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Horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 11, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

 Fab Friday

8120 per day average this week = excellent work :) and got to indulge a bit too!

I do have to do one errand tomorrow: get my dress i'm wearing to the rehearsal dinner taken up a hair. It's a strange length and I am taking it up a little so it doesn't rest so close to my knees....so that it looks more fun and less professional / formal. I need to get it done so that I'm not doing it last moment at the end of March. :)

I can’t be prouder of myself. One day off in 5 months. And I’m strong. I believe in myself. Life is busy and this coming weekend = relaxing time in there. Thanking the man above for a low-key weekend.
6:30am: 3 servings (cups) kombucha 100.
Dunkin Donuts Medium Hot Green tea at work with 2 equals through morning.
Breakfast mid-morning at work: Croissant with egg and bacon (no cheese). Around 450.
Lunch: tofu 50, lots of greens 200? 300 at most. had some extra salad with olives and little bit of chicken. 150 more or so.
5pm: melon from work luncheon 100, bar 100, caffeine 50 : 220
After gym: protein cookie - mix of high carb, some fat, some protein 350, veggies at home 100.
total today: 1700 :) very good!
Happy to relax most of the day Saturday at home (and do laundry)…I may not leave my apt on Saturday. I am taking the day to reap in some much needed alone time that I enjoy & read, relax, go at my own pace. If I go out, it’ll be for food and to hem the short dress for the rehearsal dinner. That’s it. Really looking forward to a low-key weekend.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/11/2016:
Chillax and enjoy yourself.

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 10, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

So...eating a lot of salt last night at dinner....and then the chips 2 servings = I actually got very tired after dinner & slept thru the night. It must have strangely been what I needed.

Anyways, no gym tonight. I'm going to try to go Friday night but I have a feeling that I may be skipping 1 workout this month so that I don't overdo / injure / or stress myself out within reason. I do hope to be feeling better on Friday after work. If I am, it means I can work out & not skip any workouts this month. Going to try. I can tell based on how I felt this morning (like a hangover) that I need my rest tonight. No gym today. I know it's the right choice for today.  Starting to feel run down.

Early Morning at home: kombucha 4 servings. (4 cups / 2 bottles) 130

Work: green tea with equal...and also Dunkin Donuts croissant with egg and bacon. I am seriously craving salt. I know why - I am getting really tired. I know this....this is what happened last time. I am not going to the gym tonight. I need to rest. And last night was amazing, no sleeping pill & I slept straight thru the night - first time in such a long time. My body needs extra rest right now. I may skip the gym tomorrow as well so that I only go 2x this week instead of 3x to prevent further feeling exhausted and/or injury. Too much is no good. I am also canceling plans on coworker this weekend because I do not want to go out to eat. I want to be home & rest up (as well as do all errands / chores / gym). that's enough.

Home: 150 at most Kombucha

10am Dunkin Donuts at work: yummy croissant 300 with 1 piece or so of bacon 50, and egg 100. Total around 450 

need a break this week I want tastier breakfasts right now and no more bars or oatmeal. It’s going to be a deal for tomorrow. Happy I’m not working out tonight. Too beat. And my shoulder hurts slightly (hardly, but enough to get me to realize I need to rest.) 

Lunch: Chips 160, egg white wrap 400. Total around 550. 1150.

Drive home: orange, got a ticket of $160 for talking on my cell phone...yup.

dinner: prob not more than 550 (lots of veggies, popcorn 150, mock chicken 300 or so?).

total today: good - 1800.

1840 6-day avg. good.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

cybermom4 on 03/10/2016:
It sure does sound like you need rest. You have a lot on your mind and your body talks. Your weekend sounds great - a ME day. It's like a catch up day without losing the time. You will feel much better after the weekend. Sleep well zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/10/2016:
Thanks Mom...gonna try to get myself to the gym tomorrow after work :) already feeling better.

hollybelle on 03/10/2016:
It must be a sleepy day - I helped a coworker proof a spreadsheet this afternoon and I almost fell asleep!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/10/2016:
Thankfully...I am already feeling a little better. Definitely needed a night in.

OhioRaven on 03/11/2016:
Sorry to hear about the Phone...Ticket...Crap !

