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view Donkey bio page
Donkey - Monday Jun 28, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 0.0

I think I'm ready to come back. 

For those of you who are new or newer to DD, I have been a member for quite some time, but hadn't posted in nearly 6 months.  My last post was written on the first of the year, and since then, It has been an uphill struggle to say the least.

If you will notice, my progress bar is not shown because I had gained a considerable amount of weight from the Jan. 1st as I sunk into a deep depression and struggled with foot/knee/hip problems.

I finally went and got myself some physical therapy to help with the foot (plantar fasciitis) and knee (baker's cyst) which helped reconcile the hip pain.  I am no longer the "cardio queen" that I used to be.  However, in keeping with the spirit of thinking positive, I am back to walking -- nearly an hour every day -- and biking with my daughter.

I've also started a water streak, making sure that I get 2L (8 cups, 64 oz) of water every day.  This has helped keep my eating in check, for the most part.

Since gaining weight, stabilizing and now losing *once again*, the extreme sugar cravings and the binge eating episodes I was struggling with very badly for the past 2 years have ceased.  I'm not sure if this is because I was too low in weight (for my body -- I guess I'm destined to be a larger person, even though I"m quite short) or if it was because of all the cardio and weight training, or if it was emotional reasons, or some or all of the reasons listed above.

The important thing is that I got off that merry-go-round and am leading a life of attempted moderation.  I say attempted because lately, I've been feeling uncomfortably full after meals, although I believe this is a psychological feeling more than an actual physical issue.  Perhaps a better ideal would be "mindful moderation"...

I am still very involved in volunteering, both at my church and in the community. I am a wedding hostess at my church, still, which I love doing.  And I am involved with literacy tutoring with the ESL program at the local communtiy college. 

I am still unemployed, however, and I struggle each and every day with feelings of despair, worthlessness, loathing, etc.  Not necessarily due to the unemployment but rather due to the cause of unemployment.  It's a long story, and I try very hard to put the past behind, not to think ahead too far, and to stay focused on the here and now.

nutri_fitt on 06/28/2010:
This is a good place to get some support - good for you for coming back!

just42day on 06/28/2010:
Welcome back! Sounds like you're keeping yourself busy even if you are unemployed. I've been unemployed for waaay too long so I really understand feelings of despair etc. Regardless for the reason for unemployment, it's still unemployment. Good for you for all your volunteer work! Good idea, too, to stay focused on the here and now. I hope you find support and great ideas now that you're back on the site. Best of luck to you!

biscottibody59 on 06/28/2010:
I appreciate your comment--thanks! And good to see you back here posting again.

Walking has been good for me in hard times--good for my head in many ways. Glad you got the physical things addressed too!

Mindful moderation sounds like a good idea!

Moody3 on 06/28/2010:
Don't know if you remember me or not, but I remember you...I too, have been MIA for quite some time..after reading your entry, I decided to come out of hiding as well~

Looking forward to reading you again!!!

don'tstoptrying on 06/29/2010:
I'm so glad your back and am looking forward to getting to know you better. But may I ask why do you call yourself Donkey? :)

Donkey - Friday Jan 01, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.0

Weighed in this morning, just to keep up with the tradition of knowing what I weigh at the beginning of the year.

I attribute the slight increase in weight to increased alcohol consumption.

Today has been uneventful other than going to Mass and watching my son serve.  This afternoon, I got a chance to use the Wii that my kids got for Christmas (courtesy of my folks, thank you Grandma).  Oh my!  I can see how that could be used for workout purposes.  My daughter and I played bowling (2x), golf (2x), baseball (1x), tennis (1x) and boxing (3x - best out of 3).  That boxing game was so fun(ny).  Neither one of us had any idea what we were doing.  We were just swinging our arms really really fast, and whoever went down for the count lost.

Afterwards my daughter said, "I need a drink of water!  My arms really hurt!"  Me too!

I have the Wii Fit (whatever) and I will start to press Husband to set that up so that I can use that on a regular basis. 

I've started to track calories again using Sparkpeople.com, since I don't want to put too much thought into it.  That and drink water and stay active. 

Tomorrow I am hostessing 2 weddings in my new outfit and pantyhose (which you will recall I had to buy because my regular stuff no longer fits).  I am looking forward to that, but I must remember to pack some kind of snack or lunch for in between.

Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

MoodyMe on 01/01/2010:
I love the Wii~bowling and golfing are so much fun!! I haven't done the Wii Fit but have seen friends do it..I'm tempted to get one for myself!

