Day 14: Intention: May I see the positive in every situation. Mantra: Let go and let God.
I decided to sign up for Library Yin Yoga tonight rather than the Waste Free seminar. I attended a recycling seminar earlier this year, and I think most of the information will be duplicated.
A few steps for my Yoga Journey:
I came across a blog or a YouTube video from a woman who is a part-time yoga instructor. She said that when she started HER yoga journey, she was so shy about it that she only did videos in her home - for years - before she sought out a public class. She wrote (or spoke) that she wished that she had had the courage to reach out for real-life instruction sooner. The videos were fine and all, but that her practice came into a whole new level once she had that human connection.
I found this insight to be helpful in formulating my own Yoga Journey. It's hard for me to step out of my comfort zone - introvert that I am - and join other people. However, I can see that to get to the level I want to reach, I will have to do some homework on my own, at home, as well. I want a nice balance of real life and at home.
I may seem indulgent in seeking out guidance from TWO yoga studios - plus the free opportunities that I keep finding - but I want to learn from a diverse group of teachers, with different approaches and perspectives. I don't know if that is the BEST method to becoming adept at yoga, but for now, at least, this is the path I'm laying out for my journey.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 13, Supplemental
This is not part of my Yoga Journey, but I wanted to mention that I did dye my hair last night. This was nothing related to age, grey hair, or feeling old. This was about wanting a change. Something about the change in seasons and change in the colors outside, just wanted made me want to warn things up with the image I see when I look in the mirror.
My hair is medium to dark brown (and grey), so I went with a dark blond, to light everything up, but I ended up with a lovely, warm reddish brown color, which is just what I wanted. I used a better quality product, which was much kinder on my hair and scalp.
I'm quite pleased!
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 14: Life is a journey to explore, not a war to be fought. Mantra: Let it be.
A few weeks ago, I found an American flag in the wetland area that I pass on one of my walks. I took it home and washed it. Then I realized which house this belonged to. This morning, I *finally* got around to returning the flag to its proper home. And I got a morning walk in (to return the flag) early on, which was great. I jogged a little bit during my walk too. It was a beautiful morning, and it felt good to put the flag back in its proper place.
I have formulated some "next steps" in my yoga journey, which I will write more here about in a bit. Lunch beckons...
AFTERNOON EDIT: I will write about the next steps in my Yoga Journey in a separate entry. I want to keep it separate from my daily journaling.
This weekend has been incredibly productive. I'm doing the winterization for my yard in steps, and I got the first step done (FINALLY) yesterday, which was weeding and cutting down a smaller strip of landscaping in my front. So that section looks nice. There is another section in front that also needs weeding and cutting down, but I will do that later this month, as there are still insects and animals benefiting from the milkweed plants and dandilion leaves.
Next weekend, hopefully, will be laying down some soil in my back, prepping for next year's flower bed for my butterfly, birds, & bees garden.
My eating this weekend hasn't been the best. Some of this is due to the change in weather, I know. I decided to go back to the heavy whipping cream in my coffee. I looked at alternatives and just couldn't make up my mind. HWC is most effective in keeping hunger away, so at least for the next container, it will be what I use.
Still trying to decide if I should sign up for Library Yin Yoga or the Zero Waste Mindset seminar tomorrow night. I'm running out of time to make a decision.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
if the heavy whipping cream works best and you like it best, i see no reason to change it :)
you have so many great options to do after work tomorrow. sounds good, good for you mind!
Oh, the woman i sent you the photos of - she used to not exercise and gained a lot of weight with her pregnancies. so some of her body shape may be due to being heavier previously in her life too...
Day 13: Life is a sacred journey. Mantra: Slow & steady
I replied to comments. I invite you to have a look, if you like.
Lately, I've been thinking about letting some carbs back into my life. Mainly, a morning bowl of oatmeal for breakfasts and sweet potatoes for other meals. Maybe high-fiber wraps, too.
I made a switch from heavy whipping cream in my morning coffee to half-and-half. This is because we had some H & H that had to get used up. I can tell a difference. With the heavy whipping cream, my coffee kept me satiated. Not exactly "filled me up" but satisfied me. With the half & half, the coffee isn't holding my hunger back as well. Interesting. I'm almost done with the half-and-half. I'm not sure what my next step will be.
I thought that it would rain all day today, but the storms aren't coming in until this afternoon. I just realized that it's sunny outside now, so I'm going to end this early and go do the yardwork (weeding, namely) that I've been wanting to do the past 2 weekends, but couldn't because of the rain.
