Happy Easter!!
Hip still a little sore today... It's been a busy morning with little chores here and there. My daughter had to work this morning, so I had her Easter gifts waiting for her this morning. It was so nice to see that even at age 17.9, she can still be surprised with a gift :-) It wasn't much really -- two Lindt chocolate bunnies, Burt's Bees chapstick, and a bottle of mango Snapple for her enjoyment.
I've been remembering whistfully the Easter mornings we used to have when the kids were little. My husband would almost always have to work, so I would take the kids up to Wisconsin with my folks. I'd bring the plastic eggs, get up super early, and hide them outisde in their big country backyard. The real eggs that we dyed with Grandma-Nana and Papa would be hidden in the family room. Then we'd have a nice midday meal before the kids and I would have to head on back to Illinois. These memories made me miss Papa... My mom (Grandma-Nana) will be spending Easter with my brother and his family -- the kids are still young enough for this stuff, at 11 and 6. Gotta grab these memories while you can, because kids grow up too fast....
Once my daughter returns from work, we'll have Italian beef sandwiches for dinner. We are all hammed out, I would say for the next year at least, maybe 2 before we need to be seeing another ham in this household.
Speaking of gift-giving, I did think of something to give my co-worker who covered my desk. She suffers from IBD, and even though we have 2 wax warmers in the small bathroom at work, I think she gets very embarrassed if she has a flare-up at work, which can sometimes run all day (no pun intended). So I bought her 4 spray air fresheners to use at work. She's mentioned several times that we're out of spray, and we've both discussed how we "keep forgetting" to bring spray. So this weekend, I was determined that this would not be a problem for her any more, at least for a while. Maybe not as usefull as a gas card would have been, but I think a little more appropriate on the price range, perhaps.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
Logged on last night because I was feeling anxious & edgy -- the whole dessert wars thing again -- but couldn't think of anything inspiring to write. So I commented on entries instead...
Maintained my weight this week. I guess that's OK. I'd love to be 10 pounds lighter, but I don't think that's ever going to happen. Maybe it shouldn't ever happen at a healthy level. Please bear with me as I try to work my mind around maintenance issues...
Today is rainy and then temperatures will drop so that we have the coldest Easter in Chicagoland in the past 10 years. Great. Next week, there are several days where snow is forecasted. Double great. One thing this weather has shown me is that moving to Wyoming probably isn't what I'm looking for - at least weatherwise. So Wyoming is in the cards only if Daughter ends up moving to Colorado.
Like yesterday, for the most part (except for dinner, which it felt like I ate a lot of), I'm not real hungry this morning. This is how I prefer to be. One of the drawbacks being more active has is that I do get more hungry (DUH). Then that's when sugar levels and food intake get a little shaky for me. I find that I also go through phases where there are Hungry Days and then Not-So-Hungry Days. As part of maintenance, I have to learn to ride these waves out.
Unlike last weekend, my plan is to get my errands out of the way and then relax for the rest of the day. I pushed myself too hard last week, so that by the time Monday morning came around, I was exhausted. FitBit has this tracker where I can achieve 12 hours of 250+ steps. I tried that last weekend, making 11 of 12 hours so I missed the goal, and then was wiped out. So not this weekend. It's off my radar. I've done my morning exercise, so I will require nothing else of myself. If I want to do weights, great. If I want to walk, great. If I want another stationary bike ride in the afternoon, great. But I'm not pushing anything else other than my usual weekend errands.
EVENING EDIT: I changed the range of active hours on my FitBit from 8a-8p to 7a-7p and that seems to be a much better fit for my reality.
Started having some back issues this morning in the parking lot of the grocery store. This was AFTER taking Aleve for my achy hip after my morning workout. I will be monitoring this carefully.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
Once the weather WARMS UP, my after dinner habit will be to go for a nice walk. It is just taking forever to get to that point.
I'm going to explore other things to do after dinner to avoid future dessert wars. The decaf coffee was a step in the right direction, but I think I can probably do better than that.
