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Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Apr 14, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin.

- Ivan Turgenev, novelist, poet, playwright

 

edit: i did binge today.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

WI_HashiHypo on 04/14/2009:
That is so very very true


loveray on 04/14/2009:
love this quote- who are we not to shine?? xoxo


legcramps on 04/14/2009:
no kidding... but i continue to hope lol!


Umpqua on 04/14/2009:
Checking in on you. Tomorrow will be a better day :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Apr 12, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

last week was a blowout.

i realize i'm 26...optimal age to look great.

this weekend wasn't great but wasn't horrible (saturday and sunday). i think friday was really messed up if i remember right.

tonight i had a large slice of this potato based cake with frosting and coconut.

i won't give up, as usual. BUT, i will say that my health should come first and foremost. i will stick to my exercise. and try to not take what i look like for the time being (fat) too seriously.

i am considered overweight for my height.

it's all about moderation. today was pretty moderate, besides the cake at dinner.

tired, allergies....

phone call tonight with this new guy from a dating online site....i'm nervous.  i am not a phone type person....(see, loveray!)

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 04/12/2009:
Like you, I, too, am considered overweight for my height (5'8"). Not supposed to go over 154. I wear stretch 8's jeans and want to comfortably wear non-stretch 8's jeans. But I'm eating a lot more lately and am mostly maintaining 160. Like you say, moderation. :-)


selina on 04/13/2009:
It's so hard to lose weight (for me) when it's allergy season. I took the allergy shots last fall for a long time, nearly 2 months, but it seems like it didn't work. when I was travelling I didn't feel the allergy as much, but now that I am back home, I have the symptoms again. take it easy and don't forget to take the allergy medication. Stay well!


loveray on 04/13/2009:
yea my allergies make me so lethargic too! i cannot wait for more beautiful weather, sans pollen. i hope you had a good weekend. xoxo



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Apr 08, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

not really in the mood for a long entry.

binged at breakfast, later had a non-nutritious early lunch....

big dinner: passover seder tonight and tomorrow night.

my size 8 jeans are quite too snug for my liking. was almost about to buy a size 10. nah, i'll just have to work on this diet thing again. but obviously i should enjoy dinner tonight and tomorrow. it's food i don't eat all the time. ha, forget about looking good at this wedding! oh well, it's too late.

i did go to the gym today for an hour on the elliptical. skipped school (reason for my breakfast binge). i'm having company over the next two nights and i needed some time to study and go to the gym, etc. lol, so i eat, naturally.

calories today will be around 3,000-4,000.

tomorrow should be the same, except i have to go to school. i will stop at the park to exercise before coming home tomorrow.

ugh.....not so good. i am trying but not near enough to take the reins and become procative to help myself.

no weightloss goals. but, starting thursday, i'll work on 1500 cal per day w. daily exercise. again.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/08/2009:
girl, what will we do with ourselves? i need a push too. let's do this?


WI_HashiHypo on 04/08/2009:
When you binge, you average 5,000 calories. Why not allow yourself on purpose a week of 4500 calories per day, then take it down 500 calories at a time? Not saying to make yourself eat that many, but ALLOW yourself to go over and not try to 'make up' for it by doing extra exercise or dropping calories the next day to 1200 or anything. Eat at least 1500 a day so you don't set yourself up for metabolic syndrome, but ALLOW yourself to eat 4500 calories a day if you want. Don't carry over calories, don't subtract calories, just let it be what it is. Keep it simple on yourself. You are under enough stress with things at home and school, don't let your nourishment stress you. Then the next week, drop it to allowing yourself 4000 calories if you want, but no less than 1500. Then 3500, 3000, etc.

You look at food as a reward and an escape. So, if you need food as a reward and as an escape or sense of joy in your life right now..why not make friends with it? And once you see that you DO have control over deciding to eat at least 1500 calories a day, but no more than 4500 or 3500 or whatever it is that week, you will remember what it is like to make better choices like you used to before it all got ahead of you.

You can't go from eating 5000 calories a day and limited exercise to 1500 calories a day and two hours worth of exercise, without your body totally freaking out. You know that because that's what's been happening for a few months now. What would be wrong with starting over by whittling down your current average and getting back to where you were? That way there isn't a severe shock to your already taxed system, and you can stop being afraid of handling a 1500 calorie day.