I would like to use this weekend to think about the next step in my yoga journey.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I don't drink milk, but I love dairy products WAY too much, I'm afraid.
Lol, slow and steady does win the race ;)
I like how you mention you are going to be planning phases in your journey. - yoga journey. i haven't done a lot of planning lately - just living by other's coattails / living on the edge right now. i realize i need a plan - at least i have the court assistant as backup.
anyways, failing to plan is planning to fail - so i'm happy to read about your plan....i'm going to send you a few photos of her she posts on fb or instagram...ones already out there i'll send you privately.
Day 12: Devotion: Life is meant to be celebrated. Mantra: Step away.
Just didn't have the time to log in yesterday. I did have an intention and a mantra, because I have found it very helpful in reducing my daily stress to devote my day to a goal, and then a phrase that I can repeat to myself often throughout the day, to keep myself in check. I believe I carried Day 10's intention & devotion into yesterday (Day 11) - I'm sorry, I just don't remember.
Last night, rather than log in here, I chose to spend some time with daughter, just hanging out. I notice that these opportunities are becoming more and more rare. Sometimes, when she does things with me, like Cat Yoga, I get the impression that she's there to humor me, rather than for her own enjoyment.
One thing that she's been interested in lately is going to the local roller-rink to skate. She doesn't go alone, and lately, her friends have not been available to skate with her. I love to skate, although I'm not very good at it, so I've been thinking about buying a used pair of rollerblades or skates (old-school) so that I can go with her if she wants.
Also - too late for this year's baseball season but maybe for next - the rink has a large screen TV where they have the Chicago Cubs games. My husband LOVES the Cubs, but they are not on TV very much because we don't have cable. In 2020, they are going to be exclusively on cable. So I was thinking, if he wants to watch a game on the weekends or at night, we could go together - with or without the daughter - and he can watch TV and I could get in some good exercise.
Well, just a thought for possible future family things to do. And trying to stretch my horizons a little bit.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Sadly, that is my/our reality, that if I want to do active things with husband, he will have to sit on the sidelines or find an alternative, for most of them.
i think you legs have a lot of muscle that you aren't accounting for.
do they have skates to rent first at the rink? in case you don't end up going often? or perhaps , just perhaps, you can find used ones online??
I do have very muscular legs. They aren't well-defined, or "ripped", so to speak.
And some of this too, is loose skin from my heavier days. There is a price to pay.
i still like new, but, i have found that SHOES are costly and i luckily (realizing now) will not need any shoes this year at all...even sneakers i realize i'm sorta GOOD on them too. i got a pair of flat boots and a pair of a suede very low heeled boot at a thrift shop for unbelievably low prices - now let's see if i actually wear them! they are both comfortable and seem well-made.
I LOVE shopping second-hand.
Day 10: Today I devote to relaxing, so that I may enjoy the fruits of the day, and release the burdens of stress. Mantra: Peace & serenity are mine to behold.
I sort of ran out of time to post this morning, but I did want to share my experience with Self-Love Yoga.
I got to the studio early and waited in the parking lot because I know that there is a 6p-7p class. So I was waiting for those people to leave. Nobody came out. So at 7:05p, I went in. Turns out,I was the only one who showed up! This does not bode well for the success of the studio, I'm afraid.
However, I felt very comfortable there, even though it was just myself and Becky, the instructor. I like Becky - she's very good. And she gave me a short tour and asked me about my yoga journey, before we started. We waited a little bit, but nobody else came.
The session was half meditation/affirmation and half yoga-stretching -- exactly what I wanted.
The stretches were just challenging enough. Part of the challenge of any yoga stretch is maintaining one's balance. That is where I struggle (no surprise there). However, the questions that the teacher posed to us, for us to examine within ourselves, were very challenging! I had not realized that I probably don't do enough to nurture myself. Also, I feel that made a breakthrough on a very sensitive, emotional issue that I've been struggling with for YEARS. It really was like having a light bulb turned on.
