you wouldn't believe it....but despite all my eating today i'm still SO GRATEFUL that i took the day off...you have NO idea! as long as i get right back into exercise tomorrow and keep it up, i'll be alright with no serious weight gain. but now i must see how many times i've binged since the New YEar....hmmm...only 4.
so, that equals 1/5 of the days of this year. better than 1/2 and that was what i was averaging...binging every other day - BEFORE The new year. so, i need to stop the madness...tomorrow will probably be HARD after today. but all is good in the world and i am not worried. i was actually looking quite nice yesterday before the food attack today.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
so i made the mistake of going out to dinner last night and not studying NEAR enough for our test this morning even though we are not having class. and well, i've hard perfect attendance thus far since september so i'm taking today off. it's a clinical day, so i'm not missing class just experience in the hospital which we are actually allowed to make up on our vacations. So, i'll be studying today for the test i should have taken this morning as well as the two tests we have on Wednesday. If i didn't take today off i would not do well at all.
so, restating, i'm taking today off. when i got home last night around 9pm i had no concentration and this morning i knew i wouldn't be able to memorize everything in just an hour. i feel bad taking the day off but in my heart i know i'm doing the RIGHT thing.
big breakfast: pb sandwich w. banana, pumpkin, cinnamon: 520, granola/cereal w. milk: 570, 2 choc ice cream pops 120....big bag chips 650 throughout morning (need to calculate...)...today is not the day to be strict....don't ask. Total: 1860 for breakfast.
3 fudge bars 180
banana 120, crackers 330, yogurt 190
grilled cheese 550
cookies 350
yogurt 200
3850 12pm...
ice cream 500
totellini 200
what am i forgetting??
total: 4550. there is something i forgot to list...crazy day.
grilled cheese....550 again.... later 2 cellniques. 200 more...
total today: approx. 5500. GREAT DAY. JUST KIDDING! but, good thing, it's over! :)
good week to everyone....it can ONLY get better :) and i'm happy for that. thanks for your caring comments. and i am certainly glad i took today off. :) and next time, i'll spend it wiser.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
going out to dinner was somewhat ****ty. 5 of us but one of us was tooting their horn all night and it wasn't pleasant listening. i don't mean literally tooting their horn, i mean talking way too much about themself and their accomplishments. way too much! sorry, just getting some hostility off my chest.
dinner: soup, grilled octopus salad! around 500 possibly? not much. :) maybe 600, but i'm counting 500.
total: 1350-1400 yay! great day. aside from dinner conversation. BUT, i'm glad i went and i ONLY went because of ONE person. a student of mine previously, now a sophmore in college. she is a wonderful person and that is why i went. and no, it wasn't her with the obnoxious level of ego. thankfully. :)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
25 min on treadmill...ankle bothering me today...so that's it. no yoga, out to dinner in this damn snow because crazy people i'm going out with want to drive in this mess when i'd rather be home and studying for sure! ugh.
2 hour delay! wahoo!
breakfast: apple
snack: cellnique
snack: cellnique
lunch: hot pretzel, coffee 400
snack: cellnique...830 cal before dinner.
dinner: out to eat...probably a salad choices limited....
two tests today...but what i'm REALLY looking foward to is Thursday when most of this long, test filled week, is finished!
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Have a terrific day!
Glad your #'s were good for ya today despite the poor company.... {{hugs}}
like selina said, cheers to a brand new week!
8am Breakfast: lg tea, apple, cellnique 170
9am snack: 2 breyer's fruit on the bottom yogurts w. a teaspoon of colon care fiber supplement in each (psyllium husk i think - i bought it months ago)! that should help the satisfying factor and it did. 350
12 lunch: dunkin donuts flatbread 290 was good!
2-3pm snacks at grandma's: 2 cellniques 170
dinner: lasigna meal 300, romaine and little dressing 30, yellow pepper 30, spag. squash w. little dressing 100, 4 weight watchers chocolate bars 240 total: 700 eh. a bit high but not a binge at all.
total calories: 1700 alright. i had a good day and i will have an even better week with calories. that's my goal.
avg calories of sat and sun: 2150. not great but not the worst. aiming to do better the rest of the week. :)
it's a new day and i'm taking that as a wonderful thing. Today is the 18th and I plan on weighing below 130 by the end of the month - or within 2 lbs of it.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
although today was a binge day, i am happy with my progress and am not in the least bit worried that i am not going to progress. tomorrow i'm not going to yoga and will be at the gym again. 1 hour on the treadmill and back into yoga come monday.
8:30 am breakfast: smoothie: glass milk 90, chocolate protein powder 100, strawberries 50, ice, 1/2 cup pumpkin 40, cinnamon. it tuned out a little thin. 280. :) about 3 cups total.