You are right, if you keep going you will be morbidly obese in no time. And if you think a snug size eight is bad, try a snug size 22. The whole journey of losing weight and creating a manageable lifestyle isn't about doing it right and perfect every single day according to a 'book' or what other people are doing. It is what works for you. And so if you do the step down thing it might take you an extra few weeks to lose weight, but you would be learning how to regain a little more control and taking the pressure off of yourself. Then when your mind clears a little more and your schedule is a little less hectic, you can do more. There is no way I could survive on 'green drinks' and 'seaweed' without going totally crazy and eating 5000 calories worth of fast food in one sitting.

You might have to face that what worked before for you, just isn't working right now. Trust me I KNOW how that feels.

You will find your way again, HOP. But for now, you need to release the pressure.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Apr 07, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

lots of binging today too.

 

despite by binging, i did go to the gym for 65 minutes on the elliptical and i did ride my bike for 20 minutes.

calories are by no means good. around 3500-4000 today.

honestly, i'm at a critical point where it's best i start eating right. before i become obese. i work in a health field and i see with my own eyes what happens when people do not care about their health. and i've been acting like an idiot for the past 1.5 years. I need to help myself but i've failed every time. i don't have good insurance to see a psychologist and i personally don't want one. I cannot live like this anymore.

i have NO control when i start to binge. and once i go to one fast food restaurant i

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 04/07/2009:
Sending positive vibes your way. You can always start fresh tomorrow.


WI_HashiHypo on 04/07/2009:
I found out that overeaters annonymous has online meetings! I went to one last night, it was really very interesting. =) take care!


thinnside40 on 04/07/2009:
Have you ever had a panic/anxiety attack?...... I have and if that isn't a wake up call to be concerend about a person's heart...A heart-attack crosses my mind EVERY stinkin' time, even though I have changed my way, I still worry about what damage I HAVE done over the years to my organs......

YOU HORN!!!!!! YOU CAN do this.......... Believe in you as much as most of us do..... :-)


nimony on 04/07/2009:
Hi Horn, okay, I've been in your shoes. Can't seem to get out of the downward spiral. Right? Feeling lost, aggravated, can't seem to get back on track. Right? There's another approach you can take. It's called, "As if...." You act "as if" you are already doing the right things, the positive steps, the proactive actions. You tell yourself positive things about you and what you're doing. You do positive things as though you've been doing them all along. And the more you do these positive things and reinforce them with positive actions, the more your own actions will in fact become positive. It's kind of crazy, but it really works. And the other thing to do is concentrate on what you're doing that's right. Compliment yourself on positive actions, no matter how small or big. Yeah, we all fall of the wagon once in awhile, me included. But that's okay. We're only human. The trick is to put that behind us, continue giving ourselves positive reinforcement for ANYTHING we do that's positive, no matter how large or small, and moving forward in spite of everything else. YOU CAN DO IT, HORN! Look how much you've grown, how far you've gotten, and how well you've done so far!!!! We have faith in your abilities. Have faith in yourself! You have been doing it and you can continue to do so!!! I believe in you, Horn. Believe in yourself!


MoodyMe on 04/07/2009:
I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling..I can't really say much more than what the others have said..I just hope that you can find the strength that IS INSIDE YOU to make the changes you need to make..

Have you ever thought of eating differently? I mean, I notice from your menus that you eat a lot of veggies and sea weedish..tofu stuff...ever thought of making up a menu that includes more "real" food? Still eat all the veggies you want..but maybe add more "satisfying" foods also~that stays within a certain caloric range? I couldnt eat what you do and feel satisfied..therefore I would be setting myself up for a binge..Just a thought..

Hugggz~



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Apr 07, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i was doing so well. happy, going about my business. and then, bam!!! overeating. so, in the past two days, i've had 5000-6000 calories PER DAY.

i'm just not going well.  a lot of my teacher friends are on vacation. we haven't had a vacation since December. so, yeah, i'm feeling it. 

i'm very swollen and screwed up from binging on fast food all of yesterday, even breakfast.

i just need to get through the day....

