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Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 22, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

kombucha 30

7am: kashi granola bar and coffee with milk 200, banana 120

9am: wrap 100, 1/2 veg burger 70, turkey pepperoni 50: 220

10:30 nuts 100

Lunch: the rutabaga salad i've been meaning to eat...gotta check it's not spoiled 200, tofu 70, pretzels 200. 450

3:30pm clementines 50 and a bit more coffee 50 and special K cinnamon brown sugar bars 100....


Trying to remember it all but out of order: chicken 250?-300, stuffed cabbage 150?, nuts and apples 200?, egg whites 100, matzah ball 200 at least, small amounts of other sides 150, maybe that's it...1100

As much as 2450 but hopefully less. At least it was semi healthy.

Weekly avg isn't great:2150 or so each day - this causes weight gain for me.

5:45-8:30pm? dinner event - it's an event for the union that my dad is very involved with. starts around 6 and i hope it's over by 8:30pm. 

def no additional exercise today...although i may just walk at lunch for at least 10min.  i am actually hoping that my coworker stays home due to snow today so i can work alone.


My hamster was def born with genetic defects. It's now losing all control of it's back limbs (i think it's a poor calcium intake thing passed from mother to son) and seems to be going paralyzed by loss of back limb control.  I can just let it pass away on it's own. I will probably do so in a week or 2 is my guess. I know it was born with defects bc it's been sick on and off since the second week i've ownded it since July. If i get another one, i'll have to make sure it's healthy at the start.  I'm surprised actually that this one lived as long as it did - so far it's lived around 9 months with me and maybe like 10 months overall. They are supposed to live 2 years.

It now has a cold and sneezes a bit also.  It cost $20 to buy and i have already brought it to the vet once, for like $50.  I'm not rich and will not be going to the vet again as it's obvious my hamster has defects that cannot fully be fixed and it's not something i want to include in my budget. Once this hamster passes, I will probably get another one soon as i do enjoy holding them at home.

It has difficulty getting around in the cage..and even difficulty drinking water bc it cannot stand up at all on its hind legs. I will most probably let it pass naturally - not going to bring my hamster to get euthenized.

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/22/2018:
Poor hamster, and poor you! I think I'd feel the same way about my dog, but mostly because I wouldn't want to be euthanized myself. I'd only do it if she were in terrible pain.

Wish they could tell us if they hurt.

horn_of_plenty on 03/22/2018:
It doesn't act like things hurt, just struggles. The hamster doesn't make any extra sounds at least while i am at home but i notice the breathing is more shallow than it used to be. Now it makes sense the hamster never liked exercise too much..

Donkey on 03/22/2018:
So sorry to hear about your hamster :-(

Hope tonight's dinner event goes well...

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 21, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

5:30am Kombucha 70

7am Kashi granola bar and coffee with milk 200

9:00am Wrap 100 with egg and my tomato mix 100 and turkey pepperoni 50. 250.

11am Banana 120 and nuts 200, few candies also 50

900...when i get home i plan to eat anything else for the day

Lunch: TBD - we may leave very early today from the office due to snow storm...then i plan to eat less...go home to enjoy something .... still not doing as good as i can with calories...so, I'll do better today...

1:30 Home and i binged instead of eating what i had first planned to eat in smaller quantities earlier in the day:  small peppers100, pretzels250?huge orange 150, yogurt ,100, 2 granola bars also 200 (i ate this all at once at 1:30 - felt completely out of control).

6:30pm last eating for day: a natural bar and couple small chocolates. my blood sugar was all out of whack after waking up after a nap after my 800 cal binge which thankfully wasn't too bad compared to my past binges years ago. it's good i had veggies and fruit also...but i ate as a way to slow my mind and body and it promotes laziness...as the weather improves i am sure i'll improve.i took a break from exercising today - i could have done some exercises at home, but wasn't in the mood at all.

total today is 2000, maybe a little bit over. - it could have been better but i stress ate a ton....so far and planning for 200 calories in a snack later. once again, slight binge when getting home today around 1:30 from work due to a changed schedule and my own poor coping mechanism (eating). 