Have fun tomorrow~enjoy yourself while hostessing~

Happy New Year!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/03/2010:
1. in the entry below, i AGREE with "Even if i look like cr-p i should try to look my best." you bet you should. or at least if you can't look your very best everyday, try at least for a couple days a week when you have the time!? lol, i'm such a lazy-butt myself when it comes to getting decked out...hehe.

2. nice to see you bought a few clothes that flatter you.

3. yes, pack a snack or lunch for hostessing...and pack enough not to deny yourself causing you to binge later bc you were trying to be restrictive while working.

4. have fun hostessing. i know you like to be busy and occupied. i'm the same way - would rather be busy WORKING than doing nothing all day or having ample time to myself. i'm not a fan of using my time the way it should be so i'd rather have structured work and just reasonable time time myself. not loads.

5. i always find a way to ramble in my comments to you.

6. happy new year.

7. i hope to read more soon...and 7 is a lucky number so i'll stop here!

see_maw on 01/12/2010:
WII is fun and I wa ssore from bowling, so sad!! LOL

see_maw on 01/12/2010:

biscottibody59 on 01/21/2010:
Wondering where you're at--no weigh-in on the 15th or soo???

Hope you're hangin' in there!

biscottibody59 on 06/21/2010:
Nice to see a "cheers" from you Donkey--hope you're doing well! Hang in there!

Donkey - Tuesday Dec 29, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 153.0

Today I bit the bullet and went shopping for clothes in a larger size for 2 weddings that I am hostessing for on Saturday. 

I was looking for something dressy, yet neutral.  I looked at several suits.  I almost bought a light grey tweed-y looking suit (jacket, skirt, pants -- everything lined, too!) but decided to pass because they were in size 16.  Even though they fit, they were almost at the point of being too big.  And I did not want to spend $$ on something that will not fit in a month or 2 (hopefully).  

Or maybe it was the fact that it said "size 16" and I just don't want to admit to myself that this is where I'm at.  I don't think that's it though.  I tried on other size 16 suits that were obviously too big.

So what I bought was a black skirt (size 14) and 2 fancy tops in size Large.  More versatile I think, and more motivation to try to lose weight.

Because even if I feel like cr*p, I should at least try to look my best.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 23 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 12/29/2009:
Oh, I hear you - clothes - I'm trying to just get by until I fit back in my smaller clothes. Buying things that I can work around. We can do this - there is no better motivator than clothes, girl! Sorry you are feeling down - I was too, but feeling better now - Hope you will, too, before long!

geevee on 12/29/2009:
You can't imagine the lengths I went to to deny the fact that I was a size 16. "This brand or style runs small" I found an excuse for not accepting the fact of my new size. I like your idea of a blck skirt and fancy top. It's probably a lot cheaper too..

Soon2BThin on 12/29/2009:
You know, I really think they are making the clothes smaller. I bought a size 2X top at WalMart, I thought it looked the right size when I held it up, but it was tight. I know I've gained weight but a 2X??? That's enough to make me try harder to lose, haha!

nenak on 12/30/2009:
here in england we run 2 sizes smaller. therefore the size 16 you tried on would only be a 12 here! anyway sticking together we will achieve! good luck!

mcwoo40 on 12/30/2009:
Thanks for your message,hope you have a great 2010,Julie

greengirl on 12/30/2009:
Wishing you all the best for the New Year :)

nita51 on 12/31/2009:
2010 Your Victory Year!

legcramps on 12/31/2009:
It's almost a certainty that even if we feel horrible about our bodies, dressing up even a little bit will help us to feel better about ourselves. Happy New Year!

Donkey - Tuesday Dec 22, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 153.0

No weigh in yet, putting it off again...  Just as I have been putting off stepping back into the gym, after taking several days off recovering from a sinus infection.

Today, there is enough snow to shovel that I won't need to go to the gym.

I need to get back on track with drinking water. 

But other than that, I'm trying to keep my head up and look forward.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 23 lbs to go!

see_maw on 12/22/2009:
Yeah, LOL, looks like we may be the same size, heh! Good luck to you!!

see_maw on 12/22/2009:
PS: Dont you hate that they throw in your face "ONLY" 23 lbs to go! (Like they are making fun of us?) Grrr...

legcramps on 12/23/2009:
I need to shovel, too. Crazy snow here. Have a good day :)

nita51 on 12/24/2009:
Right about the snow,, I lived in Indiana. I don't drink enough water either. but my new years resolution, will be 2 make water my best friend. HAPPY HOLIDAYS1

biscottibody59 on 12/25/2009:
Merry Christmas!

