so i did screw up, yet again. never have i been so unsuccesful. last time i acted like this was freshman/sophmore year of college. but, i do know what i have to do. NEVER go back for more after i eat. simply give myself a certain amount of food and STOP after. do NOT go back for more. If i can do this, i can lose the weight. They say that you should not try to lose weight and battle an eating disorder at the same time. i don't know about that. however, I will work on portions more...but mainly NOT going back for more when i am done with the first portion. that's the goal for the week and weeks to come. it's all i can do and it should work. otherwise i'm hopeless.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
possible plan on meals:
3400 today. whoa. not so good. went back for more, should have been more logical, knowing that when i reach for more (after i have finished a meal) i binge.
breakfast: bran, milk, 3 whole fresh figs (parents went to some event last night and brought home lots of figs! haha). 290.
snack: SMOOTHIE. big one with choc. flavor, lots of fiber, almond milk, banana. 230
lunch: english muffin, 2 egg omelete w. whole tomato?...maybe kombucha 410
binge right after lunch: pizza, ice cream w. toppings, cake: 1350....pb and dried fruit 550 more
2280...2830...oops....pretzels, bread: 3050..other stuff: 3400.
snack: LARGE green drink w. greens, ginger, carrot. 140??
it is HARD to not reach for more food once i'm done. wow. difficult to get back into the grind!
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
feeling good today. started out well and had a healthy snack. I have learned NEVER to go back for more (except for a light drink of kombucha, tea, coffee, etc) after a meal. This as helped me not to binge in the past few days.
breakfast: bran, craisins, milk: around 250
snack: peanuts, apple: 230
lunch: dunkin donuts around 400. huge coolatta w. skim milk
snack: not so great at all. at grandma's house...4 medium sized cookies and a large banana. 550
snack again: grandma: little less than a cup of raisin bran. 150
dinner: mix of stuff. 400...but then had another english muffin w. peanut butter. not really necessary. but then i stopped, which is great. total 680 for dinner.
total: a little high, but not the end of the world. 2280. :) I didn't blow it! :)
exercise: 40 minute bike ride and a short walk. :) fine!
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
Keep the good habits going strong, my friend, and have a great sunday!
another good day, although my stomach was hurting throughout the day because it was still bloated and full. but it's much better.
cereal, milk, craisins: 250
snack: apple 80
lunch: smoothie 200??? I hope that the no sugar added splenda juice has VERY LITTLE calories. there's no nutrition info...i may contact that company.
snack: green drink! :) 250?
dinner: bran english muffin, yogurt/tomato sauce, egg. salad/greens. dessert: kombucha. 450-500.
total calories approx. 1280
walk: 3 mi. ankle hurt a bit after. losing weight will prevent this from happening.
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
Congrats on another good day..... 3 mile walk...Whoohoo!
better day today...but real bloated and scared because of the feeling i was having in my stomach. it's better now.
breakfast: will have to guess on calories. leftover cereals with milk. 350
lunch: big smoothie 200
snack: fresh juice from green vegetables, beets, carrot, and ginger. not sure. about 2.5 cups. maybe 250?
dinner: one whole grain english muffin, peanut butter, greek yogurt, cinnamon. 400
total: 1200 on the dot (approximately!) haha.
the best part of today was my bike ride. it felt so great.
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
good day yesterday, bad day today.
after work binge
total calories: didn't count, around 5500. eesh.
i don't know. came home, ate, and don't want to walk.
gonna study. perhaps watch the presidential debate. btw, the presential debate is going on about ten minutes away from my house. kinda cool to know they candidates are a couple towns away!
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
breakfast: challah roll w. an egg. hamburger bun w. 2 tbsp peanut butter. 750-800 or so
lunch: smoothie and soy chips 400
snacks/dinner: green drink; greek yogurt w. bran cereal; broccoli slaw, tomatoes, mustard, tofu, apple: 560 approx.
total: 1760 approx.
to those of you who left positive comments regarding my ability to have a great day, i did do that - despite it's challenges. thanks all :)
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
You are right about the WOT interpretation. And I would agree about the assessment of your mother's sabotaging you. If you can just get through the next 2 years together, things will get much better for you after that.
Take Care and feel your worth H_O_P.....
not sure if i needed it, but had 180 cal worth of tofu one hour before bed.
total cal: 1570. still in the 1500s which is good.
total calories: 1390 - great.
today was a whole lot better. i do like schedule, it helps me stay on track, so i'm glad i didn't have off today!
breakfast: an egg on a hamburger bun. 210
snack: tea w. apple: 110
lunch: sugary but good smoothie: 250??
snack: cookies...later a 1/2 cup wheatgrass (a bit much!) 220
snack before bike ride: kombucha 60
dinner: salad w. microwavable lasagna about 400 (but i may just have salad, tofu instead.) and yogurt w. sugar free jelly. but, i am looking to eat a lot less artificial sugars bc they seem to give me acne! so, i won't be buying any new sugar free stuff. i even put real sugar in my tea today!
