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Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Sep 10, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 127.0

pissy, tired mood. not enough sleep and it's definitely adding up.

1220 cal so far. still need dinner.

update later.

dinner: microwavable: 400 total 1620. not bad. fine!

BLAH! i gave into temptation and had 6 chocolate candies with yummy centers. they were kinda not so small. i'll say a moderate 350 for those...plus dinner which was about 400.(750 total)

total for today: 1970. a bit high to try to lose weight but probably fine to maintain. ok. better tomorrow!!! :) yay

thanks for being supportive of me during difficult times. you have no idea how much i appreciate it! :)

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

grumpy on 09/10/2008:
glad i can help girl! and you do comment pretty often, no worries. sometimes i dont have the energy to do it either. also, hospital food sounds like an awesome diet plan. hehehe. nah, really, sounds like a good thing to try. xo

thinnside40 on 09/10/2008:
Chocolate isn't a temptation 9/10 times... It is a neccessity I say !!!!!

Good Thursday to you!

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Sep 09, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 127.0

i will definitely start commenting on your entries soon! :)

dinner = big portions. chicken, green beans with some oil and lots of garlic cloves, some health salad made with cabbage/peppers/carrots/vinegar/possibly some oil, a whole red pepper, cup of tomatoes. around 650? followed by a whole pear with sugar free strawberry jelly topping: 200? total 850 for dinner

total calories today: possibly 1690?? not a great choice of food for this many calories!!! at least i did eat some fruit/veggies!

unhealthy eating.

2 powerbars: 480 at different times during day

coffee 40

pickled foods and some cucumber: 80

3 lindt lindor milk chocolate balls: 240 very good!

total so far: 840.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 09/09/2008:
Whoops!...... Pickled foods? Like pickles????? I love pickles!..... "I'm on" and was having some major craves for munchies/salt, but the worst part is over with now...Til next time!

grumpy on 09/09/2008:
looks like you've been doing ok in the last few days though... can you see why you binge some days and you dont at others? maybe if you recognize the reasons it can help you prevent? xoxo

loveray on 09/09/2008:
you are doing well with such stressful events present. happy bday my love!

omahagrl on 09/09/2008:
you had a lot of veggies which is a good thing! Happy b-day!

lafemme_loca on 09/09/2008:
Happy Birthday !!! I hope you are doing well. You did well with the veggies and fruits... :-) Don't stress ! :-) Enjoy yourself ! *hugs*

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Sep 08, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 129.0

760 cal before dinner.

dinner: 400 cal and a DD jelly donut...gotta look up the cals...300 only hopefully. it was good! even though it was a day old.

total: 1460. not bad...actually 1500.

exercise: 2 mi

shiva/funeral company still going on.


feeling fat and ugly and like i'm going to wake up with horrible pimples on my chin bc of stress and lack of sleep. don't want to ever binge again. (i didn't today but realize that i have done it soooo often this summer that i just don't want to have to think about it anymore!)

Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

WI3 on 09/08/2008:
I am so sorry to read of your grandfather's passing and your grandmother's heart ache :(

Take care of yourself.

loveray on 09/08/2008:

thinnside40 on 09/08/2008:
Sounds like a lot going on, but looks like you are doing good....

Have a good evening!

Jen40 on 09/08/2008:
Sending soothing thoughts your way tonight, I hope you get some well needed rest.

lafemme_loca on 09/08/2008:
*HUGS* I hope you can have some rest and that you are able to stay strong and not turn towards food during stressful times. I have been thinking of you.

anewhb on 09/09/2008:
ope you got some sleep. If finding sleep difficult now - may consider ONE Tylenol P.M. or similar medicine. I use it from time to time and one does not make me drowsy in the a.m. Good calories - hang in there.

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Sep 07, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 129.0

last day before my class starts. i'm supposed to read another chapter in a different textbook. will have to do it MUCH later. I really want to get enough sleep tonight! i have to be waiting for the shuttle to the hospital at 7am.

breakfast/snack: vitamin water 80

late breakfast: starbucks vivanno: 270

lunch: deli: 500?

dinner: TONS of Turkey and health salad. no idea: guessing 800 total: 1650. very ok...and fruit: 1750?

a little antsy bc i just wanted to get ready for this program but people are coming over soon and i cannot read the book i need to look at.

Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Moody2 on 09/07/2008:
Good luck with your classes tomorrow!! Very exciting!! Let us know how it goes!

Maria7 on 09/07/2008:
Calories look good! Hope you're doing okay!!!! Big smile to you!

loveray on 09/07/2008:
good luck! love to you.

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Sep 07, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 129.0

i was looking through my entries...how scary! only last week i binged 4500! i thought it's been longer. for some reason i'm so nervous for the next binge...

plan for monday: wakeup 5:30am...gonna be interesting...leave house by 6:30...

breakfast: cereal with almond milk and fruit: 200

snack: bar? 200?

lunch: grains with turkey and fruit: 340 approx.

snack: Vivanno after work? 250


this day has been planned in a very rushed manner...going to bed late too.

lots of company sunday and sunday night!

Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

anewhb on 09/07/2008:
Not a normal routine today - Hope you were able to read thebook and that you sleep well. Exciting day Monday - don't wowrry if it doesn't go perfectly - First days are usually hectic, and with the funeral, company and totally being out of routine. Maybe it is an opportunity to be flexible. It will even out in a day or so......What is Vivanno?

Jen40 on 09/08/2008:
Have a great day. :O) I'm curious about vivanno too.

LaFemme_Loca on 09/08/2008:
Hope you had a great day ! :-)

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Sep 06, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 129.0

this morning i went into see my grandmother bc she was sobbing a bit missing her husband. but then she stayed in bed a bit more as I got up and had breakfast.

breakfast: bread, avocado, hard boiled egg sandwich, peach, small glass almond milk: 350.

lunch: (MUST have good carbs after yoga)smoothie from Starbucks :) followed by a pickle and some sweet peppers at home. 300

total so far: 650

snack: kiwi and some bran crackers: 100

dinner: 2 pcs chicken, sauteed string beans, a red pepper, fruit salad. totally not sure on calories. guess: at most 650-700.

total calories: 1300-1400. good.

I'm going to yoga this morning and then probably some errands later. A walk tonight with my Uncle. Today nobody will be coming to the house bc it's a day of rest. I need to get a few last things done before going back to school for my first day on Monday. Sunday we will have people over and Monday/Tuesday (my bday) people may stop by but i will also be in school.

Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/06/2008:
I did not have the opportunity to express my sympathies to you in your time of loss. I am sorry for the sadness in your family, but somewhat relieved that services (shiva) have passed and you survived. I think it's OK not to speak at the service. Silence is the first language of God. I wish more people would be silent more often... There is sacredness to silence, I think.

So just in case I forget or do not have time, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday early. And the best present of all is the one that you're giving yourself: an education to do a career that you will like (if not love). Nothing more fulfilling in life than a purpose.

Thinking of you today and always...

thinnside40 on 09/06/2008:
RE:"i see you are subsisting on bars today! Interesting...maybe a lot of sugar?"

Actually the breakfast (Khashi Cookie) was 5g sugar and the dinner was 7g of sugar (Khashi Bar).....I did better on not really being hungry yesterday than I have done in a long time... I do eat a lot of things with Splenda and trying to reduce that a bit.....Yesterday was an "off" day with how busy I was and I am so pre-occupied mentally with my g'ma & SIL health issues right now, maybe it is a good thing for me to really just kind of "not" pay attention so much what I am going to eat the next snack/meal and eat what seems to sound good (healthy of course, but maybe not a "meal" type food )... If I do think about it too much right now, then I will eat too much from stress, anger, being blue, etc.........

