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Donkey - Wednesday Jan 03, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Hello Friends,

I am here tonight to dump my frustrations with work.  I just thought of the perfect word to describe my workplace:  TOXIC.

I resent getting dumped on in work - either by co-workers playing petty office politics, other attorneys, lenders, clients -- and then I come home, filled with all of these really negative feelings.  I do not want to come home and dump my negative feelings out on my family members, but this toxicity is so hard to carry around.

How do I just let this go?

So the office politics:  I'm trying to just let it slide off my back.  Most of the time I'm successful, but sometimes I slip a little.  It hurts.  But at least I can see now what my co-workers are doing to keep me out of the loop on things.  That's fine.  If it means that I have to eat lunch with these ******* in order to be kept in the loop, then forget it.  Because I don't eat with people who stab me in the back.

The rest of it though...  I don't know, maybe it's time for a change.  I still think that I should be able to leave work, leaving frustrations and pain at work, and come home and be happy-happy. 

So I'm home now, came straight here to put this all down to help calm down and organize my thoughts, and my husband keeps interrupting me with what happened with his day, even though I've asked him THREE times to just let me finish this and we can talk about this stuff at dinner.

I just came from the office with frustrations and come home and deal with more frustrations...  Now I must eat my dinner.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/04/2018:
It is so hard when you dislike your job. I think every office has their own brand of office politics....I saw it in the medical practice I worked for too. Basically what I did was...as I was getting into my car to leave...I switched the invisable off switch ( in my head)...and then it was my personal life again. I remember well the days when my husband would walk in the door from work and I would bombard him with my many tales of woe about the kids, the dog, the leaking faucet and my car with the low tire.....I wish I could go back and have a do over.....because I just wouldn't do it right at that moment. The other day Dr Phil said that they have a 4 minute rule.....no matter what happened that day...they couldn't talk about it for 4 minutes...and instead just spent that 4 minutes happy to be with each other again....then....they could both take turns telling their woes.....I'm hoping that today goes better for you.

Donkey on 01/04/2018:
This is a WONDERFUL idea! Today was much better, as I had to stop at the drug store on my way home to pick up some Rx's for my husband. A very nice way to decompress :-)

But I will try to visualize the on/off switch -- love that idea!

The 4-minute rule is a great idea too but I'm not sure that hubby can hold it in for that long, LOL. Still, I think he'll work with me on it.

horn_of_plenty on 01/05/2018:
Hello J-Donkey!

Regarding you writing first off about your work being TOXIC: trust me when I say this: MOST WORKPLACES ARE TOXIC! Listen to me, don’t just ignore what I’m saying PLEASE, because of all my job changes since I was a young teacher till now, between 10-15 years in multiple industries and as of late the past 7 years in this electrical industry, I’ve seen TONS of office politics, attitudes, prejudices, everything. I’ve seen some people get away with things while others get fired for doing the most minor things wrong….

My point to you is this….it’s Winter…it’s harder to remain positive, but I will you to take it less personally…like, let it annoy you, write about it here, but realize that you are probably more skilled than most others that work with you…or like you said, you have little help so you really are the “go to” person….so this is the case:

You must let it go…just do what you can at work…try not to waste time like I do by writing here to you now at work lol…but you MUST let it go for the sake of your health…both mental and physical. Simply learn to take it with a grain of salt? Is that a saying? You must come in, do your work, not work too much OT, and go home to another LIFE, a LIFE outside of your work life. SEPARATE the two…I am reading a book right now called The Slight Edge. Basically, what BOTH YOU AND I sometimes are lacking is the slight edge to being happy. We let negative thoughts roll on and forget to FIRST think of the positive. I’m going to give you exact examples later. This is VERY important actually.

Success comes with being happy. You MUST change your thought pattern….believe me,t rust me. This goes for me also. Let your workers and coworkers I mean, let them see you happy and smiling. Give off positivity. Believe you are happy. And when work gives you too much work, do what you can and breathe.

YOU ARE ALLOWED To leave work at work like you said. NOBODY is stopping you…you can still write about it here…I would be happy of course to read it…but you must laugh about it.

