Kind of a difficult day today... The sadness from the disability-pension hearing yesterday - just having to rehash how sick Husband really is, and knowing that our case is a losing battle - and then some grief swelling up today... And the gray, rainy weather isn't helping much, either.
Plus I gotta go to dang work today. I'm guessing I'll have 80 emails waiting for me, unless Mistakes Girl was able to find time to look through my emails. I doubt it though, because I know she was very busy with her own stuff yesterday. As I left at 11:30am yesterday, Male Co-Worker said that he was seriously thinking about shutting his office door and just not answering the phones any more, because that's how constant all of the interruptions were.
It was nice (?) to visit with Daughter after the hearing for dinner. She comes home tonight from her 5-day training seminar. We went to an Italian restaurant, and I ordered spaghetti and HUGE meatball. I would say that I probably ate too much, but lunch was minimal. Something at dinner was very salty because I was drinking a lot of water last night, but still fell short of my goal.
No walk this morning, but I will walk at lunchtime. It may be a struggle to get in sufficient steps today, but that's OK. If I fall short, I will consider it another "active rest" day. No weights. I'm not sure if I will do any exercise after Church Grief Group. I'm not talking about a workout, but rather more like a light bike ride to stretch out my hips/back or an outside walk to clear my head. But I may just want to get ready for bed... Playing that one by ear :-)
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
A quick entry, because I'd like to get to work early, since I am leaving at 11:30am, so that I can accompany Husband to his pension hearing this afternoon. We plan to meet up with Daughter for dinner afterwards. It will be a long day.
So I went to Walmart yesterday, instead of my lunch walk, and walked out with 1 big plant and 3 little succulents. I originally went in for a bag of tropical soil mix to repot my new banana plant, but saw that they had bird of paradise plants, and I've really wanted one - although I'm not sure I'm ready for such high maintenance plants like Bird & Banana. I'm not sure why I grabbed the succulents - I don't even really like succulents, but these guys looked so cute, and one of them is trying to sprout a flower! How exciting!!!
So I guess this means I have a little more repotting to do this weekend. That's OK.
My step-count was in the 7600's which is what I wanted for an "active rest day". Water was insufficient. Eating was OK. No more desserts left in the house.
Work was insanely busy though. When it gets this busy, I have no time for and very little patience with other people's mistakes, because it just makes more work for me. I don't think that the Replacement Guy is truly the right person for the job we have him doing. He'll probably make a fine litigation attorney some day, but administrative work just aren't his thing. Ya know, though, it's OK. I'm glad he's with us, and he is helpful - just not as helpful as we need him to be, I guess.
Anyway, this leaving early today is not a good thing, if I get as many emails today as I did yesterday. Every time I stepped away from my desk to do something (scan, call, get a cup of coffee), I'd come back to 10 new emails. I kid you not. Repeatedly. And I CANNOT stay late tomorrow to catch up, because we have Church Grief Group at 7pm.
Work-life balance is totally out the window. I'm surprised that I'm able to keep it together as much as I am doing. That I haven't eaten everything out of the pantry and refrigerator says a lot. At least my eating - while not ideal, I'll grant you that - is not totally off the cliff.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
The lack of coverage scenario will definitely play out the last week of June, when Male Co-Worker goes on vacation. He will be out, Queen Bee will be out of town, Nice Lady will be on vacation, and Mistakes Girl will be gone. The Boss won't think about it any sooner than he has to, though, and by then, it will be too late.
I miss all those plants that grew so easily on their own In Southern California and even some in Northern California. But have to say I greatly prefer the 4 seasons here in Pennsylvania.
I like houseplants too, nothing fancy now, the common varieties like pothos & philodendron and ones I can’t name.
Was really into orchids, phals, but not enough room when all the fish tanks came along. Musta tossed out 3 dozen plants. None in bloom, stopped tending to them. Also tossed my big amaryllis collection
I miss all those plants that grew so easily on their own In Southern California and even some in Northern California. But have to say I greatly prefer the 4 seasons here in Pennsylvania.
