Work was insanely busy yesterday. I've slipped into a pattern of working until 6p. Not good.
Last night, I was so happy to have completed my push-ups challenge, until this morning, when I realized that April has one more day... Okay, I can do this.
Today is my follow-up ultrasound, so I'm drinking water like crazy to go in with a full bladder. All of these medical tests involve some degree of painful prep.
Food continues to be a struggle and an issue. This is why I'm not losing. This is why I'm gaining weight. I just can't seem to find a keto balance. This sounds like a project for the month of May!
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
My weight keeps going up. Here's a switch: my plain scale has me gaining a pound, but my fancy hi-tech scale has me losing a little bit. I could think of several reasons for the gain, but I'm not sure it matters. I'm rather surprised to see the increase, though, because yesterday, I could not eat my lunch. I was almost sick to my stomach after 2 bites - to the point of deciding whether to run to the bathroom, or just sit and focus on keeping the food down. I ended up having a protein bar later on.
When Mr. Donkey and I went out to eat last Saturday, the ladies sitting in the booth behind me were talking about how one of them had lost a lot of weight. I couldn't hear a lot of what they were saying, but it sounded to me like she took low-carb approach. Anyway, the lady said that she only weighs herself on the first Monday of every month, to make sure she's doing OK. I thought that was a really good idea.
Although we are expecting 6-8 inches of snow (15-21 cm) tonight, the weather was warm enough earlier in the week that I pulled out some of my summer bottoms. I have to confess that initially, I was a bit disappointed that they didn't fit loosely. That is to say, the pants and capris fit perfectly. So this means that I did not lose any weight over the winter. But it also means that I did not gain any weight either. I should overcome my negative self and consider this a victory.
Still hanging in there with my push-up challenge. I have to say, it's paying off. I can see visible improvements in my upper arms. The other night, I caught a glimpse of my upper back, and that's coming along nicely too.
Regarding tonight's snow: It's being forecasted that this will be the thick, heavy "heart attack" snow, so I fully intend to keep up with shoveling as much as possible. This means great exercise ahead! Of course, if it decides to just rain instead, that would be A-OK with me (but I'm pretty sure that we're too far north in the system for that to happen).
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
Like you my weight has gone up a hair and I’m also wanting to lose a little by summer just for my clothes to fit a little better...maintenance is all about knowing when to dial it back a notch - that’s how I approach it.
Did my pushups, weights. Food was ok, but relying on keto gingerbread after dinner to hold off any other eating at night. Not sure if that's a good thing or not...
You may recall earlier this year, that I posted about this being a year of "self-remodeling", which was inspired by a lady in our office building having weight loss surgery. My intention with this inspiration was to focus on maintenance and weight training.
Saw this lady ^ yesterday after not seeing her for a while. Wow! She's managed to tighten up quite a bit! Maybe she's wearing Spanx, but she didn't mention it, which she is the type who would disclose everything. I'm not going to compare her remodeling with my mine, but wow! Actually, I'm not sure how to use the feelings I am having about seeing her progress.
Queen Bee stopped by the office yesterday. She's still losing weight. Good for her!
I won't be able to do anything about health insurance until May. So I will have a gap in overage in June. Very frustrating.
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
At least you are aware and have coverage set up - overlapping is def annoying !
So... I'm losing my health insurance at the end of May. The official story is that the premiums have become too expensive for my boss to renew the office plan, but my husband thinks that the real story is that the boss is taking his next step towards retirement.
I hope to meet with an insurance lady soon to discuss enrolling in Obamacare for myself and possibly my daughter. I think my husband should stick with his COBRA as long as he can, even though the monthly payment is quite high, but that's just my opinion... because he has a lot of health issues & requires long term care.
I'm glad that at least, whatever happens, I will be able to get in my follow up ultrasound next week and my follow up blood work on May 22nd.
Still working on discerning between investing $ on the yoga 10-class card (a temporary commitment) or joining a gym with the intention of getting a trainer to help with weights goals. The gym membership is a longer term commitment.