Have a good day & fun @ yoga!

grumpy on 09/06/2008:
Aw sorry your grandma was sad, but must be good for her to have you around. as for moving away, i dont know girl, seems like it's so important to you that maybe there's a way to pull it off. you're so smart and talented, i am sure you can think of something you could do on your spare time for extra money. how about school dorms? and also sharing a place with a couple of others. i have friends in school who can live pretty cheap. think about that. xoxo

Moody2 on 09/06/2008:
So sorry to hear about your grandpa~its never an easy thing to go through..I'm glad that you are there for your grandma~blessing to you and your family~

loveray on 09/06/2008:
i hope you are hanging in there- thinking of you!! xo

selina on 09/06/2008:
Take care HOP - it's going to be nice to go to school - new friends, academic environment, new clothes, new schedule to follow. Enjoy each new thing!

Animob on 09/07/2008:
Aw... What a nice granddaughter you are... Hope Your granma is ok now. :) Sounds like your doing great with your food intake.. Ahhh.. Yoga... Nice one! :) Take care! :)

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Sep 05, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 129.0

thank you all so much for your condolences. the ceremony went well today. i didn't speak at it, but my sister, dad, uncle, and grandmother all did. i am kinda shy for public speaking and i knew i wouldn't feel comfortable up there. i didn't feel bad about it at all, bc everyone pays their respects differently.

breakfast: avocado and hb egg sandwich, fruit, almond milk 350.

lunch: coldcuts, deli stuff: 450?? can't really imagine more.

snack: cereal w. almond milk, and drink with special k protein powder in my water, and strawberries: 260 yup.

total so far: 660...i'll round to 700.

dinner: egg, MANY tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, 2 interesting green dumplings, and some cooked chinese broccoli and other veggies in sauce. Hopefully not more than 650.

total around 1300-1350 today.

walked 4 mi in evening with my uncle.

Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 09/05/2008:
Have a good evening & I am glad to hear that you made it through the service and in the way you chose to compose yourself, instead of being uncomfortable... We all deaal with certain circumstances in an individual way.. Nobody else can tell the other how to deal with it, just can't......

lafemme_loca on 09/05/2008:
*hugs* my condolences and I am glad that you were able to get through it all.

Jen40 on 09/06/2008:
*hugs* I am so sorry you lost your grandfather and that things are so stressful right now for you, too. You can vent in your own diary anytime you like, that's what it's there for. Hope your weekend is peaceful and relaxing.

anewhb on 09/06/2008:
Aw, HOP. Good job making it through a stressful time. Did you enjoy walk with Uncle? Was there any room for bonding there? Love to your Grandmother....what is her age? If your G'father was 97 - wow they must have been together for a LONG time! To still have them both a those ages - I hope her health is well. God bless you all.

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Sep 04, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 129.0

i apoligize if anyone was offended by what i said earlier today in this entry.

anyways, things are alright by me with my family here. i'll be going to bed shortly. we have the funeral tomorrow. i have not chosen to make a speech...i'd be very uncomfortable doing that. my sister, dad, and possibly uncle will say a few words.

eating went well. approx 1500-1700 calories.


1 pc bread, poached salmon, and avocado sandwich,plums, almond milk: 550?

Grandfather passed away today. He was a healthy man up until when one of his toes got badly infected. By healthy, I mean he was NEVER on ANY medications or life support. He died at the age of 97. He had a very strong heart. I haven't seen him for a long time - only my dad would visit him in the nursing home. So tomorrow is the funeral and my grandmother, sister, and uncle will be staying at my house the next few days.

I have a short while today pretty much to get ready for my school...I need to pick up some clothes BADLY. i gained some weight back and i need all clothes that fit...as well as black clothing for the ceremony. then, supposedly there'll be shiver (however you spell it) at my house for a week...but my school starts Monday which i obviously cannot miss. life's interesting.


Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

anewhb on 09/04/2008:
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Glad you had your vent here. Go do what you have to do and move forward. I get anxious when I have to see people I haven't seen in a long time and I don't think I am at my "healthiest" weight, too. Chances are others are just glad to see you and don't really care what you weigh. It sounds like you admired your grandfather. Celebrate his life and everything else will get caught up later.

