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Donkey - Saturday Feb 03, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

Right where I belong at 128.5, and it's been a productive week as far as goals and putting things into their proper perspective.  

I adjusted my "goal weight" on my FitBit tracker to a maintenance mode of 125.  I started the year at 128.5 and seem to be maintaining that number plus or minus (mostly plus) 2 pounds.  That's maintenance.  I haven't changed my goal weight here, though, because I do want to see the progress that I made this time around in losing (the same) weight.

Also, I'm playing with the idea of limiting my steps/activity from week to week.  One week, I will aim to have a step goal of 15,000 steps a day, and then the next week, lower the goal to 10,000.  That will serve 2 purposes:

  1. Keep my body guessing, which hopefully would result in lower numbers (Is that really what I want?)
  2. Give my body rest

Had a revelation from one of my comments earlier this week:  the scale does not always reward healthy choices.  The scale(s) really messed with my mind this week.  I had that big sweet potato for lunch (a healthy choice but lots of carbs), but the scale showed I lost 2 pounds, and yet, the body fat scale said that I GAINED 1% body fat.  WHAT????  So what does that mean?:

  1. Made high carb choice, but still lost weight
  2. Lost weight, but gained fat.

This is just crazy.

 PS  BEST ACCOMPLISHMENT THIS WEEK:  Loads of work drama, and I pretty much stayed out of it.  YES!

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/03/2018:
I used to hear the same things at WW over the years....people would be shocked when they lost after a off program week...and would not lose the weeks they were on program...I've also heard that the results on the scale really reflect about 4 weeks ago...instead of recent days...I don't know about that...but I do know for myself that I have to continually shake things up...I can never let myself get into a diet routine where I eat the same things over and over and never vary the daily calories.......my metabolism slows right down to nothing and then I start gaining because of that...I have to continually shake things up to keep moving down...now maintenance is something else though.....I can get out of hand with that real fast....I love the idea that you have maintained for the last year....that can be very difficult.

bearcountrygg on 02/03/2018:
Congrats on ignoring the work problems...it makes being there so much easier I'm sure.

Donkey - Wednesday Jan 31, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.5

Thank you all for your kind words of sympathy and support 

Today was a hungry day.  I hate it when it's like that.  To self-critique, I probably ate too many carbs, including a large sweet potato for lunch, a 100 calorie bag of popcorn (thanks, Maria7!), 2 slices of (diet) bread, and a Fiber One cinnamon "cake" cube thing.

I switched things up this week, because I ran out of almond milk, so instead of having oatmeal with walnuts in the morning, I'm having toast with organic peanut butter.

Hoping for a better weigh-in this week.  I took Horn's self-discipline attitude regarding her workouts, and decided that if I want the numbers to go the way I want them to go, I will need to be self-discipled about it, and deny some things that I would indulge in.  Then today happened, LOL.

PS  Threw out the rest of the cake this morning.

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2018:
i really do not think that a large sweet potato is gonna kill you....the benefits def outweigh any pitfalls, truthfully.

i sometimes eat a massive banana and tell myself the potassium and all outweighs the sugar crash i tend to get...lol.

Donkey on 02/01/2018:
This is where the scale and I clash. A large sweet potato on a "hungry day" is a great choice. But the carbs will show up on the scale (water retention). The scale doesn't always reward the better choice.

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2018:
good change of pace with the oatmeal. i am getting SO SICK of my breakfast of peanut butter on a wrap....deciding to switch to eggs next week on a wrap...i seriously cannot do anymore nut butters right now. even getting sick of the wrap so soon i'll switch that to something else too (diff bread of some sort).

and your note on self discipline - i am getting weaker each time i am at the gym - i can tell bc i am going down in the weights i use. my current fitness plan didn't include bicep curls and i tried them last night and cringed at how difficult they were getting for me! so i am adding them back into my routine despite my fitness plan not including them...

also, in order for me to get better at this very hard fitness plan - just like you are doing with i think eating or weight - i realize it needs to be a 3x a week venture, not 2x. so, despite my desire to not go on friday nights or sunday nights, i'll be including those nights for awhile since that's the best way right now for me to get in 3x a week sessions....i'm doing the uncomfortable to make improvements. if i stick to 2x a week or just don't think about a plan, i see myself not improving much...so cheers to making a commitment and plan to make things happen.

