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view Horn_Of_Plenty bio page
Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Aug 23, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

I have life really easy and I'm destroying all my chances of success.

Once again, I will be starting over tomorrow and trying to eat better, without the binging.

4200 or so calories today.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

moogy on 08/23/2010:
OK, HOP, I am going to hold you to that. Tomorrow is the start of a new beginning. It is all up to you. Not withstanding any particular difficulties you have in your life. You can control what you put in your mouth. I know from experience that when I have my eating under control all the other problems I have seem to be manageable. I am sure you will find this to be true for yourself as well. So do we have a deal, we will both have a good week, eating only those things we have planned for and no diverging into unwanted territory?



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Aug 23, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

breakfast: 300

late lunch:  3 small plums: 110, many and many and many chips 1350, turkey slices 50: 1510

tsf: 1810.

pb on bread and a banana and yogurt 600.

ice cream: 1,000.

popcorn: 300

small bit of ravioli/spaghetti: 200

candy

3950 or so, still eating poorly.  i can't seem to kick the binging to the curb, at all.

 

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

V on 08/23/2010:
When you say many many chips exactly how many is that and what kind of chips? i love how you keep it real with your journal :) the up side of this is that you manage to stay at 137 :) i will never give up on you!


legcramps on 08/23/2010:
Crappy carbs are always my downfall. I can eat many and many and many chips as well. Hope the rest of the day is good!


moogy on 08/23/2010:
Yeah, see once you have one it's downhill all the way isn't it? Addictive things. I am hoping you pull it back after the tsf. Sending you love and hugs.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Aug 22, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

Today is already a major improvement.

gym for an hour of elliptical with a couple breaks.

breakfast was all before, during, and after the workout: croissant w. egg white, bran, and med iced decaf: 460. good.

snack: plum: 50

tsf: 510

late small lunch: protein bar(s)

dinner: cheesecake factory with my friend who i'll be visiting today sorta upstate, but not really so far up! lol.

total cal will be reasonable, for sure.

calories probably around 2200. good day. and sleeping over my friends house instead of driving back in the rain tonight!

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 08/22/2010:
An hour on the ET - WOW!


moogy on 08/22/2010:
Hello HOP, you stick to your plans and let nothing derail you, focus on what you need, not what you want and you will get through another day feeling in control. Hugs.


healthygirl on 08/22/2010:
Wow-- you only have 12 pounds to go, which means you are 20% to your goal! :) Keep up the good work!


loveray on 08/23/2010:
sounds like you had a great day!! and hope you had a bunch of fun with friends:)


V on 08/23/2010:
I am sure your weekend was a blast! I hope the rest of yor week goes well :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Aug 21, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

breakfast: 3 tofuti cutie bars 390 (400), pluot fruit 40, greek yogurt 100: around 540, eh, won't buy these tofutti bars, they are TOO SMALL...and not as tasty as i'd like them to be!

snack: 2 plums 90

lunch: salami on english muffin and strawberry banana greek yogurt 2% with bran crackers: around 470

tsf: 1100 good.

3pm: 3 servings chips 420, ice cream 460, more of that 600, tofu 100, cole slaw 220?

total: 2900...600 more in chips and really bad for you honey mustard pretzels

3500 so far.

some fruit/chicken/cookie with grandma: 200

lastly a peach: 100

3800 total. unhealthy, yes.

 

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

cleaneating on 08/21/2010:
I have never heard of a plout fruit,I will have to google it.


Donkey on 08/21/2010:
Honey, you're eating for the wrong reasons....


moogy on 08/21/2010:
HOP, I was hoping that you were going to be doing well when I got back. I am sorry that you are struggling, do you know why you are overeating, I mean inside your head, do you know what is triggering you? I wish I could sit down and have a chat with you. Hugs. XX



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Aug 20, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

(3 day calorie average for these past 3 days: 2260...much better than the original 3600 or whatever it was 2 days ago!)

breakfast peach 80, yogurt 130, oats 40 - 250

snacks: fruit: 130, yogurt 100, peanut butter 150, bran 50: 430

tsf: 680, good...jolly rancher 20

lunch: biscuit or croissant w/ egg white and bran. egg sandwich 300

early dinner: fruit and juice 110, tofu and salad 220

snack before and during gym for two hours of weights and a little bike: sugar free monster drink, worked PERFECTLY. 20 cal.

late snack: little ice cream bar 130, plain greek yogurt 100, plum 40: 270 ok!