5day avg: 2090 - good but not great. could always be worse. lately my emotional eating has gotten worse as i feel worse at my current job...i have to continue to push myself like i did when i was younger (to get things done) and try to get outta my head a bit more.

 - anything in the mid 2000's is what i consider maintenance. I still have a goal to go below this amount - but maybe if i'm having so much trouble doing  so, on weekends my goal is still to eat in the 2000's...i think weekends are my problem area!

 once again, there was emotional eating involved today. for sure. i felt unable to stop - and binged more on sugary food than i have in weeks, months, years. really not dealing well with life right now.


A storm is starting this morning, to continue to snow throughout the day...We have work today despite the schools being officially closed and even my gym is closed today.. 

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

graindart on 03/21/2018:
Had some last minute requests to get some rush assignments done today and they were willing to pay extra. So I was stressed and not eating at the normal times either. Haven't gone off the deep end here yet, but my mind is stuck on craving food. I'm guessing it's because stress eating has been such a part of my life forever.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2018:
same here. it's a very addictive type of habit i'd say similar to smoking or any other bad habit. very hard to get away from - lately mine is worse than normal. and changes in routine make it even harder for me as well as any work i am ever responsible to do at home. ..

very hard to get away from the emotional eating habit. i mean any eating that is done past full and/or eating not due to hunger.

but one thing that has changed for me - i do eat more veggies and fruit and usually have at least a little bit of them in my fridge, which, when combined with other high calorie items or just other food it makes it harder and harder to wreck calories completely...i'm saying that thank gosh i have veggies and fruits to reach for also, they help to stave off super high cal binges like i used to have - which did include up to a pack even of granola bars / candy / etc. i don't do it like that anymore...as i've gotten better at having staples at home to eat before i start on those things and like you said i do not buy as much of those temptations. my bread is mostly low carb wraps and lighter regular wraps. and i do not buy too many types of chips or pretzels - just what i'm used to. it's all a work in progress.

my eating reflects my attitude right now and job situation which feels like i am treading water. it can get better though. sorry for the negativity....i'm glad to be able to pay my bills but the uncertainties and questions i have right now in my life is constantly on my mind.

i'm glad you took the assigments - sometimes you have to in order to keep getting assignments...that type of thing would get to me too...but you do have things you CAN reach for that aren't such a derailment to your diet which is the best way to deal with your situation. it's what i do - better alternatives to high cal options.

Maria7 on 03/21/2018:
Hope you have a good evening.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2018:
yeah...i'm not proud lately of any of my actions or lack of action. i just don't apply myself well to the working world...thank you for a kind comment.

Donkey on 03/21/2018:
I agree with your assessment regarding the connection between the eating and job satisfaction. I am confident that you will get through this, and if it means a few pounds, well... then so be it. I feel that once the weather warms up, you will find direction. So, tread water for now, to keep yourself afloat. (((hugs)))

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2018:
thank you Jdonk...i'll consider what you said and that i will get through it. i admit to it feeling really frustrating. but i know i'm not the only one who's been there. thank you for the kind words.

i think if anyone here needs to give me hard advice, that you should give it. i know i'm being lazy and not working as hard as i could. it's just i have trouble applying myself and doing more at the job.

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 20, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

3am Banana and pb 200, later at 5:45 tea

8am wrap 100 egg and some tomato mix I made 100 and turkey pepperoni 50, coffee 50. 300

7am/11am Extra snacks before lunch granola bar / banana 250 have a meeting in a different city in middle of morning so on the commute back to NYC or during meeting I have a granola bar

12pm Brought my lunch: pretzels 170, sautéed greens 200, veggie patty 100,nasty veggie patty. cheese from coworker 30. 400 GOOD!..clementine. included and granola bar.

4:30pm dinner: pork egg roll tons of oil fried 400-450?

7pm Evening - if hungry I'll have fruit and yogurt & light ice cream - i didn;t stick to lower cal plan. 550

2200 today.

2112 4day.

 hamster is sneezing :( he's sick / has a cold.



Seems i need to run approx 10min mile to pass the court officer test but not the typical mile...it's also based on other things...but if that's the level, i think i could train up to it.