and things DO HAPPEN if you work at it. people at my new job...they have asked if i go to gym and ask what i do. they think i'm so fit...little do they know i've been working at it (mostly on but sometimes i've had to take off bc injuries as you are aware) but i've been working at this goal - the weights - for YEARS. little do they know, i started weights around 22yrs old. now i'm 35. that's 13 years, mostly on a regular schedule - but the results you couldn't really see the first several years...maybe until i turned 30! so, we must learn to always appreciate the PROCESS it takes, not the result.

for me, appreciating the process means struggling right now at the gym with the new routine bc i have confidence deep down that i'm going to improve. right now, i can quit bc i am so terrible at the exercises, but i'd rather just keep on...and keep in my mind that with 3x a week of practice, i may just be able to improve enough to be a court officer...right now it's downright scary...but i'd rather be excited to try out the process..which is why i am continuing.

Donkey on 02/01/2018:
I do remember! It seems as though you have the "Before Injury", the "Injury" (when you couldn't do anything), and now the "After Injury".

I confess that I was doing some research into older entries (from random public members -- I've communicated to you about doing this), and I came across your entries when you were talking about running 6-7 miles. And then some of your entries while you were recovering, and now of course, where you are now.

I'm going to give some thought to what you said about enjoying the process.

bearcountrygg on 02/01/2018:
Sweet potatoes are good for you! And the cake can be portioned out and frozen.

Donkey on 02/01/2018:
Ugh - why didn't I think ahead of time to freeze the leftover cake??? GREAT idea!

horn_of_plenty on 02/02/2018:
Donkey...if it's only water weight for eating a sweet potato....eat the sweet potato!!!!!!!

Maria7 on 02/02/2018:
Glad you enjoyed that 100 calories bag of popcorn. I know I enjoy mine! Smile!

Donkey - Monday Jan 29, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.5

 A couple of things...

#1 - My step-father passed away yesterday morning.  May God bless him.  When he was initially diagnosed with liver cancer, the doctor said that with the course of treatment he chose, he would have about 7 years, and sure enough, he had passed 6.5 years right before the holidays so almost 7 years.  It was an empty, gray, cold day, with not much purpose.  I felt like a zombie for most of the day, but tried to be active here and there.  (This is where my FitBit was helpful, because it helped me stay on track to be active enough.)  The memorial will be in 2 weeks.

#2 - Because Papa passed away, we were able to get a message to my son via the Red Cross, which got my son a 15 minute phone call home.  He called Mr. Donkey, which is fine because I was at work and I know my husband has been so worried about him.  I write letters almost every day, so I feel connected to my son, but my husband hasn't written - not his thing, I guess - so he's been left to stew in his anxiety.  Thank you, Red Cross.

Now we have his graduation date, so we're making plans to go down to Texas to see him graduate from basic training in March.  That is something to look forward to. Even though it will be a financial strain, I wouldn't miss this.

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/30/2018:
Hugs. Big hugs. You are loved, you are wanted and you are not alone.

bearcountrygg on 01/30/2018:
Hugs to you....it's not easy losing a parent...I've been there......but good that you were able to get contact with your son.

horn_of_plenty on 01/30/2018:
I'm so sorry to hear about your step father's passing - but now he is at peace i am totally sure.

I'm so glad your husband spoke with your son - this must have you feeling way better. <3

innerpeace on 01/30/2018:
Sorry to hear about your step-dad. My step dad was the best person I ever knew, I still miss him. I also went to San Antonio to see my son's basic training graduation, it was in July, so very hot and humid. Is your son Air Force or Army? If the Air Force, they make a big three day show of it, very, very pomp and circumstance. I don't remember my Army basic training being a three day affair like that.

Donkey on 01/31/2018:
Air Force :-) I got the schedule and it has been downsized into a 2 day affair, and then they get the weekend free, as well. I can't wait to see him...

Donkey - Sunday Jan 28, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.5

Well, I suck.

I went off the deep end last night.  I can't recall if I was truly hungry, but I was having a yearning to eat.  The problem started with having a late lunch on the road, coming home from the band competition.  So I was hungry at around 7pm but nobody else was.  Also, I was missing my son something terrible.  We haven't heard from him yet.  We thought he'd be able to call home on Friday, but here we are on Sunday and no phone call.  I hope he's not mad at us.  And I hope he's OK.

So I was missing my son, and I am tired of having his good-bye cake staring me in the face at the dinner table every night this past week, so I had a slice of the cake.  And then another.  And some of his favorite Oreo cookie ice cream.  After that, I wanted a proper dinner though, so I had an Italian beef sandwich (with cheese - which I never do).  But then I wanted dessert, so I had more Oreo ice cream, with whipped cream and sprinkles.