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 04/07/2009:
Dangit! Sorry about that........ I know the swollen & screwed up feelings from past fast food indulgences...... WATER WATER WATER & try to stick to your healthier side.... YOU CAN!!!!!!!!


starfish on 04/07/2009:
*hugs* Thank you for your recent comments.


legcramps on 04/07/2009:
Have a good day today!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Apr 05, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

despite an awesome weekend. i binged. not sure why. but i did. the end. calories i didn't even count after awhile. probably around 5,000 at least. not good.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

goal for today: 1900 cal.  the following menu is subject to change...

breakfast: really in the mood for cereal w. milk. and a sweet cereal, that is. will go to the store and look around when i buy the newspapers.  i think i will have 2 yogurts w. cereal mixed in....i ended up buying kozy shack ready grains. they came in a pack of 2. so i had both. crazy me. and 2 yogurts. too filling and too much. but too sweet to pass up....total: 540.

snack: fiber one bar 140

snack 2: another healthy bar, no fake stuff 240

total so far: 920...

lunch: edamame, bagel w. egg and bacon. oh yes. 800.

1720...

dinner: i have no idea.

exercise: bike 20 min, park 4.5 miles. fantastic. the weather is just beautiful. right now, even though i'd like to lose weight like the rest of the world, my focus is solely on improving my fitness while not gaining any more weight. it feels so good to be able to accomplish more and more fitness-wise. i'm so glad it's warm enough to enjoy biking. :)

 

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

WI_HashiHypo on 04/05/2009:
Good luck today! My boss told me about some sprouted bread he gets at a natural store. I'm going to try it and see how it makes me feel. Have a fantastic day and great day yesterday!


Donkey on 04/05/2009:
Donkey was here! Great job on the cardio!!!!


nimony on 04/05/2009:
Hey Horn, you're not alone when it comes to days when we eat way too much food. I did the same thing today. So, it's only one day, and that day is behind us now. Tomorrow is a new day, a day to reconfirm our goals, and get back on track. Congratulate yourself for all the good things you are doing, esp. all the exercising! And don't beat yourself up on too much food today. Accept it, put it behind you, and move on. Today, I'm speaking as much to me as I am to you because I did the same thing! We're in good company! :)


loveray on 04/06/2009:
i hope you had a good time despite the binge. sending love!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Apr 04, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: egg whites, bread: 310

snack: 260 healthy carb/fat/protein bar.

lunch: finally. amy's macaroni and soy cheese w. kelp: 390

total so far: 960...

snack: fiber one bar!!! yes.  140

snack 2: chex mix bar...with fiber! 130 was good.

dinner: microwave meal with kelp. salad. 450...dessert of 2 yogurts mixed. total: 650. good....ehh, some cottage cheese, flavored. 130 that was the only overboard thing i ate, in my opinion. haha. so total: 790

total cal: 2020...approx.     good day. that's all.

so far: gym elliptical 40 min. bike 20 min. park 5 miles. whoa. was great!

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

MoodyMe on 04/04/2009:
Looks like you're having a great day!! Yay!!!!


mommyturn on 04/04/2009:
Looks wonderful!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Apr 02, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

tomorrow's plan: 1900 calories....i SHOULD be able to do that!!!!! :l  i better! arg.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

final friday edit: 2320. showed some control instead of eating 2500 like i originally was going to stick to after already going to high. 2320 is better. i REALLY am starting to pick up with exercise. i'm feeling the energy of spring! i am still hungry a little bit though.... :( haha....caved. back to 2550. fine! it's what i was going to have anyway.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

breakfast: egg omelette on a roll. 250 i threw some out! i love it when i actually DO listen to my body. not often, it's a rareity....and usually only at breakfast. almost never at dinner...i usually have nowhere to go after and i like the full feeling. yeah, bad habit....

snack: FIBER ONE bar. it's my addiction right now. 150 (i realize i do better with these sugary bars during BUSY mornings, rather than mornings in class with downtime....bc they only satisfy me during busy times not when my mind is bored so i chose another snack an hour later....)