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 08, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1850 5-day average.

I have to say, i'm seriously sick of being disrespected by older folks as of late. I'll talk more about this later if I have time.

I have a neighbor who has a high up positition in my overall industry (not my company but people know of him here). And he's my apt neighbor right across when I open my door his door faces me. He always comes home and slams the darn door. so hard. I always wonder how anyone can be so busy that they can't shut the door with some care so that all the other neighbors don't have to be bothered.  It's so annoying I can hear his door slam in my bedroom which isn't even close to the hallway...

Also, same neighbor, treats me like I WORK FOR HIM! I don't like being spoken down to. And no longer am I. Because I'm giving him the same crap he gives me. No more.  He's my neighbor. I don't work for him. I'm not his daughter. He's not my boss. This has me so angry. I am about to ask him why he slams his door because it's starting to really anger me.

I have 4 apts on my floor and my other two neighbors / families NEVER slam their doors. I don't get how anyone is too busy to treat people with respect and also to close the door to their homes / apt with care and not slam it....

Same with work. I'm sick of one boss in particular ignoring me. so rude. i'll give him the same attitude he gives me straight back.

Same with my gym. The owner is in his late 30's and I pay him $600 a year (now leaving in May for a gym half that price!). but he is rude to people who pay big money to go there. It's sad it took me this long to quit my current gym. I should have stayed there only 1 year tops. It's because I wasn't feeling good / had a bad injury that everything was difficult. So happy to get outta there. If I am paying you $600...don't yell in my face....never again will I go to that gym, no matter how convenient. I can't wait to continue to tell him off (the owner of the gym - not a chain - just his gym - and he has no common courtesy or class.)

Usually I don't get so fed up with folks - but I think it's helping me move on, out of this job, and take better control over the direction my life and future is going.  I am glad I am starting to not take everyone's crap. My neighbor, i'll probably do something so that he stops slamming the door. maybe i'll talk to management to hang a sign, not sure. he's so stupid. I can't even slam mine, it's just so rude. i'll probably do nothing. but it's really something, I tell you.


1am: Beef Jerky 150. Couldn't sleep, caffeine and on purpose I skipped a sleeping pill. needed to be off them bc I was getting too tired during day at work.

5:45am: kombucha. 70. total 220, good. aminos 30

At work: will be oatmeal 160 made with 1/2 cup almond milk 20, and a small banana 120. 300.

Snack will be a granola bar I think 100. Too hungry, had a warmed up Quest Chocolate Brownie Protein Bar 170


Lunch: healthy - mostly cabbage and some other veggies 100, little bit of leftover avocado 50, fried okra 250, tofu 50. around 500-550 is my estimate.

around 1250, good.

snack: strawberries 50. and seltzer.


dinner: thinking more beef jerky. craving salt...

snack before dinner because I was at dermatologist still at 6pm granola bar 100 and came home late after 7pm.

dinner: gave in again. had chips. had too many veggies, some sauce & beef jerky.

will have to say at most 2200 today.  I am going to skip the gym tomorrow because I am not feeling good...I am starting to feel exhausted. Instead, i'll come home & chill. Yup. Going to skip the gym tomorrow. also, I slightly pulled something I think in my shoulder. I need to rest. NOT going to gym tomorrow. too tired out. body is telling me to rest.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/10/2016:
Rest that shoulder and when you speak to your neighbor - just state the facts about the door. I wonder if your other two neighbors notice he door slamming and if they would be willing to go together and mention to him??? The door slamming neighbor may not even be aware of it. Also - so many times I have noticed that when someone is aloof or distant and I think they don't like me, or that they are mean, weird or hateful- I find out that there is something going on with them - they have some back story that once I learn that it makes the way they act more understandable. There's a lot of heavy stuff going on with people out there that no one ever knows. Have a good Thurs. HOP!

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 08, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Turbulent Tuesday!...In a good way, like I’m weathering the most torrential storm. 

Proud of myself, very proud, this month.
6:30am: kombucha – 2 bottles (4 cups) 120
9am Breakfast: small banana 120, bar 230, coffee 50: 400.
950 before leaving work and around 550 through the night.
total today = 1600. Proud of this total as well as being overall very proud of myself. I see now that we are truly capable of our dreams. Making one thing happen at a time.
Gym Tonight :) Yay!
1765 4-day average.


Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 03/08/2016:
I'm proud of you too, Coach !

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/08/2016:
Thank you very much OR :) !

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Mar 07, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1820 3-day avg. good.
Monday Calories:
270 In morning before office snack at 11.
Office snack: Quest Bar apple pie flavor 180
450 up to lunch
Lunch: extra fat entire avocado but a small one 300 at most, 2 leftover scallops 50, tons of cabbage mostly 50. Total: around 400. And some sauce 50. 450 most.
Total before leaving work: 900.
On way to dentist: seltzer and fruit 50
Dinner: will be good!...I bought cooked veggies from a Japanese restaurant after my dentist appt. The food was DISGUSTING. I had to throw it out! I did it some though - around 50 cal? So, instead, I had a whole chicken breast roasted with skin 400 and chips 200 and seltzer with stevia. so, around 650 for dinner. good...could have been lower cals, but better I get some protein and straight carbs in me. Now I feel very satisfied.
1550-1600  today = good!!
Magnificent Monday !
I am feeling great & nothing is going to stop me. I got some sleep – seems to be enough for today. Sleeping pills are helping me GREATLY right now. They are keeping me on an even keel & helping me get thru my intense workouts and long work days. I am happy with everything.
I had a nice weekend. I indulged more on food. I enjoyed myself with friends and even my mom as well when we went for the dress fitting. Everything is moving along. I have been ultra successful.
The smaller dress had to be taken in a little! I want it to be EXTREMELY fitted to show off my body because my dress for my sister’s bridal shower wasn’t like that. I work out for the benefit of being able to wear a very fitted dress. I am challenging myself so I can feel awesome in a very fitted dress. I am young, single & able. Alternations will cost the entire price of the dress. I’m paying for the alterations so that I can alter it any way I choose! My mom paid for the dress - $280. Alterations so far are $220 but I know there’s a chance it will be altered again come 3/20/16 when I try it on again (but hopefully not?). I am going to be intent and focused now on continuing to watch my calories and do the right thing so I can be so proud of myself for the efforts I put in for looking fabulous at this wedding!
It was just the Arnold Bodybuilding championships in Ohio this Saturday night. I saw photos online of what it takes to be a winner. This has helped fuel me for what I am doing for the wedding. Those women were so dedicated with their diet and fitness regimens. And I am using similar tactics within reason of what I feel I can do. I feel good. I feel challenged. I feel capable!

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Mar 06, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1925-2 day average. good.

Sunny Sunday!

650 before leaving my apt. early this afternoon around 1pm.

150 yogurt snack at my mom's house (unexpected trip back to my mom's house because she forgot my shoes so now I will hold onto them. I needed to have the right shoes for the dress fitting....so we went back home and arrived back a whole hour later. so it was lengthy compared to what it should have been - but no problem as I was already prepared for the work week ahead of time with food shopping & laundry totally done!

After we did the dress fitting, it was around 3:30 and I split from my mom because I needed to pay to join a new gym because there's a deal going on it for it now. But, I realized I forgot my glasses somewhere (only for driving do I use them because I want to, not a necessity, but really it's THE LOWEST prescription and I do not NEED them but I got them to get used to for the police academy when I WILL DEFINITELY NEED THEM to read the board in class!).

So I went back to the store to see if I left them there, because I wasn't sure. I also checked my mom's car in the lot. They weren't on my seat when I looked in the window. So I decided they are at my parent's house which they are. I decided it doesn't matter if I have them & i'll just use my non prescription sunglasses for driving right now until maybe even after the wedding when I go home to pick them up! LOL. we'll see! no biggie.

Then I drove to join the new gym back in Queens. :) It's a little farther from me (around 3 miles I think and needing to drive on highways - instead of the one I go to now which is 1.5 miles and extremely local to get to). It'll be nice to be driving farther because i'll have a chance to get to know the other neighborhood better! I don't mind it! My current gym takes under 10 minutes to drive to. The new gym will take around 20 I think to drive to.