After that, I was full.  Way full, but not painfully full.

I'm not so upset with myself for eating so much, as I believe that it's probably a good thing to have a day where I eat more, to keep the metabolism jumping and guessing.  And Saturdays are my "relax" day as far as eating is concerned.  As I was eating the cake and ice cream, I was reconciling with myself that I was truly saying good-bye to my son.  Not that we won't see him again, but that the boy that left this week is gone.  He will come back a man, and everything has changed forever.

What I *AM* upset about, though, is that I am not happy with the numbers on the scale and yet I go and do this.  Now where is the logic in that....

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/28/2018:
In my little world I call that a food fit!!!! I know for me it happens at times of anger, frustration and helplessness..

You are absolutely right...your son will come home a man and you will really enjoy the changes. I'm sure he is just fine, he's learning a lot of new things right now and they want his full attention...but it's hard on parents for sure.

Donkey on 01/28/2018:
I never even thought to consider that I would enjoy the changes in my son the next time we meet - wow! That's my "glass-half-empty" thinking... These patterns are so hard to break <tsk, tsk>

Maria7 on 01/28/2018:
I get disgusted with myself at times, too because I am a 'stress-eater'. I use food to comfort myself when going through extra stress. Try to tell yourself that you deserve a treat and allow yourself the peace in that. It is not easy to let go and trust that all is well but ask the Lord to give you peace about it and I believe that He will. He sure helps me.

Donkey on 01/28/2018:
Very good guidance - thank you :-)

happy-1 on 01/28/2018:
Oh, honey. Big hugs.Sounds like a perfectly good reason to go off the deep end. Your boy is still there, just gets wrapped in a new layer of bark like a tree.

Donkey on 01/29/2018:
True! I guess he can't stay little forever, can he?

horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2018:
Good luck to your daughter !!!!....you have a lot of emotions going on bc son has left - try to get back to your feeling better and eating better. - these feelings will pass....

horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2018:
You are going to be ok - get rid of the cakes.

Please focus on you a little more - the trip I'd have a hard time also - burning a lot of calories being out and on the trip and walking around and socializing. - maybe next time seriously bring a snack for if you get hungry ?

But please concentrate on you now - do something for you and try to get back to your routine ....

I def see where you are coming from with our son and I am very sure it's difficult but instead of being so sad - try to connect his training and being away with being happy ....for him

Donkey on 01/29/2018:
The cake has been moved to another room. I should have thrown it out. I think tomorrow I will do that. Everyone but me has forgotten it.

I do think of him every morning as I struggle to get out of bed early so that I can workout. I know he has to be up at 4:45a. I struggle at 5:30a! And I get to sit on my bike, watch TV, and have a cup of coffee! -- Not exactly an accurate connection :-)

horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2018:
regarding your other comments to my entries, i think REST days are ok...just wish that we had more days off to do that haha....always things to do, even myself LOL.

Donkey - Saturday Jan 27, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.5

Gained 2.5 pounds. Not happy.

Taking a road trip today to see my daughter perform with the high school band at the state competition later this morning. It is sure to delight!

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/27/2018:
Have fun today!

Donkey on 01/27/2018:
It was wonderful! It took more of the day than I had expected, but the music was wonderful. My daughter's group did really well! And it was nice to spend time with my husband and my daughter, before she leaves us soon too...

Maria7 on 01/28/2018:
Try not to stress about the gain during this winter season. You've come a long way.

Donkey - Wednesday Jan 24, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.0

Went back to work, although I was still feeling like a Zombie...  My heart wasn't really in it, which REALLY helped me keep a PROPER and HEALTHY distance from my involvement in the files.  Also, not having my heart into my work helped me appreciate what my co-worker did while I was away, as she covered my emails.

It was so dead last week, but the 2 days I was out, it was like crazy-busy, and everyone wanted everything NOW.  Seriously, people -- it's real estate.  It's not a trial, where your personal freedom is at stake.  It's not surgery where your health/life is at stake.  I felt so bad for my co-worker, even though she was one of the backstabbers in December.  So a couple of things I said to her, that I think helped:

  1. "While we don't do it this way, you had a difficult situation and you made the best of it.  And the important thing is that we close the deal, and you've made that happen."  AND
  2. "I'm so sorry it was crazy like that.  I swear it was so slow last week, I honestly didn't think there would be many issues for you to handle while I was gone.  You did so well - thank you!"

