forums directory search about DD
or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
Donkey 2 hrs
Horn_Of_Plenty 3 hrs
Jacky82020 5 hrs
BearCountryGG 11 hrs
legcramps 13 hrs
grannyannie 18 hrs
InnerPeace 4 days
Maria7 8 days
happy-1 8 days
blueocean 28 days
KathyBlue 12/13
thinkpositive 11/17
Corazon 10/06
Coffee&Calories 10/05
trishpiglet3 9/29
Duaa123. 9/28
tgshare 9/05
renorebul12 8/14
Mayelle17 8/02
sarawills 7/30
Sunny2020 5/19
vettie 4/30
abdab74 4/19
jazzstorie 2/24
Southernboy 2/09

Recent Forum Topics
low calorie snacks? - 9:31A 4-Jan

Diet Pills - 11:33P 17-Dec

spam deleted - 5:57P 25-Oct

spam - 8:24A 26-Sep

The Diet Solution Plan - 1:04P 7-Sep

Cannot edit entries :( - 1:16P 27-May

view Horn_of_plenty bio page
Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 25, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

2120 4-day average.

Cookies and coffee 200

snack: wrap 100, honey 50, pb 200

Lunch: rice and beans 250? chicken smallest bites 100?, veggies sauteed 150, matzah 100: 600.

1150 after lunch. healthy!

Snack: caffeine and small choc bar 100

1250 before gym.

Dinner protein cookie 350, later some nori chips at 9:30pm bc i have an appetite right now lol. and reg potato chips...felt i neded the carbs and moreso salt.

1800, perfect.  

Today was pretty good. My annoying boss played some trick on me, not writing it out, so i left late.

But then my good looking, hot, MARRIED so no i'm not hitting on the dude...he walked into the gym next door and saw me working out! That made my night! But then he left? and he was in gym clothes....i don't know...was he there just to change and say hi and then leave. i'm sure tomorrow he'll say hi or smile that we saw each other? i feel like i almost imagined it...it was FAST. and he left?

i swear this happened. and i'm glad it did bc i doubt it'll ever happen again...because in one month i'll be done at the gym next door and already paid to join the one year old gym, BLINK, which is two blocks from work, instead of next door, but newer and better. I'm sick of the crap place next door to work. I'll still leave my car safe in the work parking lot, but get to walk a couple blocks to the gym and back...good for my health!


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 24, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Slept pretty well but seems I am sleeping better and better, without pills, during week. I can feel myself getting a pretty good night's sleep tonight, too.  Need lots of energy bc I work long, busy weeks, every week.  This is going to be good for me....overall....a tight and precise schedule. I can do this.


ACV in seltzer with stevia.

Breakfast: wrap100, extra pb 200, honey extra 50, drink / candies 50: 400

Snack:1 egg and 1 weight watchers oatmeal raisin cookie. 200

600 before lunch.

Lunch: veggies and sauce 300, calamari 100, grain 120 - 550

1150 after tasty lunch :)

1950 total, excellent.

3day avg:2220


 Long Story Short:

My New boss is a piece of work.  He's been my boss since October...and i can't trust him for the world.  You'd think someone his age, 60, would have some heart and be kind somewhat. He is not. Like a devil disguised in nice clothes. A fat devil is what he is. (sorry no offense ot anyone here, but he thinks he's perfect and he's just not!) Oh well. 

I'll make this work.  I'll play his rules. Let his bull**** and inequality that he allows fly back in his face when he least expects it. He's racist, hates me as a Jew and is out ot get for no reason.

My boss hated my old boss who is also his boss. My new boss now likes the people old boss hated and tables are turned so that i'm not benefited in the least anymore.

Lots of changes overall in my entire company like the owner was even fired from his own company after he sold it.

There's a lot of revenge and butting heads. 

My boss is stressed, and does't seem to like me. He's Italian, typical from an area where it's very Italian in Queens. I am not rasist, never thought i had a problem with him, till now...till I see how he favors this other girl over me...sorta like my boss used to favor me over her....it's a sick world. And upper managment wins = my boss wins = I'll deal, unless i want to leave, which i will....in December.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

jabockov on 04/24/2017:
I'm so sorry your boss is difficult to work with. I retired early because of a similar situation. I just got too old to handle all the c**p. Work should be a joy, something you look forward to. Can you transfer to another department, or is it time for a job or career change?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/24/2017:
I am changing my career in January to join the police force. I will enter the Janaury 2018 Academy :-)

I just need to hold out till mid December here! So yes, i am thinking the same exact way as you - Get out! :-D

Also police job is more reliable and better pay after only 3 years i'll be at the same pay scale i have now...and then I will almost double it in 6 years as an officer.

