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Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Nov 30, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

5600 6600 forgot the macaroons...calories today.  (13 day avg is 2900 around 3000 approx per day.)

how things change: lol, from good to bad today: why??? probably has something to do with a sigh of relief. didn't sleep well at all last night, either. was thinking about him and it was just terrible to say the least....being up i mean. my heart was actually racing all night...until about 1am when i finally couldn't stay up any longer.  ( so seriously racing between 9pm-1am).

my day went well, some stress, but overall a nice day back.  was hungry and should, even though weather was horrible and rainy, of went to the gym.  i was tired though.  and i could have even slept. so, those would have been other things i might have done to avoid this binge. thing is, i don't really regret it right now.  and i have yet to add up all the calories. thing is, i have a goal (had a goal?) as usual, to lose weight this month. perhaps my goals are too lofty.

and once again, TOM is here. that might have to do with this. tom, lack of sleep, and just the events of thanksgiving break/weekend.

btw, i finally had the "i ****ed up and now it's ok to eat anything to the point of sickness (feeling sick from fullness).  it's really horrible. and i was finally able to wear my smaller pants bc i was finally not bloated in my stomach today. unfortunately, i'll be bloated tomorrow....but i do feel like studying. which is a good thing.

how am i feeling?  relaxed after this binge. and also antsy at the same time, knowing i have pushed my weightloss back and will continue to do so. and at the same time not worrying about the weightloss and sometimes even being fine with my weight now.  not that weight is everything.

i guess i am lonely at the moment. i want to see this guy again and i don't want things to ever get f-ed up.  that's really it. i don't think there are any other feelings. the pain from eating so much pretty much makes me UNABLE to think of any other feelings.

last night i was practically shaking thinking about him as he went home on his flight to florida....wondering when he'd finally text, which he did.

5:50pm edit: huge binge to the point of pain:

3:40 kashi bar while leaving school: 140  (1020 total cal. up to this point today)

4:00: taco bell chicken chalupa: 400.

4:30: wendy's fries:350      , like 2/3 of a kinda cold and leathery 1/4 pounder without cheese: 400    ,       oreo frosty : almost 1,000 for that frosty...total here: around 1750.

4:30 and on: mcdonalds: 4 pc chicken tenders (they gave me an extra): 650     , cinnamon bites: 500    , oreo mcflurry which was crappy but i did eat it just to fill up:   600 (surprised it wasn't more calories...?)    (total at this place: 1750)

and on: some of these crappy jells with sugar coating: 250 or so, some apple crisp my mom cooked (also not very good or crispy more like soggy from thanksgiving and now it's already monday tasting) 250 or so. very sick feeling.  and a chocolate or two 50 more.  (550...i'll round up to 650 here....bc it's better to overestimate than underestimate...)


monday early in the day entry:

very healthy a good day so far. except tom is here, but that's not a bad thing really.

980 cal. balanced meals and snacks.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Nov 29, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

12 day avg is 2680...getting better :-)

breakfast: cooked strawberries 80, cereal and milk 270, coffee 50: 400.

snacks: tea and milk 100, banana 150. 250.

snack: bar 160

dinner: eggplant  and some celery and tofu and some noodles cooked, seasoned, sauced...400, crackers 260 total here: 660. 


total cal: 1470. perfecto.  :-)

exercise: bike for 30 min, and weights/back/abs for probably close to 2 hours at the gym.

absolutely great day.  :-)  and a healthy day. good on fiber, veggies, carbs, etc.

 even good on fruit.

side note: i miss him i feel like crying (but i never will actually do that.) 

overate at dinner bc i could.  glad i stopped before it got out of hand. i made myself a big portion so i was more than full and didn't want to reach for anything else.  I am feeling really good. prepared for the week and it's only 7:40pm.  And the gym gave me extra energy so i'm feeling great. 

I do feel quite needy right now. wish i really did have a boyfriend here. someone a bit more real than what i have now. i wish he wasn't lacking balls so much. it would have been quite nice to see him alone this weekend. but i am happy with how it went overall.

i hope that when he comes on christmas things will be even smoother. basically, that means some time alone.

i'm feeling a little tense, nervous, shakey.  i actually have time to read, i don't want to study. so i'll read this book i had taken out of the library and saved it just for this occasion of a little extra time. no more chores tonight. 

because this weekend went well, i'm very motivated to stay on track and keep up with the gym until christmas/new years (and beyond of course, but this is my short term goal.)

anyway, my heart is racing a little and it's a little difficult to relax but to the book i go.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

cybermom4 on 11/30/2009:
Congratulations - you've really come a long way!! :)

Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Nov 28, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

(past 11 day calorie average has lowered a little bit to 2790)

although donkey's advice was fantastic and the best, i didn't take it last night. i started the night with a shot of tequila and went on to have 5 malibu rum/diet cokes. yup. i was fine. it seems i metabolize liquor REALLY quickly. got really sweaty too, while dancing. lol. what a great night. i'll remember donkey's advice for future occasions.

he kissed me while we were out at the bar. i was totally not expecting him to make a move last night. we danced a lot and it was the best night i have had in definitely over a year (better than the wedding i went to two weeks ago!)

i am in heaven right now.

so happy.  we prob we not hang out again this weekend as he is pretty busy and will be going back to florida until christmas but this is a start.  i am so glad it all worked out.


lunch: sorta healthy.

snack: protein bar.

dinner: healthy. but i did kinda indulge.

so overall calories might be about 2250. but i'll just record it at 2250 bc i had an overall good day.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

selina on 11/29/2009:
Awww, how romantic, I LOVE unexpected kisses! Have a great week!

Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Nov 27, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

cal are prob more, but i'll say 2250 for today. i prob burned them all off with dancing a lot and the gym for two hours and a walk.

good morning. i'm relieved i didn't overeat in terms of calories yesterday. thankful i made the right choices. and a healthy dinner to boot. lol. anyways...

breakfast: oatmeal made with milk and peanut butter: 360, coffee 50, too much nasty jello 150: 560 total.

snack: i think a milkshake...180

snack: strawberries

snack: kashi bar 180

snack:flatbread 300

light dinner: turkey and green beans: like 220 or so.

tsf: 1450.

out for drinks tonight at the bar with many people.  i plan on drinking too much.   nervous like crazy to meet up with this guy, after TWO LONG years. :-(  my expectations are nonexistant. i hope it will be better than i expect it to be.... 

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/27/2009:
Good for you! Reading your menu so far makes me want to have some fruit for lunch. I will remember to include that.

When you go out to drink tonight, try to alternate liquor drinks with either club soda or water. Even Diet Coke. That will keep you busy and social (a glass in your hand) and better hydrated.

Have a good time tonight!

PS About the Ritz crackers thing: I've noticed that I tend to sabotage myself in this manner as well. I will have a little munch before the meal, and then the little munch becomes a big munch. But I still want to eat the meal, too! Must curb the munches.

loveray on 11/27/2009:
who is this boy you are meeting tonight?? xoxo

geevee on 11/27/2009:
Hi! Just wanted to say Hello. I'm back again and still trying to lose weight. How's your job situation? Last time I was on you were talking about trying to find a full time job. Well, in this economy, I guess it's the wrong question to ask unless, that is, you di find one before the crash.

I like Donkey's suggestion about alternating drinks!


Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Nov 26, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

overall calories: around a nice 2200. great! :-) and cheers to a good tomorrow....a good tomorrow night.

happy thanksgiving! :-)

breakfast: shake: 180. coffee 50: 230.  :-)

shake #2: 200

shake #3: 200

tsf: 630. great....haha, and ritz crackers.240 more.

tsf: 870 its ok....well, not really, but more ritz: total so far today: 1270...ew?  (but i could still eat like 1,000 cal and be considered "ok" for today...) and why not? i should not deprive myself bc it will just BACKFIRE. and, it's not like eating that much today will affect my general appearance tomorrow night.  i just need to be aware of what i'm eating, rather than be too regimented tonight. it will be hard for me bc all of the foods i'm eating tonight have added oils and butters. EVERYTHING. except for the salad. and the food is GREAT.  but, i must remember, this is NOT the last time i'll be eating these foods. and i must begin to put a little more consideration over how much i'm putting into my body daily. so i'll watch dinner. probably choose from some things, not everything. and i will try hard. eating a nice portion of turkey will help me feel satisfied, so even though i don't love it, i'll eat it for the healthy protein and to get full...bc i need that feeling in order to get through this night and not overeat. i will probably have no dessert, which is OK, bc i do only have 1,000 cal to spare, which is generally a lot for any other meal...

with the ritz, last night my dad threw them into my room after being highly disgusted i could eat the other two whole sleeves, each on a separate day but all at once. the ritz were bought less than a week ago and i finished all three sleeves of crackers in the box, each on a separate day and all at once basically.  today, i ate half the sleeve before and then a little later finished it off. I am not good at setting aside carbs for later.  or not finishing a sleeve when i know that the overall calories is not even that bad, but it is more than i wanted before a thanksgiving meal.

