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Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Feb 26, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

kombucha 60

breakfast: craving some meat, got a starbucks sandwich 250 and my light banana cookie 150, coffee 50.

dried jackfruit, white choc 100, almonds 100

lunch: mix of salad with some dressing 150, tofu 100, squash casserole 250...popcorn 150..650

really craving an energy drink and WILL GIVE IN...just today, won't be a crazy habit again lol...yup had like half of one and paid wayyyy too much in NYC for it.

snacks: plum, chocolate 100, emergen-c Drink 50.

mcdonalds 500 nuggets/fries

half plain bagel, couple gummies 200

2200, good.

________________________

Tonight is therapy appointment. I am switching places soon and will cancel all remaining therapy at this place. I am SO DONE with the drive after work to go there !!! Plus, i don't even know if i'm supposed to go at 7pm or 7:45pm...this therapist SUCKS! :)  (i will have to call them..like now!) glad to not go to her anymore after tonight.  I have an intake at the other place on Friday after work (glad to be taking a vacation day TOMORROW from work!)

ON THURSDAY, TOMORROW DAY OFF, there are certain things that I will do:

- use laser right after breakfast

- Walking in Morning after laser

- studying the intro PM class material - shouldn't need to study too much this time..like up to 3 hours OR LESS the whole day to go over some things..

- cook turkey meatballs (or on weekend)

- (possibly clean bathroom - just a maybe...maybe even like a half clean, mostly the shower) - Before my shower!

- 6:30pm-probably 7:30pm Library Open Mic Event i want to attend for sure (free)

- Weights in the evening after Library - DEFINITE at home :)

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

legcramps on 02/26/2020:
That's great news about the therapy! I'm assuming the other therapist is much closer to where you live? It will make such a difference not having to travel so far anymore. Happy Wednesday!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/26/2020:
yes, it's much closer and right now it's directly again on the way home from the city. i am not sure i'll always be working in the city, but, it will work well for now :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/26/2020:
I will miss the driving aspect of it, but, i can't have everything hahaha. meaning, it was good practice to drive there, as i don't drive much during the week. but the amount of time spent traveling def wasn't worth it.



Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Feb 25, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

kombucha 60

apple muffins/yogurt 400, coffee 50

snack: almonds? 100

lunch: with the casserole 250 and half another piece 125...tomato and greens with dressing 200 tops, popcorn? 575..600; getting a coffee at work too. popcorn 50, white choc easter eggs minis 50 (OMG SO GOOD! a new candy i never tried!)

snack: fruit? have a bunch here at work..100 2 plums

7:45PM DINNER 2 lg peaches before they spoil 200...latte 200...chips lol 200

2000 good

....

Another meeting (union administrative  / office division that happens every other month only)  tonight @ 6pm no longer than 7pm...then weights tonight at home obiously not just leaving to get to gym at 7:30 that'd be NUTZ.

i should use the laser soon (skipped it for 2 weeks but i'm at the end of the process anyways) 

meeting was  educational :)

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!


Horn_of_plenty - Monday Feb 24, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

no kombucha, got up so late i admit didn't shower, just cleaned off a bit outside of it with wipes...yeah. very rushed.

i have a sore throat, but not bad. i hope to feel better by weekend, if i can get enough rest / sleep. I am NOT very sick just have something VERY minor right now.

Breakfast: apple cake larger piece 250, coffee 50, yogurt 150. 450.

snack: tbd almonds? 100

lunch: the squash casserole, all week ! :) 300, salad 50, goldfish 200. 550-600

snack: fruit? and dried fruit 200, almonds 50

1400

At meeting: cool pizza dough with roasted veggies and no cheese which is funny bc I had cheese at lunch so this worked well 300, diet soda, wine back at home 150

1900 tops :-)

evening 30 min bike ride on stationary:)

dinner: not sure, found out i have a meeting to Optionally attend, but thinking i will, as i 'm taking off this coming THURSDAY so i may as well attend the meeting and see what it's about...its the religious club in the union that i sometimes go to... maybe i'll even get food out of it, but not promising, bc i will show up for the meeting and not dinner.

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/25/2020:
I hope your sore throat has not developed into something more this morning.

Are you glad you went to the meeting? You've mentioned this group before, and I see it as a good thing that you went. Nice that they had food!

