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Horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 19, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

7 day = 2175 or so. good.

kombucha 50

breakfast: toast 100, egg 100, butter 100, coffee 50

keto vanilla shortbread flavored bar, decent but not great 250, chocolate 100

Noonish: coworker gave me a nice breaded chicken she didn't want yesterday 250 really good, cauliflower rice so good (made by coworker again!) 100, veggie salad 50, pepper 50. total here: 450. nice.

3pm snack back at home - feeling i want a nap but will probably have coffee instead strawberries 70, 2 cookies 80 and iced coffee made with almond milk 50. 200 nut butter 100, apple 50

healthy and tasty dinner: small piece of sausage 100 made by coworker homemade! so good!, half avocado 150 on 2 rice cakes 50. 300

during and after workout: aminos, coconut water, chocolate 150,more choc 50, nut butter 100

2150,excellent. and got a little walk in, laundry and NEW strength / weights routine. ok...

with family most of the day tomorrow...! talk to everyone later!

 

 

laundry went on after snacking, but first i relaxed a read a book and that felt good, now just had a light dinner while clothes are drying and also exercising :)  

 

Def leaving work at 1pm to get home, do a short walk, and LAUNDRY before i do ANYTHING Else....that'll be it with laundry until after the trip (aside from a load i do in Paris halfway thru the trip lol)!

after laundry is done, it's off the agenda for the weekend. i might even be able to pack on Saturday instead of Sunday, we'll see. and i plan to do the new workout routine tonight to check it out (see below).

___________________________________________________

THANK YOU to everyone for the input as of late. i'm anxious for the trip, and even more anxious about my changing workout routine. I'm specifically changing it as a plan to reach a change of career goal i have. if i don't shift my workouts, i will not make Court Officer no matter what. so right now, i've decided that when i get back from my trip, the majority of my exercise is going to cater towards passing the test which the only trouble i'm having is the cardio elements (very good with pushups, and pretty good with situps). 

i don't have a lot of free time during the week and need to sleep regular hours (not at all planning to slack on sleep just to train more = no way!).  so, because time is limited, i feel i need to PICK AND CHOOSE which workouts are priority and which i can skip for the time being until my cardio is WAY BETTER which could take over a year.

MY Planning this AM, at work & future action plans to be taken really soon:

as a working person, with an hour commute approx each direction (2hour commute) for each day, on top of working a schedule of 8:30-5pm, it's just not possible for me to feel RELAXED all week AND train everything i want. 

and being that this is going to be a LONG process, where i NEED to feel somewhat good in the LONG RUN, i am going to forego most of my upper body routine aside from just 3-4 exercises. Of course, i'll keep pushups & situps (as they are needed for the test). I'm going to skip off on Planks for now - go back to the later as they are really similar to pushups which i'd rather just concentrate on only. YES. 2 exercises.

Leg exercises: all 4 i'm keeping, they are all variations on a squat (3 types of exercises) as well as heal raises plus i'm adding in one other stretch / strength builder for the front muscle of my shins! 5 exercises.

so, counting all above, i will combine both lower and upper body again since i'm shortening the upper body so i can do it with the lower in a good amount of time on strength building days. this is a count of 7 exercises. i feel i can add two more: biceps and chest press (i prefer not to lose the strength i have gained using very heavy weights for those exercises.

so, 9 exercises for strength days which is PLENTY. PLENTY!

as the other days i'll do cardio and that's all i have time for. I will email this to myself, as this is my new weights/strength routine and it does feel a little too much, so, i may switch off on leg exercises, not always doing all 5 at each session, i think! i may do a chart where one day is 2 leg exercises and the other day 3, etc. 

by getting strength done, 3 days a week, i have time to concentrate on my agility / cardio. i'll start by figuring out a certain distance, working on sprints inbetween the selected distance....i'm going to google exercises that help agility / jogging...i haven't come up with a cardio plan just yet. this is for the opposite days.

 

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/19/2019:
I'm sure your trip will be wonderful....France is so very different.....I had a French grandma who often spoke french and I think it is the most beautiful language to listen to.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
yes, it's SUCH A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE!


Donkey on 04/19/2019:
Please consider hiring a running coach, specifically for the court officer test.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
yes, i am going to need help and a coach i know this....and will look into this when i get back from this trip i will being this research for one month i'll give myself. someone who will teach me agility exercises? i def need help...please give me any and all advice and do not feel like you will upset me.

i'm walking into uncharted territories and am going to need some help with the cardio part, yes. i feel i will only have time for training the running part by exercising on the grass next to where i live, i'm going to try to make the cardio part as local and convenient to my apt as possible...this is going to prove challenging, but i do think i can do it - with a trainer!... i am going to use your advice and i respect it.



Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 18, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

KOMBUCHA 70

Breakfast: toast 100, egg 100, butter 100, coffee 50, chocolates 50

snacking: bar HEALTHY TYPE 230

more snacking, huge appetite 100 cals in honey roasted almonds so good

lunch: leftovers ;) small pepper and tomatoes 50, chips 250, chicken sausage 250 500-600

snacking: POPCORN 150, CHOCOLATE (STAYED LATE AT WORK)

total 2250 and no additional exercise and bed early 

 

earlyish to bed before Friday which is a SHORT DAY...will leave at 1pm or 2pm, i've totally decided to do this. go home tomorrow and do a walk home again so get home around 4pm if weather is ok, then do laundry ending around 6pm too before the weekend, possibly start to pack for my trip on Friday night after laundry & work :)

 

 

 

 FEELING EXTREMELY TIRED AT WORK, DEF THINKING TO TAKE IT EASY TONIGHT SINCE I KNOW I'M LEAVING EARLY TOMORROW, JUST DO MY WORKOUT TOMORROW = YES.  SO, NEW PLAN IS BED EARLY TONIGHT :)

PLUS, NOW THAT I'M RESTRUCTURING MY WEIGHT TRAINING TO BE SO MUCH LESS AFTER THIS TRIP, I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT IT ANYMORE LEADING UP TO THE TRIP, KNOWING THAT I HAVE TO CHANGE MY WORKOUTS COMPLETELY ANYWAYS ;)...SO MAYBE TONIGHT I'LL JUST DO PUSHUPS AND SITUPS, AND STILL GO TO BED EARLY! :)

I MAY STOP WEIGHT TRAINING COMPLETELY, JUST TO KEEP PUSHUPS, SITUPS, AND PLANKS. :) AS I'M NOT GOING TO BE TESTED ON ANY OTHER "WEIGHT TRAINING" EXERCISES FOR THE COURT OFFICER EXAM.

I'LL BE TRAINING MOVING FORWARD ONLY TO HELP ME ON THE COURT OFFICER EXAM. WEIGHTS ARE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN, POSSIBLY, UNITL I PASS THE COURT OFFICER EXAM ;) AND SINCE THE EXAM ISN'T HAPPENING FOR A LONG TIME, IT COULD BE AT LEAST A YEAR UNTIL I START UP WITH WEIGHTS AGAIN!....AHH BUT I COULD CRY JUST TYPING THAT...I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO DO AWAY WITH WEIGHTS, REALLY I DON'T...OK...

SO I'LL JUST LESSEN THE EXERCISES, BC I AM NOT WANT TO END WEIGHTS COMPLETELY...STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS.

_________________________________________________________________________

Once again, i have come to a realization that i have to make further bigger changes to my workouts in order to make them sustainable and also to make my cardio goals sustainable. So long to the LONG NIGHTS of upper body cardio.I'm going to once again combine leg and upper body days, by shortening the upper body part down so that the workout is no longer more than 1 or 1.5 hours with combined upper and lower in one night. that will be 3 nights per week. then, i am going to make sure to put in time for cardio, which will also be 3 days per week. so, six days a week training with weekends possibly optional weights and cardio in one day? still thinking about. it's a lot more training time than i do now, so i'll implement little by little for the next couple months. 

It's TOM and i'm really happy about that....before i go on my trip and not during, thank GOSH!

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 04/18/2019:
Have a great trip! I hope you didn't have the Natre Dame cathedral on your list of to dos...I guess you can see the remains.

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
Believe it or NOT, i had planned only to spend 2 hours or so there...not a LARGE amount of the day...and i was sad not to be able to see / walk more around the Seine or over a bridge...so, i'll see the remains from afar or what we are able and then possibly walk a bridge, or just end that day early ;) and get laundry done for the rest of the trip (packing so light on purpose!)


BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
Have fun on your trip, when do you leave? And what IP said....so sad about the fire!

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
i leave NEXT THURSDAY evening! ahhhh!

yeah, the fire is crazy bc i don't think anyone ever thought that notre dame would ever fall down after 850years standing!


legcramps on 04/18/2019:
Get some rest tonight.

RE: dropping the weight routine. Would you re-consider? I see you've stroked out that paragraph, does that mean you've already re-considered and changed your mind? I'm just mentioning it because weight-training can be extremely beneficial when training for a cardio endurance event/test. During exercise, oxygen that reaches your muscles is converted into energy. Improving the flow of oxygen to your muscles improves your athletic performance and stamina/endurance. Developing lean muscle mass will actually improve speed and endurance rather than slow you down.

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
Resting tonight. I just don’t have enough time to train as much as I’d like - I have the limitation of time and know I do need my rest so won’t be losing sleep to exercise.