It's been a long winter here too. Record snowfall and we finally got a 1 week reprieve, but now just got more snow yesterday. Hard to stay motivated here when the weather has been crappy for so long this winter.
I think I'm going to adjust my activity range from 7a-7p, rather than 8a-8p. I think that will be more conducive to my schedule, especially if I elect to go to bed earlier.
I'll tell you a secret though: I would really love to upgrade to the FitBit Blaze, which looks like an Apple watch. It definitely has the reminders.
What's stopping me? For one, it has a heft price, especially since I already have a FitBit that works. For two, and more sentimentally, Mr. Donkey and the kids got me the FitBit I have now as a birthday gift. So there's an emotional attachment to it as well.
What can I say? I'm a softie at heart.
I know that I have to get to the point where I'm done with the scale and embrace the body I'm given.
I lost the chocolate war today. But I feel only comfortably full and not stuffed. This may be hormonal or in response to getting sick again, possibly. Well... hopefully I'll have lots of energy for tomorrow.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
I don't like being wasteful and throwing stuff away, but I know my own weaknesses and throwing it away would be the lesser of the evils for me.
I wanted to mention a couple of positive things that happened yesterday...
I felt really good yesterday and had little problem waking up & getting started on my morning workout. I finished cardio early, so I decided to do a little upper body weight training instead! Usually I reserve weight training for the evening, but it felt so good to feel healthy again, I could not resist.
Heard from my/our son yesterday! He did not test yesterday because his dorm had to be evacuated due to the really bad weather in Texas, so he has a whole extra week to keep training to pass the push-up test! However, he said that he was able to do 34 push-ups earlier in the week, so now he is confident that he can pass the test. So he has mastered the mental part of the challenge, because once you know you can do it, it becomes easier to do it again. We're really hopeful for next week's testing.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
I am so happy to hear you are doing better. i think the reason my definition in my shoulders is bigger now is due to planks...these are a really good exercise to hold as long as you can for 3 rounds of them. They are one of the new exercises i do. now you got all your exercise in...that's good too!
I've been dealing with an issue the past few days -- maybe even since Sunday...
OK, so I happen to have a large box -- like 50 pieces? -- of Frango chocolates from Marshall Fields. For those of you who do not know, I would say they are like the Fannie Mae chocolate mint squares -- meltaways? I've had this box for about year. I had other chocolates to finish first, and then had other goals to achieve, so the box remains unopened.
However, Monday I had an urge so strong to open the box after dinner and eat as much of the chocolate as I could to the point of being full and sick to my stomach. Stopped myself by having a cup of decaf with chocolate creamer and a sweet-n-low packet.
Had the same thought on yesterday, instead had a chunk of raw cacao, which was probably more calories than one Frango, but wasn't ready to open the box.
So here I am tonight, wanting to open the box. I think that if I did, I could have only one. But then I'd want a square every night --- and that would be OK too. My mom --- who has lost almost 100 pounds of weight and kept it off for several years --- said that this is what she does to satisfy her need for a sweet.
I just do not like that feeling like I want to eat the whole box. That feeling is not specific to the box of chocolate. I have had those feelings with cartons of ice cream... cans of nuts... Funny how I never have that feeling with a bag of carrots, LOL.
Having talked about this, I think I will wait to open the box another day.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
Just a quick log in right now.... Today was the first day I felt healthy -- except for the crunchy cough I have, you'd never guess I had been sick. I skipped my lunch walk yesterday and shortened it today. Dear Lord, we just need some warmer weather here in Illinois to show us it's really Spring...
Snow expected over the weekend. *sigh*
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
A "successful" weigh-in today, but that's what being sick with a loss of appetite gets me. I'm thinking rather than stirring up drama (with myself) with weigh-ins, what I need are self-affirmations that this is all just part of a healthy maintenance program. Plus or minus a few pounds, depending on what life brings. As this progresses, then I can start weening myself off of the scale, because I know that my body will take care of the numbers, as long as I take care of my body.
Needless to say, though, this journey has had a lot of ups and downs, not only on the scale, but also emotionally.