I rode my bike at home last night too. Just couldn't bring myself to go to the gym.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/25/2020:
the meeeting was actually a decent experience overall. i came late on purpose since i didn't want to leave work early. and i'm glad i ate dinner there...so i could come home and get on bike and move forward with the night.


innerpeace on 02/25/2020:
It's from the gym! I would always get a sore scratchy throat after going to the gym when being away for awhile. Seriously though, I hope you can nip it in the bud and it doesn't turn into something more. Have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/25/2020:
i bet it is from gym.

it's not getting worse and luckily not that bad. i just need to keep resting and getting sleep or i'll get overrun!



Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Feb 23, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

 Kombucha 80-100

bowl Onyxorgum 250 almond milk 50 taste of a recipe I am making 50, iced coffee 50  and a chocolate 50

a bowl of my squash casserole (photo above) very tasty 250 chips 200

1000...

chips 100, veggies 100, spiked seltzer 150, candies and berries 100

1450

550, 100

2100

 30 min on bike was my exercise..decent.  i was standing up a bit all morning for cooking :) 

 

 

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!


Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Feb 22, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

have class and got up really late .... was 5 min late today but didn't miss anything though not good .....

 Kombucha 50

choco 200, coffee 50

wrap and egg and avocado 350...

3pm full meal after class strawberries 50, microwave pizza 350, extra cheese 50, iced coffee 50...500, pack of dried jackfruit 100. 600.

lots of cabbage 200, chips 3 big servings 500! ...700 maybe a taste of ice cream 150

2100. Good

not sure if I still want the gym because it's getting very late and tomorrow I am mostly out of the apartment -  I think I'll just stay home because I can exercise and do laundry and cook ....if I go to gym the day will end quicker and I'll do less...

------------////////-------------

snack and gym today after class....not home or couch...just home to change for gym :)

will try to pay for a day pass...

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/22/2020:
Sounds like a good idea to wait on the gym pass. Staying home will help balance out the weekend...

horn_of_plenty on 02/22/2020:
I’m glad I went and thought I looked even stronger in my arms than when I left the gym a couple years or so ago lol.

Gym would be good for me to do cardio. I think gym was a nice change of pace but don’t expect to make it very permanent at least right now .... it wouldn’t work out well during the week to go too often. I’m just glad my hard work at home is keeping me toned :) I will continue to work on getting more cardio in

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/24/2020:
def not gonna buy a gym membership right now.



Horn_of_plenty - Friday Feb 21, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

edit: decided on the "on my couch" option to studying and I'm ok with that! It's now 3:30 though and I'm deciding to take a drive to the supermarket so I can pick up groceries for the week including kombucha and yogurt... if I wait longer I'll be out when it's dark ....and actually after I pick up groceries I'm going for a walk :)

Good Morning :) Very thankful for being able to take a vacation day today. 

I slept easily 10 hours from around 11pm to 9am.

I didn't yet make plans for today as i was pretty busy at work yesterday and didn't get around to making plans for today. but that's ok :) i wanted today to be sort of relaxed.  I will get in a few things, for sure, even probably laundry...trying to free up my weekend as Saturday i have the class from 9-2pm and Sunday i was able to make plans with my friends for most of the day.

I'll write my potential plans here :)

- signing up for a local 6 hour defensive driving class (rather not take it online at home / work computer not the best idea either)  DONE 

 - most importantly - read all the material for the class i'm taking - or at least skim thru it....to be done at library. OR ON MY COUCH ..and i might as well go next door to library to union hall to change my medical appointments bc i have a conflict, again, lol...they are on a saturday that i thought i'd have free but things changed since that initial plan! :)

- vaccuum (before leaving apt) DONE 

- walk outside - but not too long as it's very cold today  (1.5-2mi) (doesn't have to be done in 1 shot...) 45 min DOBE 

- plan a recipe for spaghetti squash (i enjoy the research online myself) decided on spaghetti squash casserole with ricotta mozzarella and spinach -- will go to fairway today for ingredients 

- use stationary bike (30min) MAYBE NOT 

- use 5 min on stepper (5min) MAYBE NOT 

- do laundry this evening or later afternoon (possibly or Sunday) NOT TODAY 

______________________________________________________

9:30 Breakfast  cereal 250, almond milk 50, iced coffee 50, and an apple muffin 120. total 470-500. 
 

12:30 lunch wrap 110 with avocado 150 and turkey bacon 150 400, chips 250, whole bag of jackfruit no sugar added 100

Snacks 200 candies, iced coffee, strawberries 

dinnet salad with dressing 150, Mac and cheese 350, chips 50 600 kombucha 

2100 today 

did a 45 minute walk outside. No other exercise and that's ok :) now back to studying 

 

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/22/2020:
I love to read your plans, in addition to food lists :)

horn_of_plenty on 02/22/2020:
Awww thanks ....I feel like I am not doing a lot



Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Feb 20, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

kombucha 50

yogurt 150 and 2 mini apple muffins 250 coffee 50.