total today: around 1620! wahoo. GREAT GREAT GREAT day. I hope to have many days like this.

my friend kept me busy, we went to the beach :-)

 

 

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

V on 08/20/2010:
I am liking this new attitude my friend! Well done


legcramps on 08/20/2010:
Looks very good! Have a great day :-)


Umpqua on 08/20/2010:
Your foods look great!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Aug 19, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

Oh my! Somehow I slept like 10 hours, at least. Slept without interuption till 10am.

breakfast: sugar free kondike 170, plum 60: 230

snacks while at gym/late breakfast eaten over a period of time: egg on biscuit w/ bran 3 slices: 350, coffee 50, coconut water 80: 480

late lunch, 2:30pm: microwave meal 300, tofu 100, red pepper 50, plum 50: 500

dinner: sandwich from starbucks, probably. 300

snack if needed: protein bar. 130

2 day combined average of yesterday and today is 2580 or so, that's OK

snacks: coffee 60, plum 50, yogurt 130, cereal 110: 350 total, good.

total: 1560 = AWESOME.

EXERCISE: 1.5 HOURS ON ELLIPTICAL. WAS GOOD!

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

getmebackto150 on 08/19/2010:
your plan looks good! Awesome job with the 1.5 hours on teh eliptical!!!


loveray on 08/19/2010:
i wish i slept 10 hours!! so jealous. love to you!


cleaneating on 08/19/2010:
Great workout!


moogy on 08/19/2010:
Hi there HOP, you obviously needed the sleep. I hope you are doing as well inside your head as you are on your food and exercise. I am sending hope and love to you.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Aug 18, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

(but yes, i did binge today.)

12 more pounds until 125 :-)  I weigh first thing in the morning. 12 more pounds doesn't even sound like much :-)  yes, i CAN do this...I CAN do this again!!! I know I can if I believe in myself.  I know that weightloss is very possible for me since I do have the knowledge of dieting, food, healthy eating, calories, exercise. I feel good about this....just 12 pounds...that's soooo doable!

happy wednesday! calories may be a bit high these past few days, but no full blown binges. That is what is most important right now.  :-)  And who knows, perhaps I am burning close to what I'm eating. With all the weightlifting, I do hope I have a high calorie burn, perhaps close or around 2200 at least. I don't really want to use online computers to figure out  my burn, the best way would be to buy health equipment to actually measure my burn all day and night, but i cannot afford that. for now, i'll hope I can burn at least 2000 everyday....

I really do think that on days when I am very active, I may have been able to burn 2500 cal over a period of 24 hours.  I wonder if this really is the case!

breakfast: 2 fruits 150, klondike sugar free which i will not buy another package of! 170. total: 320.

snack: plum 80

snack: bar 130

530.

BIG lunch: salad 100, tofu 100, microwave meal 260, CHIPS 400, peanut butter on roll 450: 1310 fine.

tsf: 1840, fine.

i'll count calories up to 2500 today, again, i think.

more binge after lunch: crackers 410, yogurts 300, peanut butter 300, chips 400: 1420

tsf: 3260...

snacking on jolly ranchers 130...

late snack of ice cream/plum: 230

total today: around 3620. not great at all, but i have moved on.

 

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

just42day on 08/18/2010:
Your goal is definitely w/in reach - particularly with your continued good food choices and exercises. Yes, I think it's major that there aren't binges. At least for me, I'm sure that's what started it all with my gains over the years. Keep up the great work! You'll hit your goal in no time!


loveray on 08/18/2010:
i took my weight down because i realize that i put a lot of stock in the number, rather than listening to my body. i still weigh myself weekly, but i am trying to lessen the guilt and shame around the number and rather, focusing on truly how every inch of my body feels, especially as related to hunger. i realize my mind has been doing most of the counting and eating for years. time for my body to relax, enjoy and feel hungry:) love to you- have a great day!


Umpqua on 08/18/2010:
You are so close to goal. I know how difficult it is, I'm having lots of struggles myself. We can do this!


moogy on 08/18/2010:
HOP, I hope you have a good day today and keep everything under YOUR control. I think that you are burning up a lot of calories with your exercise, but think about burning fat and not food. That way you will absolutely reach your goal. Have a wonderful day HOP, I hope it is a good one for you. Hugs.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Aug 17, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 138.0

good morning!  exercise: 35 min bike ride, weights for over an hour.

my legs are pretty tired, but i can't just not exercise. so, i'll be off biking soon!  and weights tonight after work.

breakfast: 540 in an apple, greek yogurts (one fat free, the other 2% strawberry banana chobani), a little bit of sprinkled oats, and a sugar free klondike bar.

snack: large peach and pieces of turkey deli meat: 140

big lunch: chicken 300, green beans 100, corn on cob 100, soup 100, fruit 160: 760

snack: ice cream 170

snack: iced coffee probably...2 of them, one a gift from a parent, it had caffeine along with some kind of flavoring and i ended up getting a little sick from it. but it was good and nice of her to give it to me of course! and a bar. 340 total here.