It's deceivingly beautiful here today. Beautiful blue sky and bright sun... but still very chilly outside. So for the most part, I plan to stay indoors, except I'm tickled pink that a library book I've been waiting for has come in. Perfect timing since I just returned what I had checked out yesterday, and was wondering what to do next.
So I have an errand to run, which is great. As you know, I need tasks to do to keep myself active. So why can I do this with an activity like going to the library, but when it comes to things that would help us move, e.g. organize my closet, I just can't get myself to do these sorts of chores?
Breakfast: 2 coffee w/creamer, 2 slices of diet bread toast w/Nutella.
2nd Breakfast: 1/2 cup whole milk vanilla Greek yogurt. Yes, I am a hobbit.
Lunch: Salad w/ranch dressing, more delicious leftover oregano chicken. Cantalope melon -- I'd say 1.5 cups at the most.
2nd Snack: raw vegetables with 2TBSP dressing of some sort. And then add a small piece of raw cacao to that.
Dinner: homemade nachos (tortilla chips, seasoned ground beef, black beans, corn, Salsa, cheddar cheese) , 1 large apple.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
Going out to the library is possibly easier to do because it's a change of scenery. The same walls and setting can make it harder to do tasks... e.g is I think why people sometimes struggle when they're working from home. When I want to get stuff done at home, I like to put music on, and the music reminds me that I am doing a specific task. Music without lyrics is what I find most helpful, otherwise I'm pausing to listen to the words. I don't know if that's something that could work for you. Also setting a schedule and having a time-frame to complete the task?
i think you are doing great. Maintenance is a beast of itself yes. I'm dealing with it too...but it's better than having a big weightloss to have to deal with, surely. It's better waking up and being around the weight you'd like to be.
i also struggle with home tasks. I'm worse than you...i hire a cleaning service every month or 2. (once a month or once every couple months) just to make sure that everything is cleaned up here every so often...i debate getting rid of the service and doing it myself but it seems so daunting that i keep making appts with them....although i'd be fitter and get exercise cleaning, for some reason, i keep putting it off and leaving it to a service whom i pay $100 plus a $30 tip every 4-8 weeks....
keep on. now you know how to keep on with healthier eating and also you know how to include exercise in your routine. this is most what you need...
I forgot to weigh in today. I woke up and felt well enough to exercise on my stationary bike (light setting, just to get muscles moving), so my "auto-pilot" kicked in, got dressed, got my water & coffee and went downstairs. Hopped on the bike and realized - OOPS! Oh well, that's OK. I think it might be better for me not to weigh in for a while... of course, I won't take my own advice. I'll try to remember tomorrow.
So I woke up with more energy, less achy, and my sense of taste seems to be coming back, which is great, because I've missed wanting vegetables. After my session with the bike, though, I feel a little tired, so I'm going to rest a little bit before I start my errands for the day.
Still not biting my nails. Looking to go to Goodwill and look for a pair of pajama bottoms to match the new, free T-shirt I got for that stupid work party I went to a few weeks ago. Also might look into getting some slacks that actually fit me, if I can find a size that fits. I'm a shortie at 5'3" (more like 5'2") but "Petite" sizes are cut not only shorter but smaller. Well, that satisfies the short part but I'm still a larger frame. So I'm a size larger in "petitie", which doesn't feel good seeing on a size tag. Mind games!
I realize that with my entries this past week, I need to work on self-acceptance. How does one do this? How does one find his/her center, focus, Zen?
EVENING EDIT: Did not do any clothes shopping, not enough energy. Not sure how I feel about tracking food. Downloaded 2 apps, one for guided meditation and one for yoga, but I just remembered I can find really good yoga on YouTube...
Food:
B 2 slices of diet toast w/Nutella, 1 cup of coffee with half and half
L: 1 cup "oregano chicken", large sweet potato w butter (2 tbsp?) & paprika.S: 1/2 cup whole milk Greek Greek (vanilla ), 2 cups coffee w half and half, approx. 20 as almonds.