I’ll do some weights but way less I think. There’s just no more hours in the day :/

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
I think in order to pass the running tests I have to just forego some of my weights routine bc it’s just too much training to do both well. It’s the time issue and I know I’ll go back to weights but maybe never the way I do now - perhaps when this is all over I’ll just be happy to live life and less concentration on fitness I think and more on life goals. Like I’ll do what it takes to pass a test but then I’ll do what I want for life.



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 17, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

600

 

home kombucha 50

8:30am breakfast toast 100, egg 100, butter 100, iced coffee change of pace from starbucks (small size!) 50. 

9am snack1: it was a nice lady's bday and i enjoyed most of the piece of cake she gave me :) it tasted very much and strawberry and the cake was nice and moist and the cream not too heavy. really nice! not more than 150-200 cals. smaller type of slice. yum.

snack2 pistachios 150, and a little more 50

Lunch: from home: chicken sausage 200, tomatoes 50, and maybe some chips 250(on a chip kick!)550 TOPS...shortly after 3 smallish clementines 100 and a black coffee with steiva

snacks: CHOCOLATE FROM COWORKER 50, almonds 100, last clementine 50 (i can tell TOM is coming! huge appetite!)

1650

2250 total, 3 mi walk :)

dinner: not sure, i think it'll include avocado - eating healthy fats will help my skin along as it's already better compared to last week! and i did try to be healthier over the weekend, and not drink too much alcohol or caffeine!

exercise: will walk home partial, just enough to call it exercise, bed early :) 

_________________________________________

Starting to feel cramps coming on...hope for all of TOM to start and be done before my trip next week ;)

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/17/2019:
I see that you have been having problems with coffee...me too...I've been sticking to just one cup a day because it was making me jittery too. I don't know why it happened so suddenly but it started with a brand of K cups by Community............

horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
yeah, i ordered a medium iced (instead of sticking with a small) and i drank it so fast it hit me, the caffeine that is.

it's not a good feeling when the caffeine hits so hard that you get anxious. it's been awhile since i last felt it, so i also need to be more careful. maybe water down those k cups, spill some out and just use hot water for some of it. they obviously have a higher caffeine count.



Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 16, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

kombucha and bite cookie 100

too strong coffee yuck and shaky (next time a smaller coffee!) 50, toast 100, butter 100, egg 100, chocolate 100: 

bar 150

snack crackers 200

Lunch from home: sausage (chicken) 250 and cabbage 100, chips probably too100, SEAWEED SALAD 100. 600 :) 

snack: pistachios 100, it's a higher cal day but i'm trying to stay healthy. i had too much caffeine in the morning which sorta hurt me.

Pm pre workout snack at home: strawberries 100, nut butter 100, iced coffee 50. 250.

1850, good, ....time to start up this workout....

during workout: coconut water, aminos drinks, peanut butter total 150

after workout: TBD - small peanut butter on toast :) 300 (two tablespoons, one slice, folded in half!) SO GOOD.

2300 :)

2145 per day,4day, ok!

______________________________________

tonight is upper body and proud of myself for doing legs last night. lately getting good sleep, too!

doing well and keeping some boundaries set so i can go into this Paris trip feeling ok.

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 04/16/2019:
Oh I hate it when I get shaky after having too much caffeine! It's such a horrible feeling. Your lunch sounds yummy.

When are you going to be taking your run test? You should give a trainer 12 weeks leading up to it so they can give you the proper programming and support you need to smash your goals. I'd at least start networking now to see if you can find a trainer that you can mesh with and work together with. It's one thing to just give you a program to follow, but if you're hiring a trainer, you're hiring them to support you in a lot of different aspects of training, not just the programming.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2019:
yeah, after the Paris trip, i'm going to start looking and thinking seriously about it...thank you for explaining to me how important it is. i hadn't really considered it until i wrote it here that ricky thought it would be a good idea...and now that both you and donkey are telling me it's important also, well, i know i need one.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2019:
i'm going to find a couple trainers...see how i mesh with them, start with them by mid summer i think...it will take a LONG time for me to get better with the two tests i have to pass, but i think it's very possible if i get help.


Donkey on 04/16/2019:
Shakes from the coffee are not a good thing.

