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Donkey - Sunday Sep 18, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 166.0

I have officially crossed the 20lb weight loss mark.

I am already starting to think ahead to the holidays, trying to figure out how I'm going to handle the extra food.  The month of December is particularly brutal:  work Christmas party, family Christmas party, anniversary dinner, New Year's Eve party and New Year Day's dinner.  Throw in the random possibility of a church or friend Christmas get-together too.  Consistently, in the past, I've gotten so sick of eating by New Year's Eve, but that doesn't mean I still don't celebrate.

The anxiety of my money/house problems has dispersed a bit.  Now I'm starting to focus on needing to find a job that has insurance -- I guess because I got tired of worrying about the house, LOL.  Walking sure does help with stress. 

The hardest part will come in November when day light savings time ends and we change the clocks.  Very hard to remain motivated when faced with the cold and dark.

Progress as of today: 20.5 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 09/19/2016:
Congratulations on 20 lbs lost! Best wishes on finding job with insurance. Sounds like a plan!!

grannyannie on 09/19/2016:

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/19/2016:
OMG congrats! 20lbs is a major success! you must be thrilled.

for the holidays, i HIGHLY recommend having tons of veggie sides, extra, so you can overeat without really hugely a damage to calories. that's my plan, actually...have the veggies ready with the meal. take portions of everything, but the extras only from veggies. don't have dessert aside from tea with equal...that's my suggestion & fruit.


I agree it's harder with less light. I tend to get a little depressed too.

The most important thing, for both of us, is to keep a positive focus. No matter how bad things are, we must see the LIGHT. We must continue to push ourselves to be our best. This is what i'm thinking too. On my way to work, i saw so much sadness during my drive (homeless asking for money as they walk on the street while we are at the red lights!!!, a child severely handicapped in a wheelchair getting picked up by a special needs schoolbus with a ramp and unable to take care of herself...so much sadness that i cannot even comprehend. I realized not to even worry about being 5 min late to work....there's so many more challenges and worries this world has. I am thankful and for that i am happy.

Donkey - Sunday Sep 11, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 167.5

Only 2 more pounds before I'm at the 20lb weight loss mark!

I was thinking about how glad I am that I've committed to losing the extra unhealthy weight that I gained while I was in paralegal school and then from my first job as a litigation paralegal, and then the extra weight I put on from my current job as a real estate paralegal.  When I last changed jobs 3.5 years ago, I took less pay and no benefits in exchange for a very short commute.  So I had a few goals for myself:   1) lose the extra weight and 2) work on speaking Spanish better, and 3) learn Quickbooks.  Well, one out of 3 so far....

I made a goal for myself to do better with the monthly budgeting.  I fell off the wagon in June so it's time to get back on.  This has been a struggle for me though.  Just too much to think about, but I can't be an ostrich when it comes to money matters -- as much as I would like to.  Unfortunately, it's one of the major stressors in my life right now that is totally stressing me out but I can't ignore it.


Progress as of today: 19 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 09/11/2016:
Congratulations - 20 lbs (almost) is great! Finances can be a big stressor. Are you thinking about taking a different job again, or is there potential for raises at your current job? I have recently retired, but would love to come up with a way to earn from home or working only a day or two a week to ease the cash flow a bit. Could you moonlight doing paralegal stuff on an as needed basis?

Horn_of_plenty on 09/12/2016:
Congrats so much with your success! 20lbs is huge! Amazing job to you. You did it because you wanted it.

I am sorry the financial stuff is not working out the way you want it to or as fast as you'd like it to. My suggestion is to take it slow - small goals that you know can be achieved.

im71 on 09/12/2016:
Good Morning Donkey! Congratulations on your weight loss so far. As for the financial stuff, .... remember to always pay yourself first. Even if it's a very small amount. I always told my sons to save 10% of their money, whether it be wages, allowance, gifts etc. Then forget they had it as far as it being available for use. There are 6 of them and some took my advice and some didn't. The ones who did, are now very wealthy. The ones who didn't aren't so well off financially but are doing better than in their younger years as their children are now grown and not dependent on them. I think you've accomplished the most difficult of your goals. LOSING WEIGHT! Many congratulations on that! I'm betting you'll accomplish the other goals as well. Have a great day!

Donkey - Saturday Sep 03, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 170.5

I should probably log in more than once a week.  I want to comment on people's entries, but I'm so far behind it feels overwhelming.  Please know though that if you comment on your entry after I post weekly, I do read :-)

Down 1/2 pound in spite of an off week.  Weather curtailed my walking.  Did not always practice moderation or the best food choices.  But mostly stayed on track, and that's the key.

