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Donkey - Wednesday Jul 31, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

The last 2 days at work have just been crazy.  Not crazy busy - although I am busy because we're incredibly short staffed due to various health issues among the staff - but like, insane clients.  I took my walk too late - I should have gone earlier.  I realized this after I started walking, how caught up and stressed out I was by the chaos.  The key is to walk earlier (not at 2:30p) so that I can release the start of tension, and then coast in the afternoon. 

I have not been taking walks in the morning.  Instead, I've been doing the sit-ups and push-ups to get them out of the way.  It's harder, mentally, to do these at the end of the day, when I just want to start relaxing before bed.  

Tomorrow, there is this boat cruise at a nearby lake for realtors.  Our firm has 4 tickets to go, to mingle and meet realtors.  This was before the boss' heart attack.  I thought he and I would go, along with Associate Attorney and, of course, Nice Lady -- where he goes, there she is.  Peas in a pod -- which, frankly, gets annoying at times but whatever.  The boss cannot go, now, because of the heart attack, so now I have to go alone, which I do NOT want to do.  I really dislike doing things as a third wheel with AA and NL; it's like being on someone else's date, and I'm just there.  Plus, I hate these social things. I'm an introvert.  Finally, there will be food and wine - which brings up other issues I have.  Food and stress and social -- not good for Donkey.

So I'm thinking of taking my husband along to use the 4th ticket.  Male Co-Worker will be out of the office (wife had knee replacement surgery) and Mistakes Girl is doing his work and her work.  Boss says someone has to be at the office - we can't close down.  And so if I end up going with my husband, I'm thinking that I will just go home afterwards - on company time.

 Work is hard enough without having to do all this outside social stuff.  BUT if I do go home after the boat thing, then I will have a lot of emails on Friday.  

I just realized that I cannot win in this situation.  Either way, it will not be very pleasant.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 07/31/2019:
The boat ride with your Hubby with you sounds like FUN! It might be something you enjoy! That could be a win-win! For both of you!


BearCountryGG on 07/31/2019:
I say...Take the hubby!!!


legcramps on 07/31/2019:
I would definitely take your husband along to use the fourth ticket. Why not?! It will be more enjoyable for you, and the ticket will get used.

Understandably, time away creates more chaos at work; but even though you may return to more emails, you'll have created a balance between work and play that we all need, regardless of what you return to. There will always be work. Will there always be the opportunity to do these things with your husband?

Donkey on 08/01/2019:
This is a good point!


Horn_of_plenty on 08/01/2019:
I agree! Take your hubby! he'll enjoy it and you'll enjoy it more.

Regarding all the emails that you'll return to, maybe give yourself some leeway to catch up to them in 2 days rather than the next day, like, give yourself till the end of the day monday..

i'm an introvert too, so i also do not always enjoy socializing all the time ! lol i know what you mean.



Donkey - Monday Jul 29, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

 Today is Donkey's birthday.   To treat myself,  I took an extra walk at work and had a Diet Coke. 

During my regular walk,  which I thought about cutting short,  I asked myself,  Why am I in such a hurry to get back to work and worry?  Just enjoy the walk, make it a little longer and enjoy it.  

So I did!  And I'm glad I did!  I don't know why I always feel so rushed to do things during the work day.   That's how mistakes are made. 

Having a slice of chocolate ice cream cake until it's gone.  Now it is half way gone.  That's ok!

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/29/2019:
You sound like you had a wonderful birthday! You make me smile to know you could enjoy a nice walk on your birthday too!

Rushing does cause mistakes. Many times at work i don't need to rush and when i do, def a mistake is made.

Where did you get that cake for your birthday!? did you make it? it's beautifully presented on fb.

take care and i'm really glad that you were able to enjoy your bday to the fullest xo.