500

lighter lunch: tofu 150, brussel sprouts 100 - 250..., chocolate 100, orange 50

1 candy 50

dinner salad 150, microwavable eggplant parm 550, wine 150-200 900 tops

1850 :)

 

 

 

___________________________________________________

Over the phone i was saying i was tired when i got home at 9pm,  Mom told me last night that "9pm" is not too late to exercise and all of a sudden i see myself doing leg exercises last night at 9pm...i am tired today though (but maybe it's normal tired?) anyways, went to bed later, around 11pm. all is good, tomorrow is a vacation day for me - and i want to plan the day out tonight..it will include some reading of the course material i'm taking. 

this am i got in pushups, but was late to work due to train delays :( should have been easy since schools are out this week :(

tonight i'll do my upper body exercises.....may go to a gym after class on Saturday :) still deciding.

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!


Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Feb 19, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

Drank kombucha and did situps in AM quickly...drove to the train and got a spot so i can go to appt, drive, directly after i get off train....i know this doesn't make sense, but it's good..

kombucha 50

breakfast: 2 small apple muffins 250, coffee 50, yogurt 150. 450

snack the other muffin mentioned above, almonds 100

lunch: tofu up to 150 cal and leftover Indian food: small bit potato 50, lots of spinach creamed 300?, possibly some crackers 150..650.

snacks: plum / persimmon 50

1300

starbucks 350

light meal 400

2050

  (remember to leave early at 4:40...)

early dinner: starbucks egg bites? starting to get sick of them though...maybe the egg white bites or a sandwich, not really sure.

7pm is my appointment tonight, ends at 7:45pm. Will not visit parents before or after.

Will study before appointment, sit in waiting room and read thru the Project Manager textbook pages..I hope to get to the therapy waiting room / office around  6:00-6:30pm.  so i have about 30 min to study? 

(leaving work around 4:40pm) get to car by around 5:20pm..drive there by around 6:30pm?..we shall see :)

 

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

legcramps on 02/19/2020:
Is the Project Manager course interesting so far?

Would it be rude if you asked your therapist if they can refer you to someone who is closer to where you live?

Maybe this weekend you can carve out a little time for yourself to take yourself out. Are there any walking trails near you, or free museums to check out? Maybe a free bootcamp class in the park or something?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/19/2020:
lol with my cardio issues, i'd die in a bootcamp class. it really would be horrible, but in the past it's something i'd have considered. my cardio is really bad right now. and i find myself having more difficulties than usual.

BUT, i have decided to take Friday off. and i will do something nice then :) i will also take care of all chores so i don't have to think about them Sunday...making plans with friends for Sunday :)

the course is interesting, not bad. i feel bad to not at all study, so i am (there are no tests). the teacher is my boss at work - same person!

also, i will tell her i really don't like going...but i'm doing it for my parents. there's a place closer to home that i do know...i will have to facilitate switching places...i have started, but it required paperwork from current place that i can only pick up - so i'm hopefully picking that up today as last week it wasn't ready yet...like anything, it's a process and since it's not lifethreatening, it's also not instantaneous. i just can't be bothered, i am only doing this because everyone else wants me to.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/19/2020:
your free museaum thing is a very good idea and good idea to walk in one....as exercise since i don't walk enough in general so anything helps...

i can get a free pass to several museums, i'll start looking into it as soon as Friday to see what i can do for other days off. i have 5 more days off to use before end of March :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/19/2020:
THANK YOU.


bearcountrygg on 02/19/2020:
I don't blame you for not wanting to drive into Manhattan, we went straight into the Port Authority I believe...parked and only drove back out to the campground in New Jersey....while in Manhattan we took the bus only and did a lot of walking...

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/19/2020:
never drive into manhattan bc very expensive parking...must take bus unless i got a parking deal by the company i work for - only for executives / upper managment.

usually it's a bus to the train (overall an hour half hour each part...)

the busses in manhattan are good and usually have more seating than the subways. both are good routes for different reasons. some people hate the busses, but they are actually not bad - people are afraid to take them like they are for lower class, but that is not so at all. and depends what bus route - same as for the subways.

i don't live near subway, so usually i take the bus to it...

but to save myself a hassle of wasted time in taking a bus home and walking to my car, i park on Wednesdays which is the best day for parking, at the train and skip the bus right now...because of the therapist. it saves me a lot of time both going to work and saves me a half hour of coming back from work on bus to my car ....yes, confusing lol...

