Checking in, but not much to say. I'm bracing for another heatwave coming on Friday and lasting through Monday night. *sigh* Not that it matters because the mosquitos are so bad this year.
And I'm having a particularly difficult month - things just feel off this month. So things are just out of sorts and I'm not feeling very encouraged at the moment.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
I accomplished my weekend chore list for the most part. I am waiting for my husband's clothes to dry outside so that I can bring them in. Also, I am waiting for the 2 cleaned cat boxes to dry in the sun. I'll bring those in and refill them. The corn litter I use for them is so much more environmentally friendly and dust free. Very easy to handle, and the cats like it - as long as I buy the GREEN bag, and not the RED bag or the BLACK bag. Apparently, although they are the same material, the formula is different as my one kitty will make sure that I know this.
Both of my children have work this afternoon until the late night (11pm), so my husband and I have the afternoon, dinner hour, and evening free for ourselves. I'm sure there are chores that I could do around the house, but I am using this afternoon to relax and enjoy. I have found that taking time for one's own pleasure makes a significant difference in how I enter the work week. If I don't have that ME time, work is so much more stressful.
I've decided that I'm going to continue my evening workouts - as long as there are still episodes of GBBO to watch (LOL) - and the BCAA (amino acid) experiment because these are things that I feel I get some added benefits from, even though they do not necessarily reflect well on the scale.
The middle of the year was last weekend, Saturday into Sunday. I feel that this year has been about finding that balance in life, whether it be mind/body, work/life, etc. I don't know that I'll achieve that, but I'm getting better at it.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
i think finding a balance in life is very similar to maintaining weight...balance in life tends to go a little better at times or up at times and back down at times. and we try our best to moderate thru it...and ENJOY life too! haha.
i hope you enjoy your time with your hubby :) and your me time...lately i'm not having enough alone time and starting to feel it!
.... Or possibly 132.0. More scale games today. Weighed in on the old digital scale at 131.5 twice. Went on to the newer Ironman scale (which usually weighs me 2 pounds heavier), and weighed in at 131.4. Went back onto the old scale and weighed in (twice) at 132.0. Enough of that. Maybe I'm at the point now where I can just switch over to the Ironman scale.
So what is this, a 3 pound weigh gain???? Must be the eating out this week, although last night, the "all you can eat" fish fry didn't pan out because the restaurant had just ran out of fish! So I had a salad of which I ate half. I was really hoping for a better weigh-in than what I got today. I was visualizing lower numbers - didn't work.
It seems as though my added evening biking workouts aren't helping much at all -- in fact they might be hurting my numbers. (To recap: I've been riding the new exercise bike with higher, effective resistances in the evening while losing myself in an episode of Great British Baking Show...) I've been using more resistance for about 45 minutes, resulting in an extra 500-700 calories a week being burned. Food has not changed that much. This is the end of Week 3 of the amino acids experiment... Not sure WHAT to do... or what my next step would be. Obviously, though, something is not working.
My errands this weekend: Yardwork (tree trimming and hosing down the AC unit), go to the library, go to Target to buy special cat litter, work on changing out 2 of the 4 litter boxes. (The cats have decided that 2 of the boxes are for #1, and 2 of the boxes are for #2. Time to change out the litter in the #2 boxes, LOL...) And of course the neverending laundry. Enough to keep me busy in a happy sort of way.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
BTW - you've been doing awesome at maintaining your weight around 130. I searched back through your entries and it's been just over a year since you dropped out of the 140's. Good job on being so consistent.
No, I take that back, in my 20s, for about 2 years, I was able to maintain in the low 140s for a period of time without any insanity creeping into my methods.
salad may cause a slight weight gain bc of volume?
i do have to recommend you use ONE scale...why make yourself crazy?
Thank goodness it's Friday! I feel much better today, which I do not know why because nothing has really changed from yesterday except my outlook.
Yesterday was probably my weakest day: the boss wanted to go out to lunch so he took me and my male co-worker to the Moose lodge. I had a Caribbean chicken wrap (ate half, and of that half, only ate half of the tortilla wrap) with potato salad (1 cup? - ate half) and a small side of beans (1/3 cup? of which I ate half). So not only was my lunch heavier than usual, but I didn't get my midday walk. Oh well... still made my overall step goal and had a lighter dinner of salad and a sandwich, but still.