I need to get a handle on our budget. This is getting out of control.
Did my pushups last night. Eating went well too.
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
The law firm is one part of the boss's company. There's a mortgage company and a real estate agent branch. Not sure if those would stay open too or what.
I know that the son in law is being groomed to run the overall company, but he can't run the law firm because he's not an attorney.
My husband's comments, when I told him, was, first, "OMG" and the second comment was, "quit".
But you're right. Essentially, this change would release me from feeling obligated to stay. That is definitely something to think about.
I think you should look into ObamaCare just to see if it could work for your hubby, but i'm sure you are right that the Cobra is a better bet...
Personally if i were you, i'd try the yoga to see what it's about. Then, later when yoga is done, I'd perhaps do the gym with trainer. Get your yoga out of the way.
actually, first try the class free, before you by the yoga card if possible. to make sure you like it and want 10 more classes.
Ok, I will make my first step attending a free yoga session... Oh boy... scary!
Sleep was not good Sunday night, so Monday morning was definitely a challenge. In spite of the lack of sleep, I did well - very well - with eating.
I found a yoga studio that has what I think I'm looking for. The first class would be free, so I can try it out. Then, I can buy a 10- Class ticket for $70. (Ouch) The classes I can attend are all a variation of "Let Go", which is stretching and relaxing and decompressing from tension and stress. Weeknight and weekend classes.
Keeping up with pushups. Last night was weights. Used lighter weights, higher reps, and slow.
Work was not very busy because of the holiday weekend. Not good for business, I know, but good for me, at least in the short run.
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
the 10 class card doesn't sound too bad when you break it down to $7 per class!
and class times and days sound reasonable too!
your weights style is good with the slower and lighter but more reps. as long as you do it, you'll grow lean muscle. just the reps...the pattern....the commitment...the practice will only cause good things for you! (in support of your actions)
like you, i'm looking for reasonable routines that i can do and stick with. i have a plan set up to put in place for June starting with 2-3x per week cardio routine. it will be about 30min and i want to be able to do it an very close playground outside my bldg. i'm gonig to a friend, reserve Marine, who will give me a 30min or so routine to practice. i'll do it for one month 2-3x per week, then head back to him for a slightly new routine. i will offer him $100 per hour to work with me each month. ;)
I agree that it would likely be beneficial for you to seek the advice of a personal trainer with regards to your weights routine. I have coached people who did not think they were capable of pressing more than 10 lb dumbbells. They would shake their head at me if I suggested trying 15 lbs, and tell me they 'can't lift that weight'. Lots of times, it's all in our minds - we limit ourselves based on what we think we cannot do.
Example - I recently tried to flip a tire that was probably well over 400 lbs. The first time I tried, I walked up to it thinking 'no way', and barely moved the tire at all. That happened about a dozen times. BF started talking me through it, telling me I could do it whether I thought I could or not. He showed me how he squatted, how he drove the weight up through his legs, and how he used his upper body to flip the tire over. I tried again - a dozen more times I was able to lift the tire slightly up above the ground, maybe three inches, using BF's advice and listening to him tell me I could do it. Finally, I started to believe him. And then, on something like my 30th try, I did it. I flipped a tire that weighs over 400 lbs. And then I did it again. And a third time. And that third time? I was like 'huh, now that I know I can do it, it's a lot easier'.
The moral of my long story is that, with a personal trainer, you can be pushed to another level. You will break through the barriers you've placed in your head, telling you 'I can't lift anything heavier, it's too hard'. HERE is where you'll see those results you're looking for. It's about constantly showing up, letting someone that KNOWS tell you that you can do it, and then just DOING IT because you believe it too.
Sorry about the long story, but i'm pretty passionate about that stuff :) :)
Happy Easter - may peace be with you! And it's a beautiful day here (FINALLY) in Chicagoland. Wow, this has been a long time coming! I'm actually wearing shorts today, it got to be so warm. No worries, though, we will have cooler temperatures and rain starting Tuesday. Back to typical Chicago blah.