Donkey on 07/31/2019:
My cake came from Cold Stone Creamery, but usually they come from Dairy Queen. Thought I'd go for the real ice cream this time - full fat - rather than the ice milk that DQ uses.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/30/2019:
when you get a chance, please let me know the name of the book you are reading, i want to request it at my library :)

Donkey on 07/31/2019:
I should warn you that except for brief spots of insight - especially towards the end - it's a very tedious book. The first half of the book is about him as an architect and the amazing buildings he designed and or built for the Reich. The book is "Inside the Third Reich" by Albert Speer.

The author has his critics, especially when it comes to the Holocaust.

I definitely needed something more positive to read after that. Now I am in the middle of a book about awareness meditation.



Donkey - Sunday Jul 28, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

OK... Today is "feels like 97F" and the AC isn't working.  It works, but it doesn't blow cold air.  Thankfully there is a wonderful breeze and that I have lots of window fans.  I'm also very grateful that after today, the weather will cool down quite nicely for the remainder of the week.  Also, I can take a cool shower any time I want, for relief.  Finally, we have this nice outdoor deck, that I sit outside, except for the next few hours until the sun passes.  It was nice outside this morning.

So on the way home from running errands today, I started to think about my diet.  I lost weight eating low carb.  I have weighed less (i.e UNDER GOAL) eating low carb.  Then I got into this keto diet, with high protein and high fat, very low carb -- which has helped me maintain AT GOAL and gain muslces.  Now that summer is here, I'm eating more fruit, which is a no-no on keto, because of the sugars.  I was hoping that the "really low carb" approach would lean me out -- but it hasn't.  


A few weeks ago, my husband ordered a weight bench for me that has an extension to do leg exercises and an extension to help with curls (for biceps).  Have you ever wanted something, gotten it, and then regretted getting it?

It is a very nice unit - or at least I'm sure it will be once it's put together (yep, still waiting) - but we just do not have the room for it with the rest of the stuff that we have in the basement, and there is no other room I'd want it in.  So I'm thinking of moving the better bike (the one I ride in the evenings, with resistance) to a different location -- and taking a break from this -- so that the bench can be assembled next to my old bike (the one I ride in the mornings).  I'm not sure. 


 Trying to finish the World War 2 book I'm reading so that I can start working on other books I want to read.  It was written by a member of the Third Reich (yes, a Nazi) and I'm kind of like, OK can we end the war already?  I just got past the part where Hitler commits suicide.  It was incredulous to read this:  everyone around him knew he was going to kill himself, talked about it like you would talk to someone about their next vacation.    I suppose if nothing else, I'm coming away from the book feeling that if there is some justice in the afterlife, I hope he's getting his.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

trishpiglet3 on 07/28/2019:
I love the sense of feeling I can 'see' your surroundings by the way you describe them. You'd make a good author!

Interesting re the Hitler book. I have a friend who has one German parent and one Polish parent; his family owns a brass ornament that Hitler gave to his grandad. I didn't want to touch it because Hitler had touched it... even though I know fascism isn't spread in the same way as germs, I just had this almost-overpowering feeling of 'don't touch the thing that Hitler touched'.

Happy leg-exercising when your thing is made xx


Horn_of_plenty on 07/29/2019:
awwww, i'm getting sad you are having second thoughts about the weight bench. i admit - i used ricky for help in putting mine together LOL. once you have it all set up, i'm SURE you'll feel a bit better about it! with all my weight equip - i also have weight shelving unit - it was a process to get it all put together too - and a waiting process bc i didn't want to do it by myself so i had to also plan to put it together - which meant i couldn't start using the units right away! you'll get there! :)

i'd like to read the book you are reading. can you tell me the name and author so i can request it at the library??

i'm almost done with my book too. it's so sad. i've gotten the chills a few times from it. written by a black author who owns a non-profit law firm to represent individiuals placed on death row who were wrongly placed there, mostly down south, and a lot of the time period is the 80's when black people were facing much, much more racism than even now and the reasons they were being put there were far from legal. it's a true book, non fiction, still of course biased base on the author's retelling of the stories, but, i accept it as factual and it is so sad to read some of these stories.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/29/2019:
the reason i'm reading it is to learn from the past, learn about other's struggles, understand how some of them were made right or helped, and also see how much some people work for what they have in life - as inspiration.

i'd like to read your book just to see how he presents his views as an author and i'd like to take a look at his writing style..