After work, I am meeting up with my husband for a chair-yoga session. This is offered to him for free because of his disability and spouses are welcome. I'm really looking forward to this! However, afterwards, my husband wants to take advantage of a 2-for-1 coupon for all-you-can-eat fish fry at a local restaurant. This is not good on 3 levels:
But I'm going to just try to relax about all of this and enjoy whatever happens. Yes, we have to save up but on the other hand, we have to enjoy these moments too, and it won't be much longer that we can have family outings like this.
We'll see how today plays out.
PS STILL wish I had taken yesterday and today off from work...
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
When our boys were little , we would always get a booth in a restaurant so that we could block each boy in...LOL...and the youngest between 1 and 3...would rather stand on the seat and look around at all the people instead of eating...D would say "BRETT...stop looking at all of the people and sit down and eat"...he would sit down...take a bite...and pop right back up and survey the room again...he may have something there...enjoy the family...enjoy the surroundings...eat slowly and savor every bite....( ask for a container to put your leftovers in...and make the family eat them the next day...LOL)…..everybodys happy!!!
Really regretting not having taken today and tomorrow off. After all the anxiety from earlier this week, I'm feeling down this morning. Again, this is not a good feeling to carry around with me going into work. I need to be positive, calm, kind, helpful... Very hard to do when feeling like this.. IDK if it's the aftermath from the adrenaline from the anxiety, feeling tired from the excessive heat, feeling tired because I *am* tired, not enough carbs, overtraining... I'm not sure.
I bought black-out curtains from Walmart yesterday for the family room - something I've wanted to do for a long time - because the windows are large and so much heat and light come in... The "fashionable" curtain wire (not a rod, a wire) could not sustain the weight and pulled out of the wall. So now my new drapes are on the floor, the bracket for the wire is pulled out of the wall, and I'll have to look for a proper curtain rod or rods for husband & son to TRY to install.
The curtains were only slightly heavier than the sheers that were there before, so I highly suspect that the former owners did not install the brackets correctly. She was supposively an "interior designer" and he was a "do-it-yourself" guy, but so much of the work that they did in this house to "decorate" was done improperly. *sigh*
At least I am able to turn on the AC again now that the window job is complete. Somehow though, I don't think that helped me sleep any better than I did. The key things to this diary entry is that sleep is SO important to one's well-being. And stress can be a HUGE distraction to one's efforts.
Maybe it's good that I go to work today, to distract myself from my own problems and focus on other people's complaints.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
I agree that sleep is VERY important and glad i do it for the most part MUCH better now than i did in my mid-late 20's and even early 30's. just so glad i learned to sleep.
stress can be a major issue. i, for one, am glad you went to work as it's really a short week and easy week.
also, yes, try to distract yourself because i feel you made your stress even bigger than it was. i just hope you had some time to yourself on the day off. you did say you exercised, i am glad. my exercise was brief actually too yesterday - ran outta time for more. but it worked well because my body actually felt good this AM.
How nice to have a day off in the middle of the week! I was tired this morning. My bike workout was not as productive as it usually is; this may be due to the very warm weather, which I will explain further below:
Since our moving plan has been pushed back, I/we made the decision to invest a chuck of $$ into getting new windows for the house. All of our windows were shot (insulating seals blown) and the one window on the main level wouldn't even lock any more. I rationalized this expense that we'll need to get the windows fixed/replaced to sell -- from what I've been seeing on the deals I work with -- and I'd like to enjoy the benefits of our investment for a little while at least, presuming we stay here for 3-5 years. So the husband consented.
Fortunately it was a quick process at 1.5 days. I was completely thrown into anxiousness with strange people in my house, all the curtains and blinds taken down. The mess and the chaos had me a nervous wreck - which is not good for work, because I bring my personal anxiety into everything I do, which makes me seem less patient, less detailed, less efficieint, etc. Things are slowly getting back to normal and the new windows are very nice.
The fact that I did not eat my way through all of this stress is a huge milestone for me. I have evolved.
I don't have much planned for today for the 4th of July. It is very hot here today and the bugs (mosquitos and flies) are in their glory. (One of the annoying things about getting windows replaced is the number of flies that came into the house. Maddening...) The husband plans to cookout unless it's raining later. I think the storms will hold off. If it's raining though, we'll have to have something on the stove, because I don't allow the oven to be turned on while the AC is on, as that seems counter-intuitive to me.
