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Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Dec 06, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

for tomorrow, i'm going to make my lunch. possibly...

sunday: breakfast = 900. ok. lots of chocolate soy butter, green drink.

lunch = 700 ok... egg white flatbread, small package of cheese and pb crackers, package of animal crackers. at grandma's.

snack = 400 getting bad... coffee ice cream. at grandma's. prob should have turned it DOWN.

dinner = 250.... + 250 ....+ 450 = not ok. soup w. a bowl of lettuce, sandwich with turkey and american cheese, 6 lindt chocolates.

total for today: 2950. not good. nope. it would have been 2250 if i stopped with just the soup for dinner. but no! i had to go for a sandwich followed by 450 cal of lindt chocolate.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saturday:

i wish i could go back in time. go back about 5 years...or even better, 7 years. but i can't. so i have to make due with what i have.

 plans for today include a walk in the park later. and some homework for school and  a movie tonight. no big plans i'm glad actually.

breakfast: 1200

snack: 200

snack: 50

late lunch: 200, 150, 500 = 850

total so far: 2300

4,000 cal today. haha.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 12/06/2008:
Hope you were able to get the walk in & enjoyed the movie.... I just got in from walking a 6 miler and now getting ready to shower & get gussied up......

Check on ya tomorrow!


hopinforachange on 12/06/2008:
I hope you were able to get in your walk today. Have a good time watching the movie & with the homework. :)


selina on 12/07/2008:
Have a good day, HOP!


loveray on 12/07/2008:
love, kisses, happiness and peace. be kind to only yourself this sunday. xoxo



Horn_of_plenty - Friday Dec 05, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: lots sugary oatmeal, pb. 700

snack: apple 80

lunch: green drink, apple, coffee 200

late snack: fruit/nut bar: 170 mostly in carbs/fat but healthy fiber

dinner: mcdonalds 900, lg apple 130, cookies 450 around 1500 total here.

2650....plus soup, 3,000 on the dot.

3400 (biscotti, jello)

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 12/05/2008:
Best wishes for a good weekend my friend!



Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Dec 04, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

4500 calories.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 12/04/2008:
H_O_P ~ Maybe do some yoga routine in the privacy of your room if at all possible... You don't have to look at yourself to do it.... Try to focus & channel as much positive energy as you can... I know you WANT to combat your struggles,stresses, etc....... Struggle was on my plate today, due to the week before monthly hum-drum appearing... I know that is what it is and still didn't resist the ice cream (with extras to boot).....

Hope that you can feel better, be under less stress, feel your desire to get this done so badly that resistance occurs....

Get some rest!


loveray on 12/05/2008:
i love you- i have some great yoga home practice guides if you are so inclined. i hope you have a restful weekend and are able to get back to your essence. xoxo


WI3 on 12/05/2008:
Hey there HOP! I just finished a book called "Former Fat Girl" and I really got a lot of good information out of it. One thing she talked about that was a very good idea, was to purchase seven days worth of workout clothes (not all at once obviously if you can't) and then have them put together so that they are always ready. She also gave some good information on other issues. It is worth a read. I think she has a website as well..something like formerfatgirl.com



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Dec 03, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

hey. much better, no. little better, possibly.

breakfast: 2 packages oatmeal (flavored) and almond milk. 400

snack: apple, green drink: 160

lunch: hot pretzel w. ketchup/mustard: 400

snacks---dinner: (unhealthy) popcorn 260, iced lg coffee 90, tofu175, celery20, salsa40, romaine20, (salad), (around 600)the entire package of SIX carob coated rice cakes (now i need to replace them bc they weren't mine...)...720 for the rice cakes total here: 1320. hahahah stupid???!

total calories today: 2280. i did wake up. i've been up. stop eating this way jackie. just stop!

my goal: 115 is still my primary goal. but how will i do it???? it keeps getting further away. it's ONLY 25 lbs away. it's NOT hard. why am i making it that way?  i want to get BACK into exercise in the am. on the treadmill. like workingit, i should have the goal of losing FIVE lbs a month. that's FIVE months. soooo...by MAY i should reach my goal. that sounds good. and some time to spare before summer. five pounds is NOT that hard. and i'll prob lose some extra weight the first month. i'm practically crying, well not really, but this can be done and i need a better hobby than to eat after work. for now on, i shall go straight to the gym...i'll pack my clothes? i shouldn't stop at home - anymore. so yea, i'll pack the gym clothes tonight and go straight to the gym tomorrow. feeling to big for yoga.

sorry for the rambling, but it helps me.

food plan for tomorrow, before i get even more obese:

breakfast: oatmeal, almond milk 200 WATER

snack: TWO green drinks: 170

lunch: SUBWAY turkey extra meat 350?

