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Donkey - Saturday Sep 08, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Today is not off to the best start. Bad weigh-in, the Ironman scale wasn't any kinder, registering at 131.6.

Discouraged... Frustrated... Angry.

Taking husband to the doctor this morning. Refrigerator comes late this afternoon. Life can start returning to normal.

It's frustrating when you do everything right and you gain weight.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

graindart on 09/08/2018:
I won't try to come up with reasons for the scale uptick, you know all the possibilities (water, salt, muscle gain, etc). It doesn't matter the reason, it just sucks.

Even though the scale number is discouraging, you still have the same exact 2 options. Stay on plan or fall off the wagon. Stay on plan and next weigh-in will probably be back down into the 120's again. Fall off the wagon and feel even more discouraged / frustrated / angry for additional weeks in a row.

Donkey on 09/08/2018:
Yes - THIS. No sense in wasting time in self-loathing or hating the scale. Forget all that negativity. Who needs that? NOT ME.

I've got to focus FORWARD on what I can do/change NOW -- not was or has been. I'm staying on plan, and my part of my plan for today and this week is to start working with weights again.

happy-1 on 09/08/2018:
You are working hard! If you are having a hard time sticking to your plan, maybe write it on paper and color it in green whenever you complete a square. Weirdly motivating to be able to do that. I swear I get so much satisfaction out of marking something green.

Donkey on 09/08/2018:
I've used this technique in the past for other situations. I don't know why I didn't think of doing it for this one. There is something terribly satisfying about checking off a box or filling in a square to see a visual pattern.

This might help me monitor better what works and what doesn't - rather than just writing down numbers on a calendar booklet.

Maria7 on 09/08/2018:
Could it be extra sodium? Happy for you over your refrigerator. :-)

Donkey on 09/09/2018:
It could be. My ring was tight.

The new refrigerator is completely overwhelming -- way too many features, functions, etc. --- so I'm still trying to figure it out. But it looks pretty- and it keeps the food cold, which is what is important.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2018:
take a deep breath about the weight gain...you need to consider the time of the month, sodium like Maria said, and all factors.

next, you will have to debate if you can make changes to keep weight lower if that's your wish.

good luck at dr and thank gosh the fridge is coming <3

keep your head up, do not be so angry with the scale...be true to yourself. see if there were things you didn't count, extra cheese, or something like that. the weight gain may not be from this week....when i'm eating more cals, the weight shows up like 2 weeks later.

Donkey on 09/09/2018:
It probably was some sodium, like Maria said, even though I don't like to admit it. Also, yes, hormones.

Like Gains said, I can choose to go off the deep end, or I can choose to stay on path. So anger will serve me not.

BearCountryGG on 09/09/2018:
No need to get angry...it's just a snapshot in time....it's not permanent…..that is why I only weigh in when I feel a difference...it keeps the disappointment away.

Donkey on 09/09/2018:
Yep, absolutely --- I had forgotten this. Thank you for the reminder. Breathe... breathe... breathe... :-)

Donkey - Friday Sep 07, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

What a week... and I still have to get through today.

There's been a lot of stress lately: work (of course), but also with my home life. My husband is completely stressed out and it is affecting many aspects of home.

Regretfully (?), I took this week off from weight training, although I caught myself 2x tempted to pick up the weights and do something. That MUST be a good sign.

So my focus this weekend is less stress.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 09/08/2018:
Hugs. You are a tough cookie. Remember to take time for self care. This was a good list of ideas on Pinterest: https://pin.it/3cdn2lchdimtba

I liked the coloring book idea.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2018:
it's ok to take breaks from weightlifting here and there :)

your husband needs a hobby at home, i think...

good job getting thru the week.

my weeks have been extra chaotic too....i'm going to have to say "no" to people soon...in terms of plans / activities / commitments so that my own goals are not negatively impacted due to being too tired & stressed to work out!

keep your head up. remember you are working and your husband is not...he needs to remember this, too.

Donkey - Wednesday Sep 05, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Yesterday was quite stressful. Very busy at work. I'm not sure having a day off for a holiday is really worth it.

They are making changes at the law firm to make Queen Bee the "face" of the firm. So I'm trying to keep everything positive and helpful, even though you know how repulsive this is to me.

Not having a real refrigerator is more stressful than I thought. I've cut up ALL of my raw vegetables and will keep them at work, bringing small portions home for my dinner. The broccoli and cauliflower heads were taking up a LOT of room in the coolers. Now that extra room can be filled with cold packs and ice bags.

