my own...

i can't wait to see how yours turns out!

you can always keep forging ahead and doing your best. you should work to love yourself and all you have already achieved.

part of "the struggle" is finding distractions and other things in life to want to achieve so that those become the focus and the food thing goes to a more of a backburner approach.

i think i got to my goal weight a hair before you did, so i think i've been working at maintenance longer.

i have to tell you, i still rely on veggies for the times i want to feel really full.

i also have to tell you that i def eat more veggies in comparison to the regular person and it's my diet and type of eating i've learned which keeps me at this weight.

i'm not this weight without practice and learning.

just keep it interesting, so you don't get bored.

stay happy...that's most important and realize that life is short, so, try to stop wishing for things that may not be for you...and be happy with the things you have achieved so far.

you are, by looks and weight, in a better place from when you started.

but those are just the outer dimension of yourself. being a peace with yourself and having a positive self image is on the inside and that's an emotional thing to work on :)

the obsession and ocd with a number on the scale is just a habit you go to, to think about, to take your mind off of other things...

Donkey on 01/26/2019:
I did not get a chance to do weights today, so I will try again tomorrow. I truly am going to give the heavier weights a shot.

Yes, you're right about the scales and the numbers --- I think I write about them here so that I do not have to carry around those thoughts with me. Does that make sense?

A LOT of people doing keto don't lose weight -- or it takes FOREVER but they lose inches. I think it will give me a leaner appearance, which was the whole point to begin with :)

happy-1 on 01/26/2019:
Reading this, I want to make you come with me to this nudist trailer resort out here. A couple of weeks in the sun and feeling good in your body and you will never look at anything in your life the same way again.

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
I think warm sun fixes everything... Why am I still living in Illinois?

I think you're right about such an experience being life-changing.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
Happy's comment = 100% accurate :)

Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
oh, and i've forcasted queen bee's diet to end once she's on vaca :)

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
RIGHT????? I wish she'd just stop this half-assed craziness and love herself the way she is.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
it's fine you share the scale here :) i TOTALLY understand what you mean by getting it out, sharing it somewhere, so it's not just stuck all day in your head! yes, i get it!!!

don't be afraid to use the higher weights. it will feel hard at first, but as long as you can get in 8 reps, stick with it.

also, if you do the 3 sets, you can do 2 sets higher weights with the third set the lower weight....until you are more comfortable.

just mix and match.

as for going up in weights, i generally have been at the same levels all year. right now i'm at the very weak end myself, def still just trying to lift my usual weights and with some challenges at the moment.

don't be afraid of the weights. stick to your diet, do not increase food just because you are lifting. more water, more light drinks will help you feel full, herbal teas, decaf coffee.

after a year of weights, you will automatically look a little better from where you started <3

my generation knows weights are good. my mom's generation (20 years older than you), for the most part didn't learn it...too bad on her, as she used to be afraid and tell me i was looking to big...but in my head before i reached where i am now, because of all the women i followed and research i did online, i knew one day i would be capable of getting to where i am now, and not look anything like a man :) since it's not possible based on chemistry of a woman. :)

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
Very good advice which I plan on taking! One concern is that using the higher weight brings about muscle fatigue which can sometimes trigger a larger appetite. It's a mixed signal in my brain, to combat the fatigue with food. So I will be mindful to keep my intake consistent.

However, even with my light weights, I was brushing my teeth the other day, and happened to have my arm flexed at a 90-degree angle, and I was like, "Whoa, really NICE muscle definition there!"

So it's happening.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
do you have any advice on the streaming? and you don't have cable because you share from your phone??? how does internet work at your home? or, do you pay for internet only, just no tv??

Donkey - Friday Jan 25, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Quite tired today.  I had enough work to keep me working throughout the day, with about 3 things -- all to be done by the end of business today -- coming in right before 5pm.  Isn't that nice?  People are so freakin' rude.  Not just clients - although this was one of them.  Too rich and too young to have consideration for other people's work schedules - even the Associate Attorney said that.  But today I was getting grief from other attorneys' offices too.  And don't even get me started on lenders.  I swear, it felt like I had been arguing with people via email all. day. long. 

Then somehow I started getting drawn into it with Queen Bee and Male Co-Worker.  Oh no, I'm not going down that path again.  Stood up for myself to Male Co-Worker and stopped talking to Queen Bee.

So glad it's Friday...  I'm apprehensive -- too much so, perhaps -- about tomorrow's weigh-in.  Haven't been walking as much during the day because of the really cold temperatures.  "Feels like -28F" this morning.  How the heck do we know what -28F feels like or should feel like?  I think it was -1F when I went outside at around 2pm, just to go around the block.  Yes it was cold.

Because of the cold, I don't have much planned to do outside of the house, but I do have some more keto recipes to try.  One is for 90-second bread.  The other is to make a keto pizza, with a fathead pizza crust.  However, I do not do well with unstructured time.  I suppose what I should do is try to tackle some of those decluttering projects.  Oh my...  Actually one of the things I was going to do was to start up a new weight training circuit with the heavier weights and an extra set.  

Well, I will think about that tomorrow.  I'm getting ready for bed and going to curl up with Harry Potter #3 until it's lights out. 

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/26/2019:
Or just take a nap...

Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2019:
Yes, my neighbor told me how cold it is today in Chicago-land! i can't believe the weather you are getting this winter! so much snow and cold that has mysteriously and miraculously stayed out of NYC!?

I'm glad it's friday too! :)

i would also stay in if it were that cold. take your rest and watch Harry Potter. sounds like a plan!

and if you are tired, I think Happy's advice works well, too.

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