so this guy: he hasn't had a gf since high school and he's my age, 26. he's in one state, and i'm miles away in another. we've known each other since college. only hung out a few times though but have kept in touch on and off for 5 years. lately, we've been staying in touch pretty well. texting a lot. finally spoke to him on the phone two night ago. i've told him in the past how i've felt about him. he never can respond. he literally says NOTHING. not that he thinks of me only of a friend, not that he likes me, not that he hates me! lol. nothing. but, there's one thing i know, it seems he doesn't mind my texts or phone calls. so, i have no clue what his deal is. at all. it's frustrating but i guess i can just take it as he sees me and enjoys having me as a friend. the problem is i wish there were more. obviously that is not at all possible since we don't even live in the same state. however, we he comes here, i always hope we could hang out one on one. not with his friends. and if that's not possible, i'm going to have to stop having any feels for him like that...because it means i should move on. i don't know if he wants to hang out one on one. i mentioned it on the phone two nights ago saying when are we hanging out/gonig to the bar. haha. he never really did give a straight answer. not sure what his deal is. at all.
and it's frustrating as anything! this has been going on for months, actually!
today while in the hospital an entire cup of soda fell on my lap. i was wearing WHITE scrubs. so my pants became TRANSPARENT! see through! thank god there was a uniform store right next door! so another $15 dollars out the door. at least the new scrubs I bought today are bought are nice. lol
breakfast, later snacks: 300
lunch: around 350 i think.
snack: 300...but then followed directly by early dinner and mini eating attack sorta:
early dinner: tofu, broccoli, olive oil, and a little gazpacho which wasn't good: 325...followed by: salad w. light dressing 50, beans and more means w. almonds: 260, and some PEANUT BUTTER, finishing off the jar 500. haha. total here: 1140. eh, it's over.
total today: 2090. makes me wanna go to the gym. but i'm NOT. will be in bed early, gym tomorrow though. :)
Progress as of today: -14 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
breakfast: milk, yogurt (love the dairy that i'm def giving up next month) 200
snack: coffee 40
snack: yogurt 100
lunch: beans w. almonds, coffee 200
snack: large protein shake 260
total so far: 800
dinner: probably egg white omelette/green beans and almonds as a casserole or something...will be good and different! around 520
total: 1320 happy. although i'm very sad. because i'm obsessing over a guy and it's not healthy.
Progress as of today: -14 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
Good day - keep it up HOP!!
anyways, you did a great job yesterday. what's in your protein shake? or did you mention it in a prior entry? i'll have to look backwards.
breakfast/snacks: 170 cellniques
lunch: 300 tofu w. oil and spinach, coffee 330
snack: 300 protein shake w. fiber
dinner: shrimp stir fry and salad...change of plans: eggplant rollettes, salad, and yogurt instead. 500
total: 1270 -1300way to go.
no gym, feeling very under the weather after i got home. it's that time of the month, plus i thought i had some fever/chills. i don't get sick often. so i don't want to risk getting sicker by exhasting myself further than i am by going to the gym. my goal is to do an hour treadmill tomorrow (but i also have a checkup dermatologist appointment that i must go to at 7pm...) eh. not good timing. i may cancel the dermatologist appt till friday...yeah. and just go to the gym...as i need to study too of course tomorrow. we'll see...
Progress as of today: -14 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
Have a great night!~
Have a good evening... Your day looks good!
breakfast: 320
snacks: 120
lunch: 200
binge, but stuck to protein/fats: spinach w. dressing 30, little leftover chinese veggies 30, microwave meal 350, 2 plain greek yogurts 240, 6 tablespoons pb 600. total: 1250...
total here: 1890...1910 morepb and yogurt 2170...
4 meatballs
the end.
tomorrow wil be good.
around 2500 today.
Progress as of today: -14 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
went to sleep 2 hours ago only to toss and turn since....can't sleep!!!!!!!!!
going to weigh myself every darn day...
breakfast: egg white 170 omelette w. spinach 10, tomato 10, scallion 10, topped w. some gazpacho 30, alongside a yogurt 80. total: 310 was great!
snack: LARGE protein shake using a mix of 2 protein packets and unsweetened almond milk and ice from the health food store: around 290.
extra snacks: med iced coffee 70, drink packets in glasses of water 70
lunch: beans/almonds.240
dinner: eggplant rollettes from the celentano frozen foods. w. veggie. 400, sooo hungry: salad also 50, cup milk90, plain yogurt w. cinnamon for dessert.90 total: 630
total cal: 1610!
wow. nice job to me. very happy with this number...although i must say i am even more happy with low carb eating. for some reason i was really shakey before dinner, which is weird, bc usually when eating low carb you lose a lot of that shakey/low sugar feelings. i'm good now. so glad i'm still having dairy. will possibly continue with dairy if the weightloss is really good...if not i'll have to remove it. but, dairy satisfies me and i like having it so i'll try hard not to have to remove it until i must since i need to look leaner for the wedding coming up!
exercise: one hour again elliptical at gym. no abs, no pushups. stretching.
have a good day.
going to clean the bathroom....i've put it off for too long!
Progress as of today: -14 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
As for weighing every day...I think it's a good idea!
Big smile to you! :-)
Re: How old is your g'ma ~ She turned 90 in October.... She is a couple weeks ( suppose to be ) from going back home to live independently... She is recouping from shunt surgery & a couple complications, but GOING HOME... minues her lil' companion dog who had to be put down (cancer), so I hope she does o.k. and not get too lonely... We will visit her as much as possible..... We make the rounds every weekend we can usually, as it is easier for us to be on the move than for my parent's, g'ma & aunt to come out to us.... Can't get back time in making memories and reflecting upon ones already made....