The wedding (anniversary celebration, actually - 25 years together) was wonderful.  Much more Spanish than I thought there would be but I understood a lot more of what was being said than I thought.  The food was delicious!  And I was fine with no alcohol (more about this below).  There was minimal dancing, but for the religious reasons of the bride and groom, it was kept to a minimum.  We left as the dancing started.  We're not much on dancing, and with my husband's illnesses and physical limitations, he was ready to go home and rest.  I was fine with that because the rest of my table (co-workers) left at that time as well.

About alcohol:  I have been sober for quite some time.  The last drink I had was a 1/2 glass of wine (with ice because I have to have all of my drinks served cold) at a work-related party in late July.  Before then, I had stopped buying wine/beer -- since I think the end of June -- because frankly, I was adding $20+ to my grocery bill every week with booze.  I also found that when I have wine/beer/etc. in the house, I have a drink every night.  For me, I do not want that to be come a habit.  An occassional drink might be OK, but not nightly.  

No judgment on others -- just saying that this is not something I want for myself. 

So I have the last wine bottle in the cupboard with about 1 glass of white wine left in it. 

I'm hoping for a better work week and more focused on my walking.  I need to come up with a plan so that when it rains, I still get out there and walk.

Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

puddles on 09/03/2016:
Good luck for the week.

grannyannie on 09/04/2016:
Have a good week.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/06/2016:
I disagree that it matters what you should probably do...you say you should prob log on more than once a week but there's no rules! you do what you need to do for you Ju.

Congrats on another 1/2 lb lost - that's really great. I think I might be 1/2lb up after indulging. Def looking back to getting fully back on track. But i gotta say - indulging was quite fun. and laying off the gym was sorta necessary as i really did party quite bit & the extra rest helped....wait..i should be commenting about you stuff!....

I am SO glad that you enjoyed the party girlfriend. And that you left when you could & that it was fine.

Have a nice week.

hollybelle on 09/07/2016:
Good to see your post. I know what you mean I am about 3 years behind on posts - that's one of the great things about this site....we come and go, but it's so great to come back and see familiar people. I did the best lifestyle when I was posting regularly, but I probably can't post every day, so going to do the best I can....

Donkey - Saturday Aug 27, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 171.0

I do not like being busy on weekends, but alas, this is one of those busy weekends.  In addition to having 3 contracts to open (I brought the work home because I'd rather work at home than have to actually go into the office this weekend) and 1 file to update, one of my co-workers is having a huge 25th wedding anniversary vow-renewal ceremony tonight (Saturday) to which i've been invited (along with my family).  The problem is - in addition to taking most of my Saturday evening chill time - we'll be one of the few that speaks only English.  Everyone else speaks Spanish.  Oh well the music and food should be good.  No drinking and no dancing though.

Personally, this is not my kind of thing, with over 250 people invited.  I'd much rather be my introverted self and relax, but oh well.  So now I'm cramming in all of my stuff today in a shorter period of time because we have to leave around 3:30p.

So why am I logging into Diet Diaries and seemingly wasting precious time?  Because I just had to tell you all that I am down to 171.0 - WOOT!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Progress as of today: 15.5 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/27/2016:
I've pretty much reached the half-way mark!!!

puddles on 08/27/2016:
Congrats and make the most of your evening out.

OhioRaven on 08/27/2016:
Congratulations ! You Rock ! At the party, relax and have fun and nod politely to everyone speaking spanish.

Diamond50 on 08/28/2016:
Woot woot woot! Happy dance for you! Congrats on the loss! Hope you ended up having a good time at the party.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2016:
Sorry Donkey that you have to do something that you don't want to do. I really do understand because i'm the same as you. I don't like big events - especially if i'm not friendly with anyone there!? But, ummm, i hope you realized that all you did have to do was show up and you could have left when you wanted to!

Congrats on the weightloss! woohoo!

also, why no dancing!?

you are doing great. remember to take time our for yourself. I do like puddles suggestion above. and OR too has great advice.

DO you thing. this week, try to take it easy - especially maybe Monday.

Donkey - Saturday Aug 20, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 172.5

Just checking in for the week, to announce that I have officially reached the 14 lb weight loss mark.  Of course, this could just be a temporary thing.  I feel like I'm a prisoner to my hormones :-(

Progress as of today: 14 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/20/2016:
Just realized that 15.5 is the half-way mark to my goal weight.

Once I reach my goal weight, I plan to maintain for a while, depending on where I am with life. Then I would like to set another goal, as I am truly most comfortable at a lower number than 155.

Diamond50 on 08/21/2016:
Congrats on your progress Donkey! You'll get there.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/21/2016:
of course it doesn't need to be temporary...just keep at it. don't quit!

