Plans have changed unexpectedly at work. Mistakes Girl is gone. Her pregnancy has turned suddenly very high-risk, and she is home for 8 days on bedrest and then she will be at the hospital until the baby is born, which, after the 8 days at home, could be days, weeks, a couple of months. It's very ironic: we want her back, but then that would mean that she lost the baby. If she has the baby, then she won't be back.
So as you can imagine, I was very miserable at work. I didn't really have time to process all of the emotions. The phones were quite busy. Nice Lady was not very helpful. It was all I could do to keep up with my workload, much less anything that Mistakes Girl might have had to do. Male Co-Worker and New Guy, I think were handling her emails - I hope so because it wasn't me! New Guy was working his own files (instead of Mistakes Girl helping him keep track). When I heard that Queen Bee was coming back to the office, though, I just wanted to start crying.
Obviously, I'm quite upset at all of that, but I may be almost upset with my Boss. He took my monthly statistics worksheets and lost them over the weekend. He also lost the login and password for the job ad website that he set up -- Mistakes Girl already had to reset the password once last week. The password and login were written in BIG letters on a BIG sheet of paper on Thursday. He lost them. I don't know how I will recover my stats. It would take me 2-3 hours to try to reconstruct the data for April. Male Co-Worker helped him with the online ad, but then the Boss still couldn't get the password to work.
So my work-life balance is about to take a HUGE hit. I'm taking a break from yoga for 1 week, to see if things will even themselves out at work. Then, I am switching to Yin yoga, which is more stretching rather than movement, to focus on relaxing and destressing. GOOD.
My May focus will become a challenge. I must remember not to eat when what I really am is fatigued. I must remember not to eat when what I really am is stressed. I can do this. I got this - as long as I can stay focused on my goal. GOOD.
I'm anticipating longer work hours. I could have stayed until 6pm if I didn't have yoga tonight. This is one reason why I don't want to stay away from yoga for too long. Maybe I need to be a little more firm about how late I stay. This may greatly depend on how the workload shifts AND how quickly we can find a viable replacement.
Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Very short on time - I shouldn't even been logging in, LOL. Have to drive my husband to drop off the minivan at the detailers before work. We're looking to trade her in for something newer with more safety features, since Husband can't turn his neck to check for blindspots any more. Plus, the minivan is going to need some major repairs soon. As much as I hate it, now is the time to let her go...
Had a GREAT weights workout at the gym. After 15 mintues (plus 5 minute cooldown) on the elliptical, I did 8 weight machines, 4 upper body and 4 lower body. I didn't register as many steps on my Fitbit as I thought I might, but the steps that I had were really productive. That's why step-counts can be quite deceptive; they don't tell the whole story of how hard you've worked.
Slipped up a little bit with my evening treat. My muscles felt really depleated, so even though it was after dinner, I had half a protein shake. This may have been triggered by having mostly carbs for dinner, but I had some leftovers I wanted to finish up and clear out of ther refrigerator. THEN I had my 2 sheets of Graham crackers (130 calories). I'm struggling with why I can't seem to limit myself to only 1 sheet (4 rectangles), especially last night since I had the protein shake sips too.
Must log off now... Just remembered that I have a broken copy machine to look forward to today at work...
Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
I kinda knew when I was eating dinner last night (Sunday) that my meal was too carby and not enough protein and fat to keep me satisfied. The protein shake was a good fall-back. Could have gone a totally different direction --- being nighttime calories and all.
Great job at the gym, as you may have noticed, someone asked me to tell them my exercises, so i listed all the weight training exercises i do, including my situps. i think it came out to 5 upper body and 4 lower body. that's it!
i'm onto a similar thing to graham crackers, animal crackers are what i'm into now. there was a tub on sale at the supermarket :)
I didn't even think about the soccer mom thing, but you're right! Husband and I were talking, and he's like, We don't even take road trips any more. We don't because I have driving issues and also my back hurts when riding for more than 3 hours.
Another warm beautiful day -- even better than yesterday, because yesterday was a little too windy.
I did well with eating yesterday. I got hungry around 4pm, but refrained from eating (much - had a couple of strawberries) because we were having dinner at 5:15p, when Daughter comes home from work, for her dinner break. I was very tempted to have a small glass of wine to relax and enjoy, but didn't because I was plannig to drive to the gym later. I didn't have second helpings, but did reach for a couple more Brussels spouts. Second helpings on vegetables and fresh fruits are always OK.
However, I did *not* go to the gym last night. I realized that I am out of the habit of going to the gym --- wow, that didn't take much to fall out of that habit! - so I need to re-establish this habit. Like Happy said, Sometimes the answer is do more not less.