10:30 snack: large grapefruit: 120
Noon: luna bar 180
2pm: gym - elliptical 1 hr which felt sooo good after not doing cardio for probably 2 weeks! (no yoga today)
3:30pm snack: bag popcorn, peppers, tomatoes 340...apple, maybe cellnique haha i was trying not to have any cellnique this weekend total 510
early dinner: can of soup: 300...followed by a small binge: pb and banana sandwich: 800 total: 1100
calorie total right now: 2200...more pb: 2400 eh. ...2500...2600not really that bad.
i will NOT drink any cellniques this weekend :)...uh oh...i ordered them and they came today...i might have to have one. we'll see!
school has been really stressful lately. i never thought i'd have to face the couple situations or so that i've been in since september. i guess in general life is a learning experience and what bothers some people doesn't even raise a hair in others. i generally have a tendency to get worked up, bothered, or stressed over little things so now i see how important it is to NOT let classmates see this. now, i am not "worked up and hot and bothered" on a general basis at school. not at all. it was just something that happened these past two weeks and a sitution that got worse because i listened to the advice of my classmates - just certain classmates - and i think they may have intentionally gave me BAD advice. so i've been stressed as i took the advice and the situation got worse. for now on, i'll go to my parents or people outside of school for advice since my classmates will just take me as somehow who gets bothered by everything and is always seeking advice which doens't look very good on my behalf. it's too long of a story to write here as to what happened. but if i feel i need any advice after monday next week i'll end up typing it out! basically, it was all about misunderstandings.
take care.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
I admire you, cause even though, like me, you have BINGES (yes, I'm SO familiar with them), you don't give up and you still exercise and you keep a close watch on the scale so you don't go up too much...so do I...it just seems that SOME DAYS I just HAVE to eat more to feel good....??? I know this isn't helping get to goal....BUT!!!!...I believe that 'Not Gaining IS Progress!!!'.... SMILE!!!
Especially when someone isn't willing to accept that is WAS a misunderstanding... and not actual truth... If that makes sense?!?!?!?!?
Have a great Sunday!
Breakfast: lg tea, lg apricot 50
snack: cellnique 90
snack: apple 80
lunch/snack: cellnique 90 (if you wanna know what this is, look it up online they have a site)
3:30 afternoon larger snack: DD flatbread 290, medium iced coffee 50
snack tea
5:00 snack: grapefruit very large 130
5:30 early dinner: 5 rice cakes (two used as a sandwich for my burger)200, veggie burger 70, mustard/ketchup 20.
late dinner? 8pm: microwave meal, veggies 400
total 1470 alright. didn't go hungry this afternoon, that's for sure! probably a bit much in the later hours but i like the feeling of being satisfied at night.
no exercise...maybe 20 min on the treadmill later....but i think i will do cardio tomorrow morning and yoga later. only ONE yoga class! i also may go visit my grandmother tomorrow instead of sunday...yeah...
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
It is about like when a parent tells their child "you'll know what I mean when you become a parent" when the child goes against a rule or can't figure a parent's "worry" mechanism...... I pray that someone in their younger years will see what I have went through in struggles and save theirself many years of anguish & self-loathing a majority of the time.... . But, I didn't want it bad enough I guess before I realized I wasn't getting any younger, nor was this going to get any easier.... BTW ~ hurting knees, headaches, high B.P., etc... are IN THE PAST NOW... Ibuprofen used to be a "600mg-1200mg daily dose", like a government RDA.... I have maybe taken 10 at the most this last year... My kidney's thank me I'm sure...
Have a great weekend & take care.....
it seems that soon enough i'm going to have to have a LONG talk with my teachers. my energy is low so i'll update you all at some point about this. i'm plain ol' exhasuted now.
breakfast: 700 large bagel, two slices melted american cheese, butter
lunch: 100 cellnique
snack: small apple, large apricot: 120...followed shortly by dinner
dinner: red peppers 40, tomato 40, brussel sprouts 80, scallion 10, assorted frozen veggies 75, spray 100, 2 alright boca burgers 140, 4 rice cakes 160, and a grapefruit lage for dessert 120 total: around 800
total today: 1720
was on my feet for most of the day. no exercise. back to yoga Friday night. took 2 days off. somehow, this week sucked more than last week. however, the program is going well - at least in my mind. having some MAJOR issues with a couple ( i think) classmates. I'm a little worried at how EVIL people can be. backstabbers - i didn't think people would actually go this far. i'm really upset, not putting the blame where it shouldn't be. meaning, i know who is to blame and its not me.