I like houseplants too, nothing fancy now, the common varieties like pothos & philodendron and ones I can’t name.
Was really into orchids, phals, but not enough room when all the fish tanks came along. Musta tossed out 3 dozen plants. None in bloom, stopped tending to them. Also tossed my big amaryllis collection
Eating was a bit indulgent yesterday, but no binges. Had a dessert at lunch and at dinner. Oh well, it was also a higher step-count day. Water was only OK. I was tired but I motivated myself to do some upper body weights - using light weights, but it was still something.
Today I have a different focus. Today and tomorrow will be active rest days. So I have no expectation to reach 10,000 steps. My lunchtime walk today will be at Walmart, since it's raining here pretty much all day. Tomorrow afternoon, I will be with Husband at a hearing related to his pension, so no lunchtime walk tomorrow either. In fact, I'm anticipating a lot of sitting, and I've reconciled myself to that. A bit of rest will do me good.
I've been experiencing some twinges in my lower back, and some muscle strain in my calves. So a little rest is probably called for. Considering how I'm feeling physically, along with the necessity of tasks (hearing, Walmart), I'm totally OK with this rest.
I realized at work that while it's not great that Replacement Guy is making mistakes, it's enough that he's at least getting the information into the database and opening up the physical files. Corrections and missed steps can be addressed, but getting the file opened is probably the higher priority. Wouldn't it be wonderful if he could open up files quickly AND get things completely right? Yes, it would. I've decided that I am flexible, but I know Male Co-Worker will be throwing fits when he starts getting files with things incomplete.
The Boss has a follow-up with his cardiologist today, and then tomorrow there are 2 mysterious meetings. One is with his daughter in the morning, and one is after work at 6pm. Why would that one be on the calendar??? What is that all about??? I asked him if the meeting with his daughter had anything to do witih revisiting Italy in the fall. Sadly it does not, so it's something else. I suspect that perhaps there may be changes coming up.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
Once Mistakes Girl leaves in June, it will be a struggle to take any time off. Perhaps I can do shorter days.
Hope the new guy works out. He has a good coach in you, so there’s hope. I see you as a patient, kind advisor.
Yep! Donk! Take it easy when you get those back twinges etc. Been there, done that, very unpleasant.
I had to wear a heart monitor once. Everything was ok. Thing I most remember is when Matt dropped it off at the office, they billed me a nurse’s consult. LOL. The receptionist just told him to put it on her desk. She was busy on the phone. Never saw no nurse or the pcp.
When mistakes guy makes mistakes, make sure you teach and address it to him so he learns abs also compliment anything he is doing well so it’s not all negative ..
I try to point out procedural mistakes, not typos. But frankly, he's not very well suited for what we have him doing.
I'm not even sure what to say about eating yesterday. I think it went well, but who could tell with all the craziness during the day? Step-count was excellent. Yoga was wonderful - truly wonderful. For once, I truly felt in balance with the present, with my grief, with my gratitude.
My work life, though, was completely insane. The Boss skipped a closing despite the fact that he had separate, lengthy discussions with New Guy AND myself on Friday about him needing to attend the closing. He just decided to assign the closing to New Guy and didn't think twice about it -- except that New Guy had a closing of his own to attend. So nobody showed up at the Boss' closing -- MY FILE!!! The Boss blamed it on the computer not updating the calendar, but frankly, we had complete conversations about him attending this closing, so.....
Then there was some kind of miscalcuation on funds being paid out on another file. It was on New Guy's file, but the Boss holds the bank account. So the Boss was struggling to figure out the amounts for the checks to cut, and New Guy just sat there, not mentioning that some of it was already paid out at the closing that he attended. I guess New Guy just figured he didn't need to think about it because the Boss was handling it. Sloppy.
And the Replacement Kid is making a lot of mistakes. Should I call him Mistakes Guy? LOL... It's mostly mistakes of omission - not following through on things. I figured out that he hadn't taken Business Law, and then also learned that he hadn't taken the Contracts class at paralegal school either. So the 3 classes that would have really helped him with this job, he didn't take. Oh well, can't be too choosy, but it's just frustrating.