I am a prisoner to my hormones this weekend. And all last week - oh man bad mood swings bc PMSing early and man was I a bitch! at work too! Nothing compared to other folks though haha. Thanks for all of your encouragement and remember to always continue encouraging yourself. Take the credit where it's due...your loss is because you made the effort. But to keep it off, you must continue with the program and make sure you are eating to feel full when you eat - using veggies or other low cal options :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/23/2016:
lately...i'm bugging off my hormones too...remember it all passes...the bad feelings go away xoxo

Donkey - Saturday Aug 13, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 173.0

I realized that I did not write an entry last week, although not because I gained 0.5 lbs last week, which was rather discouragin, I'll admit.  All that diligence for a gain?!  Fear not, because my weigh-in this week was much more rewarding (was at 175.5 last week, 173.0 this week).

So 8lbs closer to meeting my wardrobe goal.  Actually, the real reward will be just seeing a new set of numbers when I'm in the 160's.

I look forward to my morning bike rides and love my evening walks with my daughter.  I will need to make adjustments though once school starts next week, and then again, when we change the clocks (and it will be dark in the morning and dark at night), and then once again when the cold weather hits.

I would like to start incorporating another walk in my day, either in the morning or at lunch time, but both come with their obstacles.

Progress as of today: 13.5 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

Duaa123. on 08/13/2016:
U know for my experience, walking or exercises is very important to lose weight fast, try gi walk up earlier as much u can and do some of them. have a good day

Horn_of_plenty on 08/14/2016:
I think i do like it lighter in mornings - easier to wake up to - although i will certainly miss the sunshine after work.

As you stick with your goals, you will surely reach your goal. That's all there is to it in life - put in the work and reap the rewards. I'm glad i have figured this part of life out.

Diamond50 on 08/14/2016:
I love it too when you see a new set of (downward) numbers on the scale. It's a great feeling. So will wearing that new wardrobe! As they say, "Keep your eye on the prize!"

Donkey - Saturday Jul 30, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 175.0

My efforts paid off this week, with another 1.5 pounds gone.  I am enjoying my exercise time more and more. I'm trying to incorporate more weight resistance or weight training, but that is not happening as much right now.  I am anticipating that once the cold winter months set in, that I will pick that up more. And I'm OK with that.  Right now I just want to focus on the momentum I have with consistent exercising.

So I am another year older and very grateful for what I have and for what I have been able to accomplish.  It's very hard to pick yourself up from the very rock bottom but with this birthday, I can look back and finally acknowledge to myself that, yes, I pretty much have done that.  That's not to say that I have completely eliminated surprise bursts of angst and pain from prior transgressions and failures.  But that those memories hit me like a brick when they come up shows that, for the most part, I've been able to let go, put them behind me, and move forward.

Hey, I just noticed that I have only 20 lbs more to go.  And only 10 more pounds until I can fit into the new (used) professional wardrobe.  (New to me, but used by a relative who lost weight a couple of years ago.)

I would also like to lose enough weight to be able to wear my wedding and engagement rings again.  It's been too long since I've been able to wear those.

Progress as of today: 11.5 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

puddles on 07/30/2016:
Congratulation. Keep up the good work. Nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Duaa123. on 07/30/2016:
You are nearly at the end of journey in losing weight. Just focus on positive things u mentioned. I hope one day u tell us yhat u can wear ur ring again

Horn_of_plenty on 07/31/2016:
Hola J. you are on a role. You've picked yourself up and done right by yourself. Keep it up. Don't look back.

And, most importantly, realize one thing: you can do whatever it is you set your heart out to do. Just make the right choices, most of the time, and you will achieve your goals.

If i can do it, anyone can.

Diamond50 on 08/09/2016:
It sounds like you are seeing awesome results from all of your hard work. That's got to be a GREAT feeling! I can feel your excitement about fitting into your new wardrobe! Just think how you'll feel when you are zipping it up! Keep going!

Donkey - Saturday Jul 23, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 176.5

Back at the 10lb mark for lost pounds...  All that hard work and sacrifice this week - I was hoping to see more than just 0.5lbs lost. *sigh*  Roll with it.

I am about 10 more pounds away from a fabulous professional wardrobe.  I was speaking to a friend last weekend who asked me, "Is that not enough incentive to lose weight?"  You would think so, right?

I'm still enjoying the exercise.  Doing mostlly all the right things.  I guess it will just take a while...

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 21.5 lbs to go!

puddles on 07/23/2016:
0.5 is better then it going up. Some weeks are slower then others. Keep it up you are doing good.

thinkpositive on 07/23/2016:
I understand when you put in a lot of effort & get a small loss. But keep going, it all adds up.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/24/2016:
the slower the better...slower the lose, longer it stays off :-)...I know from experience!