Keep working on letting the politics slide off your back…and NO, you do NOT have to eat with your coworkers. I like my space also and eat alone, especially now as we all eat at our desks. At work before in my other workplace a month ago where I was, I’d sometimes eat alone and sometimes with friends. ..the verdict is: YOU DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. You are the sole administrator of YOURSELF. Make your decisions, as you can, on what is best for you. If your husband needs you, explain you need some time when you get home to go online to do this…and tell him that when you are doing this, not to interrupt you so that you will feel better when you see him after you finish this. Just explain it’s a way you like to relax like meditation. Explain you have to do it for you to feel better before you are with your family. I guess say it’s a way you take care of yourself. This is exactly what I’d say to Ricky…or any other man or person in my life also, if I lived with them.

Even when I am with ricky, I sometimes go on DD to update food…I tell him I just need a moment to update this….that I’ve been doing it a long time and it’s something I always do…and for him to give me a moment…and he does …because he is also doing something usually….or he always could use some time to himself even when we are together. Your hubby needs to let you do your thing..just explain it calmly. YOU ARE FINE. DONKEY, just continue to take care of yourself. You cannot help others till you are OK yourself. Do the things that make you happy. Eat your lunch alone at work, but don’t be thinking negative. Read a little happy thing everyday…I was starting to do this at work. TRUST that if you start to see the positive in things, it’ll become more of a habit. You decide how much happiness you have in life. Make sure you DO make decisions to eliminate some stress and give yourself time to yourself…at home and work. Nobody can take away your happiness except you. BELIEVE IT.

Donkey on 01/06/2018:
So much of what you said is spot on... I just have to remember to keep focusing on those goals (for myself) and not get sucked back into the toxicity.

Believe it or not, most of the time, I do walk around smiling and humming a happy tune, as a cover to my co-workers, especially to the Awful One. I know that she's very jealous of my weight loss, so she does what she can to bring me down.

So -- what I really need to do is work on maintaining my center, my focus.

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
I thought this book was really good...

Working with You Is Killing Me: Freeing Yourself from Emotional Traps at Work by Katherine Crowley, Kathi Elster "For anyone trapped in an energy-zapping relationship with a co-worker, boss, or subordinate, Crowley and Elster offer an exit strategy - a highly practical and easily implemented guide to making the situation workable." - Publishers Weekly https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/working-with-you-is-killing-me-katherine-crowley/1103271625?type=eBook

Donkey on 01/06/2018:
Oh yes, I will be checking my library for this book. I think an exit strategy is what I need. Not necessarily to leave my job, but rather to exit the toxicity. Thanks!

Donkey - Monday Jan 01, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

I decided to weigh-in today for a 1/1/18 measurement, even though Saturdays are official weigh-in days for me.  Up a few pounds, but I definitely relaxed a bit over the weekend - as I usually do.  I thought it might be fun to look back at the end of 2018 and see where I've taken the numbers.

So my goals for 2018 are as follows:

  1. Wear more black.
  2. Eat more vegetables
  3. Keep a gratitude journal - That is, I want to write down daily anything I am thankful for.

Our houseguest leaves late tomorrow evening...  I was looking around the basement this morning, as I was stretching out, and realized how much more cleaning we have to do to get this house ready to sell.  I've got to get folks who get to stay home during the day to work on this as a serious effort, if we're going to do this.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/01/2018:
Sounds like great goals...I LOVE to wear black...that and navy...always have!

Donkey on 01/01/2018:
Navy counts as black for purposes of this year's goal ;-)

Maria7 on 01/01/2018:
Happy New Year!

Donkey on 01/01/2018:
Thank you - you too!

horn_of_plenty on 01/02/2018:
I love your goals! Regarding your house, do what is within reason and try not to make yourself literally sick over it. Trust me sickness as we both know is seriously not worth it! Try getting extra rest to remain healthy which is what I'm doing also to feel 100%. I have to skip gym still until my symptoms are no longer below my neck which I read is a good rule of thumb....

horn_of_plenty on 01/02/2018:
Like you I have also indulged - not sure how much cut back I can do right now - but more importantly I am seeing that indulging MODERATELY is far better and far healthier than going into endless indulgence.

This is one of the first times I've been mostly homebound and not overindulged to the point of definite weight gain.

Back to you:....

horn_of_plenty on 01/02/2018:
Like you write below that your goals are not totally weight loss or career specific, I'm with you totally and doing the same. My goals are more moderate and general healthful. These are important goals which lead to balance and happiness. I agree it's turning over a new leaf and an excellent way to think! Rock solid agreement !

Maria7 on 01/03/2018:
Hope you are having a good day.

Donkey - Sunday Dec 31, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 124.5

SO GLAD WE'RE BACK ONLINE!!!  Thank you DD Webmaster!!! 