Donkey - Saturday Jul 27, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

What a lovely Saturday!  It's supposed to get really hot and humid today.  I have my laundry out on the deck, baking in the sun.  I took a shorter morning walk today, and I think that's enough.  

I have a small project I want to do, but only thought of after today's walk.  I want to time 5-6 shorter walks to do when my time is budgeted.  This will help especially in the late fall and early winter when daylight is shorter.  I would love to continue to incorporate morning walks before work - ideally before my bike time with coffee & news, but my need for coffee seems to get the better of me.

My focus this weekend is to just relax after a very stressful week at work.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/28/2019:
Hello J Donk!

Our heatwave has turned to beautiful weather all weekend. Mid 80's and on the lower side. Such a nice change. :)

I think your morning walk is wonderful and enough you you decide that's so. I went to beach yesterday and nobody was pushing the long walk on the beach, so we didn't do it. I'm glad. My ankle isn't worse than it was before and my body is tired from a beach day, but, I slept in and know i can make it thru another week full week of work without any issues! :)

I am a little bit confused about your project. tell us more. I'm thinking that you talking about when time is limited, you want to do at least a short walk, if no walk? That sounds good, if that's what you mean.

Donkey on 07/28/2019:
Sorry - I did not mean to be vague about my walks.

Sometimes, I want to take a walk, but my time is not unlimited. Weekends are usually unlimited, but after dinner or on workday mornings, if I have only 35 minutes before I have to get ready for work, or 45 minutes before my TV show starts and I want to take a walk, it would be helpful to have a route or routes in my neighborhood that I know how long they take - give or take 5 minutes.

The routes I would be taking would vary in distances from my house. Loops I call them. There would be the neighborhood loop, the cornfield loop, the park long loop, the park short loop, the next-door neighborhood loops (Left Loop and Right Loop).

I would be happy to expound on this more if I am still being unclear :-)


Horn_of_plenty on 07/28/2019:
love the looped walks and timing plan...! great idea. i have done this also obviously - but not as lengthy as your plan. i know how long one 10 min looped walk takes as well as a 30-40 walk loop also. thanks for going into detail, that also breaks the monotony of always doing the same walk.



Donkey - Friday Jul 26, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

The major mistake I made earlier this week will be ok.... I think. Reviewed the file with my boss,  put my cards in the table.  So we'll see.  I did catch myself setting my reminder for this problematic file past another deadline (today), though.  Yikes.... 

Nice Lady was back yesterday, and she kept things pretty much to herself unless someone asked her about her doctor appointments or other issues.  I did not ask,  because I did not want to get sucked back into and feed any more drama.  That is an unfortunate way to be,  but I have to preserve my boundaries. 

Did well with food,  still trying hard with water,  skipped my morning walk because as much as I enjoy it,  I'm doing too much.

I woke up too late this morning to walk,  so I'll just finish up my morning bike ride and move forward with my day. 

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/26/2019:
At least you are starting to be more aware of these mistakes and hopefully figuring out ways to be more preventative going forward! :)

With drama, as is happening in my office right now near me but not with me, the best thing unfortunately is not to talk too much to the drama :) yup.

i'm also needing a lot more water lately!

Sometimes less is more, when you really are listening to your body....

have a wonderful night :)


Horn_of_plenty on 07/26/2019:
the drama by me is that there's a really sensitive person working in the office who happens to also live near me...and it's awkward bc everyone says just normal stuff to her and she keeps coming back at all of us, saying what we are saying is rude or without thought! it's nutz. and now it's important (especialyl for me) to watch what we say and/or not talk as much with her about things not related to work!

