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Donkey - Monday Jun 04, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I woke up this morning feeling extremely anxious about my files at work.  This set up my whole day for an epic fail.

My one co-worker, who has been an assistant to our associate attorney --- yes the one who stabbed me in the back --- for many years has decided today to start dictating what happens with that attorney's files.  So rather than just forwarding the email to me to address, she sends it to our stupid intake assistant (the one who makes a million mistakes on every file she touches) to handle. 

I told her, please do not have (Mistakes Girl) send out anything.  Let's try to keep people working on a file to a minimum.  It's bad enough that they're sending her settlement statements and closing confirmations.  

Then she decides that she'll start preparing closing documents --- just out of the blue.  No, please check with Male Co-Worker to make sure he's on board with that, because otherwise, he won't know what the hell is going on with the file when he gets it from me.  

And on and on and on....  Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive, but we have a system, and she's not really following it.  And that's a problelm for me, because I need to know what's going on with the file.  I know Male Co-Worker doesn't care who does the work -- the less work he has to do, the better -- especially if it's not him.  I just feel completely overtaken or trounced on by this assistant.

One added benefit of all this angst and anxiety:  I took a longer walk at work, and I sure didn't feel like eating much today.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/04/2018:
Hugs!!! Hope tomorrow is better.

Donkey on 06/05/2018:
It was a MUCH better day - thank you!

horn_of_plenty on 06/05/2018:
some folks get away with murder in the office. in the new office i'm in, this one woman is soooo spoiled. she can be so rude on the phone and demanding, and people take it. some can do it i guess. and this one is only 28. she's spoiled i believe.

Donkey on 06/05/2018:
Yes! I'll write more about my light-bulb moment in my own entry, but pretty much a parallel example.

Maria7 on 06/05/2018:
So sorry you are going through this. Good on getting in the extra walking. :-)

Donkey on 06/05/2018:
Thank you - now that I have some insight & awareness, I can do better... and I will do my best to do better.

Donkey - Sunday Jun 03, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I mentioned the volunteering to my son and he was quite receptive to it (surprisingly to me).  Now let's see if he has the motivation to do something about it.  Getting started is the hard part.  I want him to do this on his own, not have me walk him through it.  He mentioned that one of his instructors had mentioned about volunteering with dogs as a way to prepare himself, if being a dog handler is what he wants to do.

I was reading some posts in the groups on the FitBit boards.  One guy was showing off (deservedly so) that he reached a personal best of over 100,000 steps in a day.  He mentioned that he can easily get 60+ just at work, and that he can run 4 miles in like 25 minutes.  Presuming he's telling the truth, and not clipping his FB to his dog, it got me thinking about how sedentary I am at my job.  I know that when I buckle down to get emails cleared out, I can easily lose an hour or 2 of any activity.  I started increasing my activity at work by printing at another printer that I have to walk more steps to than the one that I share with the attorney.  I've also broken up print jobs, so that I print documents on the printers at opposite ends of the office.  I take the mail out, I try to bring the mail in.  I'll go downstairs to get something out of the refrigerator in the conference room.

If not for my efforts, I would not get in many steps at all!  Yuck!

In my search for low-carb success, I came across a keto page through Facebook.  I've been looking for a NO CALORIE sugar substitute.  I love my saccharine (Sweet n Low) but I know that stuff is not good for you.  And I don't like agave, which still has calories.  And I cannot stand the taste of stevia -- way too bitter.

Anyway, I've been looking into sugar alcohols, and the keto page had receipies for Swerve, so I ordered some (to fill out an Amazon purchase), and I have to say... I don't like it enough to order it agan.  It was quite expensive for what I got.  It's not quite as sweet as sugar, so I have to use more of it.

And I haven't experienced the laxative effect that some folks have with using sugar alcohols.  Either I'm not using enough of it (no, thanks) or I have a very stubborn GI tract.  Not that I was looking for a laxative, but I appreciate anything that helps things move along smoother, if you know what I mean.