Can't be too choosy, becasue Mistakes Girl had some problems with her OB appointment yesterday, and we're waiting to hear today if the doctor decides to deliver the baby sooner than expected. I was truly hoping we'd have her for a couple of weeks into June, but I completely 100% support her in whatever she needs to do for herself and baby. I guess it's just a startling reminder not to take things for granted. You'd think I'd learn that already, with everything else that has happened.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
What a mess at your job! A shame good help is hard to find.
It certainly was a productive weekend, I'll give you that. I think I'm done with repotting plants, LOL. That was a LOT of hard work - lifting, steps, stairs, etc. And one plant, I'm not even sure I did the right thing, but I couldn't deal with tossing the plant's roots out, so I repotted it, covered it with moss, and we'll see what happens. If nothing happens, if nothing re-grows, I can compost the soil.
I have only 1 more actual plant left to repot, and I'm waiting for the loose rooting that I stuck back in the pot before buying the whole plant, to take a better hold before I stress out the plant again. I think the loose rooting (that I'm trying hard to save) will lose a leaf, but the other 2 leafs might hang in there.
Filling out the packet was emotionally hard, but Daughter and I got through it. We did most of it, and then asked Husband for his approval or tie-breaking vote. But it really wasn't "tie-breaking" in the sense that someone lost out, but rather choosing between favorites. Picking out the songs was hard, listening to them on YouTube. Music has a way of touching the soul, and it was hard not to cry. I'm so relieved that this part is finished, though. And Husband was very grateful that we did this, because he said he was just no good at any of that stuff. (Good thing I didn't leave it up to him, then or it never would have gotten done.)
No weight training over the weekend, and tonight is yoga. It should be a nice day for lunchtime walking. Seriously, though, if I walk into a million new contracts today, I'm not going to be happy.
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
I haven't ventured into edibles yet. I don't think I will go that direction, but who knows, could be...
Like I said in group on Saturday, It gets me out of bed, it gets me cleaned up. And that's something.
Yesterday was OK. The sadness from the Grief Group kind of lingered for the rest of the day. It did NOT help that it was cold and gray, either. Today, it is nicely cool and the sun is out. It's a nice day to be outside.
I checked out my library books, and only 2 of the 3 are worth reading at length. The 3rd one is more about how to design your home with plants, and how other la-dee-dah people have done that. Well, I don't care about any of that. What I actually like are books describing different kinds of plants, which the other 2 books have some of that, but they are mostly about how to have happy plants and how plants can make us happy. I'm always up for learning about plant care and such.
The "dinner and a movie" was a bust. Husband picked a movie that I had no patience for, so about halfway through, I said I couldn't watch any more of it. The Adjustment Bureau - God runs the world like the CIA and has undercover agents making sure that we follow our fates. Just dumb. Not even a slice of chocolate cake could make the movie palatable.
One of the things to do this weekend that I left off of my list yesterday was to go through the packet that the church gave us for Son's memorial service. Neither one of us has gone through the packet, but I guess it's to pick out readings and music. This did not get done yesterday, but I want/need this to get done now (NOW), so it will be on the list of things to do, perhaps this afternoon.
The transferred title to Son's car has come in, so we are ready to make the decision to sell the car or not. I still have not yet sat in the car. It is where he died. Pretty much from the beginning, I felt that sitting in the car was something that I needed to do. But maybe that's not really necessary after all, since we've pretty much come to the decision to sell it. Personal possessions won't bring him back.
Things to Do Today:
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
They have a slob and an order pair up to clean. OMG. One guy vacuums his lawn
I think selling the car, if that's what you all agree on, is the thing to do and i see why you feel it is ok to do.Thank you or sharing with us more about your son and the circumstances. you are so strong, intelligent, and someone that is a role model to me.