Donkey on 07/27/2019:
Yep, a very similar boat. It's sad to cut off connections with other people - and it's not that I don't feel their pain.



Donkey - Thursday Jul 25, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

 I made a couple of comments to previous entries,  but then I realized that your comments triggered some learning points for me that I think deserve a separate entry so that I can refer back to what I've learned. 


Work was so calm yesterday with Nice Lady and The Boss out all day.  I realize that when the work drama increases,  I lose my focus. I lose focus on the job I'm doing,  on my health (mental and physical), family,  everything).


Bear is 100% spot on with her analysis of the "thunder thighs" incident in 7th grade.  While Jim Z.'s comment was devastating,  if I had no connection to him,  he would have ignored me.  Indifference is the opposite of love. 

So it's time to let this go.   Confession:  at times,  I have considered getting surgery to slim out my thighs.   I usually talk myself out of this saying such things are vanity and that self- acceptance is the real answer.  Yet,  this is psychological "weight" I've been carrying around with me... and probably will until I die. 

Part of me rejects any cosmetic surgery on my legs because other than their shape,  they are quite good:  functional,  no veins,  strong,  even skin tone...  Some cellulite but I don't care about that. 

I have been blessed but cannot seem to receive my blessing,  no matter how hard I try. 


Thanks to a comment from Horn about drinking water to combat the urge to stress eat,  I have quickly formulated a plan,  with specific steps,  so that I know exactly what to do in a moment of weakness,  should that happen. 

I got this. 


I appreciate Innerpeace's comments ( and Bear's, too) about work drama.  First,  I know I'm not alone.  Secondly,  I'm willing to bet that my work drama is not nearly as bad as what other work environments offer.  In fact,  I just now rememberedas couple of jobs that were worse.  

So you know what?  I'll take what this job offers - good and bad - and make the best of it.

 

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/25/2019:
Work drama I believe causes everyone to lose focus........sounds like having a coping plan will help....THUMBS UP TO THAT!! That 12 year old boy just liked you.....but as typical of young boys...they show their admiration for girls with teasing.....you are perfect just the way you are, besides...surgery will leave physical scars...and I suspect that old bad memory possibly made you notice or dwell on something you may never have even thought about. People just don't realize how much damage can be caused by a few words......and that boy was just looking for you to notice him.....but he hurt you in the process... he was just a kid that was trying to get attention from a young girl he liked. I'm glad that you see that now...just try to let it go...and laugh about his awkward way of getting your attention....it really wasn't ment to hurt you...it was about getting you to notice him.....

Donkey on 07/26/2019:
That very last sentence: yes. And here we are 36 years later and I still remember him. I should do a Facebook search and see if he's gained any weight.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/26/2019:
Bear had good insight regarding that boy when you were younger.

Your legs sound strong and beautiful. I have a coworker who has very strong and thick legs. (same coworker that forgives people so easily and never lets an argument linger ever). she just naturally has a TON of muscle, from growing up doing lots of yardwork also, but her legs are THICK. but, the thickness is muscle not really fat. so her legs look NICE when she shows them off. Her calves are thick but they match with the rest of her legs, so men like it because it's proportional.

legs. your legs sound good. after all the work you do to train them, you may as well show them off...even with any imperfections.

i have been reaching for my water a LOT lately also at work.

i thought it's matter of fact what you wrote at the end. sounds like a fine plan. you've been around to know that all workplaces have their drama.

Donkey on 07/26/2019:
My daughter says that thick legs are in style now, lol.

I've been trying to build up (a little) my upper half to get things proportional. I can't get my shoulder muscles to *pop* out, for a nice muscle cut. But I'll keep trying.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/26/2019:
thicker legs (muscular legs, athletic legs, being fit) is def in style over tooo skinny.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/26/2019:
weightlifting will def keep your proportions in check. i have changed my own proportions over time as you know.



