Today was weigh-in day -- I weigh in once a month when I volunteer at the legal clinic. My philosophy is that since I see these people only once a month, they will be sure to notice any weight I've lost.
Of course, with only 2.5 pounds lost, nobody noticed today -- ha ha -- but I was glad to get the 2 pounds OFF that I had added back ON after a week of stress eating. I want to look forward to being in the 160's at next weigh-in.
I started classes this past week. I hope that this semester is less depressing than last semester. Last semester I cried every night. Seriously. This was situational and not depression, although the situation was very depressing, if that makes sense. I leave work early 2 of the 3 days that I am there so that I can get to class on time. Monday night will be the first test of my nerves because I go from the law firm directly to school and don't get home until 10:30p. So I am away from home from 8am-10:30p. I don't like that.
I was very heartened to receive a phone call today from the teacher of the ESL class I have been volunteering with. I like her a lot and I think she likes me; we work well together, that is. But she understands that I am busy with my schooling, so she asked me if I would be able to help with her classes this semester. I told her that I did not receive any sign-up sheets so I guess I was out of the volunteer program.
Let me tell you, it really hurts when you are REJECTED from VOLUNTEERING.
The teacher told me, though, that I was already signed up for Wednesdays. Well, I cannot make it Wednesdays, but I could make it Thursdays. So even though I had chalked it up to "God's Will" when I thought I was rejected, I am happy to be re-included and agreed to help out. Do I have the time to do this? Not really, but I figure if I am more disciplined with my time, spending LESS time on Facebook, I should be fine. The problem is that now I'm addicted to Words With Friends, thanks to Alec Baldwin.
Anyway, being busy keeps me away from the refrigerator, hopefully, and keeps my spirits up >>> very important for weight loss.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 35 lbs to go!
I have not given up!
I've been trying to get a handle on the stress eating, and I think it's been working a little bit. Probably relying on that evening glass of wine (or 2) a little too much though. So that's the next thing to cut out, and more water is the thing to bring in.
I will weigh in this Saturday. I volunteer at a legal clinic that meets once a month on a Saturday. This Saturday is Legal Clinic Saturday. Since I see these people only once a month, I thought it would be cool to monitor my progress that way. But with the recent rise in stress eating last week, I don't think I will have lost any weight.
Classes have started. I think I will be OK. If nothing else, it gets me out of the law firm early. On the other hand, there's less time to get work done at the firm. It's always a double-edged sword... They are forecasting a snow storm tomorrow all day, so I anticipate that my 1 hour commute home will be extended to around 2 hours. Isn't that a joy to look forward to?
I've been having problems with my foot with plantar fasciitis again. This is even WITHOUT being active :-( I wish I could keep this in the forefront of my thoughts before I reach for something to eat. The extra weight I'm carrying around cannot be good for my poor foot.
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 37 lbs to go!
As long as you don't give up, that's what matters. Have a great day.
I do not expect a good weigh-in. I am amazed how quickly the stress eating has come back with a vengence. The mindless nibbling to cope with anxiety.... Not good, not good.
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 37 lbs to go!
My weigh-in day is Saturday morning. I did not lose any weight this week, BUT....
Friday night I came home from work and was so tired and stressed. My husband was upstairs having a bad day -- didn't even see him. He didn't come down to meet me and then he went to bed about an hour after I came home. And I was very hungry.
So I had a larger dinner, but it was very very salty. I think these two items combined, plus the fact that I weighed myself after having 2 cups of coffee and toast for breakfast, led up to the bad weigh-in.
This week is a more "normal" week as it is a full work week, so I can space out my 3 work days M/W/F instead of Tu/Th/Fr. Those consecutive days zap out my energy for sure. Now they want me to come in on Saturday OR Sunday mornings to do misc. work on the foreclosure files??? I don't know if I can justify that with a 2 hour round trip commute.... PLUS, with classes starting in 1.5 weeks..... But the extra money sure would be nice.
But all of this is an example of why I am working at losing weight this year: Because stress will always been there.
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 37 lbs to go!
i hope that you are feeling better than you did on friday, after this weekend! wishing you the best, always!
I didn't get the job.
Needless to say, I was disappointed. I was so looking forward to a short, local commute. And more independence and responsibility. I have to think that this was for the best, for whatever reasons it worked out this way.
I was very upset last night, though. Not so much that I didn't get the job, but more so because the interviewer told me (on the voice mail message she left me) that she felt that I belonged at a large firm. I really resented that. And I think that just proves that she either wasn't listening to me or didn't understand me at all, because I've already done the "large law firm downtown Chicago" thing and I'm done with that.
But this was my first major "diet test" of the year. This exemplifies my purpose for "starting over" and trying again. I could not keep putting off trying to get back to a healthier life --- or remain at the point where I continued to GAIN weight -- as a response to the stressors in my life. If it's not school and tests, it will be the internship/commute, or the learning a new job with new responsibilities, or whatever.
Believe me, after listening to that voice mail, and then sitting down to dinner (probably not the smartest choice of order to do things), I wanted to eat seconds and thirds of dinner, topped off by an ice cream dessert. And I ain't talking about no Skinny Cow dessert either!
But I didn't. I had a little extra cabbage and then I called it an early night. I'm glad I did.
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 37 lbs to go!
I had a good day today, a great way to start off the new year... Mostly drank more water and watched what I ate. The wind was just wickedly cold here today; I had to cancel my gym membership for financial reasons last year. But I'm OK with starting off with small steps.