We went to Male Co-Worker's church. It was very interesting. A nice building that was not too small, and yet still had an intimate feeling, which I liked. Lots of music at the beginning - 4 songs! The sound system was a little too loud, so that was rather painful, but with my fingers covering my ears, then I could enjoy the music much more. Loved songs 3 and 1. Song 2 was good, song 4 was a good thing it was the last song. The sermon was good. I would say it was a B+ sermon with some A+ points. It felt a little rushed, but I wonder if that's because we were short on time (had to finish so that there could be some time before 2nd service started) or if because he was so worked up that it just poured forward. What really made my day was when it was announced that this was the first time that they were able to have a 2nd service, so there was a service at 9:30a - which we went to - and then one at 11am.
I was way out of my comfort zone with the fellowship though. As soon as we got out of the car, there were 4 people right on top of us, welcoming us, happy Easter, what a beautiful day... yeah, can we just get into the building, please? And then lots of people stopping by, wanting to shake my hand (gross) and welcoming us AGAIN. And touching my husband! Do NOT touch my husband! He is inflamed and in pain! Do not touch his shoulder, do not touch his back, do not try to shake his hands -- they are sore! That whole part made me feel VERY uncomfortable.
I liked the experience enough to maybe check out what a regular service was like, but if that fellowship stuff is typical - which I think it is, because most Bible / evangelical churches that I've been to are like that - then I'm gonna have to pass. I wonder if they even realize how off-putting that is to people.
Then we went to brunch. I had a 3-egg omlette with vegetables and feta cheese and fresh fruit. I ate the whole thing, as by 11:30a, we were all hungry.
Came home, finished laundry, did some computer stuff, and then went for a walk with my daughter. Lovely!
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
Well, i'm glad you experienced a different service and at a new church. I am sorry that they were so touchy-feely!
i am sure they don't realize how off-putting it is or they wouldn't do it? or maybe it was due to Easter and more crowds and more people around? but moreso, it's probably how they always are?
your day sounds really good! i am especially glad to hear that you were able to enjoy some sunshine with your daughter! it is so healthy to get outside and move. i even did the same myself today :) keep on, i'm proud of you!
Gained a pound, but with the week I had - and the extra sugar - I completely understand why this happened. And I'm OK with this. Not that I like the higher number, but this is what happened, and now it's time to move forward.
Wow, I feel like I've been bombed with a LOT of helpful and inspirational ideas. Everything that has happened lately seems to be a learning experience or a motivation to take the next step. Talk about feeling reborn this Easter weekend!
The reason for the binge-eating on sugar at night seems to be caused by anxiety. Last night, I realized what this was -- I've been feeling it every night this week! -- so I took some CBD drops to help relax me a little bit. I take CBD drops in the morning, so that by the time I get to work, I'm more relaxed to deal with clients. I think it helps. I notice on days where I forget to take the drops, I'm a little edgier in voice and manner. So I need to be mindful and take intentional steps to reduce anxiety after dinner:
I need to find the courage to step out of my comfort zone, my routine, and find something that brings me more fulfillment. This may be a hit-or-miss endeavor. In fact, I'm sure it will be. I've been talking about doing yoga for ages. Maybe pilates or barre. Maybe a community clean-up with the local environmental group, maybe start a flower pot garden? SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Why is this so hard for me to take that first step? There is nothing to be afraid of. Wait, maybe I'm afraid of being disappointed? Hmm...
I wanted to clarify that I am happier at work, now that Queen Bee is gone, but the job itself is evolving into something that is no longer a positive experience of helping people buy or sell, but really just wanting to be done with clients who have reveiled that they are really awful people in real life. How you treat people who are being of service to you really says a lot about a person's character. Anyway, my hope is that finding something ELSE in life that brings me joy will help balance out the good with the bad overall.
I'm starting to give a serious thought to hiring a personal trainer to help me with weight training. I realize that I'm training rather blindly. I would benefit from some guidance and exposure to new ideas in this department.
