Somehow, I made it back here. Not quite at what I re-gained LAST winter, but certainly higher than where I was at the end of summer.
I'm not even sure what kind of plan I have as far as weight loss, but I do know that it has to come off, because where I am at right now is physically uncomfortable, especially in the hips area, where the excess flesh has compromised movement.
Not good.
But I do know that this year, I am going to work very hard on taking care of myself. Making better choices for myself. (I guess you could call that my plan.) More so in the eating and spiritual sense.
Since I canceled my gym membership (for financial reasons, mainly, but also because I no longer felt comfortable going to that particular establishment), my exercise has been nil. Nada. Nothing. I do know that once the weather turns nicer, I will have to work up the nerve to get myself out the front door and walk again. I enjoy walking but my neighbors are downright hostile. The ones at home during the day anyways.
I spend too much time on Facebook, playing those stupid games that give a person a false sense of accomplishment. Curtailing this had been one of my main desires for 2011 but so far it hasn't happened. At least not to the degree that I had hoped.
Progress as of today: 9 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
After gaining 2 lbs last Wednesday, which I knew were temporary, I am back down to 148, and now I am ready to continue the trend downward.
Last week's weigh-in (which I did not record here) was another speed bump in the road: Cheez-Its, not walking enough, not drinking enough water. Throw in some monthly water weight and there you have it.
I see now that it is nearly the middle of the month and I have not made any progress towards my October goal of 145. (I think in some places, I have it recorded as 144 or possibly even 143; this is unrealistic for me at this point, I can see.)
I cannot even begin to describe the level of stress I have been experiencing the first two weeks of this month. Most of this is in regards to the Old House that we have been trying to sell. (see previous entry)
We had a buyer, but they gave us a ridiculously low number. They came up and we had an agreement --- that left a bad taste in our mouths but you do what you have to do. Then we had the home inspection and the roof needs replacing.
Well, a new roof is thousands of dollars. We are already selling the house for more than $20k than we paid for it 10 years ago. So the buyers said that not only would the WALK AWAY from our deal, but that they would also start bidding on the house NEXT DOOR to our old house.
I told the husband, "Good, they should. It's a nicer house." And it is. But I didn't want them to walk away from our deal. So we took an even greater loss and gave them $3000 towards a new roof.
In the meantime, I had my court date. I did not bring papers I was supposed to bring (that I did not know I was supposed to bring). So I had a continuance, which was generous, but still just drove me down a downward spiral that I'm still trying to crawl out of. It did not help that I was served with papers a few days later on a related matter.
So that I gained only 2lb during PMS/TOM is actualy quite an accomplishment.
Progress as of today: 20 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
stay well and keep at it!
I could not believe the scale this morning. I felt so bloated and gross. No apparent reason for that -- in fact, I was feeling "munchy" last night and resisted because I knew weigh-in was this morning. So I can't blame late-night eating for feeling full this morning!
My last court appearance is this Friday. Ugh, what a day. I have to go to court and then I have 2 weddings to hostess, and the first one is a HUGE Filipino wedding. (I hear the mom on that one is very high maintenance.)
Instead of dreading this upcoming unpleasantness, I am actually catching myself being THANKFUL that it approaches. I wake up and think, "Yes, I am one day closer" and I settle down for the evening and think, "Yes, I made it through the day."
Today is the day that we hear back from the lawyer to see if our house-selling contract has been agreed upon. We have not heard anything about the results of the home inspection, so they are not asking us to fix anything (or pay to fix anything) before closing. So if we are going to hear any demands, they need to come today. We should also learn very soon when our closing date is.
We had to borrow money from my FIL to make it this month though.
Progress as of today: 20 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
Thank you to everyone who replied to my last entry. Not only did it feel really good to just summarize and unload the ordeal we've had with that house, but your encouragement and sympathy has given me new strength to continue forward.
I don't want to appear to be something I am not, so I do want you to know that these problems with the house -- and the subsequent fall-out with my personal life -- DID cause me to regain weight. Quite a bit of it in fact. But in retrospect, perhaps this was a "necessary evil" to help me learn how to separate "weight" from "life".
I no longer see my weight as a reflection of my day or my self-esteem or my self-worth. Now, it truly is "just a number". So why am I here? Because I do acknowledge that I'm still carying around extra weight. My body will figure out where it wants to be, so long as I keep up with healthy, moderate habits that I can sustain in my lifetime.
What does this have to do with anything? Well, I realized today that I have ONE WEEK to reach my weight loss goal for September. And I'm pretty sure I can do it. My goal - as I recall - was to get out of the 150's, and I am very close. It's just as well that I did not put forth 100% last week so that I could be even more motivated to push forward this week.
So here's hoping for a great week!
Progress as of today: 17.5 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!
Another half-pound gone, and I know that if I had put forth more effort and focused on my goal, it would have been more. This is good because I know I have the power to change my situation, at least in the diet world, LOL!
Stress, poor weather and busy-ness are the reasons for a less than stellar perforance. But this week is going to be different!