Thank you for your kindness. And your insights.

innerpeace on 04/24/2017:
That sucks! Hostile work environment is no fun. Hold your tongue and look out for number 1. It's obvious no one else will.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/24/2017:
look out for #1 you mean me right? right....i will be good. no choice. it's funny he showed me this AM that Shannon, his secretary, can talk as much as she wants. she can curse, he'll let her.

innerpeace on 04/25/2017:
Yes you are #1. I hate people who blatantly use double standards.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/25/2017:
I am unsure why he's taking such a chance with it. Then again, it doesn't matter. I am going by his rules, leaving on time. I will not just show him that he's got me upset...i will move above it...

my father is in the industry, not company, and if anything, i have someone to reach out to - although i definitely hope i don't have to at all. i don't want problems, but did make my father aware of this situation...and of course that led to a bit of an upsetting morning which ended up improving. of course my dad doesn't want to deal with controversy or know that i'm involved in office upsets. so it was hard to speak with him about this. i hope it's over.

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 23, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Monday Morning Update: i did wake up in middle of the night but was able to fight a craving to get up and nosh....and instead i WAS able to get back to bed. I didn't take a sleeping pill, but did sleep pretty well anyways.  This is good.

I'll be working on my sleeping this year.  And working on taking less sleeping pills.

I need to have my life under control (as healthy and low stress as i can manage) before i leave this job.

I do feel positive about it.  I do feel I am able to overcome and accomplish this, despite recent setbacks at work involving huge miscommunications.



Breakfast: dried fruit 80, almond milk 30, fiber one 180, cinnamon. total: 300, good.

Snack bar 200 and candies and caffeine drink 50 550 before lunch with parents Asparagus 150, roasted root veggies 250, pepper salad 200, salmon larger piece 500 and dessert darn 250 1900.. Bigger dinner 650 2550. 2350 2-day average


Bigger plan for today is to meet my dad at my grandma's place and visit her from 9:30-11:30am. Then have lunch back with my mom and dad (mom doesn't go to visit grandma).  After lunch, i'm driving straight to the gym (which reminds me I must bring my gym clothes!).  After gym, back home. Maybe cook burgers (i bought the meat already).  Maybe wash my sheets, but i don't think so....i may wait till Monday after work. Either way, I think i'll shower now....

Life will be very busy. I've made the decision, which i want for me right now, to not take any days off this year. To leave work in mid-December instead. I may not even wait till mid-December. But I'll try. then I'll have a month lapse between when i leave work and time to rest up / prepare for NYPD academy.


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Apr 22, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Breakfast: oatmeal 150, dried goldenberries 80, almond milk 20, protein powder 80, 330.  caffeine.

Snack: bar 200.

530. fruit and bread...

 750 cals

3pm meal with friend: Fries 300, shrimp 150, salad with cheese 200, dressing 50, pickle, veggies 50, alcohol drink 150 950. 1700, good.

strawberries 150 (entire quart)


5:30pm: dessert wrap 100, pb 200, honey 50: 350.

2150, good.

hour walk.

bed early, waking up early for family stuff. took sleeping pill.

very busy.


Last night in bed, I pulled my fb account off for awhile.  I disabled it bc i am having too much hassel at work and all around. I've decided to take some time away from the world, especially fb.

Today i have nice plans to go to a new park with a friend who lives a few blocks from me. Older guy, no intentions to date, but a friend. We going to park and lunch after.  Always nice to get a walk in with a friend at a new park here.


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 04/22/2017:
WTH is going on at work??? I'm so sorry... Lay low and do your work and go home. Thank goodness you have the gym and your goals.

Enjoy the park today - I'm not sure the weather will cooperate by you? (Was watching the Today Show while working out.)

Horn_of_plenty on 04/22/2017:
it rained but drizzled only. we got lucky as it rained more when we were back in car driving to lunch! it was like a nice hour walk only some scattered drizzles.

yes, thank goodness for gym and goals.

work is lousy, that's all. it's high stress with loads of change for everyone. and somehow whenever i open my mouth even if it's for GOOD, i get blamed for what comes out. so....my mouth is sealed.

and it just goes to show that everyone has good and bad in their hearts...but some people prefer to use the bad side over the good. it's life. not fair or equal.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/22/2017:
my friend couldn't believe the **** i've been dealt at work and did tell me it sounded quite harsh. but that's life. usually the boss wins.