I worked too hard, too long, and stayed up too late. I MUST set boundaries today for myself today & tonight to get rest. I skipped weights yesterday; I'm probably going to skip again today <<

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 09/05/2018:

graindart on 09/05/2018:
Good job on making it still work even without a refrigerator. I'd probably have just used it as an excuse to go off-plan and eat out at restaurants daily.

horn_of_plenty on 09/05/2018:
i'm glad the fridge thing worked out for yesterday and that you and your husband worked so well as a team :)

good job prepping despite lack of fridge at home...i'm glad you had the day off bc if you remember you needed a fridge! LOL...

proud of you.

let Queen B be the "face." you gotta better things to do ;)

happy-1 on 09/08/2018:
i had no fridge while my parents were doing Optifast... It was really hard. I had to keep food in my car in an ice chest. I found that wrapping coolers in that reflectix material that they make windshield screens really extended the ice a lot. 2 days or more.

Donkey - Monday Sep 03, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Well, so much for relaxing and sleeping this holiday. The refrigerator has died, pretty much. I was up at midnight moving food into coolers. Thank goodness we have an extra freezer in the garage to keep all of my lovely vegetables safe, as well as the meat that husband bought. Took me until after 3a to fall back asleep... grrrr... So today I will be shopping for a new refrigerator. I hope that husband and I can come to some sort of agreement on what to buy and how much to spend. Friends, believe me when I say that this is not on my list of fun things to do.


Apparently, we are the only ones whose refrigerator died.  The models in stock for next day delivery were few and far.  While we were waiting to see if they had a particular model in stock, I saw a couple walk up to the other salesperson, who said, in response to "Can I help you?":  Yes, we are looking for a refrigerator and we're buying TODAY.  LOL -- get in line sweetie!  

It turns out that the one that my husband and I could agree on was not in stock - of course, right?   I made the suggestion that we get a dorm sized refrigerator for just our immediate refrigeration needs now, and order the one that we really want, rather than just settling and not being happy.  It's something that I've wanted to do for a while - get a small refrigerator, probably for the basement or for daughter if she goes away to college.  It won't go to waste.

But one of the sweetest things my husband said to me as we were in the car was this:  "I don't know how you can be so calm about this.  I am totally stressed out."  Aww, this is why I love the guy.  We work together as a team.  This wasn't pleasant, but I was happy that he was there with me, and I think, from his comment, he was happy that I was with him, too.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/03/2018:
DANG! appliances...

How old is your fridge?

At least it is Labor Day, you will find a good sale, i am quite sure!...so sorry though!!!!

If you go for simple, you can save a lot of cash...maybe don't splurge too much on this fridge, so sorry.

at least you have the day to do it...i may go shopping, too, for some extra things if i have time.

Donkey on 09/03/2018:
It was 11 years old? But it had a manufacturer's defect from Day One. The ice maker was defective, causing the circuit panel to short out. Repeatedly. Disconnecting the ice maker was the only solution.

I will never buy another LG refrigerator - EVER.

graindart on 09/03/2018:
I hate the cost and craftsmanship of today's appliances. My grandparents had one set of appliances as long as I knew them. My parents had one set of appliances for 20+ years when I was growing up. My family and I have been in this house for 13 years and we've gone through a couple microwaves, couple dishwashers, and major surgery on a more expensive stove/oven setup. The fridge is still working, but the ice maker has been replaced and is still finicky. After having the same stove for 20+ years, my parents replaced it and the new one only lasted about 5 years before quitting. With as much as these appliances cost now, you'd think they'd last for more than a few years each.

Donkey on 09/03/2018:
AGREED. The saving graces were that there WAS a Labor Day sale on appliances this weekend AND the store we went to gives a 10% discount to veterans.

To continue along on your commentary, we're looking to replacing the dishwasher and microwave -- both which are hanging on by the grace of God -- and BOTH which are 11 years old :(

BearCountryGG on 09/03/2018:
Well...they just don't make things like they used too!!! That is right up there with a necessary evil.

Donkey on 09/03/2018:
Yep... But as I try to remind myself, It could have been worse. I'd rather take this over flooding or fire damage.

happy-1 on 09/05/2018:
hugs. that is awful... but bearable. a tiny fridge is a good idea... but maybe a friend has one to lend?

Donkey - Sunday Sep 02, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Not feeling 100% this morning, but I'm hopeful that this will change as the day progresses. FINALLY was able to reconcile my bathroom issues, but still feeling not so good.

The storms last night were so strong that the noise woke me up. So I'm completely ok with sleeping in a little later. I'll do my exercising and meet my activity/step counts, but otherwise I plan to relax.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/03/2018:
the storms did not reach us here in NYC area! Instead, we luckily got a weekend free of rain...which we both know has been difficult to achieve this summer :)

I'm glad the bathroom issues are resolved. i usually only get those issues during the week when i'm running around without enough downtime.

relaxing is good, i'm doing that now :)

BearCountryGG on 09/03/2018:
We had storms for days...probably the same ones that passed through your area.....several tornadoes around here.