GYM GYM GYM.

early dinner: salad and microwavable meal. up to 500.

total: 1200-1300 just fine. planning is everything, i guess.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

loveray on 12/03/2008:
good work on the planning front- its so hard to check in with ourselves realistically. i am proud of you!


selina on 12/04/2008:
hey jackie - you did well today, hang in there, we can do this... hugs!


selina on 12/04/2008:
I read this article and it's very interesting... it's about meditation and one's diet http://health.msn.com/health-topics/mental-health/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100227263>1=31016


mcwoo40 on 12/04/2008:
Just passing to say hello.I'm struggling over here.I was due to see the dietician tom but she cancelled till after new year,i suppose this gives me more time to be naughty or not???New year new start again!!!Take care Julie



Horn_of_plenty - Monday Dec 01, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i know everyone on here is busy! i will make time for you guys soon.... :) 

BASICALLY, I CANNOT MAKE A GOOD DECISION FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE DAYS...

another poor day. i think being tired forced a bad decision. actually, i made the decision to eat poorly.

breakfast: 440

snack: 100

lunch: 200

SNACKS...DINNER: CHIPS 150, MUFFIN 480, TACO BELL 640, COOKIES 450, BISCOTTI 280, ICE CREAM 550, JELLY 100, MICROWAVED FRIES 400. (3050)

TOTAL: 3790 OUCH.

 

tuesday breakfast: very carby. slightly healthy. banana, two packets high fiber cinnamon swirl oatmeal. very sugary breakfast. 430. eh. i may allow for a sugary lunch too...we'll see...

________________________________

 

400 extra cal more....1/4 cup pb. so, instead of 1550, 1950. still ok but no weight loss. ummm, i can only be happy it wasn't a full out binge. i didn't have much fat today anyway, so the peanut butter was probably a healthy addition. i have to get used to lower cals.

it's kinda late and i chose a late yoga class. now it's 9:30 and i have yet to study. i plan on studying at least one hour if not more tonight. or i can fail. this particular test it wednesday. but i need to learn a majority of it tonight so i don't have to stress it....

food was so-so. ending on a good amount. 1550 approx. today. :) i am happy for that.

i went to yoga and was nauseated by my horrible appearance in the mirror. it's a cross between an obese person and a body builder. so nasty.

i can only forge on ahead....

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 12/01/2008:
Thinking of you as you study & try your best to not stress..... : o )


thinnside40 on 12/02/2008:
You CAN make a good decision for more than 2 days in a row... You HAVE done it before! You can,m, but to believe that you WILL, more than you "think you can" is something to work on... I have lots to work on too, but we ALL have to believe in ourselves first before this can even come close to being a successful healthy lifestyle 90-100% of the time....

Positive thoughts are sent your way!


WI3 on 12/02/2008:
Hey there girlie! I was having a great deal of difficulty with trying to control my carb cravings, and I started drinking the benefiber in the morning, just one heaping teaspoon with 8oz of water and it helps me in the morning. I don't do it at any other time during the day but i bet it would work for all three meals. Anyway, just sharing what worked for me in case it might help.

That is awesome that you went to yoga. I really want to learn more about it but I am not flexible enough right now and most of the poses hurt LOL. Keeping you in my thoughts! Have a good evening and don't beat yourself up too much. =)



Horn_of_plenty - Friday Nov 28, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

sunday: breakfast cals/snack around 1210 not so hot.

calories for sunday: approx. 2250. most being on the not so healthy side. i am looking forward to a much better week compared to the sickening way i spent the past 4 days.  cheers to that. i hope everyone has a good week!

_______________________________________

thursday cal: 2650

fri: 4,000

sat: 4,000

If only i stayed on track on fri/sat i would have really not messed up my weight loss progress. but now i am back a few steps in the game. how many? let's calculate. i haven't done ANY exercise on thurs,fri,sat. so, the necessary calories could have only been around 1700-1800. if I subtract 1800 from each of those days, i'm left with 5250 total EXTRA calories = 1.5 pounds of actual weight in 3 days. hahahahahaha. i sure know how to become a sumo wrestler. now, i am somewhat taking control even though it doesn't appear that way. I feel like i've been off from school a week and it's only been 3 days.

I do realize, still, that i have my whole life ahead of me.  i can be the hottest woman out there if i only allow myself to be.  this is so sad - to what i'm letting myself become.

i was doing good on the eating front until Thanksgiving. I was breaking through the cycle but my momentum suddenly STOPPED. i think having too much free time is not working. hmm, next time i can USE it wisely - go to yoga twice - instead of not at all. blech. i was glad to have a few days off but i think all the pent up emotions caused my eating to go haywire.