LATE dinner around 10pm after gym: biscuit w. egg white and 2 bran crackers, i was starved and needed something to "hit the spot" or i'd definitely binge. 250

total cal today: I'd say i did good, around 2450. :-)  I am happy with this.

 

 

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!

2luvself on 08/17/2010:
glad to hear your motivated don't over do it though.


loveray on 08/17/2010:
sounds like a good day to come!! enjoy and relax. xo


legcramps on 08/17/2010:
I could so totally not exercise if my legs were hurting; nice job with the strength of your determination. Love your breakfast and lunch choices!


V on 08/17/2010:
Did not know Klodike had sugar free anything! Thanks for the info :)


moogy on 08/17/2010:
That is a good day you have planned. I hope you stick with it and you get a good day under your belt. I was expecting a chocolate/oatmeal thingy this morning maybe tomorrow? Have a great day girl!!


getmebackto150 on 08/17/2010:
great job heading off the binge... also good job getting the exercise in... hope you are having a great day!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Aug 16, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 138.0

(just a little more than 10 lbs to go...that's NOT bad at all!) 13 lbs to my first goal.

Goal #1: get down to 135 in the next couple weeks.

Goal #2: Get down to 125-129 by Sept 9, my birthday.

Goal #3: Get to 125 by mid september

7:30am Breakfast: apple, large bowl of shredded wheat with milk, some peanut butter: 600.

early 11am lunch: yogurt 150, honey mustard pretzels 300, peanut butter sandwich 550 = 1,000

snack: large iced coffee 100, candies 100

exercise: walk at the park 4.5 mi

early dinner: low sugar ice cream 170, 2 taco shells 100, microwave tofu meal 260, 2 peppers 80: 620, 2 small tomatoes 40

candy: 30.

2490.

 

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!

2luvself on 08/16/2010:
hope your day is going swell.


legcramps on 08/16/2010:
looks good!


Moody3 on 08/16/2010:
Mmmmm~Shredded wheat! I should pick some of thst up!

Hope you're having a great day!


just42day on 08/16/2010:
4.5 mile walk! That's wonderful! Good for you :)


moogy on 08/16/2010:
I absolutely think you can reach your goal in a couple of weeks, especially if you keep up that good walking and make good food choices. You can do it!!


hollybelle on 08/16/2010:
YAY - good goals. Big walk!!


moogy on 08/16/2010:
I think I lose the most weight when I eat lots of veggies, they fill me up, keep me regular and I only eat the ones I like. The chocolate/oatmeal thingy sounds interesting. I remember when I was lifting weights - feeling so strong and having muscle definition under the extra weight on my arms. It makes you feel really powerful doesn't it. You are right - your life is in your hands, some days are going to be a struggle and some days are not so bad. This is my reality, I have learned to except my illness and work around it. I have a saying, "some days I sit and think and some days I just sit" LOL I try and keep a sense of humor about the limits I have on my life and look for the joy in everyday things. I cherish life's simple pleasures, flowers, a child's smile, a cool breeze on a hot day, just little things. I don't hope for big things anymore, but at your age I would look for the joy and look forward to an improved life. If you feel worse when you come out of your counsellor's office, maybe you need to see someone different, or tell them you feel worse. You may already do this, in which case ignore me. In fact you can ignore me altogether if you like, that is fine. I am sending you love and the biggest hug you have ever had. X


nita51 on 08/17/2010:
You Go Girl!!!! You're almost to goal = SO HAPPY FOR YOU & Hugs



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Aug 15, 2010
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

so i said what i said in my spiel about weightloss in the entry before.

BUT, i am still so lost with life. I honestly do not think i'm ever going to get out of my hole that i'm in.

I don't think I will ever be able to support myself and get a full time job. I really, really, don't think I can.

And at 27, turning 28, I'm pretty much on the verge of giving up on life.  The only reason I don't is because I am too afraid of the consquences of death.