Donkey - Saturday Sep 01, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

A good number to start off the month of September...  And my Ironman scale weighed me in at 128.8, which, for that scale, is probably an all-time low in the 10 years I've owned that scale.  I like this number; although it would be nice to say "I lost 60 pounds" if I weighed 126.5, my body might not like that number as much.  

Who knows, I've been having some bathroom issues -- or lack thereof -- so maybe I'm really AT 126.5.  Not sure what's going on .... this is day #2 (no pun intended) where there was no morning bathroom moment, even with adequate fiber, water, and a little additional help.  If nothing tomorrow morning, I'll get out the Metamucil. (yuck)

It is raining here today and is supposed to for most of the day.  I'm enjoying the peacefulness of the morning, while I do laundry.  Later, another trip to the library to pick up a book I requested.  I hope this one meets the expectations that the last book - that I was so excited about - failed to meet.  Laundry, etc.  Nothing special planned, unfortunately, but maybe that's a good thing, so that I am left to just relax in the "now", rather than to be focused on an activity or outing.  

My kids are having hard times right now.  My son is feeling awfully discouraged at working his retail job, feeling stuck until he can try out for the Air Force again.  My daughter was acting manager for a week and is exhausted and stressed out.  Maybe management isn't for her?  I don't know, I haven't had the opportunity to talk to either one of them, as I'm usually at work when they are awake and asleep when they get home :(

My husband has another medical evaluation on Friday with the VA hospital that is a scary drive for me.  I do not have to go, as my son will be off of work, but I kind of feel like I should be the one to take him.  I'm waiting to see if my boss will take next week off, for his annual fall vacation, or not.  Sometimes, when he goes on vacation, it's like a little vacation for me too, even though I'm still at work, LOL. 


AFTERNOON EDIT:  The rain has stopped and the sun has come out.  Wow, is it ever muggy! But I'm glad that it cleared up.  Our town is having their annual festival and the parade this morning was canceled due to lightening.  How disappointing for so many!  So at least now people can enjoy the rides, the food, and the entertainment.

No funnel cake for me, but instead, kind of inspired by Gains, I decided I would bake a cake today.  I have to do any baking now before I turn on the AC, which I might do tonight if this humidity keeps up.  Oh how I hate to do that...

I also did not stick to my plan and ignored weight training last night.  Out of a guilty conscience, I did upper body this afternoon.  However, I could not bear the thought of trying to lift heavier weights, so I just used the lighter 5 pound dumbbells and did a few sets.  But at least I did something, so I give myself some credit for that.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

graindart on 09/01/2018:
Congratulations on the scale number!

Donkey on 09/01/2018:
Thank you -- I think if I stayed here, +/- 0.5 pounds, I'd be a very happy camper :)

BearCountryGG on 09/01/2018:
Great scale....and at least the bathroom problem happened on a weekend with an extra day! I'm sure your daughters job will look a little different to her as time goes on...so much to learn in the beginning. How is your son doing practicing his exercise that was difficult? Can he do that now? Have a nice weekend.

Donkey on 09/01/2018:
Oh yes, still waiting for some bathroom magic to happen... oh dear...

I'm waiting to see if my daughter will be happier going back to her old position with associate responsibilities, rather than management. It might have been a shocker to do full-time work, including some day-shift. She usually works around 30 hours but it's almost always afternoon/evenings.

My son... oh my son. Well, he continues to work out at the gym on his own. At one point, he WAS at the point where he could do more than enough push-ups within a minute. However, I cannot say if he has managed to maintain this. I want to talk to him to see if he wants/needs to go back to working with a trainer.

I think he's just feeling stuck. And maybe a little lonely. With the Air Force, he felt like he was really making a significant contribution and doing something with his life. He also had teammates/friends. Now he's just kind of floating on his own. I understand his discouragement (and impatience?) at the moment.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/03/2018:
I need to offer advice to your son...

He is VERY young and flexible now. You MUST tell him this. Working retail is just for the money and experience. He should be at the gym, working out, getting stronger and able to do the requirements of the air force very easily by the time he applies. he should check if they provide recommneded workouts that he does to meet their requirements. this is what i'm doing for court officer now.

your son is young. has the energy to work retail and train.

he should be everything BUT discouraged.

he has you guys, a wonderful family, a roof over his head and you totally supporting him. remind him to stay positive. that EVERYTHING is within his reach.

only way to physically improve is to practice. after all, you are such a ROLE MODEL to him because you DO pursue fitness and weight goals.

there is nothing stopping your son but himself. he needs to keep on. and to make sure he's doing and training as necessary without overdoing it. bc overdoing can hurt progress too....

please make sure he sees that he is in a good position now!!!!!!!!! everything is positive. he has a job, for god's sake!

Donkey - Friday Aug 31, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I am so looking forward to this long weekend, because it means one less day at work. I just hope the weather doesn't get too hot.