Donkey - Wednesday Jul 24, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

 So I made another huge mistake at work...  missed a deadline.  The boss had already gone home (early), so I talked to Male Co-Worker, who confirmed my instinct of what to do next. 

Finally told Nice Lady - after a week of her talking about her problem - that telling off a certain someone would only be a waste of her time and energy and would not bring a reconciliation to her problem, as "someone" and problem are 2 separate, unrelated things.  

(Mistakes Girl later told me that she was cheering me in from my desk.)  

I think Nice Lady got my message,  but then she started crying at her desk to Associate Attorney (with whom she's been with for over 10 years).  

You know,  I'm just DONE with all this drama!!!  It's getting in the way of being able to work correctly!!!  I think that's why I'm making more of these mistakes now.  

And the boss is out all day because his wife is having a heart procedure this afternoon,  too.

I'm so frustrated --- all I want to do is eat.  A lot. Of something. 

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 07/24/2019:
Drama at work - reading it I love your names for every one - I do that at work too - it entertains me. Living it - Oh my, I can definitely understand the frustration and being ill at ease. I bet that makes for a very long day. I hope you have or can find time to relax....and not eat all the food.

Donkey on 07/24/2019:
Today was much better, low on the drama


BearCountryGG on 07/24/2019:
I commented on your post from yesterday about the rude boy.....but on with todays post......probably time for a nose to the grindstone time at work....and they can take their drama to their mama.......that type of atmosphere at work causes everyone stress...and may have contributed to the bosses and his wifes tension, hense heart problems........sounds like yoiu work with a big bunch of whiners....who bring their home problems to work with them...somewhere along the way that office must have encouraged that........sounds to me like they all just need therapists to talk to ( and mama).....and they need to just go to work and work......maybe if you just keep working when they want to whine to you will give them the message that you don't have time for their problems.....I had a similar problem at my last office job....a nineteen year old whiner went to our boss with a complaint about me expecting too much from her......they were in an office talking...and called me in....when my boss told me that teenager said I was expecting too much of her...I tolsd them both that we get paid to wor...and we leave our personal problems at the door when we come into this office......my boss agereed...and teenager said i didn't understand her homelife....I repeated what I had said earlier...the boss once again nodded in agreement.....and we all left.....the truth of the matter is that employees get paid to work...not whine.....Ifeel for you having to deal with that .....it's tough to listen too......I just got so that i stopped listening and kept working...they soon found that I was not a good person to whine too.....it's hard...but it can be done.

Donkey on 07/24/2019:
Thank you! I'm still letting your suggestion sink in, because I think you're 100% right.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/24/2019:
I totally agree with BCGG ! and InnerP!

try to let the drama bounce off you. do not let that drama into your personal work space (your desk). these folks you work with DO sound DRAMATIC. with the crying and everything else. plus the fact they've worked together 10 years...

you just do your stuff. you can maybe put reminders in your email or phone for deadlines. you be you. stay strong.

also, if you are getting hungry...try to drink more during the day and i also suggest more volume in your lunch. make sure to bring snacks - 14-16 almonds is 100 cals...an apple with tea...take your breaks...

Donkey on 07/25/2019:
It's not hunger; it's stress eating cravings. Although... you do have a good point because I have been drinking less water lately. I didn't make the connection until you pointed that out. Now I have a plan on what to do that won't cost me calories. Thanks!!!



Donkey - Tuesday Jul 23, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Thought I'd log in this morning, even if it means I'll be late for work, because it doesn't matter if I'm on time or not. 

My boss has decided not to go to a cardiac rehab facility but rather to get his cardiac rehab services at the physical therapy office his daughter owns/runs, which is on the first floor of our building.  I was just gobsmacked by this.  Apparently, his primary care physician said he could do this.  Boss doesn't like his cardiologist because he's a real downer, a gloom and doom doctor.  Um.... 