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 21, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

2240 avg this week good!

Happy Friday - I'd like to say, for once, after a full week, I feel quite EXCELLENT! I have this....NYPD January 2018 here I come!  I have no more time to delay it, so it's mandatory for me to enter in January. Will learn to run this late Spring / Summer.

Unbelievabe afternoon crap edit: This Friday ended in Drama at work again. with me involved. I'll write another time, it's too stupid to share. I have already made the choice to not talk to anyone, anymore (within reason). I will now have many days eat at my desk as well to have lunch here and not cafeteria. to leave at 4:30pm on the dot. I arrived here early, 15 min early at 7:45am. I will leave at 4:30 - there shouldn't be an issue here.


Home: Honey local extra larger serving 100 cal...it's done the job - hardly any allergies so far this year! fingers crossed about this. i usually get horrible pollen allergies. fingers crossed that this year it'll not affect me badly. And ACV with seltzer (cheaper than kombucha and is doing the job...i just have to perfect now the amount of ACV to add to seltzer so as not to waste too much ACV and also not to use too little so it doesn't work....will practice...as it's cheaper than kombucha (WAY CHEAPER).

8am breakfast: back to craving more fat and protein - wrap 100, cream cheese 100, salami with black pepper 100, coffee 50. 350.

Snack: almonds and also dried okra from a really sweet lady coworker that i get along really well with. a lady i don't hang out with much anymore, but she's cool. 200.

Lunch: matzah 120, beans 50, veg 150, soy chicken so good 250? 600 tops

1250 after a tasty lunch.

Snack: ? not sure, ,maybe granola bar - been liking this in the afternoon even on days without gym. 100

1350...before dinner. plan is to pick up plastic forks after work walk to the dollar store by work and then next pick up rx at drugstore.  

I am 



Total 2200. Good. Laundry will be done soon then reading and bed early :-)


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 04/21/2017:
Can't wait until you go to NYPD. Is it residential training? will you leave your apartment vacant while you training? I know you will be busy but will you still check in with DD?

Horn_of_plenty on 04/23/2017:
It is not residential training to my knowledge. I'm glad it's not. Def not as I never heard that...so that means normal living at my apt.

I plan to YES check in with DD because i do like this online community a lot (and have been part of it for over 10 years now!).

Horn_of_plenty on 04/23/2017:
This is for January, NYPD.

innerpeace on 04/21/2017:
The girl said she wanted to start the couch to 5K with me, I'm excited for this, but she doesn't like to sweat or get dirty so not sure how long it will last.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/23/2017:
That is really healthy for her. Try extra slow with her, if she needs another week of each week before moving onto the next challenge with that program. ...

This can change her life. She can lose a lot of weight if she gets into activity. It's really healthy.

Maybe tell her it's healthy to be active...good for the mind and body. It will make her feel more powerful...stronger.

but be careful talking about weightloss as it can cause an eating disorder in young girls....that's my take.

mylilsista on 04/22/2017:
Sorry you had another negative experience at work. It sounds like detaching is a good idea--at least for now.

You sound SO motivated to join the NYPD. January will be here before you know it!

Have an awesome weekend dear :)

Horn_of_plenty on 04/23/2017:
Thank you so much, lil sista. It means a lot to have your support when at work i don't & my close friends are few.

I'll be doing this on my own...this journey to NYPD. THANK YOU for your support!

And yes, detaching at work. Just coming in on time & leaving on time.

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 20, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

2010 6-day average, good! 

Home: ACV drink, honey, banana 150

Breakfast: coffee with milk and splenda 30 (had half), energy drink 0, wrap 100 with pb 150 (and some of that banana) 250. 300.

Snack: egg. 50.

Lunch: extremely healthy: white meat turkey burger 120, avocado half 150, broccoli slaw mix 100, other veg sauteed 100, matzah 120: 600 tops.

1100 approx

Snack before gym: granola bar 100, caffeine (oh and candies thru morning) 50 more.

and had one more granola bar at 3pm 100


after gym: protein cookie 350 and then back at home after a shower i had a craving for more carbs so i filled that craving - wrap 120 with a banana 120 and some honey 30. total here 650 tops.

total today is good: 2000. seems my body is i think able to burn around 2000 daily, i think, maybe, to maintain. we'll see.