Logged in to get the final weigh-in of the year.  When DD was not working, and the future looked uncertain, I was trying to think of ways to log my weigh-ins for 2018, which I could manage but not blog too.

I'm feeling optimistic about the upcoming year.  I have a short list of goals for myself, and they are not weight-loss nor work related this time around - I think maybe I've finally learned to turn the page.  2017 was a very tough year, and I know that there will be some tough things to face in 2018, but I still feel like we're gonna be OK.

Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only -12 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/31/2017:
Here's hoping that 2018 is better for you......all things are possible and a new fresh start is always a good thing. Happy New Year!

horn_of_plenty on 01/02/2018:
Hiiii J Donk !! Wow so you logged as soon as you could gf! Already twice ! Cheers to you - you very pretty lady ! Never give up bc you look outstanding !

Donkey - Saturday Dec 23, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 124.0

As I mentioned in my last entry, these problems at work are just the kick in the butt I needed to get where I wanted to be.  I didn't realize how toxic eating lunch with these people every day was to not only diet and exercise but also to my mental well-being.  I think we're all happier this way.  Or maybe I'm becoming the square peg in a round hole...  Not sure, but not taking the chance of creating more mess, so I'm sticking to keeping my distance and just doing my job.

So my weigh-in this week is a combination of being too upset to eat lunch a couple of days, being sick and not eating as much, and additional walking time at lunch.  I predict that once I get over this cold/sinus infection, the weight will come back on...  Not sure where I want to go with this.

I had a client accuse me of ruining her entire holiday yesterday.  How do you think that makes me feel?  We're in the middle of home inspection negotiations, and the buyers have asked to have an exterminator come out and address the evidence of rodents.  Unfortunately, the letter came late in the day, but I forwarded it to her anyway, because we need to move forward, and she had been asking for updates on her file.  Then she emails me back saying how upset she is with me because I sent this to her on a holiday weekend when nothing can be done.  Which is not entirely true, because she can think about it, and businesses that are open on Saturday will still be open on Saturday.  So she can probably call Orkin.

I responded, "If it's any consolation, I will spend my whole holiday weekend worrying about your transaction."  

My husband continues to heal and improve from his double hip replacement surgery.  My mom texted me yesterday to say that she thinks my step-father is now slipping towards his end.  

Our houseguest has arrived for the holiday.  We all came to a compromised and moved the futon out of the basement and into a spare bedroom (that had been holding our packing boxes).  So I can still exercise in the basement early in the morning, and the guest and my daughter are on the same floor. 

Today the family (& houseguest) are going to see the new Star Wars movie.  Then we will meet up with my sister and her husband (from California) for dinner.  Trying to focus on spending time with people rather than gifts this year.

Progress as of today: 62.5 lbs lost so far, only -12.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/23/2017:
I will never understand clients who think that someone else telling them facts will ruin their day......amazing what people think about..and also amazing that anyone has to worry about FEELINGS, when they HAVE to know the facts...UGH. The more I'm around people the more I like animals. Sounds like a nice Christmas holiday for you and your family...Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Donkey - Wednesday Dec 20, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

So spitting MAD about the people I work with...

YESTERDAY they all ganged up on me and complained to the boss that I was being too mean.  Too mean... this from someone who makes 10 mistakes on EVERY file she opens up.  This from someone who hides files in her office, so that when a client calls and yells at ME, I don't have answers, but she sure does.  This from someone who jumped down my throat and said that I was causing her hives, just because I mentioned that the seller hadn't signed the contract.  Okay, yep it's all my fault. 

So when my boss sat me down to talk to me about this, I told him that I didn't appreciate all of my co-workers stabbing me in the back like that, and that this isn't all on me.  Yet the boss says that I need to make it work. What???

So TODAY even though I am SICK and coughing and feverish, I went to work, because I told my boss that I think that I am acting in and protecting my best interests by coming to work so that people can't talk about me behind my back!

I ended up leaving work early today...  and I think I just might come in late tomorrow.  But I'll be damned if I'm eating lunch with any of these backstabbers again.  I'm very particular about who I eat lunch with, and now that I know I can't trust any of them, I'll just leave them to their own nastiness, because sooner or later, they will start turning on each other.  (In fact, they already do, except for our Queen Bee with the hives, who can do whatever she wants and not get in trouble...)

On the bright side, this is the kick in the butt that I needed.  I can eat at my desk from now on, while I work, so I will spend my lunch hours walking.