I ended up having my evening treat at around 8:30pm when I started feeling hungry again. 130 calories in Graham crackers. Perhaps I should have tried to skip it and just go to bed. I did not have this as dessert, earlier, because I was still feeling full from dinner. I'll have to think about this. 8:30pm might be too late to eat, unless, of course, I had gone to the gym in the evening. UGH!!!
Still I have no regrets about skipping the gym. I felt it was important to focus on relaxing, especially since I was stressed and anxious earlier in the day. My dear Husband called and got an estimate for a fence. I think he has a couple of more fence people coming out for comparison estimates. I'm just so sad that it's come to this... but like I said yesterday, climbing the trees is where I draw the line. I mentioned to Husband that this year, it seems as though the trespassing has become worse. Just total disregard for respect of one's private property -- mostly kids, but some adults too! Goodness gracious!
My plan is to go to the gym today. I can either do an upper body weight training session or try to make it a full body workout, depending on time. With the weather so nice, I'm hoping the gym will be emptier than usual.
Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
It's a delicate balance between the need to rest and inertia. It's not laziness that I struggle with but inertia. Reading your words though helped frame this in a different way. It went from a "I should go" thing, but became "I want to go" thing.
Responding to your Saturday entry: I guess you can put up a fence / gate so people do not come thru (but that is money) another thing is the planting of bushes, another "road block" of sorts...
I like that you are reducing your cardio when you do weights...like a give and take so you do not feel so torn to fit things in. i support that thinking.
LOL, we have Konica machines at work too. they seem to mostly work very well :)
Is it a good morning? I'm not sure. My husband and I are having a difference of opinion over a problem we're having with people cutting through our yard to access the neighborhood part. This started last night, and we haven't had any productive conversations about a resolution. I think I'd rather just be quiet about it - and everything - for a while today, perhaps this weekend.
I do not want this to overshadow my time off, which is very precious to me - at least right now. My days off are very important to de-stress and re-set myself mentally. I don't need friction with my husband to interfere with that.
Anyway, happy May! Happy new month! I was surprised, actually, to see a little weight loss this morning. This will be my last weigh-in for May -- I haven't decided if I will weigh in on May 29th (the last Saturday of the month) or if I will just wait until June 5th. The idea, the goal, is to focus on healthy habits -- I know what I need to do -- and see what kind of results I get at the end of the month.
I think those will work for me. Well, it's just for May. In June, I can change things up again.
Something was up with Nice Lady at work yesterday. She was SO chatty. She would go from the Boss, to me, to Mistake's Girl , to Male Co-Worker, all day long to chat. I mean, she would go back to her desk in between chat sessions, but oh my goodness. I could tell in the later afternoon that this was REALLY getting on Male Co-Worker's nerves. He gave a look that said, "WTH?!" but I kind of just ignored that --- that is to say, I didn't feed into that.
Then she broke the main copy machine where several people in our office print from. I don't even know why she was using THAT machine, because she has her own delux copier/scanner/printer. I think she expected someone else to call the repairman, but we made her do it. Monday, someone from Konica Minolta will call us to let us know when the tech guy can come out to fix it.
Taking a cue from my observations earlier this week, I tried hard to not let her neediness get to me. Breaking the copier/printer/scanner kind of was my breaking point, but it was at the end of the day, so I just went home.
Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Thank goodness it's Friday! This has seemed like the longest week ever. Oh my, just never-ending. Even getting up this morning was so hard, because I need a weekend. Some of this difficulty might be due to allergies or something that is causing some minor stuffiness in my head. Pressure is probably the better word for what I'm feeling.
I started a lower-body weights workout last night, and got a headache -- felt like a caffeine headache, so I'm thinking allergies/sinuses -- and didn't get done as much as I had wanted to, but I did push through to complete what I was doing. So I kind of woke up with that same headachy feeling.
I've been mulling over the questions and observations I brought up yesterday. Get this - so Male Co-Worker has been experiencing a lot of the same stress that I've been feeling (at least it seems that way to me), which has been affecting his gut. His doctor suggested a therapist, and yesterday was his 2nd session. I asked Male Co-Worker if his therapist had any magic solutions to dealing with the stress at work. (Was I trying to get a freebie without having to undergo my own therapy?) He hadn't, but he said he'd mention it.
He came back and said that he talked about work stress with his therapist, and when I heard him describe what we're dealing with to his therapist, it sounded so comical. Like, Why are we even getting upset about this stuff? LOL...
I plan to explore my questions/observations during my "Month of May" journey.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
In fact, I thought of this wise advice yesterday, when I was going over a file with the Boss. I realized that when this deal closes, it will be done and fade away from my memory. I may remember what I've learned, as examples for future files, but all of the energy and emotion poured into this file will be gone.
It was this same file that caused me to have the epiphany on Thursday about "why am I letting other people's problems get to me?"