Donkey - Sunday Jul 17, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 177.0

I did better this week.  Felt more positive, made better food choices, STARTED EXERCISING!!!

I ride the exercise bike for 15 minutes in the morning.  It's not much as far as exercise or calories, but it really gets the day off to a good start, getting those endorphines going.  Makes for a much better day.  Then I've started walking at night.  Once I've got these down as serious habits, I'm goint to add weight training.

This has resulted in a 5lb loss this week, although I attribute most of that to water and monthly bloat (sorry).  I don't mean to make readers uncomfortable, so I'll try to keep this delicate, but it truly is a monthly battle:  bloat/cravings/depression.  I've dealt with this most of my life, so I believe that this is just the body I've been dealt. Not an excuse, but it's another obstacle to deal with.

My focus this week is to keep the momentum going, moving forward.  Peace be with you as well.


Progress as of today: 9.5 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

puddles on 07/17/2016:
Good luck at keeping your momentum up for next week. Have a great day and congrats on the 5 lb.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/17/2016:
nicely done J! Once again...the weight loss is due to your own actions. Enjoy the fruit of your labor!

OhioRaven on 07/18/2016:
congratulations on the loss and exercise.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/18/2016:
i applaud you on working on the positive mindset.

I have something to share about a best friend of mine, that i sometimes wonder how much longer i can really consider her a best friend?

she is from the lands of the negative mindset i think!

Donkey on 07/19/2016:
Yes, I think you can keep her as a best friend - at least for now - as long as you set boundaries for yourself. One of my best internet friends is a hopeless complainer, doesn't like my suggestions for improvement but would rather complain. Still, she's a good person at heart, has stuck through me during my really lowest... Plus, I want to see how her story plays out. :-)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/21/2016:
how her story plays out...you mean me or someone else? haha...the hopeless complainer is that me? :-)

no offense ever taken on your comments.

wishing you a happy, positive day. stay focused on yourself and what you are doing right (and you do!)...

I replied to all your comments.

Donkey on 07/22/2016:
I meant someone else :-)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/21/2016:
oh and the boundary thing = excellent.

boundaries are what are helping me in reaching my goals, yes. Being able to say NO has proved to be an extremely helpful thing for me for almost the past year (since last September 2015 I've been working on the "no" and i know that i may be saying it more at times to family this year...just about boundaries / saying no to activities if i need the time alone or at home...). it's ok. doing what i have to do!

Donkey - Sunday Jul 10, 2016
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 182.0

Weigh in this week was not good.  Up 4 pounds...  I was so down on myself yesterday that I could not bring myself to write a weekly diary entry, so I waited a day thinking the "blues" would pass, and I think they have, but right now I'm very distracted with anxiety about money matters.  Had an expensive car problem this week and I'm waiting for all the funds to transfer and pay-off so that I know my accounts are reconciled.  Until then (which will be Monday), I feel paralyzed and anxious about where we're at with our money.

Despite the additional stress and uncertainty, I feel that I was able to keep a positive attitude at work.  Friday was crazy, so I texted my husband and asked him out on a date, even though we had just had one last weekend.  (You see, we had a good coupon that is going to expire, and this weekend was better for that than this weekend.  And I really wanted to just go out and relax with my husband.)  That was very enjoyable, but I'm also afraid that the extra food was the cause of the weight gain this week.  Meh - gotta live a little.

Still feeling like I'm in limbo though.  Need a little push forward and momentum to keep it up.  Still feeling stalled and stuck.

Progress as of today: 4.5 lbs lost so far, only 27 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 07/11/2016:
For me, I have to change thinks up to get out of a stalled situation. Hard when you have problems to contend with. Hope things work out.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/12/2016:
Hi Donkey. I am sorry to hear about the car and money demands. But i am glad that at work you are working on feeling good and its paying off as i have read good things here in this entry regarding your work so be proud of yourself. And also it sounds so nice what you are doing with your hubby. You can choose veggies when you go out? or get protein atop lots of veggies if possible?

I think that more of the issue in the first half your entry is about anxiety / depression. I think you might be making the situations worse in your head by constantly thinking the worst? I have also dealt with some anxiety (more than depression i think)...and i know I am a person that struggles to always be positive. Some people have hard lives (harder than both of us), and are always happy. Not sure how they do it (and i still think some of it is because of ignorance?)...but i have a feeling you you will definitely get thru your situation...and you do know you will too...just try to look at it as "life" and a negative situation that will pass. I also get anxious when in the moment of it.

I also spent a lot of $$ past couple weeks, so i also have to work on my cash flow...hope to be back on track by August...

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