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
i have weight to lose and i want to lose it. i have NO restrictions on types of foods. meaning, anything is really permitted. i CAN have white foods. and all that. but, i MUST start COUNTING calories and CARING. this is pathetic. i am 26 and the 20s are usually the best times and easiest to look good. not sure what i'm waiting for. but of course, i'm never giving up. lots of good exercise this weekend - haha, and eating.
total calories on sunday: 2200
sunday: not much better. breakfast: 350
lunch: all kinds of things - half healthy, half not. 1055.
snack: 2 sugar cookies
dinner: lean cuisine flatbread, one red pepper, some lettuce
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
saturday night:
pigged out at the wedding. it started off innocent and then i guess the alcohol helped me make some bad decisions. this wedding was FANCY. the cocktail hour had excellent food...and then dinner choices included filet mignon and salmon among other GREAT foods. dessert was everything and anything. included cheesecake balls on lollipop sticks. don't ask.
definitely around 4000 calories, at least.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
cheers to the weekend. cheers to a great friend getting married today. cheers to getting my hair straightened so it comes out well and i don't have to stress at all over that. cheers to wearing a new dress (lol, even though i don't love it!?). cheers to the weather being awesome. cheers to my saxophone being sold on ebay so i can ship it out. cheers to going for a walk this morning, since the wedding starts in the evening at 7pm. cheers to not having to worry about money like some people do. cheers to belonging to a gym. cheers to having a car. cheers.
just gotta think positive. this is what makes people happy.
going to do the things i listed above today.
breakfast: 3 ounces wheatgrass which will help my body digest and eliminate some stuff! then, a smoothie with lots of fiber, banana, chocolate protein. 340
snack: snapple 120
lunch: probably dunkin donuts flatbread with coffee 340
snack: avocado mixed into greek yogurt, 2 bran crackers. 225
total so far: 1025 fine.
dinner: wedding (and i will probably have around 2 drinks there as well - not a day to think about LOW LOW LOW calories!)
exercise: 6 mile walk. no yoga because it can dehydrate which i probably already am and i don't want to get sick at the wedding.
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
Good Monday to you!
yesterday was sickening. today was crappy.
today: nothing until 10am. fruit/tea. 120 or so.
lunch: sugary, kashi bar and smoothie (bad choices.)
after work: some healthy but big roll, seaweed salad, tofu burger. prob around 1100 for this stuff. but then i had some sugary stuff afterwards which ruined what could have been an ok day.
prob around 4000 today.
tomorrow i have a wedding, haha, cross my fingers i fit into my dress...
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
i did binge. badly. no idea how much i ate. but it can EASILY be around 6,000.
something inside me clicked in a bad way and the binge just went off tonight and when i got home, after the dinner, i did eat more (desserts - pure sugar)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
today was a day of fast but i didn't fast. i went to work and ate pretty normally. it's ok. every jew observes in their own way.
550 cal breakfast. kinda big, but good.
400 cal lunch.
350 cal snack
cal. so far: 1300. alright.
dinner: out at a friend of family's house to observe the holiday. i refuse to come back really late bc i have to study for a test. (i will take my own car if i have to...) and i will eat moderately well. i have enough calories to still have something good to eat, right?
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
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menu sounds fabulous!! do you make those chocolate smoothies at home? if so, what do you use as the base? sounds like the starbux viviano-mmm. i LOVE figs. how are things with your family/parents? sounds like things may have calmed a bit. xoxo
loveray on 10/19/2008:
SOOO glad to hear it! yea, emergen-C isnt my favorite, but my yoga master wants us to be drinking it when doing intense days of practice. plus, i think i am getting sick and i had a massage yesterday AM-trying to help out a bit. the smoothie sounds awesome: next time i am in NY, we are SO going to that place. :)
loveray on 10/19/2008:
ok, now i am really laughing: i just bought 2 HUGE frozen bags of cranberries at whole foods yesterday and was hoping to find a good recipe. they are SOO good for you, but wasnt sure what to do with them!! ;)
Donkey on 10/19/2008:
NEVER EVER SAY THAT YOU ARE HOPELESS. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT. I WILL BE YOUR HOPE FOR YOU IF YOU CANNOT FIND ANY YOURSELF.
(yes, I am yelling at you.)
thinnside40 on 10/19/2008:
Well, you AREN'T hopeless, so wake up in the morning and tell yourself that you ARE going to stick to what you have promised yourself..... This IS for YOU and nobody else....
Positive thoughts are sent yer way my friend!
selina on 10/20/2008:
Hey HoP, you can do this and it's not hopeless. Hang in there!