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/20/2017:
Work ethic seems to be in short supply unfortunately and we are living in the times of everybody doing their own thing with no consequences....one thing is for sure, eventually other people figure out who the agitators are and then they get whats coming to them......people are jerks. Hang in there...she will get her due.

Donkey on 12/23/2017:
Thank you (((hugs)))

horn_of_plenty on 12/21/2017:
Hi donkey -

Some people just always get their way. They can be loud and backstab and nobody cares not even the boss. But don't fret and I know you are sick but try to take it less personally and more thinking it's just her personality - the backstabbeR. Do your work and try not to work extra and maybe double up on vitamin C and zinc which is what I will try tonight along with daytime cold medicine - I already had nighttime medicine at home - going to the pharmacy in my car Once I get home to pick up my regular unrelated Rx and cold medicine too :) I forgot what being sick feels like - the aches and pains - no exercise for me right now - was gonna go tomorrow but I may still be sick and it just makes me more sick whenever I try to exercise on low energy while sick :/ I am thinking you feel that way too..I hope not to be sick all winter . And wish the same for you!

Donkey on 12/23/2017:
I hope you are feeling better -- this is no fun.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/21/2017:
I agree with BCGG...although even if she gets her due, she may deserve even more than what the boss gives her. these people get away with things, not sure how....but they are in short supply and the rest of us must BEHAVE :-)

Donkey on 12/23/2017:
Right - I just have to focus on me and what I do or say. Most of my problems would not be here if I would just learn to SHUT UP.

Maria7 on 12/22/2017:
Hope you are having a good evening. Hope you're feeling better.

Donkey on 12/23/2017:
Thank you - things still aren't right, but I am feeling better.

Donkey - Sunday Dec 17, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

I wanted to comment on a couple of comments or conversations that came up here on Diet Diaries that I've found helpful to me:

"How do I keep getting older and never get any smarter?"  - This is the story of my life.  It's like I'm trying to learn the same lessons over and over again -- losing weight, contentment with my body, happy with who I am and where I'm at , not saying really offensive things that get me into serious trouble -- and I mean serious.  I guess I have to repeat until I actually change, but sometimes it's hard to change who you are -- or should I say, what I've become.  It really bothers me when I say things that are really offensive. It's like, "Will I EVER learn?  Just SHUT UP already!"

  • I'm grateful that I have people around me who handle these situations better than I do.  They are a good influence on me.  While I might not be able to actually change inwardly, I can "walk the walk" and follow their examples.  My boss, my co-workers, my husband (only sometimes), my children (especially).

"Never get too far into your own head" - This is something I really need to watch.  I know I overthink things, which sometimes can be a GOOD thing, like at work, to think things through, but sometimes it ends up being self-defeating by clogging the thought-processes towards a successful outcome.  Again, I don't know if this is something I can change about myself.  It would help, though, if I would relax more rather than reacting (too) quickly.

This week ahead:  our houseguest arrives on Thursday, which will throw off my routine for 2 whole weeks.  I haven't worked out the details yet, but my exercise routine is sure to be challenged.

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/17/2017:
You know Donkey....it's funny....I'm 68 and I feel the same way....my Dad passed away at 83...and a couple of weeks before, he was commenting on all of the things he wished that he had done..or at least felt that he should have done and a week before his death he made a comment in the hospital about a window company he thought made a poor window...when the roommates visitor stepped over and said that "HE" worked for that window company and they made very good quality windows....my Dad said..."I'm sorry...I said the wrong thing again"....I think at that point I realized that we are basically never done learning....we are going to fall down and as long as we get up each time...we will be ok. We aren't supposed to be perfect.

happy-1 on 12/17/2017:

Horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2017:
yes, some of the Nutcracker score was a variation in Hip Hop style, but a lot of the music was actually also the same exact score. Mostly a recording. The also had a live violinist playing some music also in Hip Hop stlye at the beginning, before intermission, after intermission, and at the end. Their take on the score when a variation of the original in Hip Hop was very good and entertaining!

horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2017:
with the getting older and not smarter - YOU ARE getting smarter, but we continuously learn in life - so there's always somethign new to learn and new lessons to learn...so don't feel dumb, feel like a human being! it's natural. don't think of yourself as being different from everyone - we are all alike in this manner. continue to have confidence. you are NOT stupid. You ARE SMART!