After that, I was close to a shopping center. And I had coupons for Victoria's Secret. I got two pairs of underwear for a total of $2.50. I saved $20. Next, I went to Bath & Body Works to treat myself. It was in the same shopping center. A strip mall, so easy parking & easy walking around.  I had a coupon for 20% off any purchase and the big candles were $12.50 to start. with the 20%, I paid only $10.89 for a nice three-wick candle and saved another $11. So, big savings & nice treats since I was already in the same town joining the gym!

After that, I drank some energy drink 30 as I was pooped along with 2 plums 100 (I ate the plums actually earlier but listing them here), a small banana 120 and a small granola bar 100. My dad called my phone so I chatted with him in my car while I was parked and relaxing for a few minutes before heading into my regular gym to workout. Total here:  350.

My workout was good :) I felt a little tired though and weaker with a few things. But stronger with other exercises. Was a nice workout.

I left the gym when it closed at 8pm and was home around 8:20. Promptly took a sleeping pill & also had a evening meal that I was craving lol. Busy, productive weekend overall.

Dinner / Evening Meal after gym: aminos 30 followed by a protein pancake that i cooked made of: egg whites 120, protein powder 120, Oatmeal 80, stevia drops to sweeten, and topped with sf jelly 50 and a chocolate/peanut butter spread 150. total here: 550. feels good to refuel and fill up. I was hungry & didn't eat much today after breakfast. so, good deal & nice volume!

1700, good!





Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 03/07/2016:
Wow, a busy weekend. Enjoy your $20 off.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/07/2016:
I loved it!!! ;)....thanks for your support on here! and for the fun comments!!! have a sunny, happy day OR.

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Mar 05, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Food & Drink:

Kombucha at 10:30am: 70 and seltzer with stevia.

11:45pm: chips, almost 2 servings. fresh just opened bag of veggie chips yum :) little more carbs this AM. Feel good carbs. 220.

12:30 saag, lots of it. at least 450. beef jerky. 150...more of it later maybe.

and a drink 50...

around 1200 total while out.

total for Saturday (and worth it!) 2150.


Hi. It's a quarter after 10am Saturday morning. I slept well. Around 11 hours.

I woke around 4:30am and knew I had one option - take a sleeping pill and get back to bed. So I did. In all, I woke around 2x last night and slept around 11hrs. Perfect. I needed the extra sleep because Thursday night I didn't sleep well (no sleeping pill and was very revved up from the gym workout). Sleeping pills are what are going to help my body recover from my workouts and not get totally run down after the wedding. I have to take them right now - or i'll be very exhausted and risk injuring myself through the workouts.

Today, my friend called me just as I was getting up & missed the call. I'm not calling her back right away. Today is for relaxing during the day. Later in the afternoon, I'll be going to meet my friends for dinner in the city. It's very downtown - around 1.5hrs away from me. Should be nice - probably will just do laundry and reading and then get ready for later. I'll be leaving my place around 3pm.  I want to dress up a little bit.

We are eating dinner at a restaurant with a bar. It's a cool place with several locations in the city. Called Stout. I've never been to this location so looking forward to it & probably taking some photos too with my friends that I haven't seen in around 3 months!

For now, it's still only 10:24am...gonna have something to drink - some kombucha & some seltzer. and relax a bit. I'll do laundry if I feel like it & if not I'll do it tomorrow. But, probably today. Tomorrow just my bed sheets.

I actually already did pretty much all of my food shopping for the week last night (Friday night!) so i'm prepared already for the week ahead besides the laundry. feels good.

Tomorrow (Sunday) is going to be busier than expected bc my mom texted me Friday while I was still at work at the end of the day saying my dress came in earlier than expected. So I had to call to change our apt for the fitting from this coming Friday to this Sunday (tomorrow) because my mom insists ASAP and she is right. So, tomorrow i'll be trying on the dress again on Long Island. This is why I did most of my food shopping Friday night. I don't want to be running around without a head fully on the weekend so I did it yesterday. That's why i'm trying to relax today and not calling my friend back right away...I need to relax.


Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/05/2016:
FYI - I posted on your Thursday entry. I was too busy to do so before today!