So I'll use it all up, but I'm still looking.  


Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/03/2018:
That's great that your son is interested in working with dogs. 100,000is amazing.....I am quite sedentary too.....even when I worked on my feet and climbed rolling ladders all day...I don't think I could have gotten 10,000

happy-1 on 06/03/2018:
Being a dog handler would be amazing.

bearcountrygg on 06/04/2018:
D's a diabetic...and his dr told him to use erythritol...I get it on amazon...( not sure if that is what swerve is or not)...but he likes it a lot.

Donkey on 06/04/2018:
Swerve is erythritol. I guess I just don't have the taste buds for it. Or maybe I need to try another brand.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/04/2018:
I have also heard good things about erythritol. as you know, i use stevia for now bc i like to have my sweetener usually in liquid form which is one of the ways stevia is sold.

i hope your son can do it on his own to set up the volunteering...if for some reason he doesn't i do think you'd have to go with him when is conveninent for you but i do agree that you should just try to motivate him with words and talk at home, before you actually and hopefully don't have to go with him...

100,000 steps is huge. he must have been traveling or touring!

Donkey - Saturday Jun 02, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I can't believe I'm about to write this, but I was actually praying last night for a weigh-in under 130 this morning.  Such things are vaniety!  And that's really not what praying is for!  So I guess what I really meant is that I was praying for a little encouragement -- or at least asking for less discouragement, after the kind of week that I had at work.  My prayers were answered, LOL...

I plan to relax this weekend.  I have nothing on the agenda -- and as you may recall, this is kind of dangerous for me, because when I don't have anything to do, then I tend to get into trouble with eating too much. I'd like to get some outside walking in and I'd like to take my son shopping at the thrift store to pick up some shorts.

A few things to update on, that are not weight-loss related, but kind of are because I'm a stress-eater:

  • Last night, I had to get a little tough with my son, because he seems to be stuck.  He hasn't found a job yet, and aside from applying online, I don't think he's made much of an effort.  He needs to get out of the house!  So, since one of the things he mentioned wanting to do in the Air Force is being a dog handler, I would like to propose that he approach a couple of local animal shelters to volunteer as a dog walker.  I know it's not a job, but it will satisfy the immediate need for him to get out and be with other people, it will be an opportunity to see if dog handler is something he really wants to do (or rather, determine if it's something he doesn't want to explore), and it may open other doors for him.  
  • At least for now, I have accomplished my fingernail goals:  no biting, nicely manicured (by me, so not really all that "nice") with the shape and length I like.  My life didn't magically change with well-groomed nails, but at least it's one less thing to be down about.
  • I approached my husband with doing a 5-year plan, and he whipped out a 3-year plan in about 10 minutes.  Not exactly what I had in mind, but it helped me realize that the next 3 to 5 years will depend on some decisions by third-parties, i.e. out of our control, that will happen this year, financially.  In the meantime, we're making improvements to the house in anticipation of definitely moving within the next 3-5 years, once the kids have figured out their next steps.  

More to come...

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/02/2018:
YEAH>…..look at you......GREAT job making that prayer come true!!!!

I totally agree...tough love is in order. Our oldest got 2 football scholarships but chose not to use them. His best friend was going off to college in the fall.....right after sons high school graduation...he informed us he was taking the summer off before starting work...I thought D was going to have a stroke!!!!!!! he told him that now he was an adult and he would not be getting anymore summers off...that he would be either going to college and working summers or going to work 12 months a year....son was quite surprised!!!! Said "OH"....and went to start his apprenticeship......After 13 years of summers off and working at jobs as he wanted to like helping on area farms and in a egg factory...he figured the summer vacation thing was just going to continue. He started his carpenter apprenticeship...and moved out when he got engaged...he was 20 or 21 then. I also had all of the kids start doing their own laundry between the ages of 12 and 15. Since he is a legal adult...if he isn't paying you room and board...he can also be responsible for things like lawn, landscaping, snow shoveling etc...the older he gets and the longer he just lays around the house...the more entitled he will get.....he's a man now. We raised a couple of boys...and we had to teach them the ropes about adulthood....they don't always understand or want to do it all themselves...