Tonight my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary by going out to dinner. Our anniversary was a few days ago, but this was the best day to really have time to go out and enjoy ourselves. Unfortunately, I spent most of the evening talking about my job dilemma. I'm glad I did though because I felt better afterwards, like we were on the same page. I realize that I have more questions to ask if I am indeed offered the job. And if I'm not then I will be content with where I am at right now.
"Things that must be done are best done cheerfully."
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 37 lbs to go!
Most disappointed but not surprised with my weigh-in today. I knew that it was going to be bad by the way my clothes were fitting on me. Frankly, with the holiday, I did not do much to continue the direction of the scale. Actually I'm OK with this in respects that it brings me (almost) to my Start Weight, and if this is going to be my journey in 2012 then at least I'm starting at the very beginning (minus 1/2 poumd).
It has not been a good week. It has been very stressful. And this is the time where I should be relaxing and recharing in between semesters.
I had a job interview this week, and it went well. I would say that I think I am going to be offered the position. The problem is that it is with a lawyer who is just starting to grow her practice. I currently work part-time at a small law firm, but they are well established. They have a solid base, more benefits, etc. The problem is that I'm not very happy there. I really need to sit down and write out a list of pros and cons and then pray on the matter.
The details are not important. It's been stressful trying to decide which is the path for me. I think I would be happier in the new position, but then, maybe not, as it could end up being just as stressful as the job I'm at now. I have to be careful that I am not changing jobs because I am afraid.
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 37 lbs to go!
Donkey is making a comeback! :-)
LOL, OK, it's been a tough year, which by the looks of the scale, you can probably see that. Most of the stress-eating has come from being in school. This is an excuse, because it didn't have to be that way, but that's how I chose to deal with the stress, and I'm owning that. There have been ups and downs this year besides, but the main constant seems to be a couple of really tough semesters and an internship that feels like I've been thrown into the deep end of the water.
I started trying to get back on track about 2 weeks ago, and it worked, but the the holidays came so I've indulged again. I came to the point where I realized there was gonna be stress all my life -- probably constant, since I've chosen a stressful career to jump into -- and that stress could not become a permanent reason for being overweight forever.
It's very uncomfortable for me, physically, to be this overweight. However, psychologically and emotionally, I like it. Maybe I even love it. Which is quite a switch for me, because I used to judge my self-worth on what I weighed. I'm thinking it's another step forward in the positive journey of self-acceptance.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 35 lbs to go!
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 35 lbs to go!
I took a sneak peek at the scale this morning, and I can see that the holiday bloat (water weight) is gone. Now it's time to buckle down and get the actual WEIGHT off.
People.com (People magazine online) has an interview with Drew Carey about his weight loss journey. It's very short, but he spoke briefly about not obsessing about the number that he weighs but making permanent changes to his lifestyle. I know that he does a strict low-carb diet but he has diabetes so maybe he needs to do that. But what he said about not focusing on the numbers is exactly how I'm looking at my journey now too.
I want to thank everyone who stopped by to welcome me "home" after a long hiatus. I can't tell you how encouraging and inspiring it is to know that there are people here that care, who are willing to forgive (me) and accept me for who I am.
I recently came to the revelation that a LOT of my depression over the past couple of years, stemming from a legal incident involving a motor vehicle accident, is not because I think that I am a bad person who doesn't belong in society. No, most of the depression is a manifestation of my disappointment in my fellow neighbor and human being, in their quickness to judge and condemn, rather than to seek it within themselves to forgive. Now I know what Jesus meant by saying that it's easier to ask a dead man to walk than it is for people to forgive one another.
I see now (thanks to an episode of the Sopranos) that "good" and "bad" are really the same thing, and not polar opposites. That is to say, that we all have good and bad (yes) within us, and that we are not "good people" or "bad people" (contrary to what my neighbors think) but part of a flawed humanity.
What the heck does this have to do with losing weight? Well, a lot of it, for me, is about forgiving oneself. Not so much absolution but rather acceptance. So think about that when you "slip up" or binge. And another part that has to do with diet is that the concept of no "bad" or "good" foods, but rather, a tasty array of cuisine that exists in the world and that we have to learn to co-exist with and accept within ourselves.
Progress as of today: 9 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
I like how you compared good and bad between people and food. How imaginative! As soon as I read "tasty array of cuisine" I imagined a plate of the most colorful combinations of foods; made my lower lip tremble a bit, it did.
Have a great day today Donkey!
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yup, in regards to being busy, it keeps me generally happier and out of the fridge too. however, working the OT is lately just getting my exhausted by the weekend. so i'm not sure that working so many extra hours in one place is healthy...but volunteering and doing other short-term and more "giving back" types of things is sure to help you and most people feel good and stay occupied, out of the fridge. i'm glad you get to do that...and speaking of fun activites, I will be judging some music students on Saturdays during the month of March and maybe a Saturday in May. I'll be doing this all day on those Saturdays,but it's a project i've given myself. similiar to your volunteering but we do actually get paid which is awesome! the activity overall is very rewarding and will be good for my wellbeing.
Maria7 on 01/22/2012:
Congrats on your lower number. :-) Happy for ya!
WII on 01/25/2012:
Congratulations! See what not giving up does for you?! Awesome work!!
glycrina on 02/02/2012:
Hey Donkey -- I must have missed you when you came back. It is good to see you back. It's funny how when I read your posts I think "I am exactly like that!" -- like the whole thing about getting rejected from volunteering -- I would have felt the same way but it turns out they did want you! and who wouldn't? Congrats on the loss!
thinnside40 on 02/28/2012:
I have read a few of your latest entries and will say that I can hear so much more positive from you.... I am happy for you & hoping things continue to have a positive outlook as well ;o)