A few odds and ends:
I noticed a comment on an entry that Donkey has a food scale. Please allow me to correct that statement: Donkey HAD a food scale; it stopped working after a few years of using it. Donkey NEEDS a NEW food scale. (LOL) Or maybe I don't. I seem to be doing fine without measuring, but I did find having a food scale at one point to be *EXTREMELY* helpful. I was completely underestimating portion sizes and calories. Maybe for Chrstimas, I might ask for a new one. I do highly recommend having a food scale if you are at the point of feeling stuck. It may be that the portions are being underestimated. However, for myself, I've graduated from portion control to essentially changing the types of foods that I eat.
Aren't my co-workers something else? <<<and I think that's all I'll say about that.
The push-ups idea isn't working. I keep forgetting to do them at the end of the day. Adding them to the beginning of my day probably won't work because I'm usually so focused on finishing up cardio and then getting ready for work, pronto. Need to think of something better that WILL work.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
Or...print out a few variations of pushups that you can do, and maybe that will motivate you to try them. Like, superman pushups, one arm pushups, pushups with a shoulder tap in the plank position, etc. Make it fun! Well, as fun as a pushup can get ;)
i can't get into using my food scale. i'd only really use it for meats / cheeses. and it's always out on the countertop ready to use! haha.
also so glad you go the windows in and finished sooo quickly. good idea to enjoy them now for a few years.
i hope you are feeling better...good thing about not taking off the days is that the weekend will be here in one day! this week was beautiful!
Happy July! Another month to make progress!
I didn't even realize that yesterday was the last day of the month. If you go by weigh-ins, I lost 1 pound, or if you go by averages, I basically maintained.
I'm not sure if it's where I'm at or whether it's the amino acid supplement I started last month, but I believe that if I could incorporate some kind of weight training or such, that I would see some nice definition quickly. So thinking maybe push-ups? or just some beginning arm work... Oh I hate weights though... to me that is boring. I don't get a euphoria like I do with cardio.
In fact, on Friday, one of my co-workers commented that I'm getting too thin on top (around the shoulders) and need to start lifting a little weight.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
In order to get some euphoric feeling, i usually do not rest too much in my weights exercies. i'll alternate body parts...a set of arms, a set of abs...and do that 3 times rather than 3 sets arms, 3 sets abs. i try to cut down on some of my rest periods, especially at the beginning of my workout when i'm full of energy. near the end of my workout, i'll take more rest, but i'm already feeling good. with weights, try to increase your pace...or intensity...maybe if you can get your heart rate up a little bit? i do get the euphoric feeling..
don't listen to coworkers...or take their comments too literally. you never know with people...however, if you want a stronger top, it's pushups and/or planks that'll solve it.
Somebody rescue me from the Scale Games please!!!
Confession: I have 2 scales. Both are digital. My original scale weighs on the 0.5 pound. The newer (but had for quite some years) is an Ironman scale that measures to the 0.2 pound -- and also measures body fat%, water %, muscle %. I usually weigh in on the original scale -- partly because it's the scale I started my journey with but also because the Ironman scale weighs me higher by almost 2 pounds.
So I weighed in on the original scale this morning and saw 128.5. I usually weigh in 3x, so when the first 2 readings came out at 128.5, I didn't weigh in a 3rd time. I was truly hoping to see 127 or 126, but OK fine.
Then I stepped on the Ironman scale, and it showed my weight at 130.4, which is great - this is the lowest that this scale has weighed me in on in a LONG time - even when I was weighing in at 127 -- this scale would still show me at 131. Fat% was lower at 26.7% which is great.
So then I went back to my original scale to weigh in again -- I do not know why, maybe I thought it would read in at 127 -- and it weighed me in at 129.5!!! So I tried it again and it read 130.5!!!! So that was enough of that.
Today's weight is logging in at 128.5.
The weather here today is oppressively hot. I think I may have missed my window to walk. I put laundry out on my deck to dry, and after 10 minutes, it looked pretty much done. At least it's breezy which keeps the hot, humid air moving. I can't imagine what it would feel like if the air was stagnant. If it's not already, it will be too hot to even sit outside in the shade. So most of my weekend will involve trying to find things to do inside --- besides cleaning. There's plenty of that to be done but I certainly don't want to do any of that! (LOL)
EVENING EDIT: Went for a walk after I posted above, just barely in time. I was walking past the baseball fields and saw a little league team just arriving. I can't imagine being out in the sun much longer than I was there. Tried going out at around 3:30p for a little bit. It was alright in the shade and thank goodness for the breeze, but the bugs and the heat got to me after 20 minutes. What a waste of a day...