Donkey on 06/03/2018:
Oh yes, he's definitely helping me out with stuff around the house. But I was firm that this is not a free ride.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/03/2018:
i do agree that it's best for your son to get out of the house and get out and work or volunteer (he can easily do both especially if at first he finds part time work...)....can you ask him to apply at stores / sales so he just starts working and sees how it is to have to be somewhere and stick to a schedule.

i do hope he's still exercising and he might way to look at what is required fitness wise for what he wants to do so he isn't ill prepared (like i was).

i also crave weekends to relax after lots of activity and social events! i hope you enjoyed relaxing. it's something we do need, as i always agree with you especially if you are a person who enjoys your quiet time! that is important!

Donkey - Thursday May 31, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I do not know how anyone can say that they really love and appreciate the work that I do for their clients and then turn around and say, "I know she can be unaccessable or crabby sometimes..."  WHAT?!?  OMG... Well, fire me then, so that I can collect unemployment.  My male co-worker says that I can't really let these things bother me.  They've all happened to him and then are forgiven.  Whatever.  I'm unaccessable because the client needs to speak with an attorney and they are out, shopping, at the law library, having lunch at the title company, having lunch with the family, running errands, etc.  If I sound crabby, well... I push.   I push to get things done.  Clients may not like that but I do what it takes to get the deal done.  I'm not a counselor, I'm not an attorney, I'm not a fairy godmother with a magic wand.

Came home, ate dinner, loaded up the dishwasher, walk around the yard with my son showing him spots for tomorrow's mowing that need attention.  Come back inside and it's 7:30p. 

I stayed up too late on Tuesday because we had to take Daughter to the ER -- for nothing.  Last night, the cat got all upset about a visting cat on our deck, so that woke me up at 3:27a.  Then I figured I should go outside and get my purse out of the locked car because someone might just break in.  Woke up EXHAUSTED.  So 2 days at work where I'm running on empty before I even get started.

In all this exhaustion and craziness, I'm finding it very hard to just eat my way through everything.  My male co-worker, who is under as much stress as I am, just grabbed a big bag of chips and started plowing right through it.  

Now it's time to get ready for bed. 

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
Grrr! Superwoman! I doubt very much that you are crabby or inaccessible. I think you would be a kick to hang out with!!!! You could come camping with me anytime.

I feel you on realizing you left something in the car that you can't live without and then being restless in the middle of the night because of it.

Good job making your son earn his keep by mowing. He can also play matchmaker... hook me and Molly up with any 40+ non-married vets, lol.

Donkey on 06/01/2018:

bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
Work....I guess that's why they call it work...…...sometimes you just can't make everyone happy...and everyone right now thinks they are a prince or princess and deserve extra special attention...….if the job gets done and you are happy with it then other peoples opinions are irrelevant.....you are there I'm guessing to do a job...not be the office happiness director...( no one has time to make EVERYONE happy.....)...Keep being yourself!!!!

Donkey on 06/01/2018:
Office Happiness Director - LOL!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/01/2018:
awww, agree with BCGG...it's work..

keep up the good work. on days when i'm tired, i am MUCH hungrier too. that's why i try to get sleep when i can.

i hope your daughter is ok? sound like she is :)

enjoy your weekend, it's here in a few hours for you.!!

i bet you were more tired due to houseguests...now you can decompress this weekend.

Donkey - Wednesday May 30, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I'm still here, just too busy lately, mostly trying to catch up at work from the shortened work week.

The cake is out of the refrigerator, so this is no longer an issue for me. I strongly suspect that it isn't completely gone, but out of sight.... well it's still on my mind, obviously! (LOL!!!)