And so speaking of which, I realized this morning that I completely forgot to do push-ups last night. I remembered at one point, while getting ready for bed, and then it never happened. Oh well, a day of rest is probably a good thing. So back at it today. PLUS, it is my plan to do some weight training today.
Today's plans:
About Easter service: I think I have my husband on board. He understands now that this is not the church that he thought it was, so he is not so closed off to the idea. Also, the promise of going out for brunch afterwards seems to have sealed the deal. I have to talk to my daughter - when she wakes up - to finalize details. I need to really lower my expectations of this being a "family thing", so that I am not disappointed, but knowing that we'll be together, doing something, has helped me change my mindset from "Male Co-Worker is draining my personal time" to "this could be an interesting adventure for us!"
Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!
the pound you gained...don't worry, just keep acting accordingly, keep moving, keep being healthy. :) ...keep on!
i want to think you also for the motivation and passing on the knowledge that, like your son, i can accomplish this "lofty goal" if i could get some help in addition to my own motivation and self realization beliefs that will take me towards fulfilling this goal to run agility runs (which is soooo not my specialty! or passion!) to get me to my final goal. it's hard to break up the exercise now..and i am hoping that my new weights routine is not too much as i cannot have 6 days a week of hardcore training - i will not last physically.
I appreciate all the words of advice - please don't stop - please continue to share how you are changing and trying new things in addition to keeping some things the same (i feel if you are always changing, then there's no routine and you cannot progress thru practice)...
i will indeed probably stop running again as walking is nice in itself! i have a future goal, if the opportunity presents itself, to get a small dog. this would not happen anytime soon of course. but that's the type of exercise that i'm happy with. a little cardio moving and a weights routine is just fine by ME!
it makes sense that you'd binge on sugar (which initially relaxes you) bc of anxiety. one of the reasons i eat carbs and do not go low carb is that i am less anxious by eating more balanced - with supplies of feel good hormones that eating carbs gives you.
are the cbd drops worth it? i feel like i should get them as they also combat inflammation right? that's another reason, btw, that i eat avocado. they are wayyyy to beneficial to leave out of my diet. also those leg things that legcramps was talking about - King massagers - i have a feeling i may be purchasing them when i get back from this trip- hopefully i can be reimbursed, as well, thru my health account ;)...anything that can help us right inflammation is beneficial - as long as I USE THEM!
YES, it is hard to break out of one's comfort zone. I want to tell you, i have done if on multiple occasions and it DOES feel good to do things and try new things you didn't feel were possible. It is ALWAYS that same feeling and anxiety but it's necessary on each time you try something new. This is helpful for you to feel good about yourself, not be bored, continue at the SAME job, but have other things keeping you growing outside of work, too! it's like the man with two jobs (nuts!!! - but many of this military guys do the reserves - great benefits, great retirement!)
you will not be disappointed for trying something new. keep expectations LOW. it could be a bad teacher, then you try somewhere else. just TRY. see if there's a deal / trial session. try to keep the days around your trying this new thing in routine / not too stressful so you can go into this new class or activity feeling pretty good!
you have so many options, just choose one, plan that one.see how it goes. i am like you, i want to do everything. take out a calendar or google when community clean up is available and sign up for a day. realize it will be busy ;) so plan that week accordingly (at least this is what i'd be doing!). with the internet, it's so easy to research and find the activities / classes you want to be part of! research 1 or 2 and plan those, and then see how you like those!
if you are disappointed after trying something new, i suggest it is OK! not everything you try you will love - you just don't do it again and try something else. but the importatn thing for you i think is to try to things on your list. and get over that step!
that's a good approach,like i was saying, just like Legs does - she's involved on things on the outside she loves, it balances her work. and she's done that for many years....
you can hire a personal trainer at the gym that could teach you exercises mostly with free weights and a bench - then you coudl take that and do those exercises back at home...if you prefer exercising later at home. maybe just join the gym on a monthly basis till you learn what you'd like to laern on the weights.
Happy Easter!