P.S. I ate an avacado last night and thought of you. I liked them, but don't usually eat them. What do you put on them to jazz them up a little?

grumpy on 09/04/2008:
sorry to hear about your grandfather. as for your mother, girl, i think you need to make long term plans of moving out of there. is that on the horizon?

selina on 09/04/2008:
I'm so sorry to hear about your grampa. I remember you mentioned him once to me before. It's so sad....

concerning your mom, I agree with grumpy. Stay well!

liza36 on 09/04/2008:
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

thinnside40 on 09/04/2008:
Hope you got some nice new clothes and it didn't take very long to shop!

Sorry to hear of the family loss...

omahagrl on 09/04/2008:
Sorry for your loss

loveray on 09/04/2008:
i am so sorry to hear of your loss...my condolences are with you and your family. i pray you are able to stay strong during this time...especially with food. love to you.

Animob on 09/04/2008:
I am sorry to hear about the bad news. Take care.. Hugs...

Animob on 09/04/2008:
Ow.. yes.. About my protein intake yes... There is a protein in my Herbalife shake.. :)

Agent_Guber on 09/04/2008:
I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather, you must feel devestated. I hope the clothing all works out for you and you can leave some of that frustration behind. (((HUGS))

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Sep 03, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 129.0

ready for a new day to begin on Thursday :)


BIG EDIT: no more stupid fad diets. i cannot stick with it. it was dumb trying. so, carbs are back. so is milk. etc. dumb move to exclude anything. i did it once and really have no urge to ever do it again anytime in the near future.

soooo...lunch was a BIG BINGE: total calories for today: a whopping 4500. are my goals to lose weight over, no way.

with a weight of about 130, my goal is to lose between 4-8 (probably not 8) pounds a month. by October 11th (only about FIVE weeks away!!!) I could possibly lose around 5-10 lbs. not as much as i want but then again i binge whenever i want lately. so, it's not like the food is magically going to fly off me. arg.


Am I allowed to post 129 from all the sweating after yoga??? yes, I'm changing 130 to 129! haha.

i weighed in this morning and to my dismay I'm only ONE pound lighter than yesterday's afternoon weight. ugh.

Breakfast: poached salmon and a big tomato: around 300-350.

Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

loveray on 09/03/2008:
one pound is great!! its better than gaining, right! thanks for the well-wishes. i am going to see how things go with the lunch schedule: there is a chance that they will buy my lunch- depends on if we have client meetings or not. i am lucky enough though to be both 5 minutes from home and a whole foods! so, if we dont go out or i dont want to go out i can prepare something healthy. heres to a new routine and getting back on track for good!!! ps- i threw out my peanut butter last night. ;)

grumpy on 09/03/2008:
This always happens to me too. I weight in at night, with clothes on and I think "well, in the morning with no clothes on or food in my stomach I will be at least 2 pounds lighter..." haha., never. Always one or so. Anyway, 130 is not terrible, just focus and always remember your goal and look at that picture of you that you like so much and you will get there. thanks for your comments also, girl. i think he does love me or he wouldnt have spent all his bday weekend with me, but he still is not willing to give me what i want. at least as far as i know. and i am afraid he never will until i make him feel what it's like to not have me around at all. i may try that after our trip to LA if everything stays the same till then. SIgh.

thinnside40 on 09/03/2008:
Have a terrific day!

liza36 on 09/03/2008:
Absolutely, change the weight! Hopefully the 130's are history forever. Have a great day.

Donkey on 09/03/2008:
This is just a Donkey observation but I think that once you start school and are busy again, working towards a purpose, a goal, that the eating will resolve itself.

I would try not to restrict my calories but rather eat foods that are healthy, and see where that takes you for the rest of the week.

