2 small pumpkin brownies 230 total. Coffee 70. 300. peanut butter 100
Wrap 300 popcorn 100. 400 150 huge apple
sorta light lunch, but i doubt calories were accurate? entire beef hamburger from Shake Shack. 400 ? really!? that's it? 450-500 is more like it?
back at home, doing laundry and relaxing the rest of tonight with an early bedtime :) few strawberries 50, some raspberries 100 and some sf drinks.
...and relaxing the rest of today at home, glad i could take care of laundry now.
5:30 dinner: salami 100, napa cabbage and broth 100, tortilla chips and avocado 350. 550 total...dessert: pumpkin choc chip brownie, by far my FAVORITE!!!!!!!!!!! 150 cal only, small piece.
7pm and 1 more pumpkin choc chip brownie 100 smaller piece! sooooo darn good!!!!!!!!!
2350-2400 total...maybe a hair more but counting on sleep early, too tired to do much else today.
2day avg: 2350, fine...been pretty active.
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Chicken soup will have to wait until tomorrow....since i'm not sure i'll be up enough hours today to pack it away out of the crockpot lol. so tomorrow i'll cook it.
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have to be somewhere close, just under 10 min walking, at 7:45 today. meeting friend to go downtown near WTC area and brooklyn bridge for the "Kidney Walk" fundraiser for all Kidney Diseases.
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24 pumpkin brownies, small size, 130 cal each. i had two of them at 2am lol...230 cals. too much caffeine in afternoon finally affected me, so i'm up a little at night, it's ok...still have two days left of this weekend :) the brownies are better at room temp...so, they'll be good this week for work breakfasts. they are less good straight outta the fridge bc using almond flour, they are a bit dry since the recipe called for whole wheat flour, not almond. i still like them...def cannot share since i was eating out of the pumpkin puree all week and it's the same puree in these brownies lol.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
NEEDING TO VENT SOON ABOUT ISSUES MAKING PLANS. UNRELIABLE FRIEND. AND SAME FRIEND WISHES ME TO MAKE THE PLANS FOR A GROUP BC SHE'D RATHER GO WITH ME SOMEWHERE AS A GROUP!? LISTEN, IF YOU WANT A GROUP TRIP, BE ACTIVE ON IT. IT'S A FRIENDSHIP I'VE REKINDLED BUT THAT I'M NOT CLOSE WITH HER ANYMORE. FOR THIS REASON. THERE'S SOME LACK OF TRUST IN THIS FRIENDSHIP. USED TO BEST FRIENDS, BUT NOW, I REALIZE MAKING PLANS WITH HER IS SO HARD....THAT I SHOULDN'T REACH OUT ANYMORE FOR TRIPS...TRIPS WERE ALWAYS HARD WITH HER...AND WELL, I'M REMINDED WHY SHE'S NOT MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE. THIS IS A WOMAN WHO TOLD ME IN THE PAST THAT I'M A FAILURE. THIS IS WHY THE FRIENDHSIP ENDED. BC I TOLD HER I NEED A BREAK...AND SHE TOLD ME I'M A FAILURE AND EMBARASSMENT TO MY FATHER EVERY CHANCE I GET.
HER LACK OF UNDERSTANDING THAT I TRY TO DO THINGS AND PLANS FOR US AND THAT I GO OUTTA MY WAY AT TIMES....
RIGHT, THAT'S WHY SHE'S ONE OF THE GROUP...AND WHY I SHOULDN'T HANG OUT WITH HER ONE ON ONE...OR GO ON A TRIP WITH HER ALONE.
SO, NOW THAT 'VE THOUGHT IT OUT, ABOUT THINKING TO GO ON A TRIP WITH HER JUST US, YOU HAVE MY WORD THAT I'LL NEVER DO IT.
SHE'S STILL A FRIEND, BUT NOT A FRIEND ENOUGH THAT I'LL TRAVEL ONLY WITH HER. I'M NOT SURE IF SHE'S FAKE OR REAL WITH ME AND HOW MUCH I CAN TRUST HER.