This is awful to say, but it seems that in order to keep my sanity, I have to be less invested in producing a better work product.  Otherwise, I get so uptight, upset, and stressed, so that while it's done correctly, I'm a mess and nobody likes me.  That sucks.

Anyway, trying to be more intuitive at dinner.  Must work on eating slower, I think.  I think that will help me eat less.  Trying to stay away from the leftover chocolate cake.  I didn't do so well yesterday.  Had 3 small slivers after dinner, even though I wrote about the cake here in DD right before dinner.  Tonight, made myself a cup of decaf.  That will hold me.

Goals Progress:  I bought my next color for my hair.  January was "dark brown", and the next box is "soft black".  Still sticking to a dress pallet of navy, black, and gray -- makes getting dressed in the morning SO much quicker and easier.  Keeping up with my daily Gratitude diary.

But I need to add a temporary goal for the end of this month and February, to stay at 128-ish and not let the stress and sadness overcome me and creep back into the 130s.

Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/24/2018:
"This is awful to say, but it seems that in order to keep my sanity, I have to be less invested in producing a better work product. Otherwise, I get so uptight, upset, and stressed, so that while it's done correctly, I'm a mess and nobody likes me. That sucks."

I know exactly how you feel... but a company rarely has more than one badly done deal/project in them. The second one kills it.

Do you ever read fail blogs?

bearcountrygg on 01/25/2018:
I'm glad that you were able to praise your co worker......hopefully that changes both of your feeling towards each other...the work environment is so important.....and we all need all of the allies we an get.....makes going to work a lot easier. Also it does help adjustment when kids leave home to remember that they are starting a whole new life of being adults and it's exciting and scary for them too....and one day.......you and hubby will have the entire house to yourself...and that's a GOOD THING!!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 01/25/2018:
one thing - on the things you said to your coworker...you said "i'm so sorry it was busy"...well it's NOT your fault. try not to apolgize for anything that isn't your fault...keep confidence....maybe talk more later. :) welcome back to work. now it's time for you to take care of you, now that your son is away. and write him. you can even write him while you are at work and mail from work - if this is more convenient for you. short letters. tell him to keep his head up and the first part of the training i believe is the hardest, mentally.

Donkey - Tuesday Jan 23, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.0

Today was the Big Good-Bye... to my son.  I know he'll have a tough 6 weeks ahead of him.  The house seems so empty without him...

So YES, I did take care of myself today, and did not go into work, even though I could have gone in for half a day.  Instead, I let myself just relax and settle into the quietness of the day.  My husband took a long nap; my daughter had to work.  So I watched TV, did some crosswords, rode my stationary bike...

Last night, I did resist the leftover chocolate cake and Oreo ice cream we had from Sunday's dinner, but I did not do so well with dinner itself, eating too much spaghetti with meat sauce.  I curbed my desire for dessert with a cup of decaf coffee with flavored creamer.

A couple of folks here have talked about looking forward to gummy vitamin supplements as a "treat" -- oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one!!!  In the morning, after I exercise, I have 2 gummies for hair/skin/nails.  At night, I take 2  fruit-flavored Tums (for calcium) and 2 melatonin gummies.  Sometimes I REALLY look forward to these "treats".   I also take glucosamine tablets, one in the morning and one at night, but those are swallowed whole, so that's not a treat.  I thought the glucosamine would help with my knee/back/hips, but I can't say that I've noticed much improvement or change.

Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/24/2018:
Have you tried turmeric capsules for the joint pain....that is really helping us. They are't any fun...but less pain is a lot of fun...LOL

Donkey on 01/24/2018:
I will keep that in mind. Thanks!

horn_of_plenty on 01/24/2018:
if possible, try to keep in touch with your son and tell him to stay mentally strong...to not give up on the 6 week training...i can't even imagine doing it now....my cardio i aim to improve starting NOW...even if just once a week, i'm walking on weekends and keeping in mind i need to start now, not later, even if now isn't multiple times a week....

anyways, i'm sure his training will be very tough, he must keep his head up especially at beginning where it's more a mental game.

Donkey on 01/24/2018:
I have a mailing address for him now, so I will be writing him letters on a regular basis. I was thinking of him this morning, as I struggled to get out of bed to workout. I thought of him at lunchtime when I was taking my walk. If he can do it, so can I.

Maria7 on 01/24/2018:
Good you got some rest.

Donkey on 01/24/2018:
Yes, good sleep is so important for me. Taking the melatonin helps me fall asleep easily. Maybe it's all mental :-)

Donkey - Monday Jan 22, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.0

Very hard...

