Extremely tired, but chugging thru the day. not feeling good & happy i stil have food at home for after work. I will NOT be going anywhere tomorrow i don't think except the gym at night. laundry i think maybe both days Sat & Sun - i have too much because friend slept over & stuff..really, really tired day.
550 in morning, all healthy but a lot of caffeine. extra fat and stuff & protein...
i may have a snack before lunch or early lunch. just very tired - heavy head & all..
light coconut protein bar 150
700 before lunch, good.
1200 after lunch, lots of veggies, some turkey deli meat. caffeine. need to buy seltzer and tissues on the weekend!
snacks and dinner: lb strawberries 150, tons of cooked veggies 200, light toasted coconut ice cream 150. 500, good..
1700
And a natural high protein bar 200. Total today is 1900.Weekly average is 1810, excellent !! !! !! Doing good.
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i am looking for change in my life but at the same time, i want certian things to stay the same...i want that guy - i want to be able to call him "mine" and for him to refer to me as "his"... even if not typical live-with-each-other type of relationship...i know he likes me very much, he SHOWED me...his part...he let me feel it in my hand...it was throbbing...sorry to anyone with Virgin ears...but that's all i did with him, my friend was downstairs...we didn't really do anything...he just showed me how he feels for me physically...and weirdly i didn't even push for more...actualyl i couldn't and that was prob the reason...he's a real idiot, i'd say. an idiot bc he's pissing me off that he can't even text me at all right now, when it's obvious he DOES like me too. he's such a freaking scared 45 yr old i can't take him sometimes.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!
Good time at the circus, wrote about it in previous entry. was worth going :) and having coworker sleep over.
I'll catch up on sleep tonight i think - very tired! but very worth it. i didn't sleep well and actually had major stomach issues and heartburn. i don't know why. probably from eating way too fast dinner.
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6am Morning: kombucha 50 (small amount) 50
8am Breakfast at work: bigger banana 150?, wrap 60 with ½ small avocado 150 and salami 100 – 460
Later: coffee 50, bar 150,
710, is ok, better to eat extra right now, busy week.
1800 today.
1793 6-day calorie avg. excellent. I will eat I think in the 1800 range tomorrow.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!
Edit for CyberMom bc she asked:
Cirucs was very nice. Def worthy of adult viewing and not only for kids! Lots of acrobatics and things that only super-fit and super-talented people can do. It was very worth watching & funny too. It was a nice time with my coworker friend, we enjoyed a too-fast dinner which actually gave me a stomachache, gas, and heartburn last night. I almost NEVER get heartburn - and this sorta scares me...so...thinking on this positive, it was a great night! I didn't sleep great, but it was so worth it. I'm glad she came with me. She slept over, left very early around 5:30am, so i am now already relaxing on the couch now & drinking my kombucha (typical morning! yay!). she was a great guest...
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600 cal before lunch, balacned...
1050 before dinner....
going to circus today...dinner with coworker as well, circus after.
she's actually sleeping over so she doesn't have to drive 2hrs home starting around 9pm when circus is done...i could NOT make her do the drive, so wrong!
so she'll be on my couch....
i hope she'll get up EARLY and leave so i can do my typical "relax" in the morning on my couch, but we'll see......
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Around 2200 (indulged in a bigger dinner, some garlic naan from the Indian place too) 2200 I think at most. Fine. 1792 5-day avg - gonna be a good week. and a banana before bed...and somehow heartburn that caused me to take 4 tums last night? wth. must have been the spinach saag from the Indian place. weird that i got such heartburn...could have also been nerves? or the stevia drink i had late at night? weird! or that i was just really hungry before bed and the banana wasn't a good choice? stomach still bothers me...but everything should be better in a little while (writing this again in the morning, 6am).
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!
woke up really tired, but doing better now. sleeping pill needed to wear off - was worth taking it, i slept very soundly....gym tonite....will be showering & getting ready at the speed of light in a few minutes ... for work that is...
Food & Drink:
4 cups kombucha...trying to both relax and get a move on this AM... 140
9:30am: coffee, banana 170
Late Morning: wrap 80 with extra whipped cream cheese 150 and salami 100: 330 bar 200
lunch: the wrap i didn't eat for breakfast 330, veggies. 170 at most, popcorn 100: around 600...
1150 approx...lots of caffeine.....UGH.
1550 today. Good.
1690 4-day average.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!
I am enjoying learning more about myself and continuing to eat in a more moderate calorie way so i can stay leaner and not regain the weight i lost for my sister's wedding.
it feels good to make the choice to stay on track!