AFTER ALL, SHE TOLD ME ON THE PHONE I'M A FAILURE. SO, EVEN IF HER WORDS WERE SAID IN ANGER, I NEVER EVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO HER. AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE. I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HER WORDS TILL MY DEATH BED.IF SHE'S READING THIS, LET HER KNOW HOW HURTFUL THOSE WORDS WERE! CAN YOU IMAGINE!
THE REASON I REMEMBER THIS TODAY IS THAT I HAD A MEMORY ON FB WHERE I WAS VENTING ABOUT THIS SITUATION.
FRIENDS BRING EACH OTHER UP...I ASKED HER ABOUT A POSSBILE SUMMER TRIP...AND SHE FIRST SAYS SHE'D LIKE TO GO WITH A GROUP....WHICH IS FINE. BUT, I'M NOT DOING ALL THE PLANNING OF THIS GROUP THING...
LISTEN, I JUST KNOW. I KNOW BASED ON THE PAST. SO, YEAH.
ANNOYED SLIGHTLY AT MYSELF FOR EVEN ASKING HER TO GO ON A TRIP.
I HAVE FRIENDS THAT TRAVEL, THAT WOULD JOIN 1 ON 1 AND THAT I CAN VISIT, I'LL STICK WITH THAT OR GROUP TRIPS INVOLVING THIS PERSON...BUT NEVER JUST THIS ONE WOMAN.
TOO MUCH HARD FEELINGS / MEMORIES AT STAKE..
LEARNING FROM MY MISTAKES, THIS IS WHERE I AM AT AT THIS MOMENT OF EMOTION TONIGHT.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Coco Brownie made my myself - too many air bubbles at the top layer, bc of how i whipped the whole mix too much but still tasty! :) 200, oatmeal with milk and pumpkin (with chai latte stevia and cinnamon - amazing) 50. 270. kombucha. 70
10am Smores protein bar - decent ! 200
1130 plain greek yogurt, chai latte sweetener, sf jello 150
1:30 6" healthier subway Sandwich 400 followed by caffeine drink Bc gym around 3:30 :-)
More caffeine and fruit 250, another banana during workout 100
1650... decided to workout at home ..
2250 today. good.
NEEDING TO VENT SOON ABOUT ISSUES MAKING PLANS. UNRELIABLE FRIEND. AND SAME FRIEND WISHES ME TO MAKE THE PLANS FOR A GROUP BC SHE'D RATHER GO WITH ME SOMEWHERE AS A GROUP!? LISTEN, IF YOU WANT A GROUP TRIP, BE ACTIVE ON IT. IT'S A FRIENDSHIP I'VE REKINDLED BUT THAT I'M NOT CLOSE WITH HER ANYMORE. FOR THIS REASON. THERE'S SOME LACK OF TRUST IN THIS FRIENDSHIP. USED TO BEST FRIENDS, BUT NOW, I REALIZE MAKING PLANS WITH HER IS SO HARD....THAT I SHOULDN'T REACH OUT ANYMORE FOR TRIPS...TRIPS WERE ALWAYS HARD WITH HER...AND WELL, I'M REMINDED WHY SHE'S NOT MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE. THIS IS A WOMAN WHO TOLD ME IN THE PAST THAT I'M A FAILURE. THIS IS WHY THE FRIENDHSIP ENDED. BC I TOLD HER I NEED A BREAK...AND SHE TOLD ME I'M A FAILURE AND EMBARASSMENT TO MY FATHER EVERY CHANCE I GET.
HER LACK OF UNDERSTANDING THAT I TRY TO DO THINGS AND PLANS FOR US AND THAT I GO OUTTA MY WAY AT TIMES....
RIGHT, THAT'S WHY SHE'S ONE OF THE GROUP...AND WHY I SHOULDN'T HANG OUT WITH HER ONE ON ONE...OR GO ON A TRIP WITH HER ALONE.
