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Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Aug 05, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

total cal today: 1720...1920 (200 more calories after my walk...) yes, i wanted 1200. but no, i didn't eat anything balanced and my goal was really not feasible.  therefore, i will not call dinner a binge, even though it was 950 cal.

(2600 5 day avg.)  (2486, 6 day average.) yes, the avg is lower, but not by much.  i guess it'll improve if i keep calories down these two days.... my goal is to get through the week and weekend so i can be more relaxed next week. and actually continue this weightoss rather than maintain.

on the doctor's scale, i was 142!!! like, what!? that scale HAD to be off! my gosh.  no way am i that much....so i will forget that is the # it said!

breakfast: 130

snack: 140

lunch: 200 (approx470)diet drinks 510

snack: pretzels 160 (670)

snack:100 cal snack oreos 100 yeah, too many carbs. and boy they don't satisfy! (770)

dinner: 2 huge peaches on the way home 180, tomato brushetta stuff 50, bean salad 100, fried tofu 200, salad w. light dressing 40, yogurt 80, 6 chocolate pops 300 dinner total: 950


trip to the doctor. not looking foward to the weighin haha. lol, i'm so bloated when he feels my abd he's gonna think i have mass storage for like everyone in my town in my stomach. haha.

take care, looking foward to leaving some comments tonight. on your pages.

i'm depressed a little, 1st day back to actual classes. really boring at times. i need to relax. (i'd love a real chill pill!!!)

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/05/2009:
Good luck with the doctor. Maybe you would want to consider asking for a Rx for some anti-anxiety meds. There is a drug called Topamax that is supposed to help with binge-eating disorder as well. Think about it...

You have been doing well, lately though, with a few exceptions. Seriously, I think once school is over and you have a full-time job, things are bound to improve. hang in there!

hollybelle on 08/06/2009:
Ah, the doctor's scales are always WRONG where I go. Just go by the scales you usually weigh on. It's JUST a number, seriously.....I like your idea to FORGET it. A chill pill. Hey - get me one too!!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Aug 03, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

(info for myself.  8 days, 2000 + 5 days, 2600 = 13 days, 2230.) total possible extra calories over 13 days: 3000. less than one pound.

Tuesday Entry:  binged at dinner.  2600 is the 5 day average. i'm a mess, again.  If i can just manage 2 days of 1200 cal each, i'll be ok.  it would equal 2200 cal per day for 7 days. not great but tolerable.  i need help with this.  crap.  1st day back to class, tomorrow. now i'll be exhausted, i def can't sleep just yet.  i think i need to take a walk, again.

Breakfast: different. oatmeal w. a little egg white mixed in: 180, coffee 50, and i added a yogurt bc i wasn't satisfied. 90 Total: 320 ok.

snacks: powerade drink mixes: 60

lunch: green beans, banana, diet drinks: around 270


snack: too  hungry. 4 servings chips 500, 3 red peppers, small tomato 160 total here: 660 fine.

calories before dinner: 1310.  i will splurge today. 

dinner: ok...i will eat healthy...tofu w. leaks, microwaved. garlic. 300, 2 bread 220, veggie chips 500, cookie 200, cereal 450, blueberries 160, milk 60. 1900 just dinner....2 bread 180, butter 110....290 more, yogurt, banana 100

total: 3800. help.


Monday Entry:

current 4 day running average: 2290 for the past 4 days.  still a bit high.  tomorrow i *need*  a different breakfast. sick of the ices/coffee.  especially when i need to sit around for some of the morning, and think about my hunger...not good.

hungry, not great day.  i woke up with a painful knee - i could hardly bend it back at all. and stairs, well, not good...  i didn't even want to go to school, but i did.  i don't want to take off any more "sit around" days. i'd rather take the day to do something fun while summer is here.

breakfast: 150. was famished by a couple hours later. i'm not on my feet this week as much and i might have to have something different for breakfast that will be more satisfying... snacks, i forgot the vitamin waters....total 200

lunch: 400 healthy. salad, chicken, veggie chips - healthy fat.

snack: 180 horrible but satisfying ices and a yogurt. really around 200..

total before dinner: 800

dinner: grapes 80, 2 veggie pizza burgers 240, 2 red peppers 100, tomato 30, lots of eggplant with light spray oil and leaks that i cooked in the microwave 200 at most...650 at most. whatev. i wanted 1200 today, but this is what i ate, and i'm happy with it. like i said, whatever.

total cal: 1450. ok.  and some kombucha. 60 more.  so 1510.

exercise: some upper body weights and 21 minutes elliptical. i decided it was getting late and i needed to get home, lol.

exercise: weights for my upper body, situps, (no pushups, my knee will break!) and maybe a walk. cannot be strenous today. i don't feel great.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

balloonlady on 08/03/2009:
Just wanted to say hello again, Hope you get feeling better!