Our houseguest, the boyfriend, left today. I did not have the opportunityto say good-bye last night as I had planned, so I ended up leaving him a post-it.

I've been eating more than usual lately, so I have no expectations for Saturday's with-in, but I'll keep trying. Most everything is in check, but my lunches have been larger and with more carbs.

I think I mentioned that they changed the taste of the protein powder I've been buying, so I no longer take shakes to work for second breakfast. Tastes yucky. But what to do with all that leftover powder? I have been adding a small scoop (1 Tbsp?) of the vanilla protein powder, thanks to happy's suggestion. It's delicious!

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
I hate that.... you find something you like and rely on it and they change it. You can probably return the unused portion of the protein powder, even if there is only half a bag left. Almost every grocery store takes back returns from unsatisfied customers. If you call or write the company they maybalso replace the product.

Donkey on 05/31/2018:
Heck no -- it tastes good in my oatmeal :-)

bearcountrygg on 05/30/2018:
That is the thing about protein powders...some are downright disgusting.....

Donkey on 05/31/2018:
I guess so. I didn't think I'd ever think that way, since I like most foods. But this stuff now -- same store, same brand -- not so good.

horn_of_plenty on 05/31/2018:
if you just despise it, throw it out.

you can offer it to your son.

i put the protein powder in my oatmeal to make it more satisfying and filling since oatmeal doesn't generally have much protein. i add extra sweetener (stevia as you know i use) bc i also don't love the taste of my protein powder...

now that bf has left, i think your eating will go more back to normal.

Donkey on 05/31/2018:
Probably. I was so tempted to look in the freezer on my way in from work to see if there was any cake left... I didn't though. Don't need to know... Don't WANT to know...

happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
I just realized my fav protein powder has sucralose... back to the drawing board to get rid of the fake sugars. debating whether to finish the bag or toss it.

Donkey - Monday May 28, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

Confession time:  I'm struggling with having this graduation cake in the house.

Yesterday, I had a large salad for breakfast at around 10am, and then cake at around 1pm.  And as I was finishing the cake, I said, this is the last of the cake for me.  This usually works, except that I had another piece last night after dinner.  The problem - for me - is that nobody likes the edge pieces because there is a lot of frosting, so those get left behind.  Well, that's the part that I LOVE..... and I wouldn't want to waste cake, that's like a crime against humanity.  

I may have "offset" some of the damage by having a very active day- over 20,000 steps per my FitBit, but I don't like to play to that mentality of "Oh I exercised so it's OK to eat (insert unhealthy food here)."  For me, that can lead to a self-defeating mindset and a slippery slope.

And here's the dumbest part -- the reasoning behind having cake last night was my drinking-water-during-dinner challenge - which is supposed to help me NOT eat more for dinner.  UGH!  I had only gotten in one glass of water during dinner, and had most of my second glass left.  What better way to finish my 2nd glass of water (per my challenge) than to have a piece of cake?  Right?  WRONG!

Anyway, I will pledge to do better today.  Personally, I think I'm having a hard time with the realization that my daughter is growing up and will be leaving us (me) behind soon.  And so if there's still cake to eat, then the graduation isn't really over, and I don't have to deal with reality. 

On the other hand, we have our 20 year old son who I think, left to his own devices, would be living in our basement until he's 40.  Ah, he's still working on getting back into the Air Force - fingers crossed - and if that works out the way it SHOULD, he'll be gone next year as well.  He just needs to get out more.  Once he finds a job, then he will start having his own life back again.  Right now, he's working out and then hanging out at home ALL the time.  Daughter (and the boyfriend, who is here until Wednesday) works and goes out; she's seldom home. 

*sigh* I will do better today.

AFTERNOON EDIT: Logging in so that I'm SURE I don't partake of any more cake... The struggle is real.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

graindart on 05/28/2018:
Dump the cake in the trash can.

