Thursday was around 1950. Very good. And my upper body, and, push-up routine at gym.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
TGIF! Looking towards a nice weekend. It will Be busy and fun....just gotta decide when I am doing laundry! Probably tonight.
1400 before dinner.
yep, laundry is drying now...it's 8:15pm. got a ton done after work: supermarket and laundry.
exercise: 5 min stroll around building, the errands.
Late night snack of two plums.
Totally forgot about the 130 cal Bar I ate on the way home...so...more like 2300. Little too high.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
For a juicy entry read yesterday's lol.... 1600 cal before later evening snack...
yeah, so splurged on having both the drumstick and half a chicken breast both with skin from a rotisserie chicken I bought just now at the supermarket. I will assume around 500 for them (with skin and some extra seasoning) also, a wrap 100. AND kale salad that had a bit of dressing, i'll assume 100-150. total here is around 750 prob at most.
total: 2350. was craving fat and real food. feeling better now.
PT was ok. not much in terms of flirting. and I think I was in a good mood but also quite tired...and I think it showed later on near the ending of the session...anyways, so glad it's the weekend soon.
I will relax one of the days on the weekend, for sure...just not sleeping enough and feeling too tired.
and need to eat better....too many bars lately.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
Calories: 1850, perfect...turned into 1950 cals, having trouble sleeping since Sunday night and reached for some chips around 2am this morning... Also gym session, as well. Looking forward to PT tomorrow...not to mention I get to see Paul, my adorably single PT guy. I know it sounds bad, but I really am bad. I like breaking rules and doing the unthinkable. But this has nothing to do with the reasons I like him. This man is the most understanding and easygoing man I have ever met and I will miss him SO MUCH after this if I am not able to see him anymore.
Without Paul in my life, like he is twice a week when I see him and we chat about everything and joke and flirt and tease each other, I will be quite upset. I will feel like I have lost a good friend. For I have known in over 1 1/2 years now! and seen him more frequently than any of my actual friends! (even though it's been thru PT).
Like I've mentioned, we used to text (with ME initiating) and i'd come to realize it was no good - that he is better in person than text. So right now, it's about continuing to get to know him, to enjoy spending time with him when I see him. To continue the friendship - i'm sure he'd agree the same. I see him for up to 6 more weeks before I even need to worry about anything. Then, I plan on continuing to go for fitness (many people do) and paying out of pocket which is no problem bc my insurance refunds me thru my medical funds. It's great....
I do hope, down the road when I am healed that he will consider me as someone more than a client and even more than a friend.
Of all the men I have ever met, he's the ONLY one that has understood me. And I will be upset to lose him in my life. Even though I have never dated him, I know i'm far more unique than the average woman and I don't have an easy time dating. For this reason, I am certain that Paul is someone special I was meant to meet and maybe not only for PT.
Hey, it's a wish. If it doesn't happen, i'll be ok :)
Been sorta running around. But all is good. Hope to catch up with everyone on the weekend.
I am SO HAPPY.
Because my ankle has been showing DEFINITE improvement. I am so close to being healed. I doubt I need longer than a month until the pain and really the problem now is weakness is gone. I can't wait to not worry so much that my arch of my foot doesn't feel supported as I walk because the injury will be gone and it will not always feel this way. But, like I've mentioned recently, all because the pain and weakness will be healed soon, the injury is still healing. I will take it slow. I am thankful for again a second chance. There will be no jogging until Fall...and after apple picking season :) What I'm saying is, I've taken all the chances God has graciously given me. But now, the choice is mine. I can train too hard and reinjure or I can be extremely careful and win over my goal to get into the NYPD. The choice will lie in my hands & I vow to not try to ever overexert my lower body for it's NOT WORTH IT. I don't ever want to experience the grief of pain and injury again like I have these past 2.5 years (but there were about 2-3 months where I felt all better before this Spring when I accidentally had another similar injury). 2.5years is a VERY long time out of anyone's life. And I am going to be very strong about this and achieve that academy because it's what I set out to do and I never back down on the things I truly want.
When I achieve this goal, it will be my biggest and absolute most important achievement in my life. And that's big. I have a bachelor's & a master's degree. I taught for 4 years in public schools. I also have a two year certificate of Xray Technology. I have been thru a lot of school. Succeeded and gotten high grades (lol, as well as some embarrassing low ones...I was never a perfect student! - always had some ups and downs...especially my first year of college.)