I am glad that you have considered using a trainer. I was afraid that you might have been offended at the suggestion. And of course, I meant after Paris :)

Horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
NEVER offended.

it's basically up to me whether i want to regard this court officer possibility as a "DREAM" or a "GOAL."

time is ticking and i have time to shape my future, it's up to me if i want to take it more seriously and more logically this time - focus to pass the physical test bc this time i KNOW what the test is and can practice it (unlike my former failure at police exam.)

i will be forgoing health insurance for life by leaving this industry. BUT, by leaving this industry, if hired and passing both the written and physical tests for the court officer, i'd have a job for LIFE as long as i don't do stupid things.

so, court officer opportunity gives me a career path whereas that's what i don't have now. that's enough for me to feel good about my future.

court officer, first, involes a written test. i don't know the date, it's bound to be either this year or next: definitely before 2021.

the physical could come soon after or a few months after. so, i have time to do this right this time.

sorry for this long entry...

if i want to change my life one last time, i can if i get a trainer and do this right. i even have a slight connection in the world of court officers who is related to my sister's husband. she might be able to help me (but i have to pass things on my own of course). i'd use her as a reference and see where that would go.

of course, this is all a dream for me, but it could work if i put in time.

no vacations are planned after Paris aside from an overnight. i'll try to remind myself of the real goal now and for awhile.

i have gotten very strong in my upper body routine by not skipping and can do more than i have been doing in maybe the last couple years.

i'll have to build back up after paris.

it's time to focus :)

thank you, for listening.



Horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 15, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

 kOMBUCHA 50

Breakfast: toast 100 with leftover guacamole made so nicely by diner ! 100, egg 100. , iced coffee for change of pace from starbucks lol 50

Bulletproof Bar 250 (keto), later pistachios toasted with salt 100

noon chocolate 50

lunch: 600 chicken sausage, cabbage, bag potato chips 

wrap 150, remains of my egg diner veggie egg white omelette150, half avocado 150 450, popcorn 100, clementine 50

2000, feels good to eat healthy chocolates 100

2100

3day: 2090

________________________________________

actually i want to work my legs out tonight, my mostly 3 types of squats routine and also calf raises...after i relax a little bit, i'll put the tv on and do my leg routine since i'm home rather early tonight.!!!!

________________________________________

Tonight i have no fitness planned. I wore boots to work bc of rain, so i will not be doing extra walking either.

I'm looking forward to another night of restful sleep and then doing my workout tomorrow night (upper body!)

It was a REALLY good, productive weekend. and i got good sleep throughout.

Waking up early to exercise worked out really well, basically bc i went to bed early the night before. 

 

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 04/16/2019:
Oh my, your lunch sounds like it was delicious!

How was your legs workout? I'd like to lean out my thick legs. Low weights, high reps, and diet. <<none of that is easy!

More comments in previous entries...

horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2019:
legs workout was a bit weak, but, i got it done and i can tell it was worth it. i'm attempting a goal of just 2x a week and it seems worthwhile and enough. :) my legs are also thick, i find cardio has helped me more to lean them out in the past, actually, but i find a need more to work on my strength using the squats.


Donkey on 04/16/2019:
Commenting on your comment on another diary:

I would strongly recommend that you get a running coach- trainer sooner rather than later. They can get you on a good plan that you can work after your sessions have ended. Then, closer to the test, you can hire again for a few more sessions.

This is the approach my son used to prepare for his re-entry. After his PT sessions were done, he continued to use what he learned to build up even more.

Don't wait until too close to the test. Time is the best tool you have.

horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2019:
once again this is valuable insight and now i have backing from Ricky, You, and Legcramps all telling me it is advisable to look into a trainer. I shall be doing this, after my trip once again :) ....i'll be here and listening activiely to you and legs and any advice. i do hope to crush this goal and it is necessary i get outside help in additional to my internal motivation to win. THANK YOU.



Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 14, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

550 up to lunch

lunch egg whites and veggies 200, toast 200 with butter 100, tons of sautéed broccoli 300, little guacamole 50, 

fruit and girl scout cookies 150

dinner: more egg white omelette 100, veggies, lots of guacamole 200, indian chips 150.  450-500

snack: dark choc and yogurt 200

2200

bed early :)

2day 2075 ;)

 

  

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!


Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Apr 13, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

 

promise to write to everyone tomorrow...very sleepy and have to be out of my place around 7am tomorrow....

_______________________________________________

8am 2 small pcs leftover fried tofu 100,toast with butter 200, 2 pieces dark choc no sugar added 50, iced coffee 50. 400 :) kombucha 50

egg and later more dark chocolate 150

egg and a chip 100

tasty lunch chicken salad from coworker 150, chips Indian flavored 150, cauliflower and a little potato 100, dessert 150  550

snacking: string cheese small piece 50, later tons of strawberries 150

dinner: wrap 150, half fresh avocado 150 (gotta eat better), 3 pcs salami 100, and rose sparkling drink with alcohol 100. total here 500

1950, excellent.

exercise: 45 minute walk at park between errands :)

and watched the movie gangs of new york which is very long...and was good!

_____________________________________________________

Before 8am i've been up, showered, prepped some breakfast, hard boiling some eggs. I plan to eat & relax on couch, do my leg exercises before around 9am when Ricky comes over.  He's doing his laundry at my apt bc his machines at his apt are broken. So, we'll go down together and get both of our laundry done down there in the laundry room. Additionally, i borrowed a movie from the library, Gangs of NY, and we'll watch that while laundry is going.