SO, NOW THAT 'VE THOUGHT IT OUT, ABOUT THINKING TO GO ON A TRIP WITH HER JUST US, YOU HAVE MY WORD THAT I'LL NEVER DO IT.
SHE'S STILL A FRIEND, BUT NOT A FRIEND ENOUGH THAT I'LL TRAVEL ONLY WITH HER. I'M NOT SURE IF SHE'S FAKE OR REAL WITH ME AND HOW MUCH I CAN TRUST HER.
AFTER ALL, SHE TOLD ME ON THE PHONE I'M A FAILURE. SO, EVEN IF HER WORDS WERE SAID IN ANGER, I NEVER EVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO HER. AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE. I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HER WORDS TILL MY DEATH BED.IF SHE'S READING THIS, LET HER KNOW HOW HURTFUL THOSE WORDS WERE! CAN YOU IMAGINE!
THE REASON I REMEMBER THIS TODAY IS THAT I HAD A MEMORY ON FB WHERE I WAS VENTING ABOUT THIS SITUATION.
FRIENDS BRING EACH OTHER UP...I ASKED HER ABOUT A POSSBILE SUMMER TRIP...AND SHE FIRST SAYS SHE'D LIKE TO GO WITH A GROUP....WHICH IS FINE. BUT, I'M NOT DOING ALL THE PLANNING OF THIS GROUP THING...
LISTEN, I JUST KNOW. I KNOW BASED ON THE PAST. SO, YEAH.
ANNOYED SLIGHTLY AT MYSELF FOR EVEN ASKING HER TO GO ON A TRIP.
I HAVE FRIENDS THAT TRAVEL, THAT WOULD JOIN 1 ON 1 AND THAT I CAN VISIT, I'LL STICK WITH THAT OR GROUP TRIPS INVOLVING THIS PERSON...BUT NEVER JUST THIS ONE WOMAN.
TOO MUCH HARD FEELINGS / MEMORIES AT STAKE..
LEARNING FROM MY MISTAKES, THIS IS WHERE I AM AT AT THIS MOMENT OF EMOTION TONIGHT.
______________________________________________
Plans for later include bank (for copay $$) & dr appt (deciding to take the bus to appt bc parking is brutal),
gym (driving there) - not interested in a very chilly 30 min bike ride there and i do NOT need more cardio right now as my ankle has been a nousiance bc i have had to stand quite a lot on my commute and sometimes in place up to an hour, followed by more standing..so i'm good right now on cardio.
Quick grocery shopping - making chicken soup today using skinless chicken on the bone (i was debating and this is my final decision to remove the skin before cooking),
Tomorrow is a Kidney Disease fundraiser walk and laundry.
Monday i may give a music lesson (prob not bc it's not confirmed with coworker) and gym. (off for Vet's Day!)
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
"Feels like 7F" here but that didn't stop me from running outside in my Crocs (no socks) to chase the squirrel out of my birdfeeder! I think that's enough cardio for today, don't you? ;)
Your walking fundraiser sounds fantastic! I can't wait to hear all about it. I hope it won't tax your ankle/legs too much... Are you worried about that?
yes, you are right in your guess. YES, i am nervous tomorrow bc i have such strong memories involving the leg pain. that i can never forget bc it was sooo painful.
and i struggle still with those memories and realizing it's always more important to listen to your body when it signals pain.
but, i'll be ok :)
thank you so very much for asking.
it will be a sunny day and perfect for this fundraiser and i'm very glad to go.
very windy here....crazy cold bc of the wind chill!
I will wear it tomorrow with my most comfortable walking shoes.
it is feeling slightly better. just aggrivated from loads of standing due to train and bus delays this week. and i had also done my own 3mi walks home...and really wanted rest the mornings after to sit, but ended up standing on public transport for over an hour a couple mornings...and one morning the commute in morning was two hours of mostly standing.
i look forward to the walk.
and yes, i mixed the brownies too much~
kombucha 60, coffee 50
Whipped cream 60, pumpkin 80, coconut keto brownie (made last night, recipe in earlier entry) 200
Snack: 260 healthier protein bar natural ingredients., so hungry - had a few almonds 50
Lunch: from home, napa cabbage cooked last night in microwave to add to my soup :) the leftover tofu, and CHIPS!... 300 in indulgent chips, tofu 200, veggies 100. 600...
snack: choc wafers 100, ALMONDS 50
1500...