 

saturday morning:

 pb on bread w. large banana 600....followed by eating leftover fast food from last night - YUCK! so nasty 700. pretty sad i did that. followed by slice of cake. 300

total so far for saturday: 1600. so it's my choice...i can go crazy, buy a pumpkin pie and eat the whole thing - which i really might do.

sorry to all of the DDers. i am just going through a REALLY BAD spell.

a lot of a whole sweet potato pie (there weren't any pumpkin ones left. i'll never buy sweet potato again. it wasn't as tasty but it seems i still did i good job polishing it off.)

whole pie 2000, stuffing 40, soup 80, lots of grapes 150

total: around 3900-4000 sheesh, man.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

friday night: huge fast food binge (mcdonalds/checkers).

i ran into an ex-supervisor today in the mall.  i couldn't believe it. of all people, it had to be her. she was nice....but didn't hire me back which lead me to choose a different field and go back to school. it wasn't all her, but then i had trouble finding a job. she says to me "i'm glad you found something you want to do..." i didn't personally take that well (in my head) because i did enjoy the teaching. it was challenging but isn't everything? but i wish she wouldn't have put it that i didn't want to teach - because that is not it.  I want to email her, to tell her that. bc it is seriously bugging me. bugging me like CRAZY. i'm so angry.

 

so today's a new day, right? of course.

breakfast: tofu/bran...and also 1/4 cup peanut butter. 600

snack?coffee, bar 200

lunch: chicken w. salad and salsa and big bread muffin thing 650??....AND a cake w. some bites of pumpkin pie.500 more...AND stuffing 600...two cookies...4 biscotti 560...pint ice cream920

late night: mcdonalds large fries, burger, chicken nuggets, checkers fries: total guess (i didn't eat it all) 2200

total on friday: 4,000

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

loveray on 11/28/2008:
thank you for your words of encouragement! its so hard to get out of self defeating mode. i feel like crap...eww. hope i can move on and remember the success i have had in the past!! xoxo hope you had a great time with your family


Donkey on 11/29/2008:
Oh HoP... :-( Hugs to you. I'm so sorry. I know, this must be a very rough patch for you. Eating won't solve anything though. Sooner or later you'll get to that point.

Have you considered this? It would seem to me that peanut butter seems to be a trigger food for you. On days where you start with peanut butter, they seem to go downhill afterwards. Sometimes, I have to swear off peanut butter for a while, until I have more self-control. Thankfully, I don't have to eliminate it entirely but there ARE foods that I DO have to give up and banish from the house FOREVER because I cannot control myself (potato chips fall under this category).

Hang in there!


WI3 on 11/29/2008:
Hello there! I agree with Donkey...and I know my trigger is chocolate. As soon as I eat some chocolate, I start getting 'hungry' for other stuff. I have no clue why, unless it is because chocolate triggers a serious pleasure rush in my body chemicals and then I spend the rest of the day trying to keep that 'high'. Well, don't beat up on yourself..tomorrow is another day and for that matter, this day isn't over yet. I'm a little high on cals right now and prety disgusted with myself right about now. Thanks for the heads up on that movie! I loved the first one and will have to check out the second. I watched "Meet The Browns" last night...OMG there were some funny things in that movie!

Take care! And don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff. =)


loveray on 11/29/2008:
i hope you are hanging tough today...i know how hard it can be once we get started, but just remember how one less thing might make it easier to lose the weight you want to lose. i know you are strong enough to resist. love to you! xoxo


selina on 11/30/2008:
Hi HoP! I hope you are having a good day, today! Hugs to you!


grumpy on 11/30/2008:
i didnt do well at all this weekend, either. tomorrow is monday and the festive weekend will be behind us. Xo.


loveray on 11/30/2008:
cheers to a MUCH healthier, saner week. xoxo


WI3 on 11/30/2008:
The way I see it, you are still counting calories so you haven't fallen totally off the wagon. And you are here every day, are honest, and attempting to do what you know is best for yourself. Taking it one day at a time. You are going to be ok!! You already are ok! I think your yoga is good for you because you feel in control and confident doing it. Sometimes it is that one thing that we are good at that helps us move forward and accomplish more.

Thank you for the kind thoughts for Brian and I. He really is a gem and a good man. I am a very lucky woman =)



Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Nov 27, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

happy thanksgiving. my plan is to relax basically ALL day. :) 

breakfast: tofu/bran and green drink...followed later by a kombucha: 340

snack: pumpkin pudding made with about 2 glasses of milk, some pumpkin, fat free butterscotch pudding mix, cinnamon. it was alright. 320

lunch: chicken, salad, salsa: 240

snack: 4 bran crackers 50

dinner: i gave in and had what i wanted. only went back for another portion of pumpkin pie-and i don't regret that! it was good. i love pumpkin pie. it's my favorite pie. i'm guessing in total dinner was around 1800.

total: 2650? not too shabby for thanksgiving day.

however, my goal is to LOSE weight. I almost gave into some peanut butter after dinner. glad i didn't.