I'm not sure what else i'm doing today? I know i should clean the hamster cage, clean hamster cafe tomorrow,  too...and  a LARGER food shopping for this week ahead and possibly even prep by food for the week because tomorrow, sunday, i've signed up for a 5k walk and it's going to be tiring and i won't be in the mood to do things after it tomorrow.

i think i just want to use today to get organized!  It's nice and warm, but quite foggy. i'd go walking, but i'm doing that tomorrow and am not in any mood to overdo!

another thing i can do is write up my health reimbursement form of all the copays and rx reciepts i have paid with proof so i can be reimbursed from my fund...that'd be nice to get done before i go away as it's extra money i will get into my checking account (not sure how much at all...gotta do the math...it should be at least $100)refund i checked is only under $100, so i have to wait before submitting as it's too low an amount.

 

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 04/13/2019:
Sounds like a lovely weekend! Wow, a 5k! I hope it goes well. Please be careful with your ankles.

A nice little check from your health reimbursement would be nice! I don't envy you having to do the paperwork, but it will be worth it. Get it done :)

Horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2019:
the 5k went great! yes, all our feet hurt towards the end, but yes, it was so worth it! and nice it ended quite early!

i ended up doing the paperwork, and it was just over a hundred, so i sent it in! always nice to get a $100 around just after a vacation!


Donkey on 04/13/2019:
PS I will comment more on your previous entries - check it out :)

Horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2019:
i did read your comments and i appreciate it so much...i am feeling SO MUCH BETTER about all these things today!


Maria7 on 04/14/2019:
Hope you have a good day.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/14/2019:
yes!



Horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 12, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

kombuha 50

breakfast: toast 100, egg 100, butter 100, coffee 50.

snack chocolates 70, LATER  A BAR 180

LUNCH 600 TOPS, TEA 50

SO FAR: 1350

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 04/12/2019:
On Walking With Co-Workers: - I walk with my coworkers during breaks; one in particular that I am friends with, we walk together almost every day throughout the summer months. Sometimes, another colleague joins us, which makes it tough because now there's three of us and sometimes one ends up walking behind. What I do when this happens? I make sure they do not ALWAYS stay behind, i.e. i'll switch places with them. Also - I will make sure they are part of the conversation so they do not feel left out. Moral of the Story? If they can't even include you in the conversation, forget about it. It's not worth it; it would be more beneficial and healthier mentally and emotionally for you to take the walk on your own and to heck with them. True friends will always include you, HoP. Always.

On Social Media Posts: - I will miss seeing your posts as well! I don't care who doesn't like my posts about working out, i'm still going to post them because it's something I LOVE doing. Yes, I said LOVE. I can love working out just as much as I can love a delicious supper I made myself, or a beautiful new bike I want. It's totally OK for your friends to think about love in a different way, but the MOMENT they decide to try and control the way YOU think about it, THAT'S the moment where their opinion and perspective no longer matters. Personally, I wouldn't even worry about whether they hate your posts on fb - it's your page, you post what you want. If they don't like it, that's COMPLETELY their reaction and has NOTHING to do with you.

Be passionate about your life, and forgive others for not having the same passion about theirs. They don't understand yet. Maybe one day they will.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2019:
your comments were very much on spot in terms of the guidance i needed, thank you...i appreciate you taking the time to write it out for me.


Donkey on 04/13/2019:
^^^Best advice -- on BOTH topics. Two highlights to focus on:

"True friends will always include you."

(Paraphrasing) Use social media for YOU -- forget what others think. I think of my Facebook page in two ways: public service announcements (be nice to bees) & my own "scrapbook" of memories. It's for YOU, not the approval of others.

A step-back to regroup (borrowing from IP) and re-evaluate might be helpful.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2019:
your comments are appreciated, i'm still iffy about the fitness posting right now...trying to perfect it, maybe not take so long all night doing it these days...

i appreciate your feedback as those thoughts on my mind last week and on the weekend were really, really bothering me!



Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 11, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

for anyone on fb, i am starting to try to get into a habit of no longer posting much there. i want to make my workouts something more personal and not as media oriented. my reason is to make my passions true to myself and not need social media motivation for them. i want to only prove to myself my workouts, not the world. everyone is busy and chooses what their passions are. i no longer need social media to make working out worthwhile...i am SO BEYOND IT, especially regular fitness posts. social media for me will focus more on the social aspect, but not my workouts.

on another strange note, i teased a couple "pretty good" friends for posting photos of their action heroes (they have no kids and consider their stuffed animals their kids and they have names and all for them, they are VERY UNIQUE friends, well, i teased them for not dusting their action hero...they deleted my comment because i guess i embarassed them and they hated it.!!! i realized they deleted it when i recieved a notification someone else posted, and i just realized my comment was no longer there, so obviously they deleted it. i messaged them i was sorry, just teasing, they actually didn't even respond to my message, i must have really upset them!