It took me a long time to start my work today after traveling back from the meeting. i was freezing and it was just about noon so i ate and drank 2 cups of tea and then had a sugar craving so had a granola bar...i was probably mentally procrastinating by eating...doing this estimate work is very confusing for me....and i'm so outta shape...but i'm going to keep training.

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/20/2018:
...a 10 min mile...that is 'movin' on'! :-) Hope you have a good day.

horn_of_plenty on 03/20/2018:
not there at all..right now prob around 15min since i do not yet run regularly.

Donkey on 03/20/2018:
Sounds like another lovely day! A 10-minute mile -- I think you could do that. I know I could not. I am a very slow runner, but that's OK :-)

horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2018:
right now i'm not running near a mile at all without having to stop...i am not sure i could do it - but will continue to train for now...

thank you for the support. i haven't thrown in the bag just yet...i hope not to...but with current lifestyle i'm debating if i have enough time for both cardio and weights training.

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Mar 19, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

3 day 2083 per day.... will be prepping my vreakfast and lunches this week

8:30am Big Bowl of Cereal: banana 120, blueberries 120, almond milk 50, fiber one 120, and onyxorgum cereal (similar to cheerios) 120, little bit of cinnamon: 550 - EXCELLENT.

11am mid morning: wrap 120, egg 80, butter 30, turkey pepperoni 70, cabbage with some oil 50-100, some kombucha 50: 400-450

1pm before jog: special k cinnamon sugar pastry crisp 100, small coffee on the way to park...

1150, tops...home from park around 2:15 as planned...this is good.

2pm after jog: fat free raspberry yogurt with cooked stevia sweetened cranberries that i like to make and keep in my fridge throughout the winter months 200 cal.


Banana 120 1450-1500 after banana - Thinking ice cream light for dinner ....puts me around 1850 cal - good - plan is to go home do a little hw and be in bed early as it's an early morning bc I am now going into work early ----------- shorter gym workout I didn't really finish - I don't want to go back later and finish...bc I wanted to go before Appt and decided not to go back after it...bc I have things to do at home and actually could do he for my estimating class which is tomorrow



I was able to take a vacation day today....which helped me do more activities on the weekend that i do not normally do :)  so that is good...it's just a day less of jogging, but the good thing is i did walk around more on the other days than i usually do on the weekend...overall, i should say it was a positive weekend.

last night i slept really well again, around 9-10hours. I'm beginning to think that i'm one of those people who does better with a little extra sleep like this.

Plans today are things i need to do but usually have to rush - meaning i have a whole day to do things just for me - i should be really happy to be home and not at work ;) so i am!  The best part: sleeping in - getting out of bed bc i wanted to and not bc of an alarm clock!

Planning my day: 

1. Shower straight after breakfast so that's done ;)..and it doesn't hold me back from doing the rest of what i need to do today...8:30am

2. All Laundry ... done by 10:30am NOON! and still need to put it all away (LATER) laundry machines were occupied - everything got done a little slower...but i did cook..oh and clean hamster cage...and reading / I DID COOK! some veggies, 

3. snack & go running / jogging noon - will go out around 12:30 to jog, YES..

4. snack: cranberries and yogurt and maybe extra fruit :) before gym 300 tops....

5. gym - come back & shower 2:30pm-4:30pm

6. go to appt at 6pm (leave here at 5:30)

7. snack / light dinner after appt and reading or early to bed...the ice cream :) 400


Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/19/2018:
I have today off at home too - sometimes you just need time for yourself :-)

Horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2018:
the time thing - still having trouble with balance...for some reason, being really social doesn't seem that fun for me...i'd rather have done some chores i think yesterday so i wasn't rushing today to do it all...lol...

....but it's still better than being at work so i should rejoice and make the most of this sunny day...and go out as soon as i feel a bit better (i was doing some errands / cooking so legs feel weak...lol - i've got work to do!) on my legs i mean!

enjoy your time off...you deserve it after the trip and seeing your son...enjoy your day...do something positive! go outside in the sun if it's warm enough!

happy-1 on 03/19/2018:
Oooh a monday off for self care... Sounds amazing!

horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2018:
Had a good day - I should have done some of my chores on the weekend to have made today "easier" without laundry or cleaning a hamster cage but it was a good day ....