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/19/2020:
there are no spots in midtown near rockefeller where i work. i'd be paying a parking garage too much..i have driven in manhattan a few times, but not much.



Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Feb 18, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

breakfast: too rushed for kombucha before work, yogurt 150, muffin 250, coffee 50..450-500

snack almonds cocoa dusted 100

didn't even pack lunch, just rushed out in the AM... truffle mac and cheese microwavable meal, very satisfying, two med tomatoes. 550-600, plum 50

4:20pm chocolate 100, so good.

1350

dinner: will def be chicken breast good larger 300? serving chips 250, squash soufflé microwaveable 200 750 good 

2100 good 

what i wanted to bring for lunch) on a wrap, maybe with a salad or a pepper or something...and also maybe with avocado

After work tonight: leg exercises only, look over notes...

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

legcramps on 02/18/2020:
Hey HoP, hope you are doing well this week. I know you have been having some rough days lately, and can completely understand your stress about the therapy sessions and your father's insistence that you keep going, and the fact that Ricky isn't being a great friend to you right now. I hate that life sometimes comes in waves...it can be going really great and then - snap your fingers - just like that, things can change.

I hope you are able to find a therapist who will suit your needs better. Does your Dad understand that you are not happy with your current therapist? I can also understand - without knowing the details - not wanting to talk anymore and possibly wanting to just move on. I am sure that your Dad simply wants to know you are safe and Okay. The good thing about a therapist is their ability to be objective; maybe bringing up the fact that you don't want to be there (if they don't already know) will initiate a conversation that might be more beneficial for you in the long run than just trying to get through another session? I don't know, just throwing my opinion out there :)

Have a great day at work today!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/18/2020:
both my friend coworker and parents want me to go...

this therapist right now for these two sessions (2 weeks) doesn't pick up easy on any cues like i'll be talking loads and she'll ask me a question about myself that is slightly related to what i'm saying but not advice or anything or anything to add to what i'm talking about...just a general question:

example: i was talking how i can be all or nothing with food and my approach and what i eat. that i can binge sometimes and found ways to be satisfied by having a "volume approach" to it...

...therapist followed up with "DId you ever do drugs?"

i talk for long periods, but therapist just listens rather than add anything...

other therapist even in the first session was able to guide me, when i needed it, when i wasn't able to drive, she helped me.

i'm not necessarily looking for any more guidance anyways...

but this therapist doens't have as much strength in listening and following thru quickly and with insight on what she hears. old therapist (who was only working 2 years and had a PHD - i don't think this therapist has a PHD) old therapist was MUCH quicker to assess the client (Me) and could tell - she had MUCH MORE instinct as well as commentary. this one leaves me hanging / talking - less insights from this new therapist. 1st therapist was only around 30 years old and driven, this therapist is like 40yrs old and more complacent, though smart, not as forward & direct as old therapist that i had originally for 2 months / like 8 sessions.


bearcountrygg on 02/18/2020:
This new therapist is just now getting to know you...I'm sure she is either taking notes or recording your visits .....that gives her time to decide how best to help you......I'm sure the extra driving before was inconvenient....and of course all therapists have different ways of helping their patients...but I would encourage you to continue because often not wanting to go means it's still needed......I'm sure that's not comfortable to hear but know that your family and all of us here care about you and want to see you get any help you need....I suspect that the new therapist wants to compile some ways to help you but she needs to get info about your thoughts first.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/18/2020:
i may have to switch to a closer place to me...it's too much traveling in one night for me....i guess i could continue for awhile, i just don't like the commitment and that i have to go. i really wanted to move forward and be done with it - i don't like the commitment, i don't want to talk anymore, i just feel over it...for my dad's sake i guess i can continue but near me...


bearcountrygg on 02/18/2020:
Oh I get it! I'm sure it's taking up a lot of your time too. They just want to make sure that you are okay.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/19/2020:
yeah..it's just hard to do something that i don't want to do :(

especially that all this sitting and all has really started to make me feel run down and out of shape to the point where i have trouble walking 2 miles :(

ahh, i'll work on all of it...i just need to get my act together.