2300
and overall very healthy day with a good mix of food !
Dinner: really have my eye on eating lots of veggies, maybe a takeout....but really sick of everything lately...lol, not many options for walk home for veggies, i'll have maybe greens with israeli cooked veggies...
EARLY TO BED, limited cardio since i've been standing extra long on my commutes lately on bus / train...and i have a big walk to do on Sunday, so trying to rest up my legs...
It's a fundraiser Kidney Walk (raising funds for Kidney Diseases - all types), being held and going over the Brookyln Bridge at the bottom area of Manhattan..
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Get some rest tonight!
Not that I want to live in a big city, but I do envy the number of food / restaurant choices and ethnic foods that you mention.
excellent food choices.
yes, i'm really lucky...i got all ethnicities by me, and, Queens, NY (my burough of NYC) is i think the most ethnic area in the UNITED STATES, possibly the world.
6am Kombucha 50, later coffee 50 100...
9:45pm Atkins Bar 170, later salt and vinegar almonds 180
11:45am Another snack before lunch - chocolate not even that good! some Russian brand 100
I cannot go out today bc i was an hour late...but will leave on time 5pm :-D...maybe a hair after 5 :) LEFT AT 5:20...go me :)
Lunch: healthy: tofu lots of it, seasoned from my broth, 200..wrap 100, egg 100, salami 100, avocado 150. 650. healthy. clementines 50, almonds 100
fruit in evening when i got home with seltzer sweetened with stevia...before getting down to baking...then i wanna eat something i bake
banana 120 and large orange 130: 250
Light snack before bed, after baking: granola bar 120, almond milk (big serving) with stevia 80, peanut butter spoonful 100. total here around 300.
1900, very good :)
6day: 2040, excellent.
Before workout (even tho tired i'm not planning to skip bc will not want to do it tomorrow night.)...
decided to skip workout tonight for rest....as i have a big walk scheduled for weekend and stuff going on, so i'm changing my schedule around and planning one less workout (skipping tonight) so my workout is stronger on both Saturday / Monday.
tonight, i'll be cooking more veggies and brownies :) and resting...no extra exercise & bed early again.
this will be a 2x per week workout with weights, not 3x - due to scheduling and planning and to make my other two workouts better (and planning to go to gym for the next two workouts bc i will be off from work on Satuday / Monday)
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and tonight i baked keto brownies, recipe below (i've done this recipe before and coworkers loved it!) i don't add fruit or any topping, they are so good by themselves and i cut into 12 pieces, 200 cal a piece (approx).
https://jet.com/product/Blue-Diamond-Almonds-Bold-Salt-N-Vinegar-1-Lb/a7ee46c5ad054b0ca9507d136299e7d3?jcmp=pla:ggl:jd_cons_cwin_grocery_a3_neast:grocery_snack_foods_nuts_seeds_trail_mix_a3:na:PLA_1434134322_53650157222_pla-307676782775_c:na:na:na:2PLA15&pid=kenshoo_int&c=1434134322&is_retargeting=true&clickid=edef975e-dfbf-4fb3-861e-77988eba45cf&kclid=edef975e-dfbf-4fb3-861e-77988eba45cf&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2o_fBRC8ARIsAIOyQ-koBaEG6bgs8Y_V1zIkDL1si5OmiHl-k1ZvYG6kSPSVnYqOXd5lrOEaAqN6EALw_wcB
just like the Lays brand salt and vinegar chips!
kombucha 60
brownie 150, pumpkin 50, whipped cream 60., coffee 50
Snack: salt and vinegar almonds 100
Lunch: leftover soup lots of noodles but small portion and some chicken 300, yellow pepper 50, other veg 50, tofu 100. later 2 clementines 50.
snack: more almonds 100, 2 more decaf coffees during the 3 mi walk home...and then i walked straight to my car to quickly run the one errand !!150 in coffee
Walk home- did the 3mi get car and pick up rX that i forgot to do on Monday night...