Are you drinking enough water? For me, when I do not drink enough water, things tend to start getting bingey.

lafemme_loca on 09/03/2008:
I am glad that you realize that fad diets aren't the answer... that everything in moderation is good... :-) As Donkey says, get your water in... get your fruits and veggies in... as for sweeteners... I use stevia and zsweet as all natural sugar substitutes that don't raise the glycemic index. They have helped. Once you are back at school, life will balance itself out. As for losing a pound... that is good !! Just think that is two pounds less of you !!! :-) I think I would have to chop off both of my legs to see the 120s... =) Heehee !!! Have a great evening.

selina on 09/04/2008:
Hi HOP! Sounds like you've got very good advice up above.. Take care!

grumpy on 09/04/2008:
i hope you feel a little better than this morning. xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Sep 02, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 131.0

had one of thos Special K water packets, pink lemonade. i bought two small boxes of them so I'm not throwing them out. figured I'd use it. in general, i'm not having a lot of artificial sugars though.


i stepped on the scale and got kinda freaked out. 131 lbs. wow! not good at all. i didn't think i was higher than 130. well, at least it's the afternoon and not the morning without any food in me. not good though. i will update this weight now.


back in Dec. 2006 i weighed 105 for a brief while...quickly going back up to 112-113. so, my goal is to get down to the 112-113 weight eating a plant and protein based diet.

i have not updated my weight and it is up a bit these past two weeks. by up i mean closer to 130lbs. i haven't weighed and will not weigh. I know what I need to do to lose the weight and a scale doesn't have to confirm it for me right now. I do NOT want to put a higher number up so I guess I'll have to lose the weight. I have chosen a new approach - actually an old approach that I took 1.5 years ago in order to lose weight FAST in one month for a vacation. low carb, protein and veggies, and healthy fats. If anyone remembers GG on here, this was her diet. Speaking of her, I hope she is ok and doing well. Anyways, I don't plan on sticking with only veggies and proteins for life at all. But i will keep it enforced until I begin school and probably through the first week if not more.

Breakfast: salad with lettuce mix/tomato, olive oil, hard boiled egg. felt good after having this! :) calories approx. 230

early lunch: healthy salad with olive oil an egg and a tomato..followed by 1/2 a jar of pb!...and deli chicken and turkey (moving on...and yes this was too much food!) approx. a big lunch of 1700 oops.

snack: 2 red peppers, 1/4 avocado, piece tofu: 220

total so far: 2150. i guess i'll save the salmon for dinner another night. I'm going to try and just have about 100-150 more calories today. probably in the form of a protein shake.

late dinner: protein shake 100-150 calories and that is all.

total calories today: about 2250-2300.

Progress as of today: -6 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

WI3 on 09/02/2008:
Hi there! I was thinking about you the other day when I went to an Al-Anon meeting. Neither of my parents are alcoholics by their parents were. So they were raised by dysfunctional people and they passed along some of those fears and stuff to us kids. I'm not saying there are any alcohlics in your family...but the meeting was very eye opening and I am learning how co-dependant on people I really am. And how I really try to control my life situation and when I can't, I turn to food. I turn to food as punishment more than as comfort. There are two books I am reading, one is called "The Language Of Letting Go" and the other is called "Codependent No More" both by the same suthor Melody Beattie. Even if there aren't any alcoholics in your family, these books are really good reads because they allow us to understand ourselves in the midst of dysfunctional relationships.

The hardest thing I did this weekend was to take my hands off my relationship with Brian. The feeling of trying to control him and turn him around to me was so strong. But in letting go, I got him back. And controlling my environment is truly a symptom of a dysfunctional environment. But it doesn't have to be alcohol or drugs or whatever. I hope you have a great day and thank you for always being a good soul =)

thinnside40 on 09/02/2008:
Tuesday is a Terrific Day!

Maria7 on 09/02/2008:
Your breakfast looks real good! Hope you are having a nice day! Big smile to you!

loveray on 09/02/2008:
i like your new plan! i am going to try to get back to more protein and plant foods as well. i have the same issue with peanut butter! maybe we should just trash it?

WI3 on 09/02/2008:
You are gonna be fine! You'll get your new groove going with the work thing and can concentrate more on YOU instead of worrying if the job you have is going to be ok. I admire your continued determination and how you share yourself with us. And I also wonder how GG is doing? Hmmmm....

You will do great with your new plan!

grumpy on 09/02/2008:
Hey girl, good for you to update ur weight. I will do the same tomorrow and I know i am up too, but you know what? it's not bothering me this time, what matters is what i will do from now on. xo

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