Overindulged with a good-bye dinner on Saturday at the restaurant.  Had a mint fudge sundae for dessert, too.  Then last night, made a cake and had ice cream, too.

Now I find out that we're going out to breakfast before we take our son to the recruiter's office... which I agree with, so that we're not worrying about lunch during all of this.

I've got some things going on hormonally -- cycle is way off, skin is breaking out. Probably stress...  Just have to get through this day, this week... 

Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2018:
lady, you must find it hard to part with your son. this will pass and when he is at training, make sure to take the steps to get back on track...this is why.

i'm sure you are very stressed about your son leaving for training. remember you need to take care of YOU....i think what might have been doing on is your wanting to take good care of your son and you stopped thinking about you...also, if you are indulging in cakes, maybe next time do not make cake? unless your family really wants it...lol...

Donkey on 01/22/2018:
Oh I wanted him to know how much we celebrate him in our lives.... Trying to stay away from the desserts tonight.

horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2018:
or have one slice and throw the rest of the cake away that nobody eats right away....or give cake away at work...the rest of it.

Donkey on 01/23/2018:
We might end up throwing away the rest of the cake...

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
I feel so bad for you, as parents...we raise our kids to someday be adults...and when it happens it shocks us...somehow we feel that maybe we aren't done raising them yet...BUT...He thinks you did a terrific job!!! Thinking of you...I've been there...and we all survived.

Donkey on 01/23/2018:
I'm wondering why my friends who have dropped off their kids to college didn't warn me how hard it is :-)

horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2018:
I really agree with bcgg

horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2018:
Yeah throw it out - it's not gonna benefit you now

Donkey - Saturday Jan 20, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.0

I seem to be stuck at this number...

This is the last weekend with our son before he leaves for boot camp.  Monday is the day we take him.  Tuesday he departs.

Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/20/2018:

Maria7 on 01/21/2018:
Hope you are having a good day.

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
Hugs......but he is doing what he wants to do....and you can be happy for him even though you hate to have him go so far.

horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2018:
gooooood luck to your son, this is exciting times. tell him to stay positive and focused! tell him to push through and to know it's hard but to keep on!

maybe once your son is gone you can go lower. how tall are you?

Donkey - Sunday Jan 14, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.0

Had a lot planned to do this weekend, as far as working around the house, and it seems as though mopping  up the floor is just now too much for my back to handle.  So I spent about 30 minutes icing my back and now will rest for the remainder of the day.

I had the planned the following:

  1. Clean all 4 toilets in the house.
  2. Mop basement floor
  3. Sort through and dispose of leftover latex paint -- according to environmental guidelines 

This is what actually happened:

  1. Toilets did not get done at all.
  2. Finished.
  3. Incomplete:  TOTALLY OVERWHELMING.  There are an unanticipated total of 30 -- THIRTY -- cans of paint that have to be dealt with!!!  7 of them are practically empty so I can deal with them. 16 have too much paint in them to dry up quickly, so I'm trying to see if the drama department at the high school wants them.  Otherwise, the fuller cans, I will see if I can give away online and the others I will have to dry out the paint.  5 cans I'm keeping for the next owners.  2 are undecided.

Oh I just realized there is ONE MORE can of paint in the basement that didn't get brought up.  THIRTY-ONE CANS OF FREAKING PAINT!!!!

This is making me feel very anxious...

Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/14/2018:
Do you have a cat? I think you can dump kitty litter or even sand or sawdust in them...I think that is what we did....or...I believe Michigan has sites or maybe it is counties..have sites that take paint ( possibly 2 times a year) and they use it in county offices..you can probably call your county about that....we had about the same amount of cans to get rid of...we did leave a couple that we had used recently for the buyer....this house interior is 100% pine boards..wall, ceilings etc...so no more painting for us...hope you can get rid of it all!

Maria7 on 01/15/2018:
Hope you feel better.

horn_of_plenty on 01/15/2018:
Oh.....the hamster was left in my apt bc I was literally back and forth with my dad everyday so I just gave it extra food at first bc I didn't know how long I'd be away and the water gets changed only 1x per week

horn_of_plenty on 01/15/2018:
Backaches are like the #1 pain producer for folks- your back pain may also be telling you to relax as you are :)

My dad was complaining his back hurt this weekend - but was still exercising - his pain mustn't have been very minimal.

horn_of_plenty on 01/15/2018:
I mean his pain must have !!!! iPhone typos

Maria7 on 01/19/2018:
Hope you have a good day.

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