Yes, relax. It will pay off in the long run.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/05/2016:
TY Donkey / J-Lady!

grannyannie on 03/05/2016:
That's a good long sleep! Have a nice relaxing day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/05/2016:
It was soooo nice to sleep in! :)

hollybelle on 03/06/2016:
Hope your day was relaxing.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/06/2016:
It was wonderful! A much needed time out with my good friends!

puddles on 03/06/2016:
Hope you had a good day J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/06/2016:
I did, thank you Puddy!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 04, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

 Good Morning & Happy Fit Friday Everyone on DD.

I want to say first that I’m feeling much better than I was yesterday morning. I am continuing to be proud of myself in achieving all of my desires thru April 2nd. I am so proud of myself for also standing up to my mom last night on the phone & letting her know that I’m not free on Tuesday or Thursday next week (my gym days) to go for a dress fitting and that since the lady is off Wednesday & Monday I have a dental appt, we are doing it Friday after work.
I feel good that I am putting myself first on Tuesday & Thursday next week – that I’m not letting a workout slide just to get a dress fitting when it can be done the following Friday. Even though my mom is helping me – I am still me & an adult & my opinions and needs are also part of the equation. And this time, I feel good – in standing up for the freedom that I should be allowed. We are all busy & in our free time – well – we have to choose how to spend it. And you all know my goal was to miss no workouts – and the only way to do this is to stick with my schedule right now. She didn’t want to wait all the way to the weekend to get the dress fitting done, so, essentially, the fitting is being done the last day (Friday) before the weekend LOL next weekend. Hey, we did the best we could. It would have been done earlier (Wednesday) if the lady worked that day. Or Monday – but I already have a dental appt booked months ago – cannot be changed.
Despite being busy, we are getting everything done – me, my mom, etc. The wedding will work out. Last week or maybe only a few days (still undecided and undetermined) before the wedding, I’m probably changing my diet slightly to lean down water-wise. Bloating gone. I will research this later & not thinking about it yet.
Snack #1: 100
Breakfast: banana 120 and bar 180, coffee 50, also fish oil 30 cal (pills)
Snack #2: Yogurt coffee flavor 120
Lunch: bag of lettuce with snow pea leaves (chinese & sautéed) and a sorta nasty eggplant soy burger but not the worst! Probably better not microwaved! Around 500 most. Definitely THROWING OUT the last of these burgers! GROSS.
around 3pm ended up feeling very very tired and just horrible. beat....not sure why the sudden change in me after lunch. either way. I had some diet dr pepper which made it worse. boss bought pretzels and I ate the whole 200 cal bag in one shot. did feel better after. the carbs lifted me up. 200.
Snack: strawberries 50, seltzer
big dinner but good: lots of cabbage around 100 at most I guess, popcorn 100 and two big spoons of an Indian prepared rice - wow! so soft and chewy. never in my life....so good! so fresh! 50, some of a miso soup with extra seaweed and tofu around 150, around 3/4 cup of saag spinach 150, def over a cup of okra Indian style 250. total: 800 at most i'm sure.
total today: higher, but fine...so fine. I mentally needed this. I was getting really off my rocker. yup...
2150 total.
7-day weekly average is still very good: 1590/day.  this is really an excellent total. I'm doing really well. I just need to keep going this way for March.
would have been closer to 1500/day...but...maybe it's better this way. I don't know. needed the carbs today and needed the bigger dinner. I feel good now.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

puddles on 03/04/2016:
It is really getting close to the wedding one more week right J. Have a great weekend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/04/2016:
One more month ! Thanks....turns out the dress came early...my mom texted me around 4pm! So we ARE GOING THIS SUNDAY! lol...everything always in the air with this.