I didn't do weights yesterday morning, so I kept reminding myself to do something in the evening -- which I did (legs). In looking back, I believe that this consistency, even when I really don't feel like it, has been the key to making this work.

Queen Bee is out of the office today, and that alone has increased the odds that this will be a great day by at least 50%.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

legcramps on 08/31/2018:
Have a fantastic long weekend :) I hope you catch up on rest at some point. You are craving sweets; I am craving pizza. Like, really bad.

Donkey on 09/01/2018:
Oh I've had pizza on my mind an awful lot these days as well ;)

BearCountryGG on 08/31/2018:
Nice weekend ahead...hope you enjoy it!

Donkey on 09/01/2018:
Got nothing planned that is special, but maybe that's OK too.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/01/2018:
trust me, it's one less day of work for you & most everyone else...so don't feel like you'll need extra catch up...everyone will be catching up!

lots of people out in my office yesterday too...but i went KNOWING it's a short day...and it was! it wasn't a day to miss...i'd rather take off a full day of work! ya know!? not take off when everyone else isn't even working a full day..i was able to leave yesterday at noon...best gift ever.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/01/2018:
i have plans...but wish they were a hair less actually...i realize the importance of "less is more" lately and putting fitness even closer to my most important goal than it's been...looking to revamp still...and looking to make use of being able to relax on weekends like this one.

Donkey - Thursday Aug 30, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

This was a very odd-feeling day. When I woke up this morning, I was exhausted. I felt as though I was in the middle of the deepest sleep and then awakened abruptly.

This feeling of fatigue lasted through most of the morning. I even entertained the idea of going home early... but whenever I think this, I convince myself to hang in there, because it's much harder to catch up.

Last night - very much so - and tonight, somewhat, I had urges to eat desserts. LOTS of dessert. Last night I satisfied this with a number of dark chocolate chips and a cup of decaf. (I did not count how many but I would say 70 to 100 calories worth). Tonight I did the same but had about 10 chips, which is 70 calories.

Then I was ok. Donkey was ok. Donkey will be ok. I just have to get through this week and this weigh-in.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/01/2018:
i think the tired feeling was just that, being tired. we all have times when we can use a little more rest, def my own opinion based on my experiences!

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 29, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

I dreamed about the file with the client I hung up on Monday. I woke up worrying about the file. It's supposed to be my file but one of my coworkers seems to be taking it over. It's an ongoing struggle with this coworker to respect boundaries and keep her off my files... But in this case, I'm thinking it would be better for all if I left this one go. After all, I am not rewarded at work for doing more or making these sorts of sacrifices. I get paid the same, whether I do more or less. So why not do less -- especially if it affects my peace of mind.

If my focus is to be on my own happiness, I must be aware of what I need to let go...

I've caught myself a couple of times this week - so far - making bad food choices (baked potato at dinner, ice cream from McDonald's from the title company...), not sure how this week's weigh in will go...

And now my husband says I'm crabby this morning, lol...

Definitely time to refocus on what's important.


Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

graindart on 08/29/2018:
I hate when I wake up feeling "stressed" because I was dreaming of work stuff.

The McDonald's drive-thru has been my go-to place for getting ice cream cones for the past few months. Instead of feeling like a nice occasional treat, they tend trigger my desire for more sugar.

legcramps on 08/29/2018:
Loved Call the Midwife! I've watched them all!

I agree that you don't need to do anything more if you feel it is stressing you out or there is a lot of negativity surrounding it. If you don't have to work on this particular file, just let it go.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/29/2018:
YES...great idea to let this one file go!

a baked potato is far from the worst choice, you J-Donkey!

ice cream...well, thank gosh i have my light stuff! haha...i bet it was good, did you stick with a serving/portion?

ignore husband's words...try not to let it make you crabbier...when people tell you "oh, you look tired today!" - we tend to hound on the fact they said it and it can affect your day and actually cause you to feel even more tired...same with the husband and the "crabby" scenario. i read this...mind games!

Refocus on you. let some things go..as you said...

Donkey - Tuesday Aug 28, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

Hung up on a caller and got into an argument with my mail coworker.

Yes, it was a full day...

EVENING EDIT: I finally made a doctor's appointment as a new patient, with new insurance. I'll be seeing the doctor in January 18th, LOL...

Staying away from coworkers. Toxic people at it again. The best thing for me to do is be happy.

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2018:
Wowwww....it's gotta take a LOT for you to hang up on people and argue....hmmm....do tell!

BearCountryGG on 08/28/2018:

BearCountryGG on 08/28/2018:
New patients get no respect...LOL.....and yes...be happy!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2018:
proud of you for getting it done and getting an appt and new dr...i should make some new appts soon, too.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2018:
lately i go out to lunch with this female coworker, tho i am def more comfortable just taking it alone! sometimes it's best just to do your own thing if that's how you become more happy / satisfied to do your job. my opinion!

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