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
It's not really about the numbers themselves, but rather how they stand relative to each other, i.e. a loss or a gain, and then whether or not it's within maintenance range. I could almost here you saying "...just a snapshot in time..." :-D
also, i would be annoyed if 2 scales said different things. my current scale has wonderful measurements...it's good to only own one scale for the annoying of what you wrote about above!
in my parents' house, they did have two scales and i would use them both to compare - but they were both accurate with each other.
Congrats on YOUR excellent maintenance. I looked at a few pics that i decided NOT to post on fb, of my lower belly which has a small layer of fat on it...not happy with it because all the work i do doesn't show as much as it should...but once i get the cardio down pat, things will improve :) patience :) I will say maintenance is wayyyyy better than weightloss in terms of finding clothes that fit!
i am reading a very interesting book, called Fat?So! i didn't look for it, but simply noticed it while walking over to look at Romance novels in the library...!
I realized after reading Gains comment that I was being completely unfair to myself in making comparisons of my life to a television show. Talk about impossible standards for oneself! And I realized that I *DO* have passions in life that bring me joy. They are not all-consuming of my time, which is fine for now. Little slices of joy.
At my first real, full-time job, I worked with a much older man (in his 50s to my 22 yrs old) who was kind of who we all aspired to be, because his life seemed so different - although I'm not sure any of us really knew what his life was like, as he was an intensely private person. He spoke & read 3 or 4 languages fluently, unmarried, and baked as one of his hobbies. Often he would bring in one of his masterpiece desserts that he made over the weekend. I gained 30 pounds at this job, and lost 25 of it by the time I left.
I don't think anything food related would be a good passion for me because of the issues I have with food. So I'll just enjoy the fruits of others' passion in cooking and baking -- maybe 
since I'm sticking with the low-carb eating - because if I want to keep the weight off, that's what I have to do like 95% of the time, really. That's my reality.
lol you can compare life to tv shows...i get sad when you think what you say doesn't seem to matter! what i mean is, you are allowed your views and standards for what you want in life. the man that was single - he had a lot, but he didn't have family to take care of!
He was private which i can relate to so much - and by being private he had more time to himself to delve into his own passions...i'm guessing he was less social????? also, perhaps he had a photographic memory or good memory for language? perhaps he grew up already knowing 2 lanuguages!? that's so interesting & useful to be fluent in so many languages! were they similar like english/spanish/italian/french? or drastically different ones???
When you are a more private person, it's def possible to have more time to delve into your own passions. This is a reminder to me: if i want to run, i best keep scheduling it at times instead of being social! lol.
if you want to - you can experiment like i said earlier with low carb recipes especially for treats. see if you like a chocolate low carb cake. i want to invite you to a group that i'm in on facebook ....it's also for fasting, but i don't do that...i just like what my friend posts in terms of food and desserts that are "LCHF" low carb high fat. she's an inspiration to me - like that man you spoke of she's VERY creative and passionate. very much more than myself. she inspires me. she's also pretty big on exercise.
i agree that if you like to eat your desserts, it's prob not the best for weightloss. you can def maybe delve into something a little new, for new knowledge. you can probably bake the same exact items as you do now, and switch out the sugar for the equivalent in swerve or another ingredient that is lower calories. if i were you, it's something i'd do right away - to not by sugar anymore and use a "healthy" substitute that doesn't cause gas or bloating! stevia doens't bloat. i don't think swerve or erythritol do either. but def research that.
these are only suggestions :-P
but perhaps you can "improve" your dessert recipes to make them better...better for your lifestyle?! and when you bake a cake for a family celebration, try the new version....i hope it turns out right the first time , lol!!! you never know with first attempts!
but back to your first sentence above: we all make comparisons and relate each others' entries and experiences to things...don't feel bad with your standards. having standards, on your part, is a good thing. you inspire me..to do better.
in terms of standards, i am wanting to improve my own - basically my ideals about cardio. and to make it more regular. my class ended this week. so i have once again an extra free night during the weekdays. but next week, that night is used on the 4th...and i agree it's awesome to have that day off :) and i'll use it like a vacation...and not worry about my "cardio standards" till next week is over :-) like you said - passions and joy are so important, though being obsessive can hurt us in the long run.
btw, you have lots of passions! fitness is huge. you bake. don't you crochet?? sewing?? you read! ... and i thought you garden??? and i know i didn't list everything. oh, you are passionate in helping others...then the church! volunteering! you do a lot.