That's the only thing that would keep me from eating it daily until it's gone. Oh, and I'd have to take the trash bag to the dumpster, otherwise I might still be tempted to grab a fork and eat the middle section that "hadn't touched the other garbage".

(only partially kidding about being tempted to eat out of the garbage can)

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
I should but it's not my cake. My husband said to everyone to eat as much of it (the cake) today, meaning it's leaving the refrigerator. I said after today, it's going in the freezer for a later date.

Being in the freezer normally wouldn't stop me, but it might be enough for now.

bearcountrygg on 05/28/2018:
I remember once a lady saying that she had to take a container of ice cream outside and pour dirt from her flower bed on it....

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
I believe it. I confess that I could totally relate to Gains' kidding comment about eating stuff that had been thrown in the garbage. Yep.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2018:
I'm glad your son IS working out! and good luck to him...i agree it would be helpful for him to be working now too...it'll keep him from struggling at home as we all do when not supporting ourselves....i think?

i'm glad there's a way he can still get back in!

i was tempted by a boatload of desserts yesterday and so proud of myself for not finishing either and only trying a few bites. so instead of being very off track, i'm getting back ;)

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
Yes, you are 100% right. Sometimes I get impatient and lose proper perspective.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2018:
lol you are funny with the cake. i wouldn't be happy with it in my house either!

Donkey on 05/28/2018:

Horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2018:
One more thing, great job this week with the company in your house and lately all the wonderful events like your daughter's graduation!

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
Thank you!!!

happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
U need to save that cake just for Queen Bee. She should be fatter.

happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
And you should bring the cake to work or toss it to protect your family. If there was a bear in the house you wouldn't think twice about getting THAT out!!!!

Donkey - Sunday May 27, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

Way too many leftovers in the refrigerator...  I'd been craving a fresh salad, but you can't have salad for breakfast, can you?  Well, I waited to have a later breakfast at almost 10a, and had salad.

I wanted to add that after we finished up the cake and ice cream from the graduation party, I had a 13 hour fast.  I was feeling "munchy" at around 7pm but wasn't really hungry. Just wanted to eat out of habit.  So I waited until 8pm, and was still feeling "munchy" but not hungry.  Made plans to go to bed instead.  So hopefully that helped balance calories out.  My fingers were too swollen to wear my wedding band this morning though, which is probably due to the extra salt from eating out yesterday (French dip) and the humid weather.

Went for a walk outside at around 11am.  After about 20 minutes, the bright sun and humidty started to get to me.  I'm probably staying in, now, until this evening.  Or at least until there is more shade outside.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/27/2018:
Good planning and good carrying out those plans!!!!

happy-1 on 05/27/2018:
I always substitute potatoes or toast with salad when I get breakfast out.

graindart on 05/28/2018:
Since I've been doing one-meal-a-day for the past 6 or 7 weeks, I've become pretty used to going 20 hours without food and then eating my food during a 4 hour window. I do drink zero calorie drinks throughout the day, but haven't had any major problem with OMAD.

Donkey - Saturday May 26, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

Up half a pound but as long as I'm under 130, I consider it "happy maintenance land".  After today's graduation festivities for my daughter, though, I'm not so sure what next week will bring.  Kind of a heavy lunch of French dip sandwich and then a large piece of cake to celebrate.

It was a wonderful day, and I'm so proud of my daughter.  She's not sure what her next step will be -- although she's fairly certain that it won't be in Illinois -- but I'd rather she take a little time to figure it out than to rush into something that she's not ready for or not really interested in.  

Decided not to drive to continue the visiting with our out-of-town guests as I think everyone is very tired and very full and would just like to relax.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/26/2018:
Big changes as kids graduate...….you guys are becoming empty nesters...and while it feels strange....it is actually a lot of fun...life does get easier.....and cheaper...LOL

happy-1 on 05/26/2018:
Aaaaaaaw momma bear!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/27/2018:
In the photos, your daughter looks so happy!