But I am worth it. I love myself and think well of myself enough to know in my heart that I will realize this goal of joining the NYPD. It's up to me to stay positive & me to go after it and make time for the training leading up to it. It's me to make it top priority and not to play around as much with friends if it's going to make me exhausted and not able to get thru these weeks these two years that i'm going thru at the moment leading up to the academy.
I am very proud of myself for continuing with the gym and sticking to my plans (even though I did give myself mandatory time off from all gym and fitness activity this past winter that lasted 3 months before I felt well enough to head back). There were also weeks here and there that I took off when I felt completely beat - and this is ok...all athletes need extra rest time to time...
This has all been a very stressful and challenging time for me dealing with the leg tendonitis (2 years until I made full recovery this past Jan/February) and then ankle tendonitis which started this past end of April (around 3 months and it is still mending, not fully there). Besides breaking my ankle over 10 years ago trying to snowboard while in college, these are the full extent of all my fitness injuries.
These tendonitis injuries are from overuse and me not being an athlete in the past, thinking I was indestructible and that I could train and train without full recovery.
I have a friend who is a fitness instructor. She teaches some water aerobics which is nice. But she also teaches hardcore zumba, other tough aerobics classes, she has also ventured into long distance running - half marathons. Well, I know her in real life and she is one of the biggest go-getters and enthusiastic and energetic women I know. She's around 40. But also, I stay in touch with her on facebook and she gets injured. She gets shin splints...tendonitis type stuff...small bone fractures in her feet. And I've come to realize that I cannot bear to have this stuff happen to me constantly. I cannot live my life constantly agonized by injury after injury. The woman I know tends to overcome them well and faster than I do....but still...pain and injury is not fun.
So, to be in the academy, i'll have to run. But, I will not need distance running of even 5 miles at a time under my belt. Instead of doing the maximum, I plan on doing only what I need to in order to feel secure that I wont hurt myself once in the academy. I'm not going to overtrain cardio. And, I am not even going to venture to start doing anything (I've even stopped my walking at lunch during most of the summer because of this injury - and don't plan to start again till into the fall & after my birthday - that means NO extra walking at lunch - it means doing less not more - I may change my mind lol and walk 10 minutes or so at lunch if I feel like it every other day...)
Thoughts are just stirring in my head now :)
Mostly joyful thoughts. An injury can be very depressing when you don't know the healing time frame. And I am just overjoyed that I finally notice it's on the mend. When something as little as tendonitis in an ankle takes a little over 3 months to feel the initial signs of reaching towards recovery, it feels wonderful to realize that I am going to make a full, complete recovery.
but this can't happen again. I must look after myself better when doing cardio. I must not push it. For if I do, I'll miss the age cutoff of the academy - which is around 35. I turn 33 in September. And my goal for the NYPD is January '17. I will be 34 then. It will be my LAST chance to do it.
But, in some ways, it's not time to stress about it or feel anxious. Instead, it's a time to be thankful and positive. To feel alive with enthusiasm for what's to come. To know in my heart that I am capable of fulfilling this burning dream. Just seeing cops on the road or on the street or passing a precinct, I feel a high. I want to join them so badly you could not imagine.
All my close friends know I have a certain affinity for cops. For service men...and women. I support them highly and it makes me smile just to see them. I even get pleasure in taking photos with these guys / gals. Some may think i'm weird and maybe I am - but this is me. and more importantly, it's my goal to join their ranks in the NYPD.
I will not live my life without meeting this goal....so just watch me! :-D
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
1800 cals so far. One more snack tonight.
Around 2050. Perfect.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
10amBreakfast: fruit 100 and 3.5 servings chips 450 = 550.
12pm lunch: some veggies in curry 150, chicken in wrap 300 1000, good.
Today is not as low-calorie as I specifically wanted & in all honesty, I don't think i'm ready to make today low cal at all. We'll see. even eating 1800 sounds dismal right now - like it's too low. Hopefully a good gym workout will make me feel better. Feeling good to have a lazy day but of course as usual I am tempted by food everywhere! LOL.
1:45pm: Snack before gym of peanut butter on a wrap with sf jelly. around 250.
total so far: 1250. good.
