Just announcing that tomorrow is my weigh-in! And I feel like eating the entire house. Slipped up yesterday and ate a whole loaf of Irish soda bread from our ethnic supermarket. Oh MY but that is GOOD! Then I had 2 dishes of ice cream, later on that night. I had spent over 2 hours shoveling in the cold snow. My hunger was out of control.
I hate winter.
Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!
For the record, I have spent over 120 minutes today shoveling snow. And I'm not done yet, because it hasn't stopped snowing all day.
Woke up at 4:30 - needed to shovel mouth of driveway because of the snow the municipal plow piled up from plowing the street (20 minutes)
Shovel #1 @ 9:30a - School canceled, hence work canceled. Had my 2 kids help me clear off the driveway which had about 5 inches of snow on it. (60 minutes)
Shovel #2 @ 2:27p - Just came in from that one. About 3-4 inches of snow on the driveway. Must clear way before Husband comes home from work or he won't be able to pull in. I don't see how he'll be able to drive on our street. The mailman came in his pick-up truck (4 wheel drive) and he almost got stuck! I expect Husband to take about an hour to get home, normally takes him 10 minutes. (40 minutes)
(EVENING EDIT)
Shovel #3 @ 6:46p - Shoveled for only 10 minutes because Husband was already out there shoveling. I did the mouth of the driveway AGAIN, because the snow plow FINALLY came down our cul-de-sac and of course, pushed a nice wall of snow at the end of the driveway. (10 minutes)
My next door neighbor's mailbox is blocked by snow and so is ours. So my guess is that the plow will come by again -- when we are not outside glaring at him -- and clear that snow away, and promply place it at the mouth of our driveway.
So now you know what I will be doing at 5:30a tomorrow morning as I get ready to leave for work. :-(
Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!
You may notice that my weight went down 0.5lb. Yes, this despite having eaten over 3000 calories yesterday. (I'm giving Horn of Plenty a run for her money!)(Yuck, it's not a fun competition. I ate so much my pancreas hurt! I couldn't inhale deeply for over 3 hours!)
This week, I have very limited time at the gym. I have a driving route that extends into my break in the morning, so my free time of 9a-1:30p is decreased to 10:30a-1:45p. I have decided that it is better to do SOMETHING at the gym rather than to give up and do nothing.
So today, instead of my usual hour on the elliptical, I only did 35 minutes. Then I used the remainder of the hour to do weight training (lower body). Maybe this "change-up" will bring some positive results. More muscle tone? Who knows? It is all I can do, and I'm trying to take a balanced approach to my workouts this week.
I have this longer driving route Monday (today) and Tuesday. Then Wednesday and Thursday I go back to more bus training, which will make my morning break (my Gym Time) more like 11:30a-1:30p. I detest this training. I have no desire to learn this new vehicle format. Nor do I like the trainer very much. Perhaps she is more like me than I care to admit. I tend not to like people who are like myself in personality. And come to think of it, she does have a similar personality. A "get down to business, be very thorough" attitude. Now if she could just STOP being so condescending about it all....
Tomorrow I am driving routes by myself. It is the first time I have ever driven on my own. I am nervous. I will get through it. Hopefully without crashing or killing anything (anyone).
Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!
So you have a "get down to business" attitude - that's cool. Maybe your trainer just hasn't noticed it yet. She's probably used to people being less thorough than her and hasn't realised that you're not like that.
Yeah, I did think that was the most awesome Superbowl ever!! Even my curmudgeonly Giants-and-Patriots-hating husband had to admit that it was up there. I was also getting really sick of all the Tom Brady adoration going over the last few days/weeks/months. And he certainly let it get to his head, didn't he? "We're only going to score 17 points?!" It seems pride came before a fall.
OK I could choose not to weigh in until the weight went down. But I'm not going to. I'm being 100% honest with you and with myself. Quite frankly, with all the bingeing I've been doing at night, I'm surprised my weight isn't higher. If I had seen 137, I would not have been surprised. Sad, yes. Discouraged, yes. Angry, totally.
So I kind of look at this number as a gift, or a free pass. Just 0.5lb out of my self-determined "maintenance range." (Which is 133-127, a 3lb leeway in either direction.)
Another tough week coming up. My stomach isn't right. I don't know if my sickness has settled in my stomach or if it's nerves or what. I know I"m not myself because I have little desire for coffee. I love coffee, but now I"m down to 1 cup a day in the mornings. And I think that's just to prevent headaches later on. I've been drinking diet soda pop instead. The bubbles really help my stomach and queasiness.