Glad you all had a great day and that you are relaxing a bit. It's important to be able to have a little down time here and there especially if that's what you enjoy! That's how I'm doing it as of late :) Busy days but time to recoop here and there also. Keeps me happy and the stress lower.

Donkey - Thursday May 24, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

One more thing to add to my list of things that one should not eat in large quantities:

  1. Cashews
  2. Cheese
  3. Steamed Kale - *new*

I wonder if I will regret this as items #1 and #2...  Tomorrow will tell. 


So this was at 3:30p and husband grilled a delicious dinner with a nice big salad and fruit salad.  And I was so full from the kale :-( that it was hard to partake much less eat.  But I did have a piece of meat and some salad.  Why did I eat if I wasn't hungry, you might ask?  I dunno, says Donkey.  A couple of reasons:

  1. The boyfriend joined us for dinner -- He doesn't always join us when my daughter is at work, but tonight he did.
  2. My husband worked really hard to make a nice dinner and I KNOW that he would have felt bad if I didn't eat anything.

And right now, I'm comfortably full.  It was a struggle to get in the 2 cups of water, though...  Today I did not do as well with the water, unless I lost count.  Sometimes I do that, especially when I'm at work, and I just fill up my water bottle but don't log it in FitBit right away.  

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/24/2018:
Too many cashews give us belly aches....don't know about the kale

horn_of_plenty on 05/25/2018:
Kale is really low cal...sometimes i eat a lot of veggies and even if full, i proceed to eat some protein/carbs after so it's balanced and i'm not hungry later...

Happy Friday...3day weekend!?

horn_of_plenty on 05/25/2018:
Kale is really low cal...sometimes i eat a lot of veggies and even if full, i proceed to eat some protein/carbs after so it's balanced and i'm not hungry later...

Happy Friday...3day weekend!?

graindart on 05/25/2018:
I can easily overeat cashews and any type of nut. I can down a whole can / bag at one sitting if I don't watch myself. Cheese is a bit different for me. I love it, but there's only so much quantity of it I want in one sitting. Kale is completely different for me. I don't remember a time where I've ever filled up on kale..... A few bites is usually more than enough for me.

I have been eating a large salad nightly (mostly lettuce with a light vinaigrette and few or no other toppings). The taste / texture of the salad is marginal, but feeling full on something does offer some satisfaction for me.

Donkey - Wednesday May 23, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Very quickly here because it's late... Had a brutally busy day at work, came home early, which for me means leaving away 5:15p because otherwise I would have stayed until 6p or 6:30p, rushed home, rushed through dinner (Subway), and then went to Senior Awards Night ... 2 gruelling hours on bleachers just to watch my daughter stand for 10 seconds with about 100 other kids. *sigh*

But I got my 2 cups of water at dinner!

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
Hugs. Slug it out cougar mom.

bearcountrygg on 05/24/2018:
The life of Parents!!!!! Been there....done that.....but how proud you must feel MOM!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
agreed, the life of a parent! congrats to your daughter!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
lately when these busy days are coming, i totally am taking vacation days around that time lol...so i don't miss workouts or have to be up hours on end...i will have to watch how fast i use my days though, since i want at least a week off come freezing winter lol to go escape to my friend's place in Miami as long as she's still living there!!!!! who knows, if she doesn't mind my visits, i'd escape 2x this coming winter...if only having to pay flight and not hotel.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
but also it's that i do NOT want to fall behind in exercise right now as this is the time of year where it's perfect for improvement. so, i'm doing what i have to in order to get the fitness in...even if it means those are my vacation days right now :) i do other things on those days too, so it's not a total waste...just a way to get done what i do enjoy.

well, tomorrow is FRIDAY :) yay!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
lol, Happy is on a site...Ugly Dating Guy !!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. for real!

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