lately, just all the weird things going on, these are reasons i have less desire to show myself on social media, especialyl working out which is so important to me. the couple i'm talking about actually HATE my workout posts. i used to block them so they wouldn't see them...

only i know the importance of physical exercise, and i am starting to get over posting it for the world. it's too important for me now to share with people, who regard my passions in ways i don't want them to? 

what i'm saying is, social media, for me at this moment, is something i am vearing away from currently.  i'm started to become agitated by many things on it. not everything. i just need to concentrate more on my passions, not everyone else's, of if they really care about mine.

i need to refocus.

___________________________________________________

in general, lately, i am agitated by many people. i have been told by my supervisor, good advice, lower those expectations of yours...she's a friend.

if i coud escape for a month to live in sunlight on a beach, i would! LOL...people are really annoying lately! lol....

____________________________________________________

kombucha 100,

breakfast coffee, 2x, 100, toast with egg 200, butter 100. Chocolates 70

snack: will be a bar :) 200

Lunch: fried, battered shrimp (4) 200?, tomato salad 50, sauteed bok choy 150, seaweed salad small 50. 450?

snacks: almonds / fruit 150

...MUCH BETTER THAN YESTERDAY :)

before exercise: nut butter 100, fruit apple, and iced coffee 300!

during exercise: amnios drinks / coconut water 100

after exercise: bar 250....and BED :) this week has been decent, better sleep than last week!

2000 :-)

6day:2080

_______________________________________

asking for your input on the following issue / your opinions:

went outside and walked at lunch with two female coworkers a few times. when i go, they walk in front of me and i trail behind them like a pet.  I realized, this is not gonna fly and i'm not gonna be uncomfortable at lunch, on my break, trying to "make new friends" when the one new person of these two women really doesn't seem to care to much about anything / anyone outside her life other than herself....

i walked almost one year with the other female coworker out at lunch, then this other lady comes to join working here at this location office and all of a sudden the other woman does whatever she wants and it seems that i am just "not part of this duo"

the new woman in the office was friends with the woman in my office longer than i have been and gone away together on vacation with a group. ...i was never friends with the "new woman"...

she posts on instagram and i was following her for awhile there, liking her stuff. it was not reciprocal and she never liked me stuff there.

as you guys know, here, i don't like lacks of recirocation and i realized i'm not liking her stuff when she doesn't like mine.

i stopped following her on instagram, thankfully i don't follow her on facebook (not friends there) ...

and i will NEVER go to lunch with the two of those women together again.

she treats people like pieces of sh*t, but i won't hang around to be treated that way again, especially at lunch.

(BUT THE OTHER COWORKER, THE ONE I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH FOR A YEAR, BROUGHT ME FOOD TODAY....THEY AREN'T THE SAME...)

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 04/11/2019:
I feel for you there. I just couldn't put myself in that situation. I try not to get personally involved with coworkers, it makes for some tense times at work if something happens or is said that offends the other. And I know for certain I wouldn't walk behind anyone.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/11/2019:
yeah, it felt so wrong, with them in front of me, i can't even hear their conversation in the middle of bustling NYC! so, i promised myself i would never do this again - go out with them - it was really uncomfortable for me to follow them around, at a very fast walking pace (the new girl walks FASTER than typical people - yeah, i'm not kidding! - she likes to "get her steps in!")....i just can't do it. i told them i want to be more independent right now. i think it's a fine excuse and i'm going to keep my word on it. i will not be forced to walk around and rush and do what this new girl wants, sorry.


Donkey on 04/12/2019:
You added a lot to yesterday's post! I will give you my 2 cents on the walking party first.

If this were me, I'd go walking by myself. New Lady sounds like someone I would avoid at all costs. Reminded me of my own Queen Bee. Does your regular walking friend not realize how rude New Lady was being by having you walk behind? Ugh! Forget that **** and forge ahead, in front, on your own journey (walk)!

horn_of_plenty on 04/12/2019:
yeah, i told them basically there's no room for 3 people on the sidewalk. LOL. that's as frank as i can make it.


Donkey on 04/12/2019:
Now regarding social media:

Ironically, I was just thinking of posting more flex pictures or something. I don't post very often, and kind of wish that I had more interesting things to post about myself.

As one of your followers on FB, I will miss your fitness posts, or any other kinds of your posts, since I truly find then very interesting! Having said that, I recognize the need (or desire) to step back from it all, and focus on the intrinsic joy from working out...

Many of my friends have stepped away from FB during Lent. I have a strong feeling that many of them may not come back, lol.