I am trying to increase my level but f cardio and will see by December if I have improved enough to keep training for court officer - right now it seems like I have too much to improve but I am not wanting to quit yet.

bearcountrygg on 03/19/2018:
Sounds like a nice day

horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2018:
Yes I am glad I had the time to take care of things - I wasn't very lazy today :) just a little bit - bc I did so much socializing on weeekend and was out - I had my chores to do but also got outside and gym and both were good :)

horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2018:
Jogging was def walking too- I will keep practicing tho I may not improve enough by December to continue training for court officer - so - we will see - I will have to stick to my plans more I think or just give up some of my alone time if I want the time to work on my cardio.....eh. We'll see.

bearcountrygg on 03/19/2018:
Sounds like a nice day

Donkey on 03/19/2018:
It sounded like a wonderful day :-)

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Mar 18, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

Kombucha 100 Brunch Fruit 100, bagel 100, Irish soda bread 200 500 Champagne 300 800 Over easy eggs 200 with potato home fries 300? Hopefully bitmore 1300-1400...forgot the bacon 3 thick slices 1450 at most hopefully :) 1800 Half turkey burger 150, peppers 100, leftover oily eggplant 150, other veg 50...currants 100. 500

2300 overindulged..

It was good getting out to do things all weekend, but not good i didn't do the running / jogging...but i am doing it today, for sure.

2 day avg: 2200.

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Mar 17, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

slept in till past 9am :) around 10 hours sleeping..

breakfast: cereals light ones 250, almond milk 50, almonds 100, last of my choc muffins 200, kombucha 50: 650....

2 bananas 250


wrap 100, tofu 150, 1/4 roasted potato 100, sauce 20: 370-400









Last couple weeks have been very moderate in calories as I know i like to wear a certain size clothes and look a certain way....so i have to also maintain my weight :)  it's going well!



Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/17/2018:
Good work controlling the portions and calories!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2018:
ty....still needs more attention from me! :)

happy-1 on 03/17/2018:
Maintenance is hard. Good job.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2018:
ty...still working on doing better :)

graindart on 03/18/2018:
Can't remember the last time I slept in past 9am. Not because I don't have the option at times, but just because I usually wake up well before then and have no desire to just lay there awake. The wife does it regularly most Saturdays since I take care of the kids on Saturday mornings. Actually I used to take care of the kids on Saturday mornings. Now that they're 12 and 15, they pretty much take care of themselves on Saturday mornings, but know to leave mom alone on Saturday mornings. Good job on maintaining / moderation, it's encouraging for me to see that it's possible.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2018:
everything is possible, it's a give and take all around - a balancing act for sure!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 16, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

Weekly average cals is pretty darn awesome - 2000 per day which is quite good and i def burn that off plus a little more i'd say. a good week to keep me going forward with weight loss...same goal for the upcoming week ...

- actually, i'll make my goal for below 2000 cal for the week - because it's a short week for me, Monday I have off...and Tuesday i actually sleep in - because i have to go to a training at 9 so i'm not appearing at work at 7am...so it's like i have a 9am start on Tuesday...which is a great week sleep-wise and i guess stress-wise!   :)


lunch tbd 750 sorta large included corned beef, cabbage and potato and tasted AMAZING...and then coffee with milk

dinner: leftovers at home - some corn chips 150, wrap 80, tofu 150, tomato sauce 40, sweet fresh peppers 60: 500 tops

going out soon after a nap i'd like to take for a little bit to see boxing matches...it starts around 7pm...so now it's 6 and trying to take a 20 min or so nap...

calories approx 2050 :) a GREAT week! moderate every single day!


free bagels and pastries at work today for breakfast - wasn't even intrigued AT ALL! because i was happy to wake up feeling thinner and jeans fitting better...after working hard to cut cals and be more moderate for these couple weeks it's starting to pay off....no reason to Wreck it!!!!!! doing much better these days.


weightwise and exercise-wise, it was a GREAT week.  otherwise, my goal is to think more positively and increase my drive to learn estimating.  i'll still say that exercise remains a force in my life that i'm driven to do & i do enjoy the benefits to keeping calories in check and visiting the gym...and starting this weekend i'll be aiming to get a jog/walk in twice a week now.... 


after work i might attend a boxing match(es) held at the union as a sporting event...near where i live...starts at 7pm so i might go home and even nap before it, lol, not sure...