I figured out a thing or 2 yesterday and asked myself a couple of important questions:
I asked myself,
I did not do well with evening eating last night. I rewarded myself (UGH) with a big bowl of vanilla ice cream, only to cause major tension between 2 of my cats who also wanted to share my bowl of ice cream... More stress.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
I can commiserate with your stress and I think it is because you WANT to help, you WANT to solve the problems, you WANT things to run smoothly. Feeling stress over that for your personality type might be something that you have simply "normalized" over the years, and continuing to search for ways to negate this, day by day, maybe hour by hour, might be your only recourse. I wish you luck with that, and if you figure it out, let me know so I can try out your ideas!! There are a lot of daily resilience exercises you might be able to incorporate to help with this.
I do also believe that negativity breeds negativity.
I was asking the wrong questions. It's not the "why" that's important but rather "how will I react" - because you're right, negativity breeds negativity.
sometimes it's the carbs in the food that calm the stress thru additional seratonin. there is a self-medication thing at work and it's scientific.
that's why i do have have more carbs and why i am not into the keto anymore....it didn't work for me due to a need, i think, for seratonin. just my own thoughts on it...
so my point is that you will get hungry but there needs to be some satisfaction from eating something to help you but within reason.
i find that small amounts of what you really want will help. i supplement my snacks with liquids at work...or i'd remain entirely too frustrated / hungry / unsatisfied.
at work, liquids - even water...does help. i will have a carb of fruit or something less healthy and when i add liquids to it - i help myself immensely.
I've started having carbonated water with my lunch, sometimes my afternoon snack, to help fill me up.
Also, having a BIG cup of chamomile tea in the mornings (at work, only) to help keep me calm and warm me up. This has helped a lot. I'm not much of a tea drinker, actually.
i have been having salty dinners, and sometimes on my way home - like yesterday - the fruit stand guy selling fruit/veg at somewhat of a discount compared to the city supermarket prices has decent raspberries for $3 for that size container. easy to wash and eat....easy dessert after dinner...no prep needed (most important thing for Jackie here!)
the reason (IMO) why you get stressed from other people's problems is you have that quality where you are affected, empath. but always remember those problems are theirs....and take care of yourself, your hubby, your family. that's your only real thing to care over.
However, I think I'm going to try a delay tactic first, to see if that helps.
Woke up before my alarm, so this morning I have time. I'm enjoying the quietness of the morning with a freshly brewed cup of coffee.
I had forgotten to send out positive, calm vibes last night, with eating, until around 7:30p or 8p. Then I remembered, so I started focusing on trying to feel calm. That is about the time that I finished my upper body weight training. I had a couple of sips of a protein shake and then 2 sugar-free licorice sticks and called it a night. That would have been fine, except that I'm not sure I even needed to be eating that stuff. Dinner had a lot of protein.
What I really wanted was something like a Graham cracker square to top off my palate, but we don't have any. Besides, that's carbs, and so not ideal after weights.
Ohhh, getting this eating thing in a "good place" is hard. I think May's challenge is going to be harder than I thought. This "need" for a sweet after meals is tough to break.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
Whipped cream cheese topped by sugar free jam on a rice cake hits the sweet spot nicely. Sure there are variations like sugar free syrups one could try instead of the jam.
Ran out of time this morning. Part of it was because I did some upper body weights after my bike ride - I thought I had more time to do what I wanted to do, than I actually did. Also, my husband is in a very chatty mood today and keeps interrupting me while I'm trying to write comments.
So I'll make this very short, to say that I really struggled with eating last night. I had 2nd helpings of chicken salad -- OK, I'll let this slide -- but then I fought REALLY HARD against having 3rd helpings! What's up with that???
I kept cutting slivers of the gluten-free cinnamon coffee cake I made for husband, too... I finally cut it off at having 150 calories worth of the sugar-free licorice sticks. Those are not very good, but they do help with sweet cravings. They are not low-calorie either. I'll finish them but I won't buy more.
So tonight is upper-body weight training, but I will also be focusing on remaining calm and focused with food, from dinner to bed.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
i have to find those sf licorice sticks...they do not cause bloat?
What an odd weekend it was. I didn't do much Saturday, and I did probably even less on Sunday. On Sunday, I spent 3 hours on the couch, napping with various cats in my house. Very unusual for me. No gym, no weights, no yardwork, no walk. I'm not entirely sure it was laziness. Part of me felt like I just needed to try to recharge as much as possible for whatever lies ahead this week. That and TOM is especially difficult this month. I need to make a doctor's appointment for annual bloodwork. Not urgent, but not to be put off for much longer either.
Tonight is yoga. There are 3 opportunities coming up to do outdoor yoga -- 2 of them require a $10 donation to the conservation district, which I'm fine with, 1 is free at the library. I'm not sure though.... This would require stepping out of my comfort zone. Not sure it's worth it to do so.