it seems i sometimes have issues getting people to understand what i mean. by that, i mean i get myself into situations where what i not intentionally say/do gets me in trouble. so, this is why i need to have a talk with my teachers ASAP before things go from BAD to WORSE. i thought that problems like this would NEVER show they're ugly heads EVER again in my life.
a job i had 3 years ago had some situations in it like this. and those types of things never happened again until now. i HOPE it is the case that everyone gets into dilemnas and i hope the real problem/people get a BIG awakening. the nerve.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Sorry this is happening......
upset with myself and with life right now. i plan on working through this because in the past two days i've had about 5500 excess calories which means about 1.5 pounds of weight i could have LOST I have gained instead. this puts me back about a week in terms of weightloss.
what else? i'm just nervous and upset. some people in my class piss me off when they don't study but think it's ok to have 8 tests next week and NOT even agree with me to ask the teacher to put one off till the next week. too many tests. i study more for some than others and do pretty well on them all. however, there's one subject that needs more concentration from myself and from how the teachers are teaching it and we don't. it seems nobody really cares.
i'm just really frustrated right now as i'm having trouble balancing my EASY life. all i have is school and to try to maintain a gym or yoga (right now yoga) schedule. it doesn't get any easier than this. i don't have a family to cook for or a boyfriend to call. why can't i just deal with school and succeed with a happy state of mind and be able to release my worries and lose weight?
so yesterday was 5,000 calories. approx. 4500 today..
today was rough and so was last night. what a horrible feeling.
today ended with a big binge.
400 cals spread throughout the workday because i wanted to have some calories to use right now....4pm.
big late afternoon healthy meal: sauteed, 2 red peppers 80, scallion10, 3 servings mushrooms not so good 110, tofu90, added in cucumber30, two small packages seasoned veggies 240 , spray 100TOTAL: around 660
gave in and ate some stuff: crackers: 400, cereal 500, milk 80, chocolate 80
1.5 bananas 150, 2 yogurts220, pb 250
more pb on rice cakes 680
ice cream 750
bagel with cream cheese 430?
total today...i need a calculator for this one...: 4500 go me. not exactly.
ugh. i don't want to go to school the rest of the week ( i never take off...so i'll definitely be there....i feel like i need another vacation. school is really stressful right now.)
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Get some rest!
You never know, maybe you aren't eating enough calories for your weight and fitness level and you are getting the boomerang diet affect? I know you know about how many calories to eat and all, but maybe allow yourself a couple hundred extra calories to play with and if you don't eat them for a few days, then 'bank' them and splurge one day so you don't feel guilty and set yourself up for days of 'I screwed up' mindset. Yeah, after that one day of a binge you'll weigh more until the food works through your digestive system, but it wouldn't be real weight gain. Or maybe you can bank the extra calories for a couple of weeks and then have a solid week where you use the extra calories?
Take care of yourself!
i cannot sleep and doubt i'll be going to yoga on Wednesday. none of this is good.
BINGE: partially not sure why but it doesn't matter. 4 servings chips 600: , 2 servings crackers: 260, ice cream: 240
total: 2680. i might have more. cookies...3800...pint of ice cream...4800...i feel really, really sick.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
BREAKFAST: large snickers marathon bar. i wanted something bigger since i was going to be on my feet most of the day. 300
SNACK: cellnique 85
LUNCH: hot pretzel, mustard, ketchup, decaf coffee...around 420
SNACK: balance bar (which i bought bc it doesn't have fiber because i'm sick of being bloated during yoga!)
dinner: BIG. big grapefruit 120, lean cuisine 230, cucumbers 60, 2 rice cakes 80, yogurt 90. total: 580 which is just fine.
total: around 1580. happy with this. active day at school/work and then yoga. yoga wasn't that great especially my performance at the start of class. but it WAS necessary i went. i want to treat my yoga practice like brushing teeth - a necessary everyday activity.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Better days ahead!
I have the same problem with binging and it's a huge battle in my life as well. It sucks because there really is no cure for it, but keep fighting! We are all here for you!!
if i keep this up, i BETTER see a loss! soon, i'm going to not believe the calories on these cellnique drinks...as well as a few other packaged foods. because i really should have lost weight by now...but i also am not doing cardio, only hot yoga. so, well see...and we'll see if i have to change up my routine. however, i'm not giving up or changing anything yet. because i know i burn a lot in yoga and the weight is just "weighting" to come off!
wow! i was CRAVING central today. whew. glad most of the day is done. and such BORING stuff today in class so it was hard to remain focussed and ignore the signals of my body all day. i felt like i was going through a detox from all the mounds of food i was eating all weekend. not a lot of calories, but lots of actual food consumed despite. so today was a break for my body but not my mind!
breakfast later at school 8am: apple, protein/green drink: 170
10am snack: drink 90
noon lunch light: soy chips, coffee w. lot of milk 290 i think the coffee left me shakey. so, i guess i need to watch caffeine when i eat so light. didn't realize the chips wouldn't just soak it up.