Donkey - Saturday Dec 16, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

Pleased - and relieved - with my weigh-in.  Wasn't too sure because it's been quite a week:

  • Boss insisted I partake in the mini-bundt cake gift we received at yesterday's lunch, and before I could even THINK "no thank you", I had a little cake on my plate!
  • Had an entire foot-long Subway Reuben sandwich for dinner on Thursday. I've been wanting to try these forever, and since Mr. Donkey flaked out on dinnner prep, we had these instead.  I was not quite hungry since I'd had a lot of raw vegetables in the afternoon at work, but the sandwich was SO GOOD, I ate it all.
  • Said Reuben sandwhich was very salty - delicious but not conducive to successful weigh-ins, LOL...
  • Had salty dinner on Tuesday with the husband.  Both kids had work that night, so it was just us.  Tuna melts, and then a side plate of bacon... Oh my... 


So if you haven't noticed, I tend to eat a lot of salt.  I've given up many vices (sugar, alcohol, carbs), so salt remains probably the last of the vices to tackle, which leads me to my next subject...

Starting to gravitate towards new goals for 2018.  I didn't think I'd have any, to be honest. 

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/16/2017:
Those subways are sooo good.....that is one place we do have within 15 minutes of us. I keep forgetting about them though...need to keep them in mind. Congrats on the weigh in...you are doing FANTASTIC!

Donkey on 12/17/2017:
Thank you!

happy-1 on 12/19/2017:
Mmmm salt.

Donkey - Sunday Dec 10, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

In my quest for peace & reconciliation with the whole body/weight thing, it occurred to me this morning:  what is weight exactly?

So I weighed in higher this week.  Is that accurate?  For example, when I came back from Thanksgiving with my family, I had gained 6 pounds.  At next week's weigh-in, I had lost the 6 pounds.  Is that possible that I lost that much substance (mass)? 

If I drink 64 ounces of water and weigh myself, and the number is higher, have I really gained that weight?  or is it just a temporary flux?

I'm not sure where I'm going with this right now...  Maybe I need to weigh less often?  (Might be easier said than done, LOL...)

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/10/2017:
Supposedly the best time to weigh in is when you first get up in the morning ( after using the bathroom).....after that we start holding water, eating breakfast, getting dressed etc.......weigh in undressed or wearing the same thing each time.....I know with me...anything can almost become an obsession...at least temporarily..a lot of people weigh in once a week..

horn_of_plenty on 12/11/2017:
at the restaurant on Saturday night i ordered this drink from the menu:

Bright & Balmy ourtakeonadark&stormy •mezcal• aperol• grapefruit•gingerbeer

It was one of their mixed cocktails. It wasn't sweet, not too sweet, thankfully. But it wasn't tasty really. however, not being sweet is a good thing...i didn't drink it up fast ;)

but it wasn't too good....prob better off ordering beer...lower cal also probably than these mixed drinks...?

horn_of_plenty on 12/11/2017:
will write more for you later :) in regards to your entries i have yet to comment on (this one and the previous entry!)

horn_of_plenty on 12/11/2017:
There's tons of weight fluctuation based on the volume of the food you eat. When i stuff myself with vegetables one night, i'll weigh much more in the morning compared to if i ate something small like a dunkin donuts egg sandwich for dinner without much vegetables or volume. When i used to eat a protein bar for dinner, or recently those protein cookies, there's no volume and i'd weigh low the next morning.

weigh less if you think it's not worth it to weigh frequently due to fluctuations. i weigh no more than 1x a week (usually). now that i wrote it, i'll probably weigh myself everyday this week! lol. i will also comment on the below entry of yours later :)

horn_of_plenty on 12/11/2017:
i think you are thinking too much about food / weight...based on your last entry.

you look GREAT. i hope you don't want to now give up and gain the weight back.

you can still relax and celebrate with food...i do too!

but i'm tell you - all the veggies and the changes you made in your life look good on you. i don't see a reason to quit.

you can enjoy and relax on christmas, it's one day, but then you have to work on going back :)

the more weight training i do, the more i can also eat.

horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2017:
LASTLY, never get too much into your head...where you forget to be happy about things...and forget to be thankful for the good.


This is a reminder to myself as well :)

horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2017:
There is nothing good happening if we are to turn ourselves into "victims"....so, i'm working and being happy for now on....no matter what.

i've begun to realize that if i'm giving lots of commitments for my industry like a union meeting tonight, that i can also plan for myself commitments that i want (like signing up for the auxiliary police) on Thursday night...i am not giving up on my own happiness...i will continue to make my own unique life as long as i possibly can!

so don't forget yourself in all the mishmash...always remember that YOU ARE WORTH IT.

do not give up and stop maintaining your weight...keep on...do not dial back to what you were before, KEEP ON.