Horn_of_plenty - Monday Feb 17, 2020
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 113.0

 slept like 12 hours 9-9.

breakfast apple cake 250, whipped cream 200, iced coffee 50. 500

will see parents for lunch and walking. In a mood to relax, will read a book this morning before seeing parents..:I'm taking a class and the book is an online version and I'm debating buying a copy but realize maybe I can skim thru the book for a little everyday on the computer at work / print the book out at work...

1150 after healthy lunch with parents - chicken, bread, butter, salad with light dressing

2 oranges 150, a thin mint and another Girl Scout cookie 100 total 

Dinner small avocado 300, wrap 100, turkey bacon 150, red pepper 50.  plum 50 600

2050

walked with parents around 1-1.5 hours wasn't easy like it used to be - i need to start moving around more, but in increments so i dont injure myself.  my cardio is really poor right now, finding it truly hard to improve with my schedule, work.

parents told me they don't want me to stop therapy and dad begged me to continue ...I am upset I must continue as my dad told me he would be extremely upset like that it would hurt him for me to stop. So against my will I am continuing therapy =  SUCKS and I don't want to at all which is the worst part.

also with now taking a class where I only have the book online until I print it tomorrow =  I am not looking at the material tonight. Maybe I'll look over my notes though from this past Saturday. i guess ill stop reading my fun library books until class is over...theres no time to do both - at least during the week..

i have a lot of vacation days and I don't see myself going on any vacation so I'll take them little by little to balance out this darn class and stress of going to this therapist - now I have to find a place closer to my apt since I cannot continue a ridiculous commute during the week to go to one...

I thought I would have not a therapist and class to take at the same time=  once again annoyed 

---------
I should go to supermarket later for iced coffee, yogurts, kombucha, eggs, peppers, 

I will cook cabbage even if it's  overnight for this week...will do yes :) a butter and seasonings recipe in slow cooker with an onion or maybe I'll leave the onion out . Or just half an onion :) less is more is my opinion with onions 

plan - see parents for lunch and walk

go directly to supermarket (fairway by me) after to pick up some things for the week 

home to clean gp cage / lift weights (skipped a day this week - will do today not tomorrow..) 

read book digital copy for class - will read some on my laptop...

cook cabbage overnight

Progress as of today: -3 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/17/2020:
Looks like good plans.....I guess therapy is meant to deal with some hard things.....hopefully it will be easier when the difficult part is dealt with. Your parents love you and want you to feel better too.....I respect your choice to continue...with their encouragement. They do want the best for you!!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/18/2020:
they want the best, but at this time i am not reaping any therapy productivity...see below on my comments to donkey. i'm really not happy to continue.


Donkey on 02/18/2020:
Ok, so since therapy isn't optional (I completely understand), I would recommend that you find a better therapist to work with. If I were in your situation, and I admit, I don't have all the information, I could totally see myself going through the motions of therapy without actually working it.

I'm wondering if you find this new therapist to be aversive because she's hitting close to home. Just thinking aloud, but sometimes we don't like when we're confronted with facing things we'd rather not deal with. Not saying this is your situation, but just an observation from my own struggles.

On the other hand, if you truly feel you've healed and reconciled whatever you're working on, then maybe just go through the therapy to get it done. I don't know. You have your thoughts on it. You have your dad's perspective. Is there another third party you could ask for their insight? Do you need the therapy?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/18/2020:
both my friend coworker and parents want me to go...

this therapist right now for these two sessions (2 weeks) doesn't pick up easy on any cues like i'll be talking loads and she'll ask me a question about myself that is slightly related to what i'm saying but not advice or anything or anything to add to what i'm talking about...just a general question:

example: i was talking how i can be all or nothing with food and my approach and what i eat. that i can binge sometimes and found ways to be satisfied by having a "volume approach" to it...

...therapist followed up with "DId you ever do drugs?"

i talk for long periods, but therapist just listens rather than add anything...

other therapist even in the first session was able to guide me, when i needed it, when i wasn't able to drive, she helped me.

i'm not necessarily looking for any more guidance anyways...

but this therapist doens't have as much strength in listening and following thru quickly and with insight on what she hears. old therapist (who was only working 2 years and had a PHD - i don't think this therapist has a PHD) old therapist was MUCH quicker to assess the client (Me) and could tell - she had MUCH MORE instinct as well as commentary. this one leaves me hanging / talking - less insights from this new therapist. 1st therapist was only around 30 years old and driven, this therapist is like 40yrs old and more complacent, though smart, not as forward & direct as old therapist that i had originally for 2 months / like 8 sessions.



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