I'm looking forward to the next class (Tuesdays in October). I think I will by a 10-pass, too. I still have to sign up for the Mindful Eating workshop - and maybe one or two more events.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
a private lesson!?!?!?! soooooo awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is so cool!
i once signed up for swimming classes at a very busy pool in Queens somewhat by me...and it was just 2 of us students for most of the time ;) so yeah, that's always fantastic, the extra attention you get.
on a side note, i have a coworker with "thick legs." she does exercises and has a nice waist but she would be considered "thick" and her feet are even "thick" and most shoes she wears have to be WIDE in the sizing - sandals epecially and it is a frustrating thing for her.
believe it or not though, when you see her, you'd say she is quite beautiful and men tend to think so too. she's pretty healthy and looks way younger than her age (she's 45 and looks easily 35). her hair is beautiful too.
but she does have a lower very thick lower body - but she dresses to accentuate herself to look her best.
when she does show her legs off though - although they may be thick, she exercises, so her legs look good.
her calves are wide, feet wide, it's definitely genetic - but she looks proportioned and good. her legs look strong, not fat, because like i keep saying, muscle looks good no matter what - at least that's what i think. and she is proportional because she works out. she doesn't have the strongest upper body, but since she exercises in general and she's more active especailly in cardio than a couch potato for sure (FOR SURE, she's more active than me and probably her cardio is similar or more than yours), her body looks good no matter what for these reasons. she has said she doesn't love her thighs, but, she works them and looks better than most beacuse of it.
I wish I could see your co-worker in person. I think she would be a good (silent) role-model for me. I also think a make-over would be immensely helpful.
And 100% this: "Muscle looks good no matter what" YES. THIS. Exactly why I feel the need to build up my upper body - yet, thinking this, saying this, and actually DOING something about it are light-years apart.
I gotta work on that.
Day 10: Life is a sared adventure. Mantra: I am not afraid to try new things.
Trying to keep my expectations to a reasonable level for Self-Love Yoga tonight. I do want this to be THE yoga studio for me.... but thinking about last night's Library Yin Yoga, perhaps I'm approaching this all wrong. It's an adventure, with many teachers along the way. My practice isn't going to be limited to one teacher or one school or one studio... at least not right now. So if this studio, if this teacher ("Becky") helps - great! And if not, I will at least try to learn something from the experience. And if it's all around bad, then at least I will know what I DON"T want to do.
I might even go back to the disasterous yoga studio, where I had that free session back in September August (see entry from August 18th), at some point. The price is about the same. It would be good to mix things up.
The New Yoga Studio (where I'm going tonight) is offering a seminar on Mindful Eating this month. It is on a Sunday afternoon for $5. It is being presented by a therapist. I'm thinking about attending this, as part of my 100-Day Journey. It seems as though it would complement the path I'm on already.
I hope to have time and energy to post after tonight's yoga session. (!!!)
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I love that you can go to seminars at such a low cost of entry - most certainly, that same seminar here would #1 be rare to find and #2 be upwards of $25 for entry!
the $5 session sounds good. i hope you learn something! sometimes, these sessions can be a little dull for people like you and me who are already on good paths...but, i am totally not dissing it. just my opinion again!
i think it's great you are trying a few things right now in terms of yoga studios and teachers.
and i'm telling you, i don't think the leg thing is worth getting done because it's somewhat of a "style" these days to have strong legs.
and take at least this from me - it's a good thing your legs do not bother you and that you can use them mostly how you wish at this time. any recovery time from what you want to do - may not allow you to exercise right away, but i can't say for sure since i do not know the procedure.
i can see why you want to do it. maybe the procedure is easier, where they are sucking the fat out easily out of certain areas. i can also see why you'd want it, but to me you look like an ordinary person and i think you are being really, really hard on yourself.
I know you are right about the leg thing. Talk about re-enforcement. What you said is something I need to hear repeatedly. I promise that if I ever do decide to take another step towards that procedure, that I will talk to you about it first.
Day 9: Today I will try new things. Mantra: I am not afraid to try new things.
Quick entry because tonight is free Library Yin Yoga. For some reason, I feel like this is the launching point of my yoga practice.
Also, I made the commitment and signed up for the "Self Love Yoga" for the month of October. So every Tuesday I will be at the New Yoga Studio, in the evenings.
EVENING EDIT: Just came back from (free) Library Yin Yoga - I LOVED IT!!!!
Donkey's Yoga Adventure: Chapter 3: Donkey Has Arrived
It helped when I got to the parking lot, that there were 2 other ladies carrying yoga mats, and they knew where they were going, so I just followed them. I had no anxiety about going or attending.
There was a bit of an awkward moment when I started setting up my mat, where this other lady was going to set up - because she wanted to be next to her friend. Of course! So I just excused myself and set up in front of them.
As the instructor was setting up, I said to myself: We are all here for the same reason. (Thanks, Horn!)