Tastes like olive oil :)
I had another slip-up last night, and this one was probably worse than the birthday cake episode. There is a situation that is completely out of my control, has nothing to do with me personally, except that it has me very upset. So for some reason, I thought that eating a LOT of dried fruit (figs, papaya), almonds, and nuts, and dark chocolate, would help resolve this situation. I can tell you that it did not except that my stomach was very unhappy with me this morning.
I did better today, and tonight, but still ate too much and had too much sugary creamer in my decaf tonight. And after I'm done here, I MUST go up to bed and make no trips to the kitchen. That's how close to the edge of food I am at this time.
I did not weight train after Sunday's session, but did manage to stick to my push-ups challenge. My lunchtime walks were much shortened this week, because of the amount of work that I have to do. Thursday and today weren't too bad, but Monday and Tuesday were definitely crazy. It only takes one or 2 crazy transactions to swallow up all of my time, and then I get behind on all my other files.
I realized tonight, while riding my bike, that I am no longer happy at this job. I'm not miserable -- yet -- as I have been at other law firms. I do wish I could work part-time, but I need my health insurance. I don't even know if I need my hourly wage, so much as I need the insurance coverage.
I'm feeling very pressured by Male Co-Worker to attend his church service this Easter. I am Catholic, so going to an evangelical church service seems rather... well, it's rather like going to see a show or a performance, since there's no Eucharist. Mistakes Girl and her husband are going to one of the services at his church. I'm not sure why I feel so obligated to go to this, except that I have this really STRONG feeling that if I do NOT attend, that it will be a big mistakes in the office politics.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
why are you no longer happy at the job???? like, queen bee is gone?! isn't this a good thing? why don't you stay as long as you can?
if you went to real sugar, pehaps getting off keto will be good for you...somethign but not be balanced for you to slip up. ??? at my lunch at work, i avoid major slip ups by having more veggie servings than most people would so i can feel appropriately full / slightly overfull.
nice job sticking to the pushup challenge.
i was talking to somebody, a vendor selling us lightbulbs on the job, and we work with him very often. he spend 30 years in the NAVY doing that part time gig (weekends?) but he had a high position WHILE working his current job! he had TWO JOBS! finally retired from the navy, he still is working the lighting job as a vendor / vp of the company.
i'm trying to say this guy had two careers, one "part time" but since he had a higher position in the navy reserves, he had a phone and was constantly answering calls and doing both jobs each day, he said. and he told me briefly what the test was to get into the navy - SURPRISE, SURPRISE, it was the SAME as court officer: sit ups, pushups and running! that's it.
so it seems that to be a cop / nypd, they want to "see" your strength in muscle form whereas a lot of these other service psoitions are looking for cardio strength without loads of muscle. either way, he explained that cardio plus a bit of pushups / situps is enough.
andd he mentioned how his training now is also that way...he agreed time is of the essence and you have to choose what you are gonna train.
the last cool thing he showed me is a stretch to prevent shin splints and something i hadn't incorporated before - which i added to something i'll do 3x per week.
i guess i can always go back to weights fully, just gonna try my best and get a trainer in june hopefully.
ah, thanks for listening.
what i was getting at before i changed topic slightly is that situps and pushups are great body weight exercises and they work many muscles. they are very good for building strength.
About the job: Right? I am MUCH happier with the working environment, although even yesterday, the boss showed that he's letting her get away with stuff, and she'll still be rewarded for her bad behavior in the end. However, it's the work itself that isn't bringing me joy. I used to feel very fulfilled when a deal closed; it was a good feeling to know that I helped people buy or sell, so that they could move forward with the next chapter in their lives. I'm not feeling that any more. Nowadays, I feel like the clients are done with me, and I'm done with them.
About the guy with 2 careers: YES! THIS! And if I recall correctly, this is something that we (here, all) touched on before, to find something outside of the "job" that brings me joy, whether it's a 2nd job or an activity (that might end up evolving into a career or hobby). I really need to push myself to explore this more and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Finally, about weights: Yes, you can always go back to weights. In fact, I would predict that after you have achieved your running goal, that you will return to your first love of lifting heavier weights. The running goal is just to pass a test. It's more of a practicality, but not a passion.