I thought it might be the stress of the job, but even vegetables have lost their appeal to me. Which would explain why I'm craving sweets like I have been. So I asked Husband to buy more fruit when he went to the market today. What a sweetie I have :-)
I have also come to the conclusion that if job training -- yes, I have more job training this week -- is going to interfere with a daily hour workout, then darn it, I'm going to get to the gym and do what I CAN. My aim is for 30 minutes on training days. (I'm learning how to drive an oversized school bus.) You see, I normally get 4 hour break in the middle of the day, which is great for going to the gym, coming home and showering, then having lunch and then go back to work. Well, the training cuts 2-2.5 hours into the break. But I think I can try very hard to squeeze in a workout. I usually can't go after work because the kids have homework or activities that I need to help them with.
Hmm... I'm wondering if I could make it to the gym BEFORE I have to be at work, if I hussle my butt to the front door AT 5a. Hmm... Probably not. Fortunately, I don't have many days of this training, I don't believe. Probably depends on how I do with the testing, ha ha (weak laugh). God, more testing for Donkey? Lord have mercy upon me, please....
Progress as of today: 10.5 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!
thank you for your feedback on anatomy and physiology and how it could just lead to binging all semester. haha, i was thinking about that this morning and afternoon before i read your comment. That's when i made the promise to do yoga at least 5X a week and schedule study time and not think about studying, but rather, just study! you are right, it is a TON of memorizing...and i'm glad i don't have to take any other courses right now along with it!
I've been hiding. I've been falling into bad eating habits again. I didn't feel that I had much to say about anything. I found myself eating incredible amounts of sugar in the evenings. Yesterday my "fat" jeans started feeling a little tighter than I like, so I knew I had to do something soon. And then it hit me:
I didn't realize how sleep deprived I was until Thursday morning. I made a plan to get myself OUT of the kitchen ASAP after diner last night, get myself upstairs and ready for bed EARLY. I was asleep by 8:30p. I woke up refreshed. I feel so renewed.
Unfortunately, I forgot to weigh myself this morning before having a cup of coffee. I was up early because I needed to see if school was canceled for the kids -- which it has been. Yay I'm a SAHM again for the day (Stay At Home Mom)!!!
So I am using this extended weekend to regroup and recharge.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank EVERYONE who stopped by my diary to lend a word of encouragement, sympathy and kindness over my recent losses and stressors in my life. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude for taking time out of your busy lives to lend me some comfort. I am still sad but I know this will take time to get over. Thank you all -- you guys are the best!!!
i am sorry to her about the hard times in your life. it must be difficult but i can tell your a strong women. take care x
I don't have much to say. This was a very hard weekend. The funeral was very nice. I'm glad I made the decision to be with my sweetie cat when we (I) put her down. I didn't want her to die alone on a cold steel table. I asked her to forgive me.
Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
Take a look at that fabulous weigh-in!!! I am amazed that I was able to stay under 130 (technically speaking) with the kind of week that I have had. But I did it! Which should prove something to myself. Not to give up? Not to drown myself in food? I dunno. Too tired to think it through.
But I was so happy for the good weigh in today. It seemed to lift me up. I can tell that I'm getting a rhythm with working now. Even though it's not easy and I still get stressed, I do my time and then rest of the time is mine.
Tomorrow is the funeral for Grandpa. I'm having Husband make the appointment to put down the cat on Sunday. I kind of want to be there with her. She's such a delicate little thing, and I hate to think that her last minutes on earth would be in a strange place with her being scared. I think that if I were with her... she would have some comfort in that. Just as Grandpa wanted to die with family around him, I think I could afford the same courtesy to someone (something?) that has brought me so much joy and comfort these past 14 years.
And I definitely don't want to have to do that on a day where I have to work/drive! Those days are hard enough without having to deal with the cat as well.
Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!
I will continue to pray for you this weekend, that you have the strength to make it through okay...I know you'll be okay.
Take care!
Glad you had a good weigh-in!
(And needless to say, I appreciate the support whenever possible:-)
Donkey is tired.
Grandpa (Husband's grandfather) has passed away. We received the call late last night. Friday (tomorrow) is the wake, which I cannot attend because of the damn job. Saturday is the funeral and luncheon. I'm sure both will be so sad... And nothing like having a huge honkin' luncheon buffet on a sad occasion.