Not the best weigh-in but it's hard to tell, because dinner last might was very salty, and TOM is here, so there's a lot of fluid retention today. Or maybe I just ate too much this week. Having said that, though, I am feeling increasingly that I am where I should be at. I like the muscles in my arms and back. Last weekend at the gym, I caught a glance at my legs, and there is definition that I haven't noticed or appreciated. I know that if I honed in on my diet, I could lose a few pounds and really get that muscle definition to come in. But now is not the time for that, for where I'm at. To try to do that now would be incredibly taxing and self-abusive.
I discovered an in-person support group that is with the Zoom Grief Group organization. I wish I had paid more attention or seen the announcement sooner. I can attend the group via Zoom, which I will, but had I prepared better, I could have attended in person. I hope they will do this again. This meeting is at 10am today, which kind of changes the order of what I had in mind to do today, but that's OK. What doesn't happen today, besides the support group, can happen tomorrow or perhaps wasn't meant to be.
Things I Can Do This Weekend:
Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
you have such nice things planned for today. i'm mostly home, but looking to go out grocery shopping and be more productive toward the second half of the day!
What a long week. And I say that having had a short day yesterday. It feels like today should be a weekend. Thank goodnes for the Memorial Day weekend coming up soon, even though, I know for myself, it will be surreal and sad, since now we have Son to mourn. Well, we have Papa (step-father), my Grandpa, Husband's grandpa (Papaw) to honor as well, although they did not die on active duty.
I have 3 new plant books to check out at the library this weekend, so I'm really looking forward to that. I want to organize something that will help me keep the care needs organized. I'm thinking an Excel spreadsheet. Anyway, that's one reason for the books. The other reason is to live vicariously and scope out my next plant adoption (maybe).
I really paid the price for taking Wednesday afternoon off. I was like triple busy yesterday, pretty much the whole day from beginning until I left at 5:45pm. Go, go, go! Ugh... That's how it rolls, especially in the busy season.
I have my parathyroid ultrasound and radioactive scan - 2 separate scans, and the 2nd one is a 2-part scan - scheduled for the middle of June. That will be a day off, and most likely, nobody will be able to cover my desk. Mmm, and on a Thursday too, which is bad, becasue we have closings on Friday, and everything comes in last minute the day before. Oh well, not my problem.
I confronted the Boss yesterday and asked him if he has a heart monitor. He does, which he'll wear for 2 days and then submit it for results.
Eating was only OK yesterday. Had some white rice and 5 chocolates for lunch. That's not good. But overall eating was OK - no deep ends. Water was good (it's warm and humid here, which helps). It took everything in me to do 2 back exercises for weight training.
Oh well, let's get this day started so we can start the weekend - woo hoo!
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
The other room is Son's room, where we will keep his memorabilia and his ashes (for now, until we can come to a decision on his internment). I would like a couple of big leafy plants in that room, plus a 4 tiered plant shelf (narrow and tall, not wide) for a number of smaller plants.
Do a Google on "banana plant", "philodendron selloum" or "philodendron hope", and "bird of paradise" to see what I have in mind for Son's room.
remember that chocoaltes and rice and any food type is not "bad," and rather it's the amount.
the sentence above is what is saving me as of late; especially during work lunches. speaking of that; i plan to have a snack tonight which may count to help me counterract most of my eating at the boxing matches....i hope to include some healthier things / volume wise...maybe a strange kombucha flavor...
So yes, I left work early yesterday. I had initially planned to leave at 3pm (forget the movie - I can watch it anytime now that I know I can stream it), but New Gal pissed me off so much that I promptly changed my leave time to 1:30p. And I left at 1:37p which is pretty prompt for me.
I was so honked off at New Gal, that I took it out on Associate Attorney. I quickly apologized, letting him know that I'm mad at someone else and took it out on him. He said he understood me completely. Then I went to Nice Lady and told her how I was feeling. She was quite sympathetic and agreed that New Gal is "untouchable" -- cannot correct or reproach her in any way.
I was still upset, so I vented to Mistakes Gal, who then told me that she was so mad at New Guy (attorney). I went to Male Co-Worker and he told me that he was so mad at New Guy (attorney) and New Gal.