i have been thinking about him all day today. i've had a bit too much time on my hands. i helped my mom this morning with a bit of cleaning and not that much in the cooking area.  i did go out for a bike ride early in the afternoon for a little under an hour.  that's when the crackers all came in, after it.

while eating the crackers, i could not stop. i was feeling cold haha, rightfully so at first because i just had a cold milkshake.  after finishing the crackers, the last few servings not even as tasty and appealing as the first, i took a shower to get ready for this guy coming over. i was freezing in there and pretty much could not warm up unless the water was on full blast hot...so luckily by the end i was doing better. 

this morning i felt miserably tired.  i guess lack of sleep is still playing games with me. 

with him, i wasn't able to speak to him while he was waiting for his flight at the airport bc he was texting other people too. so we shall see. tomorrow night will be interesting. he's occcupied my day too long.

Thanksgiving: i guess i'll take a little of everything no need to be restraining...right? but, i may back off on dessert....hmmm, it's not like i can't have all these things to eat in the next few days...i will try to keep calories lower.  i will feel better if i do...but i will eat the things i want...which right now i'm just craving the cornbread....but then again, i do care right now more about calories than anything else...i see the guy i like tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Nov 25, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

(past 8 days = 2970/day)...( to make it easier, 3,000 per day for 8 days.)

breakfast: 360

bar: 140

tea and yogurt: 200

bar: 150

mcdonalds late lunch: 550: 1400 tsf

snack: 160 bar: 1560 tsf

dinner: wendy's small fries, chicken nuggets, small salad 20. total here: around 600.

total cal today: 2150 or so. nice day. happy. going to bed really soon!  (it's not even 8pm but i'm really, really, really tired.!)

exercise: 15 min cardio lol....and over an hour of weights! wahoo. i would have stayed longer but had an errand to do! :-) happy early thanksgiving.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Nov 24, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

breakfast 350

snack 130

lunch 450

snack: 240

snck 160

around 1350

afternoon binge: crackers 500 ritz 600, pb 300,yogurt 150, pie 200, cookies 350, ice cream 100, candy 250, cookies 250, 350 microwave horrible meal. i am gonna gain so much weight eating this way....i'm so anxious with my tests and to see this guy friday...i'm such a dork!

  3050. just on the binge: total cal today: 4400 cal! whoa. ****. i have GOT TO calm down AND take a walk!


Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Nov 23, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

(past 6 days avg per day: 2865.)

breakfast: 330

snack: 130

lunch: 400

snack: 340

tsf: 1200

dinner: bit overboard on crackers but they were tasty (pretzels and ritz) 7*80 (560), 120, small souflee 200, stir fry 270, milkshake 170: 1320

total: around 2550 which is fine by me!  :-)

exercise: nada. to bed early.  gotta study.  just working on getting through till wednesday...then, wednesday night, my last day of school this week, i'll be at the gym and enjoying it!  lots of weights. tomorrow a walk in the afternoon as i get out an hour early tomorrow. but, wednesday, i may get out really early....and i'll be at the gym for sure!

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/23/2009:
I could not find you on Sparkpeople, so I will try to find another way to contact you.

Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Nov 22, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

late breakfast: 300 healthy.

snacks throughout teaching lessons during the day: powerbar 150, large tea with milk 80, yogurt 130 , diet green tea 20: 380

dinner: salad 80, pretzels 100,tofu 200, microwave meal 350, jello 50: 780

total: 1450 or so. nice.

exercise: fantastic: 25 on elliptical, tons and tons of weights, back, abs, pushups. i think i spent almost 2 hours at the gym!


Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

loveray on 11/22/2009:
sounds like you had a really fun weekend! hope all is well. xoxo

Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Nov 21, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

total cal: around 2250. good.

exercise: very good. biking for 30-40 min and a 45 min walk/jog.

Breakfast: nice bowl of fiber one with some pumpkin pie spice added and coffee: 340

snack: orange. 80. :-)

snack: yogurt

lunch: will be a healthy meal made with stirfried spag. squah, tofu, celery...maybe some other veggies too.

snack: a bar of some sort probably.

dinner; out to dinner with two lovely girls!

exercise: cardio day.  will walk and perhaps bike around the community! nice.  so glad i got weights out of the way last night so i can do them again on sunday...then on tuesday and thursday. works out well for me in the upcoming week. i'm glad the gym is open on thursday!

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/21/2009:
Have fun eating out with your gal pals!

I'm on Facebook now. Can I contact you on your Sparkpeople account so that I can "friend" you?

selina on 11/22/2009:
Thanks, Hop, for stopping by! you did very well with your exercising, wow! keep it up! I hope you had a great time with your girlfriends.

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