4pm SNACK: SO HUNGRY. marathon bar w. lots of protein/fiber 290
dinner 7:30pm: microwavable meal, 100 cal worth of veggies. total: 450 which is good. blah...and 2 mini apricots 50
total: 1350 yay! except for the part about still not really losing anything! i think i have gained muscle from my yoga practice. i can feel it! :)
so much love right now.
yoga today for sure.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Have a great evening!
Sometimes caffeine can surely make a person jittery!!!
Hope you have a wonderful evening! Love, Maria
glad to see you going strong. I can't drink a lot of caffeine if I eat light, does the same thing! Keep up the great work!
MONDAY MORNING QUICK EDIT: well, well. i weigh myself fully intending to see 135...but NO! it's still high up there around 137-138! what's up with that!?? i ate dinner EARLY and weighed on an empty stomach (although i do have some waste in my system still.) darn. i know the lower numbers will come, so i'm not worried...just antsy for them to come already!
____________________________________________
SUNDAY:
what i learned about sunday mornings: get my ass to the gym or yoga no matter how bad i feel. don't eat a big breakfast which prevents me from going to the gym.
i weiged myself in clothing and thought it would be below 135. but not so much - scale said 137. eesh. i'm not upset and i hope to have a big loss by Friday.
feeling sooo snacky today. probably because of all the yoga yesterday.
breakfast: bran crackers eaten like cereal, milk: 230, tea
Snack: huge grapefruit, cellnique 220
lunch: canned salmon w. bbq sauce, a redpepper. yogurt after 240
binge right after lunch: 5 slices cinnamon rasin bread 440
snack at grandma's: 2 red peppers: 80
dinner: large more than a pint serving of sauteed collard greens (i think around 230?)that i bought the other day from a health food store with fried tofu (i know this was 200, package said so)...and, naughty me, a low carb energy drink 20 bc i gave into temptation on the way home. total: around 450 but i could be off on the sauteed greens. i hope not!
total cal today: amazingly 1660 approx. calories. i didn't give in at the end and this is a pretty good amount if i say so myself. of course, i'm really unsure on the sauteed greens i had at dinner (HUGE portion) but at least it was healthy.
i am just happy i didn't ruin the day. boy would that be unfortunate. i cannot ruin it this time around. this is my last shot before the spring, before my friend's wedding, and for me. i MUST lose weight this time. meaning, by the end of this month, I BETTER be below 130. i must do it for myself. i will not live in this fat body ANY LONGER. i will NOT!
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Hope you have a wonderful visit with your GM...please give her a hug for me.
[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 Next Page ]
hang in there, i miss you! xo
WI3 on 01/20/2009:
When I am getting ready to have a rough week, I always tell myself that the week is almost over. I don't dwell on how long it is LOL Sometimes it is the only way I keep my sanity =) I would have stayed home today as well! Good plan!
skinnyfatgirl on 01/20/2009:
don't let stress take over!.. taking the day off is good.. hang in there!
Justine6Robert3 on 01/20/2009:
Sounds like a good plan to take the day off and study.....I'm sure you'll do great! Hang in there HOP!
mcwoo40 on 01/20/2009:
Try and get a grip of those cals this afternoon.I have gone overboard with them too and the day has'nt finished yet.Stay strong,Julie
skinnyjeans on 01/20/2009:
EXCELLENT attitude! And you are right...most of your 2009 days have been GREAT! :)
legcramps on 01/20/2009:
For as many times as you mentioned you were taking the day off in your entry, I have a feeling you weren't just feeling bad about it, you were feeling REALLY bad about it, weren't you?! Everyone needs a break from their regular routine. I know you've heard this before, in fact, you just wrote it in the comments on one of my recent entries, so I know you know all about this. I just wanted to re-iterate for you. Everyone needs a break.
loveray on 01/20/2009:
yea i had a BIG deadline today...had to come in :( i feel better today, but hope to get some rest again tonight! xoxo
WI3 on 01/20/2009:
Get some rest and just get up tomorrow and do it! You will be fine!
thinnside40 on 01/20/2009:
Sounds like taking the day off was worth it for you... Good!
Panda22 on 01/20/2009:
You have a good attitude about getting back on track! That's awesome with your progress on minimizing the binging...that's a HUGE step! Hang in there and we'll see you tomorrow! Have a good night! =D
loveray on 01/21/2009:
hope your day gets easier today...thinking of you!