Donkey - Saturday Dec 19, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 153.0

New weight loss journey, new progress bar...

I've been sick for the past week with an awful sinus infection that has moved around.  Now it is in my chest and has settled there.  The first day I was feeling poorly, I still pushed myself to go to the gym.  But since then, I have not been back.  First I was sneezing too much, and then I have been coughing too much.

Normally, the "old me" would have pushed through and gone to the gym at whatever the coast.

This time, the "new me" has decided that resting up might serve her (me) better.

The weight is coming off but oh so slowly.  That is OK, because this time, whatever comes off, I want to STAY off. 

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 23 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/20/2009:
hi donkey! lately i've been doing the shorter, more intense, cardio too. i have trouble sometimes with longer periods of cardio at the gym...doing it outside is ALWAYS easier for me. but, my plan today is actually only cardio at the gym. one good idea is to switch off on cardio, taking some time on all the cardio machines. it helps the minutes fly by faster!

nice to see a new progress bar and that you are progressing! never stop with weights. they are the best. aside from the fact that my mom said i am becoming "amazon woman" and my dad says i shouldn't have such big arms. lol. they are not as muscular as i would like them, still too much fat. but, progress takes time, right!?

stay well. glad you are resting up! lets both continue with our progress this winter!

geevee on 12/20/2009:
Patience is the key. Slow and steady wins the race!

hav22 on 12/24/2009:
Hi! we seem to be in the same weight range! How are things going for you? i feel like ill never reach my goal but ive just gotta be patient!

Donkey - Tuesday Dec 15, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.5

One of the reasons why I don't weigh in regularly is because I am having problems with the arch in my right foot that requires me to put on gym shoes as soon as I get out of bed.  If I go shoeless or if I wear slippers (that have no support), then my foot starts to hurt. 

I did very well yesterday.  I got in all of my water plus some decaf herbal tea.  No late night snacking.  35 minutes of a progressively intense routine on the elliptical plus a little weight training.  I think I do better with the shorter, but more intense cardio.

Today I am busy turoring my math student and my throat is very sore, so I think I will opt out of the gym today.  I had sort of planned to rest today anyway. 

So my focus today, again, is the water, no late night snacking and moderate portion control at meals.

Progress as of today: 24.5 lbs lost so far, only 25.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 12/15/2009:
Take care of that sore throat, too. It could be leading up to a nasty cold!

selina on 12/16/2009:
Thanks for the comment on my page. I know I can do it, i just need to put my mind into it. Keep up your good work and stay well.

Donkey - Monday Dec 14, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.5

I did much better yesterday until the evening.  I couldn't find my water bottle.  Instead of looking for it, I decided that I would snack instead.  How stupid is that?

So today I must make sure that I know the whereabouts of my water bottle at all times, if I am to make my water goal for the day.  I know I can do that, at least.

I did make it to the gym for an hour of cardio.  I used the elliptical and didn't have nearly the amount of joint pain that I had when I was using the treadmill.  So I don't know if it is a treadmill issue or if it because I'm getting back on track.

I think this week, I would like to try doing 35 min. of cardio on the elliptical and then some weight training, to keep things balanced.  If I want to do more cardio, then, I can seek out a different machine.

I have to try a different approach because I see that what I am used to doing isn't working this time around.

Progress as of today: 24.5 lbs lost so far, only 25.5 lbs to go!

panda22 on 12/14/2009:
Thank you for the comment! Your joint pain could have resulted from the treadmill because it is higher impact on your knees, etc. The elliptical is much more low impact because you bend your legs instead of walking straight on them. My mom had knee surgery and they told her no treadmill but let her get on the elliptical once she recovered. She says she can feel the difference between it and even taking a walk outside on her knee and joints. Anyway, it's good that you recognize that you need a change in strategy this time around. Maybe that will help you stay on track once you find something that works this time, because doing something that doesn't work only leads to the feeling of "it's not working so why should I try?", and you don't want that! Hope you have a good day today and keep that water bottle strapped to your hip if you have to! You can do it!

ColorMeBlue on 12/14/2009:
I seem to have the same issues with water. I have a hard time remembers to drink it. You did work out so that is great! Hope you have a day.

Donkey - Sunday Dec 13, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.5

OK, so I am resolved to getting back on track and tackling this extra weight starting this week.