It seems weird to me that you gave friends who are actually averse to your fitness posts. What's that all about??

I understand your intention to make your workouts more focused, as an personal, inner journey, rather than an outward display on social media. Try it, see if it works better for you. FB will be there if you want to post again.


Donkey on 04/12/2019:
PS However, if you decide to switch platforms, such ad posting on Instagram, please let me know so that I can follow you there (lol) :)

horn_of_plenty on 04/12/2019:
I AM ON INSTAGRAM, JAHE99 :) FIND ME...I WILL BE REfraining from posting for awhile on purpose there especially as the new lady at the office follows me and i don't want anything on here feed, do not want to block her or anything either. on fb, you can set up posts to a few poeple, so i do prefer the privacy of facebook more.

the friends that don't like my posts, two of them specifically, have argued with me that i cannot "LOVE" to workout. that LOVE is relationships, not working out. that working out isn't a "hobby" more like a lifestyle or something like brushing your teeth. it's regular, lot a "love relationship."

the husband actually is the one, of these two friends which are a married couple, and they are always traveling as he's a professor and she works per diem so she takes off always and they have been to most continents of the world already.

the couple isn't into routine as much as quite the opposite. they are the ones who smell at times and don't shower / practice the best hygeine or clean their clothes every week. yet, he has a doctorate.

they live and travel differently than most people as they are able to do more than most people because of their career paths. they are usually very supportive and friendly, but, i do think the husband is jealous of the visual, outward success i have had with my workouts, whereas he doesn't have a body close to one he'd want in his dreams or real life. they like to indulge in things. they love unhealhty food and desserts. they live like everyday is their last. their lifestyle is so opposite mine but like i said they are VERY NICE to their friends and usually 100% supportive as long as you aren't hurting yoursef...

they do not ever like my fitness posts and for awhile, i blocked them from seeing them bc it truly hurt my feelings that they couldn't support me. they feel i'm obsessive and always injured (in the past) so i must not be doing it right, was one thing mentinoed but very in the past.

when i eat healthy or get together with them, the husband's favorite line is "treat yourself!" he wouldn't enjoy my lifestyle for himself and that's fine ;) as i said, they are generally really thoughtful friends but i don't see them much anymore as they really are always traveling and she works 6 days a week for most of tax season as she's an accountant.

i feel i have to tell you these things, j donk, as i am stressed about a lot lately and need to talk to someome, like you.

horn_of_plenty on 04/12/2019:
yesterday, to add to the craziness, this couple just so you know has stuffed animals that they have names for and call their "children." i'm not joking. the married couple i am telling you about is pretty unique / different from the norm. everyone accepts them (the couple) bc they generally accept everyone. it's reciprocal. but not on my fitness end.

but anyways, they has posted a photo of some action heroes they have standing up at home. one of them was exceedingly dusty. full of dust. and i figured when i saw it that if they love these action heros so much, i commented something like "is that dust on your lightning figure!?...i think he needs a dusting!"

well, i wasn't trying to upset them, more like pointing out something obvious with a tease. like, if i had posted something i like, i'd have dusted it first.

well, they deleted my (i admit not the nicest) comment. and i noticed because their post showed up again on my wall, and i had looked for my comment and realized they deleted it. i sent them a message privately that i was sorry, i meant it to tease, not to upset them. well, they read my message and IGNORED IT! apparently my comment was so off-base and rude that they wouldn't even respond to my apology.

like, really!?

i've decided i'm sick of social media and that if people cannot take a joke, well, really it makes me want to distance myself. i feel my life, my being, my spirit, my pride is being played with in a way i don't like very much at all. my life is too precious to have people jerk me around wherever i go: work, home, social media. that's the exact reason i feel i cannot even post lately. i feel my life is too important to display it to people who disregard it. and i have only the control over my life, not other people's views of me. it makes me want to live a life nobody sees. so i can be more true to myself.

i have gone on trips and done things i have always wanted to do. i feel like everything else i do now, it's icing on the cake. it's for me. i have nothign left i want to prove right now to society.

i have my mom biatching at me how my sister is busy with a baby. like, it's mentioned at every conversation, how tough it is to have this baby around....like, ok.

i have the new coworker who i was trailing after at lunch like a lost puppy plus she walks so fast it's not even a fun pace! (not exaggerating, she walks FAST!)

i have friends on facebook actually ignoring a message i sent them privately.

like what else!?

my feelings and views are being pushed to the side people really not caring. i am left taking care of myself and starting to not give two ***** about anyone else.

i have started another "wakeup call" to take care of myself right now. that nobody else matters at this point in my life.

i just feel as of late, that i have obviously had expectations of friends, coworkers, family, and social media....and the outcomes don't meet my expecatations. when that happens, it's a realization that i can ONLY control myself and my reactions....and to just walk away from the bull and nonsense being projected towards my path.