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

moogy on 08/15/2010:
I think you need to go and speak to someone about how you are feeling. It really does sound as if you are depressed (I recognise the symptoms). If you do not have any spiritual or philosophical base on which to ground yourself life can be pretty tough. Please think about talking to a counsellor or psychologist, there is only so much we can do here. We can support your efforts and try to help but really I believe you need to speak to a professional. I hope you can get some support - you are asking for it by letting us know how you are feeling, lost, scared, desperate, in a dark hole you can't climb out off - I know these feelings because I have clinical depression. If you do want help your doctor is the first place to go - if you do, be honest with him/her about what is going on with you. I am feeling absolutely useless here typing away when all I really want to do is hug you and tell you that there is hope and there is something that can be done to help you feel better. All I can do is give advice and send love. xx


Donkey on 08/15/2010:
OMGosh, that's the same exact way that I feel!!!! The only reason I'm here is because I'm too afraid to die. Well, that and because I'm here for my kids. I have thought how awful it would be for my children if there was yet another "family secret" for them to have to deal with.

Listen, I think Moogy has a point, but let me tell you, I've done the whole therapist thing, and you know, therapy can only take you so far. My last therapist told me I was done, in the sense that I was "healed" and I'm still a total wreck. So I know that you know what you need to do if you start feeling dangerous to yourself. But unless you have great insurance or free counseling, I'd say save your money and save yourself. Because really, the only person who can change things is you.

This is what I think you should do: Keep up the job search. Expand your search area. In the meantime, volunteer at a hospital. You already do? Sign up for another one. And another, until you are just to the point of being almost too busy. Yes, do this. For one thing, it gets you in a hospital, so you can go to HR. You can see job postings. Perhaps you can speak with the receptionist, "Hi, I'm a volunteer, but I have a few questions..."

You are young, you're not tied down, you're reasonably healthy and attractive (very if you ask me - and no, I'm not gay). You don't have the constraints that I have, old with a name/reputation/record that is poisoned, a spouse, 2 kids -- all of these are burdens that you do not have to carry. I only see opportunity in front of you, no closed doors. Don't focus so much on that number. Age is relative at this point. As long as you look good, nobody cares how old you are. Don't compare yourself to others, unless it is to prove to yourself how fortunate you are.

Unfortunately, the economy sucks right now. That's the main problem, but it's the main problem in a lot of people's lives. I didn't realize this until we tried to rent out our old house (that desperately needs to sell). Let me tell you, things are bad with us, but there are a lot of people out there wishin' they were us, that's how bad.

So be careful not to blame yourself for things that are, in essence, out of your control.


lobster on 08/15/2010:
i feel exactly the same so often. i'm around your age and feel like i ahve done nothing with my life! i have received alot of support from those around me (therapists and doctors included) but still i struggle. i hear well what donkey is saying, but at the same time i also have been depressed (i am bipolar) and its a really scary place. if that is where you are at, you need to speak to someone who knows more than we do here! i agree with donkey and the idea of involving yourself in your community and volunteering, getting escape from our own heads really helps sometimes! (not that i'm always able to!) you can do this, things will come your way. just have faith and keep movig forward. do waht you can do for today and the rest will follow.


loveray on 08/16/2010:
hi HOP, im so sorry to hear about how you are feeling. i think it would be false to say that most people dont feel this way at some point in their lives. getting a job and truly being out of your own is a positively scary feeling!! but, facing the fears without the masks of food, parents, etc is so rewarding and so uplifting- once you get through the grips of fear. i often used to feel depressed every morning when i woke up when my mom was ill and i just felt like i was alone taking care of everyone. it was only until yoga teacher training that i truly had a "breaking open" of how precious and beautiful my and others lives are. it is such a gift and a miracle, by the way, to be walking around on this planet. all that said, is there something you could get involved in - where you would have a community, doing the things you absolutely love?? maybe it's a music community or a yoga community, but trust me, these people who seem to know the inner you give you so much more insight into who you are and then you begin to become content with truly being with yourself! again, it is a scary decision to ask for help, but if therapy and other methods are to stringent, i think you just really need to be loved and supported by those who know the real you and won't judge the real you. i love you! please contact me any time if you wish.


Moody3 on 08/16/2010:
You've gotten several perspectives from the ladies, and I have to agree with certain things each one says~So I don't have much else to add~Except know that you are not alone in your feelings~I am glad you opened up here, because it's important to get these things out in the open~I hope you have someone in your "real life" that you trust enough to open up with also~It's cathartic and healing to get these things off your chest~

Take care and God bless~



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