Gym workout was one of my best. I wore only a sorts bra at the gym that i usally don't do that at - but it was worth it - i worked out harder. I may continue with that method.  It seems that nobody really gets offended....and that i am still respected....and i like to workout this way....i may.


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/20/2017:
Hope you will have a better day today.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/20/2017:
I am, thank you Puddy F. I will comment later on your entry. Seems that everything is stressing everyone at work - boss took it out on me...things seem better for now.

mylilsista on 04/21/2017:
Sounds like a great work out! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/21/2017:
Planning on it!

PS - I was supposed to give a ride to a coworker after work today (FRIDAY!) to get glasses for him as a favor but he DOES have multiple days off he can take now to do it himself and he does drive and/or take busses.

I can't do the favor for him - decided to tell him i have to visit my parents...

I'm learning to limit what I say YES to. :-D

I need to take care of me after work today...not be running around getting glasses for a coworker / friend - when they are fully capable to do it themselves....

It's another "errand" that i don't need to do...it's not even for me!

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 19, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Food: ACV drink and some honey and later a small banana. 150

Breakfast: wrap 100 with small amount plantain 100 and peanut butter 200. 

Snack:egg 50 small amount and candies 50

12:30pmLunch: matzah 120, avocado 160, veg burger 150, more veg 150 tops: 600. and caffeine.

3:30pm granola bar 100


So busy i didn't even calculate a total until now coming back to this entry on Thursday night ! oh my lol. 

Dinner: tons of brussel sprouts and yes sauteed 400? with eggs 150. and i think this is it? and then dessert of a hair of ice cream 60. total here is 600.

total wed: 1950, excellent.


 Housing meeting tonight at 7pm...planning to have dinner at home first (or maybe mostly veg and a snack later after the meeting also!)...pick up some hot food and then walk over to the meeting as it's 10min walk from my place.  So a nice mile walk there and back tonight :-D  It's a meeting for all of us housing residents bc we hold stock as it's a co-op. It's an optional meeting that I have never attended in my four years living at my apt, so I'm eager to attend this ear and see what it's about!


As I wrote to Annie:

Going to take it day by day. Going to be ON TIME always to work. Leave ON TIME always.

I will manage the stress that I can manage and the rest I'm going to try to ignore.

I will do what I can, as well as I can, to make these last few months at this job simple, efficient, fast & as lessened in the stress dept as I can possible make them.

i will do what i can to stay out of everybody's way. I will do what i can to shut up and sit at my desk.

When it's 8am i'll be here (if not a few minutes earlier). and when it's 4:30pm i'm out of here, on time.

Annie, thank you.

I am going to try to absolute best to manage what i can. And not stress about what I cannot.


Work right now, well, it sucks.

There's a lot of tension overall in my large workplace.

And more and more, the office is cutting it's staff and downsizing.

I'm lucky to have this job but people are not all good right now, especially to me.

The tension for ME in particular is HIGH.

I am thinking it's a new week, my mood is lifted...and then....BAM! i'm struck out again. there's no relief, and it's very unsettling to me.

I thought it was a new week - was so thankful - and yesterday while i walk by my boss' office - he asks "seriously, is everything ok? you need to settle down and stay at your desk.".... When he asked me this question it was VERY unexpected by me. I was happy yesterday until that point. I was actually assisting a coworker earlier with his questions and helping him out.  I was doing my work.  Yes, i had spoken to a few people in the office also. ... But it seems that in order to get thru this job it will require me sitting down and shutting up COMPLETELY.  I don't find it healthy and i find it very old-school and typical of what assembly line work must have been.

I HAVE NO CHOICE.  So i am making one choice - arrive at work each day at 7:45 and leave at 4:30. Take my lunch in cafeteria and sometimes walk if i want to outside with an even shorter lunch. Speak to nobody. Not even friends. And run the hell outta there at 4:30pm.

For me - the workplace has become hostile and mean and inconsiderate. It's become a nasty place where many people would rather bully and laugh at people who have troubles.  It's become a very sick place for me to show up at.  My boss that said that to me was off both Fri and Monday....i worked that whole week as well as basically every single week (with one day off recently) every single week since early february. Get me out of this work environment. I shall leave at 4:30pm every single day as long as I'm in charge of that for the rest of my days.

There are some people i can still talk to if i have a problem. It's not a totally neck for neck place. But many of the hostile people still have jobs here and people's true colors are coming out.