Thank you for the LCHF invite on FB! Somehow I ended up "joining" -- I can see why you like this page. I'm going to continue to follow this.
I haven't given much thought to getting seriously involved in LCHF or low carb cooking, since I have other family members' diets to consider at this time. However, there are a couple of things that I'd like to try to incorporate or try or master: spicy firm tofu and black bean brownies -- although the low-carb brownies posted on the FB page sound like they'd be more in line with what I'm trying to accomplish. (Beans have a LOT of carbs.)
I don't know that I really enjoy cooking. Frankly, because I work and my husband doesn't, I've gotten quite lazy in meal preparing because he does it. My husband enjoys cooking for the most part. Right now, I do not share that enthusiasm. However, at some point, I could see the possibility for me to develop this as an interest/hobby/passion. :-)
I took a little break.
Monday was insane. I have 2 co-workers dealing with their own crap at work that was causing me to be very anxious and aggitated just listening to them. One lady was dealing with a lost cell phone for a whole day. The other associate attorney would NOT stop TALKING about a problem on a file. STOP TALKING AND DO SOMETHING. All the talking isn't going to get anything done. That was Monday. I was a wreck by the end of the day.
Tuesday was awful. I was dealing with some physical problems that put me 10 steps behind the whole day.
Today was somewhat bearable. Everyone trying to finish up things before next week when the holiday is causing people to make mistakes. So instead of getting 1 final, corrrect, approved statement, I'm getting 3 or 4 statements, each one having to be corrected and sent back for approval, and then they're still wrong, so they have to be corrected and sent back for approval, and then they're still wrong... That was essentially my day in a nutshell.
The only thing I have to look forward to these days is coming home and watching Great British Baking Show and riding my bike after dinner. That show has me totally rethinking my low carb approach. I don't know if results are worth it. Oh how I wish I had a passion in life like these contestants....
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
If you followed me around for a week and video taped it all, you would have plenty of footage to fill 1/2 hour of TV.
Depending on the clips chosen, I could be portrayed as having the best life ever (dirt biking in the pristine mountains / woods, kayaking, camping with the family, playing recreational softball, etc).
Or I could be portrayed as having the most boring life ever (working extended hours several days per week just sitting in front of the computer, chugging energy drinks and stuffing donuts in my face just to make the work bearable, driving for hours on end for work appointments, struggling with weight issues for decades).
Lately i find exercise easier after a full meal and after i have digested somewhat...it seems my bike/jog is done better that way rather than coming back for a big meal afterwards.
Soon the weekend will be here...soon we'll all have Wednesday off :)
You know, it didn't even really hit me that we have Wednesday off until I read your comment. I don't know that it's still hit me yet... I'll probably show up at work by mistake!
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I'm right there with you. Out of sorts. OT appointment picked me up though... A little realistic hope to get things moving.
bearcountrygg on 07/12/2018:
Shake things up Donkey....do Something different...anything.....not necessarily diet related.…...just something new. Maybe start reading a new book...or an old book that you loved.....anything.....
horn_of_plenty on 07/12/2018:
i'm having a rough patch now too...very low energy and sleeping a LOT. skipping gym to rest.
maybe buy a real Cintronella plant ! my parents had one to help with the mosquitos in their backyard.
graindart on 07/12/2018:
Diet-wise, June was a rough month for me. And it followed through the first week of July. Didn't have any desire to eat right. Hate to admit it, but I actually sat there wondering if forcing myself to eat right was even worth it. The thought actually crossed my mind about just giving up and allowing myself to balloon back up to where I was before (283 lbs).
Now that I've been back on-plan for 4 or 5 days straight, I'm feeling in control again and can't believe that I actually considered giving up just a few days ago. It's crazy how much of a roller-coaster my emotions can go through when dealing with food and my desires to overeat junk. Thankfully the emotional roller-coaster is mostly just on food based stuff.