Healthy dinner: light wrap 100, egg and egg white 100, half avocado 160, piece of lox 40.400. dessert - big orange 150
1850...good!
5day:
Sleep early
Maybe bake pumpkin brownies. i have quite a bit of pumpkin left over that i have been eating and i've already sweetened it a little bit...i'd like to use it to make brownies...even though i've already messed with it...i think it'd be good to just use up in brownies when i get home, if time permits tonight!...since i'm also walking / running an errand.
today there was MAJOR traffic and i should have walked it in the morning but legs were tired from last night. i ended up having to stand on the bus and wait for the bus for an hour...same as it takes to walk the 3mi!!!!!!!
KOMBUCHA 60
brownie 150 avocado low carb, pumpkin with stevia and pumpkin spice 50, whipped cream 60 260, coffee 40
Snack: 200 cal healthy bar with chocolate
Lunch: tbd...coworker's chicken soup she brought for me!!!! how nice!!! homemade! 300? and a bunch of my crackers 300, clementine 50, almonds 50
Light snacking before exercise AND after i voted..bought it for the walk home but still relaxing on couch before i exercise now lol...: granola bar and small coffee...250
After exercise: cauliflower cheese pizza crust 400-450, also had a banana during workout. 100. 550 total.
2100 total, very good!
4 day 2120.
Voting after work, followed by a good weights workout. :) i got to work soo early because schools are out, so, i left a hair early too to go vote since i was in earlier.
Luckily, voting is very close to home. no wasted time commuting around tonight, really :)
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Yesterday was VERY successful with being able to vote and exercise and even go to bed on time! :)
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
i do usually eat the crusts without anything because they have a TON of flavor and are a mix of carbs / fats / proteins..like a meal.
and the cals are sort of high for a whole entire crust at once. .. and i enjoy eating the whole thing at once!
it could also be used as a wrap like with a slice or few slices of turkey in them!
they sell flavors like italian and hot flavors and other types, so, there's so much flavor that many types of the crust overpower any other ingredients.
they'd also be good with a side of fresh veggies.
and your idea of toppings would be nice on a plainer crust, yes.
it would be good if i could share half the crust with someone, and add those types of toppings.
they say the crust is only less than 300 cals total per crust, but i highly doubt it.
there was an error already on the labeling of the crusts, and, the calories on the package have already been increased one time.
i like the taste of the product, but the company hasn't been too transparent with their calorie / nutritional entire info in my opinion....but they taste GREAT.
also, their crackers, are terrible! i bought plain ones, hardly any taste and high calories!
i'd be jealous of the guy too....it's nice to get gifts of food, indeed!
Good for you for voting!!!
https://www.califlourfoods.com/
also, the Italian is very good flavor...try to get a deal on your order.
2am small banana 100
Kombucha 60
brownie 150 and whipped cream 150 and coffee 50
Snack:akins coconut almond bar 200, later salt and vinegar almonds 50
Lunch: my own tasty tofu soup with veggies and 1/2 white potato (larger size..)...healthy, healthy...potato 150, tofu 100, veggies 150 400.
snack bc too hungry / snacky: chocolate coconut bark thins stuff, so good 200? and plum 50
more snacking: chocolate balls lol 100 and decaf coffee 50
did a 2 mi walk and errands after work, home decently at 8pm which is pretty good considering everything i did today after work.!