After gym i'm thinking a protein shake. and something lighter for dinner. not sure.
I may opt to also wash my sheets since I didn't do that Friday along with one load of laundry later today. everything's up in the air, really! One thing I don't need to really do is a lot of food shopping. R
eally, I could stay out of the supermarket today...or pick up very little. Honestly, I don't want to do a lot of errands today. I'm thinking the gym, have a protein shake, come back here and relax a bit more, maybe those loads of laundry. Maybe not :)
Big protein shake at gym 500
1750.
Will have a snack later as well. Can't be perfect.
Kombucha and protein chocolate quest bar. 250
2050. Good. And I had a great workout at the gym :)
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
Happy Saturday!
Today i'm off to a different beach with my best friend. This beach we haven't been to since last summer. We drive out about one hour from me & then take a 30min Ferry to the island. It's called Ocean Beach, Fire Island & it's very fun. Lots of stores and restaurants are there - it's very built-up. And the beach is beautiful.
This time I won't be walking around much on the sand, only on the concrete around the town of Ocean Beach that takes us onto the beach. I'm gonna try to let my ankle heal more this weekend and not do a replay of last weekend!
Breakfast: plum 50, hemp yogurt 140 with some sf jelly and stevia, and 1/4 cup sunflower seeds 160 total 350, good.
10am carby snack: chips 200, coconut water 50 250.
600. And a wrap 100
At beach pretzels 50, beef jerky 150, pepper 50, celery 150 and cucumber 50
1150.
Prob around up to 2200. Good.
Big portions for dinner, but all healthy.
Eager to make tomorrow a 1200 cal day. And cut some calories that way!
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
BIG dinner: kale salad around 150, cabbage/carrot/onion salad with little dressing 200 or so, other veggie salads 150?, chips 230, beef jerky yes you heard it right :) 150...total so far: 880 ah....yeah, bingeing slightly.
also had fruit, so, 2050 total - good!
no exercise, but did do my laundry when I got home and was also very relaxed this week at work :)
Average Calories from Monday thru Thursday = 2210 (little too high but not crazy).
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
650 cals before lunch.
It was a week of cravings and higher calories. I hope to make a dent of a calorie deduction again come Sunday. I am happy it's Thursday & having a good day so far!
around 2100 today.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
1700 cal before evening snack or whatever. Hungry week. But getting better, just a challenge after this weekend.
Late snack before bed: 2 chocolate brownie Quest bars. Tonight is what about staying in my calorie limit and that's all.
2050 total.
After a whole day at work, I went to the doctor close to the gym and where I live to pick up my insoles for my shoes. Then, I decided it would be best to go to PT. and I did. After it, I am feeling 100% better than I have since last night's gym session. It seems the physical activity is doing me well!
I did make it to PT...and of course it was good. And despite problems with texting my PT...and that sorta stuff....in person, we always, and I mean always, seem to be in sync. And by in sync, I mean extremely in sync. We talk about ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING. It's not typical. And i'm extremely thankful for that because I only have a few, really one, BEST friend....my other friends I don't call or chat with on the phone - only my best friend.
Well, my PT, I definitely consider him a friend. For sure. He is one of the ONLY people I see that I am able to have conversations about anything with....conversations that even include some philosophy...on both our parts. Honestly, i'm telling you, the conversations that I have with him I wouldn't and couldn't have with just anyone....it's because we get along, in my opinion of course, REALLY, REALLY well. It's heartbreaking to me that it will have to remain that way though, never anything more, not even when i'm done with him and PT.
It breaks my heart for the reason that I find it VERY DIFFICULT to ever have these types of conversations with men. And it's just so heartbreaking that with my PT I can fully be myself. and this is very, very rare for me. to be able to be myself with a man. and for that, i'm very thankful to have him in my life....yes, only as my PT.
btw, we used to text. but, since it was only me starting the texts (he would ALWAYS respond though) I decided I once again have to stop. Maybe down the road when i'm not his patient. But man is he a nice guy. with a warm heart. i'll be sad to lose his friendship....when that happens. oh, he's single. 44. I am around 10.5 years younger...for me, that's ideal. I do not like dating guys right around my age.
but yeah, I get it, there is no dating. He is my PT and I am lucky to get along with him so well. That's all.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
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