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/16/2018:
Exercise is a great Health/Hobby/Passtime, endeavor...we should all do a lot more of it ( speaking especially for myself here).........you shouldn't have to explain or appologise for loving to work out......it's a wonderful thing to love doing....you are so fortunate that you enjoy it...many of us don't enjoy it much and wish that we did....we would be better off if we did. I say exercise and keep talking to us ( me) about it....I probably would not have just ordered an exercycle if it hadn't been for this group.....you guys got me to want to start moving again....and I heartily thank you all for that!!!!!!! Go and do what you love......I read everything you write and I draw energy from it all......

Horn_of_plenty on 03/17/2018:
thank you so much xo

bearcountrygg on 03/16/2018:
My Mom used to tell the story about going to a boxing match and sitting in the front row and getting hit by sweat>>>>>>Maybe not sit in the front row...LOL

Horn_of_plenty on 03/17/2018:
i was close enough to hear the hits of the boxing gloves but def far from the sweat! and boy do they sweat!

graindart on 03/16/2018:
Looking forward to my corned beef / cabbage / potato dinner with friends tomorrow night. Good job on a successful full week.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/17/2018:
It's pretty healthy if you take moderate portions of the beef and potato and eat lots of that silky cabbage....i should learn to cook it like that in a crock pot or just low simmer i guess on the stove!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 15, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

700 before lunch :) all healthy

Lunch: some leftovers from yesterdays and some new...although i'm thinking not to buy very much at all.. leftover turkey 100 small slice of roasted meat, some baby octopus looking things 100, leftover mashed potatoes 200?, sweet tasting salsa tomato mix 100, a greens salad mix with light dressing and radishes 150-200. total here 650-700. coffee...


Light Dinner: yogurt with berrries i am thinking :)

early to bed.


Walked 1.5mi at park..

1950 total - very very awesome

Weekly avg is actually under 2000 :) first time in a long time :)

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/15/2018:
I'm having a real desire to use stuff up...especially lately.....wasting things is like throwing money away...funny...it just made me think....overeating is wasting money too!!!! Good for you not buying too much....

horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2018:
yes, it's not a nice feeling to throw things out. I felt bad using disposable coffee cups each day at work so i'm back to using my own ceramic mug. i still have to clean it and waste a paper towel or two but i think it's better than throwing out an entire cup. and i think they're styrofoam which is no good. same with water, i'm back to filling my own cup which i can wash, i guess i can wash it weekly is good enough :)

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 14, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

Thru mid morning: kombucha 60, coffee 50, snack bar 120. 230...later banana 120.

Mid Morning wrap: 100, butter/egg 100, lox 50. 250.

600 before lunch :)

Lunch: TBD..more veggies, less grains.

Extra veggies 150, mashed potatoes 250?, fresh BBQ turkey really good 150 and coffee 600 total


Snack: clementine

Dinner before gym:

After gym: yogurt and fresh berries/cranberries 


i still want to train for the court officer job, despite having a well-paying job now.  most people wouldn't think this way. it just seems that fitness and desk work don't combine. and that it's a struggle these days to work out at all...i realize my thinking is messed up.

I don't think I had the Banana...

Calories are excellent today at 1800! Doing better now !

Weekly avg: 2000 - excellent

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/14/2018:
Hi there - looks like the day is off to a fine start :-)

I don't think your thinking is messed up. Keep training! Just try not to waste energy feeling "angry" while sitting at your desk, LOL. While I totally get the Desk Job Wah-Wah's, the anger will not serve you well. Perhaps try to re-channel the anger/frustration into excitement for your workouts at least for now :-)

horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2018:
:-) better start for today :) ty for all the advice - even if it goes against anything i write, it's best i hear it.

bearcountrygg on 03/14/2018:
I used to love my desk job...the thing I really hated was when I had to share my desk with another person...now that was annoying...2 people with chairs side by side working at a 1 person desk!!!! See...you have it better already!

horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2018:
that is annoying - no personal space! :)

i have a whole office to share with one person (small office, but we def have our own personal space! ;)

bearcountrygg on 03/15/2018:
Nope...no personal space at all...we did agree to each have 1 drawer of our own...and we honored that agreement...but we were bumping elbows all day...luckily we were both a lot smaller then..LOL

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 13, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

overall Tuesday 2050. weekly avg 2050. i do feel thinner already..i have about 3-4lbs to lose and keep off to keep clothes fitting better.