Light dinner, bed early: 2% greek yogurt 150, pumpkin with stevia and cinnamon 50, brownie 150 350...small banana 100 450 :)
2000 :)
3day: 2120, good
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
7:30-8am? Avocado brownie bigger piece 250? Kombucha 50
Close to 10am: another brownie, 150 and almond milk with steiva / cinnamon 50. 200
500 before brunch - very good
drink 100, veggies 150, turkey 100, noodles 100, Creme brûlée 250, desserts 150 and more dessert 200: 1050
Lox 100
coffee and fiber one bar 250 on bus back home
clementines 50
clif bar & almond milk 300
2250 - excellent.
did a home workout
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gonna prep to make Asian veggies today and relax before heading out to NYC to celebrate a party for #36 a good friend. Then back home by around 4 I should be close to home and I'll exercise :)
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WHY does neighbor have to slam the door ?
once again I slept close to 11-12 hours - bed before 9pm and up at around 7am
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
funny thing is, in the morning when his wife is sleeping, he will close the door NORMALLY. so, he does know it's loud.!
dumb*ss! haha
After that have been in detached single family homes. Have lived in a suburban house for the past 13 years with larger lot sizes and a small undeveloped park across the street that sees little use. The neighbors are quiet and the house is well insulated, so we get little noise intrusion. Even with that, I find myself wanting to move out to the country on 20+ acres in the middle of nowhere (preferably 100+ acres well treed). The main thing that keeps me from pursuing a place in the country is the lack of highspeed internet needed for work. I'm guessing even if I moved out to the country, I'd get occasionally annoyed by the wildlife sounds.
9am-10am Breakfast: whole lb of strawberries 150 yes really, oatmeal 150 made with unsweetened almond milk 30 with some stevia and cinnamon, on of my avocado brownies in there (i still have so many left!) 150. 500 approx. and some kombucha i guess. 50...
Noon brunch low carb crackers 250 with eggplant spread 150, bite of turkey burger 50, and almonds 100.. 550
1:30 snack: rest of that turkey burger 100 and Leftover collagen coffee with extra added almond milk 200
So ended up getting oil change with free car wash too since the oil change was overdue and I had the time today.
5:30 dinner: egg and 2 more egg whites around 100, lots of eggplant spread 250-300 and cabbage cooked some butter 100. 500
1900....resting again after dinner and really not so sure about either exercise or laundry ! Maybe both tomorrow haha
After dinner snacking plum and later whipped cream and bite of MYbe avocado brownies 200
2100 total - very good.
Also I walked around 20-30min today
Laundry is done and skipped washing my bedding to make it go by easier.
Workout will be tomorrow after I get back !
I didn't feel rested enough to do a workout today and I might do my workout tomorrow at the gym depending what time I get back from the city !
Exercise may not happen but I will at least do laundry later :) having a restful day.
gonna go out and do some food shopping so i can make some nice slow cooker veggies again....will do an asian flavored recipe this time, using bok choy and maybe chinese cabbage... :) something different. mushrooms too. i'll go to a supermarket that has many asian veggies to choose from!
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Slept around 12 hours just waking up to use the bathroom. maybe even 13 hours. I'm fine with it - having a slow day! I went to bed exceedingly early bc after walking the 3 mi home i was seriously very tired (along with less sleep during the week!) so went to bed even before 8pm i think....i seriously think the extra sleep thing i've been doing on weekends is ok because i haven't gotten sick and it's helping me feel good.
LOL, i wasn't going to do any workouts today, but, i may change my mind, relax a lot today...and do the workout tonight (so i don't leave it hanging for tomorrow after a busy day in the city for a friend's bday (she luckily cancelled it being out east 2 hours....! thankfully! and she's THANKFULLY having it in the city instead!)
it's always better to do a workout in the evening and be able to sleep and recover afterwards :) so, considering that, an evening workout (with caffeine perhaps) will happen tonight.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
I see nothing wrong with eating a pound of strawberries. Helps your immune system!
kombucha 80, coffee 50 130.
Brownie 150 and whipped cream 120, 100 cal candy, and a pumpkin fat bomb they were good 50
snack: atkins coconut choc bar 150
Lunch: gonna be my tasty slow cooked cabbage and carrots (some butter) 150, with israeli eggplant dish spread on it 200?, and a pulled pork 200 so good from coworker she made it and popcorn small amount 100. 650, plum 50
coffee on way home 50
dinner: avocado brownie 150, full fat greek yogurt 200, blueberries 150, and bite of crappy ice cream it had freezer burn 50. 550
2050-2100, good!