The stretches were so relaxing and releasing. Some I found to be challenging, but I adjusted my position (many times, sometimes even in very small ways) and found where I was supposed to be.
Also, the instructor's backstory is very interesting! She is one of the librarians, actually! She told us that she had weight-loss surgery and has lost over 100 pounds. She because a certified yoga instructor, because there wasn't a lot of things she could do after her surgery because of her size. Cool!
The most helpful thing that the instructor said was that this was not a comparison activity. She didn't want us looking at each other. This was an individual exercise, that you are where you are, and you do what you can do. She said more things along that line -- and I was like, YES, this is where I belong!
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
ALL of the yoga classes I've been to stress that you should do yoga at your own pace. There are many, many ways to modify each movement to accommodate where you're at.
I can see why they call it a "practice" of yoga, because you learn how to adjust yourself to achieve the pose for yourself.
I hope you give it a try!
Day 8: No intention or mantra. Just trying to relax and make some decisions.
In retrospect, I wish I had counted down in my 100 Days' Journey. I know that I can change it, because it's my count-down, but... meh... IDK, might be too confusing looking back as to why there were 2 "Day 1" entries... *sigh*
As I was going to bed yesterday, I was feeling not-so-good about the day. I don't know if it was sad, bad, ashamed, guilty, disappointed, frustrated -- whatever it was, it was negative. That is not a good way to end a day, and especially a Saturday!
Today is not quite off to a good start either, as it is cold, gray, and rainy again. Monday and Tuesday - when I'm stuck inside a windowless office - are forecasted to be warm (80s) and sunny. These days will probably be the last of summer, too. Oh well, on the bright side, at least I did not sign up for today's Yoga Hike with any expectations. I'm still thinking about signing up for the re-scheduled hike on October 13th. It might hinge on whether or not my daughter can go with me.
I have free Library Yin Yoga Monday night, but unfortunately, Veterans' Chair Yoga has been canceled again. If I sign up for the Love Yourself Yoga, that starts Tuesday - oh my, I have to make a decision fairly quickly! - Yikes!
So I've been carrying around this issue for a while, and as I mentioned yesterday, I've wanted to post about it, but didn't have the right day to do it until today.
I've been giving some serious contemplation to having fat removal from my inner thighs, down to my knees. I'm not sure if it would be lipo, or the non-invasive "fat freeze" technique they have now where they freeze the fat cells from the outside.
My knees, my inner thighs -- have always been a contention with me. No matter what I've weighed - 112 to 186 - they've always been disproportionately large. And I'm sure it's not muscle, ha ha.
It's truly been a pre-occupation of mine for so long, that I'm wondering if I should do something about it to reconcile this THING about me, so that I can let it go and move on. I really feel as though my thigh/knee fat holds me back. It also runs my life, as every exercise endeavor is an attempt to get rid of these thighs & fat knees.
I spoke to a lady who had weight-loss surgery this week. As you may recall, she had lost all of this weight, and then decided to dedicate this year to "reconstruction" - mentally, physically, emotionally -- before deciding to do any surgery to remove skin. I checked in with her this week, telling her about my situation, and asked her where she was in HER journey, to help put my situation into perspective.
She said she's happy with her reconstruction process so far. She is still seeing results from her workouts, so she's not ready to have surgery, if at all. As long as she keeps seeing results or has decided that she's happy with where she's at, she will delay any surgery.
She suggested I do squats, sumo squats, and wall chairs (sitting against a wall), to see if focused exercise would help, first. It's a lot cheaper, she said, which she is right.
So I tried doing squats yesterday, and my knees and hips click something awful. It's painful, not in a good way, either. I'm not sure I can be disciplined enough to work on my thighs/knees naturally. And so this thought discouraged me something awful yesterday as well.
Obviously, I have to figure this out myself. It's just something I've been wanting to bring to the table and just get it all out.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
wow! you have so many options of exercise / fitness / mental health options to sign up for! remember, even signing up for 1 is enough ;)
i totally understand you not being happy with certain body parts. in all the photos you post, you always look beautiful.
i have a friend that doesn't have any savings, that wants to get implants (chest). but she looks just fine. i think, personal opinion here, it's a waste for her as she'll have chances of issues with them, more doctor's appointments, and more bills. but she wants to do it, to make herself feel good.
for a long time, i know you were working on being happy with yourself as you are. being happy with maintaining a weight and not gaining.
i have fat on my thighs. i have cellulite.
i once did some of the cryo session thing on my abs. i found a cheap deal and signed up to freeze the fat on my stomach. i'd say it worked, it was around 5-6 years ago i think). but when i say it worked, it was MINIMAL. and, let me tell you, after that, i felt as though my muscle in my abs was weaker. something was off. i felt it affected also my digestion. just things seemed off and my abs seemed weaker afterwards. maybe it's just a mental thing, but i don't think it was worth having it done. it didn't fix me and what i really have found to help is more consistancy in my diet and exercise. so, perhaps i was happy with the procedure, but not enough to tell people it's going to change them enough. and it left me thinking i hurt my body (ab muscles) more than helped.