snack 2: soy chips in a HORRIBLE white cheddar flavor. NEVER AGAIN. 150

lunch: subway. not in the mood for green beans. i can tell already. it will be a sandwich and chips.  750 WAS WORTH IT.

snack: bad protein bar, followed by diet drinks galore and a bad for me but good tasting sugar free dink: 200

another snack bc i was not in the mood to go to the gym right away: 3 servings chips, apple: 550. ehh, worth it.

dinner: i think it will be mac and cheese of some sort and some kelp. around 450

total today: will be around 2500. but you know what, i want to keep that total. so i'm not changing my dinner to make this day a low cal day, 2500 it is, the end.

exercise: raining all day. at some point, i'll get myself to the gym.....ehhh, i should have went RIGHT after work and before the chips!

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 04/03/2009:
awesome friday plan!!! hope you are able to relax and enjoy the weekend. xoxo


thinnside40 on 04/03/2009:
I love those fiber one bars.... They don't have near as much sugar (nor refined) as some other bars out there..........

As for Meg's sickness.... No X-rays, just the Dr. couldn't hear any breathing when listening to the right side, wheras the left she could...Meg was wheezy still too..... 2 Prednisone 20mg the first day, then 1 qd for 4 days will be added if she isn't any better tomorrow evening.... I HATE THOSE PILLS!!!!! Albuterol Q 4 hrs AND the Ceftin 250mg bid is the first protocol.....

Have a great weekend!


loveray on 04/04/2009:
morning! i hope you had a great night. i was thinking- let's chat on the phone this weekend!! i feel like we have been friends for over a year and i have never talked to you. i will send you my # on facebook and if you have some time this weekend, i would love a chat. xoxo



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Apr 02, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

fancy breakfast: lite roll 100, avocado slice 80, 1 egg 80, egg whites 60, spray 30?: total: 360 nice.

snack: will be a fiber one bar. 150 or so.

lunch: beans,oil, almonds, another fiber roll 360.

snack: fiber one bar, powerade: 170

snack 2: apple 100

dinner: microwavable meal w. kelp 370, salad w. dressing 30 and a pepper 50. total: 450

total calories: 1590 plus a snack so 1900. still very happy.  (by the way, i don't count all the sugarfree gum i chew. nobody's perfect!)

exercise: probably the park if nice out....otherwise the gym. :) did good this week with fitness. :) happy!

i wish you all the best and promise to comment soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 04/02/2009:
i like both the fanciness and happiness...you deserve it! xoxo


MoodyMe on 04/02/2009:
You're doing great!!! Love the positive attitude!! Good for you!!


loveray on 04/02/2009:
great day baby!!


thinnside40 on 04/02/2009:
Looks terrific!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOod Job!


WI_HashiHypo on 04/02/2009:
I need to get some avocado this weekend. Good stuff!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Apr 01, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

930 cal throughout school...

snack: fiber one bar yum!, drink 165

large, good dinner: spinach w. lite dressing 30, microwave meal w. kelp 370, BANANA (was big and worth it!!!) 150. total: 550 or so. (probably more).

total today: 1645. NICE!!!! i'm VERY happy with this number!

exercise: abs, pushups, 60 minutes on elliptical at the gym.

i am VERY satisfied with my day today. i ALMOST stayed home bc of rain and didn't exercise bc of just not wanting to go/laziness. however, i'm sticking to this plan of exercise EVERY day. and it's working. meaning, i feel better about my fitness. i wake up too early already so i'd never exercise in the morning right now. so i just have to remember that it's a priority right after school - i go out either straight from school to walk at the park in my scrubs or change at home for the gym and soon biking! :)

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

nimony on 04/01/2009:
Very well done. You have every reason to be proud of yourself! You are making important lifestyle changes and it is serving you very well. Keep up the excellent work!


Umpqua on 04/01/2009:
You are doing great, and I am envious of your exercise. I hope to have some time and energy to do real exercise again soon. And great job with your food and calories. We all have our ups and downs with eating (for me it is so hard to stop unhealthy habits once I fall off the wagon) but you recognize your problem areas and move forward toward a healthy lifestyle. Good for you and keep it up!


thinnside40 on 04/01/2009:
Happy Thursday thoughts sent your way!



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