It's become a neck for neck and hostile environment. And it is far from equal in terms of days of and stuff - some people have 4 weeks vaca and some of 2. It is what it is and nothing is equal - that's life.

I'll get thru but thank gosh for anxiety pills i take.....because i have a lot to get thru before this academy.

Trust me - you would be running for your life too if you had my job. People can be nasty. I'll NEVER understand why.


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 04/19/2017:
Stress is so bad for your health, but unfortunately can't always be avoided. It's helpful to make sure you eat healthy, get enough sleep and workout.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/19/2017:
Going to take it day by day. Going to be ON TIME always to work. Leave ON TIME always.

I will manage the stress that I can manage and the rest I'm going to try to ignore.

I will do what I can, as well as I can, to make these last few months at this job simple, efficient, fast & as lessened in the stress dept as I can possible make them.

i will do what i can to stay out of everybody's way. I will do what i can to shut up and sit at my desk.

When it's 8am i'll be here (if not a few minutes earlier). and when it's 4:30pm i'm out of here, on time.

Annie, thank you.

I am going to try to absolute best to manage what i can. And not stress about what I cannot.

Donkey on 04/19/2017:
WORK: I completely agree with your approach. I think you will find that it will help with your stress level, even if it doesn't bring you to a happy place. I'm sorry that you have to put up with this bull****.

If nothing else, this is another motivator to get you closer to your NYPD goal.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2017:
yes, trying really hard now to keep stress down. to learn to get by on minimal days off and stuff. I'm going to do it :-)

And then I'm leaving this job before Christmas but will be paid for the 2 weeks i'm saving up till then.

innerpeace on 04/20/2017:
I hate to read this...especially when we spend so much time at our work places. Sometimes it is hard to stay at your desk...i know trust me! I always just go with, they'll need me first before I need anything from them.

I hope it gets better as you mark your time to bigger and better things.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/20/2017:
Better, i just have to remain at my desk...or tell boss exactly where and when i do things. seems OK today :-D

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 18, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

2012 4-day average.


3:48pm afternoon edit: i go to say hello to another administrator while i'm at work...my boss then proceeds to ask me if everything is ok? and that i need to stay at my desk and not get up!?


I am so angry. people here chat all the time. but i cannot chat? at all!? WTF man.....getting out of here will be the BEST THING EVER FOR ME!


I am now not allowed to talk to anyone. I must sit at my desk and that's it. I'm so sick of this piece of sh*t place here at work.;




Honey and kombucha also but didn't poop for some odd reason so sorta bloated slightly. not the end of the world! 100.

Breakfast:  wrap 60, with broiled plantain by me! 100 (small amount), peanut butter 200: 360, and some coffee but throwing away 40 coffee

snack: hard boiled egg 70, almonds 100 or so.

Lunch: Sauteed veggies in a lil oil 200, turkey burger 120, matzah 120, piece of fried plantain 100. 550.


Snack before gym: caffeine and bar 100.


after gym: protein cookie.  maybe some fruit also.

1650, total.


in Morning - (lately i drink some and then i don't have a taste for evening finishing it...weird). and totally not wanting lots of meat. sorta forced myself last night to eat meat. craving more carbs and i'm eating them. feeling good. ....and later i had an unsweetened matcha drink that was cool and i sweetened it with natural stevia. very cool!  i had found a small can of matcha at the store on weekend specifically buying it to enjoy at work. very tasty!



Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 17, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Here at work feeling alright after last week and a more restful weekend thankfully i needed it so badly.  :-D


Home: tasty kombucha did the trick 70 cal a nice blend of carrot, ginger, and blood orange was the flavor. Expensive but treating myself right now.

Breakfast tasty at work: coffee i think accidentally with creamer (ordered it) 50, wrap 60, plantain that i broiled last week so tasty and fresh still! 140, extra peanut butter (not wanting meat wanting more carbs as I usually do during TOM time of month week lol) 200: 450 :-D

Snack: hard boiled egg and also drinking caffeine thru morning in addition to half the coffee the rest was thrown out. 80

1pm Healthy lunch of course: fried plaintains small amount 150, matzah one piece 120, cooked veggies with some oil 200?, turkey burger small but darker meat 150, 650 or so.

3:30pm granola bar 100

dinner: higher in carbs and no veggies (had mostly rice, a turkey burger, and lots of strawberries). this time of the month i do NOT crave veggies. it's the weirdest thing!