I MUST succeed in this weightloss. It is my #1 goal right now.  of course doing VERY well in school is too. but i NEED NEED NEED to lose weight. i just must.

so i've learned...and i know...keep the meals SMALL but satisfying. snacks.  i will succeed i know i can. today's calories weren't even bad.  all i have to do is keep chugging along and at some point the weight will be where i want it to be.

in fact, i'm going to weigh myself right now...scared...

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 11/27/2008:
Enjoy your day!



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Nov 26, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

 total cal: around 2010

large healthy dinner. tons of veggies, chicken, pumpkin pudding dessert...600

exercise: YOGA. even though i feel out of shape and jiggly. lol. gotta just go through it.

today went well.  I think i got a perfect score on both exams. :)  I did well on week on exams actually! 4 tests in 3 days. thank god thats over. so far, we have 3 tests when we return from break, but there will DEFINITELY be more once we go over material on Monday. but for now, yay! break!

Breakfast: my usual for the time being. getting bored of it though. tofu and bran. 200.  I woke up at FOUR AM today! yes, 4. And thankfully since i accidentally fell asleep studying!

snack: a bran cracker. 10

lunch: party. 3 chicken wings and a LARGE slice of mushroom pizza. all was GREAT. fullowed by several cups of diet pepsi. was filling. 1,000 hopefully not more!

snack: large apple, kombucha. 200

total so far 1410. good for a pizza party. there was lots more food - and desserts. but i said why ruin a good day.

dinner: chicken, salad, other veggies. :) i've been drinking too much kombucha. but maybe a bit more? 

 

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 11/26/2008:
Happy Thanksgiving to you!!!



Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Nov 25, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

things are ok over here :)

don't really want to discuss what happened last night. but i do plan on telling you guys because i want your feedback....it's too much to write right now. i need to STUDY.

breakfast: tofu/bran. i like this! 200

snack: green drink yum. 80

lunch: eh. not much to choose from. vegetable rotini soup from subway which was very good and some chips. 250

snack: natural protein bar, another green drink. around 320

snack: orange pepper. 50.

dinner: large piece of grilled chicken cutlet, lettuce, lots of salsa :) around 400

ehh, had some dessert. pumpkin pudding i made using milk, sf pudding, and pumpkin. 280...and some kombuca. 60....340

total: 1640.  it's still ok. a bit high for the kind of weight loss i want, but mostly healthy. so what the heck.

 

tomorrow i have a darn pizza party to go to. i have to eat it so i'll enjoy it! only once slice, of course. then i will visit the gym! :) i've put off yoga until after thanksgiving. 

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 11/25/2008:
I remembered the other day to look at the name of those pecan substitute thingys that I listed a couple months back...Here is the website:

http://www.bowlbys.com/greatest_bits.htm

1640 is great!.... Keep up the self-reinforcement attitude!


WI3 on 11/25/2008:
Just stopping by to let you know I'm reading and still supporting you!


loveray on 11/25/2008:
looks like a really healthy and productive day!! love you.


skinnyjeans on 11/26/2008:
Good luck at the pizza party. You can do it! Just eat the one slice reeeeaaalllly slowly. LOL



Horn_of_plenty - Monday Nov 24, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

as far as sleep is concerned, i'm getting a lack of it.  last night i went to bed around 4am because i was studying. and tonight i'm now taking a break before going back and studying. it's 12:20am.  i feel like a freshman again. ugh...and it's worse this time around. exams upon exams, all memorizing. it's worth it though.

i would write what happened between myself and my sister now but i'll save that for tomorrow. boy does life never have a dull moment.  and this time i can say i did nothing wrong. lol. and i'm not kidding.  i admit it when i am wrong...i'll discuss this one tomorrow. but it sure is disgusting.

i have already had at least two cans of diet coke.  i am going to end up totally exhausted come thanksgiving day. that is just like me. i always overstress myself right before a break bc i know i can relax during break. however, it would be nice to enter the break already somewhat relaxed. I know myself - i'll probably end up with so little energy on thursday and fri (i have off) that i'll not want to do anything. perhaps this can change??

 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

breakfast: 200  tofu and bran

snack: apple 80

lunch: green drink, soy chips: 280

snack: large fresh pressed green drink from a health food store 180, nut/fruit bar170, 1/2 kombucha30.  total: 380

total so far: 940 :)

dinner: will be 1/2 block tofu microwaved, large salad w. peppers. possibly a little more kombucha. 330 or so.

total: 1300 about. lots of diet coke - yuck. but i had to in order to stay awake.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 25 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 11/24/2008:
You did have a good day eating wise though.... C o N g R a T u L a T i O n S!

Get some good quality sleep A.S.A.P., cause it will be what helps you the most to be the sharpest & healthiest you can be... Take Care!


loveray on 11/25/2008:
sleep sleep my wonderful HOP! have a great day. xoxo



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