I realized that I think I am starting to see some abs definition but unfortunately, I have too much flabby skin covering the muscle definition.   Battle scars from the life I've lived.  Same with my inner thighs and fat that surrounds my knees.  Funny how one "thunder thighs" comment from Jim Z. in 7th grade can stick around 37 years later...


I'd better get ready to go to my mediocre job and do a mediocre effort (ha ha) for another mediocre day...  I crack myself up.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/23/2019:
Remembering what the boy said gave me the chills reading it here! omg the chills!

remember, when you are in 7th grade, what people says seems even more hurtful. or at least that's what i feel about it. remember that you are not a child now and your body is not going to look like a teen. maybe you matured early then, and had a more mature body than most 7th graders. but i am SURE your body has changed a great deal since 7th grade and you may remember the comment, but know that you have changed yourself and you work hard EVERYDAY to keep those changes and improve. :-D

LOL to MEDIOCRE. you can still be awesome. perfect though (esp at work) - not necessary!

Donkey on 07/25/2019:
Good point! I weigh now what I weighed in 7th grade!!

I have more to say so I'll just write it in a new entry.


BearCountryGG on 07/23/2019:
You know the ironic thing about that boys comment was probably that he actually liked you.....if you didn't matter to him,,,,he wouldn't even have noticed. I think people often think that the opposite of love is hate....but it isn't...the opposite of love is indifference........I think his way of talking to you was a typical ( unfortunately)...way of awkward teenage boys...and that is to tease the girls they like...to get their attention.....I think you did matter to him...



Donkey - Sunday Jul 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Oh what a beautiful morning, now that the awful heat and humidity is gone.  This is perfect weather.  I could have gone for a walk this morning, but I decided to just enjoy the morning and drink coffee.  I can go for a walk later on, and the weather will still be lovely.  I also do plan to rest a bit, as there are 2 British detective shows on PBS this afternoon, that I'd like to catch.

One of the shows is "Death in Paradise" - because who doesn't like a good, witty mystery, right?  But I watch this because it got me to thinking how to live in paradise with the hot and humid weather.  It helps if you're surrounded by a lovely Carribbean Sea.  (Stuck in the middle of Illinois in summer isn't quite the same thing...)

The other one is Agatha Raisin, about a big-time advertising exec who worked really hard in her youth and did smart financial planning, so that she could retire while she was still young enough to enjoy life living in a small, quaint English village.  (OK, try to overlook that there's a murder in the village every week...)  I wish I could retire, and I suppose I could become a housewife again, but something in my gut tells me that this would not be a good idea.


Today, my fingers are swollen, and my rings are tight.  Last night, we had take-out (I had a gyros pita - didn't eat the pita) to celebrate my daughter's promotion.  However, it didn't really feel like a celebration... kind of disappointing.  And dinner had too much salt, although it was very good, and I still have quite a bit of it left over.  That dinner didn't stop me from eating a whole pint of Halo ice cream.  I knew this was an indulgence, though, and today I am back on track.


This morning, when I woke up, I had to remind myself of what day it was.  While I love volunteering at the legal clinic, it feels like my weekend is shortened.  It was too bad to realize that I have only this one last day before the work week starts up again.  

 

 

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/22/2019:
I enjoyed reading your synopsis of the two shows. they sound good. if i had a choice, i think i'd like the second show best.

we had the heat wave all weekend. i chose to actually stay inside yesterday since i had a bunch of cooking and home activities to do :) was wonderful.