Happy Monday OFF. thank you to our guys & gals in the Military and all the Special Forces for keeping us safe :)
7am: kombucha 60, stevia...
8:30am: Double Chocolate "Mighty Muffin" by Flapjacked. 220 (high protein & fiber)
total so far: around 300, good.
10:30-noon Beef Jerky 3 servings 150, chips 2 240 servings, and caffeine (Monster Energy Zero cal Ultra, if you want to know...over a period of 2 hrs): 400 :)
late meal: veggies galore, some sauteed in sauce. i am talking like at least 6 cups of veggies now..300 or so. and a light drink....got a headache, really tired.
3:30pm: natural bar 200
5:30pm: banana 120, popcorn 100, yogurt 110: 330
1530 cal, blech. feeling like everything's too sweet...need to pot the plants, being lazy. need to read and still haven't! and it's 5:30pm lol...
Protein bar 180.
Total today: 1710, excellent 3dAy avg = 1740 :)
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Doing laundry & gonna read a little bit. only plans today are get my health reimbursement bills together (which are actually in disarray! which hardly ever happens since i like to usually turn these bills in quicker but i guess i was really busy up until now with wedding & lol - recovery - that only now i'm taking care of these bills (some are like 2 months old - not that it matters, but usually i'll at least record everything and keep it neat unlike this time where the receipts are still in the prescription medicine bags they came in!? all thrown into the bottom of my closet - yes a mess!),
.....laundry - i'll be done before 10am, food shopping (close by and for all prepared stuff & i plan to go early around noon to get a choice of the best & not miss out - i'm chilling today). also call my friend. but this is IT!...oh, and i need to pot the two herb plants i bought at Home Depot yesterday (i bought a cilantro plant & a stevia plant!)
So all in all - i want to finish everything i need to do by 1pm.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!
we'll see how long they last.
so you just eat the plants every now & then?
I should have the cilantro later this week :)
8am Breakfast: lots of strawberries to start 100, oatmeal 100 with egg whites 100 and cinnamon / nutmeg / stevia and extra, extra whipped peanut butter 250. total here: 550, very good, lots of fiber, filling.
snack: dark chocoate 50
1pm light lunch: extremely lite ice cream with extra stevia that i add drops onto the ice cream as i eat it.. bc its very bland ice cream. 150 cal for a pint!...followed by leftover veggie stuff in fridge and a couple bites of bacon and chips. 250 more.
1,000...low calorie day...-goal is 15001600
3pm: banana 120
Before gym more chips 130, energy drink 40 and granola bar 100 1400 :)
8pm after gym: lite soft serve ice cream around 100, Quest chocolate protein bar 170, and some fruit 30. around 300.
around 1700, good :)
2-day avg is 1750, excellent.
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well, now this is the first relaxed day of the long weekend. I do have some things i do need to do - thankfully - bc sitting home all day will not be good today!
10am - picking up a face wash from this lady's home! she works at my derm and said i can pick it up from her this weekend since i couldn't make it in on Friday to pick it up! (what a nice woman!)
After I pick up the face wash, i'm going to Home Depot to pick up some light bulbs & also a couple small cactus plants for myself & one for my best friend.
Home in the afternoon.
Gym today...I'm thinking in the afternoon before dinner.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!
115.6 :). This morning's weight! Kombucha and coconut water 100 Chips 150, cucumber salad 100, tomatoes 100, peppers 150 600.
lunch / snacking: bacon jerky 330, plum 70., caffeine Bai drink in a really cool coconut raspberry i think it was? flavor. AWESOME.
1,000.
Dinner: healthy & at most was 800.
total today: prob not more than 1800. GOOD.
was at beach with my best friend & it was GREAT :)
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!
My weight was back down this morning and since i saw it, i'll record it....
6am: kombucha 60....and seltzer with stevia
8:30am breakfast: banana 120, wrap 80, with salami 100 and cream cheese 120 420 and coffee 50.470.
12:30pm lunch: Bacon Jerky 330
plum..
1060 before dinner and bar.
lots of calories drinking & dinner.
around 2500 cal at most for FRIDAY. was worth it...(hopefully i overestimated, but i'm not too sure.)
1960-7day average. too high, but worth it. i can try hard on the weekend to eat well on Sat, Sun & Monday!
working till 2pm today and then we get out. i plan to do a couple of errands that unfortunately need to get done today. then getting ready for happy hour and driving the hour (picking up coworker also which takes a half hour extra...)bleh. it's worth it. no complaints :) i may skip the errands. not sure.
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Happy hour tonight after work to see Paul. Finally seeing my crush after 3 years of texting and never getting together outside of seeing him time to time at his work. Thank you G-D!