Awesome50 on 03/04/2016:
Putting yourself first is empowering. Good for you! Enjoy the weekend!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/04/2016:
It felt good to say NO.

cybermom4 on 03/05/2016:
wow - lots of stress but you are handling it very very well. I think sometimes family can be our worst enemy if we are not careful. I understand the feelings that go along with saying 'no'. And you know what - those feelings will pass. Always err on the side of being honest and true and even if others misinterpret your 'no' it is okay. You have to answer for you and what works for you. One thing about mom's is they survive!! They always love you. They may push to get things done their way, but in the end they are just happy to get things 'done'!! This could be a new beginning for the two of you. As she gets older, you will be saying 'no' a lot more. or 'YES' like 'Yes, we are going to the store today b/c I am available today , so get your shoes. LOL

I broke away from my mom very early. I was about 22 and she had left my dad (for good reason) but then she went on a binge...she dated everyone and everything. She got married again. Left him and was living with a man I never met - she was in another state abut 12 hours away. She had basically gone off grid from when I was 16 and left me at my grandmother's (RIP Nonna). Anyway - she called and told me to move to her state. I had a job and friends and there was no way I was going to live with her live in and his kids. I was very polite and said, mom - I really have no plans to move and I am happy you have found happiness. She began to scream at me - who do you think you are? How dare you talk to your mother that way? You are so disrespectful! I just shut my eyes and prayed (stay calm) I said Mom, are you happy with (man)? Yes. does his family like your company? yes - well I am happy where I am too so let's just keep in touch. She seethed.........you don't respect me - who are you? and she began to cry into the phone. I begged her to not hang up and tried to calm her down. Finally she did and I said something like You have a good life but I am not moving, is that okay? Do you understand? She hung up. Then about 5 months later she died while recovering from an infection from surgery. My grandmother called me and told me and I asked if I could go with her to the funeral and she said it would be best if I wait and they will have a service when they return home. I felt terrible - I didn't feel terrible b/c of my decision at all, but I felt terrible that she left this world thinking I was a terrible daughter. I vowed then and there, I'd never let my girls (to the best of my sane ability)ever think that I didn't value them. Oh my girls will joke that I have favorites and that I'm not fair - but I can do things with each of them separately and together and Love every minute!! Do they drive me crazy?? yes!! But my love for who they are is amazing. There are moments in time when I think "my mom would have been very proud to have 4 grandchildren who are so sweet and I really believe she would have spoiled them like crazy" and I like to keep that thought as a happy thought. Relationships are hard in all ways - and you have turned a wonderful corner and I know you will find great growth and love in this new chapter!!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 03, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1497 cal per day = 6day average. VERY GOOD.


Thankful Thursday (I could say this from now till the end of time). Thankful that my boss likes me & supports me. I had a rough morning to the point of a fast cry in the car to let out steam. I am very stressed. Called my psych therapist and dr to see if I can get something stronger to help me through this month. I feel like I need to be superhuman to be able to continue with the gym & work like this till the 28st of March. 

I’m going to take off Friday the 25th as well before this wedding. Yes, totally taking off an extra Friday leading into the wedding week. As well as the 28th Monday thru Friday the following week. 6 days OFF. Last time I even took a week was ALMOST SIX MONTHS ago Feels like longer – that’s how I KNOW I am stressed out. So “F” everyone and thing. I’m doing what I NEED TO FOR MY OWN HEALTH! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME EXCEPT ME. THAT’S FREAKING LIFE. IT SOMETIMES IS FRUSTRATING. ANYONE ON HERE THAT’S GETTING STRESSED READING THIS, I’M NOT VERY SORRY. THIS IS MY DIARY AND MY LIFE I’M WRITING ABOUT. I’M HERE FOR YOUR SUPPORT. I COULD USE IT NOW.
I will use my tax returns to pay myself what I would have been paid the 6 days I’m not being paid. Instead of saving that portion of my tax return, I’ll take out around $700 to account for the 6 days unpaid from work. That’s all. Last year, my tax return was around $3,500.- I expect the same this year, if not MORE. I worked less overtime this year, so, I made actually $10,000 less on my W4 FOR 2015 - it shows.
And this following year for 2016 taxes, if I don’t get a raise, I’ll make a full $14,000 less. Talk about frustrations! That’s why I need to not even stress….and realize…hey!, I’m joining the academy. No money problems then. Even after 3 years as a cop, I’ll make close to 60k. so. Yeah.
NYPD. …Money problems SOLVED. So instead of letting the stress fully get to me, I need to breathe, be happy, and proud that my health is improving. YES. IT. IS. !!!!!!!!!!!
6:30AM: Selzter with stevia, 3 cups kombucha 100. Need to buy more kombucha after work before gym…will buy enough to have for next week as well. I’m too busy right now.
10am BREAKFAST – easy today boss had me busy and I thank him even for that – banana 120, more coffee no nothing in it besides sweet and low, bulletproof chocolate bar 180
400 before lunch.thinking like I’m superwoman – the only way I’m going to get by. Hey, I only have THREE weeks till I have a week off.GOOD. whatever. Who gives.
1pm lunch:

400 before lunch.thinking like I’m superwoman – the only way I’m going to get by. Hey, I only have THREE weeks till I have a week off.GOOD. whatever. Who gives. 1pm lunch: lots of sautéed veggies 350 with a bag of shredded lettuce 20 and most of a nasty veggie burger thank gosh only 2 left 80. Total here: 450 at most prob. 850…awesome Snacking before gym: big apple 100, granola bar 100, energy drink 50 at most 250 1100…

total today: 1500 = perfecto.

workout = was amazing.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 03/03/2016:
Dang Girl! Remember you can only live one day at a time. I know you have plans and dream. But remember you can't do any of those things if you kill yourself in the process. Glad your boss is cool about you. You are right though, regardless of how you work, and if you are there or not, that place will survive. I learned in my life, no one is indispensable! Try to enjoy the rest of your day. Go beat the hell out of a bag at the gym to help with your frustration.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/03/2016:
Thank you for understanding me to the "T." Everything you said, I feel & that is what the gym does for me. Exactly.

Awesome50 on 03/03/2016:
Don't apologize for what you are writing. We're here to listen. Hope your day gets better!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/03/2016:
Thanks Awesome :) thanks for lending me your ear & support. Sending you some support as well...must get back to my commenting tomorrow evening !

hollybelle on 03/03/2016:
You are right - just breathe. You have worked this out - now just rest easy in the knowledge that you got this. A wedding, no matter how joyous an occasion is stressful on family. Hang in there HOP!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/04/2016:
Thanks Holly...thanks for the advice, support, and tips regarding weddings & family.

grannyannie on 03/04/2016:
Hang in there. You'll do fine. Don't stress yourself. I know easier said than done. But you can do it.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/05/2016:
Thank you Annie xoxo

Donkey on 03/05/2016:
I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to have the time to post, but I read this earlier and wanted to say that I support your goals for yourself 110%! I feel like I could have written this -- or maybe more like, I would have wanted to write this for myself too. You go get 'em! Don't let anything stop you. This is your time.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/05/2016:
Thank you so much for your support and for thinking of me enough to comment back on this entry. It's true that I could use everyone's support here. I am forever thankful for this site as a place to vent and hear other's views of both our situations as well as yours - and everyone's views of the world. DD is a special place and I am forever thankful for people like you that I have met here & even get to have a connection with on other media support sites like FB. I'm so thankful to have you as a friend J. You have motivated me just now to keep going. Stay strong. xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 02, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Working It Wednesday….ohhh, how I miss that lady on here! Are you still here, WorkingIt?

6:30am: Kombucha 70, Aminos 30
8:30am: coffee 50, banana & fish oil 130, yogurt 100: 280
Snack: Bulletproof high fat & moderate protein bar 200 at most
1pm Healthy lunch: lettuce 10, veggies steamed with a little sauce 150 I think (gotta check the frozen package..), white meat chicken ½ breast with some skin 200 or so. Total here: around 350.
snacking before dinner: one candy 20 on drive home, strawberries 50, and some veggies 30. around 100
bigger dinner: sautéed jumbo shrimp and scallops...and veggies...in sauce. filling. around 550 at most.
around 1600 at most.
5-day total avg: 1496/day! awesome.
weight is not coming off quickly. ... wedding in just UNDER one month! 4/2! wahoo!
i'm still averaging between 117-118 most days on scale...only after a very light cal evening, low volume, do I see 116 on the scale.
ohhh, how the rumors go around in an office. ... ugh ugh ugh. time to talk less, work more.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

puddles on 03/02/2016:
Have a great day J.

grannyannie on 03/03/2016:
Looks like you've been doing well.

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