hollybelle on 08/04/2009:
Good morning, sunshine! Congratulations on the good day!

grumpy on 08/04/2009:
Thanks for the compliments, HOP! I don't know, i just feel like I am losing control again. I will definitely work on that today and all this week. Congrats on the recent loss. xoxo

Donkey on 08/04/2009:
Thanks for the words of support on my blog. It's funny because we're at different points in our lives, yet we are walking a very similar path. I know a few women who have overcome binge-eating by allowing themselves to eat more during the day, throughout the day, in a more balanced fashion. As a younger woman, you can still do this and lose weight. I know you do that thing with averages, but perhaps you might consider something like 1800-2200 calories a day and see what happens.

halley on 08/04/2009:
I think Donkey may have a good point about eating more during the day. Sounds like you need to rest your knee.

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Aug 02, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

friday cal: 5,000 ugh ugh ugh., saturday cal: 1200, sunday cal: 1440. 

3 day weekend average: 2547. too high. need some more days to balance the daily average out.

breakfast: 150

light lunch: 120 + powerade = 150

snack/turned into late, healthy lunch with 2 cookies: 660

dinner: 2 red peppers 80, romaine 50, eggplant rolletes 350 total: 480

total: 1440. good.

exercise: 30 min challenging elliptical in AM, back/abs/pushups, 30 min fast walk in evening.  light stroll with grandma. a good day all in all.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

halley on 08/03/2009:
I'm so glad that you got back on track over the weekend. What a relief that must be for you. Good job.

Donkey on 08/03/2009:
I agree with halley! So when do you start up school again?

mama_nurse on 08/03/2009:
You are doing awesome......congrats!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Jul 31, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

sunday edit:

friday cal: 5,000 ugh ugh ugh., saturday cal: 1200, sunday cal: 1440. 

3 day weekend average: 2547. too high. need some more days to balance the daily average out.

breakfast: 150

light lunch: 120 + powerade = 150

snack/turned into late, healthy lunch with 2 cookies: 660

dinner: 2 red peppers 80, romaine 50, eggplant rolletes 350 total: 480

total: 1440. good.

exercise: moderate. rainy day = less exercise. its ok. going to see grandma. making sure i have healthy foods with me.


saturday night:

1200 cal today. lots of exercise, sorta. outdoors. beach, etc.

time between this binge and last is about 9 days. (this is for my own record).  total calories extra i've had since my return from vacation: around 5500.  total calories i could have lost since vacation: again, around 5500.  No progress bc of my binging.  Otherwise, I could have managed over 1.5 pounds lost.  Although my weight is over 133, it is due to bloating.  I MUST move foward.

saturday morning edit:

breakfast: marino chocolate italian ice, coffee: 150.

 i woke up twice throughout the night to pee.  it looked cloudy and absolutely disgusting. full of all the garbage i ingested.  probably full of sugar that my body could not handle.

i am "embarassed" to say that I messed up again.  a bit angry at myself for actually giving into a binge and skipping a party i planned to go to.  upset that i worked REALLY hard to lose weight this week, would have been around 1.5 pounds, too. I now have one month till September. I will not give myself a weight goal, but, I can still think about what I may be capable of.  I have been binging all summer and I am not content with it.  I am upset that I cannot manage my behaviors yet. too bad i didn't get a call from the psychologist yet to make an appointment. they're overbooked.

about 30 days left till September.  My 27th bday is 9/9/09. hmm...that is 39 days.  I can lose an average of 5 pounds by then. yeah, it doesn't sound like much, but that is what's feasable. and not just a lofty dream.

i feel like crying.  but of course i won't.  it's just spilled milk.  I am not happy with my weight right now.  I was thinking by 27, like 25..and 26...that i would have my weight managed.  but no, my weight will not be "under control" by my birthday. It'll be in the upper 120s, hopefully lower than 130 if I stay dedicated.

Last summer, late August, I was in my lower 120s. So I'm behind.  But why I am looking backwards.  That's one of my habits. Always looking at past successes, rather than working for new ones.

I am looking foward to a nice Saturday today. Last night was horrible. I even ate some brownie mix, that i didn't even prepare correctly. ugh.

My stomach is bloated, my body is worn to the core. At almost 26 years old, 9 years of binging is wreaking havic to my body. I cannot handle it as well as I once did.  I don't want to end up in the hospital one day like the patients I do Xrays on. 