No museum this coming up weekend -- I'm not interested in the Children's Musuem -- so I could be available for yoga. I just don't know if I want to put the effort into being with other people, new experiences, etc., right now. As I am an introvert, pushing myself to be with new people and new places, new experiences --- that all takes effort.
I suppose it will depend on how stressful work is, except that if I'm going to register (and pay), I need to do so soon.
So... let's talk about cake. As you may recall, from Saturday, I had come to the conclusion that I'm done with Daughter's birthday cake, that is now sitting in the freezer. Well, last night, I guess I wasn't fully convinced of my conviction, so I had another slice. And it was still not good - of course, this didn't stop me from finishing it. But now, NOW I'm pretty sure that I'm done. And there isn't much left, anyway (ha ha).
Eating, eating, eating.... The struggle is real.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
Choosing the best yoga class sounds challenging! Know you’ll make a good one, and if not, run. That’s what I do. Few things are cast in stone.
You have a really good point. If I don't choose a yoga class, so what? I can still do something else really rewarding with my time.
for example, the notary license i got - i use every week at work, that was a great endeavor on my part. i need to find things that will help me to succeed by having them, not necessarily a masters, but individual courses that will help me more.
lol, the more alternatives to cake you have, the less appealing it MIGHT be. i could be so wrong.
Good morning! Wow, yesterday went by so fast, and wasn't nearly as busy or productive of a day as most of my Saturdays are. Hopefully today will feel a little longer, before I have to jump back into Monday... and another long work week.
As I was headed up the stairs last night, to get ready for bed, I realized that I didn't get much done. So today I will fold and put away my laundry. I did not go to the gym yesterday, as I didn't feel quite right. I did not ride my bike in the evening, after dinner, but rather watched TV.
I did not eat quite well yesterday either. I realized that my May goal of "eating less" -- first of all, will be more difficult than I thought, and second of all, needs to be re-worked. I don't mean eat less per se, but to eat more mindfully and make better food choices.
I'm not sure how I came to the conclusion that I would have a piece of the frozen birthday cake (from Daughter's birthday), but I did. It was not very good at all. The cake part of it has dried out and is flavorless. The frosting was just too much. I think I'm done with that cake. So that's a little good to come of it.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
I was not productive yesterday - needed to relax. Luckily, I was motivated and got everything done today !! I guess not having homework to do frees up the day !
That’s good the cake seems not worthy of being eaten. Good. I like that with food - when I decide that certain junk food isn’t appealing to me at the time dor one reason or another
Hugs! Missed u!
Yeah that cake has got to go. And after I write this morning, you'll understand why this is even more true.
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What do your sleep stats on fitbit look like for the last 2 weeks? Can you send me a screenshot that shows your total, deep, and rem, with the offset of your sleep wake times?
I've been getting B+ on my sleep scores, usually in the high 80's. About 1x a week, I get an A, into the low 90's.
I will try to share a screen shot of my Fitbit sleep stats soon. I'm not the swiftest when it comes to technology.
bearcountrygg on 05/04/2021:
Part of me wonders if the company will still be in business in a year.......I hope for your sake it is and it gets it's act together......but it is sounding like it needs a good leader and isn't getting one.
YES! EXCELLENT POINT - and this is what I'm feeling too. I don't know if it's dementia or just getting old, but me getting angry with the Boss yesterday -- completely internal, did not express any negativity outwardly -- is completely ridiculous.
horn_of_plenty on 05/04/2021:
Is there any server with a recovery ? Do you pay any IT to manage work IT files ? I’m guessing no because you have a tiny office way smaller than mine.
Can you call the company of that product you did to make your files ? Maybe they can help you recover them? How can they just be gone....maybe they can give you a temp password - there is usually an ability to do these things ....fingers crossed for you.
I see you think you can hold down the fort - but the fort needs a replacement for mistakes girl. I hope your boss can figure it out and hire someone better than her - and soon...
Remember to rest and get your sleep and try to take care of of yourself. I’m rooting for you.
The stats sheets are hand-written. I could try to retrieve most of the information on the sheets through our database, but it would take time that I don't have, to do that.
horn_of_plenty on 05/04/2021:
The owner of my company loses things - he no longer gets originals, only copies
I'm going to have to start doing that, even if it means making copies every day, because I can't trust the Boss not to lose or forget.
legcramps on 05/04/2021:
OMG! I am so sorry you are going through all of that at work. That would make me miserable, too, and I can definitely understand the frustration you are feeling. I don’t have an answer, but keep your chin up girl. You are worth gold to that company, and maybe it’s a good time to remind them of that.
Thank you! I almost went there Werth the Boss yesterday, but just couldn't get the words together. I did tell him how overwhelmed I was feeling, just so he knows.