Nighty Night!
i've been craving pb since yesterday. so i had it for breakfast along with some green packet in my water. i've been having more oil in my diet and my skin isn't perfect, but it feels better. moister.
breakfast: 550. i'm going to spend some time looking over my past diary entries now. plans for today: library, gym, movie. i want to walk outside but it is cold and i know i'll accomplish MORE at the gym.
lunch and snacks: protein shakes: 550 total.
early dinner/late snack: lots of salted fresh edamame, little soup, little salad, yogurt: 500....beans...
so far: 1700...will have about 2,000 today.
total 1800. not the best, but it's under 2,000.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
I saw some "greenie" packets @ the health food store yesterday and thought about you.. LAmost bought one, but just couldn't do it... I have horrible gag refux issues.... PICKY! Maybe someday I will.....
Night Night..... Glad to see a good day again for you!
not sure on cals. probably around 2200. mostly low carb. i will stick with dairy till the end of the month. then, March is only lean meats/proteins and veggies. no more dairy. i will see how that goes. i have been feeling better with the low carb diet. i feel less bloated.
no exercies. going to bed really early. feeling tired of this week. didn't do awesome on all my tests this week. need to do better next week.
foods today:
breakfast: 2 eggs, 3 eggwhite omelette. little bran sprinkled on top. glass milk.
extra snack: decaf coffee
snack: plain greek yogurt (my new snack in the mornings at school)
lunch: green beans and almonds w. some olive oil added and a decaf coffee
early large snack mixed with dinner: huge protein/fiber shake, grilled veggies, grilled squash, pint of seaweed salad w. carrots, and a package of green beans/almonds. yeah, it's hard to imagine i could fit this into my stomach. almost binged on pb instead of the green beans/almonds. thank god i didn't.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Your plans are comong to fruition and I KNOW that has top make you feel better in itself.... Proud of you!
Keep up with your good work, HoP, and hang in there!
breakfast: omelette w. cheese, glass milk: 500
snack: yogurt: 100
lunch: subway salad: around 200
large, satisfying snack: HUGE tasty protein/fiber shake: around 400
total so far: 1200 good.
later: i plan on eggplant rollettes (microwavable by celentano foods i believe if you want to look it up) low carb, but high fat. tasty! and lettuce. around 450 at most.
total: 1650. good, fine!
exercise- one hour elliptical no matter what!
also: need to study but will go to bed no matter what at a good hour. no need to lose sleep over the tests tomorrow, that's for sure.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Have a pleasurable evening!
day 1...sorta low carb but there were some sugars for sure.
breakfast: piece salmon from leftovers, milk: 500
snack: yogurt w. sweetner 140
lunch: beans upon beans, olive oil, almonds, coffee: 340
early large dinner and dessert: 350 microwave meal, 4 red peppers 120, cucumber w. dressing 50, two yogurts w. pb and jelly in them 400. total here: 920 too much obviously.
total: 1900 not bad though. but no gym. i'm still exhausted.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Your 1900 looks real good...get some rest. Sometimes that is better for one than gym.
Have a great evening!
before 4pm: 640.
after: 320 beans/almonds, 110 cucumber and dressing, 110 3 peppers, 350pizza, 240yogurt., pb and j and milk 630 done. 1760 total.
total: 2400....cake. 800..100
total: 3300. ugh.
i'm tired and just down on everything.
i feel like i'm hopeless right now.
what should i do?
should i just go low carb? and stick to it? can i stick to anything?
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
I know that the 'bingy' feelings I was having, were very real and way out of my control. But the Thyroid and adrenals play a HUGE role in our health. Take care sweetie
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I don't understand your question to me...what do you mean????
thinnside40 on 02/26/2009:
I had a "friend" like that years ago... I loved him and put the cards on the table (sounds like biscotti)... Anyway, he reciprocated in an "I love you too, but as a friend"... THEN STOP kissing on me! STOP holding my hand and showing everybody else we are more than friends.... He came to my wedding and gave us $20...Wrote a nice note inside........ He was a good friend!... BUT, my mom walked by him and snidley said "YOU waited TOO long buddy!"... I felt so bad for him... To this day, he is still single & 41 years old.....
Your day looks good BTW..... Night Night!
loveray on 02/27/2009:
well well well. welcome to the life of rachel for the past, oh, 5 years?!?! haha. sounds like you just need to ask for what you want/need or just be honest that you are confused about what this "thing" is- and let him tell you, or not. scary thought, i know, but it could relieve you of possible years (i know, trust me) of believing in a fantasy that you have created in your head. this guy is petrified of something real, of a commitment, and of someone as dazzling as you. see thin's comment again;) that is going to be 4 of my past "relationships"...love you, have a great weekend!! xoxo
selina on 02/27/2009:
It's funny how we all seem to have had a relationship like that... mine was this guy who seemed to be more involved in his studies than in a real relationship with me. It turns out it wasn't only me - he did become a medical doctor but he is also still single... Good luck!
legcramps on 02/27/2009:
I have some advice too ;) being that if you obsess over this guy and things don't turn out the way you had it planned in your mind, you're going to REGRET the time you wasted on him.Maybe not now, and maybe not even in five years from now. But, someday, you might say to yourself "why didn't I just walk away when I had the chance?". If he isn't giving you a stronger committment than what his silence suggests, then I wouldn't waste time chasing after him. And if you can't be friends with this guy without wanting more from him, than distancing yourself might be a better option.
I almost deleted this whole comment, because I hardly ever give my personal opinion, but i'm going to because i'm pretty sure you'll be objective about it ;) and not take it too literally!
Hope you have a great weekend!
starfish on 02/27/2009:
Hey there :-) You have been doing so much better! I know your calorie total for the day is not what you were aiming for, but it looks much better than some of your past totals. And that's what counts, getting better and better :-) :-) :-)