2000 cal today, excellent.

2133 3-day average.


i think i want to buy ice cream or some frozen yogurt later to have with dinner. i also see myself going to sleep early tonight and reading :-D 

It's been a relaxing day and I'm planning on a nice night. bosses are out and my schedule / work load is very light right now. i'm content on relaxing.


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 16, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

2200 2-day average. i think the honey has paid off....that i've been having in order to prevent some spring allergies. we'll see if it ends up working out!

Tasty breakfast: honey 50 (20% UMF which is healthy for immunity, inflammation, allergies, etc.), oatmeal and almond milk 150, cinnamon, protein powder 150, peanut butter 200. 550 and good for me. followed later by energy drink.

snack: wrap100, avocado 150, egg/egg white 100 350.  period cramps and cravings. may take pain reliever.  makes sense that my body hurts - wasnt any easy month or week leading up to it....lots of stress.

total is excellent: 2050. goodnight all. very busy lady i am. trust me. NYC is nutz.

will comment on your diaries tomorrow prob at work. right now reading and resting. 


Gym: i want to go early.  but my body still feels bad.  leg thigh cramps. feeling bad. but nothing i really can do. i will go to gym. and come home and relax. nothing more i can do, really. life goes on. i don't have extra days to take off work. life is what it is.

when i'm close to leaving work, i'll leave early when i feel like and not give many sh*ts about it - i did all i could for it will be almost 7 years at this job when i leave. I worked loads of overtime and at times it felt like i gave my entire soul to the company. I am NOT kidding. I will make this work. I will rise above.  I will become that officer in January. My dream will become reality. I shall not give up on myself. It will come to be.  This is what I will say to myself when i feel stress. That I have risen above on many occasions - and I will do it again.

Nothing will stop me. No matter how stressful.  I have this within my reach. I just worked a holiday week without a day off and after going to Mohegan Sun. I have got this. NOTHING WILL STOP ME.  No boss.  No bully.   No Man.  No Family.  No Friend.  NOTHING WILL HOLD ME BACK!


before 11am - already all turkey burgers, i made 9 of them (2 packages) are cooked for the week. also going to cook eggs later as i ate up all the ones i made yesterday. I am ready for this week - as ready as I want to be.

 I am learning that life is going to be this way always - to better off get used to my new life...2 weeks vacation will be what i get until i'm 40. So I better learn to get used to it. Once in NYPD, I will have understood how it works - that on my holidays to always leave early...on important days in general to leave early. or I'll be pulling my hair all out by the time i reach my 40th birthday.


I will take a sleeping pill today - i want to be in bed extra early. It's a long week with gym on Tues & Thurs as well as a housing meeting (this one is an annual meeting only & i have NEVER went - and i've lived here 4 years so i want to go.... - it's on Wednesday). So my free days are Mon and Fri of this week, only. I AM a busy person.

Next week, I also have a meeting to attend for my union which is only 6 times a year. I may skip it as I have been relatively very busy and relaxing might be the way to go next week. ...but who wants to think of next week before even getting thru this week !? lol. moving forward...



I've put in an extra 2 small loads of laundry this AM so that I can feel better about the week. I washed the mats in my bathroom (one load) as well as the pillowcase I used last night, towels, and any clothes worn since yesterday bc when i got the haircut yesterday evening (a pixie cut! - now i have really short hair which i will keep for a LONG time if not the rest of my life!)...so yeah - my clothes and body was itchy this AM from the haircut so i washed those things after i took a shower.

Now I am feeling good...body is a bit crampy from period especially in my right thigh as usual. but i'm relaxing and getting ready to read more of the book on habits that I am enjoying from the library.

When i go to work tomorrow, people will comment on my hair - I am happy I did it - huge time saver. I can now concentrate on my NYPD goals, training, and gym. I cannot let anything stop me. With little vacation and sick days per year, the minimum for my industry as I haven't reached the 7-year mark for any extra holiday time, I need my free time to use how i need to use it - and on my hair is not that way.

Period now comes mid-month instead of closer to the end of each month. That's fine...Happy to be mostly home this weekend. I slept SO MUCH yesterday. 12 hours during the night from Fri into Sat and then I fell back to sleep for an hour after breakfast and an hour after lunch. That's when you know you need sleep. Tonight i'll take a pill and go to bed extremely early. Last night i didn't take anything - and still slept around 9 hours. Body needs rest.


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 Next Page ]