Maria7 on 12/13/2017:
Hope you are having a good day.

Donkey - Saturday Dec 09, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Gained a pound but still under 130 and way below goal so I'm fine with it.

I came to the realization yesterday that, even though I did meet my weight loss goal (and surpassed it a little), that the REAL problem is that I'm just not happy with my actual body.   Unfortunately, that's NOT something that can change.  I know weight training can change some proportions, but not in the way I want to look. 

So here I am again, at 47, still struggling with being comfortable in my own skin.

In addition, I was watching some "Christmas in Switzerland" TV special this morning, and it made me realize that the way I eat -- lots of vegetables, minimal sugar, cutting carbs -- that really cuts into being able to relax and celebrate with food.  And while vegetables are great and probably the way we should all eat more of, is that a realistic way to eat on a long-term basis?

I've lost the same 50 pounds at least 3 times, this is either the 3rd or 4th time.  This time, I wanted it to be something that was sustainable and maintainable, realistic not sadistic, and for the most part, I've done that - although I admit that sometimes I feel like a slave to my Fitbit -- but here I am again.

Someone knock some sense into me - please!

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/09/2017:
Hi Donkey...thank you for your input into my rant of yesterday.........We apparently share the frustration of just not being happy with us. Is it that we never learned to love ourselves? Instead of concentrating on food and exercise...should we be looking at other things about ourselves that we come by naturally? We probably take our good points for granted as if we don't deserve to take credit for those. Instead we decide that we have to let society, magazines and celebrities tell us what we should be striving for...I have a fitbit...it's in the drawer...LOL..I thought because I bought it...it would magically make me thinner...like the DVD's and the diet books...well...it didn't work like that for me....The fact is...I'm a sedentary person, I love medical books, I love junk food and carbs and basically all junk food is carbs!!! Can we mold ourselves into something that someone else says we should be? Or should we love ourselves as we are so that we can just naturally improve on us? Will we be happy cramming ourselves into the mold society sets for us? If we are miserable and don't want to face a new day....then how is that good for us? I know I hit a wall yesterday...I was actually sitting back and watching myself beat myself up and rebel like a bratty kid....that was my wake up call......food isn't my problem, it is the symptom of my problem....I use it to beat myself up because I'm not happy with me....when I finally make me happy.....the rest will fall into place. Maybe it works like that for you too....

Donkey on 12/10/2017:
If weight-loss was something you could study for, I'd be a champ.

Can't really read or study for it -- weight loss is all action in order to see results. And my body just wasn't made for that, it seems. (Ask my feet, knees, hips, and back...)

bearcountrygg on 12/10/2017:
I hear you...all of the knowlege in the world doesn't fix it...doing it does....Darn it!

Donkey - Monday Dec 04, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.0

Coming here to unload...  I swear I thought I was gonna lose it today -- just at the end of my rope.  Too busy and too tired and too stressed.

Truth be told, what caused me the most strife was the ice cream dessert I had last night.  Paid for all that sugar big time today....  Tried to do better today, will do even BETTER tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/04/2017:
awwwww....Feel better...tomorrow is another day!

horn_of_plenty on 12/05/2017:
Hi J-Donk!

Sounds like your boss likes you – to be able to tell (him?) about your garage cleanup endeavor! It looked good in your fb pics, like a new garage! I bet you wish you had it this way from the start! Clutter is hard to get rid of, I bet you thought you wanted those things from the garage that you didn’t get rid of till now!?

When you feel like you felt in the first paragraph, you must try to find some time to relax for yourself. Easier said than done, maybe, but it’s important for your health mentally and physically. I was feeling that way last week when all of a sudden I was working OT everyday again.

Yes, sometimes when I eat high calories or fat or sugar, the body continues to crave it into the next day…And its usually better to gradually get back to where you were before the sugar, which it sounds like you are doing. Don’t regret it too much – I see you are getting back. KEEP ON!

happy-1 on 12/06/2017:
Hugs, I know the feeling. It usually makes me buy steak so I can pretend I am eating my enemies.

Donkey on 12/09/2017:
ROFL - this is too funny and TRUE -- I *must* try this!!!

Donkey on 12/09/2017:
ROFL - this is too funny and TRUE -- I *must* try this!!!

bearcountrygg on 12/06/2017:

Maria7 on 12/06/2017:
Hope you have a good day. :-)

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