I had an opportunity present itself to me last week, and I did not act upon it because -- well there were many reasons -- but one of the main reasons is that I have no nicer clothes that fit me. 

This was one of those "light bulb" moments because I realized -- before it was too late and I jumped into something unprepared -- that I still need to do more work on ME first.

So that is what I plan to do.  Work on getting myself to a stronger position so that I feel more confident -- some of which comes from having nice clothes that fit properly -- before I put myself out there.

My three goals this week are:

1.  Drink at least 2 L of water a day (8 cups).

2.  Get to the gym at least 5x this week.

3.  No late night snacking, keep snacks to less than 200 calories.

I hope you won't mind hearing from me more often.  Logging in to report progress is one way to stay accountable.

Progress as of today: 24.5 lbs lost so far, only 25.5 lbs to go!

geevee on 12/13/2009:
A lack of having any decent clothes that fit does it for me every time. I HATE to shop for clothes when I am extra fat. I wouldn't survive without my daughter's C.A.R.E. packages. I have clothes from size 8 to 14 from her.

Meanwhile, the poor dear has eaten herself up to a size 16 or 18. I daren't ask!

You have good plans for the week. Don't think about going to the gym. Just go!

Glad to see you back again.

panda22 on 12/13/2009:
Good that you are back! Your goals sound great for the week and you can accomplish them! Def stop in more often, I agree that posting here make us accountable..it always helps me! Have a great Sunday!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/13/2009:
hi donkey. thanks for your happy holiday wishes. :-) thanks for thinking of me!

hey, i'm so happy to hear you are doing well. remember, progress is supposed to be gradual. don't worry so much about weight - just enjoy the gym and don't do what i did - DON'T overload on caffeine before and during your workout! haha.

stay well and have a lovely, good week! :-)

looking foward to your entries. keep looking up.

loveray on 12/13/2009:
yes post! staying in the dark is always the death of me. i think we should all commend ourselves for at least being accountable and conscious especially during this time of year. thanks so much for the well-wishes! xo

Donkey - Friday Nov 27, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.0

I'm still fat.  This seems to be a number that my body likes.  Unfortunately, I can feel the extra weight and it's uncomfortable.

BUT --  I feel renewed and motivated.  Not so much to lose weight per se but to make a better life for myself and those around me.  And so this higher number has got to go.

I DID go to the (step) family party yesterday.  It went well, I think.  I did not have much to say, which is ok.  I shouldn't feel pressured to reveal anything when someone says, "So what's new with you?" because truthfully, not much is new with me.  Oh sure, I'm volunteering as a literacy tutor (ESL and math).  And I'm still involved with the Wedding Hostess thing at church.  I know those count as worthy endeavors -- I should NOT discount what I do.  I dunno, I just didn't feel like talking about myself.

I overate.  Not binge though, so I have indeed made progress.  This is one of the advantages of being at a higher number that my body likes.  I can overeat and still maintain.  I think maintaining the lower body weight contributed to binge eating.

However, that does not mean that I have given up.  It just means that this time, when I lose weight, I need to do it moderately, healthy, carefully.

And I'm glad I pushed myself and went to the party.

Progress as of today: 25 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

loveray on 11/27/2009:
good for you for showing up yesterday! it is so easy to isolate, but not so easy to present ourselves when we arent feeling 100%. love to you.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 11/29/2009:
just passing by. nice entry :-) i'm glad you went to the party too. :-)

biscottibody59 on 12/04/2009:
Hope you're having a good week!

greengirl on 12/09/2009:
Hope you are well, Donkey ?

Donkey - Saturday Nov 21, 2009
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.0

Yes, I'm fatter than I thought. 

I've decided that I WILL try my hardest to attend that Thanksgiving party.  I will consider it a personal challenge to do so.  It will be alright because I don't have much to say.  "Not much is new" would qualify as a valid answer here, and that's fine.  The people there just want to have a good time, so me being there won't really change that.  I might as well try and push myself out of my comfort zone, in a positive direction.  I can always leave early.


( Content edited.)

Progress as of today: 25 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 11/22/2009:
congrats on everything working out so well with your church! and of course you can friend me on facebook! and of course you can add me on sparkpeople, i don't go on much but you can friend me there, or, what is your email? i'll send you my name on facebook by email bc i do not want my full name on dietdiaries.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 11/27/2009:
did you go donkey? i hope you had an overall nice thanksgiving. catch up with you later!

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