Beach tomorrow with my best friend Christine. I'll be waking up for it early as i didn't know happy hour was happening tonight until last minute late last night around 10:30pm!
Sunday I may do beach again, not sure.
Sunday i'm going to the gym, no matter what!
Progress as of today: -1.4 lbs lost so far, only 4.4 lbs to go!
He must be shocked that i'm so content with everything for now. :-)
yep, i don't even want anything more...too tired, honestly haha.
1875 6-day total. excellent. another week in the 1800's like i wanted...
i must say, i am still both extremely bloated and feeling really fat. even at the gym, i felt i needed to wear a shirt over my usual leggings and sports bra because i felt it didn't look as toned as usual. i guess i did gain a few pounds? maybe it's not all bloating but real weight gain?
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550 cal so far thru morning, having a nice morning. pretty balanced, bar (healthy one), banana, coffee, and shared another half a light protein bar with my boss as a snack.
1100 before snack, before gym :) healthy lunch of Thai veggies, shrimp, handfull of butter popcorn and a big orange.
around 1350 before gym, good.
after gym: 250
total today is excellent: 1600, less than i planned.
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i texted him - thanking him for being so good to me when I visited him. he was SUPER sweet, he did not push me away at all, and finally with all my hugs & kisses, i felt him finally hugging me back last night. i am so thankful to have met him. when the patients in the next room started laughing at him & i hugging, he started to laugh and smiled, realizing that it was all very ok. that i wasn't going to push him to do anything over the line, that he was enjoying it just as much as i was!
In my heart, i honestly feel he is the only guy really that i have ever wanted to be close with. i love him on the outside & inside. he's successful, so driven in his work, honest and good looking. he's everything i would want in a man...
Of course, he does not know that I have LOVED him since i met him. that's my business until i know he feels it too...which may be a very long time from now, but fingers crossed it happens one day.
He's a sweet man. Sweet to his family & friends. And he has a fun, comical side. He's worth the hassle of me reaching out to him and pushing him to try "dating me." i cannot call it dating to him, or he will run just like that.
he was somehow hurt in the past and he is very, very scared to open up emotionally at all. however, when he isn't pushing me away, his action do prove that he likes me. and this is enough for me for sure.
Man, i wish he knew how much i loved him.
he is going thru some challenging health stuff of some things i know the details but totally not everything, but he doesn't realize he can talk to me, that i support him, and that i dont want him to feel alone...
i think it will work out...it's the same guy i have always been writing about..
Progress as of today: -3.8 lbs lost so far, only 6.8 lbs to go!
Last Update: it really was a bad TOM this time around. My right thigh (thankfully NOT both!) has been cramping - 24/7 dull to sharp pain. (if you didn't know, it's another common symptom of TOM). I've been taking tylenol or other pain meds steady for the past 24hrs - like every 4 hours, especially waking up in the middle of the night with thigh pain. I'm not concerned though, i know next month should be better if anything. I've taken so many pills within the past 24 hours.
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visiting my always annoying man after work today. it's sure to go down 50/50 chances of going really well and 50% chance of ending in frustrations! (man is the one i've been texting with most days of the week for THREE YEARS NOW)
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UPDATE!!
I visited him. It went really well. We laughed. He was working. I gave him several hugs and also several kisses on the cheek. I left happy, but also cried once i was outside. I cried from relief that this visit went better than the other two. thank gosh.
he did hug me back, yes, i did feel it that he was returning the hug yes. he did laugh like he enjoyed having me there...
but i do not remember him kissing me on the cheek...but i am ok with him letting me at least kiss him on the cheek several times and getting a chance to talk a little bit and see him!
hey, it seems to have gone well as of now. i hope it will continue to. he is the boss there, and he was working, and we were in public. so i am content with how it went.
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1250 before dinner at most.
Dinner: healthy, veggies, extra, 300 most, with shrimp 200, and chips 150: total at most: 650. good!
and a half hour walk (after visiting my guy and snacking on plum back at home !)
total today: 1900 at most, excellent.
avg 5-day cals: 1930-avg, good! (i'm close to the 1800's range)
Progress as of today: -3.8 lbs lost so far, only 6.8 lbs to go!
first time went horribly bad, second time much better, and yesterday he was extremely good to me. He works extremely close (5min) from where i live. that's why it's easy for me to go.
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omg you crack me up! I hope you get some much needed rest. Well how long do you wait? You do the pursuing and go get what you want...girl!
I didn't wait at all. I texted him every day oops. Of course he freaked and is taking some time to himself :/ we shall see what happens next...