One thing that has changed is that I believe we have finally sold our Old House. This is the house that we lived in (and own) before we moved (and bought) the house we live in now. It has been a tremendous burden on our shoulders, to have this extra house.
I don't know, do you want to hear the gritty details? How we rented to someone we knew and she stiffed us 2+ months' rent and we had to take her to court to get her evicted? Or how we rented at a rock-bottom place to another lady we knew whose husband up and left her with 4 kids (one disabled with CP) after some 20 years of marriage? She got the rent at a horrendously cheap price, but she had the $$ up front. When she left, the house had definitely suffered some wear and tear. Four kids will do that, you know.
Do you want to hear how we tried to rent it out (after the 2nd lady moved out) but couldn't find anyone to rent it that would send back the application? How desperate people were to find decent housing that was also affordable?
Do you want to hear about the many many years and many many real estate agents we've had, trying to unload this house? Do you want to hear about how we sold it a couple of years back, before my life fell to ****, and the deal fell through? And that whole series of events led to what happened to me in my own life?
So you can see why I am not exactly jumping up for joy and celebrating -- although tequila sounds really good right about now. Maybe you can also understand why I am and will remain skeptical of this deal until we finally close.
But I have to say, it's a Godsend that we found a buyer when we did, because my family is on the Titanic of financial ships and things would be getting really really hard really really fast. (For example, we have $35 to live on until my husband gets paid next week and none of the bills, except for the mortgage have been paid.)
And we are all very ready to put this chapter of our lives (dh, me, the kids, heck probably even the cats) behind us.
Progress as of today: 17.5 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!
I will cross my fingers that everyone works out right with the prospective buyer. i cannot even imagine having to own TWO homes .... can't even imagine managing one.
After gaining a little weight -- and then getting back on track! -- I lost a little bit more (0.5) and weighed 151.0 this morning. Yay!
Life seems to be getting busier by the day. Not only is school (mine) kicking into high gear but the Wedding Hostess ministry that I help coordinate at my church is starting its new round of volunteers. 9 of them have email and 6 of them do not.
So I emailed the 9 with training dates and nobody has responded yet. I'm kind of wondering what's going on. I'll need to start making phone calls soon, for those who do not respond and for those who did not list an email.
But just about every Saturday in October, I'm busy with a wedding. It would be nice if I could fit into my Wedding Hostess dress by October.
Progress as of today: 17 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!
Yep, I gained a pound, but I am not at all discouraged. In fact, I am almost glad that I gave myself a week to slack off a bit and indulge my hormones --- and stress eating tendancies too, I'm afraid :-( THAT I'm not too happy about but oh well.
My downfall this week was clearly the overindulgence of cheese baked crackers. Definitely comfort food, but not binge eating by any means. Just overdid it.
Plus it is TOM soon, so I can really feel the bloat. It may be more psychological than anything -- can you feel 2 lbs? -- but I am ready to make better choices for myself this week.
Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!
Anticipating a TERRIBLE weigh-in this week. TOM must be coming soon because I have been really irritated by my husband's lack of anything other than sitting in front of his computer. And then today, I am feeling despair and sadness. So this sounds cyclical, and i know that if I can just hang in there, it will pass...
Unfortunately, I have been indulging in crackers quite a bit this week. That plus any water weight from the salt and carbs or water weight from PMS/TOM -- none of this bodes well.
Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!
Up half a pound, but I attribute that to PMS and humidity. Keeping a clear perspective on things, a half a pound is really not a change and just a fact of maintenance.
I am not maintaining at the moment -- still trying to lose the weight I gained over the winter -- but I'm taking a maintenance approach to weight loss this time. If it's something I can't really do for the rest of my life, I won't use it to lose weight, because I am tired of gaining 20-30lb every time life deals me something bad, because bad things are going to happen; it's part of life.
Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!
I thought this deserved its own post:
I am at the halfway mark to goal!!!
Actually, I'm a little past it, by 1/4 a pound, but in essence it's halfway...
Progress as of today: 16.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!
I'll look out for the 80% bar you mentioned--hope you're having a good week!
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I am glad you made it back. I think that just making the decision that you want to change and improve your health is a move in the right direction. I am sure you can get back to healthy eating and living if you really desire to do so.
V on 01/02/2011:
You can do it girl! Welcome back!
KathyBlue on 01/03/2011:
Welcome baaaack! I missed you!!!!!!
KathyBlue on 01/03/2011:
Hey, FB... wanna join DD's FB group? It's not visible from the outside, your friends won't know you're a member and anything you post there (or posts by others) are invisible for others, won't appear on your wall! If you'd like to join, please drop a line to sweetpea, she has the email in her BIO page! :) We'd love to have you there, too!!!!
KathyBlue on 01/03/2011:
AHHH, I'm confused with names vs. nicks (DD vs. FB) :D
biscottibody59 on 01/03/2011:
Happy New Year! I wish you all the best for 2011!
geevee on 01/04/2011:
I never got into FB or the games and don't think I ever will. Nevertheless, I found myself spending far too much time on the computer. To solve the problem, I disconnected my computer and now depend on the public library.