D: pot roast (~3 oz.), boiled potatoes ~1/2 cup, some cooked carrots and onions, 2 servings of green salad w Italian dressing
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
When I got my Fitbit, I wanted one with a HR monitor for accurate calorie output, but I'm not sure that I really use it like I thought I would... Does that make sense?
So expensive!!!! https://www.rei.com/product/863020/cycleops-fluid2-bike-trainer
I noticed with you, always, that you certainly DO set high expectations for yourself which motivates all of us here! for sure.
but if you can at least stick to ONE just one of your expectations, you should definitely be happy with yourself. keep setting all expectations, and i guess realize that it's a give and take - time and energy-wise - and choose what you are ok with skipping or missing to do something else. or shorten some of the length of other things. i also want to sometimes do more than i have time for...
i'm glad you are using your bike.
that's what i should have done, instead of buying two pairs.
good news tho is that i know own black pants, to wear to a funeral, i hope they fit...otherwise, i'll have to wear my leggings. i also have a nice blazer that i'm glad i kept. :) the suit jacket. comes in handy to have at least a couple things that fit right for the occasion you have to wear them. but truthfully, you don't need more than 1 or 2 - that FIT - not too big or small...i'm now talking to myself!
I would like to thank Happy-1 on the suggestion of changing my DD name to Cougar Booty Babe. LOL!!
Still very tired, but no fever and now just mostly coughing and tired. I can live with that. I'm going to bed after I write this and rest until I fall asleep.
Ate more today than I did yesterday: slice of bread w/Nutella, protein shake, scrambled eggs & 1 baked potato, then sweet potato & oregano chicken for dinner, with fresh fruit. My sense of taste is starting to come back too.
Tomorrow's weigh-in won't be reflective of my normal weight, but sticking to my routine. I've kept up with the push-ups. Wore my rings to work today, but only worked 9a-3p instead of until 5p. I wanted to leave at lunchtime to go home and rest, but the workload just wouldn't allow it.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
Turns out I'm sick... Very difficulty night from the minute I turned off the light, but woke up with a fever and aching muscles.
Had to go to work because there were deadlines that had to be met or extended. Plus we have a client who is closing tomorrow, so I had to get her file all set for the attorney.
Got to work and found out my boss has the flu, so I pretty much know how I got sick. Praying this isn't flu because I do not have insurance at the minute.
So today was a wash, but last night, I realized that if I want to be the person I strive to be, I'm going to have to be tougher than this. Real change takes hard work and self- discipline.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
i hope you feel much better soon though. I had no idea you didn't have health insurance. That is something i am very lucky to have, being in the union here in NYC, most if not all unions (teachers/professors,my electrical union, other trade unions, college teaching unions, healthcare workers unions) generally provide health insurance. i am so sorry! keep on and stay tough. i know outside the NYC area and other big cities, health insurance is a beast in its own outside the unions.
As it turned out, my boss offered to cover me for medical only if I would agree to sign up for only myself and if I would sign up for the HMO. It kicks in on April 1st.
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Your dinner sounds good...we had beef too. It's nice that your daughter still enjoys easter....it's too bad we can't keep them young longer!
horn_of_plenty on 04/01/2018:
Happy Easter to you and your whole family !!!!
I will be writing more tomorrow :) ty for your extra sweet Christmas moments <3 I hope you are enjoying this day and even the weather is cooperating here - I think it is by you too?
It was a nice, quiet day. It would have been better had it been warmer out, but it will just be appreciated all the more when it finally does arrive.
horn_of_plenty on 04/02/2018:
LOL, i had to laugh that you got her air freshener :) too funny...maybe also you can say it's for all...but you know she wanted it!? too funny!
Lately i poop all the time at work...and pray nobody comes in when i'm in...bc if they do come in, i can't go...lol. usually, my kombucha early in the AM and then coffee later at work, does the trick. today though, due to hormones, it may not be the case...lol.
horn_of_plenty on 04/02/2018:
i think bathrooms should all be private at work and well ventilated...and away from public work areas lol...so we can seriously have privacy! with sound protection! haha
horn_of_plenty on 04/02/2018:
oh, and also that was really a nice thoughtful action to leave the gifts out for your daughter!