Foodwise I was doing the same thing from stress... I had to purge everything in the house to get my dad under control and it had the side benefit of getting me under control. Also I bought a bunch of ghiradhelli 86% dark chocolate squares and they hit the “off” button on the snacking monster.
I have been doing the dark chocolate - I love 90%, but that is as high as I can go. I tried 92% and it was too bitter. But I love a fine, dark chocolate. This week, it didn't work, but I will be getting a couple of other "tools" this weekend, to help me.
i also find eating really, really dark chocolate (last i bought was 98%)...helps me to calm the snacking urge. a little goes a long way. that was my favorite.
now i have something less dark, little higher cals, but also helpful in the evening!
Also, I've been noticing this week, that after dinner, I'm feeling this awful anxiety. This is not usual. It's the anxiety that is triggering the excessive sugar eating.
So a couple of thoughts that need their own entry:
Tonight, I was not so strong about resisting the cake. My daughter had a dish of leftover cake & ice cream that she could not finish on Sunday, so she stuck it in the freezer. It's been there for a couple of days. For some reason, not only was this dessert calling my name for what it is (cake & ice cream), but this bowl of leftovers triggered my OCD tendencies. It just BOTHERED me that here is this unfinished dish in the freezer! Last night, I was able to resist, but tonight -- no such luck.
This struggle -- despite the fact that I had a very filling, satisfying dinner (again, ate too much at dinner - another one of my struggles), was a losing battle tonight. Actually, that's not 100% true. I consciously decided that I wanted a carb re-set, and that finishing this dish would satisfy me in both capacities. And it did, except that then... I had an extra piece of cake.
Even though I truly believe that keto has a LOT of benefits health-wise, I'm afraid that it's just not for me - at least not right now.
I have to do what works for me, and right now, for where I'm at, the last 2 months of keto haven't been working for me.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I did ok until dinner, where I feel that I ate too much. Wanted to finish up some chicken that was almost at the end. I hate wasting food, but especially meat. Morally, that's just wrong in my book (for me). I've struggled with dinner before, and here I am again.
It may not seem like it but I truly am struggling with food lately.
Sunday was weights, still doing my pushups. Looked at my upper arms last night. The pushups are paying off. Very solid with some bulk. Unfortunately, no definition, and that's what I really want.
I'm wondering if I should be aiming for 8 hours of sleep, rather than 7.
EDIT: wanted to add that the leftover birthday cake was really calling my name last night. Really struggling...
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
8 hours of sleep or more is what I aspire to; i'm not getting it, but i'm trying my best! Good sleep leads to good recovery leads to killing your workouts.
I'm sorry you're struggling right now with food - are you craving things in particular? Is it because of the cake?
I think the cake has brought the struggle to the forefront. I plan to write more about this, so I won't expand my thoughts here, but I did want to thank you for your comment/question, because it forced me to get real with myself.
Re Bulk vs. Tone: i had to do weight training for YEARS before there was ANY TONE. i looked sorta like a hulk until i lost a little bulk and this lasted for a LONG TIME. although change is gradual, it does happen. the only thing preventing it is giving up ;)
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Nice work on the pushups challenge! Yes, you CAN do this. It sounds like you've seen some positive change with this challenge - will you do another one like it for May?
Yes! My plan is to continue with the push-ups!
horn_of_plenty on 04/30/2019:
I recommend you try to do something so you are more satisfied with meals and snacks. One recommendation is to have a tea in the afternoon at work (herbal) with fruit as a filling snack. I think you need more volume. When I eat high volume meals I still get hungry later but I get satisfied easier at the next meal if the previous one I had was high volume - like a big lunch and moderate dinner. Have more liquids . Herbal teas. Fruit. Bring veggies to have in addition again to your lunches. When I feel myself struggling I try to go back to basics with food.
Keto doesn't allow fruit except 1/2 cup of berries, only occasionally.... this is a problem, I know. I'm trying to figure out what's right for me.