My doubts are exactly what you mention: all the follow-up, potential for things going wrong or looking worse, etc.
On the other hand, your comment made me think, "Oh I wonder if there's a Groupon for this!" ha ha ha -- will I ever learn?
then again,, if i were rich, i may get hair extensions and all sorts of things, LOL.
Okay, I've been wanting to discuss something with you all, but either I do not have enough time or something else comes up. Today, something else came up, so I will write about this other thing separately - probably tomorrow.
Day 7: Today I will try new things. Mantra: I am not afraid to try new things.
Donkey Yoga Adventures, Chapter 2
I am not afraid to try new things, right? Today is a day to try new things, right? So I thought I'd try Restorative Yoga at the New Yoga Studio. They are promoting a free lavendar neck/shoulder massage at the end of the session. What a nice thing after such a stressful week at work. Right?
RIGHT?
But I thought, first, I want to sign up for the 5-class "Love Yourself Yoga" in October, before I leave for the session. Well, they take PayPal. OK... well, I'm not afraid, so I'll do it. I have to create an account, get a verification number texted to my phone, log in, indicate my payee, put in my card information -- I do all that, and I'm ready to pay and... the SEND MONEY button won't activate. When I put my cursor over the SEND button, I can't send.
Repeat the above 5 times. Yes, 5 freakin' times. Still doesn't work. Now I'm getting really stressed.
I message the new yoga studio, and they said that they were working on getting a friendlier online pay system set up, but that I could come to the studio and pay there. OK, well, maybe I'll do that...
I ask my husband for help. I walk him through it. I try to pay through PayPal 2 MORE times -- still doesn't work. He cannot help me. (At least it's not just me, 'cuz I thought I was goingicray-cray.)
By now, I'm completely stressed out by New Yoga Studio. No, I don't want to go to Restorative Yoga today. No, I don't want a relaxing massage. Just leave Donkey alone.
I do a little more research and now I'm GLAD that Pay Pal didn't work. Why?
How can I not like someone that I haven't even met yet? I don't know but that's just how this Donkey rolls. (This was the same excuse reason -- one of them, anyway -- that I didn't sign up for Yoga Hike --- because I don't LIKE the teacher "Bree". And I'm sure that these 2 ladies are perfectly lovely. I just don't like them, I'm pretty sure.)
Needless to say, today was kind of a disaster - and this was all before 11am. I'm going think think twice the next time I try to be brave. Um, no.
EPILOGUE EDIT: The New Yoga person IM'ed me back, sing she fixed the online registration if I wanted to check it out, or that I could still pay by check. I thought that was really nice. Okay, I'll think about it, Becky.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
One of my biggest downfalls in life is pushing too hard to make things happen that aren't or weren't meant to be.
So maybe this is one of those circumstances.
I think you are telling yourself you don't like the teachers as, like you said, an excuse to not do it.
if you try these things, i urge you to realize that everyone is there for the same reason and to not worry how you seem in the class (like if you are new, beginner) and not to worry about other people's perceptions of you. you do these things for you.
i do understand your anxiety to try these new things, alone.
I love your reminder that everyone is there for the same reason, and therefore, not to worry.
Not only that, but I also think that perhaps these particular teachers are there for me to learn - not just yoga, but what they also bring to the class or event. Everything is an opportunity to learn.
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I don't think it's indulgent at all, I think you're working towards a better balance and there's nothing at all wrong with that!
Horn_of_plenty on 10/08/2019:
Great, GREAT plans with yoga and the studios you plan to attend. EVEN BETTER, awesome idea to supplement your practice at home. CONVENIENCE will be helpful!
I want to comment on the introvert situation - one good thing is during yoga the focus is not on conversation but on your practice. so, it's more structured. as an introvert, i prefer that type of social situation, maybe you also do.
like legs, i like your approach and you are def branching out and learning a TON about yoga and the styles / and teachers!