Donkey on 04/12/2019:
Sorry about the typos --- using my dumb phone to post. I hate posting on DD with my phone!!!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 04/12/2019:
thanks for listening. / if you have advice, i'd take it.


Donkey on 04/13/2019:
More to say, mostly just chatting with you, throwing out ideas to see if some of it can help you....

First, I have to tell you, I think your married couple friends are rather unique. It sounds like they are very well suited to each other. However, the whole attachment to figures and stuffed animals is ... well, not something I've seen before. It can be a slippery slope when we attach our emotions to objects rather than people & other living creatures. And I did find your comment to be very funny. It's too bad that they seemed to be offended by it.

Which brings me to another observation: To me, it does appear that you are sensitive to feedback on FB. This is NOT a criticism!!! What I mean by "sensitive" is that you are aware of who likes your posts and who does not. I confess that I do not always "like" all of my friends' posts, because I know they get notifications, and that if they get 20 notifications that I've liked their posts, that might be a little annoying to them - LOL... It NEVER occurred to me that my FB friends might even be a little offended at me because I didn't like their post(s)! So this is a learning opportunity for me as well.

I want to circle back to what Legcramps said, that she posts things about her workouts, etc., because that's what SHE loves to do and she's documenting & sharing that with others. If others don't like it, that's on THEM, not on her (or you). So this brings me to you: It's YOUR life and YOUR journey. Facebook is one way to celebrate that.

IDK- it's OK to step back from the virtual world and focus on real life. Regroup and re-evaluate. Your fans/friends will be there if you come back.

PS So help me understand this: It's OK to love figurines & stuffed animals like your children, but it's NOT OK to love working out??? Say WUT????



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 10, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

kombucha 50

breakfast from buffet, need a change, oatmeal smaller amount 100, scrambled egg whites large amount 150, 2 small pieces of canadian bacon rounds 150, coffee 50. , chocolate (not helping me with anyting besides a craving ?!) 100 (it'll be all eaten up soon!)  600

snack: BAR 200

Lunch: leftovers from yesterday's salad of slightly seared salmon 250 (will not get that again!), few crackers/beans 100, veggies 50, dressing 50, other slightly dressed veggies 100. clementine 50. total here: 600 tops. 

snack: almonds, more fruit 200 and very tasty. maybe closer to 250 - larger portions :)

Dinner: not sure, but heading to bed soon afterwards!..planning to keep it lighter & lower volume as i had a large volume lunch :) dinner was small: almond milk and stevia with splash coffee for the taste only and low caffeine, ice cream small amount, popcorn 100 cal, and couple pieces choc with stevia only. 400 cal total.

total calories 2050. 

5day avg: 2095, good.

exercise: 2 mi walking, decent.

____________________________

Plan is for some walking home, but not the full 3mi.,just 1 mi extra, still good! (not looking to overdo and looking to get to bed early tonight. 

I am feeling tired.

i actually don't like to talk to my mom on the phone i don't think? she stresses me out at every call...it's actually annoying, to the point where i think i'd NEVER choose her as a friend! grrr....she's just annoying, telling me she wants me to do things, without asking nicely, just telling me "how about you sleep over here next friday into saturday instead of coming saturday..." it's not always convenient for me to do this....she doesn't even give me a chance to think about the situation before providing an answer...annoying. she's forceful and demanding. annoying.

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 04/10/2019:
Get some rest tonight; maybe the phone conversation is extra annoying because you're not feeling well rested?

But believe me, I know what it's like to feel annoyed with a parent. It doesn't take long for me to become annoyed with my mother either, or likely her annoyed with me. We just don't have the same ideas and/or values in life, and it's sometimes hard to connect with ANYONE who can't respect where you're coming from, never mind it being a family member - that actually makes it so much worse!

Keep your chin up, after all, she is your mother and you may not need to deal with her all the time but you should still have respect for the relationship you do have with her and the time you get to spend with her. It all ends a lot sooner than we think it will :(

Horn_of_plenty on 04/11/2019:
i think my mom is just really nerving me. my sister had a baby and my mom keeps saying "well, your sister can't bc of the baby..."

and it's just really annoying as i don't need to "step up" in place of my sister.

it's like she's forcing stuff on me. except, i'm not ready this time to just "yes" her. i have my own life, which my mom can't believe i'm just not always "free" ! annoying!

your overall advice i thank you for.


Maria7 on 04/11/2019:
Hoping you are having a good day.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/11/2019:
yeah, it's been a lot of decent days!


Donkey on 04/11/2019:
I am not a phone person, period.

Hope you got some rest and sleep. Thus is something I've be struggling with myself, lately.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/11/2019:
same here, but i gotta say, this week has been 100% better on sleep compared to last week! :)



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