I am still sick. It seems to hit me really hard around noon. People think I'm falling apart. They keep asking me, "Are you alright?" "Are you OK?" Um, well, I feel like crap, and wish I were at home in bed instead of working -- or trying to learn how to work. Other than that, oh sure fine.
Oh and add on to that, that it was -26F degrees (with wind chill) outside this morning, and I'm out there trying to do a pre-trip inspection of my vehicle in the middle of darkness.
We're putting my beloved cat down this weekend. I think Sunday, if possible. She is no longer eating much of anything any more. She is losing... um... digestive fluids in larger quantities on a regular basis. The scary thing is, no matter which end it comes out, it looks and smells the same. Now that is bad. It's time to let go.
(Great, more sadness. Somebody bake me a cake.)
I did make it to the gym today. I wasn't going to, because I only had 3 hours off between driving runs today (today I did not drive; I only observed or "shadowed" another driver). But I pushed myself to go because I knew it would do my mind and body so much good. And it did.
Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I'm not sure I should weigh in. With all the stress eating earlier this week and lack of exercise midweek... And then not feeling very good at all about this job thing -- I feel so lost and overwhelmed -- I dunno if Donkey needs one more thing to come crashing down on her. But then again, it's just a number, it's just to let me know where I'm at. If nothing else, it's so I'll have an accurate reading for the cardio machines when I resume going to the gym on a regular basis...
Donkey is tired.
Progress as of today: 15.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!
OK so here it is:
1. I passed the test -- BARELY. I made a HUGE error that personally I would have failed myself for if I had been the one grading. No excuses for what I did, just not thinking. But I did pass, so I should begin a new schedule of working (and working out and eating) tomorrow, but possibly Friday.
2. I have not been eating well this week, nor have I exercised (hardly at all) this week. Therefore, I do not expect a favorable weigh in on Friday.
3. I am still sick. Each day improves *slightly* but not by much. Now it's in my chest and I'm coughing all the time.
It seems that too much is happening all at once and I'm totally unprepared for all the changes!
Progress as of today: 15.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!
When you feel better, that's probably the best time to get the exercise in. If you have a chest cough, I wouldn't do much cardio at all. If it was just a cold, then it would be a better idea. :)
Feel better. I know you can hang tough.
Chest congestion - hopefully productive coughing - you're on the mend! Tomorrow is another day and it will be better!
Friends of DD, you have always been with me, throughout the year last year, through good times and bad, thick and thin.
So I'm posting today to let you know that my test for my CDL is tomorrow. I do not expect to pass. I am nervous. I never do well for driving tests.
I am still sick. I skipped the gym today because I was dizzy and congested when I woke up. Tomorrow, I will wake up not so early and give myself time to do whatever I have to do so that I feel better by the time my test starts (i.e. take medicine and give it time to kick in, hot shower, menthol rub, etc.). I do not plan on going to the gym tomorrow either.
I have been eating chocolate like it is a food group. I must say, it has helped calm my nerves, even if it's not very nutritious.
So I just have to get through tomorrow morning. I know that regardless of whatever happens, I will still have friends here.
Progress as of today: 15.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!
have a piece of chocolate, (okay - I'm not supposed to tell you to do that, but we're in kind of a mini-crisis it sounds like) and BREATHE! Good luck!
dark chocolate is nutritious...have some of that...:)
i wish you loads of goodluck tomorrow as well as some feeling better wishes, too! :)
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Damned winter!!!
thinnsidenotout on 02/07/2008:
Hey have to enjoy loaf (oopsie) I mean life once and a while {-;-}........ Shoveling that much snow, you have to do something to get the energy level back and you enjoyed it...WE hate winter now, but we will hate summer in a few months...
borntocry on 02/08/2008:
You mean I'm not the only one who eats whole loaves of bread?! You don't say!
You must have burned hundreds of calories shoveling snow, and in the cold, too, when your body uses up even more energy to maintain its temperature. No wonder you were so ravenous. Whereas I felt the same way yesterday and have no excuse!
You were right, by the way, I did say that I was going to update my weight but that was when I was hoping it would go down after a few days on the straight and narrow, so to speak. Instead it keeps going up, and now today I'm inevitably going to be gorging myself on bread, so there's no hope for tomorrow. But maybe this weekend...
so_devine on 02/08/2008:
well done on the weight loss. keep it up, hope your having a great day