I used to eat the whole pint too of the halo ice cream. this year, i haven't been on that same kick. I think i've overdone it in the past. Then, i started being able to eat a half pint to 3/4 pint and be satisfied. your stomach likes the size of two cups which is the halo size. it's not so bad, actually, to eat the whole thing. i just wouldn't do it all the time lol....but the calories only still equal one serving of ice cream :) which flavor did you have??

it's good you volunteered, and yes, it def shortens the weekend. but you did a great thing :)



Donkey - Saturday Jul 20, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Yesterday was a good day - except that our sales rep from the title company came and brought lots of fruit and this delicious-looking cheese and cherry coffee cake.  So I ate way too much fruit, but oh well.  Can you get fat from eating too much honeydew melon?  I don't think so.

This morning, I had legal clinic.  I haven't volunteered at the clinic since March, so it was very nice to catch up with everyone.  2 of the clients didn't show up, and one of the ladies - I think she was a little lonely - wanted to go out to lunch, if the other lady and I were free --- and we were!  It was so nice!

Unfortunately, I wasn't hungry, because I had breakfast while at clinic, so I had a salad.  And of course, I ate the whole thing.  It was "Asparagus Chicken Cobb Salad".  In additon to asparagus and chicken, there was feta cheese (or maybe it was bleu cheese?) and walnuts.  So good that I didn't even need dressing.


 It was cool and lovely this morning.  What I should have done is gone for a walk, and then do my morning bike routine when I got home from clinic (and lunch).  I'm such a creature of habit though that I did my bike (w/coffee & news) and now I won't get in a walk because one of 2 things will happen:  1)  it will remain blazin' HOT, or 2)  really bad storms will come in. Oh well, that's OK.  Today will be my "rest" day, and tomorrow I can do outdoors stuff when the weather cools off.  (I don't do a very good job of "resting"...)


So I discussed my job drama at lunch with my friends, and had a couple of epiphanies.  I know what I have to do, I just have to DO IT.  And what I have to do doesn't involve leaving this job - at least for now - but rather, getting myself into a "good place" mentally, emotionally, spiritually so that if the time comes, when the time comes, I will be ready to move on to my next step.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/20/2019:
GOOD FOR YOU on eating more fruit :) glad that the fruit was an option!

your salad sounds very nice and healthy :) good choice. i'm glad you were able to spend time with good people and friends.

i also have some trouble with getting things done on a rest day...but i'm getting better ;) some days in the past, rest means seriously just EAT and EAT and rest. ...i know you are a bit different than me in terms of rest days though! lol not sure of the point of this paragraph of mine...

i understand what you wrote in terms of your job. i have another suggestion too. try to continue to go with the flow and do NOT overwork yourself at work. if you have to get a new job, i wish for you not to leave this one overworked...that's just my two cents. :)

Donkey on 07/21/2019:
Oh yes, if this past week showed me anything, it's that I definitely need to set boundaries for myself and not work so hard to make something work that is - and has been - intrinsically broken for quite some time.

My problem is that I can't always see this -- that I need to step back or step away or go home -- until it's too late. I get so caught up in all of IT that I lose sight of what I need to do for myself.

I would ask that you keep reminding me of this - in your comments - when you see me writing about this.

It's a shame that this is a weight-site and I keep talking about work.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/21/2019:
it's a weight site, but a "life site" and a place to get advice on everything in life, in my opinion. you know i also (and all of us!) come here to get input on so many things in life. weight and food and diet, they can relate to other parts of our life as you and i have both experienced and know well.

I'm glad to assist you and offer my own advice, whether it's good or not or you take it or not ;)...because that's what this site is about (at least for me!)

try your best to change your pattern a little bit of getting very wrapped up...maybe try taking some slow deep breaths? just know that you can just do your best, but the whole company and success of it will not be DIRECTLY ONLY tied toc your success or lack of - but to everyone's role in the company...and most importantly your boss' decisions. you do your part, but, the success of the company is NOT ONLY tied to what you do. and this is a GOOD THING. I'm glad you understand what i was trying to portray about getting caught up.

it's good you can come here for advice or input on things that are important to you now aside from diet.

the ricky thing doesn't upset me that much as i'm used to his outbursts and i'm not shocked by them. i keep my limits.



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