So we're all just a bunch of frustrated people mad at each other.
I left at 1:30pm and i noticed that the Boss had a 3pm appointment at the hospital for what I think will be a heart monitor. The other attorneys had meetings in the afternoon, so they can do without me for 3.5 hours while I regained my sanity.
Eating went well, probably because I left work early. I did minimal leg weights, but that's OK because at least I did something. Enjoyed a nice walk on my treadmill, a couple of nice bike rides on my recumbent bike to loosen up my back. I did manage to catch the end of the movie on TV. I still want to watch it from the beginning.
I went to Walmart and walked out with, among other personal items, 2 more plants.
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
I feel like I'm in a situation like "the enemy of my enemy is my friend", considering all that I've been through with Male Co-Worker and Mistakes Girl. I've grown to appreciate aspects of both of them that I think have made me a better person.
The other plant was a Ficus Audrey. It was in a mislabeled pot, and I thought maybe it was a "bird of paradise". Sadly it wasn't, but that's OK because she has beautiful green leaves. Mistakes Girl told me that Ficus plants can get quite big/tall.
A 61 body battery actually means only go for a walk in the morning and do light stretching. No cardio or weights. I’m getting way different messages this week with it in the 80s and 90s consistently. It’s so magic 8 ball.
Eating did not go as well yesterday (Tuesday) as it did on Monday. If I could eat every day like I did on Monday, I would reach my goals. Too many chocolates at work. Then, had tortilla chips at dinner, which were extra. Should have just kept the darn bag shut. Talk about Pandora's Box -- it's more like Padora's Bag of Chips.
Good news though - Male Co-Worker is NOT leaving early today, so I can leave early as I had wanted, which I think I will do, especially if my plant books I ordered from the library come in.
More good news - I discovered that the movie is on TV this afternoon is also available on Paramount+, so I can stream it with no commercials, which I think I will do.
I also may shop a little bit at Walmart, by myself, and pick up a plant or 2 that I saw over the weekend, but did not purchase. I've been thinking of these 2 particular plants since then, quite a bit. There are other things I need to get, too, so it's not just for the plants. (LOL)
I did do upper body weights last night - chest and shoulders, triceps. Tonight will be legs, if I can muster up the motivation. The biggest concern is losing what I've worked hard to gain.
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!
I always visit the discounted plant section at lowes, All the poor things usually need is a tall cool glass of water.
glad you got your workouts in last night, especially upper body. you are back in teh game xo....yes, stick to the discipline so you do not lose your gains...that's basically my motivation right now more than anything.
[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 Next Page ]
I'm sorry to hear that things didn't go as well as you had hoped yesterday.....But glad to hear that you enjoyed a meal with your daughter....Thankfully it's friday and I'm assuming that you get Monday off? Sounds like the morale in the office is at a low.......Hang in there...((HUGS))....
legcramps on 05/27/2022:
Enjoy your walk at lunchtime, even if it is really short and sweet, it will still give you a break from work - which sounds pretty stressful right now.
Maria7 on 05/27/2022:
I hope your weekend goes well and you have some happy things to do to help you feel better. One day at a time...
horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2022:
re your previous entry - even though your work/life balance may be off and you are taking time off; the work will always be work to return to; and i KNOW you will catch up to it.
I work with a lady in the trailer that i've written about before, she's 44 so 5 years older and has twins that are 11 or 12 and also an older girl whos like 24. anyways, she has had to take off multiple times as mom or come in late or leave early. some of it is even just for her - dr's appointments and dentists and the like.she takes off more than i do for that - but she won't take off the whole day and she'll then be able to make up the hours on other day to still get the same full paycheck. it only works i think bc she's a mom and caretaker (kinda like how you are for your hubby). i don't think i'd ever get away with attempting her type of schedule - with lateness to work bc of kids or leaving early.... but my point is that in a way it keeps her on her toes and work doesn't get boring when her work is always ready for her when she returns....unlike myself who is there basically for the full day most days....and sometimes the work may be slow...