I am working on it.  Boy is this a difficult process. Binging is not an easy habit to break.  All I can say is this weekend will be enjoyable, therefore no reason to binge.  yesterday was a wash. but i guess i need to move on from yesterday.

so there. most of next week is "recovery" from last night's high calories. after that, next 3 weeks of August will be weightloss weeks. Next week i'm also back to school, the classroom. i could cry about that one. too bad we didn't get one more month of hands on only, before testing begins again. leave it to  my teachers to start again one month early. blah.


shiiiiiiit. i binged. blah. my old habits are far from gone. 5,000 cal.  this means a gain of one pound (in one day!).  i will NOT focus on eating really low tomorrow, but just on eating for that day.  one day at a time...

instead of going out tonight, i'm staying home, bloated, tired, really full. tomorrow i'll be at the beach, and going out tomorrow night. i exhausted myself and overdid it today on lack of eating, or eating the wrong things, and i overate just now...

reason for overeating: lonely (parents are out of the house this weekend which makes me usually binge more when i'm alone in private), being tired, stressed, too many plans. exhausted.


200 breakfast, snacks: ice pops, sf and sugar, coffee, later vitamin water diet kind

300 lunch. very good so far seasoned corn, pickled/vinegared beans, salad.

total so far: 500 great.

snack later: ice pops probably.

dinner: who knows.

plan: gym or bike, party tonight. :)

looking foward to a fabulous weekend.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

halley on 07/31/2009:
What kind of party? I have nothing fun on my agenda for the weekend except workout. I'm jealous!

halley on 07/31/2009:
So sorry to hear about your setback. Just try to re-group. Feeling guilt only makes it worse. Deep breath, relax, start over.

catepillar on 07/31/2009:
I love your plan, one day at a time!

catepillar on 08/01/2009:
Hey dear, we are having a meeting in ten minutes and would love to have you! http://oa12step4coes.org/meetings.html Scroll down on the left side and when you see "Meetings" click on that and the times will show up and then just click on the chat room link! I wanted to make sure you knew you were being thought about :)

jon'smom on 08/01/2009:
Don't give up. I gained back all my weight and now I am starting all over again. We can do this together. Take care:)

Donkey on 08/02/2009:
Please don't feel embarrassed. We are here to support you. Sounds like you are doing well so far.

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jul 30, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

today was another good day.

breakfast/snacks: 200  ices, coffee, later some sugar free stuff.

lunch: 400  lots of beans, salads, some dressing, diet snapple.

snack: 150 ices, sugar free and sugar versions. satisfying!

total before dinner: 750

dinner: a bit large, but ok by many standards. 700. healthy veggies but large amounts and the microwavable meal had 350.  total of 700 for dinner.

total today: 1450. good.  :)

exercise; hour walk. :)


Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/30/2009:
Good day! YAY! I like the sound of this post. Those ices sound good. I love popsicles in the summer. Oh, oh - now I want some!

halley on 07/31/2009:
Sounds great - I have a few microwave meal, but I rarely eat them - kinda sounds good. Not like the old days - they've come a long way!

h82bfat on 07/31/2009:
I'm so glad to see you're "back on track". It's so easy to let outside forces derail us (especially when we don't even know what the "source" of the moment is!). Thanks for being here every day - good & not so good - it helps me say to myself "if she can do it - I can TOO!

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jul 29, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

breakfast 200

lunch: 400

snack after school: 160

dinner: lots of veggies/salad: 160 and a microwave meal 350 total: 510

total cal today approx: 1270. wowsers. really really low and fine.  i NEED to just do a fast bike ride....  got to. :(  i don't want to, but i feel bad not going out, although it may rain...so...who knows.

ices after the gym 30.  didn't do much at the gym, but at least i got out of my house and back on my feet.

total cal 1300..

need to clear my head. study tonight.

i've exercised monday and tuesday depsite being tired. but i may take the day off today, we'll see. i woke up really exhausted. perhaps my ankle needs a break? lol, not a literal one, either. but, a short walk could also do me good after dinner? hmm... and digestion is always better with some movement after dinner. not sure. i may just need a break.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

loveray on 07/29/2009:
looks like you are really doing well recently! i am exhausted from the move and just tired and bloated from pms...trying to get excited...leaving tomorrow night!! xoox

Donkey on 07/29/2009:
Woo-hoo! Look at you! And 2 lb down! What's up, Horn? Is there a new romantic interest in your life?

hollybelle on 07/29/2009:
Hi, checking in with you.

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Jul 27, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0


b: 160.

must sleep more tonight! sheesh. feeling SO tired. it's half mental, half sugar crashes, i think.

calories before dinner: 700.

dinner: microwave eggplant parm, tons of veggies, extra veggies, 1/2 pack low cal tofu heated up to eat with the microwave meal, 2 sugar free chocolate pops, large peach. 680 or so cal. maybe 700.

total cal today: 1380-1400. fine fine.

exercise: 40 min of bike/elliptical/pushups. 



time is flying fast, which is good, but also too fast for me to keep up.

breakfast: not healthy, but good. 180

no snacks. lots of sugar free stuff.

lunch: healthy primarily. pita, 3 large grilled shrimp, salad, diet drinks of course. around 500.

snack after school: ices, a sugar free chocolate pop, later diet soda, large peach: 220 or so.

dinner: 500 or so.

total: 1400. absolutely fine.

exercise: hour walk with dad. good day, again.


Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

halley on 07/28/2009:
Since you are s close to your goal - had you thought about cutting out the diet drinks for a week or so and replacing them with water? I keep hearing all this chatter about diet drinks causing weight gain, which I really don't believe, but there is some evidence to support it. Maybe just for a few days to see if it can kick start the loss of the last few pounds.

loveray on 07/29/2009:
expending any kind of mental or nervous thought patterns/energy can certainly be exhausting. even when i get a full nights rest and feel ready to rock, i sometime come home from a long work day with a lot of meetings and engagements just exhausted. hope that you feel better soon!! xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jul 26, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

sorry for being a loser and not commenting as often. i've been trying to stay off my laptop as of late. and i've been successful.

breakfast: around 280

vitamin waters: 80

lunch: maybe 450 or so.

dinner: maybe 650 or so.

nothing really had calories listed on them.

perhaps today's calories: maybe 1500. hopefully less! :)

exercise: good.

whole weekend: fabulous.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

MoodyMe on 07/26/2009:
Good for you HOP!!!!!! Yay!

halley on 07/27/2009:
Sounds like you are doing great!!!

grumpy on 07/27/2009:
wow, what great news! no worries about not commenting, i am doing the same! xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jul 25, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

saturday entry: 1200 cal, good exercise, lots of fun. goodnight!

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

catepillar on 07/26/2009:
Congratulations to you!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Jul 24, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

calories: approx. 1200 today. mostly healthy. lots of veggies.

total avg calories per day since I've been back home: 2,000 per day for the past 8 days. not great, for sure. not horrible. not enough to gain real weight, just bloat. possible weight gain of less than a pound. lots of rambling right now, lol. lots to do on the weight front, as well.... :)   i will make it happen! i will i will i will! :)  :)   :) 

with stretching at back/abs/pushups (and bike/elliptical) total exercise today was approx. 2.5 hours. wowzers. it felt SO GOOD. cardio prob lasted at least 1.5 hours.


yesterday i slept like 12 hours. and i'm STILL tired. sheesh. what's going on with me!? ....i'll be fine, i'm sure...

breakfast: my stomach was so full from whatever it was i ate last night around 10 when i woke up. so i had coffee and chocolate italian ices. 150 cal.

snack: bar and drink: 170 cal

lunch: around 280 cal. beans/hot veggies/salad.

total here: 600...



i'm sooo stupid for overeating the past few days bc weightloss took some determination while i was away. i ate right bc i wanted to. and it worked really well. i prob did lose at one point 5 lbs in just 10 days! and i've put a couple back on! careless on my part. so now i need to make MUCH bigger efforts. i promise myself continued success with my weightloss. it means watching calories. keeping them LOW. and walking/exercising much, much more.  i am now able to exercise for longer periods of time without a problem....especially walking. i can do it for 6 miles no problem as long as it's not only on concrete...

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

nenak on 07/24/2009:
you can exercise for longer so you are winning!!!!! stay positive

hollybelle on 07/24/2009:
I have been really tired the last few MONTHS! I think it is because I am eating too much sugar and carbs AND not exercising as much. Being tired alone is the incentive I need to do right by my body. I am job hunting right now as I want to go back to work FT - and I will NEED energy to do that.

MoodyMe on 07/24/2009:
EVERYONE I talk to is tired...seriously! The people I work with are all talking about not having any energy and being soooooo wiped out...weird.

Any fun plans for the weekend? Doing something you enjoy and can relax???

halley on 07/24/2009:
Sounds like you are getting your focus back. Don't you hate to see hard work wasted by being careless? You'll do fine.

thinnside40 on 07/24/2009:
Your not stupid.... Neither am I... I'm challenged... ;-)




h82bfat on 07/25/2009:
Don't beat yourself up over this. You are only human - no one is perfect, even super models have food issues!! :c) All you can do is work thru it and get back to it.

Are you keeping a food journal? It may help you figure out your triggers by questioning your choices as you're making them....... I think finding your "triggers" are your key to success - but hey, that's just an observation - I'm not a guru or anything & I don't claim to have the answers (I'm still searching myself). I just know that I had to figure out some of my triggers (notice I say "some" becus I've still got "some" to figure out) before I started making any significant progress.

Overall, you're doing a great job and should be pleased with yourself and how far you have come. If you must judge your success, try to look at how far you've come - not how far you "think" you have left to go.........

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