300 thru mid morning

Mid morning wrap: not more than 250 or so., later a banana

Lunch: TBD :) sorta big yes. it had tasty light radish and cucumber salad 150, a bit too much veggie dumplings 350? i hope not more...?, and shrimp 150? 650 - i doubt more but i am too full and tired. still gotta work on portions. 

snack: clementine...before going home :) 50

1400 before dinner....

Dinner: out somewhere takeout, before my class...probably miso soup and sushi ...i may just have a snack and no dinner tho...very full from lunch!

Earlyish to bed after class, hope to stick with my plans of working out on Wednesday which will happen if i catch up a bit on some sleep tonight.


Today was rough getting up - went to bed sorta late / got home sorta late from gym last night.


When i sit at work, all day i'm "angry." I probably need to just shut my head up and learn this as I do make decent money now...but for some reason i still look at the court officer career even though the pay is quite mediocre for life. I wouldn't lose my apt or anything but i wouldn't enjoy much luxury once i ever retire....but for some reason, i still want it, and there is room to grow in that position, if i were to rise to the occasion. It's still a goal of mine to train cardio for it....really it's sorta stupid, but, i think i still want to go for the other job (keep training) even though i have something now which is very good - for some reason, i just can't be happy...maybe it's a problem with my brain i don't know why i can't just be happy to learn this. i just don't know. it just makes me mad....i should, if i were smart, forget about the court officer job - and it would be a pay drop - and i'm not even fit enough now...i'm going to keep training for it...even though i'm so under par in fitness for their test as they provided what the fitness test is so i can train for it....for some reason it still intrigues me. despite the really low pay for several years...will i be sorry when i reach 70 years old??????????????

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/13/2018:
I hope your class goes well... Do you feel this "angry" feeling during your class too? Or just when you are at work?

I remember BearCountry mentioning something to you about focusing on being happy with where you're at, with what you got - and I thought that was very good advice. Not that I don't believe in chasing your dreams, but ... well, I just think that you can satisfy your need for something physical-fitness related in a better way -- meaning something that you won't have to sacrifice the job - and good benefits it comes with - and still find a path that makes you happy.

If I may, I would like to offer this, gently: I think that you are still healing from the NYPD situation, and that it may be where some of these feelings of "angry" or frustration (my word) are coming from. Kind of like breaking up with someone you really loved, and then sleeping with the next guy/gal to fill that emptiness of loss. Not that you would do that, but as an analogy of what's going on with you internally. I would encourage you to give yourself more time to heal emotionally from the disappointment, continue to train for what YOUR goals are, and then see if you're getting closer to what the court job would require, or not.

It may not be your mind that makes the court-officer decision for you, after all... Food for thought.

horn_of_plenty on 03/14/2018:
no, i feel less angry in class bc the teacher is good so it's not a bad class. the class applies to what i'm doing, so it's beneficial. it's a very beginner class though. and i'm a beginner estimator still...

i know technology will change tons even in like 10yrs and that this estimating will change with the technology.

i know court officer job will not change as much...

eh, i'll keep training for the court officer...and keep working on estimating now.

horn_of_plenty on 03/14/2018:
your advice is good, thank you. it should be an easy decision for me to stick with estimating - but it's not.

everyday i wake up stiff and tired and each time i go to the gym it's harder and harder. probably no job change can help it - it's probably just life...i prob just need to stick with estimating though i have a feeling the technology will change greatly and then i'll have to study to learn the new technology...eh, i'll just be happy now as you say.

happy-1 on 03/14/2018:
Hugs. I know that feeling of sitting and being angry... It turns on you and then shows up in your work and your relationships and then you are sitting where I am now. I dunno if therapy helped. I'm hoping DA does.

horn_of_plenty on 03/14/2018:
What is DA?

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