3 mi walk home, i struggled with it....had a slightly heavy backpack.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
it's fun for now, dessert for breakfast, but lacks the protein / health as much as a whole 1/4 avocado with a whole egg...on a lighter wrap.
so it's fun, but i'm hungry earlier than if i ate a more nutritious breakfast.
i am still bored of the egg for breakfast tho...so i'll continue with the desserts approach for at least a couple weeks more.
i like the drinks for exercise, but, the taste and effects wear off...and acne replaces those things and lasts for days after lol...
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I can sleep after drinking caffeine too...never did keep me awake.
sleep will soon come for me tonight, and it's only 7pm.
graindart on 11/11/2018:
Guess I drink so much caffeine, that it doesn't alter my sleep patterns anymore.
Good to see your will-power and self-control. If I had 24 freshly baked brownies in the house right now, I'd fall off the wagon and be stuffed by bedtime. Only a handful of them would probably survive until the next morning, when they'd be eaten for breakfast......
the more and more i get used to maintenance, the easier it becomes to work on portions. i try to never let myself get too hungry and snack often so that i do not get into one of those modes where i want to eat everything i see.
these pumpkin brownies have sf choc chips in them...they are simply AMAZING.
i will make them again soon.
Donkey on 11/11/2018:
Vent away, friend. I do remember this "friend" from some time ago, when you had decided, "that's IT, no more". I'm surprised to hear that you let her back into your life, but I get it. There's a lot of history there. Unfortunately, it sounds like things haven't changed with her? Or maybe the wounds haven't healed? Those were some pretty harsh words.
But I'm proud of you for at least trying again. You have a kind heart.
nothing has changed for her - if anything, she's more lost than ever, meaning i feel he hasn't grown or changed at all.
her words i'll never forget as they were beyond hurtful. and if my mind thinks it'll be ok to do any trip with her just, i'm reminded first to think of those words she yelled over the phone at me.
reason i had reached out last Spring to her is because i thought it'd be nice to go to beach with her a few times this summer and stuff...which it was.
but i have had plenty of reminders already this year, that i cannot rely on her for very much.
there are things she has helped me with, it's her crockpot i use bc she lent it to me (i've offered tho to give it back and by my own - seems she didn't like the crockpot which is why she lent it)...and other things she's helped and shown me...
but just the backstabbing and hurtful words..and her expectations that if i ask her to go on a trip (like i did), that she expects me now to plan it into a group thing (which requires a lot more responsibiliity at COMMUNICATION on my part with many people)...she just can't have such expectations anymore bc i will NOT fulfill them.
now, if i ask her to do something, and she says "maybe so and so wants to come to"...i'll tell HER TO ASK THEM.
I'm no intermediary. she can COMMUNICATE for hereslf.
i tried making mutliple diff plans on Saturday, trying to see availability in group form...she did not thank me for it...and i did it for her.
therefore, less expectations on my part of what i gotta do for her....because she is not thankful! :) she cannot just expect me to know her schedule (she got mad at me bc i asked her why she didn't respond all day saying to me, jackie, you know i have class.." - i didn't realize bc it was a long weekend - i didn't know she had class....
what i'm saying is, COMMUNICATE girl!
if she's so difficult to communicate with, i just will walk away slowly again. do less with her.
i don't have time for someone who thinks i should jsut memorize their schedule!
i don't know anyone's schedule but my own! like really!
jdonk...it's like everything she does, she pushes me farther and farther away from accepting any kind of responsibility other than being an acquaintance with her.
everytime she tells me "maybe this person wants to come, or lets do it with the group"...she should be saying, i'll ask so and so...or let me help you out to make the plan with a group.
she's just assuming i take all responsibility. um, NO.
happy-1 on 11/12/2018:
Hugs. Stuff our female friends say sticks with us waaaay longer than anything a guy